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Undisclosed Desires

Summary:

Shen Yuan, after a lifetime’s worth of being too nervous to really experiment, posts on an online forum for finding partners to act out niche sexual fantasies. This is how he meets Luo Binghe (Bingge) and gets invited to the man’s house. Together they enjoy a 72 hour long emotional roller coaster in which they roleplay as Professor Shen, who has been kidnapped by his student who is violently, obsessively in love with him. During this time the lines between fantasy and reality blur, as Luo Binghe’s acting is almost too realistic, and his detailed knowledge of Shen Yuan becomes difficult to explain.

Notes:

Thanks so much to my artist Ficho who made the beautiful art in this fic. Sorry not all the tags from my original description got included, this fic ended up being much shorter than I expected. I hope you, and everyone else still enjoys it!

Work Text:

Shen Yuan tapped his foot nervously as he sat in a purposefully relaxed pose. He’d arrived at the rented house early in the morning, hoping to avoid being seen by any living creature. There was no way for anyone to know what he was doing, obviously! Just going to a house he rented totally legally and with no ulterior motive was a completely fine thing to do.

 

Except, he felt like he had an ulterior motive.

 

Maybe once Binghe got here too, he’d feel a bit less nervous. Surely it’d be easier to do something risqué with a partner than just sit thinking about it.

 

Shen Yuan and Luo Binghe met two weeks ago on an online forum for… the lonely. Yeah, that was a good way to describe it. A space where people with certain tastes that weren’t acceptable in general society could find each other and connect.

 

Posting on that forum had been a huge step for Shen Yuan all on its own, but it’d been nothing compared to actually getting on the plane to go to the planned on city and walking into the house. 

 

Talking to Binghe had been easy, though. Relaxing. Shen Yuan had felt a connection with the man even though a screen that was deeper than anything he’d ever felt in real life relationships. And Shen Yuan had been trying to find the right girl for decades. Since he was a teenager. It had been fine for him to be disinterested then, weird, but fine. But being in his forties and still having zero love life? It was just sad. The girls his family found for him were nice of course, but no matter how hard Shen Yuan tried, he couldn’t bring himself to feel anything beyond respect and possibly friendship for them at most.

 

There had been a real spark this time.

 

Shen Yuan heard the unmistakable noise of the front door unlocking. He texted Binghe the code as soon as he’d gotten it, and held his breath as waited for the man to step inside.

 

Shen Yuan sucked in a breath. He was even more beautiful in person than in pictures. Shen Yuan had been a little afraid, shallowly, that once he saw Binghe in real life the heat that sent his pulse racing would disappear, that it had only been the thrill of planning a weekend affair that had excited him. Clearly that wouldn’t be a problem.

 

“Ah, you’re already here,” Binghe said, a boyish, picture-esque smile that looked straight out of an oil painting spread across his face.

 

“Yeah,” Shen Yuan said awkwardly, “My plane landed at like, five, so I’ve just been hanging out.”

 

Binghe was wearing a thick woolen scarf and gloves, as well as a heavy overcoat to protect him from the snow outside. It wasn’t hard at the moment, easy enough to ignore when inside a well made building like they were, but it was enough that his nose and cheeks were pink with cold, and Shen Yuan watched him remove each piece of protective clothing. He wore a thinner turtleneck sweater underneath that highlighted his prominent shoulders and strong body. 

 

Shen Yuan was a grown man, but he was sure he was gawking like a teenager. Binghe was probably internally cringing at him.

 

“Sorry to make you wait,” Binghe replied, “Was your flight smooth?”

 

“Smooth enough, some kid cried half the way through though.”

 

Binghe frowned sympathetically, “How frustrating.”

 

Shen Yuan shrugged, “Worse for the kid than for me, poor guy sounded like he was dying.”

 

Realizing he was still sitting down on the couch, Shen Yuan got up to greet his new partner. Was shaking hands appropriate? They were about to do a lot more than that. He opted not to go in for touch at all yet.

 

“Sick kids aside, I brought some wine. It’s in the kitchen, should I get us some?” Binghe smiled again and agreed, and Shen Yuan almost ran to the kitchen. Hopefully alchohol could make him a bit more charismatic. He was obviously screwing this up already. Mentioning crying kids isn’t sexy, Shen Yuan! Get a grip!

 

“So, is there anything we need to talk about before we start?” Binghe asked, taking a sip from the glass Shen Yuan handed him as he settled onto the couch next to him.

 

Shen Yuan cleared his throat, “What is there to talk about? We said most everything before even coming here.”

 

“I know, but considering I’m about to have you tied up in a basement for the next few days, I figured I should ask.”

 

Binghe said it nonchalantly, but it sent a shiver down Shen Yuan’s spine, “You’ll have Professeur Shen Qingqiu tied up in your basement, not me.”

 

“Of course, sorry,” Binghe agreed, “So you don’t want to know each other at all outside of the play?”

 

“No. Sorry if that’s disappointing,” Shen Yuan gazed down into his wine glass to avoid seeing disappointment on Binghe’s face, not that he probably would’ve seen any. Binghe was a nice, attractive guy who by all accounts seemed upstanding and respectable. In another context Shen Yuan would’ve loved to get to know him. “I don’t think I’m ready to be friends with someone who knows this kinda stuff about me, you know?”

 

Binghe hummed in what Shen Yuan could only assume was agreement, “Not disappointing at all. I’m quite used to not getting to know people first.”

 

“Do you do this a lot?”

 

Binghe lifted one eyebrow, “I believe you just said you didn’t want to know.”

 

“Right! Totally, sorry,” Shen Yuan took another big sip of wine. He really was bad at this, wasn’t he?

 

“Nothing to worry about. I would like to go over our agreement again though, if you don’t mind. Just to make sure we’re still on the same page.”

 

“Absolutely,” Shen Yuan nodded, and he watched Binghe pull out a couple papers from his pocket. Seeing them unfolded, it was a collection of things they’d discussed online formatted into bullet point. “Someone’s organized,” he joked.

 

“I’m meticulous. You’ll know a lot more about that soon enough,” Binghe said without missing a beat, Shen Yuan barely processed it before Binghe moved on, “So for three days—starting tonight and ending Monday evening—we’ll both be completely in character. You’ll be Professor Shen, who teaches literature at the college I go to. I’m your student who’s fallen deeply in love with, and I kidnap you and bring you to my house.” 

 

Binghe continued listing off conditions. Though the three days, they were both okay using alcohol, sleeping meds, and OTC pain meds if needed but neither would do any hard drugs. He was okay being tied up, and with marks being left on him—but no blades and nothing that’d scar. Binghe was also okay with him fighting back violently. He’d feed Shen Yuan and let him use the bathroom at least once a day. Shen Yuan was okay with outfits and costumes. Not okay with getting his hair cut. A couple other things too, but Shen Yuan was anticipating so hard he didn’t listen completely.

 

“Is there anything I missed?”

 

Shen Yuan inhaled deeply. Hearing so much listed out like that…

 

“No. That all sounds right.”

 

“Perfect. So, Professor Shen, do you feel like changing now, or finishing our wine first?”

 

“Would you mind if I had a second glass first?”

 

“Not if you pour me another too.”

 

They chatted pleasantly, and Shen Yuan felt that same easy attraction he’d had over their online messages. Binghe was clearly intelligent, caring, and funny. Ig made Shen Yuan wonder for half a second why he had to go looking on fringe forums for partners, especially with his exceptional face, but the answer was obvious. Even with a face like Adonis, it was hard to find someone who wanted the same things as the two of them.

 

As Shen Yuan changed into the professional tan suit that would be serving as his “costume”, he felt a kinship with Binghe that made his nerves ease. Binghe wasn’t going to judge him. Not for this at least. They were… together, in this.

 

“So how will we start?” Shen Yuan asked.

 

Binghe handed him another glass of wine wordlessly, and Shen Yuan looked at him curiously. “Listen, I know at my age I should be able to hold my alcohol, but two glasses should really be the limit for me.”

 

Binghe smiled charmingly, “You don’t have to finish it. It’s got something to help you sleep. Not too long, just enough for the start of the scene to feel authentic.” Binghe added the last bit as Shen Yuan opened his mouth to question him.

 

Well. In for a penny, in for a pound.

 

Shen Yuan took a large sip of his glass, expecting to instantly pass out like in a movie. When that didn’t happen, he felt very silly and took a smaller sip, sitting down so he wouldn’t fall and hit his head in the way down.

 

“Are you excited?” Binghe asked, his hand on Shen Yuan’s shoulder as he drank. It was the first time they’d touched, and Shen Yuan was all too aware of it as he began to feel drowsy.

 

“Very. A little nervous too, though.”

 

He saw Binghe’s smiled widen just a fraction, “That’s okay. I’ll take good care of you, I promise.”

 

The last thing Shen Yuan saw before his eyes dropped closed was Binghe’s face, looking down at him.

 

.

 

Shen Yuan woke in a dimly lit room, his wrists restrained by smooth fabric to the headboard of a bed. There was warm light coming from the far corner of the room, but it wasn’t enough to actually see anything.

 

They must be in the basement, of course. Shen Yuan had looked inside when he’d arrived, and he felt a bit more comfortable already having the prior knowledge. 

 

It was a bare room, with a metal framed bed and stiff, but not lumpy, mattress. There was a lamp in the corner that must be emoting the faint light, sat on a short table.

 

Shen Yuan startled at the feeling of fingers on his jaw.

 

“You're awake…” he looked over and saw Binghe, standing over him like a spector and made featureless by the backlighting, “I’ve been waiting for you.”

 

Shen Yuan gulped, and only then noticed more of the fabric around his wrists had been stuffed in his mouth as a gag.

 

“Shh,” Binghe’s thumb moved to caress Shen Yuan’s lower lip, “Don’t try to speak. I’m sure you must have a lot of questions.”

 

Unable to speak even if he wanted to, Shen Yuan looked over Binghe as his eyes focused. He was standing, his long hair tied neatly in a ponytail draped over his shoulder in a way that made him appear even more youthful. His expression wasn’t visible so far away as it was with him standing, but Shen Yuan could make out the navy blue of his close fitting pants, and Binghe’s obvious excitement through them.

 

Shen Yuan felt a thrill travel through him. Embarrassingly, he imagined Binghe touching himself as he waited for Shen Yuan to wait. Did he look good tied up like this? Binghe had been really interested in the bondage aspect when they’d discussed it, so surely that was the appeal…

 

“You’re not paying attention,” Binghe’s voice took on a sharp edge and he squeezed Shen Yuan’s jaw. As he focused back on the moment, gazing up at Binghe intently, the man crouched beside him and he saw his expression morph into something of a pout, “You’re always ignoring me, Professor. Don’t you always talk about how you care about your students? You should care more about me.”

 

Forgetting himself, Shen Yuan tried to mumble something through the gag, and he saw Binghe smile slightly, “I’ve had a crush on you for a while, you know. I tried standing out, but no matter what I did you never seemed to take interest in me. I’m quite interesting now, aren’t I?”


Luo Binghe standing over Shen Yuan, reading out the above line. The art has harsh lines and contrasting colors.

 

Shen Yuan nodded. Binghe was still just feeling his face and neck, speaking in his unbearably sexy, smooth-like-butter voice. Shen Yuan wasn’t a virgin or anything, but he felt himself getting impatient. This whole thing was for a single purpose. He wasn’t sure he could make it through the roleplay without acting super OOC before they got to the action. Maybe it was good that he couldn't talk.

 

Oh! Yeah, he was supposed to be playing a character! Professor Shen was supposed to be super against this, kidnapping and all. Shen Yuan blinked once, turning his head face away from Binghe. 

 

The hand that struck him didn’t hurt immediately. In fact, he didn’t quite realize he’d been slapped until his cheek started throbbing. It felt hot, pulsing under his skin. Inescapably.

 

Binghe straddled him, unbuttoning Shen Yuan’s plain white shirt roughly. His voice was petulant as he spoke, too childish to quite fit with everything else happening, “Do you not like looking at me, sir? Am I not pretty enough?”

 

Shen Yuan didn’t get a chance to respond as Binghe leaned down to kiss his chest. He wasn’t nearly as fit as Binghe, his body just layers of skin and fat covering not very much muscle. Binghe sucked bruises onto his shoulders and collarbones messily. Harshly. 

 

This was supposed to be like an authentic kidnapping, right? Shen Yuan felt a bit uncertain how to play it. Since his wrists were bound and he couldn’t speak, he experimentally kicked at Luo Binghe, trying to use his legs to push the other man off. Binghe looked up at him, something greedy and excited in his eyes before he quickly started unbuttoning Shen Yuan’s shirt.

 

He finally took the gag out of Shen Yuan’s mouth.

 

“What’s wrong sir? Not comfortable?”

 

“Disgusting brat,” Shen Yuan said, not knowing what he was saying until he heard them aloud, “You won’t get away with this.”

 

“Oh but sir,” Binghe protested, “There’s nothing to get away with.”

 

Cupping Shen Yuan’s groin, Binghe skillfully teased him through his pants, kissing him deeply as he did. His tongue was invasive, hot and wet as it slid over every part of Shen Yuan’s mouth. An experimental bite on the muscle was sharply punished by a tug on his hair that made him gasp, allowing Binghe’s tongue almost down his throat.

 

Shen Yuan rolled his hips against Binghe’s hand involuntarily, the heat inside him growing more and more uncontrollable. He could feel Binghe’s erection on his thigh, and he could tried to imagine what it would feel like inside him. Strange. Good. Big. 

 

“Think about this,” Shen Yuan gasped out when Binghe pulle back for a moment, “You could be arrested, and if not, then I could be fired.”

 

Binghe kissed the corner of his mouth, pulling the waistband of Shen Yuan’s pants enough down that he could massage the round flesh of his backside. 

 

“Always thinking about other people. What they’ll think. What they’ll do to you. You should be more worried what I’ll do to you.” In the dimness, Shen Yuan’s only warning was a rustle of fabric before a sharp pain dug into his shoulder. Something metal pierced past his plain shirt, making him wince. “I can do anything I want, you know. This place is far, far from any city. You’re a few hours from home by plane, let alone by car, and you paid for your taxi from the airport in cash. Who will find you?”

 

The dig of the blade across Shen Yuan’s shoulder—hot, hot swelling, blood pooling around the wound, red and warm and wet—distracted Shen Yuan from the eerie reality of the words.

 

“What?” breaking character from his haughty school teacher role, Shen Yuan exclaimed in genuine confusion. “That’s not…”

 

Then Binghe’s hand on his groin rubbed more insistently, and Shen Yuan’s pants were being removed one handed. A wet tongue lapped at the steady-bleeding wound on his shoulder and warm fingers wrapped around his straining cock. 

 

“Ah, you—” he cut off his own pleasured words with a half-hearted attempt to kick Binghe off of him, his breath catching as his hips were pinned to the bed.

 

“Should I have tied your ankles too, sir?” Binghe asked, dangerous amusement thick in his voice. Pulling Shen Yuan’s pants even further down to his knees, Binghe folded his thighs almost to his chest, retreating his touch for a moment before his fingers came back slick and viscous, prodding down Shen Yuan’s inner thigh to between his cheeks.

 

Only Shen Yuan had touched himself there, too unimaginative it too embarrassed to tell any woman he’d been with previously how much he wanted it. Binghe’s fingers felt a million times better than his own. Rough and thick, yet careful as they massaged the tender skin. 

 

“Can you feel how you open up for me?” Binghe rasped, desire obvious in both his touch and his voice. He leaned over Shen Yuan, pinning his legs between their chests so he could whisper in his ear, “Don’t you wish I had done this sooner? I certainly do. Think of how long we could’ve had this. How much time we’ve wasted already. Aren’t you proud of how patient I’ve been?”

 

Not acting very patient at all in Shen Yuan’s eyes, Binghe stuffed his fingers deep inside suddenly, making him and clench involuntarily. It was too fast, too harsh, but it felt deliciously exciting how he had no option other than to take it. His muscles spasmed slightly as Binghe stretched him too fast.

 

“Ha, proud? Of a weak willed little boy like you? Clearly your comprehensive skills aren’t much better than your bedroom ones,” Shen Yuan’s words were cutting, but they were completely undermined by the desperate pants and cracks of his voice that broke every other word. Binghe growled anyways, shoving another finger inside Shen Yuan and sucking a bruise behind his ear. 

 

“So, so proud,” Binghe said, words cold, and Shen Yuan wasn’t sure on what sense Binghe meant them in. He moaned as Binghe’s finger pulled out, leaving him empty and twitching. Shen Yuan’s hamstrings would be seriously cramping later with how far they were being forced to stretch, and his hips burned a little too, not to mention his shoulder and his wrists, but all the pain was overshadowed when Binghe filled him. He wasn’t just big, he was practically inhuman. Shen Yuan wondered if Binghe could put it all the way in and still leave room for his organs. It felt good, if overwhelming, and Shen Yuan cried out as his body stretched to accommodate. It took time to get it even mostly in, but Binghe was patient. He sated himself by leaving Shen Yuan breathless with more kissing and toying with his nipples through his shirt until he was finally able to bottom out.

 

For a moment neither of them moved, both breathless and frozen by a sudden intimacy. Somehow Binghe’s hand had found it’s way to rest on Shen Yuan’s cheek, and somehow Shen Yuan had found himself leaning into the touch. 

 

It didn’t fit the characters. It didn’t make sense in real life either, then barely knowing each other after all. Shen Yuan couldn’t move. He stared on at his three day lover and breathed slowly.

 

There was something unrecognizable in the younger man’s gaze. Something a little too intense and a little too unsettling for Shen Yuan to understand. It bore into him, cracked him open like a seal with an oyster.

 

Binghe’s hand tightened on his neck and the moment was broken.

 

Shen Yuan let himself fall into everything, tumbling headfirst into the pleasure and the rush and the adrenaline as Binghe fucked him within an inch of his life, losing breath both in kisses and strong, masculine hands the wrapped his throat in a violent embrace. 

 

He came harder that night then he ever had in his life, and several times. He couldn’t tell whether he passed out or fell asleep when it was over, but he woke up for a few seconds periodically to throbbing in several spots on his body, and his wrists still tied but clasped to his chest instead of bound to the bed. Usually with a heavy, warm weight at his back. 

 

When he woke properly, he tried and failed to sit up. He looked around at the all too dark room with bleary eyes. Binghe shushed him as he mumbled a question, rising briefly to bring him back a pill and a glass of water.

 

“For the pain, sir,” Binghe explained, placing it on Shen Yuan’s tongue. Too tired to do anything but trust, Shen Yuan swallowed.

 

He fell back asleep with a bitter taste on his tongue, and a hand carding through his hair.

 

“See, didn’t I promise I’d take good care of you? Rest now, I’ll wake you when it’s time to eat.”