Work Text:
"Did you see me do the big spin?" Noah bounced up and down as Rafael opened the door.
"I saw mijo."
"No one else could do it. Only me."
"I know, it was amazing." He pushed the door open and let Noah run in.
"Momma!"
"Hi baby," Olivia squeaked out from the couch.
"I did a big spin in dance class today and I didn't get dizzy."
"Sounds amazing."
"I'm gonna go tell Cheese."
"Did you start dinner yet?" Rafael hooked his jacket up, "I was thinking about ordering thai."
"Sounds good to me."
Noah came back out to meet his parents. "Did you see Cheese out here momma?"
"Out here?" Olivia said quickly, "why would Cheese be out here? Check in the cage."
"I did. He wasn't there."
"Check again Noah. Check around your room."
Rafael frowned at his wife's tone as Noah scurried to his room. "What's with the weird voice?"
"Come." She dragged him quickly to their room and slammed the door. "I killed Cheese."
"You killed Cheese?!"
"Lower your voice Barba. It was an accident. I heard scruffling in the kitchen, I thought it was a mouse. I just..." Olivia gestured weakly towards the floor, "and then I realized it was Cheese and he was dead."
"You shot him?"
"No you idiot. I killed him with a broom."
"How could you kill Cheese?"
"I told you I thought he was a mouse."
"Dios," Rafael breathed as he ran a hand through his hair. "Wait, you only hit him?"
"Yeah, once. He went kinda limp after that."
"He's probably not dead. He could have gone into shock. We'll drop him in the cage when Noah isn't looking then—"
"I already threw him into the dumpster," Olivia said sheepishly.
"Whaaaat?"
"I thought he was dead. I didn't want Noah to look in the trash and see his dead hamster."
"So you'd rather tell him you killed Cheese?"
"We are not telling him anything."
"Olivia..."
"Noah has the attention span of a goldfish sometimes. We both keep this secret and slowly toss out Cheese's stuff. In about 3 maybe 4 months, he forgets about the hamster."
Rafael folded his arms. "We are not doing that. Are you crazy? Did you hit your hit when you killed Cheese?"
"I just feel so guilty. He loved that little rodent even though all it did was run on the wheel at odd times."
"And it bit me," Rafael added, "the little fucker."
"See, we agree it was annoying."
"We do, but Livia, we can't keep a secret like this from him. He's going to realize that the hamster that usually lives in his room, is gone."
"Please Rafa, I don't want to look in those big, blue eyes and admit I killed his first pet."
Rafael let out a deep breath as he looked at his wife. "If he starts asking, then you tell him."
"Of course."
"Momma?" Noah knocked on the door, "do you see Cheese in there?"
"Uhh... no. How about we have ice cream before dinner?"
"Yay!"
"Attention span of a goldfish."
Olivia had been able to keep Noah distracted with ice cream, tv and multiple bedtime stories for a week before he flopped on the couch next to Rafael.
"Dad, I still can't find Cheese. I'm really scared now. He's never been missing this long. What if he's stuck somewhere?"
"Tu mami has something to tell you."
"She does?"
"Yep. Liv?!"
Olivia came out the kitchen where she was loading up the dishwasher. "What's up?"
"Noah is still looking for Cheese. I told him that you could explain."
She sighed and slowly walked over to the couch.
"Did you see him momma?"
"Noah remember how I told you animals and people don't live forever?"
"Yeah."
"Well umm... Cheese..." she sat heavily on the couch, "he uh... he died baby."
"What? How?"
"He was stuck in the closet. He probably was hungry and thristy."
"It's all my fault," Noah sobbed, "I forgot to close the cage properly." He doubled over on the couch. "I'm so sorry Cheese, I'm sorry."
Rafael glared at Olivia over Noah's hunched form. 'You liar' he mouthed.
"W-we should have a funeral," Noah choked out.
"That would be nice mijo. It might have to be closed casket though. Tu mami will decorate it."
"Can we do it on Sunday?"
"It's Easter Sunday mijo, remember? Everyone's coming over for brunch."
"That's why it's the best day, everyone's here."
"Yeah, but, Easter is about y'know Jesus rising from the dead, you can't have a funeral."
"Cheese is dead," Noah said seriously, "abuelita's Jesus will understand."
______
"How did we end up doing this?" Olivia grumbled as they turned all the seats in the apartment to face the window.
"Because you refused to tell him. If you had told him when the little gremlin died we could have been finished with this."
"You're just upset because Lucia's mad we're ruining her favorite holiday."
"Her favorite holiday is Christmas," Rafael hissed, "I'm upset because for some strange reason I have to sing before we toss an empty box in the garbage."
"You sing all the damn time. I had to spend hours decorating an empty shoe box."
"It was your fault."
Olivia's retort was stopped when Noah walked out dressed in all black. "Noah," she said softly, fighting a laugh, "what happened to the blue suit?"
"You wear black to funerals. I googled it."
"But abuelita bought you that suit, you promised to wear it."
"Cheese wasn't dead when I promised."
"Technically he was," Rafael murmured and Olivia elbowed him.
"I got this picture of me and Cheese. I decorated it." Noah stuck the picture on the glass. "Now everyone can remember what he looked like."
"They didn't forget sweet boy."
They looked up at the sound of knocking.
"Probably mami. Go answer the door mijo. I have to check on the pork."
Noah walked over slowly. "Who is it?"
"Abuelita."
"Hi abuelita," he greeted somberly as he opened the door, "thank you for coming."
"Nieto, what happened to your blue suit?"
"You have to wear black to funerals abuelita, google says so."
"I see." Lucia smirked as she watched the picture of Cheese and Noah on the window. "I remember taking that picture."
"It was the day I got Cheese, now he's dead."
Lucia ruffled his curls before going to meet her son in the kitchen. "So we're having a funeral."
"He said your Jesus will understand why we're having a funeral on the day of his resurrection."
"Oh Jesus will understand, I don't. Noah loved Cheese, he took him everywhere, he fed him, he even tried to bathe him. How did he suddenly die?"
"Noah accidentally left the cage unlocked."
"And none of you saw the little gerbil before it died?"
"It was a hamster mami. How can you forget what you bought? And plus," he leaned over to whisper the real cause of death into her ear.
"Mija!" Lucia gasped as she stared at Olivia.
"It was an accident," Olivia whined.
"Buy him another one."
"There will never be another Cheese," Noah sighed before falling onto the couch. He continued to mope as the rest of their family entered the apartment.
"We really doing this?" Fin whispered to Olivia, "I thought the kid's text was a joke."
"He is very serious. Just don't ask to see the body please."
"Why? Funeral home didn't do a good job?"
"There is no body. Now sit so we could get this over with."
"Alright mijo, everyone's here. You can get started."
Noah stood up near the small shoe box with a crumpled piece of paper. "I'm gonna say the... the funeral speech."
Fin coughed several times before rushing out the apartment.
"Where's Uncle Fin going?"
"He's taking a few minutes."
"Probably choked up by grief," Amanda snickered, before pretending to dab her eyes.
"Go on nieto, say your speech."
"Right," Noah looked at his paper once more. "Cheese was my first pet and best animal friend. I named him Cheese cause he liked to eat it even though momma said he wasn't supposed to eat cheese. I did everything with him. I even started to teach him some tricks."
"I feel really bad now," Olivia whispered to Rafael as Noah wiped away a few tears.
"Me too."
"Should we tell him the truth?"
"Absolutely not. We'll go to the grave with that secret."
"I will miss my best friend Cheese forever," Noah finished sadly.
Olivia got up and pulled Noah into her arms. "It's okay sweet boy, everything's going to be okay. How about daddy sings and we get rid of the box?"
"Okay."
Amanda barely held it together as Rafael sung softly. She glanced at Sonny who had tears in his eyes. "Are you serious?"
"It's a sad occasion Manda."
"It's a mouse."
"Cheese was a hamster," Jesse pointed out.
xxx
"That was a real nice service kid," Sonny knelt in front of Noah, "I bet Cheese would have liked it."
"You think?"
"Yeah. You know I had a dog growing up and he died, I'm sure he's up in heaven showing Cheese around."
"I'll make sure abuelita tells Jesus to tell your dog thank you."
"You should go play. Cheese would have wanted you to have fun."
"Okay."
Sonny got up slowly as Noah walked away. "He does know that's not how prayer works right?"
"As far as Noah is concerned Lucia is the only person that can talk to Jesus."
"The rest of us be damned," Rafael murmured as he took a sip of coffee. "Well look who finally decided to come back."
"Yo, what the fuck?" Fin chuckled, "I thought we came here for breakfast and shit. How did it end up being a funeral for a guniea pig?"
"It was a hamster!"
______
"Momma!" Noah barely waited for his father to enter the apartment, "guess what!"
"I dunno, what?"
"Look!" He held up a small cage triumphantly, a hamster nestled inside, "Cheese rose from the dead just like abuelita's Jesus!"
"Did he now?" Olivia said slowly as she stared at Rafael.
"Yeah. Daddy found him."
"That's amazing," she deadpanned.
"I'm gonna take him back to our room."
Rafael squirmed under Olivia's gaze when Noah ran off. "Before you say anything... the guy at the pet store gave me a better cage, no more accidental escapes."
"Good. He rose from the dead huh?"
"Apparently Cheese is a very common looking hamster, we can keep on replacing him as needed."