Chapter Text
Jason felt… terrible. He stood over his little brother Tim who was at this moment literally vibrating with fear, cast over him was Jason’s shadow. He had nearly snapped the poor kid’s neck while he was raging. And once he starts raging, it’s hard to stop.
But he did. He stopped. Why?
Something wriggled around in his hands. He glanced down and saw a little boy, probably two years old, in his arms. Oh. That’s right. The more helpless something he’s holding is, the less he feels like raging. And right now, that little boy was entirely helpless.
Jason stepped away from Tim, not even glancing at the vibrating teen. He glanced around at his comrades, a question bubbling to his chest.
“Who’s the kid?” Jason asked, holding the baby closer to himself instinctively.
“Wow, I can’t believe that actually worked,” Dick said, running his fingers through his dark hair.
Bruce stepped forward, “It’s just a hologram,” he pushed a button on a massive machine near the a wall of the bat cave, shutting off the projection. The image flickered and disappeared.
“…What? Why?” Jason asked, dropping his arms to his side, rather bewildered.
“Well, Little Wing,” Dick began, “We’ve noticed how protective you are of babies so… we thought it might stop your raging if you held one… and boom! Would you look at that? It did!”
“Strange,” Jason said.
Bruce cleared his throat.
Jason huffed, then turned around offering his hand to Tim. He took it and was yeeted to his feet at break neck speed. He stood there for a moment, trying to calm down his shaking.
“Sorry for all that,” Jason said half heartedly.
“A-all good,” Tim said, giving a weak smile.
“How’s that, old man? Happy?” Jason asked.
Bruce just grunted. Of course he would. That’s all he ever does anyway.
“So… every time I rage, you’re just gonna put a holographic baby in my arms?” Jason asked.
“Unfortunately, it wouldn’t work. The holograph projector is massive and we can’t just lug it around everywhere,” Bruce stated, “but… I think I have an idea that just might work…”
***
Moments later, The whole gang was down in the bat cave. The whole gang minus Jason. (He was off being mad at Bruce for who knew what reason.) Dick, Tim, and Damian stoop in front of Bruce, expectantly waiting to hear the reason why they were called.
“B, what’s this about?” Tim asked, “I have a WE appointment I’m missing for this.”
“Trust me, Tim, this is important,” Bruce stated, “Remember our recent discovery about Jason and um… babies?”
“You mean the part about when Jay’s holding an infant, all his pit rage just sorta… poofs!?” Dick asked, using extravagant hand motions.
“Yeah. See, I found a simple way to make sure we always have a baby on hand without having to adopt another kid and putting an actual baby in potential danger.”
Dick nudged Tim, “Not sure if he’s happy, or sad about the ‘not having to adopt new baby’ part.”
Tim stifled a giggle as Bruce rolled his eyes.
“How, Father? Do not leave us in suspense,” Damian said, crossing his arms.
“With this,” He took a small laser gun from behind his back.
“…and… what is that?” Tim asked, pointing at it.
“I’ll demonstrate. But I’ll need a volunteer,” Bruce stated.
Silence.
“Or I could just tell you,” Bruce said, “It turns whoever I point the gun at into a baby.”
Once those words were uttered, everyone hid. Damian squeezed himself into the vent system, Tim closed himself up inside the Batmobile and Dick somehow ended up on the roof of the cave.
“I almost volunteered, but now I’m very glad I didn’t,” Dick stated from above with a. Wary look.
Bruce chuckled, lowering the gun and putting it away. His children then filed out of their hiding places and gathered around him again.
“Father, is that object even safe?” Damian said.
“Did you even test it out on someone?” Tim asked.
“Yes, it’s been tested and found to be completely safe. The effects wear off after about twenty four hours,” Bruce informed.
Dick smiled, “Who did you test it on and did you get any photos?”
“I’m not telling and no I didn’t take any photos,” Bruce replied.
Alfred leaned towards Dick and whispered in his ear, “However, I got photos.”
“Alfred,” Bruce sighed.
Alfred straightened, a smile playing at his lips. Dick leaned in, whispering also.
“Send me all of those photos.”
“Of course, Master Richard.”
Bruce huffed.
“So what’s your plan with that?” Tim asked, “Are you just gonna zap random people with it whenever Jason needs someone to cuddle in order to calm down?”
“Not exactly,” Bruce said, “We will have a regular schedule of who is zapped. Dick will be zapped first, then Damian. And then it will loop.”
“What?”
“Outrageous!”
“Sorry boys, but it’s for everyone’s safety. And it only lasts for a day,” Bruce said, “It’s not up for debate.”
“Well what about Drake?” Damian asked, “Why doesn’t he have to get zapped?”
“He has… trauma concerning Jason and being… well… small,” Bruce replied.
“…okay, that checks out,” Dick said.
“So… is that everything? I’ve got a meeting to go to,” Tim stated.
“I’m, I guess that’s it-“
“Great, see ya!” With that, Tim dashed away.
Bruce glanced at his remaining boys, ”I appreciate you two doing this for Jason’s… well, it’s actually more like for Tim’s sake.”
“Whatever keeps the baby bird safe,” Dick states.
“You did not give us much of a choice, Father.”
“That was the idea.”
***
Dick watched as the fight dissolved into many handcuffed traffickers and scouting vigilantes. He was glad the fight was basically over. He was so tired. All he wanted to do was sink to the floor and fall asleep. But that would have to wait. Jason was raging, and Dick would have to try to restrain him to keep him from killing a man. He was relentlessly punching said man in the face. He had whitenessed this person harm a kid a few moments earlier and it had sent Jason overboard.
Dick was hopping to get to Jason and calm him down before Bruce used his de age ray gun on him. But before Dick could reach Jason, he was hit with it. With a flash of yellow light, he felt an odd sorta floppy feeling in his stomach. When he light and this feeling subsided, he found himself on the floor in a puddle of his Nightwing suit. He was now in a simple black onesie with a tiny blue stripe on the front of it. Great.
He lifted his hands in front of his face and found them small and pudgy. Feeling his face and found that his cheeks had become fuller and his nose was just a tiny little thing.
Before he could get his bearings, he was scooped up into Bruce’s arms and yeeted through the air. Dick went flying towards Jason who caught him, one hand hanging onto the guy he was punching, the other grasping the back end of Dick, holding him upright. Jason’s eyes were still trained on the man he was planning on murdering. Dick had to act fast. So he let out a little whine that sounded absolutely pathetic. Jason immediately turned his head to look at his big (little?) brother. Then he dropped the guy he was punching and held tiny baby Dick close to his chest. Dick was sure if he could see through Jason’s mask, he’d see the green in his little (big?) brother’s eyes depart and leave crystal clear blue eyes.
“…What?” Jason said, looking from Dick to Bruce, “What’s this? Whose baby?”
“It’s mine,” Bruce replied.
Both Dick and Jason were shocked at this answer.
“What?” Jason said again.
“‘S me Di’, lil’ wing,” Dick said, then clamped a hand over his mouth.
Goodness his voice was so high. His speech wasn’t very good either. Oh. Shoot. Could he put up with this for twenty four hours? …Maybe?
“D-dick?” Jason asked, holding him by his armpits at arms length.
Dick nodded.
“What is this?” Jason asked, turning Dick around in his arms.
“We‘ll explain in the car,” Bruce said, coming over and ruffling Dick’s hair.
“Oh my gosh he’s so cute!” Tim exclaimed as he hurried over and snapped photos.
Jason, finding himself the center of the photos because of the little bundle in his arms, passed the baby over to Bruce, “Take it.”
Dick was a little sad to have to leave Jason, but he also liked being all snuggled up to Bruce. He clung tight to the bat suit as they headed back to the Batmobile. Everyone clamored in, Jason calling shot gun, then giving it up when Bruce stated that whoever rode shot gun had to hold baby Dick. Tim jumped at the chance to ride shot gun when both of his more violent brothers chose against sitting there. After he sat down, Bruce put Dick into Tim’s arms. Tim looked down, not sure what the best course of action would be. However, Dick knew what it would be. He wrapped his little arms as far around Tim as he could manage, then he snuggled his head into Tim’s front, letting out a content sigh. Tim stared down at the little guy, unsure of what to do. Then he hesitantly put his arms around his tiny brother and patted his back. Dick just smiled and hummed as the Batmobile sped away.
“…Am I the only person here that’s concerned that Dick is a f- …freaking child?” Jason asked from the backseat.
“Yeah, where’ve you been?” Tim asked.
“We have planned this out in advance, Todd.”
“Crazy. You guys are all f- freakin’ crazy!” Jason stated, trying not to swear in front of the kid.
Dick smiled, happy to be the cause of Jason’s lack of use of bad words. He wondered if when they got home the swear jar would remain empty. Or… maybe just a little less full than usual.
“So… are we gonna put Dick back to normal when we get to the manor?” Jason asked.
“It doesn’t work that way,” Tim said, “The effects wear off after twenty four hours, so he’ll be like this for a bit.”
“… k, just don’t get that ray gun anywhere near me, got it?” Jason stated.
Immediately, every bat family member began picturing a baby Jason, scowling while being coddled.
“Why no’?” Dick asked, lifting his head from Tim’s front, “You ge’ cuddles like dis!”
“Do I look like I want cuddles?” Jason asked.
“No,” Dick stated, “Bu’ you need dem anyway.”
“Whatever,” Jason said, crossing his arms and staring daggers out the window.
“I’d be happy to give dem to you!” Dick said, peeking over Tim’s shoulder to grin at Jason.
“Hmph,” Jason glared, still looking out the window.
“P’ease? I wan’ lil’ wing cuddles!” Dick said, bouncing on Tim’s lap.
Jason chuckled, “I don’t think you kept your right to call me little wing. But I think I just gained the right to call you little wing.”
Dick blinked, then pouted, “Bu’ i’s your name! No’ mine!”
“Don’t care,” Jason replied.
Dick huffed, “Jerkish lil’ wing.”
Jay scoffed, “How dare-“
“Boys,” Bruce said from the driver’s seat, pinching the bridge of his nose with one hand and steering the batmobile with the other, “Inside voices please.”
“That was my inside voice!” Jason stared, “Wanna hear my outside voice?”
Silence.
“…I’d still like lil’ wing cuddles p’ease,” Dick stated.
“Well you don’t get any.”
Dick pouted, then put on a serious face, “I will ge’ some. Efe-eventlu-event. Ual. Ly.”
“What was that, little wing? I’m having a hard time understanding what you’re saying,” Jason said.
Dick huffed.