Chapter Text
"Well that adventure was s[#@%]." Zooble was the first to walk through the portal; somehow looking the least beat up from the cast. The mismatch shapes didn't even want to be on this adventure; they were only here because Caine was starting to get worried they'd abstract or something. They were promised an easy adventure. Oh, they got it easy... but at what cost?
The rest of the cast came through the portal and flopped on the ground. All of them.
Pomni was soaking wet and had bite marks all over her body, Gangle had three knots in her chest, Ragatha's arms were both gone, Jax had twigs and burn marks all over him, and Kinger... Zooble didn't know what he saw, but it might as well have been the Devil because he looked about as traumatized as the jester after her first day. How was Zooble, you ask? Well, they were fine. All they did was walk through a maze.
So, Caine had promised them an easy adventure, but the others got the normal experience. Just another reminder of why the mismatched shapes always avoided these shitty adventures. 'Keeping our minds stable and sane' my ass.
Pomni groaned as she crawled away from the other cast members before collapsing again. "I'm going to punch that cavity filled pair of dentures straight in the teeth if he ever puts us through that horses[&^%] again." She sat up and began wringing water out of her hat.
"Then start curling your fists." Jax was brushing off some dirt he had on himself. He reached into his ear and pulled out a small stick. "Now that you've," He threw his hands up into air quotes, "'adjusted', we're going to get those type of adventures at least once a week."
Gangle stumbled into Zooble and blushed with embarrassment. "Can you... uh... untie me?" Zooble took a closer look and saw that the knots were double knots. Which psychopath did that???
"Yeah, just let me see them." The mismatched shapes managed to grab hold of one of the knots and slowly began to loosen it up."
As they were trying to focus, Ragatha walked slowly over to the jester and gave her a positive smile. "Oh, the adventure wasn't that bad; was it? It had some fun moments."
"Ragatha..." Pomni rubbed her non-existent nose. "Both of your arms are gone, and you're trying to call that hellish experience 'fun'?"
The doll laughed nervously and cleared her throat. "Well, my arms get ripped off in stuff like this all the time! I-It's... normal." The jester didn't respond to that.
Right as Zooble finished untying the last knot on Gangle, Jax took their arm and used it to scratch his back. "Hey, how come you and Kinger look perfectly fine-"
He was cut off by Kinger loudly screaming at the top of his lungs before shaking in the fetal position. "Nightmares..." He whispered quietly.
"Uh-... never mind." Jax darted his eyes around awkwardly before continuing. "How come you look completely okay but dollface, ribbons, hoo-haa, short stack, and me all went through hell and back?" Zooble grabbed his throat with the hand he had stolen.
"THAT'S BECAUSE-" Caine was cut off by Kinger and Pomni's howls of terror. The ringmaster stared at the weirdly until they calmed down. "THAT'S BECAUSE I NEEDED SOME WAY FOR OUR DEAR, ZOOBLE, TO TAG ALONG ON THIS ADVENTURE!" He pulled Zooble closer and they felt their antennas twitch in annoyance. "I PROMISED THEM A NICE, EASY ADVENTURE SINCE I KNOW THEY'RE NOT NECESSARILY A FAN OF THE BIG, GRAND ADVENTURES! MAKES SENSE OF COURSE THOUGH, BESIDES POMNI, YOU ARE THE NEWEST OF THE CAST!"
The jester's eye twitched and she grabbed her hat. Her teeth had become long, sharp fangs and her eyes started to scribble. "What? So just because Zooble doesn't want to go on the stupid adventures, they get special treatment?!"
"W-WELL, POMNI-"
"You think I enjoy this?" She interrupted. "Do you think any of us enjoy this?"
Zooble pushed away from Caine and looked to the ground. Pomni was right, it wasn't fair.
"MY DEAR JESTER," Caine floated over to Pomni who was stepping back, looking on edge and angry. "IT'S DIFFERENT WITH YOU-" He grabbed her shoulder, then the other.
Pomni threw his hands off and screamed in his face, "Don't f[&%#]ing touch me!" Her chest heaved, and her short frame shook violently. Caine looked a bit taken aback by the jester's sudden outrage. He floated in the air just staring at her before she walked over to the rag doll's side.
Ragatha gave her a concerned look as they whispered something hard to hear. "Pomni... you shouldn't have done that-"
"I can't deal with this anymore..."
Zooble stopped listening and rubbed their temples. This is exactly why they don't go on adventures. If the stupid events weren't stressful enough, the drama afterwards made up for it.
Caine cleared his throat and fidgeted with his cane. His eyes darted around before he began to speak in a quieter tone. "W-Well... you see; I had already made today's adventure, but I had to make last minute changes so Zooble would agree to come along. I uh-... overlooked the fact that the rest of you would have liked the same."
"It's called common-sense you-" The jester's frustrated yells were cut off by Jax tripping her in her step. He looked away with slight worry in his eyes.
The ringmaster floated higher up into the air and snapped his fingers so the cast was all healed up again. He then put his loud and eccentric voice back on full display. "HOW ABOUT I MAKE IT UP TO YOU ALL WITH A GIFT?"
Jax looked up with confusion before pushing the small jester to the ground again. "A gift?"
"INDEED! I'LL LET YOU ALL CHOOSE THE REWARD FOR SUCCESSFULLY COMPLETING THIS ADVENTURE! ANYTHING OF YOUR CHOOSING!"
"Booze." Jax snickered. His yellow grin stretched across his face as he waited for everyone to start getting pissed at him.
"Wait, that's a good idea."
"I could use a drink."
"That sounds quite nice actually."
"Huh, what are we talking about?"
"Eh, sounds like a plan."
Jax seemed a bit surprised everyone was agreeing with him for once. He probably should have said something more offensive if he wanted a negative reaction. "Woah, woah, it was a joke. I doubt Dentures over there would actually let us."
A collective sigh of disappointment rung through the cast. Zooble, though, thought about it for a minute. "But like, isn't drinking technically within the terms of 'family friendly.'"
"Zooble," Pomni sighed; seemly already given up on the idea. "If you convince Caine to let us drink alcohol, I'll drink an entire large bottle of vodka in one sitting."
The rabbit's smile only seemed to get wider. "Wanna bet?"
Pomni rolled her eyes and crossed her arms. "Of course not! Are you crazy?"
Jax whispered something into Pomni's non-existent ear and her eyes widened. She sighed and held her hand out for the rabbit to shake. "Deal." The rabbit shook her hand with a massive grin on his face. Zooble didn't put much thought into it as they kept their brain buzzing.
"I know Caine is... whatever he is; but drinking booze isn't all terrible and whatnot. You see it in kid's movies all the f[&%#]ing time!"
"I don't know, Zooble..." Ragatha muttered. "That's gonna take some convincing and luck."
The mismatched shapes looked down to the ground. Why don't they try? They could at least make an effort. I guess it's the least I could do... after today. "Yo, Caine."
The ringmaster got right up in Zooble face an began shouting. "WHAT IS IT, MY ABSTRACT FRIEND?" The mismatched shapes pushed him away.
"First off, don't use that term to describe me. Second off, we've chosen our 'reward' thing."
"OH? AND WHAT WOULD THAT BE?"
Zooble looked to the cast. They all seemed pretty hopeless, but curious to see the ringmaster's answer. "Well..." Zooble murmured. "How about a drinking bar?"
"Oh..." Caine looked a bit taken aback by the request. He blinked and played with his fingers. "AS IN, ALCOHOL?"
The bundle of shapes crossed their arms and cleared their throat. "Yeah..."
The ringmaster floated down to the casts' level. He looked a bit uncomfortable if Zooble was being honest. "W-well, Zooble," He practically whispered. "I'm not 100% sure if that's within our family friendly bounds."
"I get that; but," The mismatched shapes switched their antennas to try and distract themselves from this awkward conversation. "drinking really isn't... that bad? Is it? Like, don't a bunch of kid's books and movies have it?"
Caine seemed to perk up a bit at that. "Oh, t-thats... that's true." He took off his top hat and dug through it. He brought out a comically large textbook that read, 'The Amazing Digital Circus Rating System'. He opened it up and muttered some numbers to himself. "Okay... page 53,020,094.... section 682,143 of chapter 19,859,328... should be on the section of c's... AHA! RIGHT HERE!" He pointed to a small section in such tiny text, an ant would need a magnifying glass to read it. "IT SAYS RIGHT THERE THAT ALCOHOL IS ALLOWED WITHIN THE DIGITAL CIRCUS AS LONG AS NO BRAND NAMES ARE MENTIONED OR SHOWN! That's a bit of a weird rule..."
Pomni and Jax began freaking out. "Wait, no!"
"BAHAHAHAHA! Looks like short-stack's gonna be a bit tipsy tonight!"
Caine closed the massive book and shoved it back in his hat. "IT SEEMS I AM ABLE TO FUFILL YOUR DESIRES! WHO WILL KEEP CHARGE OF IT WHILE I'M WORKING ON TOMORROW’S ADVENTURE WITH BUBBLE?"
Zooble spoke up almost immediately. "I'm pretty sure I worked at a bar back before the headset. I'll make sure none of you die." They looked very specifically to Pomni who looked extremely nervous.
"WONDERFUL! MAKE SURE NOT TO BE TOO CARELESS! WE STILL NEED TO KEEP THIS CIRCUS READY FOR ALL AGES!" And with that, the ringmaster snapped his fingers and disappeared.
Zooble turned around and saw a small door in the middle of the room. It was brown with a golden knob. Right as the bundle of shapes was about to open it, Pomni got right between them and the door. "Wait! Trust me, you do not want to go in there!"
"Uh... why?"
"W-Well... It leads to-"
Pomni wasn't tall enough to block the door knob, so Zooble twisted it and opened the door. It lead to a low lit room; there were some small seats and low tables scattered throughout, but what caught Zooble's eye was a long bar filled with high seats. Behind the bar was a decent selection of different drinks. They were all unlabeled, but they were definitely alcohol.
The jester turned around with shock filling her eyes. "You were saying?" Zooble lightly taunted.
"N-never mind..." Pomni looked a bit bothered, but she walked inside the room before the mismatched shapes could really get a good look at her face.
The rest of the cast was pilling in when Zooble noticed Kinger was nowhere to be seen. They took a look outside and saw Kinger setting up his fortress. "Yo, Kinger!"
The chess piece perked his head up at the mention of his name. He shuffled over the bundle of shapes with a pillow in his hand. "Do you need something, Zooble?"
"Yeah, don't you wanna come in?"
The chest piece... smiled?... "Oh, no thanks, I don't drink. Besides..." Trauma and terror filled his eyes and he shook slightly in place. "I have a therapy section with the roly-polies I collected yesterday." Zooble pretty much looked everywhere but Kinger's face. That was so fucking creepy for no reason. "Oh don't worry, it's about their trauma; not mine!"
Yeah... that makes it so much better... "Okay then... you're free to join us."
"I'll come in a bit. I'd watch Pomni though, she's kind of small. I don't think her body can handle much..."
The bundle of shapes saw the jester climbing on to one of the high chairs with Jax absolutely laughing his ass off. She flipped him off, albeit, censored, before she banged her head on the counter. Ragatha seemed to be talking to Pomni with a worried face; probably trying to convince her to bail out of the bet.
"Yeah... I'll keep an eye on her."
"Huh? Keep an eye on who?" Kinger looked around frantically; seemly lost.
Zooble groaned and face-palmed. "Your therapy session, Kinger."
"Oh. Oh, right! I'll see you in a bit." He then shuffled back to his pillow fort- erm... impenetrable fortress, and closed the... the door? Why was this place so confusing???
The mismatched shapes closed the brown door behind them and stumbled over to behind the bar. They cleaned a glass cup and and looked up and saw Gangle, Ragatha, Pomni, and Jax all in front of them; waiting to be served. "Wow, okay, I feel like I'm 18 again." They shook their head and placed the glass right in front of them. "What do you guys want?"
Jax was wiping his tears from pure laughter. "I-I ha! I don't want anything. I gotta stay sober to see and enjoy shorty over here taking in an entire bottle of vodka!" He erupted into laughter once more and Pomni looked like she was literally plotting murder. Honestly, she probably was.
"Uh, Pom-Pom?" The rag doll fiddled with her fingers a bit before letting out a nervous laugh. "You don't have to fulfill the bet if you don't want to. That's a lot of alcohol... especially for you."
Zooble threw a towel over at the rabbit's face and sighed. "Rags is right. I won't serve you unless you're completely cool with that, Poms."
The jester took a deep breath. "It's alright." She gave Jax a dirty look before continuing. "I'm a woman of my word... I guess..." She rolled her eyes before looking at the floor and tapping her fingers together. "Just, uh-... letting you know I'm a bit..." She cleared her throat and took another deep breath. "lightweight... so, excuse whatever I say or do."
The bundle of shapes rummaged through some bottles until they found a decent vodka. They smacked it onto the counter and got a glass ready. "I figured; considering your size."
Pomni crossed her arms. "Yeah, yeah. I've heard it before."
"Ooooohhhh! This is gonna be entertaining!" Jax chuckled.
Zooble still wasn't sure on letting Pomni go through with her deal with the rabbit; but the jester really wouldn't do something if she didn't want to. The reason behind her being okay with downing an entire bottle of vodka when she clearly didn't want to was beyond Zooble.
Gangle, who had been very quiet up until now, nervously tapped the mismatched shapes' shoulder. "Zooble... could I get a sake?" A light blush stained the bundle of ribbons' face.
"Yeah, sure. I'll share one with you. Let me just serve Pomni real quick."
"Oh," The rag doll spoke up. "Could I get a champagne after Gangle?"
"Yeah, just gimme a sec."
They got out a fancy glass cup and served a bit of the thick liquid into it. They handed it off to Pomni who sniffed it and flinched away. "Okay! That is definitely vodka." She sighed and took a few sips before coughing a bit. "Jesus Christ..."
Yeah... I'm definitely keeping an eye on her. Whether Pomni agreed to the deal or not, if she can't handle anymore, they'll make sure she doesn't go over the edge. Yeah, they might have to beat up Jax a bit; but hey, that's a normal Thursday for them at this point.
The bundle of shapes reached under the counter and brought out some warm sake. They handed it off to Gangle before popping some champagne and nearly hitting Jax with the cork (that may or may not have been an accident).
Pomni had already finished a glass and placed it on the counter. She held her head a bit before shaking it. "Good God... O-okay, the faster the better, right?"
"Let's see this unfold." The rabbit seemed to barely be able to keep his cackling in check. He wiped away a few tears before grabbing the entire bottle. "Why don't ya just chug it?"
Zooble took the bottle back and smacked Jax's hand. "I'm gonna need three of these to deal with you." They refilled the jester's glass and gave the rabbit a mean stink eye.
"Sure, antagonize me so more." The jackrabbit didn't seem to take the insult all too seriously. He was way too focused on seeing how drunk Pomni was going to be in about... I don't know; probably five minutes.
"Could you not stare at me while I poison myself?" Pomni shoved Jax out of her face. Ragatha, once again, tried to talk her out of this bet.
"Poms, seriously, maybe it's better if-"
"Look I can handle myself okay?" It seems the alcohol was already making Pomni a bit more... honest. "I'm not a f[#@%]ing child! Leave me alone, dammit!"
The rag doll looked away, a bit teary eyed, and took a long sip of her drink. The jester sighed and also took another sip. "I'm sorry..."
"It's fine..." Great tension. They barely started.
This is gonna be a long night... Zooble thought as they poured themselves a bit of sake. They took a light slurp of the warm liquid. Better stay somewhat sober for this.