Work Text:
Carlos returns to the precinct after safely bringing Lily home. The young woman thanked him repeatedly for rescuing her from the food truck full of scorpions and the lava encroaching. He hadn't had the time to react at the moment but the memory now makes him shudder and his skin crawl as he pulls into the parking lot. He sits in the quiet car for a moment listening only to his own breathing, taking a little bit of time for himself before he goes to see whatever chaos is undoubtedly happening inside for everyone on this nightmarish shift.
“Dispatch requesting additional engine and RA units to relieve station 126 at 4548 Green Street.”
The small amount of calm that Carlos managed to grab onto is gone as soon as he hears the station number over the radio.
No. This can't be happening. They definitely said ‘relieve’ right? Maybe they meant ‘assist’. Relieve means–
Carlos cuts himself off from thinking any further and closes his eyes, trying to keep his breathing steady. When he opens his eyes again he sees that he's clutching the steering wheel in front of him so hard his knuckles are white. He makes the effort to loosen his grip but doesn't completely let go.
He has less than an hour of his shift to get through. There's reports to file that would take up that time. He knows this, but that all seems so pointless if TK and the rest of his friends aren't okay. Obviously they're not okay, something terrible just happened to someone on that call.
As always, Carlos's first reaction is to try to help however he can. He thinks about driving to the address given over dispatch or even to the firehouse, but then admits to himself that as far as his job duties go, he would probably be completely useless at the scene. He doesn't fully know the protocols of the fire department, so he might not be welcome at the firehouse right now either.
As he sits in his dark patrol car, unable to think of what to do, his mind begins to supply him with worst case scenarios. The memories of TK lying still in a hospital bed last year, even more memories of some of the worst accidents he's seen at his job come to the forefront of his mind unbidden, only it's his friends in the place of those victims. He can't breathe suddenly, it's like all the air in the car has been sucked out by a vacuum. He begins to practice some of the grounding techniques that Michelle taught him long ago, when she first learned them in her medical training. He tightens his hands around the steering wheel again, this time focusing on how the lines in the rubber grips feel under his fingertips. He takes more deep breaths, making an effort to completely empty his lungs with every exhale and fill them back up slower each time.
When he feels a bit calmer, and he's blinked away the few tears that clouded his eyes. Carlos takes out his phone intending to text or call TK, beg him to tell him he’s okay, but then just stares at it. TK definitely can't answer right now if the call just came through dispatch. Just like last year when TK got shot, Carlos wanted to follow after the ambulance immediately, but he has a responsibility to finish his shift and he already established it's probably not the best idea to just show up at the firehouse right now. How do you even say this kind of thing over a text or on a voicemail, anyway? And then what if TK's also hurt and can't answer at all?
What if TK was the one. What if he never answers.
Carlos's stomach twists like he might throw up at the possibility and more tears sting his eyes. TK can't be the one that was killed on that call. Even though it's entirely impossible to know for sure, Carlos feels like he knows this in his heart. That if TK were fatally hurt, his soul would know immediately that something was wrong in the world.
Carlos looks at the blank screen one more time, his fear stopping him from bringing up TK's number. He turns the volume of his phone all the way up and shoves the phone back in his pocket. He trusts that TK, or someone, will let him know when they can. He really does need to finish his work and he'll decide what to do if he doesn't hear from anyone by then.
Nobody talks to him when he goes inside and sits down at his desk. Part of him wonders if everyone is busy or if he looks like he's not in the mood to talk at all. It's most likely a bit of both. Carlos fills in his reports robotically, triple checking them even though he's probably still making mistakes that his mind can't even focus on catching. As he scans them into the system, he looks up at the clock on the wall for the first time since he sat down at his desk and sees that his shift is over.
He slips out the back door and around the corner, then begins pacing the side of the building as he tries to gather his thoughts and call TK. He has his phone out and he is staring at it again when it starts to ring. Carlos presses the green button and has the phone to his ear before he even fully registers that his boyfriend's name and photo are on the screen. “TK?”
“Hi,” TK sighs through the phone and the instant relief Carlos feels hits him so hard he has to lean back against the wall.
“Oh my God, when I heard through dispatch. I– I didn't know what to do.” Carlos's voice sounds desperate to his own ears.
TK gasps softly. “Oh baby, I promise I'm okay. I’m sorry you heard that way, that’s awful. I don't have a lot of time right now. I'm in a corner of the locker room on my way to shower. I just really…I wanted to hear your voice.” TK’s voice shakes just a little as he says the last few words and Carlos’s heart aches for him.
“Yeah, I needed to hear yours too. Thank you for calling.”
Carlos doesn’t ask what happened, because he already knows what happened, for the most part. Maybe TK doesn't want to talk about it yet anyway. Instead, he just says ”I'm so sorry.”
TK draws another slightly shaky breath. “We lost Tim. So we all got pulled from our shift, even though we were only like halfway through this twenty-four. We all still have to wait around to talk to the board for their reports though… You’re done with your shift now right? You’re okay?”
Carlos feels the corner of his lip twitch with the ghost of a smile, he can at least give his boyfriend this little bit of comfort and reassurance. “Yeah, I’m okay, much better now that I heard from you.”
The events of the rest of his shift now seem like they happened so long ago. “I'll be on my way home soon. Do you think you can come over? Or I could come to yours or the firehouse, whatever you need. I just want to be wherever you are.”
“Yeah, I’ll come to your place. I don't know when that'll be but I want to be with you tonight too.” After another deep sigh TK says, “I gotta go but I'll text you when we’re done here, kay? I love you.”
“Okay, I love you too.”
The call ends and Carlos lowers the phone to his side. He rubs his other hand through his hair and down his face. The good feeling he had upon hearing TK’s voice is draining away and he can feel the anxiety and worry taking over again. Much less than before, but he instinctively knows it won't completely go away until he sees his boyfriend with his own eyes and can wrap him up in his arms. Soon, he promises himself.
As Carlos packs his uniform shirt and other belongings in his bag in the locker room he tries to make sense of the tangled mess of his feelings. He feels so much lighter knowing that TK's alright. Honestly he's a little upset with himself over just how relieved he is that his boyfriend wasn't hurt. But he's still sad that Tim is gone and for what everyone at the 126 is going through right now..
He realizes suddenly that he should probably call Michelle and make sure she knows. Tim was really more of a casual acquaintance to Carlos. They had had friendly conversations when they were both invited out by Michelle or when they crossed paths at work. Actually, he probably learned more about him from Michelle’s work stories than anywhere else. He knew his friend cared a lot about her paramedic team when she worked at the 126. She had only just started her new job and would definitely want to know what happened. It was late now, so Carlos could give himself some time to figure out how to have that conversation. It would be better anyway when his thoughts weren't focused on worrying about TK anymore. He resolves to call her first thing in the morning as he walks out to his car.
Carlos knows he should eat something but when he gets home and goes to the fridge, none of the food he has looks even remotely appealing. He grabs a bottle of mineral water that TK started buying for his house and takes a few sips before setting it on the counter. For a while, he just stares at a small imperfection in the label. When his thoughts begin to spiral to worst case scenarios again, he makes himself go upstairs with the water and his phone, setting both down on a nightstand before he goes to the dresser to change his clothes. He's only slipped on a pair of shorts when his phone chimes and he nearly dives across the bed to get to it as quickly as possible.
It’s from his mom. It's not the person he wanted to hear from but he smiles a little anyway. He's not surprised, she usually checks in on him when anything requiring first responders or a police presence in Austin makes the news. Mijo, please tell me you’re okay.
He quickly sends a message back confirming that he is fine and safe at home. Thankfully, his parents are in Houston visiting Luisa for a few days and the family ranch is on the west side of the city, away from the destruction caused by the volcano.
Carlos drops his phone on the bed after getting another reply from his mom and looks across at TK's pillows. He always leaves them stacked chaotically and more rumpled than the ones on Carlos's side. For a moment, he thinks about curling up on the bed and holding one of TK's pillows until he can replace it with the man it belongs to. But that feels just a little too pathetic right now, so he goes back downstairs looking for another distraction.
He washes and dries the few dishes in the sink by hand just because it takes longer. Next, he takes a load of laundry out of the dryer but when he finds a shirt of TK’s he ends up clutching it in his fist as another wave of mild panic rolls through him. Even though he knows TK’s okay now, the possibility that he could have lost him tonight still has him shaken up. Pull yourself together he thinks. TK is going to need him to not fall apart when he gets here. Carlos wants to be able to provide whatever comfort his boyfriend wants and needs tonight.
He leaves the clean clothes in the basket and turns off the lights downstairs except for the small light over sink in the kitchen and the hallway light at the top of the stairs. Carlos slowly climbs the stairs, resigned to get ready for bed even though he knows he won't sleep until TK arrives. His phone breaks the silence and he startles at the noise.
I'm on my way. The message from TK reads.
Finally, Carlos thinks, and the ache in his chest eases some more. He turns and sits down on the step right where he was standing and stares at the front door. All his thoughts focused on the fact that TK will be walking in, safe and sound, in a few minutes.
Carlos lays his phone on the step next to him. He doesn't even think to reply. TK is probably driving and might not even see it anyway. His heart rate picks up a little as he sees headlights come to a stop and then turn off outside, only this time it's due to anticipation instead of anxiety.
He stays seated on the stairs when he hears the key turn in the lock. Carlos notices TK’s shoulders drop in relief when he looks up at him from the doorway. Carlos's own body copies the motion and it feels like he lets out the breath that he had unconsciously been holding for hours.
TK sits down between his legs as Carlos opens his arms, catching him and wrapping his arms around him as TK draws a shaky breath. Carlos presses his lips to the top of his boyfriend's head as TK leans into him, wrapping his own arms around Carlos's right. They stay just like that for what seems like a long time, Carlos breathes in the eucalyptus shampoo and the light scent of smoke that often lingers in TK’s hair after a long and busy shift. He savors the heaviness of his boyfriend's body against his chest, the feeling of TK's soft hair against his face and TK's warm breath against his bicep. They're both here, safe and at home with each other.
“Do you feel like eating anything?” Carlos whispers eventually, breaking the silence.
TK shakes his head against Carlos's shoulder.
“Me neither, let's go to bed then, okay?”
TK still says nothing but does begin to slowly get up. He runs his hand down Carlos’s arm to link their fingers together and Carlos holds on tight as they walk to the bedroom.
TK begins to undress for bed and Carlos lets go of him only to take off the black t-shirt and socks he was still wearing from work. He quickly crosses the room to put them in the hamper. When he turns back around, TK is laying on the bed in only his white t-shirt and blue boxers. The normalcy of the view is a welcome one on a night where it seems like the world, or at least his own, could have ended.
Carlos slides into bed and TK immediately pulls the blanket over them both. He rolls to lay on Carlos’s chest, resting his chin on one hand so they can see each other's faces. TK looks at him with sad green eyes and reaches to push a stray lock of hair off Carlos's forehead.
“How was your shift?”
“Crazy,” Carlos summarizes, because he wasn't really expecting him to ask. “Mostly evacuating different neighborhoods, then I was on patrol and rescued a woman from her food truck that was full of scorpions that were also trying to get away from a lava flow. And then I had just gotten back to the precinct with less than an hour left when I heard the call over dispatch about your crew.”
TK nods sympathetically. “That had to really suck, hearing about it over dispatch.”
“It did. They didn't say what happened or who got hurt over the radio, obviously, but asking for a crew to be relieved never means anything good.” Carlos begins rubbing TK’s back, comforting both of them.
TK closes his eyes and takes a deep breath before speaking. “It was really bad. The volcano opened up in the pool of a frat house and it seemed like there were injured people and fiery things everywhere. It's kind of a miracle that more of us weren't hurt. Tim and my dad were right next to each other helping somebody who was injured.
“My dad sounded so strange calling for help over the radio. I don't think I've ever heard him sound shocked like that. And there was nothing we could do, you know? Nancy was so upset that we should have been working on him but there wasn't–” TK stops talking with a shake of his head and Carlos pulls him into a tight hug.
“I'm so sorry, baby,” Carlos whispers, tucking TK's head under into the crook of his neck and kissing his temple.
“I feel guilty. I'm relieved it wasn't my dad and I didn't even know Tim that well. My dad could have been hit so easily and I hate that I'm relieved it was someone else.”
“Me too, about feeling guilty, I mean. I was so worried about you. Baby, you have no idea how relieved I was when you called me.” The memory of how panicked he was when he first heard makes Carlos shiver.
TK rearranges himself to fully lay on top of him like a blanket. Carlos feels himself go boneless as TK runs his hands along the tops of Carlos's shoulders and arms, dotting light kisses across his collar bones. “I'm here now. We're gonna be okay.”
“Yeah, love you,” Carlos replies sleepily, the exhaustion from the day taking over. He doesn't want to sleep yet, in case TK needs him or wants to talk about it more. But TK seems to hear the tiredness in his voice.
“Go to sleep, baby. I love you too.” TK kisses him before settling down and with his head pillowed on one hand on Carlos's chest again. Carlos squeezes his arms around his love one more time, as if to say ‘don't go anywhere’ before he finally falls asleep.