Chapter Text
One Week Later:
Land dug his hands in his pocket, standing in line outside the coffee stand by his office. Luckily, it was still early enough for the heat to be bearable. A few people in full suits were in front of Land, who wore a dress shirt tucked into khakis. He had a busy day ahead of him, wanting to get a head start on some accounts due next week.
Today, a stack of colorful magazines propped up next to the gum and candy caught his eye. It was a picture of a familiar face, pointing shockingly off in another direction. The headline read ‘Chivalry? Or Just Plain Old Obsessed?’ in large pink text. He scanned the fine print below it that read, ‘Find out more about Ubel’s steamy love life on Page 6!’
So she wasn’t kidding.
“Large black coffee,” Land asked when he reached the front of the line. Sweat began to pool underneath his plain black backpack. He eyed the magazine again waiting for his coffee to be ready. He wondered how it must feel like to be monitored all the time, to have people judge her every decision. Even for something as simple as getting morning coffee. It must be exhausting to have to worry about being either praised or attacked over a latte. After a few minutes, Land spotted his coffee in the pickup window. He grabbed the blue and white styrofoam cup and took a sip. His face twisted at its burnt taste as he headed into the tall office building.
He smiled at the security guard sitting in the lobby as he scanned his badge to reach the elevators. The building housed a hundred different companies. It had been recently renovated with amenities Land actually enjoyed. Although, the new cafeteria was draining his wallet.
Land waited patiently as the crowded elevator reached his office on the thirty-second floor. He looked down at his watch as the soft, pleasant music played. He smiled at a few people politely as they joined him in the elevator. Slowly, it reached a halt on his floor, so Land headed straight to his cubicle.
The day passed slowly. It was a Friday, so although Land wanted to push ahead, his coworkers and clients were slow to answer emails. For most of the day, the sounds of keyboards, computer mice, and the occasional small talk filled the office.
“Hey, man,” a voice began. It was Wirbel, the only other person under the age of 40 who worked at their accounting firm. He leaned against Land’s desk, playing with the abacus sitting on one corner of it.
“Hey,” Land replied, glancing down at the time. It was approaching four, so it was almost time to log off for the week. He closed out of the tab he was working on.
“Any plans this weekend?” Wirbel asked, now fiddling with some bright orange post-it notes he had found who knows where.
Land firmly grabbed them from Wirbel and placed them in one of his drawers before responding, “None. What about you?”
Wirbel gave him a wide smile, “My buddy from the gym, Stark, and I are going to grab a few beers on Saturday. Do you want to come?”
Land thought about it for a moment before nodding, “Sure.” It wasn’t like he had any plans this weekend to begin with, plus he enjoyed hanging out with Wirbel. He was someone who didn’t mind if Land wanted to stay indoors all weekend, as long as he got to hang out with him and rant about whatever was on his mind.
Wirbel gave him a thumbs up, “Sweet. I’ll text you the details.” He began to walk away before quickly turning around and calling back, “Oh yeah, you still single? I know this chick in sales who seems like your type.”
Land rolled his eyes at him, “Not interested.”
Wirbel’s face fell for a moment, then lit up again, “Oh. Well, I also know a guy in IT who’s single if that’s more up your alley.”
“Not interested.”
“You’re gonna be alone forever.” Wirbel sighed, leaving Land to finish up his work.
Land checked his emails one last time before logging off for the day, ready to go home and relax for the rest of the night. Throwing in his headphones, he headed down to the parking garage. He was pondering what to make for dinner. As the day had droned on, his motivation to cook had dwindled. He was looking forward to getting drinks with Wirbel, as there weren’t any movies he was interested in seeing, or any sports to watch. At least it would be a relaxing weekend.
Land decided to take the stairs down from the lobby of his building to the third floor of the garage. He was slightly out of breath by the time he got nearby, clicking his key to unlock the door. As Land finally reached his car, someone called out behind him, “I knew you seemed like the type of guy who parks in the same spot every day.”
He turned around to find Ubel leaning against a concrete pillar. She was wearing a short black dress with a white sweater tied around the waist, and black and white sneakers. A black headband pulled some of her hair back, revealing more of her face than he’d seen last time. It was difficult for Land not to stare. She was beautiful, with her hair expertly blown out and light makeup painted on her face.
Land, realizing he had been staring, cleared his throat and responded, “What can I say? I’m consistent.” He paused for a moment, looking around the parking garage, “Have you been coming down here every day hoping I’d show up?”
The only answer he received was a roll of the eyes and a scoff. “I was just in the neighborhood.”
Land raised an eyebrow and gave her a skeptical look, “You’re lucky you’re a good actress.” He opened the back door of his car and placed his bag on the black leather seat, “So if you’re not stalking me, what are you doing then?”
“I just didn’t get a chance to thank you for last week.” Ubel explained, flashing him a smile that Land couldn’t help but return, “And I wanted to see you again.” She seemed much calmer than the first time they’d met here. Distantly, they heard a car alarm echo through the parking garage.
Land was flattered she wanted to see him again. He couldn’t pretend that he didn’t feel the same way, but didn’t think in a million years she would return the sentiment. She was a famous, successful model and actress, whereas he was just Land. “No one chasing you today?”
A small laugh escaped Ubel as she shook her head, “I sort of wish there were so I didn’t look like a crazy stalker.” She walked around to the other side of his car and leaned against it, “Mind giving me another ride home?”
“So, did you take the bus or something to get here? Or are you abandoning your car for mine?” Land asked, climbing into the driver’s seat and reaching over to open the passenger door for her.
Ubel hopped into the car and closed the door behind her, “I gave my driver the night off, so I was really banking on finding you here.” She placed her small purse on her lap, fiddling with the zipper.
Land let out a small laugh as he turned on the car, making a now familiar drive to Ubel’s house.
…
After about half an hour, Land drove up the winding road to reach Ubel’s grand, stone driveway. As he turned off the ignition, they heard the fountain splashing water into the reflecting pond in front of her house.
Most of the lights were out, unlike last time. He couldn’t see into the dark house. They sat in the car silently, both waiting for the other to say something. Finally, Ubel broke the silence. “Do you want to come in for a drink?”
Land looked at the clock on his car and saw it now read 5:15, still plenty of time before he planned on turning in for the night. He looked out the window at the mixture of palm trees and oaks swaying in the light breeze before looking back at Ubel. The neighborhood was atop a hill, intentionally hidden by trees. Land didn’t get a good look at the other houses, but he knew they were just as luxurious as Ubel’s, “I’d love to.”
Ubel led Land inside the house, flipping on the lights. They illuminated a massive living room, with pristine white carpet and white furniture to match. A giant TV was mounted above a sleek fireplace. The carpet was bouncy underneath his feet.
Ubel disappeared into another room. While she was gone, Land eyed the living room in more detail. He played with some beige feathers sticking out of an expensive-looking vase sitting on a dark, wooden cabinet. His eyes followed the cabinet down to the ground, revealing a wine fridge with a few bottles propped up inside of it. Although everything in this room must have cost more than his entire apartment, it looked comfortable. There were throw blankets folded neatly on the couch, and pillows scattered about.
The sun was still brightly shining outside. He looked out of a glass door, revealing the backyard. Black rattan patio chairs with striped cushions covered stone tiles cut in an ornate pattern. Distantly, he saw a bright blue pool lined with lounge chairs, trimmed bushes, and landscaped flower beds.
“Enjoying the view?” Ubel asked. Land turned to look at her, holding a dark green bottle of white wine and two thin crystal glasses.
Land nodded in response and gestured to the room, “Everything looks so nice, I’m almost afraid to even touch the couch.”
“Don’t be. You can touch whatever you want in here,” Ubel replied, stepping closer to Land. She bent down at the glass coffee table to pour two glasses of wine, not taking her eyes off of him.
Their glasses clinked with a ‘Cheers’ as she finished pouring the wine. It was pleasantly sweet going down Land’s throat, and much more high-end than he was used to. “So what happens if someone spills something in here?” Land asked out of curiosity.
“I get a paper towel and wipe it up? I’m a model, not the Queen,” Ubel quipped back, crossing her legs on the couch.
“Fair enough,” Land decided.
“Speaking of that, do you know exactly it is that I do?” Ubel questioned, leaning back against the couch and taking a sip from her glass. She grabbed a remote, turning on the gas fireplace. It hummed for a moment before the flames lit up, yellow and orange entangling together.
Land tried to think back to the magazine cover and what other details it might have provided, but he kept drawing a blank. Eventually, he answered Ubel with a shrug, “I probably should have Googled what you’re famous for.” He leaned forward and gave her a small smile, “I haven’t the slightest clue what it might be.”
She laughed at his response, “I guess I should’ve expected that from you, Foureyes.” leaning forward, she further explained, “I began my career as a model. I got to work with some really cool designers, ones that I only dreamed of ever wearing their stuff. And then, I transitioned into acting a few years ago.”
Land turned to face her, and they sat closely next to each other on the comically large couch. He noticed she seemed to be much more at ease compared to the last time he saw her. Her smile seemed more genuine, and she no longer tried to cover her face with her hand when she spoke to him. It was nice to see her like this, getting to act like herself without worrying about other people eavesdropping.
“What do you do? I’m assuming you work in the CMA building,” Ubel asked, pulling Land from his thoughts.
He gave her a nod and responded, “Yep, I work at an accounting firm. I just started there pretty recently, but I like it. And its parking garage has its perks.” She smiled at him and moved closer, their legs almost touching, causing Land to gain a slight blush, “So if you get followed all the time, even to your house, how do you hang out with people?”
“It’s pretty hard to. I have to hide in parking garages just to see a guy I really like,” Ubel replied, leaning in even closer to Land. She grabbed onto the hem of his shirt, rubbing it in between her fingers.
Land met Ubel’s gaze, pushing a piece of her green hair behind her ear. The sounds of their breaths and the crackling fireplace filled the air. Land closed his eyes as Ubel leaned towards him. Their lips connected, hers tasting like the sweetness of the wine and her lip gloss.
…
Land was rudely awakened from his slumber in the most comfortable bed he had ever slept in. The Egyptian cotton sheets were cool on his bare skin, and his arm had been wrapped around a beautiful woman.
He rubbed his eyes, opening them slowly to a very panicked Ubel sitting over him, “You need to leave.”
“What?” Land began with a groggy voice. He grabbed his phone from the bedside table and stared blankly at Ubel when he saw it was not even four in the morning. “Now?”
“Yes, now. Someone might see you,” Ubel explained. She got out of bed and threw on a fluffy white robe and slippers. “I bet Kraft has something you can borrow,” she schemed before pulling out her phone and rapidly sending a message. Her hair was somehow still glamorous, even at four in the morning.
“Kraft?” Land asked, sitting up in bed. The sheets fell to his waist as he leaned against the silky pillow. Her bedroom was neat and cleanly decorated. A large Picasso flamingo print in a light wooden frame was centered above the bed.
“He’s on my security team.” Ubel rolled her eyes as if it were obvious. In under a minute, they were met with a knock on the door.
“Thanks, Kraft!” Ubel yelled from behind the door.
“Who’s the lucky guy?” Land heard a man with a deep voice ask. Land couldn’t hide the blush on his cheeks, knowing someone knew he was there.
“I’ll tell you all about him later,” Ubel sighed, opening the door momentarily to grab a pile of clothes. She waved before shutting the door. Although across the room and well out of eyesight, Land instinctively pulled up the sheet to cover his chest. “Here,” she stated, throwing the pile onto the bed.
He sighed, inspecting the light gray sweatshirt and sweatpants. He got out of bed and slipped on the clothes that practically swallowed him whole. He covered his messy blond hair with the hood. Slipping on his wire-frame glasses, he gathered the rest of his things that were strewn about the bedroom.
Ubel stared at him for a moment, clearly pondering something. She dug through a dresser in the wooden vanity in the corner of her bedroom, grabbing out a large pair of sunglasses. The lenses were as large as dinner plates, but she slid them on Land’s face, over his actual glasses. Land could only guess how ridiculous he looked. Wrapping her arms around his neck, she kissed him. “Now you look perfect. Alright, now go home before anyone sees you. I have your number now so I don’t need to stalk you anymore.”
“Well, just in case, you know where to find me.”
Land slipped out the front door, careful to cover as much of his face as he could with the oversized, gray hoodie. He tried to ignore the sweaty odor it omitted, knowing it would only be a short walk to his car before he could take it off. It was cool outside, and Land could hear the leaves swaying from the nighttime breeze. Their neighborhood was quiet, much quieter than his own. Probably because her property was larger than his entire apartment complex, but still, it was peaceful. Distantly, he heard an owl hoot.
His car was still out front in the driveway, so he dug around in his pocket for his keys. As he opened the front door, he was temporarily blinded. He heard the click of a camera and then a car zoom away in the distance. ‘Shit,’ he thought to himself. ‘That can’t be good.’
…
Land almost forgot he agreed to meet Wirbel and his friend as the day turned to night. He’d long since freshened up from the night before, changing into a red t-shirt and black athletic shorts. He threw the clothes he was given in the washing machine, noting to return them the next time he saw Ubel. The thought of a next time made him smile.
The sky darkened on his Uber over to the bar. It was close to his apartment, so he was able to avoid engaging in small talk with the driver. Land was dropped off at the front, the driver forced to navigate through a crowded parking lot. The bar was on the corner of a busy street, so there was a constant stream of cars whizzing past and the occasional horn being honked.
Land checked his phone, looking at the time. It was close to nine, just before they were supposed to meet. Land leaned against the brick wall of the building, waiting for his friends to arrive. A few minutes later, he waved as Wirbel and a man with red hair, who he presumed to be Stark walked across the parking lot.
“Land!” Wirbel said, dapping him up. “This is Stark.”
“Hey, man. Nice to meet you,” Land replied. The sound of a siren blew past them.
“You too, bro,” Stark agreed. The three of them wore similar outfits, all different variations on athletic shorts and a t-shirt. Stark was the shortest of the three.
They headed into the packed bar and squeezed past tables to grab a high-top towards the back. The decor was pretty standard for a sports bar, with a few signed jerseys and full stadium photos. A waitress came over to take their order and returned back with IPAs in chilled pint glasses. It was dimly lit, and Land played with the corner of a napkin. They had to speak loudly to make their voices heard over other patrons in the bar.
Conversation flowed nicely throughout the night, as they shared drinks over the professional cornhole game playing on one of the many flatscreen TVs. They agreed that they really missed watching football. Stark was a lot like Wirbel, but Land didn’t mind it. He enjoyed hanging out with them. He certainly enjoyed the beer.
After a lull in the night, Wirbel scrolled on his phone. He announced, “Oh, shit. Ehre’s going to love this. It looks like Ubel’s got a new boyfriend.”
“Let me see that. Fern loves her. She’ll be impressed if I ask her about it,” Stark asked with an intrigued tone in his voice. He took a sip of his beer before turning to Land and explaining, “She’s my girlfriend, by the way.”
“Nice, nice,” Land said with a flat tone. He figured as much. He tried not to panic, but he couldn’t help but do so internally.
“I bet you don’t even know who Ubel is. She’s some model that every woman seems to be obsessed with, right now,” Wirbel explained. If it were any other celebrity, Wirbel would be right. The irony of the situation felt palpable to Land. He was worried he’d made a mistake the night before and his face would be plastered all over the Internet. However, a larger part worried that it would be someone else’s face in the picture. He sipped his beer, trying to hide the worry on his face.
Wirbel turned his phone around to share the Tweet with his friends. Land instantly recognized the photo, holding his breath for the incoming barrage of questions he wasn’t sure how the answer. The caption read, “Ubel’s new mystery man???” Land almost choked on his beer, seeing that the tweet had hundreds of comments and even more retweets. It was him from the night before, but thankfully the recognizable features of his face were covered.
Wirbel zoomed in on the face in the picture, and Land’s heart began to race. He pursed his lips, trying to think of what to say. He wasn’t sure if Ubel was ready to tell people about him. They’d only met twice, and Land didn’t want to impose. “I feel like I’ve seen him before.”
Before Land could interject, Stark tilted his head to get a better look at the man. “Nah, that’s cap. Why would you?”
“I don’t know, he looks so familiar. I can’t place it. Oh, well. I’m sure Ehre will know.” Wirbel continued, his tone slightly perplexed. Land remained quiet. He figured saying anything would just make him look suspicious.
“He looks like just another tall, rich asshole,” Stark scoffed. Land moved his eyes back and forth, finding it more difficult to stay silent with each word. He placed his hands on his legs, wiping off the sweat that was forming on his palms.
“Trueeee,” Wirbel agreed, raising his glass to Stark’s. He looked at it for a few more seconds, “...Ok, but his jawline looks pretty good.”
Stark agreed, “And he looks kind of jacked, too.”
“Let's just ignore this guy, ok?” Land interrupted, not wishing to hear any more of their opinions on this matter. When the two looked at him, he clarified, “I just have no idea who these people are, so can we talk about something else?”
“Alright,” Wirbel and Stark agreed, backing off.
Although they stayed at the bar for a bit longer, Land could hardly pay attention to their conversations. He didn’t really think of the implications of seeing Ubel again, and certainly not of sleeping with her. He enjoyed it, of course, and he really liked her, but he just hoped people would give up on learning the identity of her so-called Mystery Man.