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1: mopping the pool
“Please tell me you're joking. How would that even work?!”
“Well Tim, if you must know,” Grian swings the dirty mop down on the head of some thug. “You take a mop and you mop up the water in the pool,” a swipe at another's legs sends them toppling. “Hence, mopping the pool.” A simple punch to another face knocking out his last attacker.
“Grian. If you don't get over here right. Now. I am going to put dirty mop water in your pool.”
“Timmy, we don't own a pool.”
A long agitated Scream is his only response.
2: painting the roof
“Grian, for what reason would anyone think ‘oh I should paint the roof today?” Grian can hear Timmy rubbing his eyes over the phone.
Painting the roof. Yep that is what I'm doing. With my blood.
“Well I was walking out the house- I left at a reasonable time Timmy- I saw the roof and thought ‘wow, our roof sure could use a new coat of paint’ so I started painting.”
And by roof he means drug deal, paint is blood and 'our roof could use a new coat of paint' is 'I have to break up a drug deal'.
“Grian! You stopped to paint a roof!?”
“Yep.”
There's a bunch of incomprehensible yelling from Timmy before it fades away. “Grian, I think you should wrap up what you're doing before I have to throw Jimmy out.” Looks like Joel took the phone.
“I'll make it in time, don't worry.” He laughs and hangs up. He's dizzy and probably has a minor concussion and a little stab wound but he's fine.
Just five more minutes.
Ten minutes later he's got a hello kitty bandaid on his forehead and bandages wrapped around his stab wound and off to Lizzie and Joel's bakery.
When Timmy asks why he has a bandaid on his head he says he hit his head on his way off the roof.
3: bathing the chickens
“What chickens!? We don't have any chickens!” Timmy yells into the phone. Grian pulls it away with a wince and kicks a mugger.
“Well now we do.” Grian dodges a punch but not a kick to the shin. “And they're not being very cooperative.”
“You've known about this for weeks! I've reminded you! Why would you think it was a good idea to do this now!? Where did you even get the chickens?!” Grian swings a metal pole he found in the alley into a stomach. “Well, they really needed a bath Tim.”
“Grian!” He punches one guy in the face and he hits the other mugger with the butt of his gun and they both go down. “It's fine. I'll be there soon.”
“Chickens don't even ne-” Grian hangs up.
He huffs and straightens up with a groan. Yeah that's going to leave a bruise.
He gives a half-hearted kick at one of the muggers, uncooperative chickens alright. Grian spreads his wings and takes off.
4: polishing the silverware
“There's no way you are polishing the silverware.” Timmy says exasperated into the phone. Grian just knows he's throwing his arm in the air dramatically.
“Well,” he starts, pausing as he dodges one of Hotguy's arrows. “I was getting a snack and when I reached for a fork,” Grian takes a sharp corner hoping to lose the hero. “I looked like it needed to be polished.”
Across the line he hears his brother groan long and exasperated. “Why?”
Grian watches Hotguy fly past his hiding spot. “Well I don't think planning on an empty stomach is good and I wasn't going to use tarnished silverware to eat.”
“That's it. I give up.” Tim says. “Look what you've made me, a quitter.”
Grian can't help but laugh. “Aw, Tim don't worry, I'm almost done.”
Unfortunately his laughter seems to have given away his position to his tail. Damn.
“Actually I found more silverware, this may take a while.”
“Grian!”
5: sorting the pens
“How many pens could you possibly have that you need to sort them?”
Honestly, Grian had actually double booked himself. Today he's doing recon but he's also supposed to meet up with Timmy. Oops.
“Quite a bit, surprisingly.” He says quietly. “I have the ones I use for grading, the ones I used for writing, the ones I accidentally steal from work and the ones I purposely steal from you.”
He may not be sorting his pens but it's not a lie.
“Is that where all my pens keep going?!” Tim shouts into the speaker.
Grian cringes as guns start going off below him. Aimed at him.
Dang it Timmy.
“Grian? What's that noise?”
“I fell down the stairs and dropped my pens.” Grian answers. “looks like I need to reorganize them.”
He hangs up before Tim can yell his name.
+1: stopping a mugging
Considering how often he gets concussions, Grian thinks he'd be better at this. This being coming up with a convincing excuse for his brother.
He really needs to come up with something fast and there's nothing coming to mind.
“Grian!” He winces. Why does Timmy need to be so loud, his ear is literally right next to the speaker. “Tim, mind quieting down?” He asks.
“You are a half an hour late! Where are you?!” Guess that's a no.
Excuse, excuse, why can't he think of any excuses? “Well I just finished up stopping a mugging.” He says before he can regret it.
The line goes quiet. “You know you can just say you overslept instead of trying to distract me with a lie.”
Grian laughs. “I swear, I stopped a mugging!” Tim groans.
“Just hurry up over here.” And he hangs up on him.
Rude.