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Hira’s phone rings when they’re eating dinner, and he tears his gaze away from Kiyoi to look at the screen. “My mom. Sorry,” he tells Kiyoi before picking his phone up. “Hello?”
“Kazu!” his mom says, sounding the same as ever. “How are you doing?”
“I’m good.” Hira’s eyes land on Kiyoi again and he smiles reflexively.
“Good, good. I wanted to let you know that your father and I are planning to come visit. It’s been too long since we’ve seen you, and even longer since we’ve seen our friends in the area.”
“Oh!” Hira grimaces at how startled he sounds, but his mom doesn’t comment. “Oh,” he repeats, hopefully more normally. “How long are you planning to stay?”
“Probably a week or so, as long as everything is fine with your father’s work. You still have the futons and everything for us to stay there, right?”
“Y-yes, of course,” Hira says, his heart racing. His parents haven’t been here once since Kiyoi started living with him. He hasn’t told them anything, and he knows Naho-chan didn’t either. What is he going to do?
“Great! We’ll be there in three weeks, on the twenty-seventh. I can’t wait to see you.”
“You too,” Hira says weakly, but his mom doesn’t seem to notice.
Once he hangs up, Kiyoi eyes him curiously. “Is she coming to visit?” he asks casually, like he doesn’t care at all one way or another.
“Both my parents,” Hira says. “Three weeks from now, staying for about a week.”
“Oh.” Kiyoi frowns just a little bit. “It’s fine, right? We can move things around and hide your weird stalker shrine. I can find somewhere else to stay. They don’t have to know anything.” He turns a cool look on Hira, evaluating his reaction, prepared to find him wanting.
The second he says it, though, Hira’s whole mind and heart rebel. Kiyoi shouldn’t have to hide because Hira has been too cowardly to tell his parents that he’s been living with someone for years. Kiyoi should never have any reason to think that Hira is ashamed of him—as if he could ever be ashamed of someone as amazing as Kiyoi—or that he’s not too important a part of Hira’s life to hide from his family. The only reason he was ever hesitant to tell his parents about Kiyoi was because of his own lack of confidence in their relationship, and now that he almost believes Kiyoi is his to keep, it’s more out of habit than anything else. It’s time that they knew.
“You don’t have to go anywhere,” he says firmly.
Kiyoi looks more than a little surprised but also happy, a smile breaking across his face. “Are you sure?”
“You don’t have to go anywhere,” Hira repeats, “and you don’t have to pretend.” Then uncertainty hits him and he adds, “Unless you don’t want my parents to know? Of course we don’t have to tell them now, or ever, and if you don’t want to meet them—”
“Shut up,” Kiyoi cuts in, rolling his eyes. Once, that wouldn’t have been enough to stop Hira, but he can see better now what hides under Kiyoi’s gruffness.
Hira smiles hesitantly. “Okay.” He wonders what his parents will think. They’ll probably be surprised, more than anything, that he’s found someone to be with, let alone someone as amazing as Kiyoi. Who would ever imagine that an actor working his way to fame, as perfect a human being as Kiyoi Sou, would love someone like him? He can still barely believe it himself most days.
“It’s decided, then.” Kiyoi looks to Hira for confirmation—reassurance, maybe? as though Kiyoi could ever have reason to doubt himself—and Hira nods. He doesn’t know how it’ll go and that makes him nervous, but he’s excited, to be able to show Kiyoi off for once if nothing else.
***
On the evening his parents are due to arrive, Hira makes a nice dinner, which he’s sure Kiyoi will tell him is way more food than they need. He wishes Kiyoi was here to reassure and distract him (as if he doesn’t always wish Kiyoi was by his side), but he had to work, though he promised to do his best to make it home in time for dinner. Hira’s nervous, but he’s not sure about what. Will his parents like Kiyoi? (How could anyone not like Kiyoi?) Will Kiyoi like his parents? Will they mind that he’s had someone living in the house with him without telling them? Will they mind that he’s dating a man? Will they be excited and want to brag about it when it’s important for Kiyoi’s career to keep things quiet? Will they reveal something about Hira that makes Kiyoi rethink being with him?
He jumps when the door opens as he’s setting the table and his dad walks in. “Good to see you, Kazu.”
His mom follows a moment later, smiling when she sees him. “Hello!” Hira comes over and accepts a hug from his mom and a pat on the back from his dad. It’s strange having them here after so long, when he’s gotten used to feeling like an independent adult in his own home, but he is still happy to see them.
He helps them take their bags into what used to be their bedroom, then returns to the living room. “Sit,” he says. “I’ll make you some tea.”
They sit down at the table, and Hira is just about to return to the kitchen when his mom asks, “Kazu, did you set the table for four?”
“Oh, um—” he starts. Right on cue, the door bursts open and Kiyoi comes in, a little breathless like he rushed to get here in time. His cheeks are flushed and Hira is momentarily distracted by how good that makes him look before Kiyoi’s eyes go wide and Hira is reminded of the situation. “Mom, Dad, t-this is, um, K-Kiyoi. We went to high school together.” He knows he needs to say more than that, but it’s all he can manage in the moment, caught off guard.
Kiyoi looks startled too, his cheeks turning redder as he bows in greeting. “Kiyoi Sou. Nice to meet you.” When he stands up, he flashes Hira a look that’s equal parts judgmental and pleading.
“Nice to meet you,” Hira’s mom says, smiling at Kiyoi and then turning curiously to Hira.
He spent the last three weeks thinking about the best way to explain the situation to his parents, but now, put on the spot, every word he mentally rehearsed disappears. All he can manage is to blurt out in a panicked, stuttered rush, “Kiyoi and I are dating. He lives here.”
Kiyoi frowns at him, and his parents do too. “What was that?” his dad asks.
Hira takes a deep breath, trying to calm his racing heart, and goes over to stand next to Kiyoi, painfully aware of his parents’ eyes following him. He takes another deep breath and then determinedly takes Kiyoi’s hand. “K-Kiyoi and I are dating.” Nervous as he is, it sends a thrill through Hira to say that out loud, and to feel Kiyoi squeeze his hand as he does. He and Kiyoi are dating. “He’s been living here for a few years.”
“A few years?” his mom echoes. She sounds surprised but not upset or angry or judgmental, at least not yet.
“Yes. I—”
“Let’s sit down and eat,” Hira’s dad interrupts. “We can discuss it all over dinner.”
“Yes! Dinner!” Maybe once they’re eating, the atmosphere will feel a little less tense.
Hira looks at Kiyoi, who flashes him a small smile. “I’ll be right there.”
Hira brings out food and drinks while Kiyoi goes to put his things down, still brimming with nerves but relieved to have gotten the truth out. He’s done what he needed to do, and he can only wait to see what comes of it. He’s just sitting down when Kiyoi emerges from the bedroom and comes over to join them. Normally, he’d change into more comfortable clothes, but today, he’s stayed in what he was wearing when he came home. He has some makeup on, and Hira thinks he looks incredible, but he wonders what his parents think of it. They don’t know anything about Kiyoi, who Hira only started hanging out with after they moved away. What conclusions are they drawing from their first impressions?
“So…Kiyoi-kun, was it?” Kiyoi nods, and Hira’s mom continues, “You two went to high school together?”
“Yes. We got to be friends in our last year.” It’s strange to Hira to see Kiyoi on his best behavior, the way he never is with him. He’s more soft-spoken, almost earnest, with none of the sulking or the casual insults he throws at Hira (though they feel like terms of endearment to him at this point).
“No wonder we didn’t meet you back then,” Hira’s mom said. “But I’m glad. I didn’t think Kazunari had any friends.”
“He didn’t,” Kiyoi says dryly, then remembers himself and quickly adds, “But once I got to know him, I realized he was an interesting guy.”
“And did you start...dating then?” She’s taking that in stride, it seems, or at least holding back any judgment in front of Kiyoi.
“Well…” That gets a wry grimace from Kiyoi, and Hira can understand why. They really did a terrible job of figuring things out in high school. “We didn’t. We lost touch after high school graduation, but we met again by chance the following year and got together then.” It sounds so simple when he says it that way, though in practice it wasn’t at all.
“What do you do, Kiyoi-kun?” Hira’s dad asks.
“I’m an actor,” Kiyoi says.
“He’s really good!” Hira puts in, lest they think Kiyoi is some pretentious wannabe. “He’s in dramas and commercials, and plays too.”
“Wait a second…” His mom eyes Kiyoi thoughtfully. “Were you in that drama with Anna?”
“Yes!” Hira bursts out before Kiyoi can answer, and Kiyoi nudges him under the table.
His reaction only makes his mom smile. “I don’t remember it well, but I think I liked your character. You must be doing well, then, to appear in such a popular drama.”
“I still have a ways to go, but I’m doing my best,” Kiyoi says humbly. Hira wants to argue, to tell her about Kiyoi’s first lead role in a romantic drama that will start filming soon, but that hasn’t been officially announced yet, so he bites his tongue.
“Well…” Hira’s mom looks back and forth between the two of them. “I wish we’d heard about it sooner, but I’m glad you’re happy together.” His father nods his agreement.
Hira can’t help beaming, as much because it feels good to have his relationship with Kiyoi acknowledged as because he’s glad that his parents have accepted them. He looks at Kiyoi and finds him smiling too, albeit much more normally.
“We look forward to getting to know you better while we’re here, Kiyoi-kun,” Hira’s mom adds. “Now come on, let’s stop being distracted and enjoy this food. You’ve really become such a good cook, Kazu.”
***
Things go well throughout the evening, but Hira is still relieved when his parents go to bed and he can be alone with Kiyoi as usual. “Is it weird, having your parents know you’re sharing a bedroom with someone?” Kiyoi asks as they change for bed, keeping his voice low.
Hira shrugs. “I hadn’t really thought about it.” He stops Kiyoi with hands on his bare arms as he’s about to put his pyjama shirt on. “Do you mind?” he murmurs, lips almost on Kiyoi’s, enjoying the way Kiyoi’s breath catches.
“You’re shameless,” Kiyoi mutters, but he leans into the invitation of Hira’s mouth without hesitation, and they get so carried away with kissing that Hira almost forgets they’re not alone in the house. “Hira,” Kiyoi whines softly, and Hira isn’t sure if it’s a protest or a plea.
Hira pulls him over to the bed, his shirt abandoned on the floor. He loves, even as he still finds it hard to believe it’s real, how Kiyoi gives into him in bed, how he lets Hira push him down onto the sheets and feather kisses over all his exposed skin and dive into the heat of his mouth like he might never come up for air, how his hips jerk up into the touch as Hira’s hand slides into his pants.
“Hira,” Kiyoi whines again, definitely a protest this time. “Wait…” His objection might be more convincing if Hira wasn’t close enough to see his chest rise and fall quickly with his shaky breaths, and if he couldn’t feel Kiyoi getting hard from just the touch of his hand.
“You just have to be very quiet,” Hira murmurs right into Kiyoi’s ear, making him shiver. “You can do that for me, can’t you?”
He’s become so audacious lately and sometimes he still worries about how Kiyoi will react. He shouldn’t, though, because Kiyoi holds his breath for barely a second before he nods. Hira goes for another kiss so that any sounds they might make are muffled against each other’s lips. It’s a shame that he can’t see Kiyoi like this, but it feels so intimate to kiss as he strokes Kiyoi to full hardness, as he stretches him open and pushes into him, drinking down the little gasps he can’t quite hold back until he finally shudders beneath Hira, his mouth going slack against his. It only takes Hira a few more thrusts to come, muffling a soft moan against Kiyoi’s shoulder.
Only after does he stop to admire Kiyoi, his cheeks flushed and his pupils wide, his expression adorably soft like it only gets at times like this. “You were very good,” Hira whispers, and Kiyoi rolls his eyes, but fondly.
When Hira lies down, Kiyoi curls against his side. “Your parents are nice,” he says. “I was—I mean, I didn’t know what they’d be like. I thought they might be weird like you and meeting them would be really awkward.”
“No, it’s just me,” Hira says without taking offense. He knows it’s true and he knows that Kiyoi likes him (Kiyoi likes him!) in all his weirdness.
“And I didn’t know what they’d think of you dating me, or of me being an actor, or…all kinds of things,” Kiyoi continues. “But I guess it’s okay.”
“How could anyone not like you?” Hira asks. Kiyoi scoffs, but he also presses a kiss to Hira’s shoulder, as though maybe he likes hearing that after all. “I wasn’t sure how it would go either,” Hira admits, “but I’m glad it was fine.” He wraps an arm around Kiyoi, feeling warm and comfortable and happy. There’s still a whole week ahead, but he’s feeling good about the way things are going.
***
Kiyoi has to work early the next day but Hira doesn’t, so he has breakfast with his parents. “I’m so glad you’re doing well here,” his mom tells him. “I worried about you being alone, so I’m happy that you haven’t been. You could have told us, though. Did you think we wouldn’t approve?”
Hira shrugs. He used to talk to his parents more than he did to anyone else, but that still wasn’t much, and he got more and more out of the habit once they moved away. His parents have always been good to him, but they never really knew what to do with him, and living apart didn’t help with that. It was easier to not tell them, like he didn’t tell anyone about Kiyoi—as much as a part of him would have liked to shout his love from the rooftops—especially before he really came to accept that he and Kiyoi were together instead of…whatever he’d convinced himself they were until then. (Somehow he can’t remember anymore.)
“I wish you’d talk to me more, Kazu,” his mom says, the disappointment in her voice making him feel guiltier than if she was actually trying to guilt trip him. “We’re still your parents, even if we don’t live together. I hope you don’t hold that against us.”
“N-no!” Hira protests. He catches himself thinking that if his parents hadn’t left, Kiyoi and his friends wouldn’t have spent that summer at his house and he and Kiyoi would never really have gotten to know each other, but that’s definitely not the right thing to say here. “It was c-complicated,” he explains weakly. “With Kiyoi. For a long time, I didn’t…”
“I suppose first love isn’t easy,” his mom says, “especially for a kid like you. But Kiyoi-kun seems like a good boy.”
“He’s the best!” Hira just can’t help himself.
His dad looks a little embarrassed on his behalf, but his mom smiles. “Good. That’s the important thing.”
They eat in silence for a few minutes before it occurs to Hira that he should make something clear. “Did you tell anyone? That I’m d-d-d-dating Kiyoi.” It’s still hard to say, and even after all this time still a little hard to believe.
“No. Why?”
“Don’t tell anyone.” Both his parents frown, and he clarifies, “Not that I’m dating anyone, but that it’s him. It would be a scandal if it got out and I’d never forgive myself if his career was damaged because of me. You know how it is when someone famous is caught dating.”
“Oh, that,” his dad says. “It’s hard to be a celebrity, isn’t it?”
“Wasn’t there a scandal with him before?” his mom asks after a moment. “Now that I think about it, I heard something about him and Anna, maybe last year?”
“That was a lie!” Hira bursts out, loud enough to make his parents jump. “S-sorry. But it was. Anna was caught in a dating scandal and the company of the idol she was seeing tried to distract from it, and they dragged Kiyoi into it. Kiyoi and Anna are just friends!”
“I see.” His mom still looks a bit skeptical. “You trust Kiyoi-kun? He does seem like a good man, but he’s a celebrity surrounded by beautiful people all the time, and celebrities are always getting up to all kinds of things…”
“I trust him! O-of course, if Kiyoi wants to be with someone else, I can’t force him to stay with someone as unworthy as me, but I would fight to keep him because my life would be worthless without him and…” His mumbling trails off as he realizes his parents are giving him funny looks.
“What was that?” his dad asks.
“Nothing,” Hira answers hastily, hoping they didn’t catch too much. “I trust Kiyoi, that’s all. He’s never given me any reason not to.” It’s a little more complicated than that, maybe, but he does know, unbelievable as it is, that Kiyoi doesn’t want anyone but him. He can only hope that will never change.
He’s afraid his parents will make a fuss, but his mom only says, “Okay. You know him best, so I’ll trust him too.”
***
They’re back at the table when Kiyoi comes home that night, dinner long since finished but sitting quietly and drinking tea. Hira stands up to greet Kiyoi, as he usually does. “Welcome home. I missed you.”
The way he says it makes Kiyoi roll his eyes, and he starts to respond, “Gross” as usual, but breaks off quickly, darting a glance in the direction of Hira’s parents.
Hira follows his gaze and finds that his dad is politely not looking at them, but his mom smiles. “Welcome home, Kiyoi-kun.”
Kiyoi awkwardly bobs his head, which is so cute that Hira’s sure his expression gets even sappier; he’s very impressed with Kiyoi’s restraint in not calling him gross. Kiyoi goes to the bedroom and this time Hira follows him. “You’re on your best behavior, huh?” Hira asks once they’re in the room. “I’ve never seen you hold back like that, even in front of work friends.”
Kiyoi looks away to hide his embarrassment. “It’s your parents.”
“It’s cute.” Hira leans against the wall and leers while Kiyoi changes into more comfortable clothes.
“I just want them to like me,” Kiyoi mutters, pretending not to notice Hira’s eyes on him but dressing like he’s showing off for a camera. Hira wishes he had his camera handy to preserve the moment, but at least he enjoys the sight.
“They do,” Hira assures him. “My mom says you seem like a good boy.”
Kiyoi scoffs. “I don’t hear that too often.”
Hira pushes off from the wall, waiting until Kiyoi pulls his shirt over his head to crowd into his space. “You are a good boy,” he murmurs.
For all that Hira has finally, over the last year or so, realized what he can do to Kiyoi when he tries, it still gives him such a thrill to see a flush rise in Kiyoi’s cheeks. “Shut up,” he mutters without even a hint of conviction. “You’re just saying that to make me…”
“I-I’m not!” Sincerity wins out over flirting and Hira says, “You really are! You work so hard and you really care, even when you pretend you don’t, and—”
“Okay, okay,” Kiyoi cuts him off, half-heartedly shoving him away. “You made your point. Now let’s go out there before your parents think we’re doing a lot more than talking in here.”
“We could…” Hira says with a suggestive grin.
Kiyoi rolls his eyes that much more emphatically this time, but he does take a step forward and give Hira a kiss. “Later,” he promises, before brushing past a beaming Hira and out the door.
***
Kiyoi is similarly busy the next few days, and Hira has work too. His parents come to meet Noguchi-san one day but otherwise keep themselves busy, relaxing and visiting friends in the area. It’s nice that the visit seems to be going well, that his parents continue to like Kiyoi and generally approve of the way Hira is living his life. There were some rough times along the way, but he’s happy with how his life is now too. He doesn’t need his parents’ approval, but he’s glad to have it all the same.
Kiyoi’s only day fully off this week is Thursday, but Hira takes the day off work (with deep apologies to Noguchi-san, who just rolls his eyes and says, “Don’t think I can’t do without you” in a way that sounds almost fond) and they go to the zoo together. He loves watching Kiyoi enjoy looking at the animals, and Hira takes as many pictures of him as he does of the exhibits (more, if he’s honest). How could he not, when Kiyoi is cuter than the cutest little penguin or sea otter or meerkat?
“Are you always like this?” Hira’s mom asks after a while.
Hira’s not sure if the question is directed at both of them or only him, but he answers, “Yes” regardless. It’s the truth, after all, and she only needs to look at him to know it.
“Stalker,” Kiyoi drawls, forgetting this time that he’s been trying not to insult Hira in front of his parents. Hira can see the moment he remembers and tries not to grimace and call attention to it, which only makes him cuter.
He doesn’t look over to see what his mom and dad think. It should be obvious at this point that it’s a joke between them, not like in the past when Kiyoi was sometimes cruel to him and Hira couldn’t tell that there was any confused affection underneath it. Besides, it’s the truth that he’s blatantly stalking Kiyoi with his camera. He smiles, in any case, more because he loves Kiyoi than because he’s trying to put on any kind of show for his parents.
They go out to lunch after and Hira notices (because he notices everything) that Kiyoi doesn’t eat much, mostly drinking coffee as he chats with Hira’s mom about his play that finished last month. Hira knows Kiyoi is watching his weight in preparation for that romantic drama role, and also knows he ate a perfectly reasonable breakfast, but he still can’t help fretting. Kiyoi shouldn’t go hungry, and he definitely shouldn’t think he’s anything less than perfect the way he is.
“Do you want some?” he asks when there’s a pause in the conversation, pushing his plate of fries toward Kiyoi, who waves him off. “Are you sure?” he presses. “You’ve barely eaten anything, and the food is good, and you should keep your strength up because—”
“Oh, shut up.” Hira can hear the grudging fondness underlying Kiyoi’s words—or maybe he just knows it’s there even though it’s hard to hear—but he realizes belatedly that his parents might not. This time he does look and sees his mom frown before Kiyoi hastily corrects, “I’m fine. Thanks.” The smile he flashes Hira’s mom looks stiff, but he sounds more sincere as he politely explains, “Hira worries about me too much.”
Hira’s mom isn’t frowning anymore, but she looks at Kiyoi and then at Hira like she’s not sure what to make of that, or of this whole situation. “He has always been a worrier,” she says, still eyeing him uncertainly. Hira smiles at her too, to make sure she knows he’s not bothered by the way Kiyoi talks to him.
The moment passes without further comment and Kiyoi stays on his best behavior as they wander around to do some shopping after lunch. He starts drooping a little after a while, but that’s not surprising since he finished work late last night. He doesn’t complain, just watches as Hira idly looks at some charm bracelets and dreams of buying matching ones for himself and Kiyoi. He doesn’t even say anything when he turns to look at Kiyoi, but his expression is enough to earn him a “You’re gross,” clearly enunciated and loud enough to carry.
Kiyoi must be more tired than he looks because he doesn’t seem to notice what he said until Hira turns to where his parents are looking at keychains nearby. Or rather, they were looking at keychains, but now they’re looking at Kiyoi in surprise and disapproval. Now Kiyoi flushes, and Hira hurries to explain, “I-it’s a j-j-joke. Since high school.”
His mom looks skeptical, but his dad shrugs it off. “High school boys are like that, aren’t they?”
Eager to change the subject, Hira asks, “Are you going to b-buy something?”
“I don’t think so.” Hira is relieved when his mom continues, “Let’s go home.”
As they head to the train station, Kiyoi and Hira walk a little ahead of Hira’s parents. “Sorry,” Kiyoi whispers. It’s not often that Hira hears an apology from him, and it feels uncomfortable and wrong. Kiyoi should never be sorry for anything, let alone for just being himself.
“Don’t be,” he hurries to assure Kiyoi. “You didn’t do anything wrong. My parents will understand and they’ll love you anyway.” And if they don’t? he fleetingly wonders, but he still can’t imagine that they wouldn’t, not when Kiyoi is as perfect as he is. They just need to understand him a little better.
Nobody says anything that evening, in any case, and Kiyoi is if anything adorably soft as he droops toward Hira’s shoulder several times after dinner and then catches himself. On the fourth time, Hira decides he doesn’t care and puts an arm around Kiyoi’s back, pulling him closer so he can pillow his head on Hira’s shoulder. His mom insisted on washing dishes tonight and his dad is looking at his phone, but Hira still feels very bold, sitting in the living room like this where they can both see him with Kiyoi. He hopes they do see, so they can understand that however their impression of Kiyoi may have changed after today, Hira loves him and nothing will change that.
His mom does see them when she comes out of the kitchen, but she only looks at them for a long moment without any particular expression on her face and then says, “I’m going to call it an early night. Thank you both for going out with us today.”
Kiyoi quickly sits up when she starts talking, though he doesn’t pull away from Hira. “Thank you,” he says, perfectly polite, and Hira believes that that will be enough.
***
Kiyoi leaves for work early the next morning, though Hira could’ve sworn he said he didn’t have to leave until after breakfast. He doesn’t argue, anyway, because who is he to tell Kiyoi what to do, or to force him to stay if he doesn’t want to be here? He does panic a little that he’s upset Kiyoi by somehow making him feel he has to be someone he isn’t or by not defending him emphatically enough to his parents, but not nearly as much as he once would have, before he understood that Kiyoi loves him. (Kiyoi loves him!)
He starts making breakfast and his parents quickly emerge from the other bedroom. They only say good morning at first, but when they sit down to breakfast, after they’ve eaten a little, his mom starts, “Kazu…” She looks serious and he waits nervously. Is this about Kiyoi’s behavior yesterday? (Such a silly thing to overreact to, but it’s possible.) Is this about something else? Is there a reason his parents came to visit after so long beyond just wanting to see him and their local friends?
After an uncomfortably long pause, she continues, “Please don’t take this the wrong way, but we want to talk to you about Kiyoi-kun.”
There are a million things Hira wants to say in that moment, from “Please don’t say anything bad about him” to “How dare you think you’re worthy to judge Kiyoi?” but he manages to hold back, barely. He should at least wait to see what his parents want to say to him before getting mad about it.
“What is he really like with you? Is he just putting on a show for us?”
“He’s not!” Hira protests almost the instant she finishes her sentence. “I-I mean, it was a joke, I told you. We’ve known each other since high school. We have a lot of jokes.” It’s the truth, more or less. Maybe at the beginning Kiyoi meant it when he called Hira gross or a stalker, but not, Hira has really understood only recently, for very long at all. Or if he does mean it even now, he means it fondly: “My weird stalker,” or “You’re gross but I love you.” Besides, Hira does stalk Kiyoi with his camera, and he can be creepy and gross; he doesn’t mind Kiyoi acknowledging that.
“It’s not just about the things he said,” his mom elaborates, “though I don’t think those are very nice jokes. The more I think about it, the more I realize how much you take care of him, doing all the cooking and cleaning, and how you hide your relationship because of him. Are you sure he’s not taking advantage of you?”
“N-no!” It’s true that he does take care of Kiyoi, but it’s what Kiyoi deserves, and he wants to do it. “It’s not like that.”
“Of course we just want you to be happy. But are you sure he’s really good for you? I don’t want you to be with him just because you think you wouldn’t be able to find someone else. I’m sure you could if you tried.”
“I would n-never be able to find someone else like Kiyoi! He’s amazing and I’m lucky he’s willing to be with me.” It’s probably the wrong thing to say now, but Hira can’t help himself.
“It’s your choice,” his mom says, though she doesn’t hide her skepticism. “Just don’t feel like you’re stuck because you’ve been together for a long time, or because you’re not very good at talking to people.”
Hira thinks about telling her about Koyama, about how he did have a choice once and he chose Kiyoi, but he doesn’t think he could tell it in a way that would make her understand. (Nobody except maybe Kiyoi’s growing number of fans understands how amazing Hira thinks Kiyoi is, and even then, they don’t know him like Hira does.) In the end, he only says, “I don’t. But I love Kiyoi and I don’t want anyone else.”
“All right, then.” His mom doesn’t sound convinced, but at least she’s willing to let it go.
They don’t talk about it anymore until his parents leave mid-afternoon to meet some friends, but Hira is glad they’re out when Kiyoi comes home at dinnertime. That’s partly because there’s no one around to see him go over and greet Kiyoi with a rather more heated kiss than usual, and partly because Kiyoi looks relaxed once Hira tells him that his parents are out for the evening, so much more than he was yesterday. It’s cute when he tries hard to be good, but Hira doesn’t need that from him.
They talk intermittently over dinner until Kiyoi asks without looking up from the table, “Did your parents say anything about yesterday?”
“W-why would they say anything about yesterday?” Hira asks too loudly.
Now Kiyoi looks at him, his expression communicating, Don’t try to fool me, stupid. “What did they say?”
“My mom was a little worried, that’s all,” Hira tells him. “That you might be taking advantage of me or that I might feel like I have to stay with you because I can’t find anyone else.”
“You could if you wanted to,” Kiyoi says, then adds sharply, “But don’t.”
“I would never!” The response is a reflex, but it makes Hira happy to see Kiyoi smile after he says it. The smile fades after a moment, though, and that worries Hira. “K-Kiyoi?” Kiyoi shoves some salad in his mouth so he has an excuse not to talk and doesn’t meet Hira’s eyes, which only makes him more worried. “Y-you don’t think I would do that, do you? I could never leave you! I don’t want to! My mom just doesn’t understand. But of course if you want to leave, I wouldn’t stop you. You don’t need to feel that you’re stuck with the likes of me when of course you could—”
“Shut up!” Kiyoi snaps, much more emphatically than at lunch yesterday, and without the fondness. “Do you still not understand that I don’t want to leave you? That I’m not just biding my time?”
“I’m sorry,” Hira says meekly. He does understand that, mostly, but it’s still hard to believe sometimes, especially when he gets caught up in his head. “I didn’t mean that.”
“Does your mom know you had someone else you could’ve left me for? You could find someone again. But I—” Kiyoi breaks off and Hira frowns, trying to understand what he wants to say. Kiyoi is still looking down but now he raises his eyes to Hira’s, holding his gaze just long enough for Hira to see that he looks…scared? What on earth does Kiyoi have to be scared about?
“Kiyoi?” he asks again, uncertainly.
“You’re the one who thinks I’m the most amazing person that ever walked the Earth and you’re not worthy of me,” Kiyoi says gruffly. “I don’t think that.”
“But you’re—” Hira starts to protest, but Kiyoi cuts him off.
“Maybe your mom thinks you’re stuck because you make it sound that way. Like you don’t have a choice in being with me.”
“I’m not!” This time Kiyoi doesn’t interrupt, but Hira stops to think about what to say and starts to realize, probably, what Kiyoi is getting at. As hard as it is sometimes for him to understand that Kiyoi loves him and wants to be with him, it’s even harder to understand that Kiyoi has doubts and insecurities too when Hira doesn’t think he has a single thing to be insecure about. He’s not sure he’s understood correctly, but he says hesitantly, “I don’t want to leave you either. Even if I could—can leave, I don’t want to. I love being with you.”
Kiyoi bites his lip, not entirely convinced. “Not just because you like my face?”
“I love your face!” Hira blurts out, then smiles sheepishly. “But no. Because I love you. And I hope my parents can understand that, but it doesn’t change anything if they don’t.”
A battle rages in Kiyoi’s expression between embarrassment, insecurity, and fondness, but the last quickly wins out. He nods like he doesn’t know what to say or doesn’t trust his voice. Hira doesn’t know what else to say either, but he leans across the table to give Kiyoi a kiss, and he thinks that’s enough.
***
His parents get back late enough that they only exchange a few words about their outing before going to bed. Hira gets up first the next morning to make breakfast. His parents join him not long after, and he half expects Kiyoi to run away again, so he’s glad to see him come out in pyjamas as breakfast preparations are winding down. He looks nervous, though he’s trying to hide it, and Hira thinks it’s adorable. “Good morning, Kiyoi,” he says, and his parents echo the greeting, at least being overtly polite to Kiyoi.
They don’t talk until they sit down for breakfast, and then only casual conversation. Maybe his mom really is willing to let the matter drop, or maybe she’s only waiting for the right moment, or maybe she’s decided to only talk to Hira about it and not Kiyoi. It might be easier to have another conversation with only his parents, or to not say anything unless they bring it up again, but he thinks it’s important. Kiyoi deserves better than for Hira’s parents to think he’s something he isn’t—and Hira deserves better too, than to not have his parents approve of this relationship that’s so important to him.
When they’re mostly finished eating, he takes Kiyoi’s hand under the table. His parents probably wouldn’t notice except that it startles Kiyoi a little, drawing their attention. Once they’re looking at him, Hira braces himself and says, “I have something I need to tell you.” He takes in his parents’ curious expressions, then looks at Kiyoi, who nods tightly.
Turning back to his parents, Hira says, “I think you’re misunderstanding my relationship with Kiyoi. I actually misunderstood it too at first. I thought he was so special and I was sure someone like him could never in a million years be interested in me. It took a long time before I realized…” He hesitates, because it feels terribly presumptuous to speak about Kiyoi’s feelings for him, but Kiyoi squeezes his hand and that feels like permission. “…before I realized that he was interested, and an even longer time before I fully understood how he felt about me.”
“A really long time…” Kiyoi mutters, and surely this time the affection in his words must be obvious even to Hira’s parents.
“Maybe it’s not easy to see when you look at us, but it’s not a one-sided relationship. And as for taking advantage of me, well, Kiyoi encouraged me when I was having a hard time finding a job and thought I should give up on photography. And he did try to help with cooking but he was terrible at it.”
“Hey.” Kiyoi shoves Hira lightly with his shoulder, but he doesn’t really sound angry at all.
“What I’m saying is that I am happy.” Hira turns to flash a smile at Kiyoi and finds him looking back, his expression so soft that he’d probably be embarrassed if he knew how much he was giving away. “So you don’t have to worry about me. I’m with Kiyoi because I want to be. Because I love him.”
He’s still looking at Kiyoi, who looks like he wants to melt into the floor now, but he gruffly says, “Me too.” It’s perhaps not the clearest expression of his feelings, but Hira’s mom is smiling now and his dad looks kind of awkward but pleased, so it seems to be enough.
“I’m sorry for misunderstanding you, Kiyoi-kun,” his mother says. “Please take care of our Kazunari.”
Kiyoi bobs his head and mumbles some vague agreement, still adorably embarrassed, and Hira barely resists the urge to pull Kiyoi into his arms or grab his camera and totally ruin the moment. Tomorrow, his parents will be gone and he can go back to being as obvious as ever about how much he’s in love with Kiyoi. For now, he can be as normal as he ever is. He doesn’t have to resist for long, anyway, since Kiyoi lets go of his hand and gets to his feet. “Sorry to rush out, but I have to get ready for work.”
You’re not sorry at all, Hira thinks fondly, but he doesn’t say anything as Kiyoi hurries off.
***
The following morning, they all sit down for one more breakfast together. It’s still a little awkward, maybe, because Hira is an awkward sort of person, but more comfortable than when his parents first arrived. Kiyoi is still making an effort to behave himself, but he’s more himself than he was at the beginning, and Hira likes that. His parents accept him as he is; he wants them to accept Kiyoi too, even if they might not ever see him the way Hira does. (Does anyone?)
Soon after, his parents get ready to leave. “It was great to see you, Kazu,” Hira’s mom says, “and to meet you, Kiyoi-kun. I hope you won’t mind if we visit again some time.”
“Of course,” Kiyoi says politely. “Any time.”
“And do come see us some time when you’re not too busy with work, Kazu. You’re both welcome if you like.”
Kiyoi bobs his head in thanks and Hira says, “I will.”
“Take care of each other,” Hira’s mom concludes, and his dad adds, “We’ll look forward to seeing you on TV again some time, Kiyoi-kun.”
Hira barely restrains himself again from bragging about the drama as Kiyoi only says, “Thank you.”
Then, with a last few goodbyes, they’re off. Hira and Kiyoi stand at the door until they’re out of sight, then go back inside. Only when he’s sure they’re gone does Kiyoi heave a melodramatic sigh. “Please tell me they won’t really come back to visit soon. I can’t do it.”
He’s so cute it makes Hira grin stupidly wide. “Maybe they will. It’s kind of fun having you on your best behavior.”
Kiyoi punches him in the shoulder. “Don’t test me.”
It’s an empty threat and they both know it, so Hira’s grin doesn’t falter. “But I hope they won’t come back too soon,” he says after a moment, stepping close to Kiyoi as he murmurs, “I like having you all to myself.”
The conversation gets lost in a drawn-out kiss, now that they have their privacy back, but as Hira’s lips drift down to Kiyoi’s neck, Kiyoi whispers something that Hira’s pretty sure is, “You always will.”