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As Stede, Black Pete, and Blackbeard enter Spanish Jackie’s, they hear the sound of glass breaking.
A shout of “L'chaim” can be heard as they walk in the door.
“Ain’t nobody getting married! Stop breaking my bar glasses!” yells Spanish Jackie to the room. She turns around and sees our heroes. “You again? Welcome to our Purim Party.”
Black Pete raises an eyebrow. “Spanish Jackie, you’re not Jewish.”
“You don’t think I’m Jewish?” she spits back.
“Well, I mean, I didn’t say, I didn't m-mean, ahhh,” Black Pete stutters.
“Are you saying Spanish Jackie doesn’t look Jewish?” she asks, really getting in his face.
Stede goes into problem fixing mode. “Well, I think what Black Pete meant to say was…”
“Because I motherfucking look Jewish. There’s no fucking one way to look motherfucking Jewish. Even without conversion, there be lost tribes that look Chinese. There be Ethiopian mother fucking Jews, Steade.”
“Well, we certainly didn’t mean…shalom?”
Spanish Jackie slaps Stede on the back and he jumps. She grins. “Nah….I’m fucking with you. Spanish Jackie isn’t Jewish.”
“Oh. Well then why the party?” asked Stede.
“My 9th Husband, Sephardic Joshua.” Jackie says, and they all look off to where she’s pointing.
“Oh, so he’s actually from Spain!” exclaimed Stede, proud to have made a comment that shows off his worldliness.
“No, he’s from Lithuania,” Spanish Jackie shakes her head, confused why Stede would assume Sephardic Joshua would come from Spain.
Black Pete is the only of the lot who has a good view of Sephardic Joshua. He smiles at him. “I like your weird little hat.”
Stede looks horrified. “You can’t call it a weird little hat! That’s rude!”
“But look at it!” exclaims Black Pete, and Sephardic Joshua comes better into view. It’s a Haman hat. He’s going to play Haman.
Sephardic Joshua takes off his hat and smiles at them. Under the hat is a kippah with a skull and crossbone pattern.
“Oh, I also like that weird little…” Black Pete starts, but is cut off by Stede shushing him.
Spanish Jackie quiets down the room with shushing. “Now, tonight is a very special night. You might say it was different than all other nights, but you’d be wrong, because that would be mother fucking Passover.”
The Swede shoves a plate of Hamantaschen toward his wife. “But it veill be different because we have these triangle cookies I made.”
“Purim cookies, husband,” she corrects him.
“Actually, I believe they’re called Haman-tooo-chan,” corrects Stede.
Spanish Jackie doesn’t dignify that with a response. “Tonight is different because we are celebrating the story of a Queen. Not a pirate queen, but a queen, and she did some badass stuff. And so we all dress in costume and give out treats,” says Spanish Jackie.
Black Pete blinks in confusion. “Costumes?”
Blackbeard finds his way out of his amused silence. “Why else would we all be dressed as pirates?” he smirks.
“Blackbeard gets it,” Jackie grins. “And now for the treats. Who wants a nose?” And she begins to fling noses out to the crowd from her jar.
“Is that even kosher?” asks Black Pete.
Spanish Jackie looks at the nose she’s about to fling. “Not this one. This one belonged to a real pig.”
