Chapter Text
Kim Seungmin is openly against any type of stereotype, but he cannot deny that he fits almost perfectly into the expectations of the word “nerd”. His round-rimmed glasses, loose, comfortable clothes, hair over his forehead, and braces don't do much to hide a good part of who he is. Perhaps his perfectionism with his studies, his obsession with baseball, animation, building toys and specifically Spider-Man also endorse the nerd stereotype he fits into.
In general, Seungmin has made peace with himself long enough to accept his tastes and style without hesitation, but unfortunately that doesn't mean that other people will be receptive to him — and they almost never are. High school was a traumatic experience to say the least, and university has partially followed the same path since the first semester Seungmin stepped on campus. Bullies will never be an endangered species, and ignoring them is usually enough. Except when they wake up inspired.
“Hey, Iron Mouth!”, the tone full of malice is masked by a false sympathy that makes Seungmin's nerves boil. “I want to have lunch at the restaurant on the corner today, but I'm broke. How many won do you have there?”
Jaehyuk approaches with his 1.90 meters, bleached hair, slender body and a surprising amount of ear piercings. Those passing by don't even seem to notice them — or pretend not to, which most people do very well. Seungmin licks his lips and hugs his binder to his chest, as if it were a shield. There's less than a meter of distance between them, and Jaehyuk wouldn't hesitate to use physical force to get what he wants. Seungmin knows this better than anyone.
“I don't have much”, he finally answers.
Visibly dissatisfied, the blonde pokes his cheek with his tongue and extends his hand, raising his eyebrows. It doesn't need to be more explicit than that. Totally humiliated, Seungmin takes his wallet out of his pocket and hands the few notes he has to the engineering veteran. Jaehyuk counts the money at record speed.
“Just that?”, he scoffs with an expression of contempt. “Try harder next time, Iron Mouth. Today I'm going to let it slide because I'm late. Come on, get out of my way”.
Jaehyuk bumps Seungmin with his shoulder as he passes, and the height difference throws him pathetically against the wall. He waits until the blonde is far away to bend down and take out some wons notes from inside his shoe.
“Idiot”, he mutters into space as he puts the money back in his wallet and returns it to the pocket of his dark, baggy jeans at the waist.
Years of bullying prepare Seungmin to survive in the most extreme conditions. It's not something he's proud of, because no one should need to create survival techniques like that, but at least they make his life a little less problematic. Of course, setting aside part of his less-than-robust salary to satisfy bullies and avoid getting punched in the eye is quite inconvenient, but anything is preferable compared to what he knows will happen if he doesn't cooperate.
Although it's hard to believe that some young college students insist on keeping the culture of bullying in full swing, this is a reality that Seungmin can't escape, because: 1) he doesn't have the structures (both physical and psychological) to fight back, 2) practically no one cares if someone is being bullied, and 3) his few friends don't have to deal with that burden, so Seungmin keeps them as far away from it all as possible.
Shaking his head, he walks to the auditorium where he will spend the next two hours listening to his least favorite professor talk about biophysics. Nothing out of the ordinary for any Monday, except that instead of Hyunjin, it's Changbin who waits for him at the auditorium door. The basic black t-shirt almost explodes around his ridiculously muscular biceps, and despite his short stature there is a lot of strength concentrated in that body. Even though he stands against stereotypes, Seungmin has to admit that his friend is the perfect portrait of the traditional physical education student.
Changbin is focused on his cell phone screen, but quickly looks up when he notices Seungmin approaching. He smiles widely, to the point where his chubby cheeks almost make his eyes disappear.
“Hi, puppy. You took your time”, he moves in for a hug that Seungmin tries to avoid, but can't. Despite insisting that he hates physical contact, he is grateful for some affection this morning.
“And you shouldn't be here, Bin”.
“Flattering as always”, the two extricate themselves.
Like most of Seungmin's friendships, he met Changbin thanks to Hyunjin, who in turn knows practically everyone. It's good to be around someone who is more sociable and popular, because not all people are unpleasant. He even has an affectionate nickname, which is quite comforting after hearing so many derogatory names. “Puppy” seemed like an insult at first, but it ended up becoming popular among his group of exactly four friends — six, if you consider those who are friends with their friends and consider Seungmin as a friend too. Working at a pet shop was just the kickoff, but according to Changbin he has “puppy dog eyes” and is “excitable like a needy puppy,” so the nickname was made official.
“If you need a guinea pig for a project, know that I'm not the right guy”, Seungmin adjusts his glasses on the bridge of his nose. “I have the physical resistance of a lettuce”.
“It's nothing like that”, Changbin shakes his head and his black hair follows the movement. “I'm here because a friend needs help and I think you would be the right person”.
“Does your friend also know that I have the physical resistance of a lettuce?”
“No one wants you as a guinea pig, Seungmin”, he rolls his eyes affectionately. “It's quite different from that, actually. But I'll tell you at lunch, more calmly”.
“Tell what more calmly?”
Hyunjin approaches Seungmin from behind and hugs him by the shoulders. He smells like expensive perfume, as always, and his long, dark hair tickles your cheek.
“Hi, Jinnie”.
“Hi, Seungmo. What are you and Changbin up to at this hour?”
“I want to talk to him at lunch about something, nothing confidential. Are you coming with us? Felix and Chris will be there too”, Changbin smiles.
“Of course, count on me. But now we have biophysics and I need Seungmin to pay attention so he can explain it to me later”.
“If you would just try to study more-”
“Yes, yes, you're right, now let's go”, Hyunjin pushes him into the auditorium. “See you later, Binnie”.
“Take care, you two”.
As always, Seungmin sits in one of the first rows, both to hear better and to see better. Hyunjin settles down next to him between mumbles of “I can’t sleep when I’m so close to the teacher”. Of course Seungmin gives him a moral lesson and Hyunjin just squeezes his cheeks and tells him how cute he is. On the one hand, Seungmin understands that the reason his best friend is there is because his parents require a degree, and biology seemed like the least worst option. What Hyunjin really loves is the fine arts, and Seungmin would like to see him dedicate himself exclusively to that instead of it being just a hobby surrounded by guilt. That's why, even when he complains, he never refuses to help Hyunjin study hard enough to pass his exams.
“You can go to the back and sleep if you want”, Seungmin says as he organizes his notes from the last class on the table. “I'll teach you everything later”.
“Serious?”, Hyunjin's eyes practically shine. “You're the best, Seungmo! Wake me up when class is over, please”.
Seungmin nods and watches his friend move to one of the back rows and lie down on his crossed arms. The teacher arrives not long later and his full attention is drawn to the class and his notes. Despite not liking this subject and this specific teacher, Seungmin doesn't measure his efforts. It is easy for him to concentrate and completely immerse himself in the subject, especially since during this period of time he can enjoy some peace.
“We're done for today”, announces old Mr. Yoon after two torturous hours. “Review the topics from our last classes and make sure you're up to date with your studies. I don't think any of you want to end up with headaches at the end of the semester, right?”
Seungmin almost feels angry at the teacher's bitter expression, but it's not like he was wrong in the first place. Still, it's a relief to watch him leave the room. After collecting and putting away his materials, Seungmin wakes Hyunjin up and they leave the campus to meet up with their friends at the usual place.
Their small group usually eats lunch at a convenience store across the street, simply because it's easier. The food inside the university is always more expensive and the short walk gives them a false sense of vitality, so everyone wins. When they enter the establishment, Changbin, Felix and Christopher Bang are already seated at one of the counters located at the back, where customers can have quick meals.
“The usual?”, Seungmin asks his best friend.
Still partially trapped in the dream world, Hyunjin nods and goes to sit down first while Seungmin takes and pays for their food. When he joins the others, he notices that Christopher and Felix are sharing a pack of ramen and Changbin devours a steak, egg and cheese sandwich. It smells a little greasy, but none of them are in a position to judge each other's poor diet.
Seungmin hands Hyunjin a sandwich just like Changbin's and busies himself with opening his triangular tuna and mayonnaise kimbap.
“So, what is so urgent?”, Christopher asks. The Australian music major clearly hasn't slept well in a while, if the dark circles under his eyes are anything to go by.
“It's a matter between me and Minnie, I don't understand why you're so interested!”, Changbin shows his tongue.
“What has to do with Seungmo automatically has to do with us”, Felix drinks the last drop of the ramen broth and looks at Seungmin in the sweet way that makes his heart warm, although his expressions remain neutral. “We can't let our little dog get into anything bad”.
“Don't treat me like I'm a child”, Seungmin complains with his mouth full. Your glasses slide down to the tip of your nose and Hyunjin promptly adjusts them, completely going against your protests.
“Anyway, let's get straight to the point”, Changbin wipes his hands on a napkin. hat's left is the crumbs of your sandwich on the counter. “A friend of mine, Lee Minho, needs help taking care of his cats for the next month. He's going to spend more time at college because of a project, so he'll get home late and someone needs to feed the three little pests”.
“The sunbae from the dance course?”, Hyunjin frowns. “He's quite popular, why doesn't he ask a close friend for help?”
It's not like Seungmin knows popular people other than his own friends, so he hasn't even heard about Minho since he entered university.
“His closest friends must also be busy with their respective projects”, suggests Felix. Australian like Christopher, his accent is very noticeable despite his fluency in Korean. Seungmin thinks it's quite cute. “They’re in their final year, it’s natural that they have very little free time”.
“Exactly”, Changbin nods. “He's so desperate that he started spreading the word around campus that he needs a babysitter for his cats. I said I had the perfect candidate”, he stares at Seungmin with expectant eyes.
“To be honest, it makes sense”, ponders Christopher. “Minnie is studying biology, so she probably knows more about animals than any of us”.
“And he works part-time at a pet shop, so he's used to interacting with them”, adds Changbin, proud of his own insight. “From what Minho hyung told me, he's willing to pay well and the job consists of a quick visit to his apartment every night. Nothing complicated, in general. What do you say, Minnie?”
Four pairs of curious eyes stare at him at the same time, attentive. Seungmin chews the last bit of his kimbap as he ponders. Apparently this won't take up much of his time, which is good, because he needs to study. Plus, extra money is always welcome. Changbin has a good point when he says that he is already used to dealing with animals, after all his daily life at the pet shop basically consists of that. Rationally speaking, there is no reason to refuse.
“That's fine with me”, he replies.
“Excellent! You can work out the details later, then”, Changbin takes his cell phone out of his pocket and all it takes is a few clicks to send his contact information to Minho. “Done!”
“Did you say he has three cats?”, asks Seungmin.
“Yes. Soonie, Doongie and Dori, I think”, Changbin scratches his own chin. “He's always talking about them and has enough photos to spend hours showing them. Believe me, I know from experience”.
“You guys seem close”, Hyunjin observes.
“Our families are friends”, he shrugs. “We practically grew up together, but I hadn't seen him since I was a teenager. It was a surprise when I discovered that we went to the same university”.
“I heard he's quite talked about around there”, Felix leans over the counter in a conspiratorial tone. “He's at almost every party and people tend to like him”.
“Well, he's very handsome”, says Christopher. “And despite his reserved personality, Minho is a kind person in general”.
“I'm not surprised he's popular”, agrees Changbin. “I think it's the natural order of things”.
As the friends embark on a new topic, Seungmin thinks about Changbin's last words. Maybe some people just have what it takes to be popular, and others don't. That doesn't say much about anyone, in the end. Jaehyuk is quite popular and can be an astronomical idiot, for example. Seungmin doesn't want to judge Minho knowing so little about him, but a defensive part of his brain tells him to keep their contact as professional as possible, just in case.
What he needs least are people determined to remind him of what he can never have.
— xXx —
The temperature is around 17 degrees when Seungmin leaves the university and walks to the pet shop where he works. He really likes autumn, especially the mild temperatures and cloudy skies. On the horizon, the day already shows signs of wanting to say goodbye, and Seungmin thinks this is one of the best times to work. Generally the pet shop is busiest in the morning and after lunch, but from mid-afternoon the chances of problems arising are very low.
The Heart Pup is sandwiched between a bookstore and a decoration store. The facade in pastel shades of green and blue attracts a lot of attention and is so adorable that it's funny. The masonry finishes are charming and there are small flower pots balanced on the window sills. As soon as he enters, the little bell above the door sings. From behind the counter, a pair of fox eyes stare at him and a dubious smile greets him.
“Good afternoon, hyung”, says Jeongin. They've known each other for a little over a year, when Seungmin got this part-time job. Since then, they have developed a fraternal relationship that occasionally flirts with mutual hatred.
“Hi, Innie. How are things today?”
“A shit”, he rolls his eyes and closes the magazine he was reading. “Jisung hyung had to leave early because Boris scratched him when Mrs. Myo left him here to take a shower”.
Seungmin suppresses a laugh and walks to the back. There is a discreet door past the rodent food aisle that leads to the employees room. Jeongin accompanies him to the room lit by some fluorescent lamps that cast an almost sickly bluish glow over them. Seungmin opens his locker and puts away his backpack.
“He is fine? Mrs. Myo's cat can be quite temperamental”.
“Manager Kang took him to the hospital”, Jeongin shrugs. “You're usually here when Boris comes, I think he was surprised when Jisung tried to take him out of the box”, he scratches his chin absently. “We don't have any more visitors scheduled for today, so the bath and grooming girls have already left. We just need to attend to those who eventually appear”.
“Ok, I get it”.
After exchanging his hoodie for the baby blue apron with his name embroidered on it and the white cap with caramel-colored ears sewn on the sides, Seungmin waves to Jeongin and they head back to the store. The two have gotten used to their uniforms enough to not laugh in each other's faces, but it's still comical to see Jeongin throwing his furry ears back as if they were his hair. He resumes his place at the counter and sits on the stool behind the cash register, crossing his arms.
“Long day at university?”
“Ah, the usual”, Seungmin organizes some dog treats that are crooked on the shelves. “I think I can get some extra work”.
“What it is?”, Jeongin returns to leafing through the same magazine as before, although his attention is all on Seungmin.
“A sunbae needs someone to take care of their cats for a month. I don't have the details yet, but if everything goes well I'll be able to get some extra money”.
“You could take me to eat meat”, Jeongin hums, raising his eyebrows.
“And why would I do that?”
“‘Cause I'm your dongsaeng and you're a good hyung?”
“Nice try, brat”.
They engage in banal conversations while Seungmin puts the store in order and Jeongin does what he always does: he doesn't move a muscle unless it's extremely necessary. Some customers show up looking for food and toys, and others schedule baths and grooming appointments for the next few days. When it's close to closing time, a woman with an especially hyperactive dalmatian walks in. She asks where she can find new collars and Seungmin leads the way. The dalmatian jumps around and he readily interacts with the dog. The two quickly understand each other and it doesn't take long until Seungmin is practically rolling with the dalmatian on the floor.
The client leaves minutes later, satisfied with the new collar, and the dog seems happy to have made a new friend.
“You're really good at this”, says Jeongin. He moves almost automatically as he closes the cash register.
“What?”, Seungmin brought the cleaning materials from the storage room and started mopping the floor so that everything is clean for the next day.
“The animals”, he explains. “You have a way with them. I don't think anyone has shown any dislike for you since you started working here, be it dog, cat, bird, lizard or rodent”.
“Oh. Hm… thanks?”, Seungmin removes the excess water from the mop and starts cleaning the next hallway. “I don't know how to react to that. It is generally easier to deal with animals than people”.
“You know that makes you a weirdo, right?”
“Shut up and come help me, you bastard”.
Side by side, the two finish cleaning the pet shop and lock everything before leaving. They walk together to the nearest bus stop and board, chatting pleasantly. Jeongin gets off two stops earlier, and during the last minutes of the trip Seungmin receives a message from an unknown number.
[Unknown - 7:12 pm]
Hello! You're Kim Seungmin, right? Changbin-ah gave me your number
I’m Lee Minho :)
Seungmin didn't expect to talk to him so soon, to be honest, but the sooner he irons out the details, the better.
[You - 7:12 pm]
Hello, Minho-ssi. Yes it's me! Changbin hyung said you need help taking care of your cats.
[Lee Minho - 7:13 pm]
Exactly. For the next month I will be home late, long after the time they usually eat. Therefore, I need you to come to my apartment from Monday to Friday, at 8 pm sharp, to feed them and play with them a little so they don't feel so alone
Well, it seems pretty easy, Seungmin thinks. Plus, he gets off work at seven, which means he'll have time to get to Minho's apartment on time.
[Lee Minho - 7:13 pm]
I'll leave the food on the kitchen counter so you just need to serve it. Toys are always scattered everywhere, it won't be difficult to find them
I will send some photos
Seungmin needs to put away his cell phone, because it's his time to get off the bus. He walks along the sidewalk, bathed in streetlights, to the small six-story residential building. The elevator would be a good option, but Seungmin still prefers to use the stairs to the second floor. He types the door combination and enters, greeted by silence and Pochacco's plush looking at him from the sofa, with open arms. He plops down next to his faithful companion before checking his phone again.
Minho sent a photo of each cat with their names in the caption and their ages. Soonie is the oldest and the first to be adopted. The orange and white fur and her big green eyes make her look friendly. Doongie has the same coloring as his sister, but her eyes have a golden hue and Seungmin assumed that she looks the grumpiest. The last one, Dori, besides being the youngest, is the only one with dark fur. In the photo that Minho sent, she is wearing a small black beret and a red bow around her neck, looking pompous. Seungmin smiles.
[You - 7:20 PM]
They look adorable!
[Lee Minho - 7:21 PM]
Doongie is the most reserved, but none of them are aggressive, so I think you won't have any problems. I offer weekly payment
Changbin wasn't kidding when he said Minho would pay well. Seungmin stares at his cell phone and thinks that with the proposed price he will finally be able to pay off his Switch. He officially accepts the job and Minho gives him both his address and door combination. Before taking a shower to finally rest, Seungmin marks the first of October on the calendar stuck to the fridge and draws a kitten in the small square available.
— xXx —
The end of September runs before Seungmin's eyes. As soon as October dawns, cold and cloudy, he spends all day with anxiety itching in his stomach. He hadn't talked to Minho much in the last few weeks, but the night before his new boss checked to see if everything was ready for the next day and Seungmin assured him that it was.
Even though his role is not at all complex, there are butterflies in the stomach of starting something new. Seungmin focuses on his regular activities throughout the day, but instead of taking the usual bus after work, he uses the subway to get to Minho's apartment. In front of the door, Seungmin takes a deep breath and dries his sweat-damp hands on his light jeans. He has memorized the code for the electronic lock, and each key beep echoes in his brain.
As soon as he enters, the first thing he notices is the silence. There's a switch within reach and Seungmin finds three pairs of curious eyes staring at him, static, when the apartment lights up. Soonie, Doongie, and Dori are on the living room couch, judging the intruder, but they don't seem inclined to attack him. Seungmin stands still for about two minutes, giving the cats the opportunity to get used to his presence. Slowly, he closes the door behind him and takes a few steps forward.
Minho's apartment is simple and well organized. There are cat toys scattered around the living room, but Seungmin is sure there's no point in trying to tidy them up. A narrow hallway leads to what appears to be the bedroom and bathroom, and the living room is separated from the kitchen by a counter, on which are three cat sachets, exactly where Minho said he would leave them. The bowls sit side by side near the window, along with a slightly larger one that is filled with water.
“Well, let's do it”, Seungmin sighs. He turns to face the three Powerpuff Girls, who follow his every move with their big eyes. “My name is Seungmin. Your father asked me to come here, so please be gentle with me, will you?”
He knows it seems stupid to talk alone to animals that can't respond to him in the same way, but by the way the three kittens' ears twitch, Seungmin knows that they understand him, one way or another. He makes sure to move calmly so as not to scare them as he opens the sachets and serves the bowls, one by one. Dori is the first to jump off the couch and approach, sniffing. When she sees that Seungmin didn't give her anything toxic, she starts eating. Her sisters copy her and what remains are the sounds of the cats feeding.
Seungmin sits on the couch and takes his backpack off his back. Forcing an approach on the first day isn't very smart, so after taking a photo of the cats eating and sending it to Minho, he busies himself with picking up his books and notebooks and starting to study. Reviewing the contents makes him relax, and as the cats finish eating, they each settle in a spot, still watching him, but they seem less judgmental now that their bellies are full.
Silence is good, especially after a busy day. The apartment smells faintly of sandalwood and the soft sofa practically hugs him, so it's easy to get comfortable. About twenty minutes pass until Seungmin feels a ball of hair on his ankles. He looks away from his notes and finds Dori rubbing against his leg, purring softly. She looks up at him with big eyes and tilts her head slightly, looking sweet.
“If you're thanking me for the food, you're welcome”, Seungmin smiles and adjusts his glasses on his face. “At least you know I'm not a threat, right?”
Dori jumps onto the couch and lies down next to him, curled up. Her ears twitch as Doongie approaches with careful steps. She measures Seungmin up and down, and if she were human she would probably be frowning. “Doongie is the most reserved,” Minho said.
“You'll have to get used to it”, Seungmin shrugs. “I'm going to show up here for a month, even if you don't like me”.
Doongie meows, and it almost sounds like an evil laugh.
“We don't need to fight”, he insists. “I want to get along with you. Dori doesn't hate me, does she?”
To confirm his hypothesis, Seungmin dips his fingers into Dori's neck, who quickly gives him space to caress her as much as he wants. The younger kitten purrs again and turns over onto her back, quite overwhelmed by the attention. She extends her front paws and grabs Seungmin's wrist, forbidding him to move away.
This time it's Soonie who meows. She jumps onto the arm of the sofa with a little green ball in her mouth, her thin tail wagging from side to side. With his free hand, Seungmin hesitates for a moment, but carefully takes the ball out of her mouth and throws it on the floor. There is a little bell inside it, and the sound seems to pull her to get the ball back. She climbs onto the couch again, with the toy between her teeth, and Seungmin repeats the process of throwing it and waiting for her to catch it.
This all lasts around ten minutes. Dori purrs as she is petted and Soonie seems content to take the ball again and again. It's cute how she pats the toy sometimes before grabbing it between her teeth. Doongie remains slightly suspicious, but gives up and lies on the floor, just watching. Soonie inevitably gets tired. She settles on the back of the sofa right behind Seungmin's head and looks at her notes over her shoulder with her ears pricked up, curious. He uses his now free hand to continue studying. It doesn't take long for Dori to fall asleep too.
This is a nice arrangement for the first day. Despite his skill with animals, it would be a lie if he said he expected two of the three cats to be so receptive quickly. Or they simply feel very alone, which would be a very plausible reason. His cell phone vibrates in his pocket.
[Lee Minho - 8:40 PM]
Thank you for feeding them. How are things?
Seungmin opens the camera and takes a selfie. Soonie is almost resting her chin on his shoulder, and the way her bright eyes are drooping betrays that very soon she will be asleep. He also sends a photo of Dori napping next to him and Doongie lying on the floor three feet away, analyzing him. Minho responds with a cat emoji and a red heart.
Back to studying, Seungmin is surprised by how productive he is managing to be, despite the tiredness of the day. The company of cats is pleasant, because in addition to the silence there is comfort in the position they are in. He doesn't feel alone, and he knows that despite any skepticism — ironically, Doongie meows exactly when he thinks about it — none of them will harm him, or they would have already threatened to scratch him, at the very least. For the first contact, it can be said that it was quite promising.
It's around ten when he decides to leave. Seungmin puts away his materials and gets up from the couch carefully so as not to wake the sleeping cats, but they still stretch and jump to the floor. The two follow him to the front door, and Dori lets out an upset meow when he puts his hand on the doorknob.
“See you tomorrow”, Seungmin promises. In the distance, Doongie is perched in the same spot that he was previously sat in and gives him a challenging look. “Be good, you three”.
He leaves with a stupid smile on his face.
— xXx —
The following weeks were calmer than Seungmin expected. Taking care of Minho's cats fit perfectly into his routine, because it's easy to study in their company, and having a little peace after having to deal with human beings all day is refreshing to say the least. During the first two weeks, Doongie remained distant and suspicious, but her sisters' approach encouraged her to give Seungmin a chance. Little by little she closed the distance between them, until one night she deliberately lay on his lap and Seungmin had confirmation that she doesn't hate him.
He made sure to send Minho several photos every day, and the responses showed that, in addition to loving his cats very much, he is a pleasant person in general. Payments were made punctually and Minho allowed Seungmin to take some special treats from the pet shop where he works from time to time to pamper the cats. The arrangement has become quite domestic, and thinking that it is nothing more than something temporary causes Seungmin some sadness.
“You and Minho sunbae can become friends”, says Hyunjin. The two are in the library during a free time after lunch.
“Unlikely”, he shrugs and takes off his glasses to clean the lenses with the hem of his brown sweater. “We're only talking because I take care of his cats temporarily. Of course, I'll miss them when it's all over, but that's life”.
Hyunjin wrinkles his nose. He's never hidden his disgust at the way Seungmin overly rationalizes things from time to time. It's a good defense mechanism most of the time, but the main side effect is that he has become a non-believer in terms of affection.
“Come on, you two already talk regularly. It's more than half the battle”, argues Hyunjin. He has a zoology book open on his desk, but to say he's paying attention to it would be a fallacy. “Minho sunbae seems cool, right? Besides, what's the harm in making new friends?”
Seungmin puts on his glasses again and makes a face.
“If you want to spend less time with me, just tell me, Jinnie. I won't be upset”.
Hyunjin rolls his eyes and throws his hair back.
“That's not what this is about, you idiot”, he sticks out his tongue. “I just think it might be good for you to open up a little more to new people. I just think it might be good for you to open up a little more to new people. We love having you around, but we also care about your habits. You're very reserved, which isn't necessarily a bad thing, but... it seems like you're afraid of meeting people”.
Seungmin feels like Hyunjin hit the nail on the head, but tries not to show it — at least not too much. He doesn't remember exactly when he started closing himself off to new experiences, but he knows his high school education had a lot to do with it. University bullying endorses your baggage, but it's not really the source of the problem.
“Seungmin-ah, you're very silly”, there was a smile on Myungjae's lips, but it didn't reach his eyes. He looked hard and cold, so forced that you could see all his facial muscles trying to keep him there. “I didn't let you eat meals alone because I have pity in my heart. But going out with you? I think this is too much. We can be colleagues here at school, but outside of it we need to set limits”.
And Seungmin, in turn, understood. He understood that despite good intentions, Myungjae was never really friends with him. He understood that he needed to stop assuming that people just liked him, because there was no way to guarantee that that would happen. He understood that he can no longer wait for something genuinely good.
“Oh. Right. Sorry for the inconvenience”, he replied, bowing. His eyes burn, but Seungmin doesn't want to risk looking even more pathetic, so he swallows back the tears. “I took things the wrong way. It's not going to happen again”.
“Just don't think nonsense next time, okay?” Myungjae pats him on the shoulder, but is not comforting. “Now, about that math lesson… Do you think you can help me?”
Seungmin could simply deny it, but if he doesn't help Myungjae who will he spend the next break with? Furthermore, he himself said that the two can have a good relationship within the school, so… so be it.
“Of course. I'll help you finish your homework before afternoon classes”.
“Thank you, Minnie. You're kind of cool”.
Myungjae smiles again, and even though it seems more genuine, it still makes Seungmin feel nauseous.
There's a lucid part of his brain that says nothing related to his past defines who he is, but it would be foolish not to consider how much influence past events have on the way he feels and behaves. It's not like Seungmin liked being so reclusive in the first place. He thinks it would be fun to go out more, have more people to talk to, and maybe allow himself to like someone romantically. But all of this is just… very scary. And it includes variables which he doesn't want to pay to try it.
Avoiding possible injuries should be a smart self-preservation strategy, but none of that makes Seungmin feel truly satisfied. Still, it's the only safe option for now.
“It's not fear”, he lies. His hands quickly get busy making notes and leafing through the zoology book open in front of Hyunjin, definitely taking possession of it. “I just don't like exposing myself very much, I guess. I'm fine with the amount of friends I currently have, so I'm not interested in being close to more people. I prefer to keep my relationship with Minho–ssi strictly professional”.
“I still think this is an exaggeration”, Hyunjin stares at him intently, but his eyes are soft. He's never been in the habit of putting too much pressure on Seungmin, but he likes to make it clear what he thinks about the situation. “Anyway, as long as you're okay, really okay, I won't interfere”.
Seungmin is grateful for this, and smiles to show how he feels. The two sink into a comfortable silence, in which while one studies, the other — Hyunjin — decides to take a nap. As his friend falls asleep, Seungmin lets out a breath he didn't even realize he was holding.
— xXx —
During his last week babysitting Lee Minho's cats, Seungmin decided to buy dinner on the way to the apartment and eat it together with his three new friends. He wondered how he hadn't been able to think of this before, because usually his meals outside of college are quite lonely, and the company of the hotties is really comforting. On the other hand, Seungmin regrets his new habit a little, because he knows that when his work ends, he will miss them much more. There's no way he won't think about Dori trying to steal food from him, Soonie being adorable in hopes of getting a piece of what he has, or Doongie simply sitting on his lap and putting his nose in his plate.
Working at the pet shop made Seungmin learn not to get too attached to the pets, because they don't stay forever. However, there is a stark difference between seeing the same animals once or twice a week, depending on how often they visit the store for bathing, and spending time every night, from monday to friday, with the same three kittens for a whole month.
During his texts messages with Minho, the sunbae made it clear that he wouldn't mind if Seungmin visited them whenever he wanted, but it's not in his nature to do so. He doesn't want to bother and become present in Minho's life and home, since initially his presence there was literally paid for. It doesn't feel natural, and Seungmin can almost see Hyunjin rolling his eyes and saying that he's being stupid for thinking like that. Either way, it's better to separate things.
It's Seungmin's last Friday taking care of the cats, and they seem to feel like they won't see him again after this. Dori is needier than usual, and after they had dinner Soonie forced him to play with her with almost all the toys available — which are not few. Doongie, in turn, did something unprecedented: she purred in Seungmin's lap. Even though they eventually became friends, she was never so openly affectionate until then. Maybe he shed a tear or two over that, but who can blame him?
As usual, Seungmin took advantage of his last moments there to study. Minho hasn't yet responded to his messages with photos of the kittens eating and playing, but considering that he's probably finishing that month's project, Seungmin chose not to think too much about it. He has his face buried in an immunology book while Dori sleeps next to him on the couch, her head on his thigh. Doongie squeezed into his lap and as always Soonie lay on the back of the couch, with her chin on his shoulder. The tiredness of the day hits him hard, and the scent of sandalwood that seems to permeate the apartment has never made him so drowsy. Being surrounded by the sleeping purrs of cats and snuggled on the soft upholstery of the sofa doesn't help him much either.
When his eyes start to get heavy, Seungmin reminds himself that this isn't his house and that he should do his work and leave, so sleeping there would be extremely unprofessional. However, when he tries to move, Doongie lets out an indignant meow and sinks further into his lap. Seungmin's already sleepy body can't resist it, and he's dozing off before he knows it.
Maybe minutes or hours have passed, there's no way of knowing. But what wakes him up is the sound of the front door opening and closing, followed by hurried footsteps and the sounds of heavy breathing. Groaning, Seungmin opens his eyes and blinks a few times. There's a blur at the entrance to the room that his vision struggles to identify, but when the image comes into focus he stifles a scream.
He only recognizes Minho from his profile photo on the messaging app, but can identify him from behind, wearing a simple black t-shirt and light jeans. The gym bag he carries on his shoulder slips and falls to the floor while he is busy groping every inch of the boy's body with whom he exchanges desperate kisses. They devour each other's mouths and Seungmin watches as the stranger's hands wander under Minho's shirt, making him moan. The sound fills the empty apartment and cuts through the torpor with the same violence as a kick.
Doongie is the first to wake up after Seungmin. She stretches and sits on his lap, staring at the scene with her best judgmental gaze. Dori stirs not long after, and Soonie follows suit. Perhaps it was the weight of four pairs of eyes on the “couple” that made the unknown boy notice them. He jumps and pushes Minho until they are a decent distance away from each other. Seungmin notices a red mark on his neck and the well-defined erection in his sweatpants makes his cheeks heat up.
Confused, Minho mumbles what sounds like “what is it?”, and his partner points over his shoulder. When he turns around and comes face to face with Seungmin, his eyes widen and the muscles in his broad shoulders visibly tense. The silence returns, this time boiling with embarrassment. The cats seem completely oblivious to what's going on because they just go back to snuggling. Doongie suddenly starts kneading bread on Seungmin's thighs, who in turn wants to explode and disappear in the form of cosmic dust.
Of course, Minho is not to blame for this compromising situation. This is his house, and Seungmin should certainly have left by now, but he fell asleep and completely lost track of time. What was supposed to be a simple job turned into a huge mess on the last day. None of them know what to say and they all seem afraid to make any sudden movements, but Seungmin knows he's the only intruder there, so he clumsily picks up the book that fell to the floor during his nap, puts it in his backpack and gently takes Doongie out of his lap, although she tries to cling to him at all costs.
As he stands up, Seungmin feels the two boys looking at him, but he keeps his own eyes down so as not to show his desire to throw himself onto the first avenue he finds and wait for a truck to put an end to all the shame he is feeling. He says goodbye to each of the cats with a pat between their soft ears and they follow him to the front door. Seungmin puts his hand on the doorknob and doesn't turn around when he speaks:
“I'm sorry, I lost track of time”, it's a surprise that he's not stuttering, but the embargo in his voice is clear. “Uh… carry on with what you were doing, I guess. Goodbye. Sorry”.
When he leaves and closes the door behind him, the last thing he can hear is a tearful meow that appears to be Dori's. Seungmin returns home unable to look into the eyes of any human being who crosses his path, and the only thing he can think about is the surprise in Lee Minho's eyes and how that was by far the most embarrassing moment of his entire life.