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Harry and Hermione arrived at the Ministry of Magic. Draco handed them the Daily Prophet, which had the very clear, moving picture of the thief. Draco’s hand brushed Hermione’s as he passed her a pen and his delicate skin flushed a bright red.
Harry stated in horror at the image of his best friend, heart breaking at the mischievous smile on Ron’s face. He had grown up around the Weasley family and despite them trying to hide it, he knew all about their more seedy activities. Harry had hoped they’d be wise enough to not get caught.
“Potter, if you’re not going to listen to your assistant then you shouldn’t have one!” Draco whined. “Your jobs are on the line here. You both came in late almost every day in the past two weeks and haven’t taken a single overnight mission since you were hired.”
Hermione and Harry exchanged guilty looks. Each time they had wondered if it would ever happen again. It wasn’t like they had FEELINGS for each other. They were just… best friends? Fuckbuddies? Who knew anymore.
“Really, I expect better from you Granger. I have been informed that we are leaving in twenty minutes to hunt down this criminal or we will all lose our jobs.”
Hermione contemplated what they would do when they found Ron. She had meant it when she promised that they would be friends forever, but she needed this job and Ron was a criminal. Maybe if they could get him to come quietly he wouldn’t be given Azkaban.
Twenty minutes later, the three apparated to the street outside Ron’s house. They had been owling back and forth since school ended, so all they needed were the return addresses on the letters. Hermione hadn’t kept hers but Harry had a shoebox full.
*a change in point of view*
Shit. Shit shit shit fucking shit.
Molly was going to murder him. No, she was going to make Ginny murder him, which was so much worse.
The telltale pop of apparation was audible through his Ring camera. He knew the aurors were coming but he thought he had more time.
Thankfully, he had just finished his makeover. He checked himself out in the mirror. Even through the truly terrible patchy black box dye hair, he was unrecognizable.
The twins had taught him the muggle art of pretending to be someone else years ago. As the disguise masters of the Weasley crime family, they showed him how to change his face shape, coloring, eye color, and even more through muggle beauty products.
Ron had a full face of beautiful makeup on. Perfectly applied contour and foundation covered his telltale freckles and made his face appear rounder. His eyeliner was brought to a wicked point and, although he mourned his trench coat and breakaway shirt, a rumpled black dress was now accentuating his muscular frame.
He heard his front door being knocked down and escaped out the back door, a backpack full of trench coats, breakaway shirts, and a makeup palette.
He got about a block away before realizing he had forgotten his wand in its super-secret hiding spot that only his best friend in the world knew about. He should tell Harry that he needs a place to stay.
Ron looped back to his house, still in full drag, and arrived to the door repaired. He avoided the sight line of his doorbell and crawled in through an always-unlocked window.
*another change in perspective*
Harry had been standing in the doorway to Ron’s room for five minutes. This was his best friend’s place that he was about to ransack, and for what? For this stupid job?
And then a beautiful woman crawled through Ron’s window. Beautiful in the traditional sense, of course. Harry had only ever thought one woman was beautiful, and it was Hermione. But even Hermione wasn’t nearly as gorgeous as Ron…
No. Nope. Shutting that train of thought right down. Ron was Harry’s best friend. He couldn’t ruin that over whatever this was. Besides, Ron was a wanted criminal.
But that didn’t stop him from imagining stealing away to the countryside with Ron, kissing his perfect lips…
The woman was rooting around for something. She clearly knew the room well. A shot of jealousy pumped through Harry and before he knew it, he had grabbed her by the wrist and pinned her to the wall, leaving the drawer she had been rummaging in wide open.
The woman looked into his eyes and… those eyes were familiar. Icy blue and yet warm, somehow.
*yet another change in perspective*
Ronald Weasley was freaking out. His best friend had him pinned to the wall and was looking directly into his eyes and this was weirdly a little hot?
Okay, a lot hot. This is a lot hot.
Pull it together, Ron. He reached out his foot and nudged his wand closer to him, stopping when Harry’s eyes snapped to the motion.
“No. That’s not your wand. That’s Ron’s. And I’m the only person he told about that…”
Then recognition dawned in Harry’s eyes.
“Ron?”
“Hi.”
Neither of them knew who started it but suddenly they were kissing and Ron’s makeup was smudging on Harry’s hands and Ron was running his hands through Harry’s hair.
They pulled apart and stared at each other before realizing that there were still other people in the house. The gasp from the doorway also contributed.
Hermione, with a look of shocked joy, took in the clearly just-made-out faces of her two best friends.
“I guess you’ll want to run away together then?” She asked, smiling.
Both boys looked at each other and then away, imagining the rest of their lives together.
Harry grinned. “Yeah. I think so, anyway. If he’ll have me.”
Hermione smiled, “Then you’ll need somebody to cover your tracks. How about a woman on the inside?”
As voice piped up from around the corner. “And her newly promoted partner!”
Draco had an uncharacteristic, almost dopey smile. Now that Ron was paying attention, Hermione and Draco had clearly been making out.
Hermione hugged her best friends goodbye and, after some consideration, asked “Friends forever?”
Both boys responded in unison, “Friends forever.”
Harry became the one with knowledge of the inside for the Weasley crime family.
Hermione and Draco were invited to every holiday for helping cover up the crimes.