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With her hands on her hips and her foot tapping impatiently, Aloy watched the rain fall outside of the cave with distaste. If she and Erend hadn’t just walked in here on dry land an hour prior, she would have been convinced they hunkered down behind a waterfall.
They still had so many locations to scout from Sylens’ data. The clock was ticking down with the weight of the world on her shoulders, and now it was raining. This world sure had a vendetta against itself. If only they hadn’t stopped to make dinner, maybe they could have gotten ahead of this storm.
“It’s not going to stop the harder you look at it,” Erend said from behind her. She didn’t even have to look to know that he was tending to the flames as she heard the fire crackle.
“You sure? I’ve stared down worse.”
Erend huffed out a laugh. “A fair point, but something tells me the rain doesn’t understand intimidation tactics.”
She wanted to laugh, but couldn’t help this burdening feeling like she had to be out there doing something. Every second that ticked by on her focus was a thrum in her mind, putting pressure on her back.
“Maybe we should go anyway. It’s just a little rain. Nothing we haven’t dealt with before.”
“A little rain?” Erend scoffed. “Aloy, this is a torrential downpour.”
She held her hand out past the cave’s entrance, and the drops pounded against her palm. Riding on a bristleback, they were sure to be pelted by it. It wouldn’t be pleasant, but they’d live.
“Torrential downpour or not, we still have a job to do.”
“Aloy.”
She couldn’t tell if his tone was chastising or pleading. Maybe just exhausted by her antics. She knew she had a way of pushing these things and being overbearing, but there was a reason for it. They didn’t have forever, and preparing for something like Nemesis meant making some sacrifices and pushing through challenging times.
“What if we go now and we get sick? Or what if we’re so blinded by the downpour that we run into a tree and get hurt? If we stay back now for one night, that could save us days of recovery time later.”
Her foot continued tapping on the slab of rock. He may have had a point. “But we may also be fine.”
She could hear the exhaustion in his voice as he grumbled, so that answered her question. Suddenly, there was a flash somewhere beyond the not-waterfall. The crashing thunder came on more quickly than she hoped. That sealed their fate, then.
“You better not still be considering it,” Erend said, stoking the fire again, because keeping it alive for the night had just become a lot more important.
She wasn’t, but she turned to him with a smile anyway. May as well poke a little fun at it if they were going to be stuck here. “Why not? Realistically, what are the chances of being struck by lightning? They’ve got to be small.”
“Aloy! We’re trying to find the tallneck! You’ll be as roasted as this rabbit if you climbed up there right now,” he said, pointing to the leftovers of their dinner.
“Relax. I’m just kidding… this time. Could you imagine?”
He breathed out a sigh of relief. “Unfortunately, I could. Why do you think I was so quick to believe you?”
“Fair enough,” she said, starting to pace the cavern. She felt Erend’s eyes on her as she went back and forth.
“Look… I understand this is hard on you, and I get why, but there’s just going to be times that we have to accept the circumstances.”
She wanted to challenge his point so badly, because with that attitude, she might have given in and accepted their fate a long time ago. Her stubbornness was the only reason they’d made it this far. No one else was acting. No one else had accepted this responsibility on their shoulders. She rubbed the tension from her forehead because she was getting worked up, and the last thing she wanted to do was take it out on Erend. He was here to help. He was helping. He’d never pushed back against her before now, and this time, he had a very good and justified reason. She was just being impatient, and she could see that.
“Yeah,” she said quietly. “You’re right. I know you’re right.”
“I’m sorry. What was that? Do my ears betray me? I’m... right?”
“If you make a big deal, you know I’ll never admit it again.” She paced a little more. “It’s deceive, by the way. Not betray,” she said, trying to make it obvious she was only joking this time.
“Uh-huh. I think you just needed to get the last word in.”
“Well, you won’t hear me admitting it now.” She was glad to see he was smiling along with her antics rather than being bothered by them.
“Of course not.”
He watched her walk back and forth a little more. “Alright, will you quit pacin’ already? You’re making me nervous.”
Aloy shook her head. “Since when have you known me to be good at just sitting around?”
Erend grumbled out. “Good point. Well, actually, hang on a second now. There was that one time we shared that pint, and you seemed to sit still pretty well for that. Where’s a keg when you really need one, am I right?” he said, huffing out a laugh, and she did the same, looking at him with a smirk. That was a good night, but not because of the ale. It was because Erend shared stories about Ersa.
“I don’t know. Maybe it had less to do with the ale than you think.”
“Oh, yeah? What was it then?”
She shrugged. “We talked.”
Erend looked amused as he considered it more. “Heh… I guess that’s all drinkin’ with friends really is, isn’t it? Talking.”
“I’m not sure you’re asking the right person. Still haven’t exactly had many opportunities to partake in the whole socializing thing.”
“Ah, I don’t know. I think you’ve picked up a mighty fine group of friends.”
She smiled at the thought, because she supposed that was true. “Fine, but I haven’t needed a drink to be able to talk to anyone.”
“Point taken, but to be fair, I’m not saying I need the alcohol. I just mean it makes the talking easier. That being said, I’m up for a challenge,” he said, patting the empty space beside him on the bedroll. Their only one after hers was ripped to shreds by a scrapper a few days prior. They’d been trading off using this one. Today was meant to be Erend’s turn, but for now, it seemed like they were just going to hang out, and it made for a comfortable place to do so.
She lamented, sitting next to him, calming her fidgeting legs. “A challenge, huh? That’s what you call talking to me without alcohol?” Of course, she meant it as a joke, but Erend shook his head at her. “So, what exactly do you have in mind, then?”
He straightened up a little, the smile coming back to his face. “Me and the Vanguard used to play this game… a drinking game, but we can just skip that part.”
“Clearly.”
“Right…” he cleared his throat awkwardly. “So the deal is, you tell two stories that are true and one that’s fake. The other person has to guess which one the lie is. If it’s wrong, you’re supposed to take a drink, but obviously, we’re just doing it for fun.”
“The whole point is to lie?”
“Yeah… it’s supposed to be fun.”
She looked at him with a scrutinizing glare. It seemed odd that lying was meant to be for fun, but maybe she was missing something.
“I’ll go first to give you an idea of what I mean.”
“Okay.”
“I’ve never broken a bone.”
“That’s the lie,” she said proudly.
“Uh, uh, uh, let me finish before you guess.”
She shook her head at him, because a hammer-wielding soldier like him must have had a broken bone before.
“I know how to play the fife. And I’m a vegetarian.”
Her jaw dropped, because they all sounded like lies now, but she knew the true lie with certainty. They’d just had a rabbit for dinner, for crying out loud. Even if they hadn’t, she was pretty sure Erend didn’t know the meaning of the word lettuce.
“You’re pulling my leg.”
He shook his head, looking plenty pleased with himself.
“How on earth have you never broken a bone before?”
He shrugged. “A lot of luck, I guess. You know I’m not immune to a good injury, but I guess I’ve got enough meat on me that my muscles always take the blow.” He flexed animatedly to make a point.
“Damn. Good for you. I’ll believe the fife one when I see it.”
He looked a little guilty. “Alright, I may have been a little liberal with that one. Haven’t played in a good fifteen years or so, but I learned it as a kid. I’m sure I could still play a little something if I got my hands on one again, even if it’s not perfect.”
“Well, if you put it like that, I guess I can believe it. Who ever would have thought little baby Erend was musical.”
“I’m not sure anyone ever considered me a little baby anything,” he said with a laugh. “But yeah, I used to like it until mine broke. We didn’t have enough money to buy a new one, so I just moved on with my life.”
“Well, if I ever find one, I’m definitely buying it for you. I have to see it for myself.”
Erend had a wide grin at the thought. “Alright, well, now you get the picture, yeah? Guess it’s kinda meant to lead to telling stories about ourselves.”
“Okay,” she said as she sat there, thinking. “I’m not really sure what there is to say for me. I haven’t exactly had an interesting life.”
Erend stared at her blankly. “Uh… I’m sorry. Do you even know who you are?”
Aloy rolled her eyes. “You know what I mean.”
“Do I? I’m pretty sure you’re the most interesting person I’ve ever met.”
“Too interesting, then,” she said… maybe she didn’t know how to describe it. She’d gone from a boring life of nothing but training, locked in a small region, sequestered away from all civilization, straight to saving the world. There was no in-between, making the concept of this game more challenging than expected.
“Just give it a shot.”
She stubbornly looked him in the eye. “Okay, I’m a clone. I’ve killed a Horus. And I’m a vegetarian,” she said, stealing his lie.
Erend let out a laugh. “Since when did you become a vegetarian?” he asked sarcastically.
“Since after dinner, clearly. Might go back to eating meat for breakfast, too, not sure yet.”
“Ah, yes, the short-lived rebellious vegetarian stage. Better not tell Zo. She’ll be so disappointed. But I promise, your secret’s safe with me.”
She snickered at him, shaking her head.
“But something tells me you can do better than that. It’s not meant to be about big, grand things you’ve done in your life. It’s meant to be about the little details. Anything, really.”
She nodded, thinking a little deeper. Anything, huh? Why did it feel so hard to find facts about her life that felt like a better middle ground? She considered it a while longer before finally settling on something.
“Petra was the first person to ever give me an ale.”
Erend knit his brow at that one like he was trying to run some calculations in his head.
“I’ve gone four days without sleeping. And I was seven when I got my first hunting kill.”
Erend looked at her, a little dumbstruck. “Damn… this is actually hard.”
“Want a hint?”
“No, no, let me try,” he said, holding his finger up in thought. “All of them sound so plausible for you, but I’m going to go with Petra being the first person to give you an ale. You must have been well past nineteen when you met her, right? I can’t believe you didn’t even sneak some before that.”
Aloy smirked. “Too bad we don’t have any ale right now, because you’d have to drink some.”
“Really? How is that possible?”
She shrugged. “Rost was against alcohol since we were so alone. He said too much could go wrong. We could be ambushed while intoxicated and unable to defend ourselves. He was also adamant that it made people clumsy and we lived at the top of a mountain. I think he was just scared. But honestly, it never really bothered me much. The only thing that mattered to me growing up was training. I needed to win the proving, so I didn’t really care about stuff like that. When I finally got my freedom, I guess it took a while for Rost’s voice to leave my head. It wasn’t until Petra set that ale down in front of me in Chainscrape that I actually even thought about it. I guess I finally felt safe enough, so I had it.”
“Wow,” Erend said, nodding along. “Makes sense. Damn, I must have been close to the first one to give you an ale, then,” he said with a laugh.
“Pretty close, yeah,” she said with a laugh.
“Huh… so which one’s the lie, then?”
“I’ve never gone four days without sleeping before. You should know that. I know I’m impatient, but people get reckless when they’re tired. It’s not so unlike being drunk, I guess, but I wouldn’t purposely put myself under that much stress.”
He looked at her strangely.
“What?”
“Oh, nothing. That’s just a surprisingly rational thought process for someone who was ready to go out in that,” he said, turning toward the mouth of the cave.
The rain was still pounding outside. Now that she’d calmed down, it did look pretty menacing out there.
“Fair enough,” she said with a laugh.
He looked up at her with a smile. “But see, look. You’re a lot better at this than you thought. It’s supposed to be hard, and that one was definitely hard.”
She smiled. “Alright, so give me a hard one, then.”
Erend took a moment to think of a more challenging one, and when he did, they continued taking turns back and forth, just like that. As the game went on, she was surprised she actually had a lot more to say than she thought. She’d lost count of how many they’d each won and lost.
The hours dwindled down into night, and the rain continued pelting the ground beyond the mouth of the cave. The lightning and thunder moved along the valley, getting more and more dull with each passing minute. Yet, with Erend’s company, those things barely registered in her mind. It was all just laughter and good company, and she couldn’t remember the last time her face hurt this much from smiling. Maybe it never had.
She hadn’t even noticed it happening, but the longer they sat there, the more comfortable they got. From sitting up, they slowly moved to leaning back and getting comfortable, and eventually laying next to each other on the bedroll, looking at each other face to face, only inches apart.
She wasn’t good at giving time away for free when there was so much on her shoulders, but Erend was good at filling it when she had no other choice. He was good at talking her off of stupid ledges, and making her smile and laugh. Those weren’t things she ever had before him, but he’d done that for her ever since.
He’d just finished telling one of his stories after she’d guessed wrong, but her mind glazed over a little as the realization dawned on her just how happy he made her. Well, that’s not true. She’d always felt it, but she’d been noticing it more and more on their travels together out here, and she already knew a feeling deep within her had been building. She’d just been too busy to put any meaning to it. Her thoughts had been so consumed by Nemesis that she was scared to think of what could change if she ever voiced them out loud. Seeing him here now, so jovial like this, it made her wonder why she would ever wait. He was the little pieces of life between mission and duty. He was the reason she was so determined to keep going. She was saving this planet for him, and what was that for if not to give voice to these feelings?
“Aaaah, can you believe that?” he asked rhetorically, and she didn’t even know what it was referencing, thanks to being so lost in her own thoughts. He was actually recovering from crying with laughter at reliving his own story, making her wish she’d been listening, but despite that, she couldn’t help but be transfixed. Erend turned back to her with a delightful sigh, both of their heads sharing the same pillow. He must have caught on that the mood had shifted. “Aloy?”
She swallowed thickly, gaining the courage to do what she wanted to do.
“I have a crush,” she said quietly, and he looked really confused. Nothing that wouldn’t come to light in a moment, she hoped. Her heart pounded in her chest, and her breath became hard to chase. “I think I might be in love,” she said quietly again. He still looked like his mind couldn’t grasp what was happening.
“And it’s not with you,” she said, finally remembering that one of them had to be a lie.
She almost regretted it because it hurt to say even as a lie. It seemed to take Erend a minute to remember what they were doing, like this whole string of statements from her had entirely reset his mind. But suddenly, his brow knit.
“Wait… Are we still playing?”
“I thought so,” she said, waiting for him to connect the dots. The look on his face told her he was there, but hesitant.
“This is either really, really cruel or… I don’t know, to be honest. It just doesn’t feel real.”
She inched closer to him. Her hand was gentle on his cheek, rosy red from the chill in the air. “I guess it was a little cruel to word it that way, but please tell me you know the lie.”
“The one about me?” he asked genuinely, as his eyes met hers with hope.
“The one about you,” she said with a gentle nod against their pillow.
Any shred of doubt left his face, his smile growing wide. “You think you love me?”
“Maybe that one was a bit of a lie, too, because I don’t think. I know I do. You’re always there for me, but it’s not only that… it’s the way you can make me calm down when I don’t want to. The way you make me smile… when I don’t want to.”
He let out a small laugh.
“You know what I need, even when it takes me a while to see those things for myself. I can’t really explain it, but it’s like… I just feel whole when I’m with you, and I feel like a piece of me is missing when I’m not. I’ve never been in love before, so I could be wrong, but it sure feels a lot like what I thought love would be.”
“Yeah,” he said with a beaming grin. “I think that’s a good way to describe it. It’s how I’ve felt about you for a long time already.”
She nodded, thinking back to all they’d been through. She’d abandoned him after Meridian and pushed him away as she left for the west. How much that must have hurt? But he was still here with her now, despite it all, and he’d never put his feelings on her, not even once. Maybe he knew she had some things to figure out on her own before she’d ever get here. Or maybe he didn’t want to be the thing in her way, knowing what was at stake.
“You think you love me?” Aloy echoed, wanting to hear it for herself.
“No,” he said with a beaming grin. “I know I do.”
She smiled warmly against the cold night air. Her thumb brushed against Erend’s beard, and she felt emboldened to lean in. The only time she’d ever been courageous enough to do it first. Their lips brushed, delicately in the beginning. That feeling of being connected to him only deepened, so with it, she deepened the kiss. A little more fervor, and a little more urgency. Clearly Erend was feeling it, too, as his hand was at the small of her back, pulling her in closer.
She breathed him in and almost started to understand the reason she’d held off so long. It was so easy to lose herself in him. If she wasn’t careful, the world could be lost around them just like this.
She finally had to break free for air, but parted with a smile as mirthful as Erend’s.
“I love you, Aloy. No more lies. I just love you.”
“I love you, too.”
She cuddled into him, her heart still pounding with excitement. The fire was dying out, all while the rain was still relentless outside. And here in this damp cave, Aloy learned what it was to give herself something for once in her life. The gift of someone at her side. The voice of reason in her ear and laughter that filled her heart.
And all it took to see it was one stormy night.