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Stretching out her hand and touching the metal walls engulfing her, Tingyun couldn’t help but let out an inaudible sigh.Since waking up again, cold and heat had remained awfully distant from her, the hallways surrounding her acclimated to never drop lower than or exceed room temperature. What many would have praised as unobtrusive left her yearning for more.
She had memories of the cold, of course. And yet ever since waking up, countless of experiences she repeated from her past left her with feelings all too different from what they once did. Foods she once savoured now felt bland or left unpleasant aftertastes, while familiar textures seemed rough and unremarkable and even cherished sounds that rang like music in her ears in days gone by made her to cover her ears…
Maybe, the cold would feel the same once she re-experienced it for the first time, but she wouldn’t know as long as she remained in here.
Tingyun remembered a voice – from when she had barely woken up and had yet to regain any feeling in her body – both soft as silk and yet sounding as if it was lecturing her at the same time, telling her about how she’d life with the effects of her near-death for the rest of her life…
Her favourite food would never taste as it did back then, just as those sounds and feelings would not change back to the way they once were, she’d have to live with that. Just as she had to live with losing so many colleagues she once held dear, through no fault of her own, but simply because she was lucky enough to be the one to survive.
And yet when she looked outside the window of the Station, her eyes taking in the countless stars and distant galaxies in the cosmos around her, she breathed a silent sigh of relief, for they were still as she remembered. Still both a vast emptiness and yet filled to the brim with systems and planets.
“Miss Tingyun?” A voice snapped her out of her thoughts, causing the foxian to turn her head towards its source, seeing the familiar face at the end of the hallway.
They were one of the researchers aboard this station taking care of her for a while and while she had seen their face what felt like a hundred times already, Tingyun felt embarrassed to admit that she had never cared to learn their name, the once so chatty and silver-tongued merchant too occupied with her own thoughts and turmoil to interact much with those around her.
“The Astral Express is here to pick you up”, they informed her, only to lead the way when she began to follow them.
The Astral Express… Tingyun had heard a few stories about them in the past. Followers of a long dead Archon. And yet just one of many groups traversing the stars in the name of the Trailblaze. And still, the Astral Express remained renowned in its own right. From what little she could gather after waking up, the crew had gotten so far as to become a Stakeholder in the planet of festivities itself. Yet, compared to another achievement of theirs, even that seemed irrelevant to her, the tale of how they stopped at the Luofu at the time of its greatest need, saving it from a Stellaron Crises and slaying the same Lord Ravager that took so much from her, the one her mind kept circling back to…
The walk to the hangar was longer than she had remembered, and a lot more quiet. Was it because she had accidentally strayed too far away from it while still lost in her memories or due to the millions of thoughts racing through her head at the moment, making everything around her seem just so much slower than usual.
Why did they volunteer to bring her back home without a second thought?
Was it a favor they needed to repay to one of her friends at the Luofu? Or was it meant to indebt the Luofu in the first place? She didn’t know, and yet her merchant brain could easily come up with a dozen or so different motives, each of them less noble than the last.
She ought not to think this way about the people that saved her homeland and offered to bring a total stranger back to it, Tingyun knew that. It was what she told herself any time she caught herself returning to the same suspicions and musing ever since she had first gotten news about their impending arrival.
And yet, when they finally arrived at the Station’s Hangar, the foxian was greeted by the sight of the Astral Express, parked yet ready to take off once again at a moments notice, with the usual crowd of people stationed around the giant room, from engineers doing repairs on various machines to researchers on a break chatting to another. If she hadn’t been informed about anything, all of her thoughts would have been on the giant Train.
But she had already known about the Astral Express herself, what she couldn’t stop thinking about whenever it came up as a topic however, was its crew. She had overheard a couple of details about their appearance. From how there was a woman with long, red hair, usually seen wearing a white dress with a black jacket over her shoulders, to brief descriptions of the three youngsters of the Express. It wasn’t much, and yet Tingyun – who had always prided herself on her eyesight – felt confident it was enough for her to spot them.
And yet, against the large crowd of people around her, even her eyes were at a loss. Her ears were barely better in this situation, finding it difficult to make out anything distinct, the chatter and sounds of dozens of people amalgamating into a constant background noise.
That was until a single metallic sound pierced the layer of everyday sounds, immediately drawing the foxian’s attention towards its source, only to be greeted with an uncommon sight.
“Caelus- Caelus not now. We’re supposed to look for someone.” In her view, there stood a young, pink haired woman, trying her best to pull a young man stuck headfirst in a trash can out of it, only for her attempts to ultimately prove futile. The girl let out a tired sigh as she took a step back and began tapping her foot impatiently, looking around the huge area out of boredom.
And yet, just as Tingyun’s attention started moving onwards to different scenes, a sharp gasp pulled her gaze back to the woman, her eyes wide as if she had just seen a ghost as their eyes met for a brief moment.
Almost immediately, she began pulling on the boy’s jacket once again, urgently whispering something to him before his head shot upwards and out of the bin, gaze immediately focussing on the foxian as well, a small piece of trash still stuck in his hair, the contrast between his serious expression and the scene just a moment before surely enough to have made the merchant laugh another time.
“Tingyun? How?” The question escaped his lips, somewhere between shock and disbelief, mouth remaining agape for a split-second before he violently shook his head, as if trying to focus once again, quickly turning to his companion before whispering something to her even Tingyun couldn’t pick up on. Yet, judging from his expression, she couldn’t help but feel it were words of caution…
Did they know her? Or well… Her?
Tingyun had heard about how her likeness had been stolen in order to blend in on the Luofu and about how the Express had helped to quell the Stellaron Crises there, so it wouldn’t be too far-fetched to assume they had encountered her.
If that was the case, Tingyun understood why they seemed to recognize and know her name, and yet their shocked reactions… were more difficult to understand.
“Miss Tingyun!” The girl, or “March”, if the boy’s calls after her while trying to catch her by the arm were anything to go by, sprang into action with no sign of caution, rushing towards her with the speed of a hundred starskiffs. “Miss Tingyun, you’re alive! I thought we would never see you again!”
Even if involuntary, Tingyun felt herself take a step backwards, slightly overwhelmed by the sudden onslaught of questions and statements she found herself subjected to. The girl, for her part, seemed to notice, trying to compose herself a bit before finally being caught up to by her companion, who quickly grabbed her by the arm and pulled her back, positioning himself between the two of them, seemingly conflicted as he forced his excitement to take a backseat while trying his best to remain cautious.
“I’m… surprised to be alive as well”, the merchant responded after a brief pause, putting on a small smile as she hoped not to show any of the worries plaguing her mind. Immediately noticing a drop in wariness in the grey haired man in front of her, only to crush whatever relief the two of them had the next time she opened her mouth.
“Excuse me for asking so blatantly, but… Do we know each other?”
For a brief moment, the girl’s smile dropped, only to quickly recover as she moved to respond with – what seemed to be – her usual amount of energy. And yet her companion's expression never changed back, growing more dejected as he seemed to slowly lose himself in his thoughts.
“Ah right. It makes sense you might not remember. You went after a lot of things, after all. We’re March 7th and Caelus from the Astral Express”, she introduced themselves while pointing at herself and her partner, “We met on the Luofu’s Port, you were our guide before you were replaced by the Impostor.”
“...I-”, the foxian tried to find the right words to lessen the blow, only to find herself quickly interrupted when the young man called Caelus finally opened his mouth to speak again.
“You never made it back to the Luofu…” His realization escaped his lips, immediately causing a brief, shock-induced silence on March 7th’s part as her eyes darted towards him.
“No, she-”, and then, they locked back onto her widening ever so slightly as she breathed a weak ah.
Almost immediately, a heavy silence set in between the three of them, the girl that had up until just a moment ago brimmed with energy pressing her lips together until they formed a thin line, unable to find the right words to continue.
“I’m sorry, but… the Tingyun you appeared to have met during your journey… was not me.” It was difficult not to feel sorry for them, not only had they had to go through the experience of losing a friend, but then had to find out they were never one in the first place. And no matter how neutral she tried to sound, her emotions broke through her usually calm mask, each word that came out of her mouth a struggle.
Tingyun expected the silence to continue for a lot longer, her mind starting to go over different possibilities and how to move forward without too much awkwardness, when the boy suddenly clapped his hands together, grabbing both of their attentions before beginning to speak, “In that case, my name is Caelus and this is March 7th, we’re both part of the Astral Express.”
“Caelus. I already introduced ourselves.” March chimed in with a deadpan expression.
“You did? Sorry, I wasn’t listening”, the boy answered with a sheepish grin, scratching the back of his neck before quickly turning back towards the foxian. “Anyway. Miss Himeko told us to accompany someone back to the train and that we would recognize them when we saw them, so I hope it’s alright to assume she was referring to you?” He offered a small smile, only for her to quickly return one as well.
“I have been told that the Astral Express would come and pick me up”, the merchant confirmed, noticing a mischievous smile sneak onto his face as he nodded along as if he was the main character in a detective novel slowly collecting pieces to solve the big puzzle, turning to the girl besides him.
“That does indeed fit the target of our mission, do you think Himeko was talking about her or should we look around some more?”
March, for her part, didn’t seem thrilled about the prospects of playing along in his performance, blinking at him in confusion before finally opening her mouth to respond in an unsure manner. “That’s because… she is? Caelus, who else could Miss Himeko have been talking about?”
“That is indeed an interesting question. My eyes can’t spy any other obvious individual, but maybe they’re hiding among the crowd. We should move out to do some reconnaissance posthaste-”
“Please come with me, Miss Tingyun. I’m going to accompany you to the Express now”, the girl cut him off when she heard enough of his detective monologue, shifting her attention over to the woman before turning around and signaling her to come with her.
Even with her more… more muted enthusiasm post-revelation, Tingyun found March to be an avid conversationalist, managing to talk to the foxian for the entirety of their way to the Train, requiring varying amounts of input from her conversation-partner as the girl gave her a brief rundown of who they were and what happened on the Luofu.
Caelus, for his part, decided to stay out of their conversation. For a brief moment it had seemed as if he took the news about her not knowing either of them surprisingly well, introducing himself before annoying his colleague. And yet it didn’t take long for him to grow more quiet, still making sure to offer small smiles whenever either of them glanced back at him, as if trying to reassure them, only to lose himself in thoughts almost immediately after. Lagging behind them by a few feet, his gaze fixed onto each object they passed, the metal walls and corridors she had grown so tired of these past few weeks somehow still capturing his attention, a reminiscent smile adorning his lips the few times she glanced back at him.
And yet, soon enough, the three of them arrived in front of what the merchant could only assume was the Astral Express, the stories about how much it resembled an old steampowered train now exaggerating in the slightest, as even Tingyun caught herself asking herself how it managed to traverse the stars, having to remind herself that it was as much of a space-travel capable ship as the very research station they had currently made a halt at.
The remaining members of the Express all carried themselves in a dignified manner, introducing themselves to her the same way they’d do to a stranger, and although the man going by Welt Yang made sure to inform her about how he had accompanied March and Caelus onto the Luofu and had met the being that had taken her name and appearance, there didn’t seem to be any awkwardness in the way he spoke to her.
“Please excuse the two of them if they carry themselves in an awkward manner around you, Miss Tingyun. They’re just as glad to see you well as I am. We have heard the way your companions on the Luofu talked about you in your absence, and while we may not have truly met in the past, I’m certain they’re eager to get to know you as well.” The man spoke in a calm voice, a formal smile on his lips as she gave him an understanding nod.
“Thank you for your kind words, the two of them have been nothing but welcoming so far”, Tingyun responded, hoping her voice allowed her appreciativeness to come through. So far, none of them had been anything but kind to her, more so than what she could have expected, and while those Nameless that had thought they had known her seemed quite shaken by the revelation of when she had fallen victim to the Lord Ravager, they appeared to try their best to keep their feelings wrapped up for her sake. From Mr Yang in front of her, to the girl March who filled their walk together with a constant stream of words as if her life depended on it.
And yet there continued to be one outlier. Though formally introducing himself to her, Caelus made few attempts to speak to her afterwards. Tingyun couldn’t blame him, it wasn’t as if she did much about bridging the awkwardness between them either, her mind having started to yearn for a few quiet moments alone for herself not shortly after meeting them. Not like she was going to admit or ask for them, not wanting it to seem as if she was growing tired or exhausted because of them, and yet each moment spent conversing made it more obvious that she’d need some time to fully return to her normal self… if she ever was to return to form in the first place.
“Do we have another guestroom for Miss Tingyun?” The boy’s voice suddenly pierced the conversation, only for a sheepish expression to crawl onto his face when he realized he interrupted his fellow Nameless, the question having slipped past his lips while he was lost in thought.
And yet, before he had the chance to apologize, the red haired woman jumped on the opportunity to discuss her lodging, “There should be one or two more rooms available. They’re past the party-car, just take the first unlocked one.”
“I understand that you must have had an exhausting day behind you, Miss Tingyun. Caelus, would you be so kind and give her a quick tour and show her to her room?” The man chimed in, pushing his glasses up his nose ever so slightly while speaking, only for his eyes to quickly fixate on the grey haired boy, his expression showing surprise for a brief moment before he seemingly collected his bearings in the blink of an eye and gave them a quick nod.
“This is the party-car. It was originally the meeting-car, but a previous member of the express decided it was too big for meetings between so few people and converted it into this. The robot staffing the bar is Shush… if you want something to drink just tell them and they’ll make it for you”, Caelus explained as they moved into the next car, his voice trailing off towards the end as an awkward expression snuck onto his face.
“You… like to drink tea, right? I… don’t know if he can brew that, so if you want one… tell one of us and we’ll try to make you one.” He scratched the back of his neck, only for his eyes to widen for a split-second as his mouth flew open again, “Oh, don’t tell Himeko though. She’ll try to get you to drink her coffee instead- Not like it’s bad, it’s just… The bitterness needs time to grow accustomed to.”
Hearing him frantically try to warn her without offending anyone, drew a brief chuckle out of her, just barely noticeable enough to make him stop to collect himself. “Thank you for your words of advice, I’ll make sure to keep them in mind. The same goes for your offer.”
Taking a quiet moment to look around, she couldn’t help but notice all of the large windows surrounding them, offering a serene view of the innumerable stars surrounding them on all sides, the foxian not even having noticed they left the Space Station already until now, as she felt her old self take over and appreciate the scenery for but a fleeting moment. Not the silver tongued merchant from before the incident, but much more a Tingyun from years earlier, one that couldn’t help but look on in awe at anything to do with the cosmos…
Noticing the conversation drying up and the heavy silence they had kept at bay so far crawling up and enveloping them, the girl spoke up once again, “Is that what you have been told or have you grown accustomed to the flavour yourself?.”
“Me?” A brief chuckle escaped his lips, “No. Not yet. But we’re trying. Though if you’re that curious I could ask Himeko to brew you a cup.”
The foxian gracefully declined his offer, having heard enough about its taste did make her curious about whether the taste of coffee would be any different from how she remembered, and yet maybe it would be best to try out a normal dose first.
The remaining part of their tour went over relatively quietly, the two of them circling back towards the subject whenever the silence threatened to grow too heavy. For once, she had a lighthearted conversation, one where it didn’t really matter what she said and while there was nothing to gain out of it, no important information or deal to be had, Tingyun was the first to admit that it was a nice change of pace. The past few weeks had been full of emotionally heavy conversations, whether between herself and another person or just within the confines of her own mind.
No matter how less taxing her talk with Caelus was, by the time she arrived at her own temporary quarters, the Foxian couldn’t help but feel exhausted. She sat down on the bed, a heavy sigh escaping her lips as her gaze drifted towards the window. Once again drawn to the stars like a moth to light, the unchanged and constant view a reminder of the beauty she once knew, leading her to dream that, perhaps, some feelings could still be reclaimed.
WIthout even noticing, her hand had moved towards the bed frame, her fingers running over the material as a small smile crawled onto her lips.
The material felt nice.
Maybe she’ll end up enjoying her time with the Express, after all.