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English
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Published:
2024-12-15
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333
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To burn in hell

Summary:

Recently I’ve been coming to terms with the fact that I am Not Straightᵀᴹ , and while the journey has been hard being raised religious my entire life, I think I’m slowly healing. I wrote this poem as a way to express my feelings when I wasn’t doing too great, and I wanted to share it in hopes that someone in a situation like mine Can find solace and comfort in it. You are loved, you are worthy, you are not a disappointment, mistake, broken or a sin.

Notes:

Thank you for taking the time out of your day to read this! Like I said in the description, this was made as a vent, but I’m posting it in hopes that it Can brings some solidarity and comfort to others struggling in situations similar to mine. You are all absolutely wonderful, you’re not a sin, a mistake, a disappointment, or a freak. you’re a human person, you’re not alone, and though it may not mean too much, just know this stranger loves you. <3

Work Text:

Ever since I was a little girl, I have obsessed over love stories. 

Of princesses and knights.

But the knight I wished for me,

was not some man clad in white.

 

But through trial and doubt I’ve finally found a person meant for me.

Someone who’s kind, loyal, loving, smart, everything I want to be.

 

And when I tell my family,

They’ll say: “that is grand!” 

But I’ll leave out the small detail, 

That my love is a woman, not a man.

 

If my love for her is a sin, God,

then condemn me to hell, I’ve accepted it.

But let me take her burdens as well,

For our love she should not face your fist.

 

For the brightest soul I’ve ever known lies within that girl,

The kindest smile, sweetest laugh, words fail to describe,

could not be contained in the circle of hells swirl, 

Lest the brightness of her dampen and her soul deny.

 

I’ve been raised not to doubt, to follow in faith,

But I can’t understand this rule you’ve placed.

Love one another, isn’t that what ‘the lord saith’?

But when I love I’m told I’m wrong, that I’ve defaced.

 

For why is my love unholy, when not to a man?

And why am I condemned and lost?

Why is it a sin to be who I am?

Why must I pay such a heavy cost?

 

But if you condemn my love, God, then I’ll refuse any pearly gate.

Because I’d much rather suffer an eternity in hell,

Then without my love in some cleanly white fate.

 

Because a fate condemned to eternal burning, is a one I’d much rather face,

Than the judging hateful eyes in a sterile white place. 

For I will have no paradise without my love. 

We will not be condemned for our love.

 

For if I burn in hell in her arms,

My existence will be content.

But if I am fated to be in ‘God’s charm’,

I simply waste away in your covenant.