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*
Guilt follows Langa into the tallest snowy slopes of Canadian mountains. It has him acting clumsier than usual. Forgetful. Recklessly stubborn.
Several snowboarders point, cackling to themselves when Langa, fully geared-up, banks onto an easily recognizable icy patch.
He manages to twist, avoiding a rough landing.
Langa pries off his borrowed, bright blue helmet while sitting up, panting hard and open-mouthed.
Hot tears sting the corners of Langa's eyes.
Reki...
It wasn't Reki's fault, no.
No, no, Langa is the one who didn't explain leaving for Canada, for home, after the planned graduation ceremony in Okinawa, until the very last minute... Langa is the one who kissed an already confused and upset Reki in the middle of the airport terminal... Langa is the one who ran.
His leather-lined glove clutches over the space of Langa's heart.
Reki...
This feeling...
*
He rides down on the lift, making it to a lower slope. His mom's number buzzes on Langa's phone.
Langa notices her by the cleared out walking path, smiling patiently, and then —
"... Miya?"
What looks like Miya anyway, dressed in a green-and-black insulated coat with hooded ears, argues lowly with Shadow. Shadow's muscles exposed to the Canadian cold. His nose running. Further up, Cherry Blossom, wearing an expensively tailored snowsuit, tuts behind Joe in padded boots.
Joe tries to placate, to reach for the guy angrily climbing closer up to a dumbfounded Langa.
A guy with reddish-orange, tufted hair.
The mixture of shocked discomfort and dread fills Langa.
Reki jerks out from Joe's reach, ignores Shadow's yelling, and unsteadily approaches —
Reki — here, trudging in the newly fallen snow — Reki's HERE?
Langa's shock completely breaks apart, fracturing like an icy layer over deep mountainous snow, when Reki's hands shove. He shoves at Langa. Reki's footing slippery. He doesn't seem to care, shoving Langa, breathing harshly with Reki's upper lip curled. Frosty air reddens his skin.
With another angered shove, Reki does slip, and Langa instinctively grabs him by the front of Reki's bib snow-pants, getting them upright.
"I hate this, Langa."
Reki's voice, edging on breaking, hits Langa as if it was deep, submerging, and freezing water. Numbing him.
Langa wants... to say something.
He can't even manage Reki's name out of his throat.
"I knew exactly what I was gonna tell you as soon I got on Cherry's private AI jet," Reki says, strained. "And then... I saw you just now."
Langa tentatively lets Reki go, almost expecting more shoving.
Nothing.
With one gloved hand, Langa yanks off his blue-tinted snowboarding goggles.
Langa's mouth hangs slowly open.
"Reki..."
"No," Reki interrupts, grim-faced. "You really hurt me this time, Langa. You don't... get to freakin' kiss me and leave on a plane without explaining."
The numbness feels like it has gone everywhere...
Taking over everything in Langa...
And yet, Langa's eyes burn.
"Do you hate me, Reki?" he murmurs, too terrified to meet Reki's stare.
"No."
It's a breathless and immediate answer, unmistakably honest, and Langa nearly collapses.
"Reki, I..."
"But that means I need to hear you say you won't." Say you won't ever hurt me like that again, Langa. Say you won't run away again, Langa.
Langa nods frantically, his head bowed.
"Okay, Reki. I... I won't." Langa rubs the corner of his eye leaking hot tears, braving a glance up. "I won't again. Mm'sorry."
It takes another moment before Reki's expression fades from gruffness.
He smiles close-lipped.
Instead of offering to slap hands together and bump fists, Reki grabs onto Langa and hugs him one-armed. Without a word. He thumps Langa's back. Still processing the emotion, and Reki's comforting hug, Langa decides to hug Reki with one arm too. Their chins and heads jostle in.
It happens so fast, but too-slow... when Reki leans out, Langa feels a pair of dry and wind-chapped lips brush his.
Returning the kiss Langa left him behind with...
"It's too late to take it back," Reki says hoarsely, smiling wider and eyeing Langa's astonished face.
"Then I won't, Reki."
Langa doesn't even think about his answer, and Reki's eyes light up. Reki's cheeks a much more telltale red than the cold weather. He finds himself caught in another of Reki's hugs, chest-to-chest, as Reki gleefully yells down to the others over Langa's shoulder, to Cherry Blossom taking a call, to Joe reluctantly shaking his head, to Shadow being told to hurry up and cover Miya's eyes and ears and everything else —
"Eheh! It's about to get too hot to handle!" —
And Langa finds the patience long enough to wait for Reki to turn back, eagerly leaning in, Reki's mouth opening under the soft pressure of their third kiss. All of the freezing cold, Langa's numbness, the guilt... they melt away with Reki's constant and pleasantly real heat.
What a feeling.
*