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Toya stood before his enemy, giving his strongest, most terrifying glare. He could win. He could do this. Today, Toya Aoyagi was going to do the impossible. His entire life had been the buildup for this moment, the moment where he finally did this.
Today, Toya was going to make gay cupcakes.
How did I get here? Toya thought, sadly staring down at the ingredients he had tried his very best to procure. He had already won this battle before, when he had made Tsukasa and Saki cupcakes for that party. But here he was, ready for round two. It had all started last week, when Akito had finally decided to admit what he was. Apparently he could only pine over Toya for so long before he gave in. Akito’s record was three years, which was very impressive, even if Toya was a bit sad he had been left hanging for three years. As soon as An had heard, she had proposed a coming out party for everyone’s favorite gay ginger. She had originally meant to keep the party small, just VBS and Ena, but when Ena was invited, she brought Mizuki, who brought Kanade, Mafuyu, and Rui. Rui brought Nene, Tsukasa and Emu. Tsukasa brought Saki, who brought her girlfriends. So, it wasn’t a small party at all. In fact, it was a bit large. Toya didn’t mind though. He liked things lively. The problem was that as Akito’s new boyfriend, he was responsible for the cupcakes. He had been given one directive from An.
Make it gayer than Akito.
That was very hard, as Akito was very gay. How can cupcakes be gay? Toya didn’t think that cupcakes felt sexual desire. He didn’t want to judge the cupcakes though. Maybe this was his prejudices showing? Toya decided to save that conundrum for later. He had a different affair at the moment.
Toya picked up the box cake. He had really wanted to use not-box cake, but he needed to know his limits. It was a skill his dad hadn’t bothered to teach him. Toya was a little proud of himself for his personal growth. Just a little. He poured his confetti cake mixture into a big bowl. He had chosen confetti cake because it was colorful. Just like what happens when Toya and his friends stand near each other. If they all went on stage, Toya supposed he could call it a colorful stage. Toya imagined a little ba-dum-cha following up that line, although he couldn’t figure out why. Maybe Miku could join, and bring the sekai to the stage! Then it would be Project Sekai Colorful Stage ft. Hatsune Miku ! Toya then added some milk and eggs. Eggs were an enemy of his, he remembered when he had made eggs with Akito and nearly killed Ena. When he had gone to remove the burnt parts from the egg, it had disintegrated. That was, as Kohane had put it, a common Toya L. He was not about to repeat history. He cracked the egg with surgical precision, his eyes baring into the egg so hard he could swear he saw it blush. Just like Akito when he saw Chris Pratt. Or when he saw any attractive man, honestly. Akito was very fruity. The realization hit Toya like Akito’s punch after Toya had called their music meaningless. Akito was fruity. Fruit was a flavor. Toya was making gay cupcakes. A pun began to construct itself in Toya’s mind. Fruit is fruity. Gay is fruity. Akito is gay. He made that one face from the meme with the shocked guy with his hands beyond his head, but less intense since he’s Toya after all. He checked his fridge for the goods, and was frazzled. He closed the door, then opened it again. He couldn’t believe it. His father somehow didn’t own a single piece of the fruity goodness. It was probably because he was homophobic. At least he was true to his principles, unlike Toya, who lacked conviction and was half baked. This time, he wasn’t going to have a flimsy will. He was getting that fruit if it killed him.
He ran out of his purgatory ass house into the traffic, narrowly avoiding ending up like the gay cupcake version of Sousuke Mitsuba from the hit manga series Toilet Bound Hanako-Kun. He ran up to the nearest car, glaring at the driver through the windshield, holding out one of the wipers to stop it from getting in the way of his conversation with the driver. He was just going to ask very nicely if he could use the car. The guy was obviously terrified, and Toya forced out a smile that ended up looking like a smirk.
“Excuse me sir, may I please borrow this vehicle?” Toya said, giving him a look straight out of John Wick. The guy jumped out of the car and ran off across the street while begging for his life. Toya wondered what scared him. Well, it wasn’t his problem. He climbed in, thanking his lucky stars that the guy had left his keys in. How kind of him. He drove off to the nearest grocery store. It wasn’t that far, but Toya didn’t have time to walk. He was a man on a mission. Toya swerved into the parking lot, somehow managing a perfect park. He stepped out of the car with his hands in the pockets of his black coat like a really cool guy as he strutted towards the store. He was getting stares from girls and gays. It was probably because he sucked. Just like Toya’s father had said. He walked through the automatic doors and beelined to the fruit section. He looked over the selection. First, he needed some oranges to represent Akito’s ginger hair, and a banana to represent his one blonde streak. He grabbed some blueberries that looked kind of like his head and some strawberries because Ena had an obsession. He also got cherries because An had told him that lesbians and cherries are intrinsically connected. With his fruity bounty in hand, he made his way towards the cash. He reached in his pocket for his father’s credit card, only to find nothing. Shit. At this point, Toya had two options. Option A: Abide by the law and go home empty-handed to make lackluster cupcakes. Option B: Steal the fruit and make some sick-ass gay cupcakes. It wasn’t even a decision. Toya had decided earlier, when he had set out on this quest, that he would pull out all the stops. The law wouldn’t stop him. Money wouldn’t stop him. Not even his father could stop him. Toya Aoyagi had set his mind on fruit, so he was getting fruit.
Even if it killed him.
Toya knew two things about the local supermarket. First off, the front doors had those sensor thingies, so getting out the front was near impossible. Number two, the place was across the street from the police station. So he had to be very cautious. One wrong move and his hands were in cuffs when they should be in the bag of fruit choosing which type to put on each cupcake. He analyzed his surroundings. He was in the fruit section, which was rather crowded. To his left were the other aisles, all of which were visible from the fruit section. The whole place seemed to have security cameras, but there must be blind spots. Toya had read a lot of true crime, so he knew what got a guy caught. He just didn’t need to do those things. He glanced off to his side, and he saw it. The employee-only area. He had an idea.
Toya stood at the edge of the dairy aisle. Some quick math had shown him that this was one of the few places that was invisible to almost everyone, including the cameras. Also, no one went to this corner as it only sold knock off margarine and that god-awful molded cheese that his father liked for some reason. Toya looked down the aisle he stood at the edge of, taking in the employee that was stocking shelves a few meters away.
“Excuse me, I’m sorry to bother you, but can you come here for a minute.” Toya called out to him.
“Alright, I’m on my way sir!” The guy called out in a boisterous voice as he turned around. His voice was familiar. When his eyes met Toya’s, he gasped. The guy stocking shelves smiled at him.
“OH, Toya! I didn’t realize you were here!” Tsukasa said as he approached him. Toya was frazzled.
“Tsukasa-Senpai. I didn’t know you worked here.” Toya said, trying to hide his racing thoughts. He needed that fruit, but he hadn’t intended on seeing anyone he knew here. Should he continue the plan? Did he really want to do this to Tsukasa, who was basically his brother? He couldn’t afford to find a new employee!
“Well, I just started today! I needed to save up for something, so I got a bunch of part-time jobs!”
“Wow, that’s admirable. You have a good work ethic.” Toya was going to implode. What could he do? He had originally intended to beat up an employee and use their uniform to pretend to be a new hire. Then, he’d break into the back room and run out the back door while no one was looking. Toya looked Tsukasa up and down, taking in his gleaming smile. He couldn’t hurt his own family. Even if his morals went out the window when it was fruit time, this was too much.
“Give me your shirt.” Toya said, pointing at Tsukasa’s uniform shirt. He could try to do this without beating the shit out of his brother. Tsukasa looked rightfully confused.
“No offense, Toya, but why would you want my shirt? Have you taken your meds today?”
“This isn’t about my meds.” Toya was sick and tired of people asking him to take his meds. So what if they were concerned for his mental health? Toya didn’t need a pill to reduce his symptoms of various mental illnesses. “This is a matter of life and death. Of resolve. Now, may I have your shirt?”
Tsukasa gave him a concerned look, then smiled.
“I get it, Toya!! You are on a very important quest, is that right? Well, as your older brother, I will help you!” He ripped off his uniform and pressed it into Toya’s hands. “Go on, my dearest brother! Achieve what you wish to achieve!”. Toya could feel a tear welling up in the corner of his eye. He was so inspired.
“Thank you, Tsukasa-Senpai.” Toya gave him a slight smile as he pulled on the shirt and made his way away from the aisle. Tsukasa waved to him in all his shirtless glory, and Toya internally commended his sacrifice. Once he was out of Tsukasa’s view, he sprinted towards the employee only area. This was it.
The area was surprisingly empty. Toya guessed that the employees must be out doing work. It didn’t really matter to him. All that mattered was that no one was there to stop him. Toya looked down at his bounty with pure joy. He had done it! He sort-of kinda barely skipped out the door since he’s Toya and can’t show emotion. He made his way out the door, smiling as he saw the light… of the police cars. Fuck.
Toya was thoroughly surrounded by two police cars and four officers. He had known this moment may come since he had decided that the law was a question and the answer was no. It was still a surprise though. Behind them was the guy he had taken the car from. Damn, Toya thought the guy had been fine with him borrowing the car. Well, he seemed a little scared… The realization hit toya like a bag of beans. The guy had interpreted their conversation as Toya hijacking his car! Toya cursed his lack of social awareness.
“Toya Aoyagi, you are being arrested for motor vehicle theft. Put your hands in the air.” The officer cried out. The police officer seemed on edge. Was he scared?
Toya put his hands in the air. What should he do? He could get arrested, but then he wouldn’t be able to finish his gay cupcakes! Also his dad would gut him. He could run, but would that make things worse? He hates running anyway. Toya had promised he wouldn’t run. So, he approached the police.
“I surrender. I don’t like running.” Toya said. He knew what he needed to do. He had promised himself that he wouldn’t give up his fruits, his cupcakes, for the world. So, as the police put the cuff over one of his hands, he swung at his face with the other. The guy fell to the floor as Toya whipped around, using the other end of the handcuff like a makeshift nunchuk to knock out the second officer. He ran through the opening he had made in their defense, pushing aside the third officer. He pulled open the door to the cop car. It had the keys in it, which was some sick-ass luck. He revved up the engine as the two remaining officers scrambled to get in. He slammed the door in their face as he kicked down on the pedal with all his force. The car sped out of the parking lot, leaving the police to run for the remaining car. By the time they made it in, Toya was swerving down the road. He was surprised his semi-athletic self could pull that off. He was quite proud. One glance at the rearview mirror told him he couldn’t be proud yet. The cops were behind him, and they were gaining fast. Toya sped up, searching his brain for a way to lose them. What could he do? Then, an idea hit him like his dad when he didn’t play the piano fast enough. It was risky, but he was being chased by the cops so honestly what wasn’t.
Toya had been driving at top speed for about two minutes when he reached his destination. The nearest river. The police were a bit behind, so he had almost a minute before the cops could see him. It was all the time he needed. He stared off the edge, reconsidering his life choices. The ledge was higher than he had remembered. Akito’s voice rang in his head.
Bro, you need to have resolve, man.
Akito was right! Toya needed to have resolve! So, after checking that the cops couldn’t see him, he opened the door wide and hit the gas pedal. The car rolled towards the river, and Toya swore his heart stopped. Nope, now was not time for fear. As soon as the car was rolling off the ledge, Toya jumped out. He felt the wind against his face for just a moment before he hit the ground hard. He shouldn’t have jumped onto the pavement. Toya pushed the pain aside, he only had a few seconds left before the police came. He got up and bolted away to find somewhere to hide, not bothering to look as the car fell into the river. He turned into a street that was away from where the police would end up. There was a mall down that road, one that had a good view of the river. He had gone there with Akito back when they had first started dating. The place had good coffee, and Akito had wanted to look out onto the city as they drank it. Toya was firmly against it, and had frozen up as they stood before the big second story window and taken in the river. It was so high up. Toya reached his destination, throwing open the doors and sprinting to the stairs. He weaved through the confused crowd as he made his way to the second floor. He pulled up his coat hood as he reached his destination, just for insurance. One very brave peek through the window confirmed that his plan had worked. The police looked positively frazzled that Toya had driven into the river. It was a perfect distraction. And so, fruit in hand, Toya turned around and began his walk home.
Toya stepped back into his shitty house, stopping to hang his coat before making his way back to the kitchen. He was ready to resume the real challenge. Gay cupcakes. He had almost finished the batter before he left on his side quest, so he managed to wrap that up pretty quick. He poured his mostly-clumpless batter into the muffin pan, trying his best to make them even. Sure, one of them overflowed, but it was fine. Probably. He slid the cupcakes into the oven, brushing his arm across the oven rack. Shit! Toya ran his burn under cold water. It hurt, but Toya was used to the pain. After getting over that hiccup, he turned to his icing. He had every color of the rainbow, just like Akito’s sexuality! Yay! Toya had planned to make a cupcake specifically for each of his fruity friends, so he needed a variety. His friends were so fruity. Toya felt lucky to have friends like them.
Toya’s thoughts were interrupted by the blaring alarm. He peeked into the oven. Yup, nice and golden brown. Toya could cry. The cupcakes looked so good. Was Toya leveling up? This must be what Akito meant by resolve. To never give up and grow into the best emo split hair he could be! He pulled the cupcakes out of the oven, only burning most of his body in the process. At least his head was good. If it wasn’t he would really become blue Todoroki. That would suck. Toya needed to cling to the little individuality he had. As he waited for the cupcakes to cool, he had learned his lesson about frosting them right away last time, so he pulled out his phone. Since Toya was boring, he opened the news app.
VBS’ Toya Aoyagi Jumped into River After Being Arrested for Car Theft and Assaulting an Officer
Toya closed the news app. He decided he would rather play Flappy Bird. Toya was very good at Flappy Bird. He had fast fingers and liked birds. He was only one match deep when his phone blew up. No, not literally. He just got a trillion texts from the ginger. Most of them were something along the lines of OMG BRO WTF ARE YOU OKAY R U DEAD WHAT DO U WANT ME TO PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL MAN I KNOW I DIDN’T SHOW YOU ENOUGH BUT I LOVE YOU MAN. Akito was clearly overreacting. He lacked faith in Toya’s police evasion skills. Plus, Toya would never kill himself by jumping into a river. He was scared of heights!
I am alright, Akito. Don’t worry, I am making your cupcakes. Toya replied in his usual rapidfire text. Akito’s reply was immediate.
MAN UR ALIVE OMG I WAS SO SCARED BRO WHAT HAPPenD MAN? TOYA?
Toya checked the time. Oh! The cupcakes were cooled. He went to ice them. He had to do this quickly after all! Akito’s party was soon! He’d answer Akito’s text later. He had business at the moment. He silenced his vibrating and ringing phone in order to focus on his gay cupcakes. He needed to get this right!
Toya decided to start with a cupcake for his ginger. It was his party after all! He iced it with the gay flag, then glanced at his supply of fruity fruits. Akito was obnoxiously ginger, so he put some oranges. He even put a bit of banana for his little streak. It was Akito as a cupcake. He was filled with pride. Toya imagined another ba-dum-cha after that thought. He was really punny today. Next up was An’s.Since you can’t spell lesbian without An, Toya lesbian-ed the cupcake. He even put An’s cherries on because she had said cherries were lesbian. Toya still couldn’t figure that one out. He also put on blueberries since An liked blue. Now, onto the next one.
It took Toya a while and a couple flubs, but he was done. He had never been so happy with himself. He took in his handiwork. A bi cupcake with cherries and strawberries for Kohane. A pan one with the same for Ena. He had made a question mark with all the fruit for Mizuki since they were an enigma. He made a gay one with blueberries and cherries for Rui, a bi one with banana and strawberry for Tsukasa, and an ace one with everything for Emu. He made Saki a lesbian one with strawberries and blueberries, Ichika a pan one with blueberries and cherries, Shiho a bi one with banana and blueberries, and Honami a lesbian one with banana and orange. He cursed himself for forgetting to get apples, but since he was a wanted man he couldn’t go get them. He hoped Honami could forgive him. He made Nene a bi one with blueberries and oranges, Mafuyu a lesbian one with blueberries and oranges, and Kanade a lesbian one with the same. He once again cursed his lack of apples. He had one job.
There was one more left. Toya smiled at his own gay blueberry cupcake. He had done a thing! Now he just had to show it to his friends! They would be so excited to see him and his cupcakes. His hard work would pay off.
“TOOOOOOYAAAAAA!” Akito called as Toya stepped into Weekend Garage. He lept at his man, tears in his eyes.
“Akito, be careful. I may drop my masterpiece.” Toya said as he put down the cupcakes on the counter.
“Dude, why didn’t you reply? I thought the cops got you.” Akito was hugging Toya. Like, really hugging him. Had Toya scared the ginger? He had told him that he was okay.
“I needed to focus on my work.”
“WHAT? DUDE, I CARE ABOUT YOU MORE THAT SOME FUCKING CUPCAKES!”
“But they’re pretty. Look, your cupcake has your hair color.” Toya went to take the cupcake, when he heard a scream. Actually, it was a few screams.
“TOOOYAA!”
“AOYAGI YOU’RE ALIVE?”
“WHY DID YOU MAKE ME AN ACCOMPLICE?!”
Toya turned around to see his friends, who were very freaked out by Toya’s not dead-ness. He had told Akito he was fine. What were they even freaking out about? Toya wouldn’t be that scared. Kohane ran up to him, her little hamster face in tears.
“Aoyagi-Kun, we thought you had died!” She took his hands in hers. “Why would you do this?”. An grabbed his other hand before he could respond.
“TOYA WHAT THE FUCK! I TOLD YOU TO FOLLOW THE LAW!” Toya frowned. He turned around and held up a cupcake.
“I needed fruit for these.”
The room went quiet. Toya stood there with his cupcake and his criminal record in total silence. This went on for an excruciatingly long time. Toya was the one to break the silence.
“Homies, do you want a gay cupcake?”