Chapter Text
Lucius and Severus heard a quiet enter and entered their Lord's office and froze. They looked at each other and back to their Lord. "My Lo-" Severus tried to start but couldn't finish.
"My Lord, what Severus is trying to say is that we have the information you required." Lucius was trying not to laugh, hiding behind his Slytherin mask. He could see Severus was doing the same thing but the man was stuck on being able to speak.
"The information?" Their Lord snarled at them. He was not in a good mood and wouldn't be for a few days, at least, if they had to guess.
"The Order is on the run. Three of their members are now in Ministry custody and will be facing charges."
"Which members?"
"Two members of the Weasley family and Remus Lupin." Severus failed in trying to keep the glee out of his voice on Remus Lupin's name. They didn't move further into the office. However, their Lord's wave of his hand, they sat down in the chairs in front of his desk.
"Fudge is going to bring them in front of the Wizengamot?" He was looking down at the catalog in front of him.
"Yes, Madam Bones has the evidence." Lucius was wondering what happened. The man wasn't in a rabbit outfit when they left.
"Don't ask." Their Lord told them.
"I am sorry but I need to know Tom, what is going on? Why are you wearing a blue bunny outfit with orange carrots? Is that green lettuce?" Severus was still trying not to laugh. The Dark Lord glared at Severus. "You didn't?"
"What?" Lucius asked.
"He got Harry upset again." Severus informed him.
"Tom, how many times does it take?"
"I-" The Dark Lord started and looked down. "I just couldn't resist. He looked so cute."
"What did you say?" Lucius asked.
"You don't want to know."
"We do. If Harry has you wearing a bunny outfit, I am afraid of what we will end up wearing." Severus replied.
"I made a comment about how cute he looked lying in bed, like a little baby." The Dark Lord heard their gasps. "It got worse after that, as no matter what came out of my mouth to fix it, it just made it worse. I tried to tell him he wasn't a baby but made a reference to his height and well you get the idea."
Lucius and Severus looked at him. "How long?" Lucius wondered at times about the Dark Lord and his mouth.
"Three days, I think." The Dark Lord hoped it would be over that soon. The tail felt funny to sit on.
"Is that why you are hiding from everyone?" Severus asked.
"Yes, especially Bella. She warned me last time this happened."
"You are going to have to buy a good present for him." Lucius told him.
The Dark Lord handed Lucius the Gringotts' Auction Catalog. "I am already looking."
"This is a step in the right direction." Severus glanced at the catalog. "How mad was he when he put you in the outfit?"
"He didn't even speak or use his wand. He just looked at me, walked out, and when I went to follow him I realized I had bunny feet." The Dark Lord pulled back his chair and show them his feet. They are huge fluffy bunny feet. He watched them trying not to laugh.
"I think we will be hiding in here with you." Severus said after he recovered.
"He isn't mad at you." The Dark Lord told them.
"No, but last time you did something this, well frankly Tom, stupid, we ended up wearing matching outfits because we couldn't stop laughing as he explained what happened." Lucius told him. "You know we will end up laughing when he does tell us."
"You don't seem to be laughing now."
"Trust me, we are on the inside." Lucius muttered. Severus heard him and let out a little snort of laughter.
"This isn't funny." The Dark Lord told them but the effect of his anger was wasted as his whiskers started twitching and he can feel his nose wiggling.
"Yes, it is." Severus assured him. "If we had entered here as your mates instead has one of your followers, I know I would have had a very hard time not laughing, still want to laugh, to be honest." The Dark Lord glared at them.
"Harry is much scarier than you." Lucius smirked. Rabbits weren't known for being deadly.
The Dark Lord backed down. "He is, isn't he?"
"Yes, I am." They turned toward the door. Harry was standing in the doorway with Bellatrix who was trying not to laugh. She had tears running down her face in her effort not to laugh. "Bella just let it out," Harry ordered her.
Bellatrix started laughing. "I am saving this in a pensive." She turned around and skipped out, laughing.
"I am doomed." The Dark Lord predicted.
"Yes, and until you fix it, you will be sleeping on the couch. Sev, Luc I was expecting you back at lunch."
"Sorry for the delay, we got held up at the Ministry. Three Order members were caught." Severus told him.
"Good news considering how badly my day started." Harry turned a very angry glance to the Dark Lord.
"Harry, I am sorry. I didn't mean for anything to sound like how I said it." The Dark Lord tried to soothe his angry husband. They had been mated for three years. They have been together for four years and in all that time, the Dark Lord should learn to keep his mouth shut at times. The twenty one year-old was good at creative punishment when he was mad at them.
Harry just narrowed his eyes and huffed at him. "Dinner is in an hour." He walked out of the room.
"You blew it. I don't think I ever got Narcissa that mad." Narcissa was killed five years ago during a raid on their Manor by the Order. She didn't even have her wand on her.
"I am going to need your help." The Dark Lord replied.
"Only if we can take a few pictures of you in this outfit." Severus wanted to remember this forever and knew he would put the pictures in his lab to cheer him up when an experiment went wrong.
"One."
"Five."
"Two."
"Six."
"You are to go down not up when you are on that side of a bargain." The Dark Lord informed them.
"You want our help, it's going to cost you." Lucius replied. "Seven."
"Fine, five."
"Price is seven." Severus told him. "And it will go up higher."
"Fine, seven." The Dark Lord agreed. "Slytherins."
"Proud of it." Lucius smirked. "Tom, you know we will help. You had to know it was going to cost you."
"Yes, I did. Now, what do you think I should get him?"
"Nothing in there, you need major kissing up. I would go the whole romantic route, make it about him." Lucius told him.
Severus and the Dark Lord looked at him. "You think he would like that?"
Lucius glanced at them. "How in Merlin's name did you two woo us?"
"I believe it was Harry that did the wooing. He was very insistent on it." Severus stated the fact, as it was, he wasn't going to claim it was their idea.
"So dinner, what else?"
"Really? Do I need to do it step by step for you?"
"Yes." They answered.
Lucius sighed. "Now I know why you two end up those outfits. Dinner, get the elves to help you make it. Do not have them make it, even if it's not perfect it will mean more to him if you make it. Flowers, he is a sap for Lilacs. Fireplace going, get one of those books he is always reading and cuddle up to him and read it."
"How am I going to do all that looking like this? Do you know how hard it is to even walk?" The Dark Lord again showed him his feet.
"It is part of it." Lucius shrugged.
They began to plan on what to do that night after Lucius and Severus got their photos.
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The Dark Lord was hopping around the kitchen trying to get everything done. He knew they were taking pictures but he couldn't find the cameras. He was muttering about revenge as he put the finishing touches on the meal. He looked at it and winced. He made steak but it was more on the slightly burnt side. The potatoes looked mushy and the broccoli looked almost white.
"You want us to fix?" Tab asked.
"No, I just need you to serve it as it is." The Dark Lord hopped out to find his youngest mate hoping he wouldn't see anyone. He found Harry in the main library. He hopped over to him. "I made dinner."
Harry looked up in surprise. "You made dinner?"
"Yes, it's ready in the dining room." The Dark Lord saw Harry smile and knew it might not be three days in the bunny suit after all. He would have to remember to listen to Lucius about this romance stuff.