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“No guys, seriously this ranking is utter shit. Mr. Berner deserves to be at least C tier. He’s carrying around a sack on the daily, he deserves better.”
“Eren, for the millionth time, you’re outvoted! Mr. Berner is in the D tier.”
No amount of context given could have prepared Levi for that conversation. He didn’t even want to hear how the interaction was going to end. But in the environment where he works, and the tasks at hand, he has to be subjected to the young minds of the future.
How concerning.
“Alright then…” Eren moves on. “What about Mr. Smith?”
Levi listens, unamused, as the rest of Jaeger’s friend group all chime in. At the same time. “GYATT”
What in the actual fuck. Levi cannot for the life of him, comprehend the young generation's slang, not that he wants to anyway. It’s just, working as a janitor for a living has him in the immediate proximity of high schoolers–and their vocabulary. Whatever this ‘Gyatt’ nonsense meant, it must’ve been fairly new, considering he hadn’t heard it until fairly recently. He can only hope it dies down just as fast as it sprung to life.
Levi’s ears perk up when he realizes that the group is talking about Erwin. His Erwin. Erwin has a Gyatt? Levi wonders. What does that even mean? He picks up on his lowly task of mopping the floor, scowling as he thinks. The students at the nearby lunch table continue their debate, ignorant to the noise level of their conversation. Levi leans in just a little bit, hoping for a definition.
Mikasa Ackerman chimes in with her opinion. “I don’t know guys. Mr. Smith seems more A tier to me.”
Ymir, a very opinionated girl, shoots Mikasa down. “Are you kidding, Mikasa? Do you not see that dump truck he’s dragging around?”
“Well, sure. But like, it has to do more with how he has it, but doesn’t know how to use it. Do you get what I’m saying?”
Armin Arlert–a prodigy, claims Erwin–finally speaks up. “I disagree, Mikasa. It’s not like he can flaunt it on school property. I’m sure he does outside of school. Mr. Ackerman probably appreciates it.”
Levi ceases his mopping for a moment, silently grateful that Armin defended his husband. But then Levi begins to consider. Why in the hell would I appreciate Erwin’s dump truck? He knows I hate trash. No, no. Levi stops himself, taking into account the new slang.
Sack. Gyatt. Dump truck.
Levi was sure sack referred to, you know, a ball sack. At least, that’s what the saying meant when he was in high school.
Damn, I’m getting old, Levi admits before getting back on track. If a ‘Gyatt’ and a ‘Dump truck’ are synonyms of each other in this new slang, then what could it mean? The group had mentioned something about someone ‘carrying or dragging it around’
A satchel? Levi guesses. He knows both Moblit and Erwin own one, using it to carry their laptops or papers. Yes, that gotta be it. Levi decides. He begins mopping again, happy with himself for figuring it out.
Suddenly, Jean Kirstien’s voice echoes across the cafeteria. “Mr. Ackerman ain’t the only one appreciating that ass.”
Levi almost drops his mop. They are ranking teachers' asses?!”
“Put Mr. Smith in S tier,” Sasha Braus declares, Connie Springer supports her vote. “His booty is worthy of the title.”
“Now if he would stop wearing sweater vests, it would be easier to appreciate the view.” Eren says, and the rest of the table voice their agreement.
Erwin has an S tier ass? And the students are noticing it? And wait–what's wrong with his sweater vests? Levi thought they looked rather nice on him, fitting his curves in a way that made Levi’s mouth water. And the dress pants he wears? Levi just wanted to worshi–
The bell rings, ending the lunch period and breaking Levi out of daydreaming.
“Alright then,” Armin Arlert says, standing. He closes a notebook Levi hadn’t realized he’d been writing in. “We all agree Mr. Smith is in S tier.”
“Definitely.”
“Hell yeah.”
“Sure.”
Armin nods, accepting the approval. The group begins to walk in the direction of their next class, but not before Levi hears Armin declare; “That's all for the Gyatt Guild rankings today. I’m sure the next candidates will prove interesting.”
They have a club where they rank teacher asses? Levi swears from then on, he is only ever going to wear his headphones. That conversation sealed the deal for Levi’s capacity for teenage interactions. He couldn’t do it anymore.
“Hey, Levi!”
Levi turns at the familiar voice. Erwin is walking his way, proudly wearing his favorite sweater vest Levi helped him pick out this morning. He is smiling brightly, like being surrounded by noisy teenagers who use words like ‘gyatt’ or ‘dump truck’ is a pleasant experience.
“Erwin.”
“Levi, I was wondering what you wanted for dinner tonight?”
Levi frowned, wondering why Erwin was having this type of conversation with him right now. They could talk about it in the car on the way home. Levi could’ve said so to Erwin, but he knew his husband too well. Erwin just wanted an excuse to see him.
“It doesn’t matter, whatever you want is fine,” Levi settles on.
“Alright then, chicken fajitas it is.”
“Sounds good.”
The bell sounds again, and Erwin must remember that he has a class that he needs to teach because his brows furrow in the way Levi knows they do when he realizes something.
“Oh my, I need to go, Levi. I’ll see you when school is over.” Erwin doesn’t wait for a response, already turning on his heel in the direction of the history hallway.
Levi watches him go, and his mind wanders back to the students' conversation. Levi’s eyes trail down to Erwin’s lower region. He studies the way the pants frame his husband's ass, displaying his shapely ass with such fitted perfection.
Damn, those brats were right. Erwin’s got an S tier gyatt.