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Summers in Peach Creek were by far the best they could get, in Kevin's opinion, that is.
On the bright, somehow calm, summer afternoon, Kevin sat on the concrete before his garage while he tinkered away at his beloved bike. At some points, he would stand up, wipe off some minimal sweat that had began to collect on his forehead, take a swig of some Pitt Cola he still hadn't finished, and continue working on advancing his bike. Activities like these would always somehow manage to take Kevin away from reality, leaving just himself and his bike.
The occasional sounds of the Cul-de-Sac behind him seemed to turn into background noise, and yet, it was comforting in a sense. Suburbs are weird, Kevin knew that, but an odd feeling of familiarity came with it as well. Like you knew everyone, you grow up with them -that is unless they move out- and it just... feels like home.
Yuck, that was cheesy.
Shaking his head slightly, Kevin redirected his focus back towards his bike. He continued to tighten a nut around another part with his wrench, before something caught his eye. Leaning down to the front tire of the bike, Kevin glared at the offending object, turning to the pile of bolts beside him, and back to the bike. His face eventually grew with shock and mild annoyance.
"I'm missing a bolt!?" He exclaimed, Kevin was sure he hadn't mis-counted, "Urgh..! Whatever, I'll check if dad has any."
The redhead boy lifted himself from his crouched position, letting the wrench he once held in his grip fall to the ground with a loud CLANK. Kevin glided towards his father's workshop within the garage, the bench in the furthest corner of the room was where he kept his tools and what-not.
Kevin only had to stand on the tips of his toes just slightly! Not like anyone could see, but man that would've been embarrassing. He sifted through the collection of nuts his father kept, occasionally pricking his hand with a screw but paid no mind to it. No bolts.
Throwing his head back with a groan of frustration, Kevin kicked at the ground as he made his way back to his bike, leaving the drawer still wide open.
Kevin kept his head down through the short walk, watching as the pavement slowly trailed beneath his feet, along with some old black skid-marks he had created during his previous rides on his bike. His frustration began to shrink down into annoyance, which was quickly replaced by a small bit of curiosity when a certain voice filtered into his ears.
"C'mon, C'MON! Where is he?"
His eyes were trained on Eddy, who was dashing about the sidewalk just across the street from him, the other dork, Ed, stumbling behind. Kevin watched as they ran into the lane, followed by a chorus of loud crashes from trash cans, then reappeared to bolt further down the Cul-de-Sac.
Kevin scoffed, those dorks would always find ways to piss him off. Not that they were doing anything bad at the moment, but anything those dorks do in general can be bad. To be fair, however, most of his grudges are held against Eddy, that short-stacked dork. The other two were... they're.. fine. Ed was an idiot and Double D was sometimes a stuck-up nerd. But even then, when alone, they're pretty alright. Not Eddy, of course.
The boy's eyes widened in shock slightly, did he just call the Ed's, well- only two of them, ALRIGHT? The Dorks he had been chasing for the entire summer thus far? And he thinks they're ALRIGHT?
"The heat must be getting to me, man..." Kevin grumbled, rubbing at the side of his head like there was some imaginary headache forming. At least it would take his mind off the two dorks-
Wait, two dorks?
Kevin's eyes squinted at the remaining Ed's that were running back and forth between their two houses. And lo-and-behold, they seemed to be missing someone. There was a serious lack of the black and white beanie, orange shirt, purple shorts, red socks dork. Something was happening here, and that would either result in someone getting trashed, or the entire Cul-de- Sac for that matter.
He began to stalk towards the two, "Hey, ya Dorks!" Kevin called at them.
At the yell of their newly permanent nickname, Eddy screeched to a halt to quickly shoot an annoyed glare at Kevin, which resulted in Ed tumbling into Eddy from behind, sending both of them flying to Kevin's left. He just barely let out a huff of laughter.
As Kevin continued to walk over, Eddy was squirming underneath Ed, shoving the other in order for him to get up. Once they had gotten back onto their feet, Kevin and Eddy had an almost-stare off. Eddy’s scowl very much contrasted Ed’s dumb yet still happy grin.
”Hi Kevin!” Ed shouted at the boy who simply stood right before him, causing both himself and Eddy to flinch.
”Shut up, Lumpy! You’re gonna make me go deaf.” Eddy frowned, smacking Ed on the backside of his head, before turning back to Kevin, “Whaddya want, shovelchin? We’re kinda in the middle of something.”
Kevin scoffed at the nickname, but ultimately paid not attention to it, “Yeah, that’s the point. What are you dorks doing and where’s the rest of you?”
Ed lifted an eyebrow (in what way he could, considering the monobrow) in mild confusion, and Eddy didn’t seem to get it either, “I ain’t short!”
”Not what I was saying, dude.” Kevin groaned, rubbing at his temples, “I mean, where’s Double Dweeb at?”
That seemed to get Eddy’s attention, seeing as how his frown seemed to slightly deepen and his eyes widened a fraction. Ed, on the other hand, changed his expression drastically. The taller boy sniffed, and are those tears? “Double D has been stolen! Gone and taken by the evil mole mutants who walk the Earth, taking him as their next victim-“
“Can you shut your mouth?!” Eddy exclaimed as he hastily grabbed at Ed’s lips and held them tight, the only noise seemed to be just muffled crying. Eddy sighed, “Whatever, he’s right. We lost Double D and-“
Kevin just couldn’t help but interrupt, “Bwahaha! You lost him? Well, I should’ve known since you probably couldn’t even see him get dragged away. Not like you can see a mile away, that is.”
Eddy growled in anger as he stared up at the redhead, who was still chuckling, until Ed gasped, releasing himself from Eddy’s own grip, “Double D can take our brains?”
”No he can’t, idiot.” Eddy said, then turning back to Kevin, “And why the heck do you care anyway?” He raised an eyebrow.
“No reason, just wanted to see you dorks fail at something. Again.” Kevin smirked.
Instead of shouting and screaming like Eddy normally does in situations like these, Kevin only watched as the boy instead sharply inhaled, visibly trying to contain his anger, “Whatever. Me and Ed got work to do, go back to kissing your bike or somethin’.”
Eddy promptly waved off Kevin, before beginning to shove Ed across the sidewalk. Kevin rolled his eyes, that was a waste of time. He turned to head back home when a certain shine caught his eyes, coming from Ed’s pocket.
”Hold up!” Kevin shouted, running over in front of Ed to stop him from moving any further, “That- i-in your pocket, is that a..” Kevin could barely finish his sentence! It was the exact bolt he needed for his bike! “Is that a M5 Carriage Bolt?! Where the heck did you dorks get that?” He couldn’t believe his eyes!
Eddy poked his head around Ed’s shoulder, yet the taller boy answered, “Double D left it behind when he was taken by the mutants-“
”Kankers.” Eddy corrected blatantly.
”K-KANKERS?! WHERE??” Ed shouted in fear, the bolt completely forgotten.
”Wait, wait, wait, so Double D had the bolt?” Kevin clarified, eyeing the two boys. He barely caught sight of Eddy’s iconic smirk, before he stepped right in front of Kevin.
”Yup! All his, alright. We were gonna give it back to him once we find him, but y’know the Kankers, they take what they want and never give it back.” Eddy grinned, he was getting at something. Kevin didn’t like where this was going.
”Whatever, not like I care what happens to Double Dork. Can I just have the bolt-“
”Heck no! This is Double D’s,” Eddy had taken the bolt from Ed’s pocket, waving it around before Kevin tauntingly, “And unless we find him, looks like you can’t have it.”
”You expect me to wait for you guys to actually find Double Dork? You can’t even find your own feet, probably!” Kevin internally snickered at his own comeback, yet was masked by his growing annoyance. He knew this would be coming whenever it came to even talking with Eddy.
”Hey! Well then, smart guy, if you want the bolt so bad, why don’t YOU go find Double D yourself?!”
”Maybe I will!”
”Fine!”
“Good!”
”Great!”
”Awesome!”
”Ed!”
In sync, both Eddy and Kevin slowly turned their heads to Ed, painted with a mixture of confusion and upset emotions. Ed stared back with a mindless smile. Eddy turned to Kevin, “How about this; if you find Double D, we give you the bolt. For 1 Dollar.” The shorter boy grinned at the last part.
Kevin raised an eyebrow, giving no answer.
Eddy shifted his feet a bit, “…50 cents?”
No answer.
”25?”
Another eyebrow raise.
”One penny…?”
…
”Argh! Fine! You can have the stupid bolt for free.” Eddy threw his hands up in irritation, but quickly followed up with, “IF. You come back with Double D before dinner time.”
”And if I don’t?” Kevin tested, tilting his head slightly.
”Then we tell Double D you were the one who stepped on his cactus! Duh.”
Kevin’s breath hitched. Anything but that, that dork goes CRAZY if anything happens to that plant. “Wha-Whaddya mean?!”
”C’mon, dude, y’know how the guy gets when it comes to his plants! You’ll be dead meat-“
”Fine! I’ll bring him back before dinner! I don’t care, I just want the bolt.” Kevin sneered, cutting off Eddy, thankfully.
The scammer smirked, “So then, do we got a deal?” Eddy extended a hand for Kevin to take.
He examined the other’s hand, like it was poisoned or cursed, which is probably was. Kevin couldn’t believe he was about to do this. For the bolt-
“…Fine.” Kevin finally shook Eddy’s hand.
The shortest Ed then put the metal bolt into Kevin’s hand, “There’s my end of the deal, now all you gotta do is hold up yours.”
”Yeah, whatever.” Kevin said, flatly, “Wait a sec, do I get any context to what the heck happened? How am I supposed to know where to find Double D anyway?”
Ed burst in to the scene, “The smelly, stinky, scary Kankers! They strike when we are most vulnerable. They have taken poor, sweet, scared, Double D to their evil lair in the woods!” The boy pointed to a clearing in the collection of trees just off the Lane, “It must be a ceremony! A sacrifice to their leader! The worst thing ever known!” Ed yelled as he leaned closer, whispering, “A wedding.”
Kevin recoiled in disgust, “Eugh, first of all, never get that close to me again or I’ll pound ya. Second, a wedding? That’s what this is about?”
Eddy shoved a finger at Kevin, “Hey, we made a deal, buster! And plus, you don’t know the Kankers like we do.” Eddy’s eyes widened in fear, “If Double D isn’t out by dinner, he’s as good as gone.”
That worried Kevin a bit.
”Now, off with you, young brave soldier!” Ed started to push Kevin down the Lane, supposedly to where the Kankers were. Kevin thrashed, “Hey! Get off of me, man! I can get there myself!” He shoved at Ed, the boy somehow being thrown onto the pavement of the Cul-de-Sac from the force.
Kevin mumbled something about dorks, but began to walk back to his house to retieve his other bike, the one that wasn’t currently broken.
When Kevin had returned, Ed and Eddy had left the area. Whatever, not like he cared. Kevin stood for a moment, staring down the Lane in the direction Ed had pointed to before. Why was he doing this? Kevin shook his head, for the bolt, of course.
Kevin leaped onto his bike, beginning to pedal down the dirt path. When a certain voice suddenly called out to him, he fumbled with a bike for a moment.
”Don’t forget the deal, Kev!” Eddy shouted with a grin from over the fence, Ed clearly holding his legs over the wood. Kevin rolled his eyes, he didn’t have time for this.
The Lane was quiet, it always was. If Kevin had to guess, it was probably 2 PM right now, judging by the still bright sun that was out at the moment. Occasionally, a bird chirp could be heard above him before it fly further into the trees. Kevin simply followed the Lane until it ended right at a large cluster of trees, one too far small to be considered a forest, but too large to not be.
At this point, Kevin had let himself down from the bike, opting to walk it rather than riding it. He learned his lesson about riding a bike in a dimly lit area, especially with roots, branches, and rocks around you. He hissed at the memory, the unforgiving wrath of mud still haunted him and his bike to this day.
Kevin had traveled just about 30 feet into the forest by now, and the quiet atmosphere around him gave him time to think.
Why was he doing this again?
He told himself, it was for the bolt. Kevin needed the bolt to fix his bike. If he fixed his bike, life would go back to normal.
Well, he has the bolt. It sat soundly and comfortable in his right pocket. He even pat the metal for good measure.
With that in mind, what was stopping him from just… going home?
Ed and Eddy, sure, but the amount of times Kevin had pummeled the two alone outnumbered what they had done to him.
Kevin could just turn around and go home. He can leave this problem to the dorks. He can forget this ever happened.
So why was he still going?
Kevin grumbled, not even he knew. This was stupid, what is he supposed to do if he can’t even answer his own questions? What was so special about Double D that made Kevin keep going through this dumb forest for a dumb deal he made?
Well, Double D has that big, nerdy brain of his. Honestly, it’s kinda impressive how he can just… say all those huge words off the top of his head. Half of the time Kevin doesn’t even know what the Dork is saying, but it’s pretty nice to hear it.
IS HE SERIOUSLY SAYING THAT DOUBLE DORK’S VOICE IS NICE TO LISTEN TO?-
And if Kevin was being honest, Double D isn’t half that bad. Sure, he’s an Ed, a dork, a nerd, all of that. Heck, the dude can’t even lift a football! But that doesn’t mean he’s bad. Kevin and Double D would somehow, someway, manage to have one-on-one situations together and, as much as Kevin hated to admit it, they were fun.
OH GOD, HE IS!
Double D was funny, he was ridiculously smart, he had a sense of sass to him that Kevin rarely saw but when he did it was the funniest thing ever, and he knew how to fix a bike! Kevin recalled that one time that, even though ultimately it was a scam, Double D had questioned Kevin about the tools he had been using to upgrade his bike one day. Nobody else in the entire Cul-de-Sac knew that kind of stuff, which made Kevin ecstatic to know someone else did!
YOU’RE NOT DOING THIS FOR THE BOLT, ARE YOU?
At this point, the bolt was forgotten. Double D was the focus, and Kevin hadn’t even caught himself yet. He mindlessly walked throughout the forest, absently winding around trees as his head began to cloud with, out of everyone he knew, Double Dork.
And that was when it hit him. A small voice in his head, rang silently through his ears. It sounded like every kid in the Cul-de-Sac combined into one voice!
“Kevin and Double D, sittin’ in a tree! K-I-S-S-I-N-G!”
The boy jumped in surprise, at his own head! Did he really just say that to himself? Kevin’s throat felt dry, either from how long he had been walking or something else…
There was a sound of high pitched laughter, just around the corner, causing Kevin to freeze. Kevin can recognize a girl-laugh anywhere, and yet, this kind of laugh gave Kevin a sense of caution. One that clearly meant he was where he needed to be.
Kevin’s mind was on high alert, creeping around trees towards a small clearing of light and a lack of trees. He seemed to be close to a trailer park, if he had to guess by the very faint figures of parked trailers just beyond the bushes. But other than that, Kevin had officially reached his destination.
Kevin was aware of the Kankers, he had been taken captive by them before, yet that had slipped out of his mind in favor of much memorable memories. So it really wasn’t a surprise to see two of the sisters gathered in the oddly cleared out space within the forest. And to add onto that, it was also… decorated?
Very poorly made fairy lights were strung from one branch to another, emitting a sad light from each one. Some were even broken. There was a large amount of plastic folding chairs, all directed at a large wooden pallet in the front, furthest from Kevin’s spot behind a tree. Each chair had either a stuffed animal on top, or a weird looking mud character with grass and sticks to mimic body parts. Creepy…
Atop the wooden pallet stood some sort of podium, like one Kevin would see at his church, just… worse. Behind it was the orange haired Kanker, the one that never showed her eyes. What was her name? Whatever, she wore a sewed together dress, collected of various fabrics and what-not to look like a dress. Not a wedding dress, per se. Something like a bridesmaid?
Another Kanker Sister, this time the one with straight blonde hair, walked up the isle with a basket of flowers in her hand, happily tossing them around. She wore a much longer dress compared to the last one, yet it was still made of different fabrics. All homemade, it seems. If Kevin remembered correctly, her name was some kind of month. Like June. He didn’t really care.
At this point, Kevin had also recalled there had been another Kanker, a third one. Was every trio missing a member today? He attempted to dig deep into his memories, until the loud voices of the sisters began.
”Where the heck is she?” The orange haired sister yelled, placing both hands on her hips while directed at the blonde, “We can’t have a wedding without the bride!”
”Calm down, Lee, she’s probably still getting ready!” The blonde one responded, yet her lisp made it hard for Kevin to understand…
”Urgh! This is taking too long! Where is Marie!” ‘Lee’ exclaimed. She had even less patience than Eddy! And that’s saying something. Lee’s tantrum came to a stop as she examined the area. Even without eyes, Kevin knew she was scanning the surrounding shrubs, he was sure to be caught. Kevin’s eyes clenched shut, ducking behind the closest tree and hoping for the best. Lee shouted, “Hey wait a sec! Where’s the groom, May?”
Returning his vision back towards the ‘wedding’, Kevin saw the blonde sister, May, turn back to Lee with a confused stare, “I thought you were supposed to bring him out?”
”No, you idiot! I’m the priest!” Lee exclaimed, punching May upon the head, Kevin swore he saw stars erupt from her head, “You’re the flower girl and the one to bring him out! Go get him!”
May shook her head, getting rid of the left over stars, before huffing, “But Marie’s almost done! And I gotta be here for the petal throwing!”
”You’ve already thrown enough flowers to choke a bear!”
”Did not!”
”Did too!”
”Whatever! Just sit down and we can grab the Groom when Marie gets here!” Lee finished with a dismissive wave of her hand, prompting May to sit at the closest chair in the front row.
Kevin sagged with relief as his cover had not been blown. Well, he most likely found the so called ‘wedding’ Ed had spoken of. All that’s left was to find Double D…
”Here comes the bride!” Lee cheered, before changing her tone to a harsh whisper, “May! That’s your queue!”
May fumbled with her woven flower basket as she shot up, dashing towards the end of the aisle to stand before the bride in order to shower petals before her. As May skipped about the ripped picnic blanket used as a carpet, the supposed bride slowly walked out of the bushes.
The last Kanker sister, with short blue hair that covered only one of her eyes, emerged from the brushes just beside Kevin. How he wasn’t noticed was an enigma but he wasn’t complaining. Instead of a dress, she wore a black suit. Her pants were baggy, they seemed to have been used before, but they managed to fit. Her top was a simple black blazer with a blue flower tucked into the front pocket with a white shirt in the back. What confused Kevin the most was she had the bouquet. Weird, but okay.
At the steps of the wooden platform, she was stopped by Lee, “I still don’t know why you decided to not wear a dress, Marie.”
Marie scoffed, barely brushing the hair out of her face, “I told you, I’m the one thats gonna be wearing the pants in the relationship!”
”Not like we gave ‘im a choice anyways.” Lee mumbled, “Whatever, just get on the stage so we can finish this already!”
Marie lifted a foot to follow Lee’s unwanted demands, but abruptly stopped, “Hang on.”
At first, Kevin stiffened. Had they seen him? Oh, he was as good as dead if he were. Kanker sisters are known across the Cul-de-Sac to sense an intruder in the quietest of situations. Kevin obviously didn’t believe it but he was sure as heck considering it.
Marie glared, “Where is he?” Kevin’s breath was lodged in his throat.
”Where’s who, Marie?” May questioned.
Kevin waited for the last foot to fall, so to speak. Goodbye, cruel world-
“My almost-husband! I can’t get married if there isn’t a groom, you dummy!” Marie shrieked, clenching the collection of flowers in her hand.
While Kevin sagged in relief, he also caught on that they must be referencing Double D. So he must be here! But how could he reach him…
May made a sound of realization, “Right! I’ll go get him, that silly goose!”
Lee and Marie watched as the other happily trotted away, “The only thing in that girl’s brain is nuts and bolts, I tell ya.” Lee commented, to which Marie nodded.
Kevin thought he should just follower the blonde Kanker, she would obviously lead him to where Double D was, but any sudden movement may alert the Kankers of his presence. A fate worse than facing Double D when his cactus is harmed would be facing the wrath of the Kankers. In both situations you may come out alive, but one will leave you scarred for life.
As much as he hated to admit it, Kevin had to stay put. He simply couldn’t risk it.
The soft sound of leaves crunching brought Kevin back to reality, like he was even gone. It seemed it had also grabbed Marie and Lee’s attention as well, seeing as the two perked their heads up towards May.
”I’m baaaaack!” She sang, arriving from the direction where she originally left. Kevin noticed she held a rope tightly in her grasp, following the trail of the fabric until he saw-
“There he is!” Lee grinned, upon noticing Double D with May. Although, it looked like it was more or less against his will.
Kevin’s eyes widened with a gasp, “Whoa…” He whispered.
The rope that May had been clinging onto had also been dragging along a helpless and fairly terrified Double D. This time, he was the one with the dress on, rather than Marie. Seems like the took ‘wearing the pants in the relationship’ to heart. Of course, the boy’s iconic beanie was kept on, yet it was the rest of the outfit that concerned Kevin.
Double D had a snow white dress on, it was tattered in some places and there were clear stitch marks here and there, but it was in clear better condition compared to the other’s dresses. The dress covered his knees, going down all the way to his feet, where his shoes had been traded out for some very uncomfortable-looking heels that most likely did not fit him.
And yet, Kevin found something else more concerning than all this!
Double D made a muffled cry of protest as he was shoved closer to Marie on the platform. It was then when Kevin had finally noticed the white fabric that had been wrapped around his mouth. On the mask itself was a very, poorly drawn image of a smile, obviously because Double D refused to oblidge to this and therefore the Kankers had to continue via force. The rope May had used to drag the boy over was tied over his waist, arms, and entire torso, immobilizing him for the most part.
When they had reached a certain spot on the stage, May swapped places with Double D, holding him still from behind so he may properly face Marie, who stared at him with a devious grin that freaked out both Kevin and Double D.
As Double D continued to thrash and squirm in May’s death grip and rope, all muffled by the bandana around his mouth, Lee cleared her throat, “We are gathered here today to- Ugh, May you made it sound like this is a funeral service!”
’Well, technically it is.’ Kevin rolled his eyes.
”I have three jobs, Lee! You can’t expect me to do all of them.” May countered, ignoring the boy in front of her that was still wiggling like a fish out of water. Kevin barely noticed his pupils that had dilated in fear.
“Just get on with it already!” Marie cut in.
Lee began once again, “Gathered here today to celebrate the wedding of Marie and her almost-soon-to-be-husband, Double D.”
At the mention of his name, Double D rapidly shook his head in protest, complimented with a chorus of muted cries from behind the fabric, all the while Marie stood before him with an evergrowing smile that would put the Cheshire Cat to shame.
Something about that made Kevin upset- no, pissed off. Double D clearly didn’t want to be there, how could they not see that!? Were they all just blind to normal human emotions or completely delusional? Either way, Kevin was having none of it.
“It is on this day that-“ Lee continued, before Marie once again butt in, “Can you just get to the part where we kiss?!”
Scoffing, Lee rolled her head rather than her eyes, “Fine, whatever Miss Bride. Ahem, by concluding your marriage with a kiss, you two subject yourselves into a life stuck together in peaceful harmony. Permenantly and forever.”
Kevin and Double D, unintentionally and in sync, gasped as their eyes widened a fraction further.
”Blah blah blah! You may kiss the bride.” Lee slammed her palms onto the podium to signify the end of her script. Edd’s eyes began to blur with terrified tears as he watched Marie toss her bouquet at the empty audience, stalking closer like a predator about to feast upon its prey in the wild.
“Pucker up, Ovenmitt!” Marie innocently said as she finally managed to grab a hold of Edd’s waist, May having stepped back at some point. Despite his attempts at thrashing and squirming about within her grip, Marie never let go, “We’re gonna be together forever, cupcake! How romantic is that?”
’NO! Not romantic, not in the slightest!’ Edd would try to exclaim, only for it to be muted by the dreadful mask on his mouth.
The said dreadful mask residing on his face began to be tugged away by Marie, granting the bride access to her ‘husband’s’ mouth, just barely. In order to keep himself away just a bit longer, Edd pressed his lips into a firm line, clenching his eyes shut and just barely turning his head away from the girl. Only for that plan to be proven a failure when Marie’s forceful grip redirected his chin towards her’s, the only thing within his vision was a pair of puckered, cherry red, lips.
His fate had been sealed, forever binded with his worst living nightmare. If this was what marriage in the adult world was like, Edd would never even consider it in the slightest. Not that he would live to see that moment, anyways.
A final inhale was drawn before Marie would set her lips onto his own, ‘Goodbye, dearest loved ones! Ed, Eddy, mother and father-‘
“I OBJECT!”
From the mere speed and velocity at which Marie had shot her head to the side, it could’ve whipped Edd square on the cheek had it been just about an inch longer. Yet that didn’t exactly matter now, did it? His attention followed Marie’s, towards the offending interruption of their so-called-wedding.
Double D would’ve expected someone like Ed or Eddy to be the ones standing at the very edge of the aisle, maybe even Nazz or Rolf if he were that lucky. But to see Kevin, of all people, standing just at the end of the tattered, red carpet with a determined expression painted on his face, it was insane.
”Object?” Marie grit her teeth, her grip just barely loosening on Edd, “Whaddya mean object?! We’re in the middle of something here!”
”Isn’t that what you’re supposed to do in the movies?” Kevin grinned, “Y’know, the whole… breaking into a wedding to save someone from an unwanted marriage?”
Marie’s anger increased, “What’s that supposed to mean, Carrot-Cake?!”
Kevin only shrugged, “I dunno, just seems to me that the dork over there doesn’t look like he wants to be there.” He waved a hand to gesture at Edd, who was quietly shaking underneath Marie.
”Pwah, you’re insane if you think this wedding is gonna stop anytime soon!” Marie turned back to Edd, yet her eyes still trained on Kevin, “In fact, if you’re so willing to steal my man, I’ll probably just smooch him right here while you watch! Nothing you can do about it then, huh?”
Kevin’s gaze, once trained on Marie, eventually fell to meet Double D’s when his name fell from the bride’s mouth. He was met with wide, terrified eyes, pleading for an escape. Kevin really felt no remorse or even sorry for any of the dorks, but this time, he just might have.
”Is that a challenge?” Kevin redirected his glare at Marie, before pulling the final straw that he knew would get under the girl’s skin, “M’lady?”
Edd’s eyes widened at the last statement, what on Sam Hill was he doing?! Does Kevin even know who or what he is dealing with? Attempting to challenge Marie would be the equivelent to painting your entire body in red before taunting an extremely angry bull. A death wish, if you will.
”What did you call me?!” Marie screeched, leading her grip to tighten even more on Double D’s arms, that would surely leave a bruise when this was over, “Nobody calls me a m’lady, ya hear!?”
Kevin only smirked, “Hm, looks like I don’t actually care. Sorry.”
Marie had tossed Edd to the floor by now, her hands instead began to clench into a fist as her body turned entirely towards Kevin, “Why you..!”
The girl began to slowly stomp towards Kevin, with lots of dangerous intent in mind, if the way her hands clawed and clenched together were any evidence. She gave an intense glare at the boy before her, which Kevin mirrored himself. If looks could kill, Edd was sure neither would be standing.
With Double D out of Marie’s grip, Kevin took the chance. When Marie put the first foot onto the dirt below the platform, Kevin lunged. He had Double D cradled in his arms, bridal style, beginning to dash away from the scene. Each of the sisters cried out in surprise, yet Kevin had moved far too fast.
With Kevin’s arms wrapped tightly around his torso and supposedly where his legs would be, considering the large dress that made it hard to see, he spun around completely and began to bolt for where he left his bike, back at the entrance of the ‘wedding’.
His second beloved bicycle had been left behind the tree Kevin used to hide, set against the bark waiting. Immediately, Kevin rearranged Edd so that he was placed over his shoulder rather than in his arms, supporting him by his lower torso. AKA; waist, AKA... his butt. If Kevin had been focusing correctly, he would've fumbled around in shock eventually dropping the dork and escaping out of embarrassment. But he didn't. Kevin used his free hand to grab onto one handle bar of the bike to steer, beginning to pedal like he never had before.
As he did, he somehow managed to leave a gust of dirt and some leaves in his wake, those being blown into the sister's eyes, momentarily stopping them. The grime just barely managed to get kicked into Double D's eyes, resulting in the boy to shriek and snap his eyes shut, considering his still tied up arms.
The scenery around them flashed before them in a blur, the colors of the trees and bushes all mixed together in an odd combination of green and blue. Edd would try to pry open an eye, if it weren't stinging from the dirt still, to catch a small glimpse at the Kankers, who were slowly beginning to fade away into the background. Eventually, they were gone all together.
Kevin put in his all trying to dodge any roots or stray stones in their way, it was hard to steer with one hand on his own, but it was even harder to do that with someone on your shoulder.
When the ground below them began to fade back into the familiar dirt of the Lane, accompanied by a blinding light that shined through the clearing of the trees, Kevin rushed to a stop. He harshly shoved a foot down on the back pedal, nearly throwing both him and Double D off in the process.
Without the energy to make it back to his house, Kevin instead chose to lean his bike against the yellow wooden fence that surrounded the Lane, lifting the two boys off the bike. Instantly, Kevin nearly collapsed onto the ground in exhaustion, noticing Double D in similar condition. The poor guy was still shaking like a leaf, the pupils in his eyes were blown wide in shock, and he still couldn't move. As Kevin continued to examine Double D's not-very-ideal state, he failed to notice said raven haired boy trying to grab his attention by shooting out muffled cries for his focus.
Kevin shook his head, "What now- Oh, shoot, my bad dude." He quickly yanked off the dirty white fabric around Edd's mouth, resulting in a coughing fit from the boy. All while that was happening, Kevin made himself busy with untying the rope around Double D's middle. Thankfully, May didn't seem to know how to tie a good knot, letting Kevin only tug one stray piece of the rope and the whole thing came falling down, pooling around Double D's feet.
Double D's coughs had died down by now, and the two boys only seemed to stare at each other in silence as the weight of whatever they had just gone through dawned on both of them.
Did Kevin, Edd's childhood instigator, intimidator, all of that, just save him from marriage with the Kankers? Did the local jock of the neighborhood literally just do something so selfless for an actual dork? A member of the rival group, an enemy, a whatever!
Yes, yes he did.
Kevin turned to Edd, opening his mouth to begin something. Really, he didn't know what to say. The whole situation was a lot in general, but confessing to explain what the heck just happened was another thing. His mouth malfunctioned, opening and closing as no words happened to escape. So instead, Double D took the first move.
Kevin was taken back by the sudden weight of the hug from the boy in front of him. It certainly wasn't warranted, nor would he ever accept such an embrace from someone other than Nazz, or Rolf, or his parents. But... he could let it slide. Kevin didn't have enough time to return the warm hug before Edd pulled away. Double D stared at him with glistening eyes, glazed with unshed tears that had been reformed into more a thankful kind. His smile was infectious, spreading all the way across his face that proudly showed his gap tooth. Kevin sheepishly smiled back.
"I cannot thank you enough for what you have just done for me, Kevin!" Edd started, his voice just a bit scratchy and raspy from having kept it shut the entire time, "Honestly, I question why you would do such a thing as to save someone like me, of all people. However, I am eternally grateful!"
Kevin rubbed at the back of his neck, "Well, yeah dude. I, uh- I guess I kinda heard about what happened and.. had to help out, I guess?"
"Hah, well, that does sound like such an odd reason for someone like you to be assisting the need of a... "dork" like myself.. Uhm, but if I may, why exactly did you come to rescue me?" Double D's head tilted slightly, "I do not mean to come off as offensive, but knowing our so called relationship with each other, you are unlikely to do such a thing without a reason or a motive."
Kevin huffed out an airy laugh, "Right as always, Double D... It- uh.. Eddy told me." At this point, Kevin had remembered what brought him here in the first place. His hand began to drift down to his right pocket, "He said you had this.. a M5 Carriage Bolt, and I.. well, I kinda needed one for my bike and so we made a deal that if I brought you back.. he'd give me the bolt."
His sheepish smile formed more into that of an uncomfortable hiss, Kevin literally just told Double D he only saved his life for a bolt. A bolt! How sad can he get? If Kevin were in his situation, he would rightfully be upset for being used as a part for someone else's deals. Double D went through figurative 'H-E-Double-Hockey-Sticks' for nothing! Sure, he came out alive, but to be stabbed in the back by being told 'Yeah, I only saved you because I was getting a stupid piece of metal out of this' was stupid!
Kevin quickly began to explain and correct himself, "I-I don't mean that like.. Like I was using you to get the bolt, that's like- it's not cool, y'know? So-so I mean, if you want- you-" Kevin cringed at his own voice, "Here, you can keep it." He shoved the hand that held the bolt into Double D's chest, who looked down at the hand in mild shock. Edd brought his eyes back up, cupping the bolt with two hands.
Double D gulped, before shyly drifting his view off to the side with an embarrassed smile, "I... thank you, Kevin, but..."
The redhead sucked in a breath.
"I was actually going to give this to you."
"...Huh?"
Kevin's eyes were wider than ever before, did he hear the dork right? He watched as Double D nervously laughed, "Yes, I had overheard you yesterday about how you were planning to advance your motorbike with these bolts, but I also knew that your father had yet to purchase any of these. And, well... I happened to have a couple left, so I figured I could lend some to you."
Double D slowly returned the bolt to Kevin's hand, who said nothing the entire time. He simply stared at the shorter boy in amazement, like he was his literal savior, which he was! As soon as the metal made contact with Kevin's palm, he gazed at it curiously before grinning like a dork. Ironic...
"Choice! Th-Thank you so much, dude!" Kevin beamed, to which Double D seemed to mirror. Kevin was so excited, in fact, he barely managed to catch himself for what he said next, "I could kiss you!-"
As if on command, both Kevin and Double D sucked in a breath at the same time, neither met each others eyes, nor were they speaking at all. Their faces nearly matched, both eyes wide, mouths shut, and painted in a dusty rose color. After a moment, the two boys spoke over each other in a jumble of words.
"Dude, I'm so sorry, I don't know why I said-"
"O-oh, no worries, Kevin. I-It's perfectly fi-"
"It's not that I- I mean, thanks so much for.. y-yeah.."
"O-Of course, I understand."
"A-And not to say that... Uhm- I mean," Kevin stumbled over his words, he didn't even know what he was saying at this point. Talking before he could think, Kevin let his mouth take control, "If-If you'd like, I-"
WAIT. STOP. DUDE, YOU'RE OFFERING TO KISS THE DORK!
"O-Oh!" Double D's face seemed to increase in color, the blush spread to his ears by now, "...Ehm.. That would be.. I'd- I-If you're okay with that, s-so to speak..."
Did Edd just accept Kevin's 'request' to kiss him.
That wasn't even an internal question at this point, Kevin's mind was just blank. But even then, there was a small voice within his head that constantly yelled and screamed at him; this isn’t right. You’re both dudes! You like Nazz! Even considering this was a mistake.
But it felt so… right?
Kevin let out a small gasp, “Eh-I.. I-um..”
Double D faced Kevin with overwhelming concern, “Kevin, if you are uncomfortable with this, you don’t have to-“
The boy was cut off when a pair of lips had quickly pecked his cheek, letting out a barely audible squeak from Double D. Before he knew it, Kevin was running in the opposite direction, his bike forgotten, “THIS NEVER HAPPENED, DORK!”
And it was silent.
Slowly, Edd lifted a hand to trace the fresh spot on the side of his face, his eyes never leaving the road where his neighbor had disappeared, “…curious.” He mumbled.
“Double D!” Eddy exclaimed, a grin wide and visible on his face as he rounded the corner of the Lane, nearly tripping over himself in the process. Ed followed suit and had much less trouble, “Double D is alive, Eddy!”
Eddy stopped before his friend, “There you are, Sockhead,” He panted, finally standing up straight, “I was beginning to think you were gone for good and- Dude, are you okay?”
Edd shook his head, his head was still foggy after… that, “Em- Huh?”
”Your face, Double D. You look like a tomato.” Eddy gestured to his face. Ed, as per usual, cut in between the two.
”Did they suck your brain, Double D? Are you dead?!” Ed cried as he squished the beanie-wearing boy into a hug, “Love can be so cruel!”
”ED! Please! I am perfectly fine but you’re crushing my lungs!..-“ Edd barely managed to squeak out as the life was quite literally being squeezed out of him.
Ed instantly let him fall to the ground, the white dress he sadly still had on creating a small puffy cloud of dirt.
Eddy cringed, "Sheesh man, that dress looks pretty rough. You good though?"
Edd smiled, just barely caressing his cheek once more with a small tint of blush dusting his face,
"Wonderful, actually."