Archive of Our Own

Thirteen years ago 

The evening air is crisp and filled with the sound of laughter and chatter. Merry music blasts from the speakers, further lifting up the moods of the skaters in the ice rink. There are illuminations above and all around the rink, with the brightest of them all the colourful Sevenmas tree towering over it. The shining seven pointed star looks like it was plucked right out of space and placed atop the tree, and curled around the top of the tree is an elaborate dragon made entirely out of crystals. And just below that, on a huge, fancy plaque in the shape of a gingerbread man are the words -

Proudly sponsored by Targaryen Co. 

Before Jace can dwell on it, he’s tugged back against a strong, sturdy chest. When Cregan holds him like this, Jace feels safe and loved. He feels like he has everything he needs and nothing else matters. He feels like the weight of the world has been lifted off his shoulders and that he doesn’t have to worry about falling, because even if he does, Cregan will be right there to catch him. 

Cregan’s breath brushes against the shell of his ear. “Merry Sevanmas, Jace. I love you.” 

Jace smiles and turns around in Cregan’s hold, pressing his lips to his. “I love you too, Cregan.” 

He wants to spend every Sevenmas like this in Cregan’s arms.

Present day 

The bed rocks violently beneath Jace as Aegon thrusts into him. Jace holds back a sigh as Aegon lets out a loud, ostentatious moan. 

“Fuck,” Aegon says, grabbing Jace’s ass and pulling Jace towards him so he can push into him deeper. “Fuck, you feel so good, Jace.”

“Shut up,” Jace snaps. He hates it when Aegon talks. In general. But he especially hates it during sex. He doesn’t need the reminder that he’s fucking his uncle. He tried pretending it was someone else before, but Aegon’s gravelly, breathy voice is so uniquely his that it’s impossible. 

Aegon, of course, doesn’t listen as he continues babbling away while fucking Jace. He lets out this high pitched sound that lets Jace know he’s about to come, and Jace winces as Aegon grips his hips tight. Aegon grabs his hair and fuses their lips together as he reaches his peak. He thrusts lightly a few more times before he collapses onto Jace, burying his face in Jace’s neck. 

“Get the fuck off me,” Jace says. 

Aegon, as expected, doesn’t move until Jace starts shoving at him. Letting out the longest, most exaggerated groan, Aegon finally rolls off him. 

“I told you not to fucking kiss me,” Jace grouses, wiping his mouth. 

“You’re such a bitch. No wonder Addam broke up with you.”

Jace glares at Aegon icily, but Aegon’s already on the verge of falling asleep and doesn’t feel Jace’s ire. Jace rolls his eyes and sits up, running his fingers through his hair. He hadn’t come. He hadn’t even been hard for most of it, not that Aegon noticed or cared. Jace doesn’t care. They don’t give a shit about each other beyond their regular fucks, and that’s exactly how Jace likes it. And, honestly, getting fucked by Aegon is less about climaxing and more about being pounded roughly and getting the fuck out of his head for however long he manages to be able to. 

Jace gets off the bed and takes a quick shower. He has to be back at the office before 2pm for a meeting, and he can’t afford to be late. Unlike Aegon, who officially works at Targaryen Co. as well - he’s certainly on their payroll - but can’t be bothered to show up most days. 

Aegon is surprisingly awake and prattling about in the kitchen when Jace emerges. He holds up a mug. 

“Coffee?”

“I don’t have time for that,” Jace says with a huff. 

Aegon chuckles. “Gods. We just fucked and you’re already all tense again. You need to chill out, Nephew, or you’re going to age prematurely like Aemond.” 

The mention of his other uncle makes Jace’s stomach churn unpleasantly. He attributes fifteen percent of his stress to that man (in truth, it’s probably a higher number, but he doesn’t want to give Aemond too much credit). Aemond is constantly challenging Jace in meetings and undermining him in front of their subordinates. Jace knows Aemond thinks he’s better suited to be the heir than him. Aemond thinks he’s smarter than Jace, more creative, more capable. He thinks that it’s unfair that Jace is the heir to the company when he works harder and is so much more competent. 

The one thing he can concede is the fact that Jace is more likeable than him. Jace gets along with everyone, stakeholders and peers and subordinates. Everyone loves working with Jace, and Aemond thinks that’s the only thing that gives Jace an edge over him, which he thinks is so unfair because he’s so much better at everything else. 

Aemond is delusional is what it is. Jace has brought in twice as much profit as Aemond has this year, and Aemond is still reducing it to just because people like him instead of admitting that maybe, just maybe, Jace does have what it takes to run Targaryen Co. 

Jace doesn’t care what Aemond thinks about him, not really. But it’s unsettling and stressful when he knows that Aemond is watching him so carefully and waiting to pounce the moment he makes a tiny mistake. He can’t afford to slip up, not even once. 

Jace walks into the kitchen and opens a drawer, looking for a cup to drink some water and frowns when he sees a packet of colourful pills. He pulls it out and holds it up for Aegon to see. Aegon’s face pales, and that confirms Jace’s suspicion of what they are. 

“What the fuck, Aegon?”

“I haven’t taken any!” Aegon says. “I swear I haven’t taken a single pill ever since you found me in that club and put me in rehab. I just- I don’t- I can’t throw it away.” 

Jace sighs and looks upwards, praying for patience. “I’m going to flush it down the toilet, and you’re not going to stop me,” he announces.

Aegon nods and trudges after Jace. True to his word, he doesn’t fight Jace on it, although he watches the swirling water mournfully. He follows Jace to the door like a lost puppy, and Jace wishes he could be more sympathetic, but he’s always low on charity during the holiday seasons, ironic as it is. 

“I’ll see you at the fundraiser I guess,” Aegon says. 

“Yeah,” Jace says flippantly. 

The annual Dance of the Dragons Gala is the one public event where Aegon always makes an appearance. Alicent makes him go, of course. He wouldn’t be caught dead at such an event otherwise. 

Jace doesn’t interact with him at all during the event or at any family event for that matter. No one knows about their arrangement, and he’d like to keep it that way. He’s certain Aegon will say something incriminating if they were to ever speak to each other in the company of their family. 

“Are you going to spend the whole time pretending like I don’t exist again?” Aegon drawls. 

Jace doesn’t answer as he puts his boots on.

“Funny thing,” Aegon says, leaning against the wall in the hallway as he watches Jace put his coat on. “I saw an old friend of ours on the streets the other day.”

“Who?” Jace asks, more to entertain Aegon than out of a desire to know. 

“Cregan Stark.”

Jace’s ears start ringing, and Aegon starts to slant to the side. Jace shakes his head, wraps his scarf around his neck, and leaves without saying another word.

Twelve years ago

The ringing barely lasts a second before Cregan picks up. His smile fills the entire screen, and Jace misses him so badly his whole body aches. He wants nothing more than to curl up in Cregan’s lap and forget about the rest of the world. 

“Hey, baby, how are you?” Cregan asks. 

Jace leans back in his chair and smiles. “I’m good. How was your week, Creg?”

It’s been a year since Cregan’s moved back North to attend Winterfell University. He had many scholarship offers, all of them wanting the star quarterback of the Dragonstones on their roster, but only Winterfell offered him a full ride. Jace also knew that deep down Cregan wanted to return to the North and reconnect with his roots, so it was never a competition. The plan is that they would do long distance for a year, and Jace would join him at Winterfell after graduating high school.

Or was. 

That was the plan. 

Things have changed. 

Cregan doesn’t know yet. 

Jace has to break the news to him, and he wishes he doesn’t have to do it. 

He listens to Cregan share about his week and wishes that Cregan could just keep speaking forever. He wants to bottle this moment up in a snow globe and lock the both of them inside. 

“I can’t wait for you to come join me up here, Jace,” Cregan says, sounding so excited that Jace hates to have to burst his bubble. Like always, Cregan is quick to pick up on his mood. “What’s wrong? Did something happen with your family?”

“No,” Jace says, lying through his teeth. 

Cregan frowns like he knows Jace is lying, but there’s no way he knows that. 

“Then what is it?” Cregan asks, leaning closer to the monitor as if he could reach through the screen and hold Jace if he wants to. 

“I don’t think I can go to Winterfell University anymore,” Jace says quietly.

“What- What do you mean?”

“Red Keep has a better programme for me.”

“Right, okay.” Cregan releases a sigh noisily. “Okay, okay. So we do three more years of long distance. That’s not a big deal.” 

The pause that hangs between them is painful and awkward.

“Unless that’s not what you want…” Cregan says slowly. 

It’s better to just rip the bandaid off. “I think we should break up, Cregan,” Jace says, each word feeling like a stab to his heart, but it’s nothing compared to the way his heart is ripped to shreds when he sees the shocked and devastated look on Cregan’s face.

Cregan laughs, but it’s an anguished sound. “Jace. Baby. I- I don’t understand. I get that you want to stay in the South. I support that. I’ll support you in anything you want to do - you know that. Is it the long distance? Maybe- Well, maybe I could transfer-”

“No,” Jace says firmly, because the last thing he wants is for Cregan to give up everything he’s worked so hard for. 

“Well, alright. I can probably sign with the Black Dragons or something after-” 

“It’s not that,” Jace says, because he knows it’s Cregan’s dream to sign with the Direwolves, and he can’t make him give that up just to be with him. “It’s just- We don’t work anymore.”

“What are you talking about?” Cregan asks, distressed. “If I haven’t been calling or texting enough, I’ll step it up. I can visit more often too.”

Jace swallows his tears and continues as flippantly as he can. “It’s not that. Honestly, you call and text too much, Cregan.”

“I can stop then. I-”

“Look, high school was fun and all, but I’m entering university soon, and I need to focus.” Jace can see Cregan wanting to protest again, and so he drives the knife into Cregan’s heart. And his own as well. “I can’t have any distractions.” 

“Distractions?” Cregan echoes. His eyes are red-rimmed, and the tears that slide down his face are shards lodged in Jace’s heart, but Jace keeps his face impassive. “Am I a distraction? Is that what you're calling this? Four years and it doesn’t mean anything to you?” 

“It was puppy love, Cregan. We were young, and we had our fun. It’s time to grow up now.” 

“I don’t understand. I love you,” Cregan says, a desperate plea. In a softer voice, he says, “I thought you loved me too.” 

I do. I love you so much. I love you so much I can barely breathe when you’re not with me.

But that’s why I have to let you go.

You deserve so much more than me. 

I don’t deserve you. 

But Jace swallows back all his words and feelings and says, “Yeah I thought so too.” 

He sees the moment Cregan’s heart breaks - the way his eyes lose their sparkle, and his face collapses into grief. Jace wants to take everything back and apologise, but this is better for Cregan. 

“I’m sorry, Cregan. Goodbye,” Jace says. 

Then he ends the call. 

For a few seconds, he sits and stares at his screen. What he did hits him with the sudden force of a tsunami, and he gasps for breath as tears start pouring down his face. He draws his knees up to his chest and sobs heavily, resisting every urge in his body that demands he call Cregan back. 

His FaceTime starts ringing again, and he jumps. 

It’s Cregan calling him.

He wants so badly to pick up, but he can’t. 

For Cregan’s sake. 

He’s seen how happy Cregan has been at Winterfell this past year. His stories and posts on Instagram are always so cheerful. Cregan was worried about not fitting in in the North after being away for so long, but he’s always been affable and charismatic. People flock to him like bees to honey. He’s made a home for himself in the North and has found his community. Jace is now relying on those people to pick up the broken pieces of Cregan and put him back together. 

It’s because Jace knows that Cregan will be alright without him that he’s breaking up with him. 

Because it’s always been Jace who has needed Cregan to survive and not the other way around. 

And it’s become increasingly clear to Jace that he’s the only thing holding Cregan back. He’s cancelled the past two trips to the North because of family affairs, and despite Cregan doing his best to pretend that it doesn’t bother him, Jace can tell how disappointed he is. Every time Cregan is happy, Jace is there to rain on his parade. He’s done that all through high school, he’s still doing it now, and he doesn’t want to do it anymore. 

Jace loves Cregan too much to shackle him to him. 

He needs to set Cregan free, no matter what it costs him. 

Cregan keeps calling him, but Jace doesn’t pick up at all. Eventually, Cregan’s attempts stop, and Jace pats his face dry. He washes his face and makes sure he looks presentable before making his way to Rhaenyra’s bedroom. 

Daemon’s fucked off somewhere again, probably hunting in the woods or out on his yacht. Wherever it is that he doesn’t have to deal with his family. 

It’s a recurring trait in all of Rhaenyra’s partners, but Jace doesn’t let himself think about that for too long, or the bitterness will consume him whole and he’ll have nothing left to give. 

And who’s going to take care of their family then? 

The door to Rhaenyra’s bedroom is ajar, just as Jace left it when he checked in on her this morning. Elinda stands outside, a worried look on her face. 

“I tried asking her to eat, but she didn’t even respond,” Elinda says, twisting her hands in her dress. “It’s like she didn’t even realise I was there.”

Jace nods and thanks Elinda for her help. 

“I’ll try talking to her. Can you make something light for her to eat?” 

Jace pushes open the door, but Rhaenyra doesn’t even notice the squeak of the hinges. He walks across the carpeted floor and sees Rhaenyra lying on her side, staring at the wall, in the same position as this morning and last night. And the night before. She probably hasn’t moved at all. He kneels down next to her and smiles. 

“Mom?” 

She blinks a few times, and Jace waits until she slowly recognises his presence. She opens her mouth, but no sound comes out. 

“I decided that I’ll go to Red Keep after all,” Jace says. Some light returns to Rhaenyra’s eyes, and she blinks a bit more rapidly, looking at him as if finally seeing him. “I won’t go North. I’ll stay here with you.” 

“Really?” Rhaenyra rasps. 

“Yes, of course,” Jace says, smiling so wide it feels like his face is going to be torn into two, but he keeps smiling. 

Rhaenyra slowly sits up, and Jace helps her. She reaches for him, and he hugs her tightly. 

“Oh, Jace, my sweet boy. Thank the Gods. I don’t know what I’d do if I lost you too.” 

“You won’t lose me, Mom,” Jace promises, hugging her even tighter. “You won’t. But can you eat something? For me?”

Rhaenyra turns green at the mention of food, but she nods. Elinda enters soon after with some small sandwiches and a cup of tea. Rhaenyra only manages to take two pieces down, but she finishes the tea, and that’s good enough. 

Jace tucks her back into bed and quietly exits the room. 

It’s a small step, but it’s progress.

He makes his way to the nursery after. A layer of dust has gathered on the surface, but it still looks pristine and new except for the ripped wallpaper which looks like a bear had taken to it. 

Rhaenyra used to come in here and clean every day the first month after the miscarriage. Daemon let her, because he’s useless, and Jace let her, because he had thought his mother was using that time to process her grief. He hadn’t realised that she was deluding herself into believing that she was still on track to deliver a healthy baby girl. When the time came, and there was no baby, Rhaenyra became so agitated that she ripped the wallpapers off with her bare hands. 

Aegon was the one who had found her, and Jace had found them shortly after, Rhaenyra still manic in her grief and Aegon frightened beyond his wits. He had bundled Aegon up in his arms and taken him to his room, promising to return. Then he had returned to stop his mother from completely destroying the wall and her fingers. 

He had brought her back to her room (Daemon once again nowhere to be found) and wiped the blood from under her fingernails before asking Elinda to give her a bath. Then he had rushed back to Aegon’s bedroom to wipe his tears away and assure him that everything was going to be okay. He stayed with Aegon for the rest of the day and slept with him for a week straight until Aegon felt better. 

“Is mommy going to be okay?” Aegon asks, peering up at Jace with wide, scared eyes.

“Of course she is,” Jace says, kissing the top of Aegon’s little head. “I’ll make sure she is.”

Aegon wraps his arm around Jace and snuggles into his chest. “Thanks for coming for me, Jace. Neither mommy nor daddy does these days.”

Jace’s heart clenches, and he holds his precious younger brother close to him. “I’ll always be there for you, Aegon.”

“I know. You never lie, unlike the other adults.” 

Neither Rhaenyra nor Aegon has been back to the nursery since. Jace wants to strip it bare and destroy all reminders of the girl who stalks his mother’s dreams and nightmares. 

But it isn’t his place to do so. 

“Mr. Jacaerys?” Elinda calls from behind. 

“Lock this room up, Elinda,” Jace says. “And keep the keys with you.” 

“Yes, sir. There’s a call waiting for you downstairs.”

Jace suppresses a sigh and nods. He heads down the stairs and into the living room where their butler is waiting with the phone. 

“It’s the hospital, Mr. Jacaerys,” Lyman says. 

“Thank you, Lymand,” Jace says, then picks up the phone. “Jacaerys Velaryon-Targaryen speaking.” 

“Mr. Velaryon-Targaryen, this is Doctor Mellos. I was hoping to give your mother more updates about your grandfather’s condition, but I understand that neither she nor Mr. Daemon Targaryen is available at the moment and that you are the next most appropriate person to contact. Now about Mr. Viserys Targaryen, I’m afraid that his condition is worsening…”

Present day

When Jace turns the corner of Aegon’s streets, he thinks he sees Cregan, but the man turns around, and it’s just a stranger. 

Jace shakes his head. Aegon’s just messing with him; he has to be. Cregan’s in the North, playing for the Direwolves, or at least Jace is convinced that he is. He’s not searched Cregan up once all these years, and he never will, too scared of what he’ll find. 

He turns into the main street, and it’s that time of the year again where everyone seems to be coupled up and extra lovey-dovey. Jace can’t turn one corner without seeing people sucking faces, and the couple right in front of him in the line at his favourite coffee shop can’t exchange two words without also exchanging saliva. 

By the time it’s Jace’s turn, he’s almost out of patience. He snaps his order and feels bad for the poor barista who’s obviously just a college student trying to make ends meet; he doesn’t deserve to be the victim of Jace’s misplaced wrath. 

“Sorry,” Jace says when he passes him on the way out later. 

“It’s alright, sir. I understand. It must be hard being alone during this time of the year.”

Jace is stunned and offended as hell. How dare that minimum wage lowlife talk to him like that? What makes it even more annoying is the genuine look of pity on his face! He isn’t even trying to get back at Jace; he’s just sincerely sympathetic to Jace’s plight! 

Which makes it all the worse. 

What the actual fuck. 

Jace stalks out of the coffee shop, muttering curses under his breath. Why the fuck would he assume that Jace is single? How could he have known that Jace is single? It’s so not obvious that Jace is single. And even if he is single, which, yes, he’s single, but he’s single by choice! Contrary to popular belief, Addam did not dump him! Yes, Addam brought it up, but they talked about it like adults and mutually agreed it was better for them both to go their separate ways! More importantly -

Why the fuck are people still bringing Addam up when they broke up three years ago! 

The walk back to the office helps Jace to calm down significantly, but it is just his luck that the elevator stops on the twelfth floor, and the doors open to reveal Aemond of all people. He looks at Jace and grimaces as if he’s smelled something foul before entering the elevator. 

“Long lunch?” he asks. 

“Not really,” Jace replies. 

“You went out at eleven forty-five. It’s now almost one thirty.”

Jace gasps indignantly. “Are you stalking me?”

Aemond looks at him coldly. “I just think you shouldn’t be running personal errands on company time.”

“Yet I’m still more productive than you,” Jace shoots back. 

Aemond’s jaw ticks. “Your luck will run out soon enough.”

The elevator doors open on Jace’s floor, and he says, “It’s not luck, Aemond - I’m just better than you.”

Then he walks past him and doesn’t look back. 

Maybe he shouldn’t have been so rude to Aemond in the elevator, because Aemond is doing everything in his power to make this meeting the worst event of the year. He refutes every point Jace makes, interrupts him before he can finish his explanations, and is now questioning his ability to lead in front of all the department heads. 

Jace is a very patient man - it’s a point of pride, really - but he can only take so much. 

Somehow, somehow , he manages to keep his cool and even manages to remain professional and polite to Aemond, something which only serves to piss Aemond off further of course. That asshole only wishes he has half of Jace’s self-control. 

And Aemond must have been plotting this for a long time, because he suddenly brings up the one topic Jace is sensitive about. 

He tosses a folder onto the table. 

“The restoration of the Wall,” he says. “Why are we doing that? It’s not profitable.” 

“It’s an important cultural heritage,” Jace says. “It is part of our responsibility to ensure that such sites are protected.” 

The Targaryens have a finger in every pie. Nothing happens in the country without their knowledge or say so. They were once monarchs of Westeros and even though they’ve since privatised, they still hold significant political sway. 

But with all that power comes responsibility that Jace takes very seriously. 

“There are other sites that would benefit us more - Dragonstone Castle, Harrenhal, the Twins, all of which will generate more profit from tourism than some obscure relic so far North. You do realise it’s freezing there - hardly what anyone would consider holiday weather.”

“Your thinking is short-sighted,” Jace says dismissively. “People are fascinated by the exotic, and the fact that it’s so far away only makes it more appealing. More importantly, restoring the Wall is essential in revitalising the North, which is a key agenda of our government, in case you haven’t been paying attention to recent political news.”

Aemond narrows his eyes at Jace, and Jace half-heartedly wishes he would climb across the table and punch him. At least that way he’d have an excuse to file that restraining order he has been wanting to for a while now. Oh, and he gets to suspend Aemond from work too.

Instead, Aemond says, “I’m just afraid that you’re letting your personal feelings cloud your judgment.”

Jace’s heart pounds furiously in his chest, and now he’s the one who has to control himself so that Aemond doesn’t get to file the restraining order that he has been wanting to file for a long time now too. He swallows thickly and says, “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“The Wall was built by the once illustrious Stark Family, wasn’t it?”

“And?”

“And you were friendly with a certain Cregan Stark back in high school.”

Jace cannot believe that that worthless piece of shit is bringing his personal life into this. He wants to rip Aemond’s tongue out of his blasphemous mouth. 

But instead of shrieking “Keep my man’s name out of your mouth!” like he really wants to, Jace takes several deep breaths instead. 

Because the department heads are frowning now, and some of them are looking at Jace with skepticism and reevaluating his decision-making capabilities once again. It doesn’t seem to matter how many times he’s proven himself; they will always be looking for him to fail. 

Why? Just because he’s the love child of his parents? This isn’t the fucking eighteenth century, and Laenor has steadfastly upheld that he’s Jace’s biological father, but there are always rumours swirling around, and Jace has no doubt that Aemond is responsible for exacerbating them in the office. Still, Jace doesn’t see why it matters in this day and age except that it still does for some fucking reason. 

He’s turned in profits 20% higher than his targets every single year and has outperformed Aemond in every metric possible. Yet there are still those who believe Aemond to be more capable than him and that Aemond should be the one to eventually take the helm of Targaryen Co just because he looks more Valyrian and will be more appropriate as the face of their company.

What the fuck. It is also so incredibly disrespectful to people like Rhaenys, who, for the record, also has dark hair. 

Well, either way, it’s just too fucking bad that Rhaenyra is going to hand the reins over to Jace then, isn’t it? 

“It’s a good investment, that’s all,” Jace says coolly, but he can see the seeds of doubt that Aemond planted growing in the department heads. 

He smiles instead of clenching his teeth and points out every single benefit restoring the Wall would bring not only to Targaryen Co., including ingratiating themselves with both the government and local leaders of the North, but also to the country as a whole. The department heads are nodding in approval by the time he’s done explaining, but why the fuck did he even have to spend such a long time convincing them in the first place? They have eyes and can read the proposal by themselves, or they could also just fucking trust his impeccable judgment. 

“Now then,” he says, smiling widely and hoping Aemond knows he’s wishing death upon him. ‘Shall we move on to the next topic?”

Jace is mad. He’s so mad he can barely fucking breathe. Yes, he chose the Wall out of every other option because of Cregan. Because the Starks built it and their name used to mean something once, and Jace would like to return some of that glory to them. So what? So fucking what? He’s done more than enough for the company, for his fucking family, to be able to do whatever the fuck he wants. Not to mention his plan is actually good! 

But Jace doesn’t let even a glimpse of anger break through his professional mien until he’s back inside his office. 

Once the door is firmly shut behind him, he lets out a long, loud scream. Never before has he wanted to throw something at the wall. 

Someone knocks on his door before he can give in to his baser impulses. 

“What?” he snaps when his assistant, Oscar, pokes his head in. 

Oscar stammers, clearly sensing his bad mood. “I just- have you- the order form for the flowers has to go out today.”

Jace snatches the piece of paper off his desk and hands it to Oscar. His assistant looks down and frowns. 

“Uh, Jace-”

“What?”

“Nothing. Never mind. Good day.”

Oscar closes the door. 

Jace allows himself to scream one more time, then he crams his feelings into a little, tiny box. 

He has work to do.

Fifteen Years Ago

They meet on Jace’s first day of high school. 

The school is large and confusing as hell. Jace is peering at the map and trying to find out where exactly his homeroom is when a man crashes into his back. He stumbles, and thankfully, he’s always had fast reflexes and shoots out a hand to stop from colliding face first into the wall. 

“Watch where you’re throwing the ball, dipshit!” a voice says from behind him. 

Jace turns around to see the other boy tossing a football back to the players. It hits one of them in the face, and he groans, clutching his face.

“Oh shit!” the boy says, cringing. “Sorry, man!” 

He turns around, and his eyes take on an interested gleam when he sees Jace. He lifts an arm and braces himself against the wall, except he misjudges the space and almost loses his footing. He finds it quickly and places his arm on the wall, acting as if nothing had happened. 

“Hey, the name’s Cregan,” he says in a voice that he’s no doubt practised in the bathroom before. The knowledge does nothing to quell the butterflies in Jace’s stomach. Cregan is the hottest person that he has ever seen. “You’re real pretty.” 

Jace leans against the wall and sighs. “You’re real dumb.” 

Cregan grins like Jace has just given him the highest compliment. He points out where Jace’s homeroom is and walks him there. He then casually shows up outside Jace’s mathematics class at lunchtime so they can eat together. Jace is convinced that he’s a loser with no friends, but he still gives Cregan his number when he asks for it. By the end of the day, they’re making out at the back of the school. 

It’s only on the second day that Jace finds out that not only is Cregan not a loser but that he’s the quarterback of the school’s prestigious football team - the Dragonstones - despite only being in his second year. He’s insanely popular, all the cheerleaders want to date and/or fuck him, and he’s smart too. 

But they’re already dating by then so Jace doesn’t really care about the dagger-like glares that are thrown his way when he walks down the hallway hand in hand with Cregan. If anything, it only gives him the impetus to push Cregan against the lockers and kiss him.

Present Day

Sevenmas is the one time of the year where the whole family gathers. Jace remembers looking forward to this day most eagerly when he was younger. It’s the only time he gets to see Laenor and Harwin again, and they always bring the best presents with them. 

He still feels happy to see them. 

Deep down. 

Somewhere.

Beneath the mountain of things he has to take care of. 

A mountain of things which only becomes bigger with their presence. 

It’s fine.

He misses them. 

“Hi, Dad, Qarl,” Jace says, hugging Laenor and his husband. 

“How’s my firstborn doing?” Harwin asks, grinning widely and opening his arms wide. 

“Hi, Daddy,” Jace greets, stepping into Harwin’s embrace. 

Daemon walks into the foyer at that moment, and the mood in the air immediately shifts. He scoffs when he sees who it is, and it’s wholly unnecessary, because he already knows that Laenor and Harwin are arriving today, as they do on the weekend before Sevenmas every single year. 

Laenor’s hackles rise immediately, and Jace doesn’t blame him - Daemon divorced his sister to marry his ex-wife after all. But before Laenor can say anything, which then almost always devolves into a fight between all three men (sometimes Qarl joins in too), Jace smiles brightly at Daemon and speaks.  

“Good morning, Daemon,” he says. He used to flinch when he was younger and Daemon turned those unamused eyes on him, but he barely registers them now. Daemon is just someone who lives in the same house as him whom he has to deal with. “Joffrey’s trying to set up the tent in the backyard. Could you help him?”

“Yeah,” Daemon says, because unlike Jace and Luke, he actually sees Joffrey as one of his own, probably because he got to raise him from birth.  

Daemon walks past them without giving them another glance. Crisis averted, Jace turns back to his fathers and beams at them. 

“Elinda’s prepared brunch. You must be hungry! Shall we eat?” 

After spending two hours catching up with his fathers on their lives, Jace is ready to return to work. Unfortunately, just before he can excuse himself, Daemon and Joffrey enter the dining room, laughing and chattering. 

“That was sick, Dad,” Joffrey says. 

Jace wants to slam his head against the table when both Harwin and Laenor look like they’ve been stabbed. 

Joffrey has been calling Daemon ‘dad’ for years, but he’s been careful to not do so whenever Harwin and Laenor are around, because Jace spent several hours explaining to him why it would make them sad. He must have forgotten whatever Jace has said this year or he must have stopped caring, because he nods at them and says, “Hey, Harwin, Laenor, Qarl. Didn’t realise you were already here.” 

Jace’s heart drops into his stomach. Since when did Joffrey start referring to them by their names? 

Harwin smiles tightly. “Hey, Joffrey. It’s good to see you again.”

Laenor’s hand clenches, and Qarl places a hand over it. When Laenor doesn’t say anything, Qarl says, “We got some souvenirs for you. We’ll give it to you later.”

“Great, thanks,” Joffrey says, then he turns back to Daemon. “So can we go get it today?”

“Why not? I’ll just let your mother know.”

Daemon slings an arm around Joffrey, and they exit the dining room, their laughter ringing behind them. 

“Dad, huh,” Laenor grouses.

“He doesn’t mean it,” Jace says instinctively. It sounds stupid the moment it leaves his mouth, because obviously Joffrey means it. If he didn’t mean it, he wouldn’t call Daemon ‘dad’. 

But at the same time, he also feels really irritated at both Laenor and Harwin. Because why the fuck would Joffrey see them as his fathers when it was Daemon who raised him? And Jace may have a myriad of issues with Daemon, but he did step up with Joffrey. 

Eventually. 

Harwin smiles at him sadly. “At least we still have you and Luke,” he says with forced cheeriness.

Jace laughs along, suddenly finding it so fucking hard to breathe, but he forces the air through his nose and commands himself to relax. He has so many fucking things to do - the fundraiser is tomorrow - but he spends an extra hour with his fathers and Qarl, making sure their hurt feelings are soothed before going to the venue.

Fourteen years ago

Cregan gets into some beef with the captain of the ice hockey team. Jace doesn’t remember the details, only that it was stupid and probably induced by testosterones. Sometimes Jace worries about his gender. 

But no matter how ridiculous the fight is, Cregan’s feelings are always valid, so he takes his baby’s head in his hands and kisses his frustrations away. 

“He’s not worth your time and energy, Creg,” Jace says. 

“He’s a fucking idiot,” Cregan complains, but he’s not as angry as he was when he came storming into the debate room an hour ago.

Jace is constantly amazed that Cregan can keep up with his busy schedule and knows where he is at all times. The ice skating rink on Mondays, the classrooms where he’s tutoring the weaker students on Tuesdays (though Cregan knows better than to bother him during these sessions), the debate room on Wednesdays, the reproductive health clinic he volunteers at on Thursdays (Cregan comes so often when it’s off season that he might as well be a volunteer too; he’s certainly giving Jace’s popularity a run for its money), and the animal shelter on Fridays. 

He was the one who convinced Jace to get the orange cat with the clipped ear after noticing Jace looking at her affectionately for weeks, and he even brainstormed names with him until they landed on Vermax. Daemon wasn’t happy when Jace came home that day with an armful of grumpy feline, especially when Vermax scratched him, leaving a bloody line down his arm. 

Rhaenyra tried to get him to return Vermax, no doubt at the behest of Daemon, but Jace stood his ground, and Rhaenyra eventually relented when she realised that Jace wasn’t going to budge. It is the only time he has ever defied her openly. Daemon constantly shoots glare at Vermax, but the hate is reciprocated, and Jace knows that Daemon is around whenever Vermax starts hissing. 

Cregan buries his face in Jace’s neck and sighs heavily. “Thanks for listening to me, baby.”

“Of course,” Jace says. He gently pushes Cregan off him and starts gathering his papers and packing them. He holds a hand out for Cregan to take. “Want to go to Manderly’s?” 

Cregan takes his hand and frowns. “Don’t you have your debate to prep for?” 

“I can do that after we get some ice cream,” Jace says. Nothing cheers Cregan up more than ice cream, especially Manderly’s, which have the Northern flavours that Cregan grew up eating before his family moved down South. It’s unbearably adorable, and the way he was so embarrassed the first time he asked Jace if they could go get ice cream after having a bad day only endeared him more to Jace. 

The next day, Lyonel Hightower, captain of the ice hockey team shoulder checks Jace in the hallway. Jace doesn’t give a shit and goes on with his day, but Lyonel isn’t happy about that. He bumps into Jace more deliberately, causing Jace to drop his books onto the floor. Jace sighs and bends time to collect his things, not even acknowledging Lyonel, because once again, he doesn’t give a shit. He stands up, and Lyonel grabs his ass, squeezing it roughly. 

That, Jace cares about. 

He spins around furiously, but before he can say anything, Cregan storms past him and punches Lyonel in the face, sending the ice hockey captain sprawling across the ground. Cregan gets on him and continues beating his face in. Lyonel manages to flip them over and throws in a few punches of his own. 

“Cregan, stop!” Jace yells, but Cregan either doesn’t hear him or doesn’t care. It doesn’t help that a crowd has formed around them, chanting “fight, fight, fight”. 

The football and ice hockey guys try to pull them apart, but it quickly devolves into an all out brawl between the two teams when Roderick accidentally elbows someone from the ice hockey team. 

Jace folds his arms and scowls at the tangled mess of limbs. It takes the disciplinary master and the coaches of both teams to stop the fight, and they are all sent to the principal's office. 

Jace gets ahead of them and lets himself in, explaining the situation to the principal, who believes him immediately of course. Jace is a model student who never lies even if it looks like he’s just defending his boyfriend. He does try to get Cregan off the hook, but Ms. Mysaria is firm on punishing all of those involved in the fight. When she finds out that Cregan threw the first punch, she gives both him and Lyonel a suspension. 

“He was just protecting me!” Jace cries. This is going to affect Cregan’s scholarship applications! 

“It’s alright, babe,” Cregan says, but he hangs his head and doesn’t look up.

“But-”

“He needs to answer for his actions, Mr. Velaryon,” Ms. Mysaria says. “End of discussion.”

Outside her office, Jace stands on his tiptoes and cups Cregan’s face, kissing him. “I won’t let her suspend you,” he says. 

Cregan smiles at him sadly. “There’s nothing you can do, Jace.”

But there is. 

That night, Jace goes to Rhaenyra and asks her to make the suspension go away. Daemon overhears and suggests that Jace makes an exchange for it. Namely, he wants Vermax gone. 

“Mom!” Jace protests. 

Rhaenyra frowns, looking between her husband and child, and Jace cannot believe that she’s even hesitating. 

“Darling,” she starts, but Jace has already heard enough. She’s using the tone she uses when she thinks someone’s being unreasonable and wants them to see reason. She’s never used it with him before, because he’s always done as she wants. He can’t believe that the one time he’s asking her for help is when she decides to use it with him. 

“Forget it,” he snaps, regretting that he even thought about asking her for help. 

He returns to his room, ignoring Rhaenyra calling his name and Daemon’s complaints about his unruly behaviour. He dials Viserys’ number furiously and explains the situation to his grandfather as calmly as he can with tears streaming down his face. 

“Of course, my boy,” Viserys says, no questions asked. He doesn’t even seem to care that the person on the other side of this is a Hightower. 

“Thank you, Grandpa,” Jace says gratefully. 

“Go dry your tears and let Grandpa take care of this for you. No one assaults my grandson and gets away with it.” 

The next day, Cregan is called to Ms. Mysaria’s office, and she tells him he’s not going to be suspended. Lyonel’s punishment remains the same, and Jace can only imagine the argument between Viserys and Alicent for that. He feels a flood of affection for his grandfather. 

Ms. Mysaria gives Jace a calculating look when she sees waiting in the hallway after exiting her office with Cregan in tow but doesn’t say anything. 

Cregan’s shell-shocked and quiet while Jace leads them to the bleachers by the football field. Missing homeroom for a day isn’t going to affect Jace, and Cregan was called to the principal’s office, so he’s covered too. 

Cregan sits down and pulls Jace onto his lap. 

“How did you do that?” he asks. 

“I’m a Velaryon,” Jace says. 

Cregan hums. “I didn’t know Velaryons have so much power. Guess I need to watch my back,” he jokes. 

“You do,” Jace returns, and they laugh, but Cregan can clearly sense that there is something wrong, and their humour fades quickly. 

“What’s wrong, baby?” he asks. 

Jace sighs and leans against Cregan’s chest. A few moments pass in silence until Jace finally finds the courage to say in a quiet voice, “I’m a Targaryen too.”

He feels Cregan stiffen beneath him and hopes he isn’t making a mistake revealing the other side of his identity. He doesn’t want Cregan to break up with him, but he would understand if he does. The name comes with too many strings attached, and it’s normal that people wouldn’t want to deal with all of that. It’s why he hadn’t told Cregan about it before.  

“Wow,” Cregan finally breathes out. “I don’t really know what to say. I mean - so Jace Velaryon isn’t your real name?” 

“It’s Jacaerys Velaryon-Targaryen,” Jace says, turning in Cregan’s lap to look at his face. “I asked to be enrolled as Jace Velaryon because I didn’t want people judging me based on my name. It’s why I came here too instead of Conqueror Academy.” 

“Jacaerys,” Cregan repeats, and the sound of his name falling from Cregan’s lips makes Jace’s toes curl. 

“Yeah,” he says, suppressing a shiver. 

Cregan smiles and kisses him. “I love you, Jacaerys Velaryon-Targaryen.”

Jace’s heart skips a beat, and his face flushes with happiness. “You do?” 

“Yeah,” Cregan says softly but firmly. “I do. I love you.”

“I love you too,” Jace says. “Gods.” He kisses Cregan. “I love you so much.” 

He loves Cregan so much he could explode from how much he’s feeling. He has never thought it was possible to have such strong feelings for someone. 

“Me too, Jacaerys. Me too.”

Present day 

Jace spends the rest of the day at the Red Queen Hotel, the location for the Dance of the Dragons Gala. It is, of course, a Targaryen property, and the CEO is Rhaenys Targaryen, Jace’s grandmother. She greets him with a hug at the entrance of the grandest ballroom, Meleys. 

“This year’s fundraiser is shaping up to be another great one,” she says. “Good job, Jace.”

“Thanks, Grammy,” Jace says with a smile, but he doesn’t feel the same pride and satisfaction that he did when he started taking charge of the event all those years ago. Perfect is now the baseline, so it doesn’t mean anything when he achieves it.  

He runs through the programme with Rhaenys and the event planners, checks the guest list and the menu, and goes through the security measures with the security team. Most of the decorations have been put up already, but the flowers are arriving the next day, because they need to be fresh. Jace will come early the next morning to ensure they’re set up properly, and-

“Jace,” Aemond says, walking over to him with a scowl on his face. “What the fuck is this?”

Jace glances down at the piece of paper Aemond thrusts at him and rolls his eyes; he does not have time for this. “It’s the order sheet for the flowers, Aemond. Can’t you read?”

“Can’t you?” Aemond shoots back.

Jace snatches the paper from Aemond, and his heart stops when he reads the descriptions. He reads it over and over again, certain that it’s a mistake, but it’s not. Every single order is missing a zero. 

What the fuck. 

“You fucked up,” Aemond says, helpful as ever. 

“Alfred,” Jace snaps when he sees the accounting manager. He holds the paper up. “Did you approve this?” 

Alfred plucks the paper from him and says dryly, “Yes. Your assistant submitted it, and there’s your signature on it.” He points at Jace’s signature, which Jace obviously recognises, thank you very much. “See.”

“Did you not think that there was something wrong with the numbers?” Jace asks, trying his best not to yell into the man’s incompetent face. “Did you not think that maybe we needed thousands and not hundreds of flowers?”

Alfred shrugs. “You signed it - it’s your problem.”

Jace could strangle the man, he really could. He’s about to, but Aemond grabs his arm roughly and sends Alfred away. 

“He’s right,” Aemond says. “You were the one who was supposed to check it. He just followed your orders. You’re the one who fucked it, so fix it.” 

Jace feels so wronged. This is so unfair! Tears prickle at the corners of his eyes, but he resists the urge to start bawling in the middle of the ballroom and throw a tantrum, even though he’s entirely justified to one! He refuses to cry in front of all these people and most certainly not fucking Aemond! He grits his teeth and turns around, storming away. 

He will fix it. Of course he will. He’ll fix it, like he has to fix every single fucking thing in this stupid, useless family. Seven forbid that anyone else pick up the slack for a change. There are so many steps between Jace signing the order form and the order actually going out. His assistant could have caught the error, Alfred’s subordinates and even Alfred’s assistant could have done it, but no. If he misses one thing, he has to take all the responsibility for it despite all the fail safes that are put in place. Because it’s his fault. Everything is always his fucking fault.

Jace walks out of the ballroom as calmly as he can. Once he’s outside and he’s made sure there’s no one around, he practically sprints to the bathroom. He locks the door behind him and breaks down. He wraps his arms around himself and closes his eyes, stifling his sobs in case someone else comes in and hears him. 

He wants Cregan. 

It’s been more than ten years since he’s last spoken to the man, and he’s had many relationships since then, but every time things become too much, he finds that the only thing he wants is Cregan. 

He’s pulling out his phone before he even registers what he’s doing. As he’s done countless times in the past before, he stares down at Cregan’s contact. It’s still ‘ ñuha raqiarzy ’, my beloved, as it has always been. One of his exes - he can’t even remember who now - knows High Valyrian and broke up with Jace when Jace couldn’t explain why he still had his first boyfriend’s contact saved as something so intimate.

As he’s done countless times in the past before, he closes the contact, wipes his tears, and gets back to work.

Fourteen years ago

Cregan makes captain of the football team in his third year. It’s unheard of, but he’s so good at what he does that no one, not even any of the seniors, complains about it. That year, the Dragonstones wins the championship, breaking the decade-long “silver curse” of always being stuck in second place. 

Jace cheers the loudest when Cregan scores the winning goal. When the game is over, he drops his sign, and runs onto the field, right into Cregan’s waiting arms. He jumps up, wrapping his legs around Cregan’s waist, and Cregan kisses him soundly on the lips in front of everybody. They probably would have started making out right there if Cregan’s teammates hadn’t interrupted them to toss him into the air, chanting his name loudly. 

Later, they head to their usual hangout spot, a restaurant chain called ‘Duskendale’, to celebrate. On account of their victory, the manager announces that their orders for the night will be on the house. 

Jace piles into a booth with Cregan and his best friends on the team, Robard, Roderick, Torrhen and Medrick. He spends the entire dinner smiling up at Cregan proudly and listening to him and his teammates talk about their gameplay. They must have repeated how Cregan scored that last goal about a million times, but it’s cute, so Jace doesn’t mind. In all honesty, he doesn’t actually know what they’re talking about, nor does he particularly care, but Cregan’s more animated than he usually is, and Jace is just happy to be present for such an important moment in Cregan’s life. 

“I’m so happy you were here tonight, baby,” Cregan says later when they’re in the backseat of Cregan’s car, Jace in his lap as they make out furiously. 

“Of course, babe,” Jace says. “There’s nothing more important than your championship game.” 

“Gods, I love you,” Cregan says, claiming his lips again. 

Jace lets the kiss go on for a few moments before he pulls away and grabs his bag from the passenger seat. He rummages inside it and pulls out a bottle of lube and a pack of condoms. 

Cregan’s eyes darken, and he looks at Jace hungrily. “Are you sure, Jace?”

“I’ve never been more sure in my life,” Jace says, and it’s true. For once, he’s not weighing all the pros and cons of a single action before deciding whether to do it or not. With Cregan, everything feels right. 

Cregan’s patient while opening him up, kissing him, murmuring praises in his ears, and stroking his dick. It doesn’t take long for Cregan to insert one, then two, then three fingers into him. The stretch burns a little, but his desire for Cregan overrides any pain and discomfort. Jace thinks that if he were a girl, he’d be constantly wet for Cregan. 

Cregan reaches for the condoms, but Jace makes the split decision to stop him. 

“I want to feel you,” he whispers into Cregan’s ears, and Cregan groans, gripping Jace’s hips tight. 

Cregan starts to move, but Jace stills him with a hand to his shoulder. 

“You’ve already done so much tonight, big guy. Let me handle the rest,” he says.

“Jace,” Cregan whimpers, and it feels good to have such a strong, powerful man falling apart because of him. 

Jace wants to make Cregan feel as good. 

He reaches down and wraps his fingers around the familiar shape of Cregan’s cock. It’s so big and heavy in his hand, and he’s fantasised about having it in him for months now, especially whenever he’s sucking Cregan off. He kind of wants Cregan’s cock in his mouth now, but he focuses on the goal. 

He strokes Cregan a few times before he lifts his hips and holds Cregan’s cock still. He bites his lower lip when the tip breaches his entrance. Cregan is concerned immediately, but Jace assures him that he’s alright. Slowly, he sinks down onto Cregan’s cock and gasps sharply when the head enters him. Cregan holds him tightly so he doesn’t accidentally take too much in one go and only loosens his hold when Jace nods. Moans spill from his lips as he takes more and more of Cregan and Cregan’s girth stretches him wide open. 

When Cregan finally bottoms out, Jace feels impossibly full. It’s the most amazing feeling in the world, as is the way Cregan is staring at him as if he’s the only thing in the world. He kisses Cregan desperately, and Cregan meets him with the same impatience. 

“You feel so good,” Cregan mumbles against his lips.

Jace slowly lifts himself up before sinking down onto Cregan’s dick again. He does it a few more times before finding a rhythm and beginning to ride Cregan in earnest. Cregan is content to let him take control, his hands on Jace’s waist more to support him than to dictate the pace. 

After a while, Cregan begins to thrust up, and Jace chokes when Cregan hits a specific spot inside him, his rhythm faltering. He slumps against Cregan’s chest, more than happy to let Cregan take over, and Cregan wraps his arms around him, holding him tight as he thrusts up into Jace, sending tingles of pleasure running through Jace’s entire body. 

Cregan removes one of his hands from Jace to find Jace’s cock, and Jace gasps as Cregan begins to jerk him off in tandem with his thrust. It doesn’t take long for him to come, and as he squeezes around Cregan, he feels a warmth spilling inside him, and it makes him feel so full and complete. Cregan groans, his hips snapping up into Jace as he rides out his orgasm. 

Jace kisses Cregan deeply and slowly, feeling Cregan slip out of him when he softens. 

“When can you go again?” he asks.

Present day 

By some miracle, if miracle means Jace busting his ass calling in every favour he possibly can, Jace manages to get the flowers. All 21,078 of them. In the end, it’s not even one of his contacts that helps him get the flowers. 

It’s Aegon. 

Fucking Aegon. 

How - he doesn’t even want to know. 

“You’re welcome, Nephew,” Aegon says when he strolls into Meleys the morning of the gala, surprisingly early. He frowns when Jace doesn’t even acknowledge his presence. “Excuse you, I went to great lengths to procure these flowers. Do you know how hard it is to get so many flowers in one night?”

“Thanks,” Jace says insincerely. The audacity. Asking for gratitude when he’s only had to do one thing in his whole adult life. 

The flowers are being set up, and Jace is watching everyone like a hawk. He’s not going to accept anything less than perfect. He barks at a man who places a floral stand at a 50 degree angle of 45. 

Aegon touches his shoulder and squeezes it.

“Chill out, Jace. You’re going to frighten them.”

Jace shrugs his hand off roughly and turns around. “Keep your hands to yourself.”

Aegon raises both hands up in defence, and despite the wry grin on his face, Jace can see the concern lurking beneath it. He doesn’t want to hear anything Aegon has to say, so he storms off to check the entrance of the hotel. 

Things must be perfect. 

As per tradition, the family gathers two hours before the gala starts. Viserys looks frailer than ever when Alicent pushes him into the ballroom on his wheelchair, but at least he’s still of sound mind. Honestly, Jace is just glad that his grandfather is still around when they thought they were going to lose him twelve years ago. It’s in large part thanks to Alicent taking such good care of him, something that Rhaenyra and Jace (and even Daemon) can begrudgingly admit despite their dislike for his second wife. 

“It’s good to see you, Grandpa,” Jace says, greeting Viserys. 

“You too, Jace,” Viserys says, beaming proudly as he looks around the venue. “You’ve outdone yourself again. Simply splendid, my boy.” 

“Thank you.” 

“It’s beautiful, Jacaerys,” Alicent says stiffly. “I’m sure Aemond’s helped you a lot.”

“Aegon more than Aemond,” Jace says flippantly, feeling vindicated at the shocked look that crosses Alicent’s face. 

He doesn’t stay around to explain and excuses himself to greet his parents (all three of them!), Qarl, and Daemon. 

“This is most magnificent, darling,” Rhaenyra says, drawing him into her arms. She leans in to kiss him on the cheek then pulls away when she remembers the lipstick on her lips and pats his hair gently instead, making sure not to mess it up. 

“You have your opening speech?” Jace asks.

Rhaenyra nods. “Of course, darling.” 

“Absolutely stunning,” Laenor praises while Harwin and Qarl nod in agreement. 

“Thank you,” Jace says. “Grandpa’s already arrived.” 

He leads them to where Viserys is admiring the stage at the front of the ballroom. 

“Jace!” 

Jace looks over, and the first, true smile appears on his face when he sees Luke. 

“Luke!” he exclaims, running over to give his brother a big hug. “Damn, did you get taller?” 

It’s an old joke. They’ve both stopped growing a long time ago, but Luke used to make fun of Jace for being shorter than him. All in good fun, of course.

Luke laughs. “No, but I certainly got more tanned. Consequences of living on Driftmark, I guess.”

Jace smiles, cupping Luke’s cheek. “You look happy. I’m glad.”

“It’s all thanks to you, Jace,” Luke says, always grateful and remembering to thank Jace for helping him move to Driftmark to live with Corlys all those years ago. 

“You don’t need to keep thanking me, Luke,” Jace says.

“Someone has to,” Luke says, and Jace suddenly feels all choked up. “And that’s the only thing I know how to do. I don’t know how else to help you.”

“You don’t have to,” Jace assures him. “You being happy and healthy is all I want, Luke.” 

They hug again before joining the rest of their family in gathering around Viserys so the man can give his annual speech. He looks around at everyone with a pleased smile on his face. 

“It warms my heart to once more see all members of our family gathered together in one place for an event that means much to all of us,” Viserys says. He beams at Jace. “And, of course, I’m eternally grateful to have my grandson, Jacaerys, set it up so beautifully as always. I have no doubt the evening will be one of merriment and joy. You’ve once again exceeded my expectations, my boy.” 

“Thank you, Grandpa,” Jace says. He tunes out the rest of the speech - it’s the same thing every year, Viserys being grateful to still be around to see the family thriving and united, stronger than ever. 

Jace hates listening to this part, because Viserys doesn’t know how close the family came to tearing themselves apart when he had almost died twelve years ago. Otto was ready to challenge his will when Viserys slipped into a coma; if Alicent hadn’t insisted on not pulling the plug, Viserys would be gone, and who knows where the family would be now? 

Jace was the one who helped to tide them through it, because Rhaenyra and Daemon were both indisposed at the time. He offered high ranking titles at Targaryen Co. to all of Alicent’s children, and despite Otto’s insistence that Aegon should inherit the company, Alicent shut him down and agreed to Jace’s terms for peace. Till this day, Jace doesn’t even know if he actually had the power to do that, but Rhaenys backed him and Corlys threatened everyone who went against him, and that was good enough for the stakeholders. 

Daemon made a fuss when he came back from wherever the fuck he was, but the deal was already sealed and signed, and there was nothing he could do. Jace is sure that Daemon still holds a grudge against him till this day - the man thrives on chaos and would have loved nothing more than pit the two sides of the family against each other, consequences be damned - but Jace could give two fucks when the whole reason the Targaryen dynasty is still standing strong and mighty is because of him. 

“Good job with the flowers,” Aemond says, coming over to Jace when Viserys’ speech is over. And because he is a bitch, adds, “Always so lucky.”

Jace wants to wrap his hands around Aemond’s neck and wring it. Hard. 

“Thanks,” he says flippantly instead. Then he decides to be petty. “Aegon helped me.”

Annoyance flickers in Aemond’s eyes, because for all he claims to despise Aegon, he’s just a little boy who wants his older brother’s love and attention. Jace is convinced that the sole reason Aemond hates him so much is because he’s the older brother Aemond wishes he had. 

But Jace sometimes wonders if it’s better for him to have been like Aegon instead of bending over backwards and sacrificing so many parts of himself just to keep his family happy. 

“Aegon can be useful sometimes,” is all Aemond says in the end. 

“Yeah,” Jace says and then because his patience had already snapped yesterday when Aemond refused to help him and was instead happy to pile all the blame on him, says, “Unlike you.” 

“You-”

“Brother!” Aegon calls loudly as he approaches them. He throws an arm around each of them, and both shove him off aggressively. That does nothing to impede his good mood. “Hey now! Sevenmas is the time for family and loving!” 

“What do you want, Aegon?” Aemond asks, frowning at him suspiciously. 

“Just to catch up with my baby brother and see how you’re doing.” 

“Don’t call me that,” Aemond complains, and Jace takes the opportunity to escape. 

He runs into Harwin, who takes one look at him and immediately knows that something is up. He tries to sidestep him, but Harwin takes his arm firmly. 

“Talk to your father, Jace,” he says, and Jace relents, because he’s weak, and it feels good to have someone who cares about him. 

He lets Harwin lead him out to the balcony, and they spend several minutes silently staring out at the traffic and people below. Harwin’s giving him space to just take some time to himself and allowing him the choice whether to confide in him or not. And Jace would usually choose to remain silent - he’s borne the burden by himself for such a long time after all, but he finds himself spilling his troubles to his father. 

“It’s just so unfair, Daddy,” Jace says. 

And Harwin takes it all in, listening patiently.

“I miss Cregan,” Jace says in a harsh whisper, finally getting to the crux of the issue. “There’s not a day that’s gone by where I don’t miss him. Even when I was with Benjicot or Addam or whoever, I missed him.” 

It’s why all those relationships never make it past Sevenmas. Because Jace can date and sleep with whoever he wants, but he can’t bear the thought of spending Sevenmas with someone other than Cregan. And, sure, it feels terrible to be the only single person in his family during Sevenmas, but that’s nothing compared to the pain of being with someone who’s not Cregan.  

Harwin waits a few moments, making sure that Jace is finished before he speaks. 

“The most important thing is to follow your heart,” Harwin says, and Jace cannot believe that this is what he chooses to open with. 

Jace feels like he has been slapped. Follow his heart? As if it’s something so simple! If he had just abandoned his family and followed his heart North twelve years ago, who knows what would have happened to Rhaenyra or even any of his siblings? Who knows what would have happened to the Targaryens as a whole for that matter! 

Usually, Jace could treat his father’s insensitive words as water off a duck’s back, but something snaps in him at that moment. He wishes he never opened his mouth and confided in Harwin. 

It’s a fucking mistake.  

“That’s real rich coming from someone who abandoned his children,” Jace sneers. “Was that how you justified your actions when you chased your career and left your children behind - following your heart? Did you think it was alright because Laenor was around?” 

The shock and hurt on Harwin’s face only pisses Jace off further. 

“Don’t lecture me like you’re my parent when you weren’t around to raise me. I raised myself, and I took care of Luke and Joff. Follow your heart.” Jace rolls his eyes and scoffs. “What did I expect from such a selfish person?” 

“Jacaerys!” Laenor says, looking horrified from the entrance of the balcony. Qarl gapes next to him, looking at Jace as if he’s looking at a stranger.

Jace cannot stand the hypocrisy of either of them.

“Oh please. You fucked off to another continent - you don’t have any right to lecture me either.”

Jace has every intention to storm off, but it’s just his luck that all of his family has heard his little outburst and are gathering behind Laenor. Laena holds Laenor’s hand and looks at Jace reproachfully while Alicent is judging him with those beady eyes of hers.  

Jace could just about- 

“Jacaerys,” Rhaenyra says with a frown. “Don’t say that about your fathers. You know they love you.”

And Jace reminds himself that Rhaenyra raised him. She stayed even when Laenor and Harwin left, and did her best-

If her best was marrying her uncle while still pregnant with Joffrey and barely a month divorced from Laenor!

And she might as well have left, because she was never present. 

Jace had to do everything.

Rhaenyra didn’t fucking raise him or his siblings; he did. 

Even the ones born from Daemon! 

Viserys used to call him ‘dada’ for fuck’s sake! 

Something which Daemon threatened to beat him up for as if Jace was the one who taught Viserys to call him that! 

And not because he was the most consistent parent figure in Viserys’ life. 

“Just like how you love all of your children but not enough to actually take care of them,” Jace says, rolling his eyes. “If you don’t have time for all your children, maybe you should stop having so many fucking children!”

He regrets it immediately. Because he realises that even though he can’t see them, his sibling might be standing at the back of the crowd and listening in too. And he also remembers how much pain Rhaenyra was in when she lost Visenya. She loves them all so much, of course she does. Jace is about to apologise, because he’s gone too far, but Rhaenyra bristles. 

“I took care of-” 

“No,” Jace chokes, unable to believe what he’s hearing. He wishes he could stop, but he can’t, not anymore. “You weren’t fucking there. Luke was so fucking depressed he was suicidal, and you had no fucking idea.”

Both Harwin and Laenor inhale sharpy, and of course they had no fucking idea either! 

“If you did, you wouldn’t have spent that whole summer pushing back against me when I asked you to let him go to Driftmark and attend the sailing academy instead. Do you even know how many times Joffrey played truant or ran away from home? Do you know the school would call me and not even you? And now you want to claim that you were fucking there for us? And I know losing Visenya was hard for you, I really do, and I’m so sorry that happened to you, I know how much you wanted a daughter, but you still had Aegon and Viserys! And Daemon wasn’t fucking there either, and I had to take care of them too!” 

He turns to Laenor and then Harwin angrily. “I gave up everything to take care of the mess all three of you made! And for what?” 

Rhaenyra staggers as if Jace’s words had physically wounded her. Daemon holds her protectively against himself and gives Jace a hateful look. 

“Oh, I know what you think about me and Luke,” Jace says before Daemon can open his wretched mouth. “You fucking hate us and wish we didn’t exist, that we only get in the way of your fucking picture perfect family. Well, you know what? You can have your wish. I’ll get out of the picture.” 

Luke already stays in Driftmark and only ever visits during the holidays anyway, so it’s really only Jace who’s the problem. 

Daemon rolls his eyes. “You’re being dramatic.” 

For some reason, that is the thing that pushes Jace over the edge. 

“I’m dramatic because you people are useless!” he bellows. “I’m sick of being in charge of everything.” He catches sight of Aegon and Aemond laughing quietly in the corner and fucking loses it. He points at Aemond, who jerks at suddenly being the centre of attention. “You’re constantly watching me and waiting for me to fail. Well, you can stop your snickering - yeah I’m so fucking pathetic that I’m fucking my fucking uncle! So fucking what!” 

Aegon’s eyes widen, and he frantically shakes his head. “Jace!” 

“What?” Aemond asks. 

Jace snaps his head to Aegon. “What the fuck were you two laughing about then?”

“It wasn’t about you!” Aegon says with a groan. “I didn’t say a thing! What the fuck, Jace.” 

“You and Aegon?!” Daeron asks, looking back and forth between them like they’ve grown an extra head. “He’s your uncle!” 

Jace wishes the floor would open up and swallow him whole. He doesn’t allow himself to stand around and suffer the embarrassment of the whole family laughing at him. But at least Aemond would get his wish now!  

Someone (very likely Laena or Baela) says ‘it runs in the family’, and Jace wants to jump off the balcony. 

“I’m done,” he says instead.

He shrugs Harwin off when he touches his shoulder and elbows his way past everyone, ignoring the calls of his name. He sees his siblings standing at the entrance of the ballroom and thank the gods that they hadn’t heard anything he said. 

Viserys sees him and waves to him, but he can’t engage with them. So he walks out of the ballroom, the hotel, and into the streets. His phone buzzes in his pocket, and he doesn’t even bother to check who is calling him before he turns it off.  

The sun has already set, and he’s thankful for the cover the night provides him. He doesn’t even realise he’s crying until a few blocks later. It’s crowded this time of the night, people just coming off from work and starting their weekend fun on a Friday night. Jace weaves past the crowd, finding some comfort in the anonymity. Tears are running down his face, and nothing he does can stop it, but no one spares him a second look. No one gives a fuck about him. It’s freeing; it’s also crushing. 

No one gives a fuck about him. 

He runs into a man and doesn’t even apologise, just tries to move away. But the man doesn’t let him go, tugging him back. Jace doesn’t want to start a fight in the middle of the streets, because even if he doesn’t get recognised right away, it’s going to end up on the front pages of the tabloids, and as much as he no longer have any fucks to give about his family, he personally doesn’t want to be a source of amusement. 

He mumbles an apology but doesn’t look up, doesn’t want a stranger seeing his red, puffy eyes and tear-streaked face. What he doesn’t expect is for the man to pull him into a hug, wrapping strong arms around him and-

Oh. 

Jace knows this embrace. 

He doesn’t believe it at first. For a moment, he genuinely believes he is so sad that his mind conjures up the only thing in the world that’s ever given him true comfort and peace. When he realises that it’s real, his first instinct is to push the man away, but he ends up doing what he really wants to instead - he hugs the man tightly, never wanting to let him go again, and sobs into his chest. 

And just like all those years ago, Cregan whispers in his ear, “I got you, baby.

Thirteen years ago

It’s Cregan’s first game as a senior, and expectations are high after his successful stint as captain last year. No one’s been captain for two years in a row, and despite him trying to play it off as nothing, Jace knows the pressure is mounting, and that’s why he made sure that his schedule is completely clear so that he can show up to support Cregan. 

He toes his shoes on and shoots off a quick text to Cregna. 

Heading out now! 

Cregan hearts the message and replies - Can’t wait to see you, baby. 

He smiles and pockets his phone. He gets into his car and is halfway to the school when his phone rings. He frowns at the unknown number but picks it up, connecting the call to his car’s sound system. 

“Mr. Jacaerys Velaryon-Targaryen?”

“Yes. Who’s calling?”

“Ah, it’s so good to finally reach someone! This is Principal Jeyne Arryn. I’m calling about your younger brother, Joffrey Velaryon-Targaryen.” 

Jace grips his steering wheel, his heart racing. “Joffrey? What’s wrong?” 

“He got into a fight, and we couldn’t reach either of your parents - Rhaenyra or Daemon.” 

“I’ll be right there,” Jace says. He ends the call and dials Cregan’s number immediately. 

“Hey, baby, are you arriving soon?” Cregan asks, sounding so excited that it breaks Jace’s heart that he can’t be there with him. 

“I’m sorry, Cregan. Something came up with Joffrey, and I have to go to his school.” 

“Oh,” Cregan says, unable to disguise the disappointment in his voice, but he quickly follows it up with, “Of course! Do what you have to.” 

“I’ll go over as soon as I can,” Jace promises. “Love you.” 

“Love you too, babe.” 

Jace feels like the worst boyfriend in the world when Cregan hangs up. He tries calling Rhaenyra and Daemon multiple times, but neither picks up. He toys with the idea of calling Corlys or Rhaenys but decides against it. Joffrey is his brother; he’ll deal with whatever it is. 

He rushes to the principal’s office after parking. He enters the room, and Joffrey looks up, surprise crossing his features when he sees who it is. And then he juts out his lower lip and looks down. Jace crosses the room and kneels down in front of him, holding his chin gently but firmly and makes him look at him. There’s a cut in his lip and a scratch on his cheek, but they’ve already been patched up. 

“I thought Cregan had a game today,” Joffrey says in annoyance. 

“He does,” Jace says, not missing the flash of guilt on Joffrey’s face before it stills into anger. Before he can say anything, Jace brushes his uninjured cheek and asks, “Are you okay? Does it hurt?” 

Joffrey’s lower lip wobbles, and tears fill his eyes, but he shakes his head. 

“Okay, that’s good,” Jace says, hugging him tightly. He keeps an arm around Joffrey as he stands up and faces Ms. Arryn.

“You should know that Joffrey started the fight, Mr. Velaryon-Targaryen,” she says. 

“Right,” Jace says. He looks down at Joffrey. “Did you, Joff?”

Joffrey sniffs and gives a small nod. Jace pats his shoulder in comfort. 

“Did you apologise?” he asks.

Joffrey shakes his head. 

“Well, you have to, alright?” 

Joffrey doesn’t do anything for a long while but eventually jerks his head in acknowledgement. 

Jace kneels down to look at him again. “Why did you do it, Joffrey?” 

Joffrey is silent for a long moment, but Jace is patient.

“I don’t know,” Joffrey eventually confesses, giving Jace a brief glance before looking down at his lap again. “Jeff bumped into me, and I just got angry.”

“Okay, I see. Well, I understand what Jeff did was annoying, but what you did was wrong. You can’t hit someone just because they annoy you,” Jace says gently. 

“Daemon does it,” Joffrey says, and Jace can feel Ms. Arryn’s concerned gaze on them. 

“Daemon isn’t always correct,” Jace says as patiently as he can. In his head, he’s cursing the older man for being a bad influence on Joffrey. He makes a note to check in on Aegon and Viserys and make sure they haven’t picked up any of their father’s undesirable traits either. “Come on, let’s go.” 

Joffrey gets to his feet obediently and follows Jace out into the hallway where Jeff and his parents are waiting. They must have been there when Jace came through earlier on his way to the principal office, but he hadn’t noticed them in his haste to get to Joffrey. 

Under Jace’s strict gaze, Joffrey mumbles an apology, which Jeff begrudgingly accepts at the behest of his parents, though their expressions are cold as they look at Jace and Joffrey. 

Ms. Arryn takes the boys aside to talk to them, and Jace turns his attention to Jeff’s parents. 

“I apologise for my brother’s behaviour,” Jace says.

“It’s fine,” the father says, though he sounds far from sincere. 

“It’s not,” the mother says. 

“Mar-”

“No, Jason,” she says firmly then faces Jace. “I know you’re Targaryens, and you can do whatever you want, but a line has to be drawn when it comes to the safety of our children!” 

“I know. I understand. Joffrey was in the wrong. I’ll make sure he understands that he can’t go around hitting other children.” 

“Good,” Mary says. She doesn’t thank him, but Jace doesn’t expect her to. Joffrey being a decent child is not something that deserves any gratitude. It’s the responsibility of their parents, and they have failed. Badly. 

Jeff and his parents leave, and Ms. Arryn takes Jace aside. 

“It’s not the first time Joffrey has misbehaved; it’s just the first time he has hit someone else,” she says quietly. Both of them watch Joffrey staring out the window, his hands clenched into fists by his sides. “I’ve tried talking to your parents about this before when I’ve managed to reach them, but neither of them seem to take my concerns seriously. I really think Joffrey needs help, Mr. Velaryon-Targaryen.” 

“Yeah,” Jace says, taking the pamphlets the principal offers. “I understand, Ms. Arryn. Thank you.” 

Jace wonders if he could call Dr. Gunthor Darklyn who used to see Luke but this is probably something different. He looks through the pamphlets and sends a text to Erryk, asking him to make an appointment at a reputable clinic immediately. As usual, Erryk is efficient and responds within five minutes, saying he’s secured a timeslot with Dr. Sabitha Frey, a renowned doctor specialising in children with behavioural problems. 

Jace secures Joffrey in the car and then drives to Dr. Frey’s clinic. When he pulls up at the building, Joffrey takes one look at it and then turns curious eyes onto Jace. 

“Where are we?” he asks. “Why aren’t we going home?”

Jace has been wracking his brain the entire car ride over on how to explain this to Joffrey. 

“Do you know how when you get sick, you visit a doctor?” 

Joffrey nods. He points to the plaster on his cheek. “Like when Ms. Massey fixed me up.” 

“Yes, something like that,” Jace says. “A psychiatrist is like a feelings doctor. You remember how you were telling me that you got so angry when Jeff bumped into you? Well, Dr. Frey is going to help with that.”

“She’s going to fix me up too?”

Jace cups Joffrey’s cheek and smiles at him. Something in it must resonate with Joffrey because he beams back at Jace. “No, Joff, she’s not going to fix you, because there’s nothing wrong with you. She’ll help you, that’s all. But you don’t have to go if you don’t want to. We can go home and watch TV instead.” 

Joffrey glances at the big, fancy building and then back at Jace. “I don’t mind seeing Dr. Frey.” He fiddles with the hem of his shirt. “I want to get better too.” 

“Alright,” Jace says. He brings Joffrey up to the top floor, Joffrey clutching his shirt the whole way up, and signs him in. 

Dr. Frey smiles warmly at them and leans down to greet Joffrey. “Hi, Joffrey, am I right?”

He gives a shy nod, half hiding behind Jace. 

“I’m Dr. Frey, and I’m going to spend some time with you today.” 

“Will Jace be with us?”

“Unfortunately, no,” Dr. Frey says. Joffrey looks alarmed, but Dr. Frey gives him a conspiratorial wink and says, “We’re going to be exchanging secrets, and we don’t want Jace to be there, do we?”

Joffrey purses his lips, thinking for a bit. “I don’t mind sharing my secrets with Jace!”

Jace’s heart melts at his little brother’s words, and Dr. Frey chuckles. 

“I see. Jace must be special to you, isn’t he?”

Joffrey nods. “He’s my favourite brother.”

“And I’d love to have him in with us as well, but I want to share my secrets with just you, Joffrey. Do you think it’s okay for us to be alone without Jace? Just for a short while.”

Joffrey considers it before nodding. “Okay!” He looks up. “Sorry, Jace.”

Jace ruffles his hair affectionately. “It’s alright, buddy.” He hugs Joffrey to bid him goodbye. “I’ll come get you later, okay?” 

“Okay,” Joffrey says. 

Jace smiles as he watches him walk into the room, then he checks his watch. His heart sinks when he sees that Cregan’s game has long started.

“Do you have somewhere you need to be, Mr. Velaryon-Targaryen?” Dr. Frey asks.

“Oh, uh, my boyfriend has a game, and- Well, don’t worry. I’ll be back in time to get Joffrey. The session is 90 minutes, right?” 

Dr. Frey hums. “I should like to get to know Joffrey a little bit more. Perhaps 2 hours would be better.” 

Jace smiles at her gratefully. “Thank you, Dr. Frey!” 

The game is over by the time Jace makes it to the school, but it must have just ended, because people are still clearing out. Jace hurriedly makes his way to the locker room, hoping to catch Cregan before he leaves. He’s passing a hallway when he hears voices, one which he recognises as the distinct rumble of Cregan’s. He backpedals and frowns when he hears a voice he cannot place. 

“- can’t even be bothered to show up, Creg.” 

Creg? 

Who the fuck is acting so familiar with his man? 

He peers into the hallway. Ah. It’s Floris who’s getting all up in Cregan’s personal space. Jace has never interacted with her, but she loves to glare at Jace when she thinks he isn’t looking. Head cheerleaders always date the football captains, or so she says, and because Jace is dating Cregan, he is apparently ruining her life. 

“He was planning to come, Floris,” Cregan says, taking a big, clear step away from her. “He was on his way when something happened.”

“And what is that something?” Floris asks, touching Cregan’s arm. “He doesn’t deserve you, Creg. If I wasn’t here to cheer for you, who would?” 

Cregan gently removes her arm from his body, and a hurt look crosses her face. “He’s still cheering for me even if he isn’t here.”

“Yes, but-”

Jace has seen and heard enough. “Baby,” he calls out, walking straight up to Cregan and ignoring Floris completely. He tugs Cregan down for a long, heated kiss. He hears Floris make a disgusted sound and only when he can no longer hear the sound of footsteps against the floor does he pull away from Cregan. 

Cregan leans in again almost immediately, cupping Jace’s head and kissing him tenderly. He places his forehead against Jace. 

“It’s good to see you, Jace.” 

“I’m so sorry I wasn’t able to make it, Creg. Did you win?”

Cregan grins and pulls back. “You bet we did. We’re off to celebrate at Duskendale. Wanna come with?”

Jace checks his watch. He only has about ten more minutes to spare before he has to return to the clinic and pick Joffrey up.

“I’m sorry, Creg. I can’t.”

A wounded look crosses Cregan’s face before it’s immediately replaced with a smile. “That’s alright. Where are you headed to? Maybe I could go with you.” 

Jace hesitates. The last thing he wants to do is drag Cregan into his family problems and ruin his night. 

“No, don’t worry about it,” Jace says, kissing Cregan’s cheek. “You go and celebrate with your team.”

Cregan opens his mouth and shuts it. He nods, some of the joy fading from his face, and Jace hates himself so much. Perhaps he shouldn’t even have shown up. It feels worse to give Cregan hope and then snatch it away. “Alright. I’ll see you around then.”

“See you.” Jace kisses Cregan again. “I love you - you know that, right?”

Cregan smiles, a genuine one this time. “I do. I love you too, babe.” 

Jace cries a little on his way to the clinic, but he makes sure there are no traces of his sadness left when he picks Joffrey up from Dr. Frey’s office. Joffrey seems to be in a better mood and even gives Dr. Frey a high five before he leaves with Jace.  

“How was your time with Dr. Frey, Joff?” Jace asks. 

“I like Dr. Frey! She’s so nice. She listened to me, and we played some games too. It was fun. When can I see her again?” 

“Maybe next week,” Jace says, making a mental note to ask Erryk to sync up with Dr. Frey and set up a regular schedule with her. 

After Jace tucks Joffrey into bed later that night, he hears the front door clicking open. Rhaenyra and Daemon’s voices float upstairs, and Jace storms down the stairs angrily. 

“Where have you been?” he asks them, crossing arms across his chest. 

“What are you using that attitude with us for?” Daemon asks, his good mood dispersing immediately.

Rhaenyra shushes him. “What’s wrong, darling? Why are you so upset?” 

“Did Ms. Arryn not call you?” 

“Ms. Arryn?” Rhaenyra frowns and pulls out her phone. “Oh it seems like she did. Many times, in fact. Curious. Did something happen with Joff?”

“He fought with another kid! I told you that he’s been acting up, and you have done nothing about it-”

“He’s just being a kid. Leave him the fuck alone,” Daemon says, rolling his eyes. 

“It’s not normal! It’s going to be like Luke all over again-”

“What?” Rhaenyra asks, alarmed. “Are you saying he-” She drops her voice to a hushed whisper. “Are you saying he’s going to- to-”

“Try and kill himself,” Daemon supplies flippantly.

Jace breathes out through his nose and reminds himself to remain calm. “No, and Luke did not actually try to kill himself. He was depressed and potentially about to, but we intervened in time.” 

“To-may-to. To-mah-to,” Daemon says. 

Jace exhales noisily, wondering why the fuck his mother chose to marry such an obnoxious, insensitive man. “Either way, there’s something clearly wrong with Joff. Anyway, I have it handled. I got him to see Dr. Sabitha Frey-”

“Who the fuck is that?” Daemon interjects.

“I was getting to that if you’d let me finish,” Jace snaps. 

Daemon smiles and bows mockingly.

“She’s a psychiatrist-” 

“Psychiatrist?” Daemon bellows. “What the fuck is wrong with you? Joffrey is fine. Why are you acting like he’s a nutcase?”

“Daemon,” Rhaenyra says, tugging at his sleeve. “Be quiet, please. The children are sleeping.” 

“He’s not fine - that’s what I’ve been trying to tell you,” Jace says, doing his best to keep his voice quiet and not yell at them like he really wants to. “It’s done, and don’t fucking interfere. You’re not our father.”

Daemon’s eyes turn cold, and he stalks past Jace into the kitchen, no doubt to open a bottle of whiskey. 

Rhaenyra watches him go fretfully and turns to Jace with a reproachful look on her face. “Why do you have to say such hurtful things, Jacaerys? Can’t you see that he’s trying his best?” 

Jace swallows whatever he wants to say to his mother. Instead, he says, “Just let Joffrey continue his sessions with Dr. Frey. Promise me that. Please, Mom.”

“Yes, of course, darling,” Rhaenyra says with a sigh. “I want what’s best for him too. Let me talk to Daemon. He’ll see reason, I’m sure.”

“Thank you,” Jace grits out. “Goodnight, Mom.”

“Night, darling. Have a good night.”

Tears slip out of Jace’s eyes when he turns around and races back upstairs to the safety of his bedroom. He pulls his phone out, wanting to call Cregan, and sees a message from his boyfriend. He opens it, and it’s a picture of Cregan and the team hanging out in someone’s basement. There are cheerleaders there too - Floris is sitting right next to Cregan who has made sure to leave a gap between them - and everyone looks so fucking happy. 

Attached to the photo is a simple message - Wish you were here, babe. 

And Cregan is so, so happy. How can Jace call him now and ruin his mood? As if he hasn’t already ruined his night. Floris is right - Cregan deserves someone who can treat him right and make him happy, not someone who can’t even show up to support him on an important night. 

Jace closes the chat, buries his head in the pillow, and cries himself to sleep.

Present day 

They end up in a hotel with Jace on his back and Cregan inside him, because of course they do. Even after more than ten years apart, their bodies still fit together naturally. Cregan still knows where to touch Jace to make him moan his name, and Cregan’s body still feels so familiar to Jace. He still runs his hands all over his skin, memorising them anew. 

Yet, even with Cregan thrusting into him and mouthing at his neck, a part of Jace is still convinced that he’s dreaming. How can this be reality? But Jace’s body is aflame in a way that is too tangible to be a figment of his imagination. And the pleasure that wracks through him is something that cannot be replicated anywhere else, no even in his dreams. No one fucks him just right the way Cregan does. Not any of his one-night stands or ex-boyfriends. No one.  

“Cregan,” Jace says. It’s a plea, and he doesn’t even know what he’s asking for, but Cregan knows. 

Cregan always knows. 

He reaches up to capture Jace’s lips, and Jace wraps his arms around his neck, deepening the kiss. The slide of their tongues along each other is electrifying, and Jace finds himself in the backseat of Cregan’s car, losing his innocence all over again. 

Jace pushes Cregan’s shoulder, and Cregan allows him to roll them over so that he’s on top. Jace sits up, wincing a little with Cregan still inside of him, and Cregan holds him steady, rubbing comforting circles into his hips. For some reason, this is the moment that it clicks in Jace’s head that this is actually happening. 

Cregan is actually here. 

Cregan reaches up and cups his cheek, brushing his thumb under his eye. It feels wet, and it’s only then that Jace realises he’s wiping away a tear. 

“Why are you crying, baby?” Cregan asks, and it feels so good to hear his voice again after so long. 

Jace sniffs, placing his hand over Cregan’s. “Are you really here?”

Cregan chuckles, the low tone sending heat pooling in Jace’s stomach. “Of course I am.” 

Jace leans down to kiss him fiercely, then he sits back up and places his hands on Cregan’s chest for support before riding him as if his life depends on it. Honestly, it kind of feels like it does. 

Cregan understands without Jace needing to say anything. He rolls his hips up, pulling gasps and moans from Jace while he pants in return. 

Jace opens his eyes, and his rhythm stutters when he sees the look of wonder on Cregan’s face. It’s the same expression he had on his face when Jace first took him in him. 

And Jace starts sobbing uncontrollably. 

He gave Cregan up. 

In exchange for what? 

He could have had Cregan this whole time. Instead, he chose to slave away for a family and corporation that have done nothing but wring him dry. 

Cregan’s hands slide up Jace’s back, and ever so carefully, he guides Jace onto his back. He plants his hands on each side of Jace’s face and leans down to kiss his tears away. His thrusts are deep and slow, and Jace wraps his legs around Cregan’s waist, pulling him closer, wanting to feel him even more. 

Everything is Cregan; Jace feels him in him, under his skin, breathes him in. It’s overwhelming. It’s perfect. It doesn’t take long for Jace to come, and he’s not even embarrassed that he came without being touched.

Cregan comes soon after, spilling into the condom, which Jace mourns. He wants to feel Cregan’s seed in him, filling him up and claiming him like he did before. 

The fact that the condom is there in the first place is a reminder that no matter how much they still fit together so perfectly, things have fundamentally changed. There’s a barrier between them, a chasm created by time, and there’s no easy way to bridge it. 

They don’t speak in the shower, and Jace wishes Cregan would take him again. He can feel Cregan’s interest too, but they both have too much self-control. Or at least Cregan does. Jace doesn’t give a fuck anymore. He gets onto his knees and sucks Cregan into his mouth. 

“Don’t worry; I’m clean,” Cregan chokes out, and Jace hums, slurping down his cock hungrily.

The weight of Cregan’s cock feels so good on his tongue, and he wants to spend every night like this with Cregan’s cock in his mouth. It doesn’t take long for Cregan to come, and Jace swallows every single drop.

They finish cleaning up, and it’s only when they lie on the bed on their sides facing each other that they finally speak.

“Hi,” Jace says, suddenly feeling shy. 

Cregan smiles, warm as the sun on a cold winter day. “Hi there. You’re real pretty.” 

Jace chuckles even as tears spring to his eyes. “You’re real dumb,” he whispers. 

Cregan kisses him softly and pulls back. “I guess I don’t have to ask how you’ve been.” 

Jace bites his lower lip and lowers his gaze. Cregan has every right to be vindictive and say that Jace was wrong for dumping him for something that is ripping him apart. Jace deserves all the pain his situation affords him; he chose it. 

“Hey,” Cregan says, urging Jace to look at him. “I didn’t mean anything by that - you know I didn’t.”

Jace does. Cregan has never been anything but kind and good to him. 

Why did he give him up again?  

“Someone who’s happy doesn’t cry in the streets,” Cregan continues. “What happened?” 

“I fought with my family,” Jace says. 

Surprise flickers over Cregan’s face. One of their most recurrent fights was how Jace never stood up to his parents and always did whatever they wanted. He’d argued with Cregan till the cows came home, but he’d never say no to mommy. 

He should’ve said no to mommy. 

“Don’t worry,” Jace says dryly. “It’s a new development too.” 

Cregan laughs. His face sobers, and he grazes his knuckles against Jace’s face. “It must have been so hard for you. I wish I had been there with you.” 

“Cregan,” Jace says, not knowing what he wants to say except wanting to say Cregan’s name. 

“Jacaerys,” Cregan returns.

“What- What is this?” 

Cregan presses a kiss to his forehead. “A trip down memory lane.” 

Jace’s heart twists painfully in his chest. He doesn’t want to revisit the past; he wants the past to become the present. He wants to toss the missing years out of the window and rectify his mistake. He wants to turn back time and take it all back. 

“You’re thinking too much,” Cregan mutters. He gets off the bed, and Jace sits up, agitated. Cregan can’t leave. Jace doesn’t know what he’ll do if Cregan leaves now. Now that he has Crega back again, he never wants to let him go ever again. “Relax,” Cregan says. “I’m just going to go out and get us some chocolates. You used to like having chocolates when you’re upset.” He pauses. “Unless you don’t anymore.”

“I do,” Jace says, sniffing. No one’s brought him chocolates when he’s upset for more than ten years now. But Cregan still remembers; of course he does. 

“You’ll come back?” Jace asks hesitantly. 

Cregan takes Jace’s and kisses his fingers. “I’ll be back before you know it.” 

Jace nods. He watches Cregan go reluctantly and is painfully reminded of the similar situation all those years ago, except that it was him walking away from Cregan. If Jace were Cregan, he wouldn’t come back. But Cregan’s always been a better person than Jace, and if says that he’s coming back, then he will. 

Jace flops back down onto the bed, trying not to think about how the Dance of the Dragons Gala is going. He doesn’t care. He doesn’t give a shit. Why should he care? Aemond must be so happy, grabbing the chance to take over. He doesn’t even have to do much, just follow the plan Jace’s already made, but he’s going to get all the credit and glory for it, just because he’s there for the actual event and Jace isn’t.

But Jace doesn’t care.

He doesn’t. 

A ring cuts through the room, startling Jace out of his fretful thoughts. 

It’s coming from the floor, and Jace lets it go to voicemail. Cregan can get it when he returns; Jace doesn’t want to snoop. As much as he wants to pretend nothing has changed, he knows better. Cregan might not have minded before, but he might now. But Cregan’s phone rings again and again, and Jace can no longer ignore it. Worried that it’s something important, Jace digs Cregan’s phone out of his jeans pocket. 

Arra is calling. 

He doesn’t recognise the name at all.

Jace answers the call.

“Hi-”

“Cregan, finally!” Arra says, sounding immensely relieved. A child is crying in the background. “Where is Ice? You know Rickon can’t sleep without it.” The baby screams, and when Arra speaks next, her voice comes out muffled but still audible. “I’m sorry, baby, just hang in there for a moment longer, okay? I’m asking dada where he left your toy.” Arra’s voice returns more clearly. “Cregan? Cregan, can you hear me? Rickon…” 

But Jace isn’t listening anymore. 

The phone slips from his grip, and he gets dressed faster than he ever has in his life. Of course. Of course Cregan already has a family. 

Fuck. Did Jace just commit adultery? 

As if throwing away his career isn’t enough.

He really has to ruin his entire life in a single night, huh. 

Jace is going to take a leaf out of his dads’ book and run away. In fact, he’s so inspired by Laenor that he’s going to move to Essos! He has been wanting to visit Lys for years - why not just move there? 

He heard that the people there are super chill, and everyone’s been telling him to chill for years now. 

Besides, there’s nothing for him here in King’s Landing anymore.

Cregan’s the last thing he cared about, and he doesn’t even have Cregan anymore.

He’s being delusional; he’s not had Cregan for a long time now. 

This is just a trip down memory lane, just like Cregan said. Cregan doesn’t want anything to do with him. He just wanted to fuck a willing, pliant body. 

Gods, he is so stupid.   

He wrenches the door open, intent on going home, packing his bags, and hopping onto the next available flight. 

“Woah, woah,” Cregan says, hands coming up to hold Jace to stop him from running into him. “Jace? What’s wrong? Why are you crying?”

“Your wife called!” Jace says, shoving Cregan in the chest. “You- You fucking asshole! You have a wife! And a kid! I’m so stupid! I shouldn’t have-”

“Hey, hey, hey! Do you really think so lowly of me?” 

Jace pauses, looking up at Cregan through tear trimmed lashes. Cregan looks hurt and perhaps even a little angry. He takes hold of Jace’s shoulder and guides him back into the room, and Jace lets him. 

Cregan places the bag of chocolates ( Blackwoods , Jace’s favourite artisan chocolates - he doesn’t even know there’s a location nearby) down and picks up his phone. He dials Arra back.

“Arra? Yeah, sorry, I didn’t catch you earlier. Ice is in the green bag, not the grey one.” Cregan waits awhile. “Okay, great. Tell Rickon I love him. Happy Sevenmas to you too. Bye.” 

Jace folds his arms and stares at Cregan expectantly. 

“Arra is my ex-wife,” Cregan says, emphasising “ex” heavily. “Rickon’s our kid. She has him for Sevenmas this year.” 

Jace’s anger slowly leaves him, and he cautiously makes his way back to the bed. Cregan turns to face him, and he sits on the bed gingerly. 

“Ex-wife,” he repeats slowly.

“I wouldn’t cheat,” Cregan says. 

“So if you met me and you were still married to her, you wouldn’t have slept with me?” 

“Of course not.”

Jace sniffs and turns away, offended. 

Cregan chuckles. “What is it, baby? Do you want me to be a cheater or not?”

Jace purses his lips. Of course he’s glad Cregan isn’t a cheater, but how could Cregan not want to cheat with him! 

He lets Cregan draw him into his arms and kiss him. Cregan kisses his wet cheeks and wipes remnants of his tears away. 

“I like to think that I wouldn’t have, but I don’t know,” Cregan says. “I’ve never gotten over you. Not truly.”

Jace pouts. “Yet you still went and got married.” 

“You broke up with me. I wasn’t going to put my life on pause forever waiting for you to change your mind. It’s been more than ten years, Jace. You never reached out, not once.”

Neither have you, Jace wants to say, but he knows it’s not fair to place that burden on Cregan when he’s the one who dumped him so cruelly. 

And Jace has wanted to reach out. So many times. Especially on nights he stays late in the office surrounded by papers and tears streaming down his face. And most especially during the holiday seasons where loneliness threatens to consume him whole despite being surrounded by family and friends. If anything, the number of people only serves to emphasise the gaping hole in his heart, a hole that only Cregan can fill.

But every time he reaches for his phone, he reminds himself that Cregan is happier without him.

“I’m sorry,” Jace says, looking down at his lap. “I wanted to. I really did. But I never found the courage.” He sighs, his lips trembling. “And I was as scared to find out you were happy without me as to find out you were unhappy, so I just never did anything.”

Silence hangs in the air after Jace’s words. He sneaks a peek at Cregan who rubs his hands over his face tiredly. There are lines on Cregan’s face that have never been there before, and his eyes are more sunken. He’s grown older; they both have. 

“Why- Why are you in King’s Landing?”

“I live here,” Cregan says, startling Jace. So Aegon wasn’t lying then. 

“When?”

“I played for the Direwolves for a couple of years and then got signed to the Black Dragons.” 

“Oh, wow, congratulations, Cregan! You always wanted to play for the Direwolves.”

“Yeah,” Cregan says, smiling wryly.

They’re silent for a moment before Cregan breaks it. 

“Why did you break up with me?” Cregan asks quietly. Jace can see that the question has haunted Cregan all these years, and he feels like the worst human being on earth. He deserves to burn in the seven hells for doing what he did to Cregan. “Was it really because you thought I was a distraction? Did I do something?” 

“No,” Jace says, clambering into Cregan’s lap and kissing all his worries away. “Gods, Cregan, no, it’s not you. It was never you; it was me, and I’m so sorry. I’m so fucking sorry I let you think that it was you. I thought I was doing you a favour. I tried to make it sound like I was the problem. I’m so sorry.”

“Doing me a favour?” Cregan asks, looking wounded. “How was leaving me doing me a favour?”

“You were so happy, and I only ever made you sad,” Jace says, looking away from Cregan. “I had so many things going on with my family. I sacrificed time with you for them.”

“And you thought I didn’t understand that? I know how much your family demands of you, Jace - I knew it from the moment you told me you’re a Targaryen. You know what hurt me the most, Jace?”

Jace slowly shakes his head.

“That you never included me in your troubles. You were always there for me, but you never let me be there for you. It felt like you couldn’t trust me.” 

“No, no, I trusted you; of course I trusted you! I just didn’t want to bother you when you already had so many things going on.”

“That’s what being in a relationship means, Jace. Of course I wanted to be there for you.” 

“But I missed so many of your games, and I cancelled so many flights to the North,” Jace mumbles. 

“And all those didn’t matter, because I knew that we were building a future together. There was always going to be another game, and there was always going to be another flight. Jace… Why didn’t you have faith in us? Why didn’t you have faith in me?”

Jace shakes his head, looking up at Cregan. “It’s me that I didn’t have faith in. You gave so much, and I just kept taking, and I wanted you to be happy.”

“What are you talking about? You gave me so much too. And you really thought I would be happy without you? Baby, the only reason I was happy was because of you.” 

“Cregan…” 

“I wish you would have talked to me instead of breaking up with me.”

“I’m so sorry. I just- It seemed like Grandpa wasn’t going to make it, and Mom lost her baby, and I just didn’t know what to do.” 

“Fuck, Jace. Why didn’t you tell me any of those things?”

“I didn’t want you to sacrifice anything for me,” Jace says. “Because I know that you would have. You were so good to me, Cregan. You were too good to me. And I couldn’t let you ruin your future for me.”

“Jace, you were my future.” 

“But football-”

“Yes, football’s important to me too, and I would’ve found a way to make both things work. If only you had talked to me.”

“I’m sorry.” 

“I was a mess after you left me,” Cregan says, his voice hushed as if speaking this now still hurts as much as it did a decade ago. “I drank and partied too hard. Almost lost my scholarship. Sort myself out after that. And then I met Arra. She’s a childhood friend, and we reconnected. She’s never been away from home, and the North was foreign to me after being away for so long. It was easy for both of us. I don’t think we were ever in love, not truly, not the way you and I were. After graduation, I played for the Direwolves, like I said, but then I was signed to the Black Dragons, and Arra landed a job South too. I think we had figured out by then that what we had wasn’t romantic, but she accidentally became pregnant, so I proposed, and we got married. It seemed like the right thing to do. But we only became more unhappy. We decided it was best not only for us and also for Rickon to split. We couldn’t give him the best of us, not when we were constantly fighting. It wasn’t good for him to grow up in that kind of environment. Now we’re friends and take turns looking after him, and it works.” 

“I’m so sorry,” Jace says, crying once again. Hearing how he had very nearly caused Cregan to lose his scholarship and missing so many crucial events in Cregan’s life are too much for him to take. He did this. He fucked them both up. Cregan’s right - why didn’t he just have a little more faith in them? “This is all my fault.” 

“It’s not your fault,” Cregan says. “You can break up with whoever you want.”

“But I still hurt you. You must have hated me.” 

“I was angry,” Cregan says softly. He touches Jace’s face and strokes his cheek gently. “Angry and hurt. But I didn’t hate you. I could never hate you, Jace.” 

“I should have never left you,” Jace says. He knows that now. “Can you forgive me?”

“Of course I forgive you, baby.”

Jace kisses Cregan desperately. Their teeth clank against each other in his haste, but Cregan tilts his head, and their lips slot together perfectly like they’re meant to be together. 

“What happened, Jace?” Cregan asks after they pull apart, and it’s just like him to be so selfless and to put Jace’s needs above his even after everything. “You said you fought with your family? I’m sure it wasn’t that bad.” 

Jace truly doesn’t deserve him, but they deserve a second chance. 

“You don’t understand, Creg,” Jace says with a sigh, playing with a loose thread in the bedsheets. “I went off on them. I lost control. I told my dads they were irresponsible for abandoning their children, and I told my mom that she shouldn’t have had so many children if she couldn’t take care of us all.”

Cregan shrugs. “You only spoke facts.”

“But you didn’t see the look on their faces. I feel bad.” Jace frowns. “I know they tried their best. It’s why I tried my best to not blame them too.”

“You were a child, Jace. They should’ve taken care of you, but you ended up taking care of everyone.”

“I know,” Jace says quietly. 

“I think it’s good you were honest with them. You might think it was too much, but it’s about time they had a reality check. They can now take a long, hard look in the mirror, and you can finally begin to heal.”

“How do you always know the right thing to say?” 

Cregan tilts his head and smirks, and, Gods, he looks so handsome. “I learned from the best. When you said you were worried about our gender, I took your concerns seriously.”

Jace laughs and throws his arms around Cregan. He’s lucky. He’s so incredibly lucky to have Cregan. Why couldn’t he have seen that all those years ago? How could he have let Cregan go? And he’s already cried so much that night, but he still buries his face in Cregan’s neck, and Cregan holds him, rubbing soothing circles into his back as sobs wrack his body. But this time they’re tears of happiness. He’s so happy he can scarcely believe for fear that it’s just a dream and will disappear when he wakes up. 

When Jace calms down, he pulls away, and Cregan kisses him softly. “What do you want to do, baby?” 

Jace doesn’t know what to do. All he knows is -

“I don’t want to go home.”

“Then come home with me.” 

The next morning, when Jace wakes up, he can hardly believe that Cregan is lying next to him on the bed. It’s not a dream. It’s real. Cregan is real and in front of him, as tangible as the heart beating furiously in Jace’s chest.  

Jace spends a long time staring at Cregan, and he doesn’t stop staring even when Cregan starts to stir awake. He blushes shyly when he notices Jace staring, though he quickly gets over it and pecks Jace on the lips. 

“Merry Sevenmas, baby,” he says.

And Jace has even forgotten that Sevenmas is today.

He doesn’t think he has ever woken up on a Sevenmas morning feeling so refreshed and relaxed. There isn’t a hundred and one things for him to attend to. The thought of it sends a flicker of panic through him, because did the gala turn out alright and are his family alright? But he pushes those thoughts away and focuses on the man in front of him.

The man who is looking at him worriedly.

“Merry Sevenmas,” Jace replies and leans over to kiss the worry off Cregan’s face.

They take their time washing up and have breakfast in the lounge downstairs, exchanging stories of past Sevenmases that they spent without each other. Cregan reaches across the table to hold Jace’s hand and says, “But that’s it. I don’t want to spend another Sevenmas without you again.”

“I don’t ever want to spend another Sevenmas without you either,” Jace says. And everything feels like such a fairytale (maybe Sevenmas miracles do come true after all!) that Jace can’t help but be a little worried. “But, Cregan, can we just- I mean- it’s been more than a decade.”

Cregan smiles at Jace reassuringly, and Jace is amazed that Cregan doesn’t feel worried at all. “It’s been more than a decade,” he acknowledges. “And many things have changed. I have a son, and I intend to stay in his life.”

“Of course,” Jace says immediately, because he knows what it’s like to be a son abandoned by his fathers, and he would never desire for Cregan’s son to experience such a thing, much less be the cause for it. “You know I’d never be with you if you did that.”

Cregan chuckles. “And that’s how I know Arra will be okay with letting you into Rickon’s life.”

The mention of Cregan’s ex-wife makes Jace feel nervous. After all, this is the woman who bore Cregan his son, the one who put the pieces of Cregan back together after Jace so callously tore him apart. Even if Cregan doesn’t hate him, Arra must. At least a little.

“It’s going to be hard, baby, but we’ll find a way through it, because all that matters is that we’re together. Have faith in us this time.” 

“I will,” Jace says, because even if he doesn’t have faith in himself, he has so much faith in Cregan.  

Jace hasn’t looked at his phone once ever since he bumped into Cregan, and he’s not surprised to see that there are missed calls when he turns it on. He is surprised that the number is in the hundreds though. There are several text messages too, but he ignores them all. He turns his phone off again and pockets it. His family can fret about him for one more day. After all, he’s fretted about them for years. 

Jace knows that the house is empty because everyone will be over at Viserys’, and so he has Cregan drop him off at home so that he can collect Vermax and pack his things. Vermax is scratching the door when he arrives and hisses at him when he opens the door until she realises that it’s him. Then she curls herself around his legs and purrs. He picks her up. 

“I’m sorry for leaving you alone, my sweet,” he says before putting her around his neck. 

She remains there, docile as a lamb, as he goes around his room, grabbing the essentials and tossing them all into his luggage. He’s never coming back here, he realises, and he’s okay with that. He’s more than okay with that. How has he never realised that he has wanted to get out of this place this whole time? 

The door clicks open as he’s climbing down the stairs, and he freezes when he sees Luke and Joffrey walking in. His younger brothers’ eyes widen when they see the luggage in Jace’s hand. Jace doesn’t know what to say. It’s more than obvious that he’s running away from home, though he can’t actually be sure that this can be counted as running away when he’s an adult and has no obligation to stay with his family.

The three of them stare at each other for a few moments, then Luke says, “If you left anything behind, just let me know. I’ll get it for you.” 

Joffrey elbows Luke playfully. “You don’t live here, dude. You can let me know, Jace. I’ll get it for you.”

“Thanks, Luke, Joff,” Jace says, not knowing what else to say. He feels like he should, but it’s not a goodbye, because he’s not leaving his brothers.  

Luke holds the door open for him, and Joffrey steps aside to let him through. Jace pauses before he leaves the house, because he senses that they have something to say. 

“I just-” Luke cuts himself off and stares at the floor. “I- I know how much you did for me, Jace. I was just too caught up with my own stuff, but I always knew. I- I guess I want to say I’m sorry. And thank you. But I’m okay now. You can put yourself first.” 

Joff shuffles awkwardly and nods. “What he said.” 

Tears spring to Jace’s eyes. “I love you, Luke. I love you too, Joff. Thank you.”

“I love you too, Jace,” Luke says. 

“Me too, Jace,” Joffrey says gruffly. 

Jace drops his luggage and pulls his younger brothers into a tight hug. “Tell Aegon and Viserys that I love them too. It’s not about them. Tell them I’ll come see them as soon as I can.”  

“I will,” Luke promises. 

Joffrey tilts his head. “They will understand, you know,” he says. “They’re not that young anymore. Aegon is of legal age now, and Viserys is already fifteen. We’re not- We can support you too, you know. You don’t have to always be the one taking care of us. We get it.”

Joffrey will never know how much his words mean to Jace and how they set him free. 

Jace’s heart feels lighter when he approaches Cregan’s car, and it soars when he sees the man leaning against it and scrolling on his phone while waiting for him. Cregan looks so beautiful standing in the sunlight, and when he looks up, Jace’s heart skips a beat like it’s the first time he sees him again. Cregan’s face splits into a wide smile, and Jace’s heart melts in response. 

“Got everything you need?” Cregan asks.

Jace tugs him down for a kiss. “I have everything I need right here.” 

Vermax mewls from his carrier, and Cregan leans down to wave to him. “Hey there, Max. Remember me? It’s Cregan.” 

Vermax purrs, and Cregan chuckles. “I think she remembers me.”

“Of course she does,” Jace says. No one has heard more about Cregan than Vermax. 

Cregan loads Jace’s luggage into the car and carefully places Vermax in the backseat before holding the door open for Jace like a true gentleman. The car smells like Cregan, a heavenly mix of pine and patchouli, and Jace breathes it in, letting it take him back to all those years ago. 

Cregan gets into the driver’s seat and reaches over the centre console to take Jace’s hand. 

“Ready to go home, baby?” 

Jace nods and leans back in his seat, closing his eyes. 

He’s already home.