Chapter Text
It was so unexpected.
Hyunjin never would have guessed that Jimin had invited him out on a romantic candlelight dinner just to dump him. She had dressed up so nicely, too, smiling and laughing as she grabbed onto his arm.
He had been thrilled when she surprised him, sentimental when he found out they were eating where they had their first date. The past couple of weeks have been rough. This was supposed to be a night where they celebrated their love for each other.
Now, Hyunjin stares at the cutlery in front of him, the sounds of people dining around him muffled. He can’t seem to find the right words to say.
“I’m sorry,” Jimin says, her tone sad, but Hyunjin has the inkling that she doesn't mean it. “I felt it was best to tell you now. I don’t want to continue anything and…cheat on you.”
Oh, right. The other man.
“When?” Hyunjin asks gravely. Finally looking up at her, it feels like his heart breaks into pieces when he notes the grin on her face. “When did this happen?”
Clearing her throat, “I didn’t…We didn’t do anything, okay? I haven’t done anything like that,” she attempts to clarify. But the words are meaningless because Hyunjin has known her for two years, dated her for half a year. He knows exactly when she lies; it’s obvious with the way her fingers come to nervously fidget with her earring or her necklace.
Hyunjin sighs. He doesn’t want to hear it. He can’t. The night he had imagined was now turning out to be the complete opposite. “Jimin,” he calls for her. It’s different this time. Now, with his frustration slipping through the cracks, he stresses, “ Jimin , I said how long?”
His girlfriend, well ex-girlfriend now, stares at him in shock, like she didn’t expect Hyunjin to get this worked up. Or maybe she realizes that she can’t lie any longer.
“Jinnie,” she starts, but when she feels the weight of Hyunjin’s gaze, she corrects herself, “Hyunjin, I…”
Hyunjin is tempted to storm off, but he can’t seem to find the will to move. He hangs on to her words, desperate to know. But she keeps stalling. “Jimin.”
“A-a month,” Jimin squeaks out, quick and sharp. It takes a couple of seconds before she freezes, like she is only now realizing exactly what she just admitted to.
“You..” Hyunjin struggles. The hot sensation of betrayal is burning up his chest, his lungs. He feels the anger bubble and grow.
With the confusion clouding his mind, Hyunjin can’t help but think that this is karma. When they had gotten together, Jimin had just left a two year relationship. It was fresh and sore, and Hyunjin knew just how much it stung. Hyunjin had welcomed her with open arms into his life, as he had just left his own relationship. In a way, he felt like he stole Jimin away. Although the situation has been dealt with and forgotten, Hyunjin can’t help but think of it.
“The past really does repeat itself, huh?”
Jimin looks taken aback, eyes searching his. “This-this is different.”
“Is it?” Hyunjin chuckles, his fists clenching at his sides. “Is it really that different?”
“He-What he did was different, okay?” Jimin says sternly, her volume increasing enough for the couple beside them to look over in curiosity.
But, Hyunjin doesn’t want to make a scene, so he leans on the table with his elbows and moves forward. “He left you, and you are leaving me. Forgive me for not noticing how similar you two are when it comes to these things.”
He finds some satisfaction in seeing her stutter. All this time, these days and nights, dates, gifts, kisses…all for her to throw it away for a guy she just met. But what makes it worse is the fact that she’s been acting like nothing has been wrong, being affectionate and loving, right up to the moment where she dropped those words: ‘ I found someone else ’.
“That’s not fair,” Jimin rebukes. “I know-I understand that you’re mad, okay? But, I’m not like him. I-I. I didn’t mean it like he did, okay? I tried, a-and at least I’m telling you now instead of waiting until you propose.”
Hyunjin doesn’t buy it. “Jimin, I don’t care.” What’s done is done. He closes his eyes in an attempt to calm himself, but when he feels his heart beat continue to pound and pound, he decides he can’t stay here any longer.
“Baby,” she pleads, grabbing onto his arm when he stands up. Hyunjin feels a flicker of annoyance. How can she even call him that right now? “Sit down, okay? We haven’t finished talking.”
With a roll of his eyes, Hyunjin grabs his coat, places some money on the table for his food, and turns to the exit. He ignores her silent pleads and her sorry’s. It means nothing now.
Hyunjin continues forward, smiling at an employee once he passes through the exit doors. He walks to the bus stop. Jimin had driven both of them in her car, and there’s no way in hell he’ll allow himself to sit in her car again.
As he waits for the bus to roll up, Hyunjin bites his lip in thought. He feels…numb, like what just happened was a figment of his imagination. He never expected things to turn out this way. Jimin isn’t-wasn’t like that. But Hyunjin can’t forget the way she admitted to cheating on him, straight to his face. A whole month. A month .
Hyunjin manages to find a seat in the back of the bus, arms curled around his body, his head hanging low. It’s only when he notices the sun setting and the night beginning to take over the streets that he realizes he’s crying.
Luckily, the bus is primarily empty, so no one is there to ogle the way he wipes away the tears streaming down his cheeks. When the next stop is announced over the intercom, Hyunjin presses the stop button almost on instinct. This isn’t his way back home, but he can’t find himself to care as he tries his hardest to hold back his cries.
It isn’t long before the bus stops and the doors open. Hyunjin makes it out onto the sidewalk, hands grabbing at his shirt as an anchor. He sniffs and wipes his eyes as he stares up at the building above him. He doesn’t think twice before he makes it inside.
At this point, Hyunjin is aggressively wiping his face. He can’t let himself be like this. He can’t let anyone see him like this. Jisung might be home, or maybe Felix. Either way, he needs one of them right now. Although Hyunjin would rather die than admit it out loud, he craves one of their hugs.
He thinks about the way his friends hadn’t approved of Jimin during the first few months of their relationship. ‘ She seems…judgy?’ ‘She said she wished she had my confidence when I showed her my outfit… ‘I don’t know, hyung. As long as you’re happy’ .
But although it’s obvious why everyone had such an aversion to her in the first place, he can’t help but think that perhaps maybe they were right.
It sucks. It truly does. How stupid was Hyunjin to think that they were meant to be forever? He had always longed for a love that would withstand even the hardest of tribulations. He thought he found it, long ago. But it wasn’t until he lost it, that he managed to find it again: in Jimin. But was it real? He loves her. He still…does? What an idiot.
Exhausted, Hyunjin makes it to the last set of stairs, grabbing onto the railing as he sniffs. He sighs in semi-relief knowing that he will soon be within the comfort of his friends.
However, that relief shrivels up and dies when his eyes meet brown ones, staring at Hyunjin in shock.
Seungmin stands by his open door, looking like he was just on his way out. It’s then when Hyunjin realizes that he actually needs to walk up one more floor in order to arrive at Felix and Jisung’s dorm.
“Hyunjin?” the brunet breathes with surprise, looking over at him as if he is assessing him. “Are you okay?”
Oh no. He must look like a wreck. With snot and tears and hair all over the place. But Seungmin doesn’t look deterred. Instead he looks concerned, in the way he usually does.
Seungmin raises an eyebrow, looking like he wants to reach out to him but retracts. Hyunjin is focused on the small fidget of his fingers and deludes himself into thinking it’s a sign that Seungmin wants to comfort him, but he knows he can’t. They don’t do that. They can’t. But then, Seungmin does that face he used to make, when he gets nervous.
It’s the last straw. With a storm in his chest and tears in his eyes, Hyunjin thinks ‘fuck it’ , and storms forward, arms rushing to bring Seungmin to his body. Seungmin doesn’t move back, and instead stands still.
“Hyunjin?” Seungmin calls again in a soft tone, hesitant, and it causes Hyunjin to let out a quiet sob. “Let’s…let’s go in my room, okay?”
For a moment, Hyunjin wants to protest. But when he relishes in the comfort of the boy’s arms, he realizes he’s too weak to say no. Especially right now. “Okay,” the word cracks, sounding frail and desperate.
Seungmin doesn’t comment on it, and instead opts to bring the tall boy back to the doorway he was just coming out of. The boy’s hands come to lightly grab onto Hyunjin’s waist. The touch is barely there, but Hyunjin finds himself basking in the comfort anyway.
The pair haven’t been this physically close in a year, perhaps a bit more. Although it’s been a while, Hyunjin still finds himself slowing his breathing in the presence of his ex-boyfriend.
Said ex-boyfriend, who is now leading poor, crying Hyunjin into his dorm (one that he fortunately lives in alone), holds him so gently and softly that Hyunjin is reminded of the times when he did the exact same thing when they were together. It sends another ripple of sadness and anguish in his chest.
He just can’t seem to make these types of things last.
“Sit,” Seungmin coaxes. He leads Hyunjin to the couch in the middle of the room, its pillows soft on Hyunjin’s cold skin. “Let me get you some water.”
With the blur of his vision and the swelling of his eyes, Hyunjin suddenly tightens his hold on Seungmin’s arm, scared he will leave him. The action surprises Seungmin, evident in the way he looks at Hyunjin’s grip.
“Hyun…” he leads, a sad smile adorning his soft features. “I’ll be back, okay?”
Hyunjin knows. He knows he will. He doesn’t understand why he is suddenly feeling like this. The events from an hour prior keep his emotions strong and overwhelming. It’s wrong, isn’t it? It’s wrong to be this way with Seungmin. But Hyunjin seeks that comfort, seeks the warmth of a boy he hasn’t touched in more than a year.
Out of nowhere, Hyunjin can’t find it in himself to care. So he doesn’t apologize. He only wipes his face once more, slowly loosening his hold. “Okay,” he whispers.
But Seungmin hears it loud and clear, grinning at him, and quickly runs to the kitchen.
In the minute that Seungmin is not there, Hyunjin tries his hardest to slow his breathing again. When he feels hot, he begins to take off his jacket and his outer shirt, the thick fabric being laid carelessly on the end of the sofa. His cheeks hurt, his chest hurts, his eyes hurt.
Why? Why did this have to happen to him now?
Hyunjin should have predicted it, right? He hadn’t been a good boyfriend. Why else did Jimin go find somebody else? Why else would she break up with him? Why else did Seungmin break up with him, too? It’s a pattern, and Hyunjin feels guilt and shame.
“Here,” Seungmin appears to his side, holding a cup of water in his hand, a blanket in the other. “Take a couple of sips.”
Like the good man he is, Seungmin brings the water to Hyunjin’s chapped lips, handing the blanket to Hyunjin’s waiting arms. Although he still feels hot, Hyunjin recognizes the blanket right away and almost starts crying again. Instead of sobbing, he takes the blanket and holds it to his chest.
“Good,” Seungmin whispers, sitting down next to him, surveying Hyunjin’s figure. He looks confused, Hyunjin notices, perhaps wondering what exactly happened that made Hyunjin run into Seungmin’s waiting arms. “Slow,” he says.
Hyunjin can only nod, taking in stuttering breaths as he feels himself slump from exhaustion. “Thank you,” he quavers with a sharp swallow. Those two words aren’t enough, he feels like he should be thanking him more. The entire situation is bizarre, embarrassing even. But Hyunjin can’t seem to wish to be anywhere else.
It makes total sense. Before, Seungmin was always Hyunjin’s safe space, even before they started dating. He was his safe space even when he was recovering from the break-up. There’s no one in Hyunjin's life that can comfort him like Seungmin can. Or at least, that’s what he realizes now.
Perhaps it's all the bitterness that remains from Jimin, but he starts thinking that Jimin was never this gentle with him, never this nice and soft. She never comforted him like this. She never…cared?
No, she did. Of course she did. There was nothing else that would have proven otherwise. But Hyunjin can’t seem to trust that anymore, remembering that Jimin had lied to him for a month, and cheated on him for a month. Who cares what she says anyways?
Like a ping pong game, Hyunjin feels his train of thought going back and forth and back and forth. The conflicting thoughts in his mind overwhelm him further, making his lips tremble once more.
“Are you ready to talk?” Seungmin eases, checking in with him. He still looks concerned, with those brown eyes that Hyunjin knows too well.
Is he? Hyunjin doesn’t know.
He doesn’t want to reveal to him why exactly he is reacting this way. It isn’t an ideal conversation to be having with your ex-boyfriend. It also isn’t an ideal conversation to have after only initiating small-talk for the past couple of months.
Although they are in the same friend group and their break-up had initially put stress on their group dynamics, the pair were able to keep things civil, adamant on not letting anything else change. They had succeeded. It was easy, Hyunjin thinks. But it becomes increasingly hard now to feel like he is talking simply to one of his friends, someone he hangs out with.
“I-I don’t know,” Hyunjin starts instead.
Seungmin hums, taking the cup that was now emptied, placing it on the coffee table in front of them. “You don’t know what happened? Or you don’t know if you want to talk about it?”
That’s a really good question.
“I don’t…know?” Hyunjin says very intelligently. He shifts, pulling the blanket closer to his chest and keeping his eyes trained to the floor.
He knows Seungmin is watching him like a hawk, analyzing him and trying to figure out the situation. That’s just how he is, and it’s something Hyunjin had been grateful for before. Seungmin always seemed to know what was wrong before Hyunjin did.
”It’s hard to explain.”
It really isn’t.
Hyunjin got dumped, he started to spiral on the bus, and now here he is crying to Seungmin after a whole year of bland and awkward conversations. But, it isn’t something Hyunjin has the courage to verbalize right now.
“Then, how about this,” Seungmin proposes, moving an inch closer to him. “What are you feeling right now?”
“Like shit,” Hyunjin says without thinking.
Hyunjin can almost feel Seungmin smile.
“I know,” Seungmin chuckles lightly. “But that’s not what I mean.”
Oh, Hyunjin knows exactly what he means. He feels like he owes him an answer; Seungmin has gracefully allowed Hyunjin into his apartment, giving him water and a blanket that is incredibly soft and soothing.
“Ashamed…and guilty,” Hyunjin pushes out, the words hard to form. But once they’re out, Hyunjin feels like he can breathe a little better now. “More ashamed, really.”
“Why?” Seungmin asks cautiously.
Here goes nothing. He needs to tell somebody. He feels like his body is going to combust from the intense emotions bottled up inside him. Seungmin is such a calming presence right now that he gives in.
“I just got dumped,” he confesses, voice cracking at the syllable. “She cheated.”
There’s a few seconds of tense silence. The room suddenly stuck in time. Hyunjin can hear Seungmin’s faint breaths, notices how he stays quiet, as if thinking what exactly he should say.
Because really, what do you say to that? Especially when it’s coming from his ex-boyfriend.
“Did you…catch her?” His words are steady, treading the waters carefully.
Hyunjin sighs. “She told me herself. I’m such an idiot for not realizing sooner.”
“Hyunjin…” Seungmin begins to protest, voice suddenly more scandalized than Hyunjin expected. “ She’s an idiot. She cheated, Hyunjin.”
Before Seungmin can refute any more, Hyunjin turns to look at him with his reddened eyes. “I-it’s true. She cheated on me. I should have known that our relationship was lacking already,” he shakes his head, the memories of the past couple of weeks coming to replay in his mind. “I wasn’t paying much attention to her-”
A scoff and Hyunjin looks away. “You have no reason to place the blame on yourself.” It sounds so simple, but the insecurities claw at Hyunjin’s heart.
“Seungmin,” Hyunjin draws out sadly. He keeps his head down, scared that he will meet the boy’s eyes again. Hyunjin knows himself, one more look and he’ll crack. “She cheated for a reason. I must not have been…” He stops himself.
“This isn’t your fault at all, okay?” Seungmin determines. Then, his hand is placed lightly on Hyunjin's lower thigh. With a small squeeze, “Don’t get stuck in your head. She’s the one in the wrong, not you. I know you, Hyunjin,” a pause. “You aren’t like that at all.”
Hyunjin is tempted to ask what “like that” means. He isn’t a cheater? He isn’t a bad boyfriend? He isn’t a bad person? Perhaps he means all of them. Hyunjin finds himself hoping so.
“I’m just shocked,” Hyunjin grumbles with dread. He brings his hand to his hair, lightly pulling it in frustration.
Seungmin notices the movement, quickly reaching out his own hand to stop him. “I know,” he soothes. Hyunjin nearly whines. “I know you are. But it was never your fault.”
At a loss for words, “I just feel like I am,” he sniffles. He tries, he really does, but he is vulnerable to the tears that begin to make their way down his face in quick succession. “I just-”
Seungmin acts quickly, enveloping Hyunjin in his arms as soon as another sob escapes his throat.
Shocked, Hyunjin doesn’t pull away. Instead he gives in, pressing himself to the boy's chest.
With Seungmin’s arms around him and the blanket Hyunjin had gifted him on their first anniversary in his lap, Hyunjin just cries .
He lets it out. His confusion, his rage, his anger, his guilt, his shame. The boy wrapped around him takes it all in stride, brushing Hyunjin’s hair with his fingers.
It’s a feeling so familiar that it just makes his sobs grow more wretched and intense. In this vulnerable moment, Hyunjin finds solace in the warmth of the boy's embrace. The physical touch becomes a lifeline, grounding him in the midst of his emotional storm.
“It’s okay,” Seungmin shushes, his own voice beginning to waver. Hyunjin can’t seem to pinpoint why, so he just presses himself even closer, if possible. He can’t bear having Seungmin crying, too. “You’re okay, Hyun.”
“I’m sorry,” Hyunjin repeats like a mantra, shaking his head in the boy’s chest. He feels the soft fabric of the boy’s vest, noticing the way his tears begin to stain it. “I’m sorry,” he says.
At this point, Hyunjin doesn’t know why he’s apologizing, only knowing that he should. Seungmin doesn’t question it though, opting to rock the boy a bit, pressing a light kiss into Hyunjin’s hair.
They stay like that for a couple minutes, with Hyunjin crying in his hold and Seungmin silent through it all. As he feels his sobs to calm down, Hyunjin has no strength to pull away. He’s exhausted, resorting to leaning onto the boy for stability.
It isn’t long before his eyes begin to shut, soothed by the fingers in his hair and the hums that vibrate from Seungmin’s chest. Hyunjin lets himself go, consciousness slipping, the embrace of Seungmin the last thing on his mind before he’s out like a light.
“Hyunjin?” The voice is quiet, but it’s loud enough for Hyunjin to stir. “Come on, you have class.”
There’s a light tap on his shoulder and Hyunjin whines. Hard-headed, Hyunjin just sinks further into the pillow, sighing in contentment at its warmth. But whoever is calling him is relentless, speaking with a soft tone.
“You need to wake up, just for a bit,” it says. It’s familiar, both the voice and this situation. This fact has Hyunjin curious and he opens an eye a tad bit, deterred by the harsh light. “It’s okay if you don’t want to go to lecture, but I just wanted to let you know in case you do.”
Hyunjin sees Seungmin sitting on the bed that he is currently laying on, his stupid purple hoodie on, hair styled to perfection and a plate of food in his hands. Mumbling, “Class?” Hyunjin ponders intelligently.
“Yes,” Seungmin nods, placing the plate on the nightstand. “Your alarm went off,” he mentions.
That’s when reality hits him and Hyunjin shoots up, the blanket that laid on top of him sliding off his body. “Shit,” Hyunjin curses as his head swirls from the sudden movement. He rubs his face, desperately attempting to wake himself up. “Shit, shit,” he says, knowing his eyes and face are most likely swollen and red.
Seungmin hums, a hint of amusement evident on his face. “You can sleep more if you don’t want to go,” he offers with a smile. Hyunjin notices the way he hesitates though, like he’s allowing something he shouldn’t.
The sincerity takes Hyunjin aback, staring at him with calculating eyes. Hyunjin can’t sense any form of lie or pity. He’s known the boy for years and knows exactly when he’s being genuine.
“I made some breakfast, too, if you’re…hungry.” Seungmin seems to get flustered, sheepish as the words leave his mouth. “I hope you still like your eggs like this.”
It hits Hyunjin in the heart, sharp and painful. Seungmin made him breakfast…right after Hyunjin came running to him, crying his eyes out, probably leaving snot and tears on his sweater. Gradually, as Hyunjin rocks his brain for something to say, the skin of his neck and cheeks begin to blush from embarrassment. Did he really do that?
He groans, running a hand through his messy hair. “I’m sorry,” is what he settles with. “I…shouldn’t have-”
Seungmin sighs, “Stubborn as always,” he mutters as he shifts to face him better. “Don’t apologize.”
Hyunjin can’t say much else. Seeing that Hyunjin won’t argue with him, Seungmin picks up the plate of food once again.
“Eat,” he orders with finality, as if challenging Hyunjin to refuse. Hyunjin grabs the plate, dazed. “If you want to sleep more, you can. I’ll be going to the store in a bit but I’ll be back soon.”
Nodding, Hyunjin grabs a hold of the fork and takes a bite. “Thank you,” he says.
Satisfied, Seungmin smiles. “Don’t worry about it, I mean it. Just stay here and I'll be back, okay? Or if you do want to go to lecture, I have some…uhm clothes you can borrow.”
Staying longer is not a good idea. Hyunjin has been a nuisance long enough now. He can’t stand the thought of Seungmin helping him more than he already is. Hyunjin is grateful, he is. He just can’t seem to bring himself to ask for more. It’s not like he’s given anything in return anyways.
“I’ll go to class,” Hyunjin decides. “I’ll be out of your hair soon.” But knowing the ins and outs of Seungmin’s character, he recognizes the expression on the boy’s face as an exhaustive one.
“Hyunjin, don’t even start,” he begins to lecture him. Hyunjin feels that familiar fear at knowing Seungmin is about to reprimand him. “Don’t worry about it. Please. You aren't a burden.” Not bothering with a reply, Hyunjin simply takes another bite.
Once Seungmin makes sure that Hyunjin is eating, he stands up. He looks for his shoes, putting them on.
“You can grab some…clothes from the closet,” he says, focusing intensely on tying his shoes. There’s that pause where Hyunjin can practically hear him say, ‘You know where to look.’
The thing is that Hyunjin does know where to look. He knows where his shirts are, specifically the short and long sleeves, his winter coats, his vests, his jeans. It’s surprising to him how easily he remembers it all.
“Okay,” Hyunjin shoots him a smile that Seungmin doesn’t see.
Once Seungmin grabs his bearings and stands at the doorway, he looks back at Hyunjin with eyes that show the hesitance he is feeling. “I’ll…see you later,” he ends with.
Without another word, Seungmin turns around and goes, leaving Hyunjin sitting with the breakfast he cooked for him and fresh tears sprouting from Hyunjin’s swollen eyes.
—
By the time lunch comes around, Hyunjin is exhausted. With Seungmin’s red hoodie on him, and a mask (which hopefully covers up the swelling of his face), he makes it to one of the tables on campus.
Although he dreaded meeting up with anyone today, he knows that he can’t avoid them for long.
“Hyun!” Felix exclaims, grinning as he calls him over. Hyunjin sits across from him, placing his bag down. The boy looks so happy that Hyunjin finds himself smiling a bit.
“Hey, Lix,” Hyunjin says, hoping he doesn’t sound as tired as he feels. “What’s up?” He places his phone in his pocket, hoping that Felix won’t notice anything amiss. He won’t bring it up if he doesn’t have to. He can’t find the will to say it just yet.
But in true Felix fashion, he furrows his eyebrows, “What’s wrong?”
Hyunjin internally curses. He shouldn’t have expected anything less: Felix knows him well, too well sometimes. So even if he knows lying will be useless, he does it anyway.
“Nothing,” he waves his hands with a faux neutral tone. “Just tired, that’s all.”
Jisung sighs from beside him, placing a hand on Hyunjin’s shoulder, uncharacteristically gentle. “Don’t lie,” With an uncertain gaze, Jisung drawls out, “We know when you lie, Hyun. What’s going on?” He says with a small voice.
Fuck.
He knows how observant Jisung is. He can put two and two together easily.
Especially since the minute he stepped foot on campus, there has been word that Jimin had a new boyfriend and it caused Hyunjin to start crying again. But now that he’s calmed down, he feels embarrassed. It’s no use hiding it from his friends. With the rumors that must be circling around and the state of Hyunjin, it isn’t too hard to guess.
Foolishly, Hyunjin internally prays that everyone just thinks it’s a rumor. No, no, everyone saw Jimin. Not even more than a day since they broke up and she’s already moved on. Hyunjin feels his heart beginning to beat faster. At this point, as petty as he is, he feels the shame creeping in once more.
“Jimin and I broke up and she has a new boyfriend now.”
There’s no point hiding it. Everyone knows now anyways.
Except Felix apparently because he promptly chokes on his water, eyes bulging from the surprise. “What?!”
Hyunjin remains silent, coughing. Jisung takes that as a confirmation. “Are you joking?” he questions, abnormally serious as he gets closer to Hyunjin. “When did this happen?”
The words are trapped in Hyunjin’s throat, the tears threatening to burst once more. He’s tired of this. He didn’t prepare himself enough for this .
Of course his friends would need to find out eventually. Jisung and Felix, as small and cute as they are, would do anything for Hyunjin, for each other. So as Hyunjin watches a grave look fall onto Jisung’s features, he feels a new wave of dread.
He doesn’t want to make this a big thing, a big issue. Hyunjin doesn’t want the entire world to know that HEY! Hyunjin just got cheated on and thrown to the side while Jimin started dating the man she cheated on Hyunjin with the day after they broke up! How pathetic, isn’t it?
The worst part is Hyunjin and Jimin were the it couple, or at least everyone treated them that way. It would be blatantly obvious that something was wrong right away, especially with how obsessed some people were with them. It isn’t so surprising that everyone is already talking about it.
Maybe going to class wasn’t such a good idea. Hyunjin finds himself briefly wishing he had stayed at Seungmin’s place. But, he reprimands himself immediately.
“It’s true,” Hyunjin spits out. He hugs his waist when a breeze flutters against his cheeks. “It…I just don’t want to- I don’t want this to become a big thing, you know?”
“What a- I just- What the fuck,” Jisung stares blankly, in disbelief.
Felix shakes his head. “Wow,” he laughs incredulously.
“It’s just- What the fuck was Jimin thinking?” Jisung scoffs, before sighing. “That- Jimin better be having some sort of karma. How can she do that to you, Hyunnie?”
Hyunjin smiles. As much as Hyunjin doesn’t want the rumors to circulate, he finds himself wanting to just know what’s happening on her side.
He wants to slap himself for thinking like this. He shouldn’t want to know. He shouldn’t care. She had tossed him aside like nothing. Who cares if she’s suffering? Who cares if she’s doing fine, or if she’s not?
“Shamelessly flaunting her new boyfriend like this? I didn’t think of her to be that way.” Felix stresses. Ditto, Hyunjin thinks.
“Think of who?” a voice appears to his side and Hyunjin startles. Chan stands there with a calm smile, joined by Changbin by his side. But, “What’s happening?” The pair move to join them, eying the trio, as if trying to gauge the situation.
Chan seems to be waiting for an answer though, face stern and questioning. Comically, Felix and Jisung keep their mouths closed, sending pointed looks at Hyunjin, leaving the option for Hyunjin to make.
As hard as everything has been, Hyunjin feels the warmth that Chan emits from beside him and he feels like crying. He would do anything to be hugged by him right now, but his pride won’t let him ask for it.
“Jimin cheated on me,” Hyunjin states, like he’s just talking about the weather. He doesn’t want to sugarcoat it. “She was seen with her boyfriend today and Jisung and Felix were just planning their revenge plan,” he adds matter-of-factly. It’s inevitable.
There are a few seconds where no one speaks, but Hyunjin senses the tone gradually shifting, the expressions of Chan and Changbin shifting with it. Hyunjin squeezes his eyes shut, playing with his fingers in the pocket of Seungmin’s hoodie, trying to warm his pale hands amidst the cold weather.
Before Hyunjin can dodge, Chan brings Hyunjin into a tight hug. It knocks the breath out of him, but he relaxes in his hold.
“How are you doing?” Chan coaxes, voice hot against his ear. Letting out a shaky breath, Hyunjin only shakes his head, not wanting to speak any more.
This prompts Chan to push away to analyze the boy's face. His finger brushes against Hyunjin’s under eyes, most likely noticing how it looks like he cried his eyes out for hours.
“What an asshole,” Changbin grumbles. Hyunjin nearly laughs, which is totally inappropriate for the situation, but he’s too endeared by Changbin’s stern face.
“I’m doing okay,” Hyunjin reassures them. Chan tilts his head, looking like he doesn’t fully believe him. “I swear. I cried it all out yesterday,” he tries to joke, but it falls flat.
Felix whines, “Hyun.”
“This is so fucked up of her.”
“No, seriously, what an asshole,” Changbin sneers, before finding Hyunjin’s gaze with a sincere expression. “Hyunjin, this is not your fault. I know what that little head of yours must be thinking right now, but I want you to know that you don’t deserve this. We will be here for you, okay?” Felix nods in agreement with Jisung following up.
Hyunjin feels a different type of warmth in his chest. It may not be as intense as the warmth he felt when he cried in Seungmin’s arms, but it’s there and he feels comforted for the moment.
“Do you want to ditch?” Jisung proposes, knowing that their discussion is in half an hour. Normally, Chan would scold them, but he doesn’t seem opposed to the idea now.
Denying, “No. I can’t let this consume me, yo-you know?”
“This happened yesterday , Hyunjin.” Felix blurts, like it’s the obvious.
Hyunjin knows that. He feels it in his bones. This is something that he never would have predicted. Jimin was never like this. Jimin doesn’t hang out with those types of people who are known for cheating and ending relationships like it’s nothing.
Chan chimes in, “They’re right. If you need a break, take it. I know you’ll have a lot of eyes on you. Take the time you need, distract yourself for a while.”
Before Hyunjin can resist once more, everyone seems to have spotted someone from behind him, Felix waving the person over frantically. Braving a look, Seungmin stands there in all his dumb glory. Walking towards them, Seungmin tries for an encouraging smile as he approaches, seemingly already aware of just what he’s walking into.
“Seungmin,” Jisung calls, he makes a space for him on the bench. Seungmin smiles at him, but instead of taking the seat, he beelines for Hyunjin.
“Here,” the boy offers, holding out a sweater in his hands. Stunned, Hyunjin freezes, confused at what he is looking at. Sensing all the eyes on him, Seungmin clears his throat, embarrassed. “You left your sweater…” he provides as an explanation, but it only serves to make the situation more bizarre to everyone else. Hyunjin didn’t know he had left it, subconsciously playing with the fabric of Seungmin’s hoodie he is wearing instead.
There’s a tense silence, more prolonged than the one from before, and Hyunjin feels the stares of everyone trained on them.
“T-thanks,” Hyunjin adorns a shy smile, grabbing the sweater.
“No problem,” Seungmin trails off, distracted. Hyunjin knows exactly what caught his attention, obvious from the way Seungmin spots his own hoodie on Hyunjin’s body. Brushing it off, Seungmin doesn’t say more though, finally moving to sit next to Jisung, trying his hardest to ignore the way everyone remains speechless.
Bringing his attention back to the rest of their friends, Hyunjin takes a breath, flustered. He notices especially the way Changbin shoots him a puzzled look, communicating that he needs an explanation now .
But, Hyunjin won’t give him one, not now, perhaps never. He doesn’t want anyone to know what exactly transpired last night. Because nothing happened. Nothing happened. Nothing. And that is how it shall stay.
Once everyone appears to recover, they all look hesitant to continue the conversation. Hyunjin can’t attribute it to whether it’s because Hyunjin’s ex is now at the table, or because they’re more confused about why Hyunjin’s ex had his sweater.
“You know what,” Hyunjin interrupts, desperate to get out of there. “I think I’ll ditch.”