Chapter Text
Tuesday 9:30AM- two weeks to the halloween ball.
Siobhan’s heart raced, putting off picking up the phone and dialing for as long as she could. She couldn’t face Viv after the engagement, it was all too embarrassing. After her pause, she finally gathered the courage to pick up the phone and dial.
Vivian was about to walk into work, when her phone rang. “Hello?” Silence on the other end. Vivian took her phone away from her ear and looked at it to make sure she didn’t have the sound off or something. “Hello?” She asks again.
Siobhan couldn’t find the words on the other end of the call. She hated that just the mere sound of her voice made her chest pound.She didn’t rely on anyone, she wasn’t a schoolgirl with a crush, she was a force to be reckoned with. “I-it,” Siobhan stuttered at first. Really? Stuttering? Hold it together! She thinks to herself. “was just a quick call from the nursery.”
It’s Vivian’s turn to drop silent for a moment, her heart stopping for a moment when she hears Siobhan’s voice, eyes going wide. Was she really calling her? “S-sorry” Vivian stutters at first. “You broke up there, can you repeat that?”
Siobhan rolled her eyes. “It’s the nursery calling.”
Vivian shakes her head, pursing her lips. “No, sorry, I’m not getting a good signal.Can you say that again?’
Siobhan is becoming more and more irritated by the moment. “It’s the nursery.”
Vivian held back a small laugh. She felt like she was on a prank call. “One more time.”
If Siobhan didn’t have the phone in her hand, she would have thrown her arms into the air. “Oh for God’s sake, Viv, it’s me. Can you hear me?”
“Oh there is a person on the end of this line. I thought it was a building called a nursery ringing me.” Her tone was playful, there was a small amount of spite in it, but barely detectable. She deserved a little fun.
Siobhan let out an inaudible sigh, a smile she couldn’t keep from her face crept in. Of course Vivian was always playing games like this, and she missed it. Even if she didn’t want to admit it. Little did the two of them know that they both wore the same fond smile on the other ends of the line.
After the moment of silence, Vivian picks up the conversation for the blonde. “You alright, Bon-Bon? What can I do for you?”
The blonde was a little out of it, finding herself grinning like a schoolgirl-or, whatever that looked like for Siobhan.It had been so long since she’d heard her voice, she had to process exactly what Vivian said, realizing that she wasn’t quite paying attention. She got there eventually. “Viv, I’m calling you about Jamie.” Her tone became a little more serious, trying to remind herself that she was getting married in two weeks and she wouldn’t- no- couldn’t let herself believe there was something there for the two of them when there was no way out of her engagement.
Vivian’s face suddenly turned to worry. “Is he alright? “
“He’s been a bit sick, so he is gonna have to go home. I’m sorry If I’ve caught you at work.” Siobhan’s tone did have sorry in it, and that’s not something she did for just anyone.
“It’s okay. You got me just before I went in.” The dark haired woman looked behind her at the building, her head already swimming with questions about what to do. “My friend,” She’s not sure if she’s thinking out loud or giving her an actual plan. “She’ll happily cover my shift for me, so it’s okay, I can come get him.”
“Okay, well,” Siobhann looked out the office door into the toddler room. “From what I can see from the office, he does look fine. However, he has been sick so he will have to stay off for 48 hours.” Her voice turns genuine.”Will you be okay with that?”
Vivian eyes her phone suspiciously, recalling a previous conversation from their meetings. “Is that you offering to babysit?” Allowing herself only the tiniest smile. It’s a mix of torturing Siobhan, and genuine curiosity.
Siobhan’s eyes shot open, her brows scrunching together, realizing how she came off. “Um,”
She interrupts. “I’m kidding.” Vivian shook her head with a small laugh. “I know that despite your job, you’re not actually the biggest fan of kids.”
Siobhan’s face turned serious. Vivian didn’t think that she would actually do it, did she? “I will watch Jamie if you need me to.”
“Wow,” Vivian’s face was covered with genuine shock. She didn’t actually expect her to offer, like, ever, in her life. “This new nursery has certainly changed you.”
Siobhann raised an ‘as if’ brow and pulled her head back. “I have always said if you’re ever struggling for work, I would watch him.” She was trying to conceal the defense in her voice.
“Yeah, but I always just assumed that was a bit of an empty threat.” She looked to the side and nodded her head, a small smirk dancing on her lips.
Siobhan scowled at the phone, her mouth moving closer to the receiving end. “Threat?” Her voice was stern.
Though Vivian wasn’t scared of Siobhan, that definitely sent a shiver down her spine. “Oh, sorry, I misspoke. I meant offer.” Her tone came across as ribbing, but she didn’t want to find out what would happen if she didn’t correct herself.
Siobhan paused for a moment, rolling her eyes, once again fighting the smile creeping its way onto her lips at her friend’s jest. “Do you need me to watch Jamie? I know you don’t have anyone else to call, and taking two days off as a nurse is not easy.” They’d discussed her job before, sometimes shifts went past even twelve hours. It helped her be more understanding when Vivian had to pick up late, which is why she offered if needed.
Vivian smiled like a school girl, blinking twice, then looking at the ground, trying to stop the pounding her chest was doing. “I can actually do the first day, but if you wouldn’t mind just helping me with a few hours on Thursday, that would be great.” She’d been so used to doing things alone that she hated asking for help. She didn’t think she would ever get used to it.
Siobhan’s far off smitten smile quickly dropped. “Thursday?” It was hard to hide the worry in her tone.
“Yeah, my friend is on shift with me, so she won’t be able to cover me.”
Siobhan took a deep breath, her stomach dropped as if she were on an elevator falling too fast. She closed her eyes and knitted her brows together before responding. “I can’t do Thursday. I have my,” She pauses, deciding if she should lie, but ultimately knowing that Vivian would know if she did. “Wedding dress fitting.” The words felt vile leaving her mouth.
Vivian’s face dropped. It was so easy to forget about that detail when Siobhan was around. It was like no one else existed except the two of them. “Right, of course, yeah, you’re getting married in a couple of weeks, you’re probably busier than I am.” She says it all too quickly for her own liking, embarrassment filling her cheeks for allowing herself to get caught up in the moment. “Not tomorrow. I’ll find someone else who can do it. Okay, thanks very much. Buh-bye.”
As Vivan was quickly trying to end the call, Siobhan tried to come up with another solution, at this point just looking for another reason to see the woman again before it was too late. “I can try-” Click. Vivian had already ended the call. She put the phone down and sighed, she needed a strong drink. As she was about to take a moment to feel the embarrassment and sadness she was feeling, she saw Marjorie and pulled herself together just a bit longer.
Thursday 7:30AM:
Siobhan was standing at Vivian’s door. She mustered up the courage to ring the doorbell and put her hands on her hips, a stern look on her face. “Coming!” The woman’s voice came from inside. The blonde nervously took a couple of seconds to make sure her hair was in the right place, heart pounding.
When Vivian opened the door, she was shocked to see her visitor. “Hiya Bon-Bon, you alright?” her brows knitted together in confusion. “How did you know where I…?
Siobhan fixed her stern look on the other woman. “I got your address from the nursery. They said you called and asked if they knew of anyone who could last minute babysit.” She crossed her arms, narrowing her eyes at the dark haired woman.
Vivian clicked her tongue and shook her head. “Those tattletails.” Her tone teasing. Truly she was just trying to hide her embarrassment with humor. “So, they sent you?”
“No, I think I’m the last person they would send. I…Volunteered” She looked away from the other woman to hide her true intentions; albeit not well.
Vivian smiled, mouth open slightly like she was going to say something, then paused, leaning against the doorway. “I didn’t think I’d see the day that Siobhann Serpent volunteered to babysit.’ She crossed her arms and tilted her head.
“I wouldn’t have to volunteer, if someone hadn’t hung up on me the other day, when I was trying to help you.” Siobhan’s words were biting as she pushed her way past Vivian, and into the house. “I’m taking the day shift, then Mia will be here around 3pm to take over when I have my…” She deliberately looked away from Vivian and lifted her hand to rub the back of her neck. “Appointment.” She finished.
Vivian’s brows scrunched together, watching the blonde march into her home. “Please, come in.” with A hint of sarcasm in her tone, she shut the door behind her. “I don’t need your pity, if that’s what this is about. I actually just got a hold of a sitter.” She took her phone out of her pocket and waved it. “You have an out.”
Siobhan took a step closer to Vivian and towards the door. Her arms still folded, she smirked and quirked a brow. “Okay.”
“Okay?” She was skeptical, this seemed far too easy.
“Prove it.” Somehow the blonde knew she had the upper hand in the situation.
“Prove what?” Vivian took a step towards the other woman, feigning ignorance.
Siobhan gestured towards Vivian’s phone, still in her hand. “Prove to me you have a sitter, and I’ll go.” She mirrored the other woman’s movements and took a step forward like they were playing a game of chicken.
Vivian grimaced playfully. “Weeeellllll…” She drew out the word.
“You,” She leaned her head forward and poked Vivian in the chest with her index finger. “Are a terrible liar.” She turned and surveyed the house, making a mental note of where some of the things were. It was a nice place. Cleaner than she expected for a single mom who often worked twelve-hour shifts. “Viv, is it so terrible to accept help?” With her back to the raven-haired woman, she turns her head to the side so she can almost see her. “Or is it just that it’s my help?”
Vivian sighed and shook her head. “Bon-Bon, you know that’s not it.”
Siobhan turned to face her, staring her straight in the eyes. “Then tell me Viv, what is it?”
They stared at each other a moment, unsaid words hanging between them.
Suddenly, Jamie came running into the room. “Mum! Mum!” He ran up to his mother and tugged on the hem of her shirt.
Vivian’s face turned soft and smiled. “Hi sweetie, You alright?” She ran a playful hand through his hair, messing it up a bit.
The boy tugged on her shirt again urging her to come down to his level.
She appeased him and leaned down far enough so he could whisper into her ear. When he did, Vivian let out a soft laugh. “No, you can’t have chocolate for breakfast.” She stood back up, pulling the boy up and into her arms. “Jamie, this is Siobhan. She’s going to be taking care of you while I’m at work, okay?”
The boy nodded in response, looking at Siobhan with a blank face, as if sizing her up. He settles on a greeting. “Hi Sibawn.” Accompanied by a small wave.
Vivian smiles, beaming at the boy and sets him down. “Jamie, why don’t you grab some toys to show Siobhan? Oh, and your jacket too, it’s supposed to be quite cold today.”
“Okay, mum.” He did a little kid run out of the room and into his room to grab his things.
That feeling in Siobhan’s chest was back, the contagious glow that Vivian always rubbed off on her. They stared at each other in silence for another moment. “So,” She finally started. “What’s the routine?”
Vivian proceeded to show her where everything was at, and write her a timed routine, as well as some medicine he’s been taking to help him recover from his illness faster.
“I think that’s everything.” The dark-haired woman looked around the room to make sure she didn’t forget anything. She grabbed her purse and pulled on her shoes. “I’ve got to go, call if you need anything, yeah?”
Siobhan nodded quietly.
“You sure you still have my number?” Vivian smirked, throwing the blonde a wink.
Siobhan rolled her eyes and folded her arms. “Viv, you’re going to be late.” She raised her brows and tilted her head forward in a look that said ‘really?’
“Sorry, I’m turning into one of those parents, aren’t I? Okay, well, I’m off. I guess I’ll see you around since I won’t see you when I get back.” She grabbed her keys and started out the door.
“Bye love.” Slipped out of Siobhan’s mouth accidentally. Her eyes wide and her face red she quickly followed up with- “Viv! Bye Viv.” Correcting herself.
Vivian turned back towards Siobhan, a look of teasing shock, then followed by a smug smile. She had never seen the other woman so red before. “See ya sweetheart” She threw her another wink before heading out the door. Did that really just happen?
Did that really just happen? Siobhan put her hand to her temples shaking her head for no one other than herself, utterly mortified. She tried so desperately to stop the feelings she had towards her friend when she had no other choice than to go through with her marriage. If Roger found out…well, if she were being honest with herself, she wasn’t sure she would make it out in one piece. His temper always got the better of him.
Jamie came out of his room with some toys and his jacket. “Look, Sibawn!” He held out a toy dinosaur. “His name Denny.” He holds it out further for Siobhan to take so he can hold a toy pirate that was under his arm. “Dis Mr.Goldie.” He takes the dinosaur back from Siobhan and runs into the living room with both the toys.
“My goodness, you certainly do have good taste.” She followed the boy into the living room. “I heard that you like coloring.” Which earned her a bobbed nod from the little boy. “And I’ve heard a rumor you’re a fan of dragons as well.” The boy kept nodding. Siobhan reached into her purse, and pulled out a dragon coloring book
Jamie took the coloring book with a gleam in his eye. “I show you my crayon collection!” He took Siobhan by the hand and led her to his playroom. When they got there, he pulled out a big box filled with crayons and set it on a lego building table. He promptly opened the coloring book, flipping through the pages before picking on, pulling it out from the book and handing it to Siobhan. “You color this one.” He patted the paper to make sure she was going to join him in coloring.
Siobhan smiled, that soft glow feeling hitting her stomach again. The young boy’s smile looked so much like his mother’s, “Hmmm, what color do you think I should make this dragon?” Her face scrunches together in faux deep thought.
“I think you should color it….Blue!” He picks out a crayon and hands it over to Siobhan, then quickly digs through the box to find colors for his own drawing.
Before Siobhan knew it, it was his nap time, and she was by herself for a moment.
She paced around the house a little bit, not quite sure what to do with herself. She looked at her phone briefly, several missed calls and texts from Roger that she was choosing not to worry about at the moment. There was one missed call that came from a number she didn’t recognize, so she checked the voicemail they left. It was her tailor for the wedding, she’d come down with the same thing that had been going around the nursery, and she was going to have to reschedule. “Shit.” She muttered out loud. Roger was not going to be happy. She sent a brief text message to Mia– “Won’t need you tonight. Tailor needs to reschedule.”
From there she paced, not really sure what to do with herself until Jamie woke from his nap. In her aimless walk, she accidentally ran into a bookshelf in the living room and a singular book fell onto the floor, its pages open. She crouched to pick it up, and accidentally read one of its beautifully handwritten lines-
“ Did I hang on too long to every accidental touch
Did I wonder what you'd think if I called more than once
Did I ever have to worry about what tequila and I said
Or have I just forgotten how to be your friend
And I hate that you're my constant
When I constantly wish we were more
I wish that we could go back
To the way we saw each other before”
At the risk of sounding vain, Siobhan couldn’t help but wonder if it was about her. She knew she shouldn’t, but she turned the page, curiosity getting the better of her. This time there were photos of Vivian, Jamie and who she could only guess was Jamie’s father based off of his facial features. She felt a small amount of disappointment that the previous page had not continued, so she decided to flip to the page prior to the poem-
“Dream journal- it started with a woman, I couldn’t make out who, but I have a guess. All I remember is a pair of hazel eyes and blonde hair. The face changed every time I saw her, but those features remained. She held me in a comforting embrace where the stressors of life just melted away. Suddenly she’s gone. I’m not sure where she went, but I knew I needed her. I looked for her everywhere. She would show up for a few seconds and I would try and hold her, but then she was gone in a puff of smoke before I got the chance.
This is an easy dream because I know what it’s about. I once heard someone say ‘I am an onlooker, and she is Icarus. I beg her not to go, but the sun calls her like a moth to a flame, destined to be burned.’
In some cases, I am the onlooker. In others, I am Icarus, and she is the sun. Either way the situation doesn’t end well for anyone.
Loving her could put her in the most danger and I can’t figure out how to stop.”
Siobhan’s heart stopped. ‘ Loving her’ . Assuming this was about her, did Vivian really feel that way? Was Vivian in love with her?
She bit her lip and searched for a pen. Knowing that most people don’t re-read their diaries, Siobhan decided to make an entry of her own-
“Viv, loving you is like loving the stars themselves, so beautiful and bright, but so out of reach”
She looked at it for a moment, her hand running over the page, realizing she was admitting to herself how she was feeling. She loved Vivian and it scared the hell out of her.
She quickly closed the book and returned it to where she hoped was the proper place on the shelf, hoping that particular page wouldn’t be opened anytime soon.
When Vivian returned home from work, there was a peculiar sight waiting for her; In her living room were Siobhan and Jamie, playing hotel—
The two had not heard Vivian come in, so their play continued.
Siobhan had a play phone in her hand (unlike the real one Viv was used to seeing her glued to).
“Hello the Serpent hotel, yes, mmhmm, yes I can confirm your room on November 2nd. Yes, thank you for calling, buh-bye.” The blonde hung up the phone and looked at Jamie who was standing in front of the ‘front desk’.
“Ding, ding, ding!” He pretended to press an imaginary bell.
“Yes sir, what can I do for you?”
Jamie holds a finger above his mouth, pretending it’s a mustache, lowering his voice as much as he can. “Hello mam. I have a room for three nights. The name is Mr. Doodie pants.” Jamie tries to hold back a laugh but he’s unsuccessful.
“Sir! It is undignified to use that kind of language in the lobby. I’m afraid I’m going to have to have you escorted from the building. Security!” She called out cupping her hand to her mouth.
“Not security!” Jamie wailed, running out of the ‘hotel’. He ran all the way to the front door where he was surprised to see his mother.
Vivian put her index finger to her lips with a small “Shh.” She crouched down and picked up the boy on her back, as if he were a backpack.
Siobhan was pretending to type on a computer, waiting for Jamie to come back as another character, when Vivian walked into the living room, Jamie on her back.
“Hello Madame,” Vivian beamed at the blonde. “I have a reservation for ‘Ms. Behavin.’ For two nights.”
Siobhan showed a little shock at first, not expecting the raven-haired woman in front of her. When she announced her name, she couldn’t help but flash her a mischievous smile. “Alright ‘Ms. Behavin’ here is your card” she hands her a queen of hearts. “You’ll be in room 102.”
Vivian smiled, taking the card. “Thank you miss.” She set Jamie down and rubbed her shoulders. “Boy, this backpack is heavy.”
Jamie giggled and ran off, so when Vivian turned around, she feigned shock. “Hey! Where’s my backpack gone?” She looked around dramatically and scoffed.
Siobhan scrunched her brows together, looking over her makeshift desk. “That’s odd, I don’t think it could have grown legs and run off.” She flashed the other woman a small knowing smile, breaking character for a moment. “I’ll help you look. Our reputation would be ruined if people thought we had a backpack thief running around.”
They knew exactly where he was of course, they could hear him giggling from behind the playroom door. Still, they made a big show of looking everywhere, under couches, in the dishwasher, the cabinets, yelling “backpack! Where are you?”
Siobhan walks into the playroom and surveys it. “Hmm, I don't see a backpack in here.” She purposely found him behind the door and said “Ah! Backpack! There you are!” She picked up Jamie and yelled over to Vivian. “Excuse me, mam? Meanwhile, Jaime continued to giggle uncontrollably. “This one is labeled, ‘Ms. Behavin.’ Might it be yours?”
Vivian walks over and takes Jamie from Siobhan, looking him over. “You found it! My goodness you must be a magic backpack!” She turned her attention to Siobhan and smiled. “How can I ever repay you for your help?” Her tone was soft in a way that suggested perhaps she wasn’t in character anymore.
Siobhan’s chest filled with that glow that once again the other woman managed to pull out of her, an involuntary smile on her lips. “No thanks necessary mam. Enjoy your stay and feel free to leave us a glowing review.”
Vivian nods her head to the side and shrugs. “Sounds like a reasonable request.” She looked over at Jamie and smiled. “Did you have fun today?”
Jamie nodded, “Sibawn gave me a coloring book!”
“A coloring book?” Vivian smiled and looked over at the blonde who had her arms crossed, her index finger scratching a spot on her neck clearly avoiding eye contact. “Can you show me?”
He nods again and runs back into the living room where he had left it to retrieve it.
She turned to Siobhan and grinned. “Who’s this? Softie Siobhan?” She teased.
Siobhan narrowed her eyes on the woman. “Utter one word of this at the nursery and I will never speak to you again.”
“I thought you had an… appointment to go to?”
“My tailor caught whatever has been going around and had to reschedule.” Not being able to make eye contact with the woman once again, she wondered if she ever even looked at her properly.
Vivian hummed. “How convenient.” She folded her arms, leaned forward and squinted her eyes. “Are you sure you weren’t just having a good time?” She teased.
Siobhan rolled her eyes, shaking her head in disbelief.
Vivian took a step towards her. “After all, Mia could have taken over, right?”
Siobhan was worn down. “Fine. I was having a good time, is that what you want to hear?” She huffed.
Vivian raised her brows. “Certainly not what I was expecting to hear, but that’s what I was getting at, yeah.” Her grin turned a little too smug for Siobhan’s liking.
They stared at each other a little too long, both of them unaware of the smiles on their faces.
“Well, I should be off, I suppose.” She walked to the front door with Vivian shortly behind.
Jamie ran up with his coloring book to show his mom. “Mum, will Sibawn be back tomorrow?” He asks, grabbing his mother’s leg.
Siobhan put her heels back on and smiled. “I won’t be here tomorrow, but you’ll see me at the Nursery, okay?” The little boy ran up to her and gave her an unexpected hug that kind of shocked her. It felt like her heart grew three sizes. God damn it, she was going soft. “Bye Sweetie.” She hugged the boy a little tighter, making eye contact with Vivian who had her head leaned on the wall with a warm smile.
“Thank you again.” Said Vivian, opening the door for the blonde.
“I would do anything for you Viv,” She looked deep into the dark grey eyes of the other woman, her tone coated in sincerity. “You don’t have to thank me.” And with that, she took her leave, secretly hoping she’d be back to babysit again.