Archive of Our Own

Chapter Text

You know, time doesn't heal everything. That's a lie we tell ourselves when the pain is still fresh, just so we can breathe. Time doesn't heal. Time just teaches us to live with the empty spaces.

My name is Michelangelo, or Mikey. But no one has called me that for a long time.

For me, time has been… strange. Not in the sense of clocks or calendars – that was always kind of irrelevant living in the sewers – but in the sense of feeling time pass. Before, the days were all the same: training, pizza, mission, laughter, fighting, making up. A predictable cycle, warm, noisy. I didn't even realize that all that chaos was the sound of a family working.

Until it stopped.

The first to leave was Raph. Of course it was. He was never one for proper goodbyes, always thought words were a waste of time. That morning, I was in the makeshift kitchen – an old stove plate that Donnie had fixed with wires and hope – trying to make pancakes. I don't know why. Maybe because the smell of batter and butter still reminded me of when Sensei would wake up early and watch us eat, with that calm look that said you are my only joy.

Raph showed up with his backpack on. Not a mission backpack. A leaving-home backpack.

"I'm going with Casey and Mona," he said, leaning against the wall, arms crossed. His posture was the same as always, but there was a tension in his shoulders I hadn't seen since the last time he admitted he was scared. "The surface is safe now. Humans… are accepting us. There's no reason to stay locked up down here anymore."

I remember turning the spatula in my hand.

"You're coming back for dinner, right?"

He hesitated. It was only a second, but I saw it. I always saw it.

"I don't know," he replied. And then, quieter: "Look, Mikey… I can't stay here anymore. This place… feels like a tomb."

He didn't say Sensei's name. No one said it anymore.

Raph gave me a quick hug, the kind that breaks two ribs and says see you around without needing to speak. And then he just climbed the stairs. The metal door screeched. The echo lingered.

I finished the pancakes. Ate them all alone. They were tasteless.

---

Donnie lasted a few more months.

Unlike Raph, he explained. With graphs. Spreadsheets. An entire presentation about "Opportunities for Growth in the Post-Social-Acceptance Human World." He talked about college, about labs, about April who was already in her second semester and that "it would be irrational not to take advantage of this historic moment for our species."

"You've thought about this?" I asked, sitting on the lab counter, swinging my legs.

"Thought about it? Michelangelo, I ran simulations. In optimistic, pessimistic, and realistic scenarios. The conclusion is unanimous: staying here now is an evolutionary setback."

I laughed. Not because it was funny, but because it was so Donnie that it hurt.

"What about us?" I asked. "The family?"

He stopped organizing his equipment for a second. Behind his goggles, his eyes got misty – but he blinked and it was gone.

"Family doesn't end because distance increases, Mikey. Family is…" he gestured, searching for the right word among screws and circuits, "… a non-linear concept."

That day, I learned that Donnie could turn even a goodbye into something nerdy.

He left with April. He took three boxes of inventions and left the rest. The lab remained intact, as if he were coming back the next day. Sometimes I still go in there and pretend he just went to get more coffee.

---

Leo was the last.

And for a while, I thought he'd never go. He stayed. He trained in the dojo every single day, even with no one to train with. He lit incense for Sensei. Swept the grave. I'd see him sitting there, cross-legged, in absolute silence, and think: maybe he understands. Maybe he can't leave either.

But deep down, I knew. You always know when someone is saying goodbye little by little.

He left for Japan with Karai. No warning. No boxes. No fanfare. One day I woke up and his sword wasn't on its stand anymore. His bedroom door was open. The bed was made. As if it had never been used.

On his nightstand was a note. It just said: "Take care of the place, brother. We'll be back when we can."

I kept the note. Folded it into four parts and put it under my pillow. I don't know why. Maybe because it was the last thing left of someone who decided I wasn't reason enough to stay.

---

Ice Cream Kitty is still here.

I think she understands. She doesn't talk much – never did – but sometimes she licks my face when I take her out of the freezer, and that cold sensation reminds me that I'm not completely invisible. She can't cook for me. She can't laugh at my jokes. She can't say "hey, Mikey, wanna train?" But she listens. And listening, sometimes, is all that's left.

At night, the sewer gets dark. Not the way it used to be, when the darkness was just the backdrop, and we had each other to scare away the monsters. Now the darkness feels… heavier. As if the silence has mass. As if every empty wall is watching me, waiting for me to fall apart.

Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night and swear I hear Raph laughing in the living room. Or Donnie cursing at a project. Or Leo correcting my stance with the tip of his sword.

But it's just the old pipe vibrating with the water.

That's all.

---

The worst part isn't the loneliness. The worst part is the memory.

Because memory starts to fail. And when it fails, you realize you're losing people twice: first when they leave, and then when you forget the sound of their voice.

Yesterday I tried to remember the last time Sensei said my name. Not that formal, training time. Michelangelo, posture. No. The time he said Michelangelo with that quiet pride of his, after I landed a difficult move.

I couldn't remember.

Do you know what it's like to try to hear your father's voice in your head and find only silence? It's like opening an empty chest. You know something should be in there. There was. But now there isn't.

And the more time passes, the emptier the chest gets.

---

Today I went up to the surface. Not to fight. Not to explore. Just to see the stars.

The sky was clear. No mutants. No invaders. No near-apocalypses. I sat there, on the ledge of an abandoned building – the same one where we used to eat pizza in secret – and looked down.

People were walking. Laughing. Fighting. Hugging.

And I thought: they're happy. My brothers are happy.

Raph is probably breaking something with Casey. Donnie is probably explaining something complicated to someone who doesn't understand any of it. Leo is probably meditating in an ancient temple, or cutting something with his katana, or trying to be the leader he always wanted to be.

And I'm here.

Not out of cowardice. Or maybe it is cowardice. But it's not the kind that hurts. It's a choice.

Someone has to stay. Someone has to remember. Someone has to keep the door open, even if no one else wants to come in anymore.

So I stay.

I don't know for how long. I don't know if they'll ever come back. But as long as I'm here, the sewer will still smell like burnt pancakes, the dojo will still have incense, and Sensei's grave will still have flowers.

"We'll be back when we can."

Right, Leo. I'll be here.

Just don't take too long, okay?

Because even silence has its limits.

And I'm reaching mine.

Chapter Text

POV – Mikey

It was just another morning. Or maybe it wasn’t even a “morning” at all — just another endless interval between an empty night and another night I knew was coming. The lair was silent, dead, and I was lying on the floor, staring at the mold-stained ceiling, trying to find a pattern in the cracks, some fixed point to hold on to. But there was nothing. Nothing worth holding on to. Nothing that caught my eye. Everything was gray, opaque, heavy.

It had been weeks, maybe months, since I’d cleaned this place. The smell was unbearable. Every forgotten scrap of food in the fridge seemed to have turned into a living force of rot, exhaling an odor that seeped into my lungs and clung to my throat. Oh, I almost forgot to mention… I barely ate. Eating felt wrong. Wrong in a way that was intimate, as if every bite reminded me of the emptiness around me. And, at the same time, I didn’t care. Because nothing mattered anymore.

I dragged myself to my feet, my joints complaining, my muscles heavy with the lethargy of days without purpose. There was something ironic about that moment: Mikey — the one who always made the mess, who never lifted a finger to clean — now cleaning his own lair. It was hilarious, in a cruel way. And maybe that’s all I deserved: cleaning up the remnants of something that no longer existed.

After a while, the fridge was clean. Leftovers gone, odor reduced. The little ice-cream kitten, which I had pulled out of the freezer days ago, looked satisfied. I set her on the table and began to stroke her cold fur, soft and sweet like ice cream. She purred, and for a moment I felt slightly less alone. She was the only real company I had.

“Oh, kitty… everything’s been so lonely…” I whispered, my voice cracking between restrained sobs. “Just you to keep me company. That’s why I love you… you didn’t abandon me.”

Tears began to run silently, small at first, then fast. I blinked, trying to control them, but the attempt was useless. “Meow…” Her sound, small, almost childlike, made me laugh a little, a broken, trembling laugh. I kept stroking her, as if that gesture could somehow fill the widening gap inside me — that sense of abandonment, of an empty space where my family should be.

“You know, kitty… it’s strange to be able to cry without pretending to be happy. I don’t have to fake anything anymore. Because nobody stayed. They all left and left me here… We were supposed to be a family, right? Did I do something wrong? Why am I still here? Why does it hurt so much?”

My body curled over my arms, and the crying turned into a flood I couldn’t contain. Loud sobs, almost desperate, echoed through the lair. Every tear was a silent scream, a cry for help that no one would ever answer. Thoughts blurred together: memories of my brothers, happy moments, fights, laughter, hugs that now felt like ghosts. Everything fused into a suffocating whirlwind.

Empty.

Everything was empty.

Then I ask myself: is this how I’m going to live now? In solitude? Without my brothers? Every piece of me cried out for answers, but there was no one. Just me and the crushing silence that seemed to laugh at me.

My mind began to spin in circles, faster and faster, each thought more painful than the last. What did I do wrong? Is this my punishment for all the screw-ups I made? Do I deserve this? The guilt… the guilt burns, invades every inch of my body, squeezes my chest, chokes my breath. I can’t run from it.

“My fault… my fault… MY FAULT!” I screamed in thought, repeating until my own voice became a distant whisper, a shadow of despair.

I looked at the kitten. She stared back with silent eyes, small, without judgment. Just existence. And I wished she could speak, say that everything would be okay, but she just stayed there, purring, cold and sweet, indifferent.

And then I realized… the loneliness wasn’t just physical. It was a cruel awareness, a constant reminder that I was alone, completely alone. There were no shared laughs, no hugs, no glances saying: “We’re in this together.” There was only the void, the absence of everything I cared about.

And yet… something remained. A spark, tiny, almost imperceptible. Resistance. Maybe just existing, even like this, was my victory. Resisting the pain, the guilt, the loss, the abandonment. Resisting the void that consumed me. Maybe surviving, even alone, is the only act of courage I have left.

But the guilt… the crushing guilt still eats me alive. As tears continue to fall, I whisper to myself, to the kitten, to no one:

“It’s all my fault, isn’t it? Isn’t it…?”

The silent lair answers with nothing. And in that nothing, my world goes on, cruel and indifferent, without me.

---

I hadn’t even noticed when I’d fallen asleep… but when I woke up… there was nothing. Only the suffocating silence of the lair. Every little sound — the dripping water in some forgotten corner, the creak of a shelf, the faint purr of the kitten — seemed to amplify, filling every empty space with a constant reminder of my solitude. I wanted to scream, break something, destroy everything around me, but there was no energy, no strength. Only emptiness.

I sat on the floor, leaning my shell against the damp wall. My body ached from so much time without moving properly, from carrying this invisible weight called abandonment. And the more I thought, the deeper I sank. Memories of my brothers rose like ghosts: Leo training with perfection, Donnie immersed in his inventions, Raph shouting in frustration or recklessly having fun… and me, always the lightest, always the one trying to laugh to break the tension, now alone.

And then it hit me: it wasn’t just the present emptiness. It was also the past chasing me. Memories of games, laughter, plans to go to the surface, adventures ending in giggles. Simple moments, now impossible to recover. I wanted to go back, but I couldn’t. Time had taken everything, and with it, my brothers. And maybe… maybe it had taken me too.

The kitten climbed onto my lap, curling up as if she could fill the gap even I couldn’t define. I held her, and for the first time in days I felt something close to comfort. But it was fragile, ephemeral. A reminder that all the real affection left in this place came from something I’d created myself — an ice-cream kitten I had shaped with my own hands… and she’d never hated me for it.

I sat, staring at my hands. They trembled, not just from the cold, but from the emptiness that seemed to permeate every fiber of my being. The guilt kept pulsing, like an open wound I didn’t know how to heal. And then I realized something: it wasn’t just the absence of my brothers that destroyed me. It was my own inability to cope with it. Every memory, every happy thought, was now a sharp blade reminding me that I had failed, that I was alone.

I rose slowly, walking through the lair. I touched the walls, the floor, the shelves. Every object seemed to carry echoes of days that would never return. Donnie’s books, covered in dust; Raph’s training equipment, untouched; forgotten food, now transformed into a memory of neglect. Everything reminded me that the world went on without me. That I no longer had a place there.

The kitten meowed again, and I bent to pet her. “You’re the only one I have now…” I whispered. A sob escaped. And then I realized that maybe part of me still wanted my brothers to return, but another part could no longer wait. Not because I didn’t want to, but because waiting had become unbearable. Each day without them was a new wound, a reminder that life went on, indifferent to my pain.

I sat on the floor again, hugging the kitten, and let myself fall into absolute silence. Time seemed to stretch, each minute dragging on like an eternity. I wanted to close my eyes and disappear, but even that seemed impossible. I was trapped inside myself, inside a lair that now reflected not just my brothers’ abandonment, but the abandonment I felt from myself.

And then I realized something even crueler: I could have tried to change things. I could have done something different, could have screamed more, laughed more, tried harder to keep everyone together. But I failed. Every attempt felt small, useless, and now here I was, holding an ice-cream kitten, crying on the dirty floor, alone with my guilt.

The emptiness became almost tangible. Each breath seemed to fill a non-existent space, each heartbeat reminded me that I was alive but completely isolated from the world I knew. And even in this despair, there was a small spark — a faint thought, almost ridiculous: maybe survival was enough. Maybe just existing, even alone, was a form of resistance.

But the guilt, the pain, the abandonment… all of them still pulsed inside me, reminding me that nothing in the lair would ever be the same, that no one would come to fill the space my brothers left. And I was here. Only me..

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Only me and the void.

Chapter Text

CHAPTER 3: void

The days are getting weirder and weirder, my thoughts are really bad, I was already hurting myself which is bad enough, but my thoughts are getting worse and worse, sometimes I feel like just ending it all, but that's ridiculous, considering I still have Kitty to take care of, she's my only company and I won't abandon her like that, so cruel... but anyway, Kitty was in the freezer, I thought about going out to patrol a little, without my brothers, the city was still at risk, with new bandits and villains etc.

As I walked through the buildings watching the place, I saw the bandits (I called them midnight bandits >;P) while they were trying to rob a girl, but it was strange, the girl's bag was thrown and forgotten, her skirt was torn and the bandits were on top of her, were they assaulting her?, it was hard to know, but anyway, I had to do something, especially since my brothers weren't here to do it... but it was hard, my body hurt and I was very tired, damn, I picked up Donnie's bad habits and I haven't been sleeping well, I've barely eaten!, but now was not the time to be complaining, someone needs me!.

I jumped to get behind the bandits, kicking one who was on top of the girl, possibly the leader, I told the girl to run, she grabbed the bag and ran away, I felt relieved for a brief moment, until I felt arms holding me, damn! I had forgotten that I had to deal with bandits, shell, when I get home (if I get home), uh I'll have to sleep a little, but anyway, getting out of my head, I saw the leader approaching me, he was tall and very muscular, like, holy shit! The guy must be about two meters tall, he was a very handsome guy too I have to admit, but damn... what do I do now?? I'm surrounded! Something took me out of my thoughts, a hand grabbed my chin and made me look up, he had deep red eyes..

"Look look look... what do we have here? A little turtle, because of you our 'toy' ran away.." he looked with cold eyes and a serious expression, he seemed irritated too, but kind of amused in a way.

"Man! You would attack a poor defenseless girl? You are a monster!!" I tried to get rid of his henchman's arms, but it was another big and very muscular guy, like, holy shit what do these bastards eat!?

ignoring what Mikey had just said, he approached "now that my toy ran away, you're going to take her place, you were very stupid of you to think you could get away with it after messing me up like that, and to be honest... you're pretty cute for a turtle, your blue eyes are very human in a way~"

I could see something shining in his eyes, an unknown emotion that I personally don't know how to decipher, but it made me somewhat uncomfortable, I don't know what to do, it scares me, but of course I won't show it, I'm a ninja! I was trained to do a lot of things! I've survived a lot of shit in the last 15 years! (Yes, Michelangelo is 15, to be more exact, raph/leo 19, donnie 18:3) so... why do I feel so uncomfortable with that look? Shell... I'm preferring shredder now... but once again I was taken out of my thoughts when I feel a hand touch my plastão, I froze in the moment, an overwhelming feeling of tightness in my stomach I can feel, it's strange and very uncomfortable!!

,But he didn't stop, he kept touching me in a way that I didn't like, his face was getting too close... too much for my personal taste, I usually like affection, since lately it's been pretty lonely, BUT NOT LIKE THIS! This is uncomfortable! And to be fair, I don't even know his name, so, rude<, but while I was wandering in my racing thoughts, I feel his lips press to mine, that tightening feeling in my stomach increases, I try to pull away but the grip around me gets stronger, I stay like that for a few seconds until I feel something viscous and warm prick my closed lips, I'm a shaky sigh trying to breathe, but then what was my mistake, I start to feel his tongue diving into my mouth, my first kiss ripped away by someone I don't even know? (RUDE!!), I whimper in discomfort as I feel his hand going to my thigh as he squeezes it gently, he doesn't break the kiss, like, he wasn't breathing!? But my mind goes blank when I feel him grab my tail, I whimper in discomfort, his henchman takes something from his pocket and puts a syringe with a strange liquid in my neck, I can't do anything but squirm and beg to get out, shell! This was getting more and more humiliating, but for a while, my body started to feel hot and my mind was cloudy, the world seemed strange, blurry and spinning, and there was also a warm feeling underneath my plastão, my legs were shaking and sweat started to fall from my forehead, I was feeling hot, a groan came out of my throat as I tried to say something, why aren't my brothers here? Why did they abandon me??...why do I have to suffer?? Wait, why am I thinking about this in a situation like this?

Without realizing it, I was being carried, someone sat me down, I was on someone's lap? Why does everything seem so confusing? I don't know what to do, someone is saying something...but I don't understand what, but it doesn't last long, I start to feel a penetrating sensation in me, someone is putting something in me...what? Wait...

"W-w...And!? AH!"

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To be continued<3

Chapter Text

Tears well up in my eyes, my body hot from the drug and the agonizing sensation of being slowly and painfully stretched, tears fall from my eyes as he grips my thighs tightly, tighter and tighter as he goes back and forth in a slow and torturous rhythm.

(Poem 1)
*In the darkness of the soul echoes the pain,

In a cold silence of
loneliness.

A deep emptiness,

Without shame,

Fills the heart

With anguish.*

I felt dirty, disgusting and rotten inside, why does this have to happen to me? Why do these things happen? Why do I have to feel pain? And the worst, I don't know if it's because of the drugs...but after you get used to it inside...it's a disgusting and good feeling...I'm so disgusting! Why does my body like this!?...I feel disgusted with being alive..I want to die..I hate this...

*The pain intertwines with the feeling,

Like shadows on a moonless night.

Loneliness is a cruel torment,

That makes us despair.*

I unconsciously wrap my legs around his waist, the drugs are making me dizzy and out of focus from reality..I can't understand what he says, but it's comforting...why? His voice is calm..I like the calm...the peace,
The buzzing in my ears is loud, but I can hear his soft voice even though I don't understand a word he says, it's good..it sounds like Leo when he told stories while I had nightmares...maybe less gentle, but the same calm? I don't know...but is it good? Why is it good?

In the void, voices echo without sound, It is an echo of a painful past. The heart breaks in half, becoming toneless, In a deafening and lost silence. Uhh... it hurts when he bites my neck, but it is comforting when he hugs me... he calls me girl.. why? I am mikey.. I am a boy, am I not? What could his name be..? Why do my legs shake? Why does my heart seem to be racing?.. I don't like it, the feeling of being filled is good.. but why? It is good and disgusting.. he keeps caressing me in uncomfortable places.. everything spins.. I can't feel my body and I can't move... I like the feeling of floating.. floating is good.. it is nice.. he goes deeper and I feel a sharp pain when he goes hard and fast.. nothing but moans come out of my lips.. "Ah, ah, ah, AH!" He says comforting things that make me sick, why?

*But in the pain there is a breath of light,

A hope that insists on
shining.

In solitude, a

consolation

seduces,

And in the void,

a new

path to

trace.*

He trails kisses and bites on my body..after what seemed like an eternity, I feel something enter inside me..it's warm..the sensation is disgusting...but he finally leaves me and throws me to the ground, I feel nothing but a strange sensation of emptiness, as if my soul were being ripped from my body while I cry begging God to free me from this earth, he looks at me, even though I can't see his face, I can feel him smile, a satisfied and macabre smile...everything hurts...the sensation of floating seems to disappear little by little and now I can understand what he says..

"You're nothing but a little whore, getting involved where you shouldn't, now you've received the consequences~ you know what? You're too hot for a turtle, imagine when you're an adult?" He smiles creepily, until his face changes, as if he remembered something, "Oh, and the drug I gave you was a test of an experiment...it wasn't for you but for that woman, for your body to change and become more...'evolved' if you know what I mean...and since you are a female...let's see how this will react in your body...".

*Thus, in the darkness
of the soul and
of the night,

Pain turns
into strength
and
courage.

Loneliness dissipates into love and lash, And the void is filled with the wisdom of the passage.* And so, he turns and walks away... leaving me lying on the floor, in my mind nothing happens, just a void, a strangely comforting silence... everything hurts, but that doesn't matter, nothing remains, just an empty shell, the soul has darkened, I feel nothing anymore, just a void, a void of nothing but a cold and agonizing breeze, tears still fall from my face, even when I feel nothing, I lie on that cold floor, with nothing but a syringe and the remains of something white that I honestly can't recognize. After what seems like hours, I get up shakily. Now that the world is clearer and less blurry. My mind wanders to a small phrase. 'Oh, and the drug I gave you was a test of an experiment. It wasn't for you, but for that woman, stop your body change and become more...'evolved' if you know what I mean.'

What did he mean by that...shaking my head, I didn't want to think about that right now, my body is so sore and my mind is still trying to adjust to the world, lucky for me I had a manhole cover nearby..

*May these words

of pain and uncertainty,

Serve as a guide in

moments of

weakness.

May poetry be the

light in the shadows
the
dense,

And may the soul
find peace in
its greatness.*

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-------- ◇ --------

Arriving at the lair, I went to the bathroom to wash myself, I scrubbed my scales until they turned red, but even so the feeling of feeling dirty and disgusting remained, even if I washed myself a million times this feeling seemed to never go away, after washing myself, I left the bathroom and went to Splinter's room.. I lay down on the bed, I felt the soft and clean covers beneath me, his scent hung in the air, it made my heart sink.

"Sorry sensei...I failed...I did something so disgusting...I hate this..I hate myself sensei..I'm sorry..I'm sorry sensei..I-I..I dishonored you..I was weak..I didn't fight back..I deserve to be punished.." I feel tears welling up in my eyes, I cry as I cling to the pillow, sobs filling the room as I shake and cry.

(poem 2)

*Oh little ray of sunshine,
when did you become so dull?

I held you in my arms as I wiped away your tears.

Oh little sparkle,
when did you become
so weak?

I told you stories
while you slept
in my arms.

Oh little flower,
when did you lose
your petals?

I sang to you while you had nightmares, I hugged you while you felt alone.*

After I woke up, I realized I hadn't even seen Kitty, I got up even though I was in pain and went to the fridge, opened it and saw Kitty, I took her out and put her on the table, I didn't say anything, I just kept stroking her skin with a sweet and cold gooey texture, my tired eyes focusing on nothing apparently, just an endless void, thinking about how my brothers are, that's a stupid question.. I should be upset or angry with them... but.. no emotion comes, just emptiness..
...

Chapter Text

Chapter: Echoes of the Past

Raphael

The night enveloped the city like a heavy blanket, while Raphael watched the lights spreading in the distance through the car window. Beside him, Mona and Casey were talking animatedly, but their voices mixed with the silence that dominated his thoughts. Raph could not forget what had happened. The look in his little brother, Mikey, was a constant reminder, a flame that burned in his heart. Guilt consumed him.

"Why didn't you say anything, Raph?" Mona's voice, soft, penetrated his bubble of solitude.

"It's nothing..." he answered, without turning to her. He felt a deep pain for having left his brothers behind, but he didn't know how to explain it. The weight of the loss of the Sensei, of his father, still weighed him down. He remembered the lessons Splinter had taught them, and how everything had changed in an instant. Mikey had been left alone in the darkness, and he could have been there, but he decided to walk away.

The image of Mikey in his mind overshadowed the memories of adventures and laughter. He was always the most optimistic, always finding light in the darkness. Raph wondered if someone could be that light for him now. Looking out the window seemed like a way to escape, but the truth was that wherever he was, he couldn't escape the guilt that weighed him down. He took a deep breath, trying to find some comfort, but all he found was the reminder that he wasn't there when Mikey needed him most.

#### Leonardo

In Japan, Leonardo ventured along ancient paths, but his soul felt heavy. Walking with Karai among the traditions and beauty of the country, he couldn't shake the feeling that he had failed. Although he was surrounded by his partner, he was distant, lost in thought. With each step, Mikey's image became clearer, his youthful smile now a painful memory.

"Leonardo?" Karai's voice pulled him from his reverie. "Are you with me?"

"Sorry, Karai. I was just thinking about home..." He couldn't shake the image of Mikey's confused expression as he watched him leave. Memories of when they were children, running through the sewers, filling those dark places with laughter, enveloped him. The pain of separation was like an open wound.

Leonardo remembered the first time Splinter explained what it meant to be a family and a true warrior. But, of them, he felt the weakest. Mikey, as carefree and cheerful as he was, was also sensitive, and he knew that the little boy had his own way of dealing with pain. Guilt hammered at his mind: how could he leave him alone in such a cruel world, a place that not even he could fully understand?

As the gentle breeze ruffled his senses, a bad feeling took shape in his chest. He knew that Mikey was fighting his own battle, and the certainty that he wasn't there to help consumed him. Leonardo needed to go back, not just for Mikey, but for his brothers, for all of them. And then, in a flash, he decided he had to return, no matter what.

#### Donatello

In college, Donatello kept his focus on his research, but the restlessness in his heart was relentless. As he talked to April about new projects, a dark cloud seemed to hover over his mind. He was in a place that should have been his refuge, surrounded by knowledge, but each discovery was accompanied by a wave of sadness.

"You seem distant, Donnie. Is something bothering you?" April asked, watching him with concern.

"It's just... I can't stop thinking about what happened," he confessed, looking out the classroom window. The sense of loss was almost flattering. He remembered being in the lair, all together, while Splinter led them. "Mikey was alone, and the guilt... it's hard to deal with."

April nodded, her expression softening. "It's normal to feel that way. Everyone is dealing with the pain of loss differently."

But Donatello felt that his way of coping, seeking refuge in science and technology, was not enough. He needed his brothers, he needed Mikey. He remembered the friendship and love they shared, and how there had always been a direct connection between them, even when things got tough. That connection now felt fragile, almost broken.

"I need to go back, April." The firmness in her voice surprised even him. "I can't leave Mikey alone. He needs us."

"I understand," April replied, smiling at him. "Let's go together, then."

As the sun rose, each of them began to make the same decision: to return home. The roads and paths that had once seemed far apart now seemed to converge, each of the boys feeling called to return to the lair. The weight of the past still pressed down on their souls, but there was hope on the horizon. Together, they could find a way back to the light.

When their paths crossed

Chapter Text

After the event, the days went by and for some reason my body was... growing? I can't explain it, my plastron is growing in the chest area... it's strange, it was always a little bigger than my brothers', not that much, you could barely notice it if you weren't paying attention, my brothers said it was because I was fat, and I thought so too, but it didn't matter if I stopped eating or not, it never went away, so I just accepted it, but now... it's getting bigger, like a human woman's if I had breasts and not a plastron. When I woke up, I felt weird, I went to the mirror, (which by the way I took from Leo's room), but when I went to look I was surprised, my plastron was bigger and my thighs got bigger too, I really didn't know what it was, but one thing caught my attention, what he had told me, something about the drug he gave me being an experiment for human women to become... 'evolved', and since I'm supposedly a female it would work.... that could only be the explanation, but.. I should be scared or weird, but for some reason I liked this 'transformation', like, I like being a boy.. but I think being a girl seems to be good too, ugh... I'm feeling like a freak now, what are these thoughts? What would my brothers say??, I laughed a little at that thought, they're not here and it's idiotic to think that they would actually be mad or disgusted anyway. But I was taken out of my thoughts when I heard a meow. When I went to the kitchen, I came across Kitty and a kitten on the table next to her. That was strange. Could the kitten be lost? Kitty seemed to like the other cat, and the same for the other party. I went over and looked at the cat closely.

He was orange and had some white spots. His eyes were a dark green. He was really cute. I sat at the table and watched the two of them. They seemed to be talking telepathically to each other. The way they were staring at each other, the cat would occasionally lick Kitty. It was cute. They looked at me and I said, "Hey, little ones, how are you? Are you having fun talking without using words? Or meowing, hihi." They just stared at me.

I petted them and they purred. It was so cute! Well, at least something good happened these days. Hmm, I should give the kitten a name. But what? Hmm.... Klunk? Yes! Perfect! Klunk, that sounds good enough to me, now Klunk and Kitty are little friends, it's so cute, I'm not alone, I have my two little friends now, and I love them. I watch them, until my stomach growls, I'm not really hungry, but I force myself to eat, I don't want to lose energy again, this sucks, and after everything that happened, being weak is the last thing I want, I get up and go to the fridge to get an egg, I take the opportunity to feed Klunk and Kitty. As I open the fridge, the cold air mixes with the morning heat, and I feel a light breeze that makes everything a little more bearable. Taking the egg, I put the egg in the frying pan while Klunk and Kitty play with each other. The smell of the egg being fried begins to invade the kitchen, and at the same time that the worry is present, I force myself to focus on the simplicity of that moment.

Cooking has always been a form of meditation for me. As the egg fries, my mind wanders to the latest events. From those unexpected circumstances to the new challenges that have arisen. Life doesn't stop and I definitely don't feel prepared enough, my mind goes to such dark places, I try not to think about what happened, but I can still feel the touches on my body and the agonizing sensation of being slowly stretched, but feeling disgusting for having enjoyed it, I know it was my body reacting... but I hate myself so much for it... sometimes I just want to hurt myself, feel the blade penetrating my skin and slowly tearing it as drops of blood accumulate in the cut, falling into the sink while the so good burn comes... The sound of the frying pan pulls me back to reality, and I put the egg on a plate. Klunk and Kitty look at me with pleading eyes, it was tempting, but at the same time adorable. I put some of the dry food for them, taking the opportunity to fill their bowls. Satisfied eyes soon turn to me, and it brings a small smile to my face. After eating, I get up and start cleaning the kitchen. Every movement is automatic, but my mind is in a whirlwind. What do I do next? Do I give up? Do I try to move on? I don't want to fight anymore..but if I don't, would I be a disappointment to Splinter??..

As I wash the dishes, the image of last week's events invade my mind. It was supposed to be a simple patrol, but life always likes to fuck me up. My homies abandoned me, Splinter died, my friends are far away, and I'm alone..my only company wasKitty, but apparently another one has come to join us. I turn off the tap, wipe it down and, looking at the wall, I stare at it, my mind is blank, almost nothing goes through it, just a blank, but I soon come to when I remember that I have two little animals. "Come on, guys!", I say to Klunk and Kitty, who look expectantly. "We have a lot to do today." With that in mind, I grab the cleaning supplies and start cleaning the den, after what seemed like hours (or really were hours) we finish, I lie down on the couch, already exhausted, I just end up falling asleep, tired of being awake... or of being alive.

Amidst the shadows,

I feel the weight, A piercing pain, an intense lament.

I walk through streets of blurred

memories, My steps are echoes of dark nights.

Dirt accumulates in the

soul and on the skin, A heavy cloak that no

one reveals to me. Dry

tears mark a desert, And hope drowns i

n concrete abysses.

I give up the fight,

the dream and the glory,

The brightness fades,

I can hardly believe in the story.

The stars above are now just sparks,

They reflect the pain that

never tires in me. Life

becomes a weight to carry,

A burden that screams, but does not want to be silent.

And the desire to

escape, to disappear into the void,

Wraps me in its claws, a

dark challenge.

I drag myself through the mud, shame catches me,

Each step is a scream,

a pain that surrenders.

And if the light went out,

if the voice fell silent,

I would surrender to nothingness,

where the pain would not establish itself.

But even in the end,

a shadow lurks, A whisper,

an echo, a narrow choice.

Giving up is easier, that I know well, But maybe, in the pain, I'll find a reason.

Chapter Text

Pov: Nobody

Even after what happened, Mikey still fought against the Midnight Gang, to prevent what happened to him from happening to other people. Sometimes he wins, other times he loses. He works better fighting with a team, but he no longer has a team, so he fights alone without anyone. He improved in fighting, he did his best to be good, but to prevent others from getting hurt, people have to make sacrifices, and that's what Michelangelo did. He sacrificed his sanity for the good of humans, even if he didn't get anything in return. From the strange looks, he did it, and he made a deal with the Midnights, so that if they felt like doing those things, they could do them to him and never touch another human again. They accepted it well, because for some reason they liked this 'transformation' in his body, which was their fault. That drug ruined everything. It was disgusting, but at least the humans were fine. I think he finally did something useful once. Once in my life.

POV: Mikey

I was sitting on the couch, with nothing really to do. I had already cleaned, cooked, read books, comics, watched movies, but these things got kind of... boring and dull, but suddenly everything stops, returning to reality, I hear a voice coming from Donnie's lab (old lab), and with my curiosity piqued, I walk slowly to the lab door, holding my nunchucks tightly (which are now always with me in case of emergencies), I get to the door, it wasn't locked, but it was definitely rusty, and with a little effort I manage to open it, it was difficult, but I managed it. I look around, the place was a mess, papers everywhere, failed experiments, plans that were never used, parts everywhere, and, ha! The mug I was looking for, yuck, it was dirty with old coffee, it must be all sticky now, and well... and well, at the moment I can hear the voice better, it was... Donnie's voice?.. with a fucked up robot sound, but it was definitely Donnie's voice.. and now it started talking again, like a recording.

'If you're hearing this, it's because I'm gone, and if you're any of my brothers, don't touch anything, especially you, Mikey. This warning is that if one or two years pass and I don't come back, all the power in the lair will be turned off, just for a few hours so as not to waste too much energy or just cause a short circuit, because the energy is not like that of humans and is much less advanced. The power will turn off after the recording ends. 'Recording finished'

I listen to all this a bit perplexed, the place suddenly went dark, he didn't say how long he'll be without power, but apparently it's quite a while... this doesn't sound good, I can't be without power, I have things to do, like, okay, I have my books and comics, not to mention that I can cook and take care of the city while all this is happening, it's kind of stupid to say that I wouldn't have anything to do actually, but that's beside the point! The food could spoil in the fridge, he's not even here, who does he think he is to do that!? He's the one who left and I'm the one who gets screwed?, wow, congratulations Michelangelo, you're very lucky, long live luck hamato.

But I am abruptly taken out of my thoughts when I hear a meow, it sounded like an agonizing meow, a meow of pain and panic, it seemed muffled, but it also sounded like... it was dying... and the other one was more distressed, and it also seemed to be scratching something... it sounded desperate and was a little louder, wait... if the power went out... the FREEZER!?, damn it! Kitty!

I run to the kitchen desperately, tripping in the process, I end up hurting my leg when I hit something, even tripping, I go to the refrigerator and quickly open the freezer door and grab Kitty, shit! The den is too hot, is she melting!? I have to think, what is the coldest place in this shitty place!? Wait, the lab! Yes! Donnie's lab is the coldest place.

I run to the lab quickly, even though I'm limping, I didn't even go to see what the injury was, my main concern was Kitty, however, by my good luck, halfway to the lab I end up falling because of the injury and dropping Kitty, in desperation I try to put her back in the jar and take her inside the lab, Klunk following me from behind, I put Kitty on the lab floor.

"Don't worry Kitty! Everything will be fine! Y-you'll be fine..I-I trust you, y-you're strong!"

I say, trying to calm the situation, but a soft meow is heard from her, a light and weak '
"meow..", even though it wasn't in words, I could almost hear her apologizing and saying goodbye, my heart breaking when I see her melt in the jar, turning into a sweet and sticky liquid..I grip the jar tightly, tears falling from my freckled cheeks.

"No no no no no nonononononoNO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NONONONONONO!! DON'T LEAVE ME! DON'T LEAVE ME PLEASE KITTY! I need y-you! Please!.this shouldn't have happened!! I'm sorry! I'm sorry kitty! Please come back! This...shouldn't have happened.....I'M SORRY!!.."

With despair, anger and anguish, I let out a scream, a scream of pain and hatred, hatred for his brothers having left, hatred for himself for not having foreseen something like this, anguish for losing my cold and sweet friend, for being alone again.
I lie down on the cold floor of the laboratory, crying while tightly holding the jar of what was kitty, sobs echo everywhere as I cry, klunk stays by my side, gently touching the jar with kitty's liquid, meowing in anguish, as if he were asking for kitty to come back or answer, I can see the anguish in his eyes...fuck!.. I pick klunk up and hug him, why does this have to happen to me..? Why?..

"Oh klunk..y-you're the only one I have left....." I stroke his fur then cry softly, after a while, that damn voice came again..

'The light will return In 5 hours at the most, and whoever is in my lab, don't touch >anything<, this goes to you Mikey. Recording ended'

Just with this recording, I boiled with rage, I threw Klunk out of the lab and closed the door, I was so, so SO TIRED! I grabbed a piece of metal and started breaking all the things in that damn lab.

"hahahaha! WHO'S GOING TO STOP ME FROM TOUCHING YOUR STUFF DEE!? YOU? OH YEAH, YOU'RE NOT HERE!! HAHAHAH!!"

I start to break everything I had in that place, pure hatred taking over me, I was really out of control, all I saw was red, while I screamed and broke everything around me, some things ended up hurting me in the process, but I didn't care, it was his fault that Kitty was dead, it was their fault that I went through hell, their fault that they abandoned me and left me to take care of something that I was not mentally prepared for, I hate them for that, I hate myself for feeling this anger, hatred and rage towards them, but that was nothing new, I had been holding it in for so long that it just exploded now..

After what seemed like hours, I get tired and fall to my knees, stepping on some broken glass, but I'm too tired to notice, everything hurts, my body and soul are broken, my mental state is shit I just want to lie down and die, but I have klunk to take care of, (creator: for how long?>:}) and I'm so exhausted, I just wish things would be okay go back to how it was before, my friends, family, damn even the villains... after the static in my ears clears, I can hear klunk scratching the door, I want to get up but my body doesn't allow it, luckily the door was ajar and klunk managed to get in, he goes to where I'm lying and close to me, I hug him, without much strength to go to the room, I fall asleep right there, ignoring the bruises I made myself.

The next day, the pain seems to have gotten worse. I had forgotten to heal my wounds, filling me with pain. I stare at the jar of sweet liquid that was once Kitty's, shaking my head to get those thoughts out of my head. I simply pick up the jar and carry it, slowly walking to the dojo, limping a little because of my wounds. I take a quick look around the lair. It was dirty again, but I'm not surprised. I never liked cleaning, but I always end up making a mess. So when I stop at the door of the dojo, I take a deep breath and slowly enter. I don't stay here much, because it hurts not to see Leo meditating or Raph hitting the punching bag. But what hurts even more is that it's very close to the tree where Splinter is buried. But taking a deep breath, I go to the place where Splinter is buried and make a small grave next to it. I silently apologize for damaging the grass. I pour Kitty into the grave and bury it. I make a simple bow to both of them. two, klunk was on my shoulder, maybe he was also making a reference, I'm not sure, but it's nice to think so, I pet klunk gently, look at kitty and splinter's graves, put some flowers (made of paper because I'm too tired to collect them outside).

"Sensei.. forgive me.. I failed.. as a son.. as a ninja.. I'm too weak.. is that why they abandoned me? Because I'm weak? Am I really useless..?" I cry while klunk remains on my shoulder, gently rubbing against my cheek, meowing softly, I cry, asking for forgiveness for something I didn't even do, but that was equally with the guilt of not being good enough.

After much crying, I go to my room, lay down on the bed, my body aching even though I've healed my injuries, klunk lies down with me, and I finally fall asleep.

*Under the Rainy Skies
(Poem)

A fine rain pours down from the sky,

Tears that dance in an eternal coming and going,

Each drop brings an echo, a new whisper,

Forgiveness gets entangled in the destiny that never comes.

Pain becomes

nest in my chest, silent,
Like an old film that never fades,
Longing is shadow, it is light, it is prose,
It is remorse that caresses the mind.

I feel the weight of guilt, like a cloak,
That covers my shoulders with its coldness,
My heart breaks into a thousand corners,
Searching in time for the long-awaited certainty.

These skies, so vast, hold my cry,
Asking for the rain of peace, that one day will come,
But reality is a rite of pain,
And hope, a star that will disguise itself.

The blood boils in memories, scars,
Each lost look, a dark labyrinth,
The echoes of laughter, now are roots
That drive an impure love into the soil.

Oh, how I long for a breath of fresh air,
That erases the marks of pain and tears,
A forgiveness that resonates in time,
Like the rain that nourishes life in enchantment.

But who am I, if not a pilgrim,
Walking under skies that weep in vanities?

Between the pain of the past and the divine future,
I seek in today a thread of truth.

May the heavy clouds take the weight,
And may each drop cleanse the soul in madness,
So, perhaps, I will find a new beginning,
Under the skies of rain, and a genuine love.*

The daylight could barely enter through the dusty window. The curtain, a little worn, filtered the rays, creating a twilight, almost dreamlike atmosphere. It was there, in that space confined by pain, that Mikey lost himself in his own thoughts. He felt like a prisoner of himself, locked in a world where every breath was a reminder of what he believed to be a personal disaster.

Forgiveness. The word orbited his mind in a vicious cycle, like a satellite trapped in the gravity of the hatred he harbored for himself. He looked at his hands and saw on their palms the marks of battles he had fought against his own being, and each scar seemed like a manifesto of his pain, a constant reminder of his failures. Guilt was a heavy compress, wrapped around his memories, suffocating any trace of hope that might surface.

"Why can't I let this go?" he thought, his eyes fixed on the floor. The feeling of inadequacy enveloped him like a thick fog, obscuring reason and logic. He wondered how he could forgive himself for not living up to the expectations that, in truth, were instilled by a stupid life. This incessant self-criticism became a mantra wrapped in hate, a sad song that played over and over again and never seemed to go away.

The guilt was a shifting ground. With every mistake, every poor choice, it expanded, swallowing his self-esteem. “I should have been better, stronger, happier,” he reflected, feeling like an impostor in his own life.

Mikey lingered on specific memories, moments when his presence became a shadow, as if his mere existence overshadowed the light of others. He remembered criticisms he had given without thinking, laughter he had not shared, love he had not shown. “Why do I do this? Why do I hurt the ones I love?” The self-hatred throbbed like a distant drum, a call to action in his confused mind.

And there was the darker longing that whispered in his moments of weakness. Between guilt and forgiveness was a line so thin that he could often barely see it. "If I wasn't here, life could be easier for everyone," the idea haunted me, and it was like a poison that slowly seeped in, corroding the will to fight.

I just wanted my brothers back, I just wanted things to go back to the way they were before, why did I have to be alone and abandoned? Loneliness had become my inseparable companion, a heavy cloak that I couldn't shake off. Every memory of them was a scream in my mind, a distant laugh that now sounded like a lament. The house was empty, the hallways seemed longer and colder, and the familiar smell of childhood had dissipated, replaced by an aroma of bitter nostalgia.

The afternoons spent playing and sharing stories became a distant past, something I desperately wanted to rescue. Time had been cruel, taking everything I loved away, like dry leaves carried by the wind. I wondered why they were gone, what had happened for our paths to separate so abruptly. There was no clear answer; just a sequence of events that left the emptiness in my heart even deeper.

The nights were the worst. In the silence, I heard the whispers of memories, the voices of my brothers, and it cut like a knife. They were my refuge, my connection to pure happiness. Without them, the world seemed gray, devoid of color and joy. I tried to distract myself, to occupy myself, but the truth was that the pain of absence was a burden that I could not carry alone. And the idea that everything had changed forever was a poison that infiltrated every aspect of my existence.

I wanted to scream, to break something, but the loneliness held me captive. I reflected on the fragility

The ility of relationships and how life could be so fickle. One exchange of words, one misunderstanding, and everything fell apart like a house of cards. I wanted to seek more, fight harder, but the words and actions I didn’t do echoed inside me, and regret became a chain that bound me.

The truth is that I believed there was still hope. Maybe, somewhere, they also felt this loss, this emptiness. Maybe one day we would meet again, and everything would go back to the way it was before. But that hope was increasingly distant, a mirage that I didn’t know if I would be able to reach. With each passing day, the desire to recover what we had became more difficult to sustain, like a candle slowly burning in the darkness.

Chapter Text

Mikey nodded as the dim morning light filtered through the curtains. The pain in his body reminded him of the past few days, a whirlwind of emotions and internal struggles. His mind was still stuck on the memory of Kitty, his adorable ice cream cat, which had started suddenly. The loss had left him shaken and empty, and now, as he looked at Klunk, his feline companion, he felt an even greater weight. Klunk was a little sick, but his eyes were full of love and concern.

Standing slowly, Mikey stretched his tired body, each movement a reminder of the battle he was fighting not only against the villains, but also against sadness. He walked over to Klunk, who was lying on his bed, his eyes half-closed. "Come on, buddy," Mikey said, gently stroking the cat's head. "We both need to take care of ourselves."

Despite being exhausted, Mikey prepared to make breakfast. He dragged himself to the kitchen, the smell of fresh coffee bringing some comfort amidst the pain. As the water boiled, he picked up the beans and ground them, the routine helping to energize his racing mind. Each step was an effort, but he reminded himself of the responsibility he had towards Klunk.

After brewing the coffee, he sat at the table, taking a warm sip as he watched Klunk stretch. The cat seemed to understand his owner's sadness, and his eyes shone with silent understanding. "Let's face the day together, shall we?" Mikey murmured, trying to find strength in his friend's presence.

With the coffee quickly ready, Mikey put on his bandana and prepared for patrol. He knew he had to focus on something bigger than his grief. With one last look at Klunk, who had curled up comfortably in his space, he left the house, vowing to make a difference in the city he loved so much.

On the way, the city seemed darker than usual. Thoughts of Kitty still weighed heavily on his heart, but he knew he had to move on first. However, as he walked, a familiar and provocative voice interrupted his thoughts.

"Look who we have here, useless Mikey!" concluded an enemy from afar, emerging from the shadows, a villain known for his cruel taunts. "Do you really think you can make a difference? Everyone abandoned you because they know you're weak!"

Anger began to boil inside Mikey, but he took a deep breath, trying to control himself. "I'm not weak," he replied, his voice firm but somewhat shaky. "I won't let you discourage me."

"Oh, but you're so fragile, it's almost sad," he continued, laughing. "What are you going to do? Fight with your broken heart? You're nothing without your brothers!"

Without another word; the villain advanced, and the fight began. Mikey, although still shaken, was determined to show that pain would not define him. He knew he had to fight, not only for himself, but also for Kitty's memory and for the protection of Klunk. The fight was about to begin, and Mikey was ready to face whatever came his way

Mikey positioned himself in a dark alley, the tension in the air was palpable. Ahead of him, the villain known as Steel, a brutal fighter with impenetrable armor, waited. The glow of ninja stars reflected the moonlight, while Mikey twirled his nunchucks skillfully, ready for combat.

The fight began with a quick movement. Mikey threw a ninja star, which cut through the air and hit Steel's arm. The villain growled, but quickly recovered, advancing with a powerful punch. Mikey dodged, sliding to the side and unleashing a series of blows with his nunchucks, hitting Steel's side.

Steel shook his head, trying to recover from the attack. He counterattacked, launching a high kick. Mikey ducked, avoiding the blow, and with a quick movement, he spun his nunchucks, striking the villain's leg, making him stagger. Taking advantage of the weakness, Mikey threw another ninja star, but Steel managed to dodge it.

The battle continued at a frenetic pace. Mikey jumped and spun, using his nunchucks to block the attacks and deliver quick blows. But Steel was resilient, and soon began using his armor to protect himself. A strong blow made Mikey lose his balance, and in an instant, Steel grabbed the nunchucks.

With a sudden movement, Steel ripped the nunchucks from Mikey's hands and threw them away. Mikey felt the adrenaline rush as he looked at his weapons, now out of reach. He found himself at a disadvantage, but he was not willing to give up.

Without his nunchucks, Mikey retreated, adopting a fighting stance. Using his ninjutsu skills, he focused and attacked with a series of punches and kicks. He delivered a quick jab to Steel's face, followed by a low kick that hit the villain's knee, knocking him off balance. Steel, enraged, charged forward with a devastating punch. Mikey dodged, but not completely; the blow hit his side, staggering him. He took a deep breath, ignoring the pain, and performed a karate move, aA spinning hut caught Steel by surprise, hitting his chin.

The villain retreated, but soon recovered. He launched a double punch attack, and Mikey, in a quick movement, grabbed Steel's arm, using his strength to temporarily immobilize him. With a nimble turn, he kneed the villain in the stomach, making him grunt in pain.

Mikey knew he needed to finish the fight. He focused, channeling his energy. In a quick movement, he used an open hand strike, hitting Steel's chest and making him retreat even further. Taking advantage of the opening, Mikey jumped, executing a high kick that hit the villain directly in the head.

Steel fell back, but he was not defeated. With a roar, he got up and advanced again. Mikey, now with his vision blurred and injuries all over his body, realized he needed to retreat. In a swift movement, he moved away, using his agility to avoid Steel's attacks.

With a final blow, Mikey threw a ninja star that hit Steel's shoulder, making him stop for a moment. But the battle had taken its toll. Mikey was injured, with cuts and bruises, and his vision was compromised. He knew he couldn't keep fighting for much longer.

Realizing that he couldn't win, Mikey decided it was time to flee. He used his last strength to run, dodging Steel's attacks. With one last look at the villain, he disappeared into the darkness of the night, determined to fight another day, despite the serious wounds that would accompany him.

In the twilight of the soul, pain rises,
Like a shadow that embraces, a heavy cloak,
Blood that pulses in veins, a tired rhythm,
Echo of memories, a scream that cannot be preached.

Stone paths, where steps are lost,
Echoes of laughter that are now screams,
Dry tears, between cursed smiles,
Longing settles in, like a weight that gets tangled up.

I look at the photographs, dusty faces,
In the frame of my mind, a undone film,
Pain is an artist, painting a plot,
Transforming joy into its faded features.

And the blood that flows, into insistent memories,
Telling stories of lost loves,
Each drop a life, each cut, a roar,
Time is useless, it takes away the gifts.

Empty is the space that was once full,
Where laughter danced like stars in the sky,
Now only echoes, a cruel silence,
The heart carries such an ugly burden.

Longing, old friend, who won't leave me alone,
Your arms wrap around me, but they hold me too tight,
A breath of life, in infamous memories,
Walking in limbo, between love and what you do.

Glances that crossed, promises in the wind,
Whispered words, now they are torment,
And the night drags on, a veil of disappointment,
Useless is the dream that is not fulfilled.

Each beat of the chest, a distant echo,
A war cry that is never triumphant,
Between the shadows of the mind, the past hides,
And the void spreads, like an incessant sea.

Pain becomes art, a painted canvas,
With colors of blood and broken souls,
And in the background of the painting, a desolate being,
Who searches in the darkness for what was and was loved.

So I move forward, between wounds and tears,
Trying to find meaning in the rhymes,
But the echo of nothingness, like a siren's song,
Leads me to sail through such cold waters.

And time, this master, who takes and brings,
Teaches us that life is a voracious cycle,
But in the dance of the useless, between pain and longing,
Only the echoes of a love on a pier remain.

In the twilight of the soul, pain rises,
And between shadows and silences, life clings,
Longing intertwines, a veil of torment,
And in the infinite void, I find my lament.

, Mikey felt a mixture of relief and pain. The battle had been intense, but survival was now his priority. Steel's gaze, furious and determined, was etched in his mind as he walked away.

Every step was a struggle, his muscles crying out for rest, but adrenaline kept him moving. The shadows of the ruins seemed to close in around him, but Mikey could not allow himself to be captured. He knew the city still needed him, that the fight wasn’t over.

The sharp breeze whispered around him, as if trying to encourage him to keep going. Mikey took a deep breath, feeling the pressure on his shoulder where the ninja star was still embedded. The pain was intense, but he couldn’t let it stop him.

Finally, he found a narrow passage through the rubble, a path to freedom. He squeezed through it, his heart racing, his mind focused only on escape. The city had its scars, but there was still hope.

Outside, daylight was beginning to break through the clouds, and with it came the promise of a new beginning. Mikey paused for a moment, looking back, remembering the fierce battle and all that had been lost. But also remembering the reason he fought. With one last thought to Steel, he walked away,
r, both physically and emotionally.

As he entered, the familiar smell of the room enveloped him, bringing a mix of comfort and pain. The walls were filled with memories, every corner carrying echoes of laughter and past battles. Mikey let the feeling of safety envelop him as he headed to the bathroom to treat his wounds.

Carefully, he removed the ninja star from his shoulder, the sharp pain making him groan. He washed the wound with soap and water, his mind still stuck in the fight. The image of Steel, relentless and furious, insisted on appearing, as a reminder of what was at stake.

After healing the cuts and applying bandages, Mikey sat in a corner of the couch, exhausted. The silence of the house seemed to resonate with his reflections. He knew he needed to be more than a fighter. He needed to be a leader, someone who could inspire and unite others around a common purpose.

The image of his family pushed him to stand up. He wasn't just fighting for himself; he was fighting for everyone who depended on him. With renewed determination, he began to plan. Meetings, strategies, everything to confront Steel again, but this time with more allies at his side.

As the sun set, dyeing the sky orange and purple, Mikey felt strength well up within him again. He was not defeated; he was simply preparing for the next battle. And with this new hope, he knew he was not alone. The future still held its surprises, and Mikey was ready to face them, one step at a time.
and prepared himself for what was to come. Each step took him back to his refuge, a place where he could replenish himself.

Chapter Text

Chapter: Shadows and Hopes

Mikey settled into bed, the weight of his wounds still throbbing in his body, but the physical pain seemed secondary to the new reality that was unfolding. He closed his eyes for a moment, trying to push away the memories of the fight that had left him there, vulnerable. But when he opened them again, he realized that the light coming through the window was not the same. The vision on the right side was blurred and distorted, as if a persistent fog enveloped it.

“No…” he whispered to himself, his trembling hand exploring his face. Confirmation came quickly: his right eye was unresponsive. He remembered how everything had changed in an instant. The adrenaline of the battle, the screams, and then the blow that had left him in that condition. Worry gripped his heart, but there was no time to mourn.

Klunk, his adorable cat, lying at the foot of the bed, let out a soft meow. Mikey turned his head, seeking the feline’s comforting presence. In the last few days, she seemed to have lost her vitality, her bright eyes now dull. He stood up slowly, each movement causing waves of pain, but the urgency to take care of her overcame any discomfort.

“What happened, my little one?” he murmured, running his fingers through Klunk’s soft fur. The cat didn’t get up, just looked at him with a look that seemed more empty with each passing day. “We need help.”

He crawled over to the small medicine bag he had left on the table next to the bed. Carefully, he took the medicine he had in Raph’s room (for some reason he had animal medicine hidden away). The hope that it could make some difference in Klunk was the only thing that kept him going.

“This will help you, I promise!” he said, trying to convey optimism but his voice was shaking with anguish, memories of kitty still engraved in his memory, like a parasite. And with great effort, he managed to mix the medicine with some food. Klunk approached hesitantly, but when the scent reached his nose, she began to eat slowly. Mikey watched with a mixture of relief and anxiety, hoping that this small gesture would be the beginning of her recovery.

As the days passed, Mikey found himself immersed in a cycle of caring for Klunk. He learned to live with his new condition, dealing with his partial blindness while trying to focus on the cat's health. The shadows in his right eye became a constant, but he tried not to let himself be consumed by sadness. Klunk needed him, and that was all that mattered.

One sunny afternoon, as Klunk slept peacefully beside him, he walked to the living room, holding onto the walls to keep himself upright. Pain radiated through his body, but he forced himself to keep going. Limping, he walked to the living room, each step a constant reminder of what he had lost and what was still at stake.

When he reached the living room, he sat on the couch, his shell leaning against the soft fabric of the old and worn couch. But slowly thoughts began to accumulate, like dark clouds filled with pain.

“What if Klunk doesn’t recover?” This question hammered in his mind. The image of the cat, so fragile and weakened, made his heart tighten. He couldn’t bear the idea of ​​losing her, he didn’t want to lose anyone else. Despair took over his being, and a lump formed in his throat. “What if I can’t save her?”

Soon, other thoughts emerged. His sensei’s face appeared in his mind, serene and wise. The longing he felt was almost unbearable. Mikey remembered all the lessons, each encouraging word. He wished he had one more piece of advice, one more chance to hear her voice. The void left by her absence felt like darkness in his soul. “If he were here, everything would be different.”

Anger began to infiltrate his thoughts. “Why did my brothers abandon me? They were always together, while I...” The pain turned into indignation. How could they leave him behind at such a critical moment? He felt like a shadow, an unnecessary burden that no one wanted to carry. The betrayal hurt more than any blow.

Mikey sat on the couch, his head in his hands. “What’s wrong with me?” Disgust spread through his body. He couldn’t understand why, even though he fought to be strong, he felt so weak. “I’m a burden. I’m not worthy of being a brother, a friend, or even a guardian of Klunk.”

His thoughts took a dark turn. “Maybe if I weren’t here, things would be better.” The idea of ​​hurting himself crept in, like a treacherous whisper. The physical pain he felt was insignificant compared to the emotional pain. And, in a moment of weakness, he found himself thinking about what it would be like to end it all, what it would be like to get rid of this unbearable weight.

“But what about Klunk? And what would my sensei say?” A conflict formed within him, a desire to free himself and a cry for help. He

and he felt lost, at the mercy of his own demons.

Slowly the dark thoughts began to fade away, taking a deep breath, sinking deeper into the comfort of the couch, I began to hum a little song that Sensei sang when he had nightmares...

Mikey, after waking up from a nightmare, runs to Splinter's room, with tears in his eyes, holding the teddy bear. Splinter, who was getting ready to sleep, hears the footsteps and turns to the door. Seeing his son's anguish, he opens his arms to him. Mikey immediately jumps into Splinter's lap. Splinter doesn't bother to ask what the dream was, he just rocks Mikey, rocking him gently, until he starts to sing.

Little sunshine
Please don't cry
It's not your fault
That little one
Stay safe with daddy
You'll never fall
And we'll always love you
With scales and green skin

Little sunshine
Please don't cry
It's not your fault
Those scales
Stay safe with daddy
You'll never fall
And we'll always love you
With your smile and everything

Little sunshine
Please don't cry
It's not your fault
You're so radiant
Stay safe with daddy
You'll never fall
And we'll always love
You've been lost but it's okay

Don't be afraid, and I'm here,
Even with thorns that hurt me.

Spears hit me, but I, if I fall,
Your heart, I'll always protect.

I'll always be with you,

If the world goes away, I won't leave you,

Flying like a bird, we'll meet again.

Beauty attracts me, but I know,
What matters is the love I gave.
In the midst of pain, together we will fight,
I will always be with you,
If the world goes away, I won't leave you,
Flying like a bird, we will meet.
One day, we will be free,
Flying on the wings of hope,
Together in harmony,
Nothing can stop us.
I will always be with you,
If the world goes away, I won't leave you,
Flying like a bird, we will meet.
Don't be afraid, my little sunshine,
I'm here, forever, please.
With a hug, I will rock you,
Our bond is eternal, always shining.

Mikey finished singing the little lullaby, his soft voice trembling with emotion. A smile broke out on his face, even as tears streamed down his face. He remembered the hard times, the nights when nightmares haunted him, and how his sensei was always there, ready to calm him with his comforting melody.

Missing him wrapped himself around him like a heavy blanket. Mikey curled up on the couch, pulling his legs close to his chest. Memories flooded his mind: the sense of security he felt when he heard his mentor's voice, the peace that spread through his heart as he sang. Those songs were a shelter, a refuge from the shadows that surrounded him.

Now, as he remembered the strength his sensei had always given him, the mixture of happiness and pain made him cry. He smiled, but the smile was also a form of mourning, a tribute to everything he had lost. Wrapping himself in his own arms, he felt Klunk's presence by his side, a reminder that even in the darkest nights, there was still light.

"I'm not alone," he murmured, almost like a mantra. "I'll always be with you, Klunk." With tears still streaming, he allowed himself to feel sadness, but also gratitude. The music of the past echoed in his heart, and at that moment, he knew that the strength he sought was within him, as well as the song that would always accompany him.

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 Poem 

Longing dances in the silence of the night,
Like shadows that whisper my name,
Almost overcome, but the heart afflicted,
Still lost, in the labyrinth of dreams.

The emptiness echoes in every corner,
Fragments of a broken self,
Memories that weigh like the cloak,
Of a past that is gone, entangled.

Searching for the light between the fractures,
Trying to put together the shattered pieces,
But the pain insists, like fissures,
In a spirit that yearns for care.

Almost overcoming, but it's not the end,
Tortuous paths in the middle of darkness,
And while I fight, for a future like this,
I carry the longing like a song.

Chapter Text

Chapter 12

Oh little one, when did you grow up?

I remember carrying you,

Your laughter like notes, a melody,

The whole world accompanying you.

Oh little one, why did you stay away?

Memories dance like leaves in the wind,

Your eyes, once bright, now wander,

And time, relentless, takes the moment.

Playing in the fields, the sun shining,

Secrets whispered under the blue sky,

But now, in every shadow, a regret,

Longing nestles, a love so subtle.

Oh little one, when did you grow up?

Your steps, once light, are now firm,

But in every memory, the child still exists,

And in my heart, your laughter is imprinted.

Oh little one, why did you stay away?

If life is a bond that wants to unite us,
In every memory, in every moment,
You are always with me, even as we move forward.

The starry nights bring echoes of laughter,
Fairy tales and dreams of yesteryear,
And I, guardian of enchanted memories,
I see in you the light that never lingers.

Oh little one, when you look back,
Do you see the flowery field, the paths of yesteryear?
I still hear the sound of the breeze that brings
Your innocent steps, your essence, now.

The summer afternoons, the ice cream melting,
The promises made under the gaze of the sun,
Your brilliant future, lighting up in the distance,
But what remains in me is the love that has no end.

Oh little one, why does time separate us?

If life is a cycle, and love is deep,
In each farewell, a new journey,
And in each reunion, a fertile universe.

The road is long, and the destinations are diverse,
But the bond that unites us is strong, unparalleled,
And even if the distance transforms our verses,
Your smile, oh little one, is my final port.

So, if one day you feel the longing,
Know that in every corner, in every dawn,
I am here, in your eternity,
Guarding the child who let himself grow.

Oh little one, when did you grow up?
And even if life makes us change,
In every memory, a love that dresses itself,
Eternally united, ready to dream.

Mikey walked through the moldy sewers, the muffled sounds of the world above barely reaching his ears. The dim light of the lanterns wavered, casting dancing shadows on the damp walls. It was a common patrol, but there was something different in the air. A strange feeling accompanied him, as if he were being watched. He shook his head, trying to ignore it, diving into his thoughts.

The echoes of his footsteps mixed with the dripping water and the strong smell of mold. He mused about life, remembering how, even in the face of the horrors he had faced, he had found a way to move forward. The pain of his brothers’ abandonment still tormented him, but it was no longer that raw, devastating pain. Now it was a distant echo, a wound that was slowly healing, even if it still made him feel incomplete.

“Sensei would be proud… right?” he thought, a brief spark of hope emerging amidst the grief. Mikey struggled not to let the sadness consume him. He knew he had to be strong, not just for himself, but for himself and for Klunk. He walked faster, determined to focus on the mission.

But as he approached the lair, a noise broke the silence. A crack, followed by a subtle shuffling, as if something or someone was moving in the shadows. Mikey stopped, his heart racing. The feeling of being watched came back with full force. He turned around, but the darkness revealed nothing.

You can forget all reason
You also have no heart anymore
Nothing will be the same as before
Your skin has already rotted
They sold everything that was yours
Your house is empty

"It's just your imagination," he told himself, but the uneasiness persisted. He took a deep breath, trying to push away the discomfort. The lair was so close. A few more steps and he would be home, safe.

However, as soon as he crossed the entrance to the lair, his adrenaline shot up. A quick movement behind him, and before he could react, something strong pushed him against the wall. The impact made his ribs hurt and his breathing hitch for a moment. Mikey turned his head, trying to focus.

There, in front of him, was his enemy, Steel. The imposing figure smiled, a cruel and confident smile. Mikey tried to free himself, but the pressure was too much. "You must have followed me," Mikey thought, fighting the fatigue that crept into his limbs. He was exhausted, the last few days taking their toll, and now, at this critical moment, he wondered if he could fight.

Mikey's mind was spinning, trying to calculate his options. The fight wasn't just against this enemy; it was also against his own limitations, the exhaustion that threatened to paralyze him. But in his heart, a flame of determination still burned. He knew that, despite everything, he couldn't let fear win.

".........", knowing that he couldn't do anything, he fell silent, but then a meow could be heard, my blood immediately ran cold when I saw Steel looking at Klunk.

Dead, dead, dead
Why can't you see that you're already dead?
Two, ten, twenty passed years
And only you didn't notice

''Wait...w-what are you looking at....please leave Klunk alone!'' I say desperately while Steel smiles creepily at me. ''Hour hour hour...so my toy has a pet? No no, you can only think of me...''

I see Steel approach Klunk who was already sick, Steel grabs Klunk by the neck..' 'WAIT!! DO WHATEVER YOU WANT TO ME BUT LEAVE KLUNK ALONE! PLEASE! DON'T HURT HIM—'', I hear a crack, I look at Klunk who was still being held by Steel, his neck was frighteningly soft..Steel was still holding him by the neck. My eyes widen with realization, Steel breaks Klunk's neck
My heart races as reality sets in in my mind. The image of Klunk, my faithful friend, being held by Steel, turns into a nightmare. A desperate scream escapes my lips, but the sound seems to get stuck in my throat, suffocated by the pain of seeing the scene in front of me.

If you want to believe it
In the Araça cemetery
There is a stone with your name
When we move, it is to die
And it also applies to you
You can forget about your pending issues

“You... you can't do this!” my words come out in a whisper, full of despair. Steel, with his disturbing smile, comes closer, as if he were enjoying my suffering.

“Oh, but I can, dear,” he answers in a soft, almost melodic voice, but with a tone that chills the spine. “And you will learn not to oppose what I want.”

The image of Klunk, now motionless, consumes me. I cannot let this happen. A fire of anger and helplessness begins to grow inside me. I move, but Steel blocks me with a gesture, as if I were just a child trying to escape a reprimand.

Dead, dead, dead
Why can't you see that you're already dead?
Two, ten, twenty years have passed
And you're the only one who hasn't noticed

"Do you really think I care about how you feel?" He laughs, a cold sound that echoes in my mind. "The only one who matters here is me, and you'll remember that."

With a quick blow, he throws Klunk aside as if he were a worthless object. My heart breaks when I see my friend falling to the ground, lifeless, while Steel turns to me, his eyes shining with satisfaction. "Now, about you... what to do with you, hmm?"

I feel a wave of despair and anger mixed together. "You'll pay for this, Steel! I swear!" My voice rises, and even though I know I'm at a disadvantage, something inside me refuses to submit.

"Oh, you're so adorable when you're angry," he comments, leaning forward. "But you don't understand, do you? You're trapped in this game, and I'm the only one who makes the rules."

Anger turns into fierce determination. I can't let Steel win. Never. With a quick movement, I throw myself towards Klunk, trying to feel his heart for some sign of life, but all I feel is the cold of death.
''klunk....'' tears overflow from my eyes, sobbing loudly, but before anything, Steel grabbed me and threw me to the ground, coming on top of me, ''oh doll... now that we have no more interruptions, let's play~'', Steel starts to kiss me forcefully, my lips hurt... but my mind was blank at the moment, everything passed like a blur, klunk was dead, kitty was dead, sensei was dead, my brothers left me, my friends left me.... they made me go through everything alone... I'm alone...

Dead, dead, dead
Why can't you see that you're already dead? Two, ten, twenty years have passed
And you're the only one who hasn't noticed...

Time passes and I don't even realize that Steel is already sneaking between my legs, already penetrating me, I don't even know if Steel is using any kind of protection, but I don't care anymore, nothing matters, Klunk is dead and it's my fault... I just want to die, but any form of thought is interrupted by a scream

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‘’MIKEY!!’’

Chapter Text

Pov: Nobody (I think?)

After hearing the scream, Steel looks to the side and sees three figures standing still, their shocked faces amused him, their faces pale with panic, they had masks of different colors, Steel already knew they were Michelle's brothers (Mikey), that amused him even more, he lets out a laugh as he sinks even deeper into the little one below, but the scream of pain makes the one with the red mask throw himself at Steel, throwing him against the wall, with no time to react, Steel doesn't even notice when two sais are stuck in his chest, stabbing him over and over again, the crimson blood staining the entire floor, his own face and the face of the one who killed him, while this brutal scene happened, the other two run to Mikey, their faces pale not knowing how to react to such a scene, they were processing everything they had just seen, the one dressed in purple cried while shaking, trying to communicate with Mikey, who heard nothing but buzzing. of statistics, looking at nothing with blurred vision, nothing around him mattered to him, the words that he was the culprit echoed like a broken tape that repeated itself over and over, after frozen moments, the one dressed in blue carries Mikey to the laboratory that was destroyed, he supposed it was because of the... man who was with Mikey, a fight maybe?, I couldn't help but notice the ice cream dirt on the floor, but soon returning to the mission itself, the one in blue (leo) tells the one in purple (don) to lift the bed that was on the floor, after doing so, he takes Mikey there, laying him down gently.

Pov: everyone

The air was heavy, dense, as if the atmosphere around Mikey was stuck to his lungs, preventing him from breathing freely. Leo, with shaking hands, adjusted Mikey's body on the bed, doing his best not to cause more pain to the little one. The silence was absolute, except for the echoes of the buzzing that still hammered in Mikey's mind, his vision blurred. Don, who was now at his side, watched with an expression of deep pain, as if it were impossible to comprehend what had just happened, but also unable to take his eyes off Mikey's suffering.

"He's not... He can't be...", Don murmured, his voice low and shaky, as if he was still trying to process the brutality of the scene they had just witnessed. Leo, however, was focused on Mikey, quickly checking his brother's vital signs, still unable to fully understand what was happening, but he knew that the priority now was to keep Mikey safe.

"Mikey, please answer," Leo begged, more to himself than to his brother, as he carefully adjusted the covers around Mikey, trying to warm the huddled body, but it seemed distant, almost as if it were somewhere else, somewhere Leo could not reach. The ringing in Mikey's ears intensified, mixed with an overwhelming pain in his chest. He wanted to speak, wanted to scream, but the words wouldn't come out. The words that he was to blame kept echoing, becoming a prison, a weight he couldn't shake.

Don walked over and, with hands still shaking, pulled out a chair to sit next to Mikey. His eyes were fixed on his brother, but his mind was elsewhere, lost in the storm of emotions that were raging through him. "I... I don't know what to do," he whispered. "I... I don't know if I can fix it."

The room was in ruins, pieces of broken equipment and shattered glass scattered across the floor, but none of that seemed to matter now. The destruction around him was only a reflection of what was happening inside Mikey, an incomprehensible chaos that seemed to swallow everything around him.

"I'll stay with you," Don said, his voice firmer now, as if a resolution was beginning to form. "We'll fix this, Mikey. No matter what happened. We'll find a way to fix it... forgive me..."

Leo didn't answer right away, but just stayed by Mikey's side, his hands on his brother's shoulders, trying to convey some form of comfort, of hope, even though he was completely lost. The silence persisted, heavy, but with a feeling that the fight was far from over. And, at that moment, whatever had happened.

Raph, who was covered in crimson red, sweating and breathing heavily, looks at Mikey on the bed, his vision that was red with anger, faded, he ran to Mikey.
"MIKEY!", but no answer came, tears fell from his red-stained face, blaming himself for having abandoned this family, for having walked away, they all did, they walked away because they couldn't bear Splinter's death, they walked away because they couldn't take care of each other... we are terrible brothers, that's for sure... but it still hurts to see the damage that Irresponsibility did. Raph, still panting and with tense muscles, sat down next to Mikey, his face contorted in pain. He felt a weight on his chest, as if he had beencrushed by his own regret. His breathing was ragged, his eyes fixed on his brother who, now more than ever, seemed distant, out of reach. The words Raph wanted to scream seemed stuck in his throat, as he observed Mikey's fragile body, immersed in a heavy silence.

"Mikey... please," he whispered, almost voiceless. His hand trembled as he touched his brother's arm, as if it were possible to transfer all the regret he felt through that touch. Tears flowed freely, mixing with the dirt on his face, the red of anger still staining his skin. But there was no more anger. There was no more room for it. All that remained was the pain, the anguish of knowing that, for some inexplicable reason, he had walked away. They had all walked away.

Raph leaned forward, his body bent by the guilt that consumed him. "We failed you, Mikey... we failed everyone... we failed as brothers," he murmured, the words coming out with an unbearable weight. Regret felt like a sharp blade, embedded deep in his chest. How could he have let this happen? How could he have been so blind to the suffering of others, so wrapped up in his own internal battles, without realizing what was happening around him?

The other two, Leo and Don, watched in silence, knowing that each of their feelings was equally tinged with guilt. But what Raph felt now was a silent fury against himself, an anger directed nowhere else but at himself. He knew he couldn't change the past, but he desperately wished he could.

The sound of his heavy breathing filled the space, but he couldn't take his eyes off Mikey, hoping, somehow, that his brother would respond, that he would move, that he would say something that could ease the pain he felt. But Mikey was immersed in his own abyss, and there were no words Raph could offer that would lift that weight from his conscience.

He raised one of his hands, placing it on Mikey's forehead, an attempt to reconnect, to bring his brother back from some distant place where he seemed to be trapped. "I'm here," he whispered fervently, "I won't leave you alone anymore. Not anymore." The sound of his own sobs seemed to echo in the empty room, and in that moment, the tears were no longer a sign of weakness, but of a desperate attempt to purge the pain that was eating away at him. The feeling of having failed, of having left Mikey, of having left everyone behind, consumed him completely. "I failed, but I'm going to fix this. No matter what it is, Mikey, I'm going to fix this," Raph said, more to himself than to his brother, as a promise, a last attempt to redeem himself, to reconstitute the broken pieces of that broken family.

To be continued;P

Chapter Text

POV: Donatello

Donnie was on his knees on the floor, covered in dust and debris from the lab that now looked like a pile of rubble. The last few years had been hard for everyone. The lab was in a deplorable state, the walls were cracked, the floor covered in broken parts and wires scattered everywhere. Everything he had designed with so much care years ago was now undone, and he felt the weight of it on his chest.

As he rearranged some of the parts that could be reused and some old notes he had left behind like a damn coward... Donnie's gaze drifted to the corner of the room. The security cameras were still installed, their presence discreet but essential. He had always been careful with the surveillance of his lab, monitoring everything that happened there. He hesitated for a moment, but soon made a decision. He needed to see the recordings. He needed to understand exactly what had happened here so that everything would stay in this state. Maybe if he understood what had happened he could find a way to prevent something so terrible from happening again.

Donnie approached the control table, where the monitors were connected, and pressed some buttons. The images began to appear one by one, revealing the moments that preceded the disaster. The first video to be shown was of Mikey entering the lab, visibly terrified, with a jar in his hands. He was agitated, pacing back and forth, banging his fists against the walls, while the jar lay on the floor, a pink substance could be seen, but it was difficult with the low quality of the camera. Donnie could see the signs of anguish on Mikey's face, but he knew there was something more behind it. Mikey never acted like this without a reason. There was something that bothered him deeply, something that he had not yet understood.

The images continued to show Mikey becoming increasingly out of control, panicked, his face pale. Donnie felt his stomach turn when he saw Mikey breaking equipment and destroying the inventions he had created. The monitoring screens shook with each impact, as if the lab itself was suffering from Mikey's fury. He knew Mikey had no control over it, but at the same time, something inside him kept him from feeling completely sympathetic. It was hard to forgive the destruction of something so precious to him.

Donnie continued to watch, his eyes fixed on the screen as Mikey, visibly disoriented, stopped abruptly in front of what appeared to be the jar lying on the floor. The sound of a low, muffled meow came from inside, making Donnie's heart start to beat faster. Mikey crouched down urgently, his shaking hands trying to grab the container. He lifted it carefully, but what Donnie saw next made his skin crawl: inside the jar, Ice Scream Kitty lay there, motionless, her eyes dull. The little being, normally so energetic and playful, now seemed a shadow of her former self.

Mikey, his eyes red from crying, turned the jar over in a hurry, trying to somehow revive the creature. He shook the container hard, calling for it, desperately. Donnie could feel his brother's distress with every movement, with every failed attempt. Mikey got up quickly, ran across the room and, with a trembling voice, shouted: "No, no no no no...!"

The next few minutes of the video showed Mikey going to the control panel, with an expression of pure anguish on his face. He pressed some buttons in a hurry, but soon the image on the screen became even darker. The lights in the laboratory began to flicker and, before Mikey could understand what was happening, the entire environment plunged into total darkness. The sound of alarms echoed through the room, but in the dim light, Mikey seemed even more confused, not knowing what to do.

It was at that moment that Donnie realized the truth. His chest tightened, and he felt a terrible weight building up inside him. He forced himself to keep watching the recording, trying to piece together what had happened.

The power... the power had gone out. Ice Cream Kitty's life support system relied on a constant electrical current, and with the blackout, the freezer had probably gone out. Donnie knew this better than anyone, he had set up the system himself. And then the guilt of it all fell like a crushing weight on his shoulders. He remembered the last changes he had made. He had been responsible for a security breach, and now a life was lost because of it. The failure of the backup system, the incorrect configuration for an emergency shutdown, all of it was linked to his negligence.

He closed his eyes, but the image of Mikey with the jar in his hand, desperate to save Ice Cream Kitty's life, wouldn't leave him. The meow still echoed in his mind, like a cruel reminder of his responsibility.

The impulsive brother, the brother who was always looking for fun, had no idea what had happened. He didn’t know that by destroying the lab in anger, by losing control, he had inadvertently caused the death of someone everyone there had grown to love.

Donnie felt his stomach churn. He couldn’t watch anymore. With a sudden movement, he turned off the monitors, the screen going black before him. He quickly got up from his chair and walked to the window, looking at the destroyed lab before him. What hurt him the most was not the destruction of the place, but the death of Ice Cream Kitty, something he himself could have prevented.

He could see Mikey there on the recording, still desperately trying to fix the mistake. Donnie knew he had tried, but deep down, it was too late. The damage was done. And it was all his fault. He was the one responsible for making sure the power was turned off. He was the one who set up the failsafe, which, when it failed, led to Ice Cream Kitty’s death. There was no excuse, there was nothing that could change this.

A tear ran down Donnie's face, but he quickly wiped it away. He had no time for regrets anymore. He had to do something. Mikey was broken, and so was he. The guilt could not be forgotten, but maybe, just maybe, there was a way to rebuild what was lost.

With shaking hands, Donnie picked up the old communicator he used to talk to others, feeling the weight of the decision in his hands. He wanted to somehow fix everything, but he knew that words would not be enough. Mikey was broken inside, and Donnie didn't know how he could help him deal with this guilt. How would he deal with his own?

And it was in that moment, with his gaze fixed on nothing, that Donnie made a silent decision. He couldn't change what had happened, but he had to be strong now. He had to help his brother deal with this pain. He had to find a way to prevent something like this from happening again. He couldn't go back, but he could learn from his mistake. Somehow, he had to do this, for Mikey, for Ice Cream Kitty, and for himself.

Chapter Text

POV: mikey

Mikey woke to chaos, his consciousness breaking through like a storm breaking through a heavy fog. Disorientation enveloped him like a suffocating shroud, obscuring his thoughts and memories. He blinked, trying to piece together the shards of reality that flickered in and out of focus. Everything felt wrong; the air was thick with an unsettling fog, and his body ached as if it had been trampled by a herd of wild horses.

As he struggled to sit up, Mikey winced against the sharp pains that shot through his muscles. The world around him was a kaleidoscope of swirling colors—blurs of green, blue, purple, and red danced teasingly at the edges of his vision. Amid the vibrant chaos, an ominous whisper echoed in his ears. The voices were muffled and distorted, overlapping one another like a cacophony of ghosts, calling out for something he couldn’t understand.

“Why am I here?” he muttered weakly, the question floating in the void around him, unanswered. All he could feel was a deep sense of loss, coupled with a savage resentment that clawed at his insides. Memories of the cat, Kunk, flashed before him like lightning in a dark sky—hints of laughter turning to screams, moments of joy turning to scenes of anguish. The wounds of betrayal cut deep; he hadn’t just lost his friend; he felt abandoned to navigate this hell alone.

It was then that he noticed them—the swirling colors converging closer, taking on more defined shapes. They began to solidify into figures he feared but yearned to confront. His brothers, their faces contorted in shades of regret and confusion, floated before him like specters from a nightmare.

“Why did you leave me??” Mikey screamed, his voice hoarse and raw, fueled by a seething rage that simmered beneath the surface. Every word was filled with pain, every syllable a dagger pointed at their hearts. His fists clenched involuntarily, his knuckles white against the dirt and grime that surrounded him. The very idea of ​​them showing up now, after everything, ignited a fierce rage. How could they abandon him to this torment? Mikey’s face flashed with a whirlwind of emotions. Rage, anguish, despair. “You leave me to suffer!” he howled, his breath coming in ragged bursts. “You leave me to drown in this darkness while you—” But before he could finish, the world tilted violently, the colors swirling faster, blurring into a chaotic maelstrom. Mikey’s heart raced in panic as he grabbed for something—anything—to steady himself against the tumult. But the world betrayed him, and he felt himself slipping, the grip of consciousness loosening like grains of sand slipping through his fingers.

In a final flash of clarity, he saw their faces, painted in desperate shades of blue, purple, red, and green. Their whispers grew louder, rising to a deafening roar, but he could not make out their words. A part of him yearned to hear them explain, to understand why they had left him to fall into that abyss alone. But the darkness was relentless, and with a final, gasping breath, Mikey succumbed to its grip.

As he fell into unconsciousness, the colors blurred and merged—no longer distinguishing between past and present, between anger and sadness. The last vestiges of his rage flickered like a dying candle, leaving only the haunting remnants of voices echoing in a void where hope had once blossomed.

* * *

When Mikey woke again, the silence was deafening. There were no more swirling colors, no more distorted whispers. The darkness enveloped him like a heavy cloak, but this time, there was no fog. He felt... strange. As if a part of him had been ripped away, left behind in the abyss where the echoes of his anger still reverberated. He was somewhere empty, where time seemed to not exist and space was a tight, cold prison. His hands were dirty, still marked by mud and pain, but what haunted him most was the feeling of loss. That immense void inside him that seemed irreparable. Something was missing. It wasn't just Kunk or Kitty, his friends, his confidant. It was something deeper, more primal. Something he couldn't name, but it consumed him. He tried to stand, but his body didn't respond the same way it had before. Every movement was painful, as if his flesh was slowly being torn apart. Mikey forced himself to stand, supporting himself with the palms of his hands on the cold, uneven surface where he stood. The place was dark and undefined, an endless expanse of shadows that seemed hollow, soulless.

What remained of his memories was fragmented, like a jigsaw puzzle, crooked and incomplete. He remembered his brothers, those His voice was distorted by anger and abandonment, and it made him wither inside. He wanted to understand them, to know why they had left, but the answers were elusive, like ghosts dancing at the edges of his vision. He felt lost, like a child left in a forest without a compass or a map.

And then, as if the shadows answered his despair, a voice whispered through the darkness.

"Mikey..."

The name sounded like a cold caress, like a wind that dragged through the ruins of his soul. He turned, but there was no one there. Only emptiness. But the voice was there again, a sweet, haunting whisper that seemed to come from every direction, as if the darkness itself was calling to him.

"Mikey, you are not alone." He swallowed hard, feeling the heat of anger begin to seep into his chest once more. "Who's there?" His voice sounded hoarse, broken, as if it had been torn from somewhere deep and far away. “You don’t understand, Mikey. You never understood…” The voice was softer this time, but there was something about it that made him shiver. “They couldn’t stay. They… they couldn’t save you.” Mikey’s eyes widened, his heart pounding faster. “Who? Who couldn’t save me?” He took a step toward the voice, but found nothing but thick shadows that seemed to swallow everything in their path. The darkness twisted, and he felt as if he were being swallowed by it, as if his own insecurities were consuming him. “You don’t understand,” the voice repeated, now with a sadness that was palpable, almost tangible. “Your fight wasn’t theirs. It was yours.” The pain in his head grew stronger. His thoughts tangled, jumbled, as if his own memories were disintegrating, shattering into smaller, sharper pieces. Mikey clung to one idea: what he was. What he wanted to be. “I can’t be here,” he whispered to himself, trying to shake off the feeling that he was a specter in his own nightmare.

But the voice wouldn’t leave him alone. “This is where you are, Mikey. Deep inside. Alone. And the only way out… is to face the darkness inside you.”

He fell to his knees, fighting the pain that seemed to emanate from his own body, as if the darkness were trying to tear him apart from the inside. What was he afraid of? What did he desire most? The answers lay in the darkness, but he was afraid to shine them.

“I… can’t…” he whispered, his words muffled by anguish. But the darkness wouldn’t leave him, and a sense of hopelessness invaded his mind, as if the darkness wasn’t just where he was, but also where he was hiding. He was there not because the world had thrown him into that abyss, but because he himself had allowed it.

“Look inside yourself,” the voice said again, this time with a more urgent and intense tone. “You are not alone. You never were.”

Mikey squeezed his eyes shut, feeling a wave of heat wash over his body, an invisible energy that seemed to push him out of the darkness. He didn’t know what to do with the words, or even the fear that accompanied them, but he knew that the only way out of this place was to face the echoes that still pulsed in his chest. The pain he felt was his own, but it was also the pain of everyone he loved.

And when he opened his eyes, Mikey found himself in front of a broken mirror.

And then he knew. He was trapped not only by betrayal and loss, but by his own inability to forgive himself.

The mirror before him did not reflect his image as he had expected. Instead, it was fragments, shards of broken glass that littered the floor like shards of a reality he could no longer comprehend. Each shard seemed to capture a different version of Mikey: one with his face distorted by rage, another with empty eyes, as if his soul had fled, and another smiling, but this smile was empty, a mask disguised as joy. He approached cautiously, feeling the cool surface of the glass scrape against his skin.

“Don’t you get it yet, Mikey?” The voice whispered again, this time clearer, more defined. It didn’t seem to come from anywhere, but it also seemed to be everywhere. As if it were a part of him, a part he had ignored for so long.

Mikey reached out, touching one of the shards in the mirror. The glass shattered beneath his fingers, but instead of blood, what came out was a flickering light, a golden haze that spread across the floor, illuminating the shadowy surroundings. He recoiled, but the light didn’t blind him, didn’t burn him. It seemed to invite him, as if to say he had reached the edge of something, something that the mirror before him did not reflect his image as he had expected. Instead, it was fragments, shards of broken glass that littered the floor like shards of a reality he could no longer comprehend. Each shard seemed to capture a different version of Mikey: one with A face distorted by anger, another with empty eyes, as if his soul had fled, and yet another smiling, but this smile was empty, a mask disguised as joy. He approached cautiously, feeling the cold surface of the glass scrape against his skin.

“Don’t you get it yet, Mikey?” The voice whispered again, this time clearer, more defined. It didn’t seem to come from anywhere, but it also seemed to be everywhere. As if it were a part of him, a part of him that he had ignored for so long.

Mikey reached out, touching one of the shards of the mirror. The glass shattered beneath his fingers, but instead of blood, what flowed was a flickering light, a golden haze that spread across the floor, illuminating the shadowy room around him. He jerked away, but the light didn’t blind him, didn’t burn him. It seemed to invite him, as if to say that he had reached the edge of something, something he feared but had to face. He looked at the shards of glass and for the first time realized what they were reflecting. It wasn’t just the fragments of his own face, but also the images of his brothers. Mikey saw them there, in those small broken surfaces: Kunk with his distant gaze, his brothers with their faces curved in guilt and pain. And finally, his own figure, looking at them with a mixture of hopelessness and anger, as if trying to understand where it all went wrong. “Why did they leave me?” Mikey whispered, his teeth clenched. The weight of those words crushed him, the truth he was afraid to face. But something inside him, something dark and deep, told him he couldn’t keep running from it.

to be continued......

Chapter Text

Who would have thought, right? That I'd be back, how ironic, but well, I haven't given up on the story! And even better, it already has an ending (I mean, it's already decided on the number of chapters), I'm doing a remake! It's been a while since I started, but I haven't given up on the fanfic! I've already improved the first chapter, now I just need to do the rest XD