Archive of Our Own

Haejoon is going to kill Eunyung. This time he’s seriously going to kill him.

The reason why is simple: he’d been woken up in the middle of the night by a phone call from an unknown number. Reluctantly and bleary eyed he’d picked up the phone and mumbled something like “what” or “hello” to the other line. His sleep-addled mind immediately cleared up when the words that he picked up were “...Eunyung Baek… injured… critical….” at which point it became evident that he should be paying rapt attention to the information being fed to him.

He listened as the caller rattled off the location of the hospital and various pieces of information about Eunyung’s condition — it seemed he’d been severely beaten, possible blunt force trauma, and a chance of internal bleeding — as Haejoon haphazardly threw on his clothes and rushed out the door of his apartment.

Before he hung up the phone with the nurse he asked her why she called him about Eunyung, they weren’t family, to which the nurse politely answered, “Because you’re written down as his emergency contact, is that a mistake?”

In short, he was going to kill Eunyung. Not because he got severely hurt — well, that was certainly part of it — but because who sets someone they haven’t talked to in a year as their emergency contact?

After Haejoon had graduated, they exchanged a couple of texts here and there, but very soon after Eunyung graduated himself their messages tapered off into radio silence. It wasn’t that Haejoon didn’t want to talk to Eunyung per say, or even that he necessarily felt awkward texting him after so long without communication. It was just that he almost expected to randomly run into him at a convenience store or something one day, and they’d naturally fall into a new pattern without having to figure one out themselves.

Haejoon hits the gas, internally cursing Eunyung for his impeccable ability to end up in the worst situations at the most inopportune of times.

Upon entering the hospital, Haejoon marches straight to Eunyung’s room immediately after receiving it from the receptionist and slams the door open. At the sound, Eunyung cracks open an eye and quickly begins to look like a deer in headlights. Haejoon storms to his side and grabs him by his collar and yells, “What the fuck is wrong with you?!”

Eunyung blinks at him, and Haejoon, belatedly realising that there’s a nurse in the room with them, lets go of his vice grip on Eunyung and sits down by Eunyung’s bedside.

Haejoon repeats, “What the fuck is wrong with you,” this time in a more level tone.

“I’ll leave you two alone,” the nurse interjects before offering an awkward smile and shuffling out of the room.

Haejoon stares at Eunyung. Eunyung stares back. The door slides shut with a click.

“Well?” Haejoon says.

“Well what,” Eunyung responds, and his voice comes out raw and croaky.

“What the fuck is wrong with you.”

Eunyung looks to the side, “I have no idea what you mean.”

Haejoon’s eye twitches. He takes a deep breath, “What the fuck happened to you? And, why am I your emergency contact?”

“I just had a run in with some guys who don’t like me. That’s all,” Eunyung responds in that nonchalant way that he often does, like he thinks that nothing that happens to him really matters. He takes a pause before he answers Haejoon’s second question, “Who else was I supposed to put down?” This he says in a quieter voice in a way that suggests to Haejoon that, despite its vagueness, this answer wasn’t quite a deflection.

For the first time since he marched into the room, Haejoon takes in Eunyung’s condition: he has bandages wound tightly around his head, a black eye and a bust lip. One of his arms was in a sling. Despite Eunyung being usually very animated, he’d barely moved since he’d arrived, which suggested that he was far more injured than he was letting on.

“”That’s all?”” Haejoon responds incredulously, “Do you think I’m blind?”

Eunyung scoffs, “Are you?”

Haejoon looks down at the ground, “I thought you were done fighting people.”

For the first time since Haejoon had arrived, Eunyung raises his voice, “I did! It’s those fuckers that attacked me! It wasn’t my fucking fault.”

Haejoon looks back up. His eyes widen slightly, “Right. Sorry.”

“Don’t apologise,” Eunyung says simply. Haejoon says nothing.

They sit in a silence that is neither companionable nor uncomfortable for a few minutes before Haejoon abruptly stands up, “I’m going to go talk to the nurse.”

“Okay,” Eunyung responds and closes his eyes.

Haejoon slides the door open and looks around. He sees a nurse and walks up to her, “Excuse me, could I ask about Eunyung Baek’s condition?”

“Ah, you’re Haejoon, correct?”

“Yes.”

“Well, currently his condition seems stable but we’re going to keep him overnight to observe him. After that he should be able to go home.”

“He’ll need to rest for a while, right?”

“Yes, he was seriously injured after all.”

“For how long will he have to rest?” Haejoon presses.

“He’ll probably have to refrain from any strenuous activity for a while. He fractured his right arm so he can’t do any heavy lifting for at least six weeks. He also needs to be careful not to aggravate any of his other injuries until they heal, which will probably take about two weeks.”

“Okay, thank you,” Haejoon thanks the nurse and walks back to Eunyung’s room.

“What’s your address?” He demands immediately after he comes back into the room.

“What?” Eunyung opens his eyes again.

“Are your keys here?” Haejoon ignores Eunyung’s confusion as he walks over to where all of Eunyung’s personal belongings have been placed.

“Why the fuck do you need to know that?”

“Just tell me.”

Eunyung really must be out of it, because he relinquishes it almost immediately.

“Thanks, I’ll be right back,” Haejoon says as he fishes out the keys to Eunyung’s apartment from his bag.

“Wha—” Eunyung began, but Haejoon had already exited the hospital room.

When Haejoon returns to the hospital, he’s carrying a duffel bag full of Eunyung’s clothes, a toothbrush, and various other things he might need for a six week stay.

As he approaches Eunyung’s room, the nurse walks out and spots him.

“It may be best to leave him for now. He just fell asleep.”

“Ah, okay. I’ll just wait out here then.”

“Maybe it’d be better if you went home? His condition is stable so there’s nothing to worry about.”

“No. I’ll stay here, I can’t have him running from me…” he says, boring a hole into the part of the floor he was staring at, as if the floor were Eunyung.

“...Okay. Well, goodnight!” The nurse says, a little off-put by Haejoon’s intensity.

“Thank you, you too,” Haejoon responds as the nurse walks away.

Haejoon lays down across the chairs that line the wall, propping the duffel bag under his head as a pillow, and drifts off into sleep.

𖦹

“What? I’m not going to your house!” Eunyung gawks at Haejoon and his duffel bag full of Eunyung’s stuff slung over his shoulder.

“Yes you are. You’re injured,” Haejoon states, grabbing Eunyung’s left wrist to try and pull him out of bed.

“Ow! Fucker, that hurts! I can look after myself!”

“I don’t trust you. Come home with me.”

Eunyung struggles to rip his wrist from Haejoon’s hold, “Fucker! Did you get stronger?! Let me go!”

“Come home.”

Eunyung stops struggling, considering contending their physical prowess as a losing battle. He’s content to continue to argue, however. “It’s not my home, why would I go there?!”

“So I can make sure you don’t get more hurt! This is the worst I’ve ever seen you. Please,” Haejoon slowly droops the longer he goes on speaking, at which point Eunyung lets out an exasperated sigh.

“How long are you going to keep me with you, then?”

“Six weeks.”

“Six— are you fucking kidding?!””

“No. That’s how long the fracture will take to heal,” Haejoon levels Eunyung with a very serious expression.

“You’re kidding me,” Eunyung looks well and truly shocked, “Fine. But no longer than six weeks!”

“Thank you,” Haejoon lights up immediately at the agreement, smiling at Eunyung as he lets himself be guided out of the hospital.

𖦹

“You’re apartment is fucking spotless!” Eunyung marvels, seemingly offended by the cleanliness.

Haejoon settles the duffel bag onto the kitchen counter. “Yours was pretty clean too.”

Eunyung looks off to the side. “Yeah, well. It’s not as clean as yours, anyway.”

“It’s still nice,” Haejoon smiles, “The sofa’s a pullout so you can just use that, you’ll have to convert it back every morning though,” Haejoon says, gesturing to the sofa just a few feet away.

“Okay, thanks,” Eunyung says, hoisting the duffel back onto his left shoulder and collapses onto the sofa, letting the strap of the bag slip off his shoulder. He pulls his phone out of his jacket pocket and starts tapping away. “When do you wake up for college?” Eunyung asks without looking up from his phone.

“5am,” Haejoon answers simply.

Eunyung’s eyebrow twitches but he doesn’t comment any further, instead he puts his phone to his ear as it begins to ring. “Hey, Seongmin-hyung? Cancel all my appointments, I can’t do them anymore. Yes, all of them. I got beat up. No, it’s fine. Seriously! I’m not there anyway. Six weeks or so, fractured my arm. Sorry for the trouble. Okay, bye.” Eunyung ends the call and drops his phone on the sofa with a sigh.

“Who was that?” Haejoon asks, walking over and handing Eunyung a can of soda.

“My agent. God, this sucks!” Eunyung groans, throwing his head back against the back of the sofa. Belatedly, he accepts the soda.

“You’re still modelling?”

“Yeah, and I just landed my first major role in a drama. This sucks!” Eunyung repeats, raising his voice at the end.

Haejoon sits down next to Eunyung and picks up the remote from the arm of the sofa. “Wanna watch a movie?” he asks.

“Sure,” Haejoon responds, opening his soda can, “As long as it’s not a horror movie.”

𖦹

After living together for a week, they settle into a routine. Haejoon woke up in the morning and, for the first time in two years, saw breakfast prepared for him at the table. He’d spun around to see Eunyung sleeping soundly on the pull-out sofa and it really felt, for a moment, that they were back in that house. Haejoon ate the breakfast that day, and the next day, and the day after that. Even if he didn’t think it was necessary for Eunyung to cook anything for him, he wasn’t going to argue over a meal much nicer than he could cook.

After two days, Haejoon makes lunch in the morning for Eunyung. It’s simple meals, but it’s always gone when he comes back. Eunyung doesn’t mention the meals to Haejoon either. It was just something they did.

In the afternoon, Eunyung would cook dinner with Haejoon’s help with some of the things that were more difficult to do one-handed. They’d eat together in silence and afterwards they’d part ways and do their own thing. It was a silent cycle of exchanges they did for each other.

To be honest, Haejoon didn’t really like that they never spoke a word to each other other than Eunyung telling him what Haejoon needs to buy at the store. He understood that there was an air of awkwardness to talk so casually after two years of barely any contact but weren’t they just fine the first day Haejoon brought Eunyung home? When Haejoon looked at Eunyung from across the table at dinner, he could tell he was down-trodden. Who wouldn’t be? Not only did he get severely injured but it seriously impeded his ability to do his job. Haejoon knows that Eunyung was probably so excited for the drama, even if he would’ve acted nonchalant about it. Not talking wasn’t going to help him at all, but how do you start rebuilding a relationship that was always shaky at best, anyway?

Haejoon swallows a spoonful of food, “Hey, after this, wanna watch a movie?”

Haejoon blinks at him. Raising an eyebrow he asks, “Is that the only way you know how to comfort people?”

“Ah, well…” Haejoon starts awkwardly.

“Whatever, yeah. Let’s watch a movie.”

So, after dinner they settle on the sofa and put on a random romcom neither had seen before. Eunyung laughs at the plot summary, “This is so ridiculous! What sort of fucking plot is that?!”

Haejoon rolls his eyes and presses play. “It’ll be entertaining.”

Eunyung snorts, “Sure. Entertainingly infuriating, probably.”

Due to Eunyung’s seemingly established distaste of the movie, it surprises Haejoon when he looks over about halfway through and sees Eunyung leant forward, paying rapt attention to everything happening. Haejoon smiles affectionately and turns back to the movie.

During the final act of the movie, Haejoon hears sniffles. Turning once again to Eunyung he sees his eyes watering, not quite crying yet, but he was sure he would be soon enough. The complete contrast between Eunyung’s previous attitude and his current emotions make Haejoon let out a small laugh as he turns back to view the inevitable third act break-up scene that had Eunyung on the verge of tears.

At the end of the movie, Eunyung is wiping tears from his eyes. “Entertainingly infuriating, huh?” Haejoon mocks.

“Shut the fuck up!” Eunyung exclaims, turning his face away, “How can you not get emotional at that?! It surpassed my expectations, okay! They had great chemistry and were super cute together! Their reunion in the airport was so emotional, the guy chasing after the girl showed how much he cared for her! The acting was superb!”

“Yeah, yeah,” Haejoon rolls his eyes at Eunyung’s desperate defence.

Thus, they started watching a movie every night after dinner.

𖦹

“So what’s gonna happen with that drama you got cast in?” Haejoon asks after they've finished their post-dinner movie.

“I won’t be healed before shooting starts so I guess they’ll recast me,” Eunyung responds, keeping his tone completely level, but the way he’s staring off against the wall and his brows slightly furrow, Haejoon knows how frustrating this must be for him.

“Isn’t there some way you could keep the role? They could rearrange shooting so that they do all the scenes without you or…”

“Don’t you get it?! I’m the fucking romantic interest! I’m in 90% of the scenes! There’s no god damn work around for that!” Eunyung yells, gesticulating wildly. He suddenly slumps back against the sofa, “There’s nothing I can do.”

“But they cast you. They want you to play the role. Surely they’d be willing to pull strings so you can still play the character?”

Eunyung sighs, “If I was an A-list, sure. But I’m just some nobody. They won’t care enough.”

“Isn’t it worth at least trying? If they’re willing and you don’t, you’ll definitely miss out.”

“I’m telling you, it won’t happen!”

“How do you know?”

“I just know, okay?!” Eunyung exclaims. “Things don’t happen because you want them to!”

Haejoon frowns. “Nobodies out to get you, Eunyung. You’re allowed to try.”

Eunyung looks down, then to the side, then down again, then back at Haejoon. “Will you shut up about it if I do?”

“Yeah.”

“Fine.” Eunyung pulls out his phone and calls his agent. “Seongmin-hyung? Did you cancel the role I got in that drama? Really, why not? Well, it doesn’t matter. Could you ask them if they’re willing to reschedule because of my injury? Just pushing it back 4 or so weeks or only doing the scenes I’m not in for now. Thanks, sorry for the trouble. Bye.”

Eunyung slips his phone back into his pocket, “Happy?”

Haejoon smiles. “Yeah.”

Haejoon’s helping Eunyung by chopping pork when he brings it up again, “Did your agent get back to you?”

“He did,” Eunyung answers, in the middle of expertly dicing an onion one-handed.

“What did he say?” He finishes chopping one cut of meat, moving on to another.

“They’re willing to postpone shooting,” he responds in a quiet voice, like the admittance is embarrassing. He slides the diced onions into the boiling pot. “I can hear your smug smirk from here, fucker, cut that out.”

“I just think maybe you should listen to me more often.”

“Fuck off!” Eunyung yells, but Haejoon can tell he’s smiling too.

𖦹

It’s Sunday, which means that Haejoon doesn’t have to go to college, but of course he still wakes up early in the morning to study. He gets dressed and exits his room to eat the breakfast Eunyung prepared for him — it’s eggs this time — glancing over to see Eunyung still sleeping peacefully on the pullout sofa, before going back to his room and settling down at his desk.

His desk has a picture of him and his mother on it. They’re both standing in front of their house, holding hands. It provides some comfort to him. It’s not that he needs to constantly pretend his mum is still here, he's over it — or as over it a young man can be at his mothers untimely death — but sometimes, when the world gets the best of him the picture reminds him, for just a moment, what it was like when she was still part of it.

He smiles at the photo and pulls out his study materials. He focuses on his work for about two hours before he realises that he’s thirsty. He takes that as his cue for a break and leaves his room with the intention to head for the kitchen.

Before he can make his way there though, he catches Eunyung struggling to put on a shirt because of his cast. Haejoon watches dumbfounded for a second. It hadn’t even crossed his mind that the cast would make it difficult for Eunyung to get dressed.

“Do you need help?”

Eunyung whips his head around in shock. “What? No! No!” Eunyung exclaims, suddenly struggling even harder to get the shirt on. In his haste, he tumbles off of the sofa — already put away back into a normal sofa — onto the floor. “Ow. Shit.”

Haejoon walks around the couch. “It looks like you need help.”

Eunyung sits up, rubbing his head where he hit it against the sofa on his descent. His shirt is still only half on over his head, unable to get the sleeve over his cast, leaving a large amount of his chest exposed. Haejoon can’t help but stare for a moment. “No I don’t. I’ve been managing fine the past two weeks on my own!”

“But wouldn’t it be easier if I helped?”

“I’m 19 years old! I don’t need to be dressed!” Eunyung says, still trying to pull the shirt on himself.

“If you keep moving like that, you’ll just make the fracture worse,” Haejoon comments, attempting to reach out for Eunyung’s shirt, but Eunyung slaps his hand away.

“Fuck off! It’s completely fine!” Eunyung continues to assert, still struggling.

“Dude, just let me help you.”

“I don’t need help!”

“You obviously do.”

“No I don’t!”

Haejoon sighs, joining Eunyung on the floor. “Just this one time. Then you can go back to struggling every morning and I’ll pretend I never saw you.”

Eunyung looks at the floor, “That’s way too embarrassing.”

“It’s not embarrassing to need help.”

“You are so…” Eunyung starts, but changes his mind on whatever he was going to say. “Whatever. One time.”

“Thank you.”

He slowly reaches to the shirt and grabs hold of the right sleeve. Haejoon stretches the sleeve out as much as he can and pulls it up Eunyung’s arms while using his other hand to gently keep it as steady as possible. After that, it wasn’t difficult for Eunyung himself to push his uninjured arm through the other arm hole. Haejoon pulls and adjusts the shirt properly, hands ghosting for a second at Eunyung’s waist, then pulling away.

“There, isn’t it easier with help?”

“I was just too tired to get it on right this time,” Eunyung grumbles, pointedly looking away from Haejoon.

“No problem, Eunyung. It was no trouble at all!” Haejoon responds as if Eunyung had thanked him instead of making excuses.

“Shut up! You can’t help every time anyway. You’re at college by the time I wake up.”

Haejoon considers this, “That’s true. But it’s not a problem when I’m available.”

“I told you I know how to put a shirt on with a cast! I was just tired this time! Do you think I’ve never broken an arm before?!”

“Okay, I get it,” Haejoon concedes. “You still needed help this time, though.”

“I would’ve gotten it eventually.”

“You’re incorrigible.”

“I don’t know what that means!”

“Insufferable.”

“Stop using words I don’t know!”

“Fucker.”

“Oh, fuck off!”

Haejoon laughs, realising belatedly that he’d completely forgotten what he even left his room for in the first place.

𖦹

There’s too much traffic. He already slept through the first two times the hospital rang him, if he didn’t get there as fast as possible it might be too late. Haejoon didn’t know how bad his condition would be. He didn’t know anything. Why did he leave him alone? Why did he think he could trust Eunyung on his own?

The moment the light turns green, he slams his foot down on the breaks. He knows he has to be careful on the road, he knows better than anyone, but the adrenaline stops him from thinking clearly. It’s probably fine, right? It’s Eunyung, he’s probably survived worse. But what if it’s not? He doesn’t know, he doesn’t know. It’s not like they’re that close anyway. Maybe he’s worrying too much. But Eunyung clearly trusts him, right? To put Haejoon down as his emergency contact…what is going on in that guy's head?

Like Haejoon would know. Like he even cares. He turns into the hospital parking lot. He gets out of his car. He runs.

“Eunyung Baek. His room number,” Haejoon heaves. He’s fit enough not to get tired after running such a short distance, but stress wears a man out. Fucking Eunyung.

He runs off as soon as he receives the room number, saying thank you as he goes.

He’s going to kill him when he gets to him, Haejoon decides. Seriously, worrying him like this. Making him drive all the way out here at two in the morning. Idiot. Stupid.

He pulls open the door as he hears the heart rate monitor flatline. The nurses rushing to try and restart his heart don’t even notice him entering the room. What? Is he imagining things? It’s okay. People come back from their hearts stopping all the time.

He waits. He watches, in the not-there way he’s been this whole time, as the nurses continue to try and restart his heart. He watches. No one notices him. He watches as the nurses give up, look up at the clock, start announcing the time of death.

Haejoon stops waiting. He pushes past the nurse holding the defibrillators, “Eunyung,” he says. Eunyung does not stir.

“Eunyung,” he repeats. There’s some dry blood around his lips.

“Eunyung!” he yells. He looks so pale.

“Eunyung!” and this time his throat hurts with how loud he yells it. A nurse grabs at his arm and tries to pull him away. Eunyung hasn’t moved an inch. He should be yelling back. Telling him to shut up.

“Eunyung!” he screams one more time, as another nurse grabs hold of him and he can’t bring himself to put up any sort of fight anymore.

The whole world spins. “Eunyung,” Haejoon cries. Everything melds together. The whole world collapses.

“Eunyung!” Haejoon shoots up. He blinks. It’s dark, but directly across from him is the wall of his room, the clock ticks above his desk. Two in the morning. He looks down. He’s in his bed. His blanket is draped over him. He’s sweating. His chest is heaving. Eunyung.

No. Eunyung’s okay. He got there in time, his condition wasn’t even that bad. He wouldn’t have died anyway. He just had a nightmare. It’s sound, logical reasoning. It doesn’t calm him down. He grabs his phone from the nightstand and checks it. No missed calls. Everything is fine. His heart still hammers against his rib cage.

Haejoon gets out of bed. He exits his room and walks to the living room. There, on the pullout sofa, sleeping soundly and totally safe, is Eunyung. Finally, his heart beat slows down. He crouches down in front of Eunyung’s sleeping figure, breathes a sigh of relief. He’s close enough that he can feel Eunyung’s breath ghost against his face. Alive. He looks incredibly peaceful like this. Like a sleeping beauty. Haejoon blinks, catching himself thinking of Eunyung as a “beauty”. Well, it was obviously true that Eunyung was objectively handsome but Haejoon doesn’t think he’s ever found himself ever actively thinking about it before. He’s never really thought about that regarding anyone before. He shakes the thought from his mind, it wasn’t important. Eunyung’s lips are slightly parted. He could count his eyelashes this close. One, two…

“Why the fuck are you staring at me?” Eunyungs eyes suddenly shoot open, staring dead into Haejoon’s face. Haejoon makes a noise of shock and falls back onto the floor.

“I didn’t realise you were awake,” Haejoon says awkwardly.

“It’d be okay to stare at me if I was asleep?”

“No! I wasn’t—” Haejoon catches himself. He was definitely staring at Eunyung, he couldn’t really lie about that. “I wasn’t staring at you in a weird way.”

“What’s the non-weird way to stare at someone in their sleep?”

Haejoon looks away. He doesn’t really want to admit he had a nightmare about Eunyung dying in the hospital. That’s… well, it’s really embarrassing.

“You’re crying,” Eunyung comments nonchalantly.

“Huh?” Haejoon reaches his hand to his face, sure enough there are tears there. How long had he been crying? “Um..” Haejoon begins, he really should explain himself now.

“I heard you yelling my name,” Eunyung interjects.

“Huh?”

“That’s why I was awake.”

“Oh. Sorry.”

“Whatever. Not like you were doing it on purpose.”

“Um. Yeah,” Haejoon tries to wipe the tears from his eyes, but more just keep flowing. Seriously, it was fine, so why was he still crying?

Eunyung sighs, “Come here.”

“What?” Haejoon looks up, Eunyung has one arm stretched open like an invitation.

“Just come here.” He reaches forward slightly and pulls Haejoon close to him, so his head is resting on the sofa and Eunyung’s chin is resting on his, his arm draped over his back. “Whatever it was, it’s over. Or it didn’t happen, or whatever. You’re okay now. And I’m okay too. We’re both okay.”

Haejoon hums in response, shifting his head slightly so he’s just pushed up against Eunyung’s chest. He listens to the steady thump of his heart and drifts back to sleep.

𖦹

“What’re you gonna do after this?” Eunyung asks while they’re eating lunch together. It’s rare that they get to eat lunch together, what with Haejoon at college all the time. Wednesday and the weekends are the only times that Haejoon’s home at lunch. On these days, they cook lunch together instead of Haejoon making Eunyung lunch in the morning and eating at the campus cafeteria himself. They’d decided it on their third week together.

“Study,” Haejoon responded.

Eunyung groans, “Okay, well instead of doing that… practise lines with me.”

“What.”

“I can’t get these specific lines down right. I think if I had someone act out the female lead’s lines it'd be easier to figure out.”

“You know I can’t act, right?” Haejoon raises an eyebrow.

“Obviously! I just need another person there to bounce off of. And practise actions on.”

“Actions…?” Haejoon questions

“I’m not going to kiss you, don’t worry,” Eunyung waves his hand in a dismissive motion.

“Good,” Haejoon says, but his eyes briefly wander down to Eunyung’s lips instinctually and his mind flashes him an image of him and Eunyung kissing. He starts choking on his food at the thought and he quickly reaches out for his glass of water. Why would he even think that?

“Are you okay?” Eunyung eyes him strangely.

“Yes,” Haejoon croaks. He takes a minute to recover before he speaks again, “Okay. I’ll practise lines with you.”

“Yay!” Eunyung smiles, lighting up like he’d just won a raffle.

“Okay, so just read these lines here. Go along with whatever I do,” Eunyung says, pointing to a couple of lines in the middle of a scene.

“Do you not need a script?” Haejoon asks, reading through the scene, anxiously realising he’s been roped into doing something very romantically charged. Oh well, Eunyung would probably harass him until he gave in if he tried to back out now.

“I have it memorised, obviously,” Eunyung states with a hint of pride in his voice. “Okay, let’s go. You have the first line.”

Haejoon looks down at his script and stiltedly repeats the line written in the script, “What are you doing?”

Eunyung starts to move towards Haejoon with an unfamiliar hunger in his eyes, “You drive me crazy, you know?” His voice is in a slightly deeper baritone. Haejoon steps back until he bumps into the wall as is written in the stage directions.

“What?” Haejoon reads.

“You’re always doing things,” Eunyung starts, placing a hand on Haejoon’s waist, contact Haejoon sucks in a breath at the unexpected contact, “that mess with my head.” Haejoon feels the weight of Eunyung’s stare on him. Honestly, his poor heart can’t take it. He looks back down at the script, which is slightly pushed against him because of Eunyung’s close proximity.

“Doing what?”

“That guy pisses me off.” Eunyung’s other hand moves to ghost against Haejoon’s cheek, then, feather-light, brushes against his lips. Haejoon’s heart hammers in his chest — it’s a position he never expected to be in with Eunyung. It’s weird, and he’s confused, but it’s sort of electrifying.

“Il-Seong? He’s just my friend.” Haejoon keeps his eyes on the script now, staring at Eunyung during all of this would make him all the more confused at his feelings around this predicament.

“A friend who doesn’t know how to keep his hands to himself,” Eunyung mutters, the hand on Haejoon’s waist moves up some, and the hand that’s still hovering just in front of lips moves to grip his chin — Haejoon’s heart jumps, “I’m the only one who should be allowed to touch you.”

Before Haejoon can start reading the next line, Eunyung lets go of Haejoon and steps back with a frustrated groan. “It’s that line! I just can’t get it!”

Haejoon breaths out, glad for the loss of contact, “I thought it sounded fine?”

“That’s because you’re stupid,” Eunyung sighs, “I guess I don’t really get being possessive like that.”

Haejoon snorts, “Yeah, I bet you were never possessive over all the girls you two-timed.”

“Hey! That was years ago, I don’t do that shit anymore!” Eunyung defends frantically while Haejoon laughs. “Whatever,” he pouts, “Let’s start again.”

“From the beginning?” Haejoon asks. He really, really doesn’t want to have to deal with Eunyung all over him again. It stirred feelings that he couldn’t even begin to identify and he didn’t like it at all.

“Yeah. It’s easier to get into character that way.”

“Okay,” Haejoon meekly agrees, mentally steeling himself for another onslaught of Eunyung being draped all over him.

In the end, they rehearse the scene too many times for Haejoon to count. Eunyung experiments with lots of different motions during the scene: snaking an arm around Haejoon’s back, putting him in a kabedon, whispering in his ear. Haejoon seriously wishes he just studied.

𖦹

Today was their last day together. For once, they ate breakfast together because Eunyung’s appointment was early in the morning. Haejoon savoured every bite of the final breakfast Eunyung would make for him. He had half a mind to ask him to make something for him the next day just so he could eat his food a little longer but he thought better of it. He watched Eunyung eat his food, but Eunyung didn’t look up at him at all until he’d just about finished his meal.

“I’ll be gone by the time you come back from college,” Eunyung says simply like it’s no big deal. It isn’t, really.

“Okay,” Haejoon responds after swallowing, like he isn’t dreading the emptiness. He isn’t, really.

They finish their meal in silence. Despite all Haejoon’s savouring, he finishes his breakfast first. He washes his plate and takes Eunyung’s when he finishes only a minute or two later. The last plate of Eunyung’s he’ll ever wash and dry. Well, that can’t be quite true. Haejoon’s sure they’ll stay in better contact after this. Haejoon will, at least. He doesn’t want the next time he hears from Eunyung to be because he got hurt again. He’ll come over, just like Juwan often does, and they’ll be friends.

He turns around, and Eunyung’s sitting on the sofa tapping away at his phone. His appointments not for another hour and a half, but Haejoon’s first class is in 40 minutes. He grabs his bag and slips his shoes on. By the time he’s finished, Eunyung is standing just a few feet away from him.

“I’m going now,” Haejoon says.

“Okay. See you later,” Eunyung answers.

Something about it hurts, but Haejoon smiles and repeats back, “See you later.”

When Haejoon gets back, he almost instinctively says that he’s home. But there’s no one to respond to him here now, or to ignore him which Eunyung sometimes did, too. The living room is completely empty. Usually, Eunyung had a few random things lying around. Not enough to be messy, really, but it was a sign he was there. His bag propped up against the sofa and a jacket strewn over the coffee table. Of course, he’d taken it all with him.

In the kitchen, there’s a couple of pages ripped from a notebook; the front one says: “I saw that half the things you had in here were microwave meals when I first got here. I know it’s because you’re a busy college student, but here’s some easy and quick recipes so you eat healthier - Eunyung.” Next to it, there’s a crude doodle of Eunyung wearing a chef’s hat and winking at him. Thoughtful was never a word that Haejoon would consider when thinking of Eunyung, but he definitely could be when he wanted to be. He has to admit that his eyes welled up a little at the gesture. He tucks the recipes away in one of the empty cupboards.

His toothbrush isn’t in the bathroom anymore, next to Haejoon’s. He can’t hear the noises of Eunyung playing games on his phone with his volume on max, or him calling his friends. When he sits down to study, he knows there isn’t even a chance that someone will come in and disturb him.

It’s painfully embarrassing how much he misses Eunyung. It wasn’t like this when they’d lost contact for the first time. He’d hardly spoken to him for two years and he didn’t feel like this! What was different this time? It wasn’t as if he was gone forever, he could call him right now and if he picked up he could talk to him for as long as he wanted.

Haejoon goes to sleep with the same thought on his mind: why was it that Eunyung’s absence was suddenly affecting Haejoon so much?

He wakes up in the morning with the same thought on his mind. He goes to school still thinking about it. He goes to the store to buy groceries still thinking about it.

That’s when it hits him. He’s at the store, scouring the shelves for the specific brand of rice Eunyung always tells him to get. (“No they don’t all taste the same! This one tastes much better than other brands, I’m serious!) He realises, when he can’t seem to spot it, that every item in his cart is stuff that Eunyung told him to buy. This brand for pork, but it has to be this one for beef. Make sure that when you buy apples they look exactly like this, and make sure they’re pink ladies. Semi-skimmed milk is the only valid type of milk. I love snacks, but don’t buy so many you run out of money for anything to cook with. And don’t buy that chocolate brand because it tastes like cardboard.

He remembered every single thing. Without even realising it, Haejoon had been committing every word Eunynug said to memory. Well, that was probably an exaggeration, but he took the effort to remember what Eunyung said to him, like each moment spent with him was truly precious. He recalls, now, all the times that Haejoon found his eyes lingering, or his mind wandering, or his heart beating. When caught a glimpse of Eunyung’s chest, when he pulled him against him after his nightmare, when he got so close when they were acting. And those even smaller moments still, like when they were watching a movie and the way Eunyung’s eyes glistened with interest made Haejoon’s heart squeeze, when he could hear him practising his lines and the apparent dedication made Haejoon feel proud.

Haejoon — clearly incapable of understanding human emotion unless he was standing in the frozen food aisle looking for a specific brand of rice — is in love with Eunyung.

He grabs his bag of rice and pays as fast as humanly possible.

Okay, so maybe calling the guy who you forced to live with you for six weeks less than a day after he’d left and asking him to come over seemed desperate, but that’s exactly what Haejoon was. There was no way in hell he was letting this linger because, to be honest, he doesn’t even know how long he’s been in love with Eunyung. So he’s doing this.

Worst case scenario Eunyung never talks to him again, which, granted, sounded like something Haejoon might never recover from at this point, but he was already on his way to his apartment, so not much could be done at this point.

Half an hour later, there’s a knock on Haejoon’s door.

He opens it in an instant. Eunyung’s standing on the opposite side, wearing a coat, because it was already eleven at night and it was August. “Why—” Eunyung starts, but before he can get another word out, Haejoon grabs him by the wrist and pulls him in.

Realising he’d majorly jumped the gun, he steps back, “Uh, sorry. Take your coat and shoes off and come in.” Okay, so he was a bit more nervous than he thought he’d be, sue him.

“Okay?” Eunyung says, looking astronomically confused.

Once he’s undressed, he follows Haejoon to the living room, but they don’t sit down. For some reason, a confession seems like something you have to do standing face to face.

“Right. So.”

“So..?” Eunyung says, increasingly confused.

Haejoon breathes in. He breathes out. “Eunyung, I’m in love with you.”

Eunyung stares at him. Haejoon stares back. It’s out there now — no rambling, no backtracking, that’s all he has to say.

“What,” and just like that day Haejoon had burst into Eunyung’s hospital room because he was his emergency number, Eunyung looks like a deer in headlights.

“I’m in love with you,” Haejoon repeats, with the same finality.

“You’re not… serious?” Eunyung laughs, “I mean, it’s like a joke right? Haha, that’s really funny. What, was it Juwan’s idea? He wanted to see how I’d react or something? Is he here?” Eunyung starts looking around, glancing at every corner of the living room.

“What? No,” Haejoon steps forward and grabs Eunyung by the shoulders to stop him from moving. He does. “I’m serious, I love you. Romantically. I want to kiss you.”

“Yeah, I get what “I love you” means! Thanks!” Eunyung exclaims. “But you! You didn't contact me for two years!”

Haejoon splutters, “Neither did you!”

“Yeah, but! If you say you love me but you didn’t… even want to stay in contact with me…”

“That’s—” Haejoon starts, then changes his mind, “If you didn’t contact me either, do you not love me back? Why didn’t you just reject me when I said it?”

“That’s not— I didn’t mean— I just… I just…” Eunyung buries his face in his hands, abandoning his explanation.

Haejoon reaches up and pulls his hands off of his face, gently clasping them in his own between them. “Hey. Look at me.” Eunyung slowly looks up to meet Haejoon's eyes, and while no tears are falling, his eyes certainly look watery. “We both could've done better to stay in contact. But me not talking to you for a while doesn't mean I don't love you. Especially not right now.”

Eunyung intakes a shaky breath. “But… me? What about, like, Juwan or…”

“Juwan?” Haejoon looks at Eunyung like he's crazy. “I mean, he's my best friend but I wouldn't date him? Why would you think that?”

This time Eunyung looks at Haejoon like he's a little crazy. “The way he acted around you in high school? And he's… a lot nicer than me. You know… you wouldn't…” Eunyung trails off and stays silent for long enough that Haejoon thinks he's aborted what he was saying, but before he can say something in return, Eunyung speaks again, “You wouldn't want to have to deal with me.”

Haejoon blinks. “I already have been, though?”

Eunyung scoffs, “For six weeks. That's hardly anything.”

“I lived in the same house as you for two years, you know.”

“But that's— you know… Six weeks… two years, sure. But this is like… forever, right? Do you want to deal with me forever?”

Haejoon thinks about it. Living with Eunyung, now, at twenty, like he has been for six weeks. It's already so familiar to him, the routine they'd fallen into. He imagines himself in twenty more years, living with Eunyung at forty. Some things would probably change, maybe Eunyung would be famous by then and they'd be living somewhere fancier with better security. They might not see each other as often, but it probably wouldn't be that much different. He imagines living with Eunyung at seventy, they'd probably both be retired by then, spending their days together. He wonders if Eunyung will still be playing his phone games even then. He imagines fighting with him; it'd be inevitable, given how they are. Maybe they'd fight once a week, once a month, sometimes they'd fight so much it felt like hell to be in the same room together. But then he imagines crawling into the same bed every night and snuggling close, imagines eating their meals together every day, imagines going to the aquarium and the zoo and the beach with him on their days off, and it seems like it'd be okay. Even if they fought every day forever, they'd always end up at each other again.

And after he imagines all that, Haejoon imagines living all those years without Eunyung with him. Sure, they meet up every so often, mostly when Juwan or Marie organise a meetup between the whole friend group, but sometimes privately, just because. They'd talk, catch up, but it'd never be the same. Haejoon would go home to his apartment, eat a meal he cooked on his own for himself and then go to sleep in a bed made only for him. And it all feels so inextricably lonely that it makes Haejoon's chest constrict. Is that how he was living before he forced Eunyung to stay with him?

So when he compares the two, Haejoon and Eunyung forever or just Haejoon forever, there's only one way he'd ever answer.

“Yeah,” Haejoon answers, “I'd like to deal with you forever.”

Eunyung stares at him. His lips are slightly parted, like he’s in shock. His cheeks are lightly dusted in pink. “Seriously?” he breathes out.

“Yeah,” Haejoon smiles and one of his hands comes up to cup Eunyung’s cheek. Eunyung leans into it. “I love you, Eunyung.”

This time, Eunyung responds in earnest, “I love you, too.”

“Let’s live together,” Haejoon says, moving forward, slowly, until their noses bump.

“I just moved out,” Eunyung comments.

“Move back in.”

Eunyung huffs out a laugh, “Okay.”

Haejoon closes that last small gap between them, and their lips connect. Eunyung’s lips are soft, and they kiss back with the same eager tenderness that Haejoon gives. He thumbs against Eunyung’s cheek with one hand, and the other snakes to stroke his hair, while Eunyung’s hands land on Haejoon’s hips, like he’s making sure that Haejoon doesn’t run away.

And he never would. Not when his home was right here, enveloping him in his warmth.