Work Text:
There is something fake about the new guy.
Noah wonders if anyone else has noticed. Probably not. Maybe Heather. They are all just so -
Idiotic -
Oblivious, they couldn’t spot a villain if he came with glaring red lights.
Noah doesn’t know if Alejandro is a villain. Not now, not yet, but there is something… strange about him.
His motions are unnaturally smooth, unnaturally practised. He is handsome, suave, charming…
But it is like he is playing a part. The master manipulator, writ large. With a modicum of social skills, this time.
Yet there is something deeper than that. Something more than skin deep.
Alejandro winces at Owen’s loudness. He never quite meets anyone’s eyes. He fidgets with his necklace.
Noah wonders. Maybe it is far-fetched, his conclusion. But he has never been wrong.
Alejandro Burromuerto is autistic, Noah thinks. Undiagnosed, probably. Masked, heavily.
If Noah is wrong, he will eat his vest.
He was right with all the others.
After all, like recognises like.
.
Noah disclosed all his allergies to Total Drama .
He did not disclose his autism.
Noah is far from ashamed about being autistic. After all, that is just Noah . Noah, with his special interests and irritability at loud noises. He is antisocial, but people don’t see him as autistic , simply as Noah. After all, Noah is sarcastic, and autistic people cannot understand sarcasm.
In the mainstream, autistic people are largely little white boys obsessed with trains. Noah is Indian and obsessed with planes: he doesn’t fit the picture. And he is fine with that.
If he told Total Drama about his autism, that is all he would have become: the autistic kid.
He never wanted that.
Noah comes onto the show, prepared for something ridiculous and getting nothing less. He clocks Harold and Cody as autistic straight away.
Owen takes a bit more time. It takes Noah until Action to realise that Courtney is, too. Her obsession with rules and routine and procedure gives it away. If one thing goes wrong, she cracks. Duncan doesn’t help.
Noah wants them all to get proper support. He is apathetic, not heartless. Yet he knows some of them never will. Sure, Owen’s parents took him to a doctor and he came out with a joint ADHD and autistic diagnosis after Total Drama , but Owen’s parents are exceptional when it comes to Total Drama parents. So is Noah’s mum. Regular teenagers don’t sign up for Total Drama .
When he stumbles onto World Tour , it doesn’t take Noah long to realise his new team member is also probably autistic. Alejandro is a little too perfect, his smiles a little too practised.
He offers people his hand, but never lets others touch him unprompted. His face screws up tight when someone places an arm on his shoulder.
When they are in first class after the Yukon, Alejandro’s eyes are screwed shut tight, his breathing deep but slightly shaky.
Owen and Izzy are having a loud, energetic conversation right next to him.
Noah taps Alejandro on the shoulder, lightly.
Alejandro’s eyes snap open, body coiled like he is ready to snap.
“Here,” Noah says, handing over his headphones. Owen and Izzy’s loudness doesn’t bother him: they’re his friends, they are like background noise to him, but he gets how they can be… a tad overwhelming. “They’re noise-cancelling.”
“Oh,” Alejandro, reaching for them, but uncertainly.
Noah would bet a million dollars that Alejandro has been punished for his autistic traits his whole life.
He just screams repression. He and Courtney are like two peas in a pod.
Anyway. Alejandro Burromuerto is probably autistic, at least in Noah’s unprofessional opinion.
Autistic people simply operate on another frequency, one Noah is acutely attuned to.
Alejandro puts on the headphones, his face smoothing out. His jaw unclenches.
Noah turns away back to his book. Alejandro is too smart. He cannot be trusted.
But a small part of Noah still wants to trust him. There is something earnest under all his layers. Something familiar.
Anyway. The season goes on. Alejandro is a manipulative eel, but he is also wicked smart and funny. People are built from contradictions.
Noah may have a little crush on Alejandro. He still doesn’t trust him.
He holds multitudes. Liking someone and distrusting them are not mutually exclusive.
.
It turns out, in a completely unsurprising turn of events, that Alejandro doesn’t do well when people go off script.
When Noah calls him a slippery eel in London, he snaps, his mask cracking.
It is only by luck that Noah does not go tumbling into the abyss that night.
Well, shit .
The most liked person on this godforsaken plane has his sights set on getting Noah out.
But it takes two people to tango.
.
And tango they do.
Through aliens, through a silent train ride in Melbourne, through a too-close tightrope over Niagara Falls.
All the way to the final seven.
That is where Noah stumbles, thrown out alongside Blainley for the fucking budget .
Alejandro falls a little bit closer to the finale. On the doorstep, the door slammed in his face by Gwen and Courtney.
And then Noah goes up to Alejandro to talk to him, because he really does like Alejandro, slippery eel and all, and then -
You are very pretty.
Alejandro kisses him.
Oh.
It is quite nice actually.
He closes his eyes, leans in and slides his hands into Alejandro’s hair.
Noah could get used to this.
Alejandro is far from perfect. But Noah prefers this Alejandro, with all his hundreds of imperfections.
Noah tilts his head, deepening the kiss.
Alejandro breaks away, sighing. His eyes gleam.
It is the beginning of something wonderful.
.
After Total Drama , Alejandro moves in with his brother Carlos.
It is far from surprising. If Noah ever met the rest of Alejandro’s family, he would have some… words with them.
His boyfriend has started to fidget around Noah more often, sometimes slipping into long, rambly talks about dinosaurs. Still. His trauma is more than skin deep.
Anyway. Alejandro lives in Ottawa. Noah lives in Ottawa. It is all quite serendipitous, actually.
A few months into dating, Noah is watching Jurassic Park with Alejandro. They are curled up on the couch together.
It is more accurate to say that Alejandro is lying on top of Noah, acting as an especially handsome weighted blanket.
Noah doesn’t mind. Alejandro is one of the few people who can touch Noah without Noah wanting to claw his skin off.
Alejandro craves touch. Noah wonders if his parents ever hugged him. Probably not.
Alejandro sighs, sinking into Noah more.
“This is so badly researched,” Alejandro mutters, eyes flickering from the screen to meet Noah’s eyes.
“Of course,” Noah says, “Steven Spielberg should have hired you as a consultant.”
Alejandro laughs, snorting into Noah’s chest. “We weren’t even born yet, amor. But to be the dinosaur movie with so many inaccuracies… it pains me. There have been major developments in palaeontology since 1993, sure. But even then, they knew that velociraptors don’t look like that .” He gesticulates angrily at the TV, wide, sweeping cycles. “This movie just demonises dinosaurs. They are so cool, but no , entertainment is more important than accuracy.”
“The biggest tragedy of the 20th century,” Noah says, being careful to keep the sarcasm out of his voice.
Alejandro has lived his whole life being mocked for his interests. Noah doesn’t want to add to that.
Plus, his boyfriend is cute when he is infodumping… even if he doesn’t know that’s what he’s doing yet.
Noah has got to tell Alejandro about his likely autism. But that’s tomorrow’s problem.
Alejandro beams. “Exactly! Jurassic Park is not as bad as Jaws in terms of material impact, but it has dominated the public imagination on dinosaurs.”
Noah nods. “Do you want to watch another movie?”
Alejandro shakes his head, lying back down until he is plastered onto Noah’s chest. “No,” he says, before falling silent, watching Jurassic Park with daggers in his eyes.
In the end, Alejandro’s perfection had turned out to be a facade.
But that’s alright.
Noah likes the real Alejandro just fine.