Chapter Text
“Hi, honey!”
“Hey, David, how’s it going? Everything ok at the store?”
“Yes, shockingly enough, we can survive without you. Your dad is great with the customers.”
“He’s probably having a good time, really in his element.”
“He seems to be….speaking of your dad….he’s been staying at the apartment, obviously, and anyway, I was freaking out last night ‘cause I couldn’t remember if we moved the lube and toys that were in the nightstand.”
“David! You’re on speakerphone….my mom’s here too.”
“Fuck! Oh my god. Ummm….Hi Mrs. Brewer. I’m so sorry. For that. And the swearing.”
“Don’t worry about it, dear. And please call me Marcy.”
“Mmm-hmmm. Yep, ok. Patrick, can you please take me off speaker for a second.”
“Can’t right now, I’m driving.”
“Ok, well, just so you know - it’s proper etiquette to answer the phone and immediately inform someone that they are on speaker and who else can overhear the conversation.”
“Noted. Sorry. And yes.”
“Huh?”
“Yes, to your question.
“What?!”
“David! Yes we moved the things .”
“Oh! Ok. Thanks…now I can at least feel better about that part of this whole situation.”
“Yep.”
“Ok, I’ve gotta go. Love you. Call me later.”
“Will do. Love you. Bye.”
“Sorry, mom. That was my fault.”
“No worries, sweetheart. Your dad and I aren’t as naive as you think we are.”
“Mom!”
“What? I mean, I’m sure he appreciated not stumbling upon your….supplies…”
“Mom….”
“But if he had, he would have just closed the drawer and went on with his day. It’s not like he would have been shocked or said anything to you about it.”
“Ok.”
“You shouldn’t feel like you have to hide who you are with us, Patrick.”
“Mom, I get it. I know we’re still working on things between us…but I’m not hiding who I am anymore. However, Dad was going to stay in my apartment for a whole week, so we definitely took care of our more personal effects.”
“Ok, sweetie. But it’s not like your dad hasn’t been restocking your artisanal lube and massage oils at the store this week.”
“That’s the store! Can we just change the subject?”
“Sure. What do you want to talk about?”
“Anything but my sex life, please.”