Archive of Our Own

Chapter Text

Flashback - 2010

“And the winner of Seoul’s Best Dance Crew 2010 is… Congratulations, TRAILBLAZERS!”

Cheers from the audience erupted as they showed their excitement over the crew that they favored to win. They seemed to be gaining a lot of supporters recently. It was understandable as this was their 8th consecutive win this year already, and they’ve only joined 10 competitions so far. The group hasn’t been a year old yet, either. A great feat that can only be achieved by the wonderful leadership and the genius that is Monika, Lia proudly thought.

Lia looked around her teammates, to her left, Hanee and Hyowon were hugging, Jihye and Jiyoung were behind her and had their arms wrapped around each other’s shoulder, looking and laughing at Hyojin who was crying, yet again. That earned a small laughter from her, too. You would think that she’d be used to it by now, but no, not a competition went by that she didn’t cry over them winning. Finally, her eyes scanned for the person she wanted to see the most, the one responsible for their victory tonight. She almost didn’t notice her as she was standing at the far right of the stage, a slight distance between her and her teammates. She had a small smile on her face, waving and thanking their supporters that were cheering for them. If Lia didn’t know Monika the way she did, she’d think that nothing was amiss, but a closer look at the little frown on her forehead, glassy dark eyes that seemed unfocused and the smile that hides the turmoil happening behind it, she knew that her friend wanted nothing more than to run off stage and go straight to where the person Monika wanted to be by her side the most as of this moment.

Twenty minutes before they went on stage, Monika’s mother called to say that her father was rushed to the hospital because of a sudden heart attack. Her parents were at their home in Busan when it happened, which is a 5-hour drive from Seoul. Her mother assured her that everything was gonna be okay and that the doctors are handling it. She told Monika that she can just go right after the competition ends. Lia knew that Monika wanted to go right there and then, competition be damned. She knows how much her father meant to her. He was the only one who supported her right away when she told her parents that she wanted to pursue dancing. It took almost a few years for her mother to follow suit, all thanks to her father’s convincing, Monika relayed to her one time when she asked about them. She heard nothing but fond and good stories about him from Monika, and even cried about how much she misses her father, when they were hanging out and getting drunk at Lia’s one-bedroom apartment that one time.

After the phone call ended and Monika told Lia what the phone call was about, she immediately let out the tears that she’d been holding back while she was on the phone with her mother. Lia guided her to sit on the bench by the far wall and as they both sat down, Lia immediately put her arms around her best friend’s shaking frame and cradled her head on her chest. Thankfully, they were the only people in their small dressing room and the others were already waiting outside getting ready to go on stage. One thing about Monika is that she’s careful not to get too vulnerable in front of other people, even if they were her closest friends. She always puts on a brave face, saying that a lot of people rely on her so she has no choice but to appear strong for them. Lia was glad that she was the exception to that rule, maybe being best friends for so long, even before they started dancing made Monika feel safe to be her true self with her.

Lia was rubbing circles at the younger woman’s back, telling her that it’s okay if they don’t get on stage tonight, that there’ll be other competitions to attend and they could go right now and be by her father’s side. She didn’t get an answer and her friend just continued sobbing. Lia almost cried at the way the other woman was hurting so much, and if she could take away all that pain, she definitely would. But she stayed strong for her friend, the way she always stayed strong for all of them and just continued giving her the silent comfort that she needed.

After what felt like a few hours of them staying in that position when in actuality it was only a few minutes, Hyowon suddenly opened the door to their dressing room, “Guys, c’mon, we’re on in five minu— Monika! What happened?” her teammate immediately kneeled down in front of their leader.

Monika’s violent cries already died down a few minutes before Hyowon entered, but her face was still puffy and red that no one can deny that she was just crying her eyes out right now.

“It’s nothing, it’s just one of those silly stage frights.” Monika entangled herself from Lia and faced their other teammate while she sniffed and wiped a few stray tears. “I don’t know why I even cried. Hormones, I guess. I’m on my period right now.” she explained while forcing a chuckle. Lia wasn’t surprised by that outright lie though, she knew that Monika didn’t want to worry her teammate right before they went on stage. She always made sure that every single one of them were in their best shape, mentally and physically. But that rule didn’t apply to her, because she knew that no matter what the younger woman was going through, she knew that she would still be able to give her hundred-percent every time.

Lia also knew that Monika had already decided on what she’s gonna do. Her friend staying in her arms for almost fifteen minutes already clued her in that Monika will not be going anywhere right at this moment. She knew that her friend not only cried for her father, but she also cried for how sorry she was to him. Because as much as she loves her father, Lia knows that Monika’s love for dancing is almost just as intense. What probably solidified her decision even more is the fact that this annual year-end competition is huge compared to any other competitions that they’ve been in. The competition is more intense, with the best crews from different parts of the country being part of the lineup, the prize money is five times bigger than normal competitions, and the crew who wins this competition gets a lot of respect and recognition in the dancing community. Monika knew all that, that’s why being the stubborn leader that she is, decided that she’s going to push through with this competition. Also, she probably didn’t want to let any of her teammates down, because they’ve prepared for this performance harder than any performances they’ve ever done before.
Monika stood up and went to the vanity table to quickly fix her makeup, trying to cover up any tracks of redness on her face as much as possible. Good thing that today’s performance didn’t require a much heavier makeup, so nothing got totally ruined when she was crying her eyes out and burying her face on Lia’s chest.

She turned to Lia and Hyowon and clapped her hands, and after putting on a false bravado, she said, “Alright, guys. Let’s go and win this thing!”
They marched outside and finally went up to the stage. Little did they know, that this very day right here, would be the start of an end for all of them.

Chapter Text

Present Day - 2023

“Thank you for attending today’s class! Get home safely, everyone, and don’t forget everything you’ve learned here today. Okay, now scram!” Monika’s students laughed at that. They started picking up their bags and water bottles, passing through her to say their thanks and goodbyes then proceeded to exit the room. Monika adored her students, they all have great potential, they’re highly skilled and are very passionate about dance. She smiled and nodded her head goodbye at every student until everyone was out of the room. Looking around and making sure that she’s alone, she let that smile slowly fade away. It hurts to think about the possibility of losing all of this. The adoring students, her being able to conduct classes any time she wants, the thrill of being in charge of her own dance academy, she refused to accept the reality where all of it gets taken away from her.

It’s been 8 years since Monika and Hyowon opened their very own dance studio, PROWD Dance Company. It was surely not easy, it took more than two years to get everything ready, and with their financial capacity and no one to support them but each other, they almost gave up and even thought for one second that they must’ve been out of their mind to think that they could do it with just the two of them. In the end, after working extra hard by conducting dance classes at other studios and attending dance battles and winning those prize money, they were able to overcome this hardship and were able to save up enough to rent out the third floor on this five-story building. It was pretty small, and it was only enough for two dance studio rooms and a small office. It has always been her life-long dream to own a dance studio, so she was still more than happy with what they’ve achieved. And even though she isn’t sharing that dream with the person she planned this with in the first place anymore, it was still enough for her. 

Her heart ached with thoughts of her former friend and everything that happened twelve years ago, or also known as The Worst Year of Monika’s Existence. That was the year when she grieved her father’s death, when she sabotaged herself and got a drinking problem, when she lost her love for dance, when she lost her dance crew, and when she lost her best friend. With everything that’s been happening right now, on the verge of losing the one dream that she was able to achieve, she can’t help but go back to that time when she also lost everything that was dear to her. But she decided that this time, everything will be different and she won’t let herself go down without a fight.

That morning, their landlord came by their office and apologetically gave them an eviction notice for failing to pay six months of rent. Even though their studio did well in its first five years, being one of the first dance studios in the area, and Monika and Hyowon being fairly popular in the dance scene, business boomed and they were able to extend their space and rented out the floor above them during those years. Their studio now consisted of five dance studio rooms in total. 

But as time went by, and more dance studios populated the city, PDC didn’t fare well and failed to keep up, especially when those other studios had a more modern aesthetic and hired young dance instructors that were pretty popular for being choreographers for a lot of k-pop artists, or were hip and had really trendy dance styles. These dance studios quickly became the talk of the town among young and highly influenced people clamoring to learn from these instructors. Unfortunately, that took a hit on Monika and Hyowon’s business as few and few people wanted to learn from their dance studio. To be fair, they had a good roster of in-house and guest choreographers but most of them were people who they knew when they were still active in the dance battle scene. They were well respected in the community, but unfortunately, the general public isn’t entirely interested in them. They tried to hire some of these young choreographers, but most of them looked down on their company and didn’t want to associate themselves with an outdated dance studio. As funds got depleted and they struggled to make ends meet, they got to a point where they would fail to pay the rent for their studio space.

Monika and Hyowon couldn’t even be mad at their poor landlord, since he was nice enough to let all these months pass by without giving them any notices. Unfortunately, all good things must come to an end and they are finally given what they’ve been dreading to receive. Monika tried to reason with him and convinced him to give them a chance, telling him that they would find a way to pay all of their dues. Their landlord thought about it for a few minutes, then finally gave them until the end of the month to make a payment, or else he will be forced to lock their space and ask them to move out. 

Right after their landlord left, Monika’s phone rang. It was an unknown number so she tried to ignore it and turned to Hyowon to discuss how they’re gonna save their studio. But just as she was about to speak, her loud message notification beeped, catching Monika’s attention back to her phone again. What she saw in the message preview made her immediately take her phone back and unlocked it. She couldn’t believe her eyes at what she saw.

Hi! Is this Monika? This is Gabee, a producer at SBN. We would love to invite you to join our upcoming show which will be broadcasted right here on SBN! If you could kindly call me back, I can tell you all the details. Hoping to hear from you soon! xx

Monika, reading the text twice and going over it again and again, making sure that she read the message right, widened her eyes and quickly shoot up in her seat, startling Hyowon who was staring at her the whole time, patiently waiting for Monika to tell her who and what was it about. 

“I haven’t even prayed to any God yet, but I believe that they’ve already answered my future prayer.” Monika stood there, staring off at the distance, laughing at the unexpected turn of events. She must’ve been a saint in her past life because the timing of that call and message was freaking impeccable. 

“What are you talking about? Who was that?” her business partner asked. Hyowon, her dearest friend, the one who stayed while everybody from her team left. She will always be thankful for her and everything she did for her during that awful year. How did she get so lucky to have a friend like that in her life? She thought after her falling out with Lia, that she would never have that bond with anyone ever again, but Hyowon proved her wrong. She doesn’t know where she’ll be right now if it wasn’t for her friend. 

“My dear, that was… the solution to our problem right now.” Monika smiled giddily at her friend and gave her her phone so the other woman could also read the very same text message. 

“Holy shit, is this for real?”

“I would hope so. I'm familiar with Gabee, she used to be in the underground dance scene too, but she later went on to be a producer at this famous broadcasting station. I can’t wrap my head on how that happened, though. But I know she mainly focuses on dance related shows.”

“Oh my god, she must be familiar with you, too, that’s why she’s offering you to join her show. Monika!” Hyowon stood up and squeezed her shoulders, “This is huge! I heard that most shows on that station go viral. This could really help us and our studio.”

“I know.” Monika smiled once more and squeezed one of her friend’s hands that was on her shoulder, “I have to call her back though. Let’s not get ahead of ourselves just yet, for all we know she could just be inviting me for one episode and have like five-minutes of screen time only or something.”

“Then call her right now!” Hyowon took the phone again and pushed it in Monika's hand, demanding her to call the producer right there and then. She fondly rolled her eyes at her impatient friend while quickly dialing the number that called her earlier.

It rang two times until the sound of Gabee’s voice filled her ear. She focused on listening carefully, even as the thunderous sound of her heart beating threatened to overpower the producer’s voice. 

After a few moments of listening, an excited smile slowly appeared on her face, making Hyowon silently squeal for her, taking the hint that it was definitely a really good offer. 

She was right, God did answer her future prayer, because she was just invited to be a regular dance coach for a high-budget dance reality competition show. 

Chapter Text

Present Day - 2023

Lia sat at her wildly comfortable chair, at her spacious office in LK Studio, hunched over her computer and obsessively looking at the views of the videos that were posted this month at their studio’s Youtube channel. This had become a habit of her, where she would sit down at her office after the work day is almost done, and would quickly open their Youtube channel to scroll through each and every video that was posted recently. She slightly slammed the mouse on the desk, as she saw that no videos these month reached a million views and only three to four videos reached the hundred thousand mark. She went back to look at their videos five years ago, during their peak, and almost every single one, if not all, got at least two million views each, some of them even reached more than ten million views, a great feat back then when streaming wasn’t a huge thing yet. Her studio back then was only five years old from being established. At the back of her mind, she knows that’s it’s probably unhealthy to monitor these views every single day, and with the way that the studio is doing really well right now and is still the number one dance studio in the country, she shouldn’t even be worrying about this as hard as she should be. But someone like Lia, someone who always aims to be on top of her game, still can’t help but look back at her achievements when they were at the peak of their fame.

Not only that, but when she rose to stardom, her phone wouldn’t stop ringing as producers from different broadcasting programs wanted to invite her to be a guest on their shows. Some even wanted her to be a regular cast member. She also got a lot of endorsement deals, unusual for someone who used to be an underground street dancer. She felt more like a celebrity back then instead of a CEO of a dance company. She guessed opening a huge dance studio out of nowhere by a sole independent woman, and with highly skilled choreographers already as its dance instructors, it surely made a huge buzz. It also helped that after Lia left her former dance crew, she focused on training and enhancing her dancing, and went to a lot of dance competitions, continued to battle and with her extraordinary skills and talent, she quickly became popular among her peers and won almost every single battle she attended. She later went on to be a choreographer after she established her dance academy and was also able to create choreographies for multiple k-pop artists and has almost 50+ choreography credits under her name. Some people would even call her a legend because of these tremendous accomplishments. But being a “legend” still feels worthless right now, because the new generation are now more interested in new and fresh dancers who they think bring something new to the table. It’s definitely bad for her since she used to be the one that was in demand before. Now though, she hasn’t even received a single call from any producers this year, nor entertainment agencies clamoring to ask her to choreograph for their artists. Nothing really is permanent in this world, Lia thought. That’s why she’s always cooped up in her office until late at night to strategize about how she’s going to get herself back on track. 

She guesses fame really is an addictive thing, once you get a taste of it, you will always want more. And more, is what Lia wants. 

She didn’t know when she started becoming like this, a recluse, someone who spends every waking moment of her life focused on work and always working towards to being the best of the best. She has no social life, no friends that she constantly hangs out with anymore, her staff who she sees every day at work definitely doesn’t count. She lives all by herself at this enormous house, with only her two dogs to keep her company. She refused to say that she feels lonely, always telling herself that it’s better to be alone, than to let anyone in her life again, and give them the opportunity to hurt her like she got hurt 12 years ago.

As if saving herself from remembering that painful past again, her phone rang. She perked up as she saw that it was her producer friend who works at SBN, the one who used to invite her on all sorts of variety shows before. She hasn’t heard anything from her in a while so this was definitely a great surprise. With anticipation, she answered the phone.

The loud and excited voice of the producer sounded through the phone, “Lia, darling! How are you? I hope I wasn’t interrupting anything. Are you free to talk right now?”

“Hi, Gabee. It’s been a while! I thought you’d forgotten all about me by now.” she teased the woman. “And no, I’m actually just resting in my office right now. What’s up?”

Gabee told her about how they’re doing an all women dance competitive reality show and they’re interested in getting Lia as a dance coach/judge. She told her that there will be four of them as dance coaches and assured her that it will all be highly renowned dancers in the industry and people who know what they’re talking about. Although one of them will be a former idol, she told her that it was mostly just to get a variety of viewers to tune in their show. Lia actually didn’t care about any of it, she was already on the verge of saying yes immediately. She knows that a show produced by Gabee and that broadcasting station always becomes a hit. She doesn’t care if it was a show about singing, she’d get on this show no matter what. She’s curious about who’s gonna be the other dance coaches, though. She knows Gabee used to be in the street dance scene, too, so there’s no doubt that she knows about her former crew and its members. Hoping that she didn’t invite the one person who she’d rather not see for the rest of her life anymore, she tried to ask Gabee about it. No harm in trying to get more information by playing a little hard to get right? 

“I can say yes, right here, right now,” Lia paused,  she could already feel the producer’s delight at the possibility of Lia taking up the offer immediately. “Under one tiny condition. Tell me who the other three coaches are.” She waited for Gabee to take the bait, knowing that she’d spill it anyway since she’d know about who they are eventually. 

Gabee chuckled, “That’s it? Well, sure! But you have to promise me that I’ll get your approval right now, okay?” Lia hummed approvingly.

“We tried to keep it a secret from the other dance coaches since we wanted to capture your genuine reactions when we film your first meeting with the cast and producers involved, but I guess one person knowing should be fine. Just pretend that you have no idea that you expected to see them, okay?” Lia, getting impatient now, assured her that it’s gonna be fine and she can handle it.

“Bae Yoon Jung will be joining us, and she’s already agreed to our proposal when we called her. BoA is the other one, we still haven’t received a definite yes from her, but I think she’ll eventually agree since she doesn’t have anything going on right now and the offer is pretty attractive. The last one is… I’m sure you already know her, you used to part of the same crew,”

Lia almost stopped breathing at that. Please don’t let it be her, she almost wished out loud. There were four other members in that team, surely it wouldn’t be the one person she wanted to avoid the most, the reason why she is the way she is right now, the person who broke her heart the most, and the only person she ever truly loved—

“It’s your crew’s former leader, Monika Shin.”

Fuck her life. 

Chapter Text

Flashback - 2008

“Truth or dare?”

Lia whipped her head to where Monika was sitting. They both just got out of dance class when her best friend, Monika, spontaneously invited Lia to go and have a picnic with her at Han River, saying that they both needed the fresh air. They were both lying in the grass, sitting on their scarfs as makeshift picnic blankets and just stared at the wonderful view of the Han River and the city lights. It was already getting dark and the air just got even chillier but they were already too comfortable to even notice. They just sat there in silence, leaning back and enjoying the breeze of the chilly evening air. Until Monika broke that silence.

“Hmm.. Truth?” Lia hesitantly answered, not knowing what’s on her friend’s mind when she suddenly started that game. Knowing how playful her friend could get, she didn’t pick the other option because she’s sure that she’d make her do something extremely embarrassing. 

“I was expecting you to pick dare, actually, so I wasn’t able to prepare a burning question for you.” her friend jokingly said, “Let me think…” her friend put her pointer finger on her chin, seeming to be deep in thought. “Ah! Okay this might be a little boring, but we’re keeping it PG tonight since we’re outside and the kids might hear,” Monika wiggled her eyebrows at that and she couldn’t help but laugh at her mischievous friend and her antics. “Here’s the question. Miss Lia Kim, how do you see yourself in 10 years?” Her friend closed her fist as if holding an imaginary mic and held it under her friend’s mouth, acting like they were doing an interview and the younger woman was the host. 

“Why so formal, Miss Shin?” she chuckled, then tried to think how to best answer her question. Should she be serious and tell her what she really planned to do and what she always dreamed and fantasized about? Or should she joke around and give an exaggerated answer just to keep up the playful mood that her friend created? She looked at Monika, as if she held the answer to what she was silently contemplating about, and what she saw made her heart skip a beat. Her friend was glowing under the bright light of the moon, her hair was being perfectly blown away from her face by the wind, and she had that beautiful smile on that was exclusively directed at Lia. Well, her friend really is gorgeous and anyone who has eyes can see that. She’s always found her beautiful ever since they first met when a common friend introduced them to each other because of their shared love for dance. Her first impression of her is that she looked like she was meant to be an idol trainee with how pretty she looks, and not someone who purely wanted to pursue dancing. They became inseparable after that, always attending dance classes together and hanging out, quick to become the best of friends, telling things about each other that they never told anyone else, and just enjoying each other’s company. 

But what surprised her is the fact that she didn’t only find her friend beautiful, but her heart beating wildly in her chest signaled that she developed a big fat crush towards her friend. As much as she tried to dispel that thought away, she couldn’t help the feelings that kept resurfacing every time she looks at her friend and sees that happy expression on her face, or every time she looks over at her during dance practice and sees her beautiful dance lines, or when she sees how hard she works every time and how passionate she is for her craft. 

Trying to reel her feelings in once again, she tried to truthfully answer Monika’s question. It was what the game entailed anyway. 

“Actually, I can see myself owning and managing a huge dance studio.”  

Monika’s eyes brightened at that, showing how impressed she was by her answer. “I can definitely see it, too, Miss Future CEO.”

“Co-CEO, actually.”

Monika’s forehead adorably scrunched at that. Lia should really get a hold of herself, why she even found that simple gesture adorable is beyond her.

“What do you mean? Oh, you’re thinking of being business partners with a husband or something?” 

Lia chuckled, “Or something. And no, definitely not a husband.” she emphasized on that, hoping her friend took the hint.

Monika slightly raised her eyebrows, nodded her head and hummed understandingly, seeming as if she got what Lia was trying to tell her. She didn’t know that she’d come out to her friend in that way but she didn’t think that she should make it a big deal either, since she knew that the younger woman also dates people of the same sex. That’s why it was hard to let this crush die down, because she knew that if it ever comes down to it, she’d at least have a chance with her. But no— their friendship is too precious right now just to simply ruin it by trying to hook up with her. It’s best that she just let this little crush die down, it’s probably just a silly happy feeling that would eventually go away, right? 

“Okay, elaborate Miss Co-CEO. Not the husband part though, that doesn’t need any explanation anymore.” Monika winked at her.

And so she continued, “I was actually thinking of managing this business with you, my dear old friend.” Lia tried to make that statement light, even though what she said felt like confessing her obsession over the other woman. 

Monika gasped and put her hand over her chest, acting like she got offended, “Who are you calling old? You’re two years order than me, grandma.”

“Keep that up and I’ll fire you and just make myself an independent CEO.” Lia teased her friend right back.

“I’m sorry to say this but I’ll keep being your Co-CEO whether you like it or not. You’re kinda stuck with me.” Monika stuck her tongue out at her. Damn it, that was actually really cute, Lia thought. 

Clearing her throat, she tried to wrap her answer up. “Seriously though, I’d love it if I could do all that with you by my side, because I don’t think I could do any of it alone.” she hesitated saying the next words, “Your presence actually gives me strength and your carefree spirit makes me feel like I can do anything. There’s no one I’d rather do this with but with you.” Lia can’t believe she actually just said all that, why didn’t she confess her undying love, too while she’s at it? She tried to backtrack and put in a joke but when she turned to Monika, the words died down as she saw her friend’s eyes getting teary, visibly getting touched by what Lia just said. 

Monika tried to laugh it off just as a tear fell down and she quickly wiped it, seemingly embarrassed with the sudden waterworks. Lia just found her even more beautiful in that very moment. After wiping all the tears off and composing herself, her friend turned her way, her slightly red-rimmed eyes staring back at her and said, “I’d be honored, to fulfill this dream with you.” her friend smiled beautifully, “but before that, can we fulfill one of mine first?” 

“Of course, anything for you, my dear old friend.” Lia sweetly said, teasing her friend again and trying to bring back the playful mood that they lost when she turned serious earlier. 

Monika just rolled her eyes, “I want to form a small dance crew. I want to go on competitions and just finally put ourselves out there. I already have a few members in mind and I think with us leading them, we could make a really great team.”

“I think that’s wonderful, Monika. And of course, I’ll do this with you. Whatever you need from me, I’ll support you.” She said reassuringly at her friend. Monika beamed at that and smiled that toothy smile that she likes so much. She knew full well that she’d happily go to hell and back if it meant getting to see that smile on her friend’s beautiful face.

Silly little crush, she said. God, she’s so doomed.

Chapter Text

Flashback - 2011

Lia and the other Trailblazer members except for Monika, were sitting in the small rented dance studio, waiting yet again for their leader to show up to practice for the upcoming competition. It’s been four months since that eventful day, the day of their last huge competition, and the day Monika’s father died.

After they accepted their award that day, Monika rushed all of them to go back to their dressing room to get ready to go home, knowing that her friend would like to finish getting ready as soon as possible because she needed to go straight to her parents’ hometown and be by her father’s side. She planned to accompany and drive her there  and was just about to offer it when she saw Monika check her phone and saw the immediate panic on the woman’s face. She peaked at the phone and saw the multiple missed calls and texts from her friend’s mother. She saw how Monika’s hand visibly shook as she tried to call her mother back in a hurry. What happened as soon as her friend reached her mother broke Lia’s heart. She saw her friend drop to the ground, not even caring that her teammates were there to see it. Lia took the hint and knew that the news Monika received was nothing good. Her teammates looked among each other, expressing concern over what just happened to their stoic leader. Knowing how her friend hated people feeling sorry for her and seeing her vulnerable side, she immediately took action and gently told everyone to quickly gather their stuff and leave the room to give their leader some space. Thankfully, they all complied without question, looked back at their leader with worry in their eyes, and left the room quietly. She saw Hyowon hesitate by the door, though, and when she questioningly looked back at her teammate and their eyes met, she saw the same expression that was probably on her face as well. The younger woman nodded her head after a few moments as if acknowledging something, and proceeded to go out of the room and gently closed the door. She wondered about what just transpired just now but she was too busy to think about it right at that moment, as her sole focus and attention was immediately on her best friend after all the others left. 

Monika, seeing that they’re now alone, finally told Lia what she’s been dreading to hear. 

“He’s gone, Lia. He’s gone, and I wasn’t even there for him! I should’ve run off to him the moment I knew. I’m so fucking selfish!” Monika uncontrollably sobbed, Lia didn’t know what else to do but kneel down with her and rub circles on her poor friend’s back, cradled her head again the way she did earlier before they went on stage, closed her eyes and put her lips on the top of Monika’s head, as if giving her a very long kiss, praying to God that Monika gets comforted even for a little bit. “My poor father…” Lia’s heart felt like it was glass, shattering into a hundred tiny pieces as she heard how hard Monika cried. She couldn’t help but join her friend and let her tears silently fall as well, hurting for how much the other woman was hurting. 

Fast forward to four months, where they’re now sitting impatiently for their leader to come. She saw how resigned her teammates looked as they already knew that Monika wouldn’t show up, as usual. In those four months, they’ve already rejected six invitations from different dance events, asking them to join and compete. Some of them even offered Monika to become a judge but that got rejected as well. Their leader also consistently missed dance practice, which meant that they haven’t prepared a new dance routine ever since that last competition. In all fairness, their teammates understood everything since they know that their leader is still grieving her father. 

But the way Monika grieves is highly concerning for Lia. 

Her friend would spend her waking days drinking herself into a stupor, some nights she would go out to clubs and party until the early hours of the morning. She would’ve accompanied her friends on those nights, just to make sure she’s okay and she at least gets home safe, but every time she offered to join her, she would be flat out rejected and say that she needed to do this alone, to be not reminded of everything that’s hurting her right now and just surround herself with strangers. She almost defied her friend when she got rejected multiple times, because she wouldn’t be able to rest until she made sure that Monika at least gets home in one piece. She even planned to stake out at her house and follow her to the club until she gets home like a freaking stalker, but decided against it as she thought her friend might distance herself even more if she ever finds out. 

Lia suddenly stood up, her teammates snapping their heads up to look at her, surprised by her sudden movement. She’s had enough, and today she’s going to put an end to how Monika is just basically destroying herself, once and for all.

She drove to Monika’s tiny apartment, knowing she’s just cooped up in there doing God knows what instead of going to dance practice.

As she reached the door, she hesitated for a bit, rethinking if she’s crossing a line right now. She truly did try to understand her friend and believe her, she tried to be by her side as she went through the hardest moment of her life. But as Monika got more and more addicted to her new lifestyle, the more she shut Lia out. No, she’s done giving her space, she finally decided. With the spare apartment’s key in her hand, the one her friend gave her, telling her that it's for emergencies since her parents live three hours away from her and she’s the only one who can easily go to her just in case something happens. Her heart soared at that, knowing that Monika considered her to be the next important person in her life beside her parents.

When she opened the door, she was greeted by the smell of alcohol and by the sight of Monika slumped over her coffee table, a beer in hand. It was only freaking two in the afternoon and she was already drunk. She disappointedly shook her head at her friend.

She let herself in and went to the small kitchen to get the drunk woman a glass of water. She went to her and gently tapped her friend to wake her up.

Monika slowly got her body up and squinted her eyes at the person who woke her. Disoriented, she took the glass water that was being shoved in front of her. As she slowly got refreshed from the water, her friend looked at Lia and cleared her throat, “What are you doing here?” she coldly said.

Lia balked at that, “Shouldn’t you be at the studio right now? We’ve been waiting for you to come to rehearsals.”

Monika just apologized, and offered no other response.

“What? That’s it? You’re not even going to explain yourself?” 

Silence. 

“Okay, Monika Shin. Enough is enough, you have to get a hold of yourself and stop drinking. This is not helping anyone! You’re just ruining your health and your body at this point.” 

Monika finally had a response to that, “So what? Let it be ruined, I deserve it anyway.”

That just made Lia even more annoyed than she already was. It was already getting tiring seeing Monika always throwing herself a pity party. How long will she blame herself for what happened? It’s not like she could bring her father back to life even if she went back in time and changed how she did things. She would’ve just been there a few hours early.

”Do you think your father would’ve wanted that? You know how much your father loved and supported you, do you really think he’d be happy to know that you’re self-sabotaging right now?”

“He’s dead, Lia. He won’t be feeling anything anymore because he’s gone for good.”

Lia almost pulled her hair at how annoyingly stubborn her friend is being right now. Trying to think of a new way to snap her out of it, she looked at her friend and tried to convey all the pain and disappointment she’s feeling right now.

“If I told you how much it’s hurting me that you’re doing this to yourself right now, would you stop?” That made Monika pause. She hoped that that got through to her friend. She didn’t care that she was slightly emotionally manipulating her fragile friend right now, she needs to do whatever it takes to get her friend to listen. 

“You’re not being fair right now, Lia.” She heard a tinge of anger in her friend’s voice as she looked away from her. Good, let her be angry. God knows she wanted to say a lot of angry things to her friend as well.

“You are the one who’s not being fair right now, Monika. We’ve tried to understand your actions and respect what you’re going through but it’s been four months now. And all you’ve done all this time was shut everybody who’s been trying to help you out and let yourself drown in all these freaking alcohol!” She wildly gestured to all the empty liquor bottles surrounding Monika’s apartment floor. She’s already on the verge of tears with how frustrated she was. “I know you’re doing this not because you miss your father. I know you’re just punishing yourself for what happened.” 

That seemed to hit a nerve on Monika as she looked back at Lia again, probably surprised at the accurate assumption. But her face hardened again.“And what if I am? You have no idea what I’m going through right now, so please leave me alone and just let me be.”

“No, I won’t let you do this to yourself anymore. I’m done giving you space. I’m staying right here until you get it through your stubborn head and realize that you’re not alone in this. You have your teammates, who've been missing you all these months. And you have me, you can always rely on me , the way you’ve always done. So, please, if you can still find it in your heart to care about me, you’ll do as I say and stop punishing yourself for something that isn’t your fault.” Lia was openly crying now, desperate for Monika to listen to her. 

“I… It’s not going to be easy.” Monika finally said, probably softening when she saw how much Lia is deeply affected with her recent behavior. Lia let out a discreet sigh of relief, happy to see her finally opening up.

“I’ve gotten used to being so alone in this grief that I don’t know how to share it with anyone else but myself. I guess I just don’t want to burden anyone with these dark and heavy thoughts.” Monika exhaled, trying to push back the tears that were threatening to fall. “Also… I know I’m really fucking up as the leader right now, so I think it’s best that you take over, while I try to sort through some things and these feelings. If you want it, that is. I could also ask Hanee if you’re not up for it—“

“I’ll do it.” Lia cut her off, desperate to do anything just to get her friend back to her old self. “I’ll step in temporarily, just until we get you back on your feet again. Just… promise me that you will let me help you every step of the way. Will you be able to do that?” 

“I’ll try, Lia.” Monika looked at her with a small smile, but eyes full of sorrow. “Thank you, for not giving up on me even when I’ve already given up on myself. You really are a true friend.”

“That’s what friends are for right?” Lia almost cried again at that, she knows deep down that it wasn’t just friendship that’s making her do all this. She knows that her feelings run deep, deeper than she’d like, and she feels guilty to be feeling that way towards her clueless friend. It’s been almost three years of her being hopelessly in love with her best friend, she didn’t even know when it transitioned from it being a small, happy crush to it being this huge uncontrollable feeling, but no matter how hard she tried to chase these feelings away, it really seems like it’s here to stay. She really hated herself for it, because she knows nothing good will come of it. If she confessed her feelings, she’d be risking the possibility of changing the course of their friendship forever. And she didn’t want that, she’s happy with what she has with Monika right now, even if that meant hiding what she truly feels for her. It’s too big of a risk, and she thinks that the cons weigh more than the pros. 

“I should go and clean up. Will you be staying?” Monika made a move to stand up, visibly exhausted mentally and physically from the conversation.

For however long you need, Lia wanted to say. There’s nowhere she’d rather be right now than be with her. 

“Yes, I’ll stay and help you clean up. I can’t take the smell of this place anymore.” she jokingly covered her nose, acting disgusted.

Monika pushed her lightly on the shoulders, “Oh I’m sorry, Miss Kim, but no one told you to come here unannounced. I could’ve made this room squeaky clean for you if I knew you’d be coming.” her friend rolled her eyes. 

“Anyway,” Lia carefully broached the subject. “Are you feeling well enough to go to dance practice tomorrow?”

Monika seemed to think hard on that, but her response was still swift, “I think so… Stepping down from being the leader took a little bit of pressure off of me.” her friend looked at her, a growing smile on her face, “And it’s the very first day on the job of our new leader, of course I won’t miss it for the world.” Monika winked at her. 

“Well then, this new leader will happily welcome you back.” she finally smiled at her friend. 

——————

The first day of rehearsals under the new leadership came, and the room was already bustling with excitement when Monika stepped in the door, her teammates probably already got a heads up from Lia that she was finally coming. Everyone rushed to her side, hugging her, saying how the group wasn’t the same without her and just gladly welcoming her back.

That excitement grew even bigger when Monika announced that Lia would be taking over as leader for now since she admitted that she’s not in the best condition right now and the crew deserved to be led by someone who could really bring them to another victory again. Everyone respected her decision and congratulated Lia, saying how they can’t wait to see her in this new role and that it suited her. 

Rehearsals for that week went smoothly with the help of Lia’s direction. Almost too smoothly if Monika was being a little honest.

She acknowledged how talented and skilled she was in leading the crew, and saw how prepared she was. Her friend probably stayed up the day before to create this new routine that they’re learning, or maybe it was something that she’s already created before, but wasn’t able to share it with the team, as respect for her probably. Her innovative ideas that were somehow different from Monika was something that impressed her all throughout the week. She really made the best decision to pass the leadership role to Lia.

But as time went by, Monika’s immature thoughts slowly took root in her mind. A sudden rush of jealousy went through her, as she watched her crew do really well, if not more, under Lia’s leadership. Thoughts of her being useless came to mind as she saw them engaging and interacting with Lia without reservations, something they never did with her. Her teammates always viewed her as more of a teacher, rather than their friend, so that distance was widely felt. Maybe it was her fault, too, maybe she was just too uptight with them or she took being a leader a little too seriously that they didn’t see her as their equal anymore. She tried to chase those dark thoughts away and just focused on finishing today’s practice with no hassle. They only have a week left to prepare until they attend their very first competition in four months. Preparing everything in two weeks should have been impossible before when Monika was in charge, but now, it seems like they’ll just be able to finish just in time. 

Also, she hated to admit it, but she was extremely nervous to get back on stage again. Her love for dance was the reason why she wasn’t able to be by her father’s side when he passed away, so when she lost her father, she almost lost that very same love that she chose over her father that day. If it wasn’t for Lia, she probably would’ve completely abandoned dancing and she probably would’ve chosen a different career path by now. But she loves her friend way too much to completely abandon her right now, too many plans left unfulfilled. She felt guilty that she just thought of how jealous of her she was right now, when she knows that her friend is just doing her best for this team. The very same team that they built together.

She was itching for a drink right at that moment, though. She was already getting too overwhelmed by all these conflicting thoughts swirling through her mind. A bottle or two tonight probably wouldn’t hurt, Monika thought. 

But little did she know that her relapsing that night would lead to her going back to drinking herself to sleep every night, something she promised her best friend she wouldn’t do again.

And what actually made everything worse is that when she went back to drinking every single night, dark, immature and selfish thoughts went back again. They were able to finish the routine for the competition perfectly, and a little early compared to how Monika does it. She was proud of her friend, don’t get her wrong, but at the same time, she thought of how happy her teammates were when Lia became the leader and how they easily accepted it, seeming as if they've been wanting to replace her all this time. All of these thoughts led to her concluding that they probably don’t need her anymore, and that the team would probably be better off without her. That notion stayed with her until the day of the competition arrived. 

She woke up at around 11 AM, already late for their early call time that day. They were supposed to practice that morning before they got ready for the competition later that afternoon. She stretched in her bed, slowly and without a care on how late she was right now. In fact, she’s already made up her mind about ditching the competition today. She didn’t care about what Lia and her team would think anymore, she’s choosing herself today and that meant going clubbing that night and drinking herself stupid and forgetting about disappointing teammates and best friends. She turned her phone off at that moment, already seeing multiple missed calls and messages from her best friend and other team members. She rolled her eyes and threw her phone inside her bedside drawer and hid it away out of sight. She got out of bed to get ready as she planned to be out the whole day just in case Lia comes in unannounced again. 

She’s probably making the worst decision in her life right now but she was just too tired to care. To hell with her life, to be fucking honest. 

Chapter Text

Flashback - 2011 (Continuation)

“Five, six, seven, eight and one!” Lia was leading the practice that morning, despite having one member missing right now. Rehearsals were supposed to start thirty minutes ago but Monika was still nowhere to be found. Instead of waiting around for their former leader to come, they finally started their short dance practice because they needed to travel to the location of the dance competition in an hour and a half.

Truth be told, Lia was already getting worried and, yeah, maybe a little pissed off because she was afraid history seemed to be repeating itself yet again. She’d already called and texted her multiple times, but she still didn’t receive any response. If her friend was back to how she was back then, she’d be responsible enough to at least let them know that she was late or if something had happened. But more than thirty minutes had passed already and her friend was yet to reply. 

She tried to rack her brain for signs of anything going on with Monika ever since she rejoined their rehearsals two weeks ago. She didn’t notice anything amiss since she was still able to attend practice without hassle and she was also a little busy preparing the team for their next competition to think about anything else at that moment. 

As much as she appeared to be as put together as she looks, deep inside she felt a lot of pressure to fill this really big shoe. But she still did her best and worked really hard, because she wanted to impress her best friend, and make her not worry about how the team would fare under this new leadership.

But now, after almost an hour had passed and still no signs of Monika, she thought all of that effort was wasted.

She really did think that if she did her best and led the team to another victory, her friend would slowly go back to her old self, the one who was passionate about dance, and how she’d be inspired again to create new performances for the team after this and step back in as their leader. 

She wanted to be fair and didn’t want to think of the worst, hoping her best friend just slept late and forgot to set an alarm. So for the moment, she tried to vanquish all thoughts of Monika and just focused on the ongoing practice.

————

The practice went on for almost two hours, and in those two hours, Lia’s emotions went through a series of rollercoasters. First, she was slowly losing her mind with worry that Monika wasn’t still replying or calling back, then she got angry at how irresponsible her friend was being right now. Then that worry returned tenfold, thinking something bad really happened to her hence she wasn't physically able to contact any one of them. With that last thought in mind, she told the team that she'd drop by their former leader’s place first and to just meet up by the bus station before they all go. 

When she got to her friend’s apartment, she repeatedly knocked and called for her name, but no one was answering. As her worry intensified even more and there was still no answer from the other side, she used the spare key again. When she opened the door, it was to the sight of an empty apartment. 

She went inside and looked around for any signs of where Monika went. She tried to go to the bathroom door, it was left open so she knew that the room was empty and she wasn’t there. She tried to look around the studio apartment to see if she left a note or something, but immediately thought that that would be ridiculous, because her friend could've texted if she wanted Lia to know where she was going.

What shocked her though, was the pack of beer by the foot of the bed. She saw that it was obviously new because her friend promised her that she'd get rid of all the alcoholic beverages in her apartment after their talk two weeks ago. She saw that a few bottles were already gone from the pack, so she knew that Monika definitely went back to drinking again. When she tried to look around even more, she saw the slightly open bedside drawer and curiosity winning, she tried to peek at what’s inside, hoping she’d get more clues on what's really going on with her friend right now. What was inside though, was her friend’s phone, which she obviously turned off and tried to hide inside the drawer. 

“What the fuck, Monika.” Uncontrollable anger suddenly rose inside Lia. Feeling extremely disappointed at how her best friend lied to her, she stormed out of the apartment and just drove straight to the bus station to meet up with her teammates. She didn’t know how to break the news to them that their former leader might miss the whole competition after all.

When she got there, the members already knew that something was amiss when they saw that she was alone, and with a stormy expression on.

“What happened? Where’s Monika?” Hyowon asked, always the first one to show concern whenever their former leader was involved.

“I went to her apartment and she’s not there. I don’t think she’s coming at all.” 

“Wha— Why? Did she say where was going? What if something happened to her? I tried calling but her phone seemed to be turned off—“

“I don’t know, okay! She didn’t answer any of my calls and texts either because apparently, she left her phone turned off at her apartment. She didn’t even respect me enough to let me know whether she’d come or not. I haven’t heard from her all fucking day!” Lia, frustrated at the sudden turn of events, finally snapped. She felt guilty that she slightly yelled at her teammate, but Monika being MIA again brought out mixed emotions and made her mind a mess. Yes, she was still worried that something might’ve happened to her, but remembering the bottles of beer she saw back at her apartment, she couldn't help but be extremely disappointed and mad at her friend because it seemed like she intentionally decided to abandon her and her teammates on this important day. She exhaled and tried to calm herself down, knowing her teammate didn’t deserve that.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have snapped at you like that.” Lia apologized to the other woman. “Let’s just go so we’ll still have time to figure out how to fix this routine with one less member.” She was already emotionally and physically tired, but she needed to get on that bus right now so she could start figuring out how to do all this and fix everything without Monika. 

————

They were practicing their new formations in their small dressing room when her phone notified her that someone had messaged her. Quickly excusing herself, she immediately took her phone, hoping it was Monika, whom she hadn't heard from the whole day. She was still extremely mad at the woman, but maybe her friend was finally contacting her so she could explain herself. 

When she unlocked her phone, she was disappointed that it wasn’t her friend who was contacting her, but rather it was an unknown number who sent her a photo via iMessage. She opened it via her notifications tab and what she saw almost made her drop the phone in surprise. There was no other message but just that single photo. It was Monika, in a crowded club, photographed without her knowing while seeming to be in a heated conversation with someone. Lia almost went red with anger at what she was seeing. It looked like the photo was taken right at this moment, by who though, she couldn’t be bothered to know right now as she was already blinded with anger by what she was currently seeing. So this is where she went? She ditched her and her teammates and threw away all of that effort and hard work Lia put into making this team survive just to go clubbing? She closed the photo in anger but saw that another text message popped out:

I can’t believe you’re friends with a drug-addict

Drug-addict? What? She tried to look back at the photo and zoomed in to check what the anonymous sender was talking about. What caught her eye was the small plastic that seemed to hold some white powder inside, clenched in Monika’s hand, when it finally clicked. Her friend was holding freaking cocaine. Her best friend not only ditched them and the competition to go to a club, but she was also doing drugs. 

Lia’s mind was already reeling and she couldn’t believe what was happening right now. Thankfully her members took it upon themselves to continue practicing their formations so they didn’t see her almost losing her freaking mind. She couldn’t believe her friend did all of that to her. Why? She kept asking herself. Why would she abandon them on the very first competition that she worked very hard on? Why would she break her promise to her and go back to her old destructive ways? Why would she resort to doing drugs? Why didn’t she go to her when she obviously needed help? Was she not enough? 

She was still standing there unmoving with her phone in hand when it beeped again signaling another message was sent and it was a photo again from the same sender. This time, it was a picture of Monika making out with another woman on the dance floor, and another message:

Tell me if you want more ;)

No. She definitely didn’t want more. She finally made herself reply to the unknown number hoping they wouldn’t send anymore photos that could make her lose her shit even more. 

Please stop, I don’t know who you are or what you’re trying to do by sending these photos but you need to stop. I’ll be blocking your number after this message. Do NOT reply anymore. 

She quickly blocked the number before she could receive another response, then she turned her phone off and put it in her bag. She already saw everything she needed to see. She didn’t know what to feel right now but one thing is definitely certain. She’s done. All of the betrayal, the pain, the hurt, the lies. She knew that she made a promise to Monika that she wouldn’t leave her side, but she needed to know that a person has their limits. And she finally reached hers. The alcohol addiction was one thing, but… drugs? No, she couldn’t involve herself with someone who is so hell bent to ruin their life. Also, she couldn’t let all these precious memories of their friendship be tainted and be destroyed even more. She didn’t want to reach a point where their friendship would  be just full of lies, disappointment and betrayals. She didn’t want to end up completely hating her dearest friend. 

She felt so numb right at that moment that she couldn’t even process the fact that her heart also felt like being squeezed when she saw that last photo of Monika with another woman. She knows that she’s already made peace with the fact that she’s not going to pursue anything with the younger woman, but still seeing her with another felt like her heart was being ripped apart. If she felt even more heartbroken by that photo rather than the first one then that even made her more resolute on the decision that she was about to make. As much as it pained her to finally make a life-changing decision for the both of them, she realized that it’s time to put herself first, because she couldn’t take all this pain anymore. 

————

“Fucking hell. Ow, my head!”

It was the next day and Monika woke up with a terrible headache. She went home at 4 in the morning after partying all night. She was so drunk the whole time that she didn’t know what happened that entire night. She remembered dancing her heart out, trying to forget about how Lia Kim would probably kill her right at that moment. She also remembered getting into an argument with a friend she always hangs out with when she was in that club, but details were still foggy on the reason why she fought them. She vaguely remembers flirting and making out with random women, too, and she let out a sigh of relief that she didn’t go home with one of them. In spite of everything, she’s not the type of person to have one-night stands, always preferring to share her body intimately with someone she truly loves. That won’t be happening anytime soon though as she didn’t have anyone in mind yet and she definitely didn’t have the time for that especially with everything that’s been happening right now.

She suddenly thought of her best friend at that moment and how she immediately felt guilty at what she just did yesterday. Maybe realizing how bad she truly messed up and how she did the most fucked up thing she could ever do to her best friend, sobered her up. She knew her friend didn’t deserve what Monika did to her. How she’s ever gonna get her forgiveness after this, she doesn’t even know.

She groaned and finally reached her phone that she left inside her bedside drawer for the whole day yesterday, afraid to turn it on and see everything that was probably said to her after she missed the competition. But she knew that she needed to contact her best friend and apologize to her immediately.

When she turned it on, she wasn’t surprised when she was bombarded with almost a hundred notifications, all from her teammates, ranging from asking where she was, how she was late, how they were worried, and to asking if she’s still gonna come. She’s not ready to open everything yet, but she wanted to apologize to the one person who she disappointed most of all so she scrolled and looked for their message thread and opened it. What she saw confused her. All the previous messages were what she would’ve expected, though, except for that very last one, sent just this morning: 

Emergency team meeting at 2pm today. Show up for this one at least. 

Holy shit, that was cold. Well, she probably deserved that. That’s it, Monika Shin, you’ve really, really fucked up, she thought. She looked at the time and it was already past twelve so she quickly got out of bed despite her head feeling like it was splitting open. She drank some water and some medicine to ebb the pain away and showered to get ready to go to that meeting. If she wanted to start asking for her best friend’s apology, the first thing to do is to not be late today. 

————

She was five minutes early when she finally arrived at the dance studio where they always practice, and Lia was already sitting in the corner, headphones in and her hoodie on, her head leaning on the wall behind her. She had her eyes closed so she probably didn’t notice that Monika stepped inside the room.

She was still standing in the middle of the room looking at the sleeping form of Lia when her teammates soon went in one after the other. They all coldly greeted her, only nodding their heads with their poker faces on, except for Hyowon, who immediately asked if she was okay. She assured her and said that she was fine, and her teammate gave her a small smile at that, squeezing her shoulder as if telling her that she wasn’t mad at her, unlike her other teammates. 

Hyowon told her that they should take a seat, so she followed her and sat beside her, her teammates already sitting, forming a circle on the floor.

Lia finally opened her eyes by then, as if she sensed that they’re all ready for her. She removed her earphones and stood up. She acknowledged and greeted everyone except for Monika, which was, okay, fair. 

“First of all, congratulations on a very successful competition yesterday. Despite everything, third place isn’t half as bad.” Her friend chuckled at that. “But you’re all probably wondering why I called this meeting right now. I’m afraid I have to give you some bad news.” Lia’s voice was stable, but void of emotion. Her face giving nothing away as to what she’s truly feeling right at that moment. It was the first time Monika saw her like that. They almost never reached a fight so big before that Lia would give her the silent treatment, as they always made up immediately. That’s what she liked about their relationship. They knew how to apologize right away, and never stayed mad at each other for more than a day. 

She knew that this meeting would be about her and what she did yesterday so she stood up as well, trying to get her friend and everyone’s attention so she could properly apologize. But when she was about to speak, Lia finally looked at her, daggers in her eyes.

“Please sit down, I am not done speaking.” 

“But I need to say this to you right now, and to everyone in this room. I truly know how much I fucked up, and I wanted to apologize for that.”

“Well, I promise you that you can speak plenty later, after I’m done.” Lia chuckled, void of humor and stared at her. What she saw in those eyes made her finally sit down. She’s afraid that her best friend was madder than she thought. 

Lia continued addressing her teammates, “I’ve had the most incredible time of my life, by being on this team. I am so glad that I got to dance with highly competent and amazing, talented dancers for the past year. I am proud of us and everything we achieved in the short time that we’ve been together.”

Alarm bells rang in Monika’s mind at what her friend was saying. Is her friend saying what she thinks she’s saying? She looked at her with wide, questioning eyes. 

“But unfortunately, I have to cut this chapter of my life short. Please know that it wasn’t anything you guys did, or that you weren’t enough for me. I’ve just decided to finally move on from this part of my life and focus on working on myself.” Monika saw how hard her friend tried to get the next words out. 

“I’m leaving the team.”

Everyone expressed their surprise at that, her teammates all speaking over each other at the sudden news her best friend said. She finally stood up after having processed everything and making sure that she heard her right.

“What do you mean, leaving? I’m the one who fucked up, why should you be the one to leave?” Monika wanted to cry, she couldn’t believe what was happening right now. Is she going to lose the one person that meant most to her besides her family? 

“You can do whatever you want, but I’ve already made up my mind. I want to focus on myself and do things I haven’t done before. I’m sure you can understand that.” Her friend still looked at her with those eyes that were obviously trying to mask the pain she was hiding inside.

“That’s bullshit and you know it. We all know you’re leaving because of what I did yesterday.”

“Don’t do this, Monika.” Lia warned her, she could now hear the tinge of anger in her voice. 

“Do what? Just say the real reason! Say how much I’ve fucked up and how you’re all disappointed in me! Stop beating around the bush and just say it.” Monika should probably be ashamed at how she was the one getting angry instead, but all decency flew out the window when her friend decided to spew this nonsense. 

“You want me to say it? Fine! I’m done. I’m done picking up after you. I’m done being treated like a worthless piece of shit.” The entire room fell into silence. Monika was wildly confused. Where is this coming from? She didn’t know her friend felt that way. 

“You’re not a worthless piece of shit. Why are you saying that? If you’re still referring to what I did, I’m sorry I didn’t tell you, but I was feeling really bad yesterday that I didn’t have it in me to go to this competition. I tried to clear my mind and go outside to get some fresh air but my phone died and I forgot to tell you—“

“Stop! Just… stop, with all the lies!” Monika was surprised at the sudden burst of emotion from her friend. She never yelled at her like this before. She’s really getting scared at how extremely serious this is quickly becoming. 

“I’m not—“

“Okay, since you so wanted to explain yourself, then explain this .” Lia shoved her phone in front of her face, and saw a photo of herself from yesterday at the club. Okay, maybe she did lie about where she went, but that’s because she didn’t want to anger her friend even more. She didn’t count on someone telling on her, with a photo proof at that. 

She knew it was futile, but she still tried to explain. “Fuck, I’m sorry. I didn’t want to lie but you were just so angry right now that I didn’t want to make it worse by telling you where I really was yesterday. I’m so, so, so sorry, Lia.”

“Then what about the drugs?”

That made her pause. What? 

“What drugs?” She was genuinely confused at that. Her teammates who were watching them also let out a gasp, shocked at the revelation from their current leader.

Lia just took the phone back then shoved it back on her face after zooming in on the photo. It now showed her hand that seemed to be holding something. And that’s when memories of the argument with her friend suddenly flooded back in her mind. That friend was offering that to her, hoping that it would help her emotional predicament at that moment, but she got mad at her friend for even suggesting she’d do something that she thinks is so despicable. She might be a fuck up, but not that much, she thought. She quickly tried to explain herself, hoping to clear this misunderstanding immediately. Is that also why her friend was so mad?

“It wasn’t mine and I didn’t use it. I’ve never used it then and I will never use it now. You know that I wouldn’t do something like that. Please believe me.”

“How can I believe you now? You’ve been lying to me this whole time. You also promised that you would stop drinking, but I went to your apartment yesterday and saw all those bottles of alcohol.”

That, she doesn’t have any excuse for anymore. She did break her promise and went back to drinking again.

“I know I messed up but I swear, those drugs weren’t mine and I didn't use them. A friend tried to offer it to me and put it in my hand but I gave it back and told them that I wouldn’t do such a thing.”

“Well, regardless of what you did, I'm having a hard time believing you anymore. If I didn’t have this photo you would’ve still lied to my face. Admit it, you were never going to tell me where you were.” She didn’t have a response to that because she was probably right. Her friend laughed at the silence, then squinted her face as if holding back the tears that were now threatening to fall. “The fact that you chose to abandon us on a very important day means that you intentionally disregarded all of your teammates' hard work. My hard work. How could you do that?”

Silence. She knew her friend was right. She didn’t know how she could ever ask for forgiveness for that.

“I told you that you can come to me. You can rely on me whenever something’s going on. But no. You chose to do something that would completely hurt everyone that cares about you.” Her friend looked so resigned. “I’m sorry, but I’m done, Monika. And you know I’m not just talking about leaving the group. I need to leave before we end up hurting each other even more.” 

“What do you mean you’re done? Don’t tell me you're throwing away years of friendship just because of this ?” Monika’s voice broke at the last word and she couldn’t help but finally cry. That made her friend cry as well, both of them finally letting the tears that they were holding back all this time, fall. They were both hurting at the very real possibility of breaking their friendship up for good. They didn’t even care that their teammates were all quietly watching everything, anxious at what’s happening to both of their leaders.

“I’ve tried to be there for you all this time, but what you’ve shown me these past few months was that you definitely didn’t need me, and that you care about no one but yourself.”

“That’s not true, and you know that.”

Lia just looked at her, now with just pure sadness in her eyes.

“Sadly, I don’t even know anymore.” Monika felt all the words leave her at that, even though she’s desperate to keep talking, to keep convincing her friend so she wouldn’t leave, she was so emotionally exhausted that she just… gave up. She was still trying to process everything that’s happening. She wondered how long her friend had been bottling all these emotions up inside. She couldn’t blame her friend for snapping and finally giving up on her, and on their friendship. If it was up to her, she'd give up on herself too. Hell, she already gave up on herself before, but her friend’s determination brought her slightly back out of it. Her friend did her best to help her get better, but she just went ahead and ruined everything. She knew her friend wouldn’t make such a big decision if there wasn’t a huge reason for it. She really didn’t know what to say anymore, as she’s never begged anyone to stay in her life. She’s never done it with an ex-lover before since she never felt the need to make them stay so desperately, so she’s truly clueless at how she’s going to make her stay.

Lia waited for her to say something, as if giving her a chance to convince her. But after a few minutes of silence from Monika, her friend finally made up her mind, turned to her teammates and said her goodbyes. They all hugged her as Monika just stood there crying and unmoving, still contemplating on what to say. When Lia was finally leaving, that seemed to spur Monika to move and rushed to take her friend's hand before she left. She reached her by the door, kneeled to the ground and took her friend’s hand and held it with both of her hands. Lia didn’t even turn back to her.

“Please, don’t leave. I promise I’ll do better, I’ll do whatever you say, I’ll stop drinking, I’ll stop partying, I’ll stop missing practice, I’ll be a better friend. I’ll do everything. Just… please… don’t leave.” She knew she was being pathetic right now but she didn’t care. She can’t lose Lia, her best friend, the person she cares for the most—

“Let me go, Monika. For both of our sake.”

“No, please, you can’t leave me too–“

“Monika. Let. me. go.”

God, Monika was bawling and she couldn’t even control it, she didn’t have it in her to let go of the other woman’s hand. She even tightened her hold. 

But she knew that she needed to respect her friend’s wishes. She couldn’t imagine the hurt she bestowed upon her friend to make her finally leave her for good. 

And so with a heavy heart, she finally let her hands slip and let her go. She felt her whole world crash down on her. She can’t believe that she finally lost the person that meant the most to her. The person who she thought would be there by her side forever, making plans and achieving dreams together. She realized right there and then, that it’s time to finally snap out of it. Enough is enough. She’ll do what her friend asks of her all this time. If she gets her back in the process, then much better. 

It’s time to bring the old Monika back.

Chapter Text

The day of the first ever meeting for the show arrived, and Monika was already sitting in the room where they will hold the meeting waiting for the others to come. She wanted to make a good first impression so she arrived a little early, and as they’ll be having this meeting with the producers and other dance coaches, she made an extra effort in making herself look presentable. She wore a nice white long-sleeved top and paired it with some baggy pants. She even had her hair down and curled it at the ends and wore her makeup much nicer than usual. Bae Yoon Jung was also there, sitting beside her, and one other producer who was busy talking on the phone, standing in the corner of the room. Some production staff were also there setting up the cameras as they will also be filming this first meeting. 

She wondered who the other two dance coaches were though, hoping they were someone who’s also well respected in the dance community. She was already impressed that they got Bae Yoon Jung, who’s been a famous dance instructor for years now, and she knows that she has an extensive resume. And also the fact that they invited her, a mere unknown to the public, but has a good reputation in the dance scene, clued her in that the other coaches will also be renowned dancers. 

She was surprised when Boa and her team entered the room. She was a pretty popular singer and she wasn’t purely a dancer, but she guessed she could still acknowledge the fact that she’s still one of the greatest performers in the country and she’s someone who has a lot of experience in this industry. She thought that it made sense that she was part of this program. She stood up to greet her, introduced herself and said how she was a big fan of hers, and said that she looked forward to working with her. It was all very pleasant and everyone was very welcoming and friendly. She just hoped that it was all genuine though and not just because they knew that the cameras were rolling. Imagine if she’d have to work with a diva or someone equally despicable, she’d probably lose her sanity and won’t be able to hold back, her image be damned. 

While waiting for the last remaining dance coach and the head producer, she tried to have a small conversation with the people that were already present in the room. They were getting to know more about each other, then asking about her job and what she does and how long she’s been in the dance industry, when the sound of a woman laughing rang outside, and an amused, but very familiar voice told her to keep it down. 

That sent chills through Monika's body, and she stopped talking mid-conversation. 

No, it can’t be— 

How careless of her to not think about the possibility of her being a part of this very dance-oriented reality show, when she knew that she was in almost every single one of this type of programs. You’d think that she was the only dancer available in the country with the amount of shows that she’s been in that required someone in the dance community.

She remembered how her former best friend shot to fame years after that eventful day. That awful day Monika tried very hard to forget as it only brought up painful memories. Memories of a past where she almost lost everyone and everything near and dear to her. As much as she wanted to move on from that day and from her best friend, it was hard as she always saw her in almost everything, as her former friend became a household name.

She was on the verge of having a panic attack because she sure as hell wasn’t prepared to face her after almost twelve years of not seeing each other face to face. She was so focused on thoughts of her current predicament and the uncertainty of her dance academy that she failed to think about the possibility of running into her former best friend on this show. 

How can she face someone again after a bad falling out more than a decade ago? How can she face the person she never saw ever again after all those years, and the one you completely stopped talking to after that huge fight? The very last conversation (conversation was pushing it a little bit) that she could remember with her was that drunk text she sent her former friend, months after she left. 

hrllo? R u yhere? I mss u :((;(((

plreass replu

I needd u

I’m sp sprry :;;()(((

Monika didn’t receive a response that night, but when she woke up the next morning, shame and regret filled her when she saw the very last text that her friend would ever send her:

Were you drunk last night? You still haven’t changed, haven’t you? Please do me a favor and delete my number and never contact me ever again.  

In her defense, she just had a drink or two because she was particularly missing her friend more than usual that day, she didn’t plan on getting totally wasted. But that text quickly made her even more ashamed of herself, so after that day, she promised herself that she would stay off of alcohol for the rest of her life.

Truth be told, Monika still tried to reach out after the very day that her friend left, because she just couldn’t accept the fact that that was the way they left things. But as expected, her friend didn’t reply to any of her texts, never answered any of her calls, and when she tried to go to her apartment, she found out that it was already emptied out and the landlord informed her that her friend had already moved out. Months without contact and not knowing what happened to the other woman, she stopped trying to reach out to her, and respected her friend’s decision to end things and finally gave her the space she needed. It was hard, but she guessed that that was the least she could do for her friend for all the hell she went through because of her. If she didn’t want to see Monika anymore, then she’d try her best to make sure they never cross paths again. And when she heard through the grapevine that Lia returned doing dance battles again, it was also around the time that her and Hyowon set out to be a dancing duo after their team disbanded (it also happened the same day Lia left), so she was extra careful not to attend the same competition her former friend was attending hoping she wouldn’t accidentally run into her. If that was what her friend wanted, then that’s what she’d give her.

Years passed, and she heard that her former friend established a new dance studio of her own. Her family was incredibly well-off so there was no question as to how fast she was able to build her company. She heard that Lia bought an entire building, and they renovated and decorated it really nicely to make it into a huge dance academy. It quickly became successful too, and being one of the first studios to consistently post their choreographies on Youtube, they soon became viral on that platform, garnering a lot of supporters and subscribers. Monika shouldn’t even know that information, as she promised herself that she would steer clear from everything that concerned Lia, but curiosity winning, she’d browse and check these videos out especially on the days that she missed seeing her former friend dance. If she only watched the videos where her former friend was the featured choreographer, then that’s only for her and her to know. 

Don’t get her wrong though, she was definitely happy for her friend, but she couldn’t help but think about that conversation where they talked about their dreams a few years before their falling out. She was glad that her friend was able to achieve her dream of opening her own dance studio, but she felt anguished as they originally planned to do this with together, to become future Co-CEOs running their own dance academy.

Her world almost stopped when Lia and Gabee finally stepped inside the room. Everything fell away around her when their eyes finally met. She can’t believe she would be seeing those eyes again in this lifetime, but here they are. 

After a few seconds, she realized that she was staring and surprise was clearly evident on her face, so she quickly schooled her features because she knew that there were also cameras capturing their reactions. She stood up as she saw that the other people in the room were already standing and greeted the new people who entered the room.

As they were the last people to come in, Gabee, the head producer, told them to take their seats so they could finally start their meeting. There was only one empty seat left directly in front of Monika, so Lia didn’t have a choice but to sit in front of her. She saw how Lia tried her best to avoid her gaze, and she just looked at the producer’s way where she seemed to be busy listening to. She tried to follow her and listen to everything that was being discussed as well but she had a hard time focusing as her friend who she hadn't seen in twelve years, was now sitting right there in front of her. She didn’t even realize that she was staring at her former friend the whole time, until the other woman finally met her gaze, a fake smile on her face. She blushed at suddenly getting caught, so she immediately looked away to focus on the producers, but saw that they were looking at her as well expectantly. That made her face redder than ever before. She was saved by the humiliation of having to repeat what they probably asked her when Lia spoked.

“Yeah, of course it’s great to see an old friend again. It’s nice to be able to work with someone who you’ve already known for years, and whose work you’re already familiar with.” 

Oh, they probably must’ve asked about them being former teammates. She knew that question would come up at some point as one of the producers knew them when they were still a crew. She looked back at Lia again, the other woman continued talking and letting them know more about their previous working relationship as former teammates. No one outside their crew actually knew that they had a bad falling out, and she was thankful that everyone kept a tight lip on that issue, even if they didn’t tell them to keep it a secret. Even when she was the reason that their team became completely destroyed, they still respected her enough to protect her reputation. 

She was staring at Lia the entire time and she almost missed the words directed at her again because she was spacing out, thinking about the past and their former crew. 

“Isn’t that right, Monika?” she heard the little sound of annoyance in her voice. That’s when she knew that her friend was still very much mad at her, despite her nice words and the way she smiled at her the entire time.

Monika had no freaking clue what she was talking about so she just blindly agreed and nodded her head, hoping no one would know that her mind just went somewhere else.

After that, Monika kept stealing glances at Lia's way and wondered what the older woman was truly thinking at that moment. Was she just as surprised and confused? If she was then she definitely did a better job at hiding it than Monika. Was she also longing for her friend? Well that would probably be a no since her friend had probably forgotten about her by now, as she’s now a big deal in this industry and she probably has far more important things to think about than an old friend who betrayed her all those years ago. 

The later part of the meeting went by smoothly, which was the complete opposite as to what Monika was feeling right now. Nothing was truly going her way right at that moment. How is she gonna spend all these months working with the person who hates her the most? If she just wasn’t desperate for this opportunity, she would probably quit right there and then.

Also, the rest of the meeting was just a discussion about the mechanics of the show and more information about the format of the program, which Monika thankfully paid attention to, so she got the gist of how the competition would go: 

There’ll be 24 female dancers competing all in all, their ages ranging from 19 to 45. There'll be four dance coaches, and each coach will select three dancers to be on their team in the first round. They’ll eliminate one dancer per round after that first round until there’ll be one dancer left in each team in the finals. There’ll be a total of three rounds and a finale. The first round is the team selection; from the 24 dancers, only three dancers will be selected for each judge. If they exceed three dancers, they’ll have to choose who to eliminate from their team. The second round is a group dance for each team and one dancer who did worst will be eliminated from each judge. The third round is the semi-finals where the last two dancers from each team will have a battle performance. All rounds except for the finale will have the coaches pick and eliminate the contestants themselves. The final round is pretty self-explanatory, as one dancer will represent each coach and there will be a voting system to determine the winner.

It was all pretty easy to understand, she just has to get the best dancers on her team, so she has a chance to get more support from the public. That’s what she came here for anyway, to promote herself and her dance company and see how they were also deserving to be in the limelight and to be widely appreciated by the general public.

————

After the meeting ended, they all said their goodbyes and everybody quickly stepped out of the room, as if they all had another schedule to attend. As she went out of the room and into the hallway, Monika sent a quick text message to Hyowon and told her that she wouldn’t believe who was part of the cast. She was so focused on her phone that she wasn’t able to look where she was going so she didn’t know that she was going straight to another person. She collided with them, hard.

She immediately apologized without looking up and was surprised when an angry tone replied back to her. 

“Can you please watch where you’re going? It’s bad enough that you weren’t paying attention earlier. Now you’re just carelessly bumping into people.”

She almost got whiplash at the way she quickly looked up to the source of that dangerously angry voice. 

“Lia, I’m so—“

“I know you’re new to all this, but if you could try and at least pretend that you’re not a total amateur, that would be perfect. They already know that we’re former teammates and knew each other from before. I don’t want my name to get dragged down with you if you don’t pull yourself together.” 

She was too stunned to even reply to what she just heard. So this is how their first real interaction would go? She didn’t expect anything less to be honest. She just stood there, opened and closed her mouth like a fish, still speechless at what just happened and anger slowly rising within her. She understands that the other woman still hates her until now, but that doesn’t give her the right to belittle her. 

“Excuse me? How dare you—“ How dare Lia question her professionalism , is what she wanted to say but wasn’t able to as one of the production staff from the show passed by and tried to greet them, but as if sensing the tension, they just bowed and quickly passed through. She tried to reel her anger in before someone passed by again and accidentally eavesdropped on this conversation. One thing she didn't want to do is start a rumor that they hate each other (which is actually true but that’s beside the point). 

“Okay, I'm sorry that I bumped into you, but don’t you think that’s being a little too much?” She scoffed. “I may be a bit new at this but I’m not totally clueless and naïve. So, don’t worry, I can handle myself.” Monika calmly said, she looked directly at Lia’s eyes, trying to make her believe that she’s not the same irresponsible leader that she left twelve years ago. 

She couldn’t believe that this is actually happening right now though, that the person she badly wanted to avoid but at the same time wanted to actually see the most, was standing right in front of her with daggers in her eyes, having this conversation as if it was a continuation of their confrontation years ago. The only difference is that right now, Lia probably won’t quit on her this time. In conclusion, they’d both be forced to work with each other again. In this very hostile environment.

Oh this should be fun, she sarcastically thought.

————

Lia was glad that she already knew beforehand that her former best friend would be there, so she was at least able to control her reaction when she finally saw Monika in the flesh again. But honestly? Nothing could prepare her for the sudden onslaught of confusing emotions at seeing the person who gave her so much pain and heartbreak. If this show was offered to her years ago, during her peak, the only way they could get her to join is over her dead body. But right now, this opportunity is the one thing she very much needs at the moment so no matter who she was going to be working with, she’d power through it and just focus on her goal.

Her resolve to completely control her feelings almost went weak though, when she found herself standing face to face with the other woman. Her former friend just collided with her a few minutes ago, and she couldn’t help but snap at her reckless actions. But seeing the way her friend was slightly upset at her words, Lia’s anger slowly ebbed away, almost guilty at the way she went off on her. 

She also noticed how closely they were both standing in front of each other, so she involuntarily took a good look at her former friend. She hasn’t laid eyes on her ever since she broke up their friendship. The younger woman looks healthy at least, but she can’t help but notice how tired she also looked, as there were bags under her eyes. Her former friend probably had problems of her own as well, as she always looked this way whenever she was under a lot of stress. What changed over the years though, was how the other woman still looked quite beautiful, the years have definitely been good to her, her features got sharper and her face showed that maturity that she didn’t have before, it was definitely enticing to look at— wait, what? Lia tried to snap out of those thoughts and realized that she was already staring and that she hadn't replied yet to what Monika just said.

Careful not to let her true emotions show, she tried not to play too nice, lest the other woman thinks that there’s still hope for them. She could already see it in Monika’s eyes, the way the other woman looked at her, especially during the meeting where she could feel those eyes staring longingly at her. She almost snapped at her former friend right then because the staring was getting a little too obvious and she felt uncomfortable with the possibility of everyone seeing how Monika looked at her. 

“Well so far, you haven’t been doing a good job at handling yourself .” Lia put air quotes on that, mocking the other woman. “Need I remind you that once this program is out, the public now owns you. Every little thing about your life, your past, your secrets, if you’re not careful, can be revealed. And if they saw even a little bit of information about you that they don’t like, you’d go down in a heartbeat.”

“You don’t need to worry about me.”

“Oh, I’m not worried about you.” She chuckled sardonically, “I’m worried about me. Once they know that I was your… friend, my name would definitely be caught up in it as well. And I’ve worked so hard to get to where I am right now that I won’t just let someone like you ruin it.”

She saw how those words affected the other woman, her demeanor changed as she stood there with her brows furrowed and visibly getting more upset at how Lia’s basically undermining her. She saw her former friend take a step forward and looked at her with glaring eyes. Lia almost gulped at the sudden intrusion in her space, and she could already smell the floral perfume the woman was wearing. “Couldn’t you be more melodramatic?” the other woman rolled her eyes, “If accidentally bumping into you already brought out so much vitriol out of you, then I think you should be worrying about yourself first.” As if remembering where they were right now and thinking about people overhearing them, the other woman visibly tried to tone down her anger and took a deep breath, “I’ll try to stay out of your way next time. I’ve been doing it for the last twelve years anyway, this should be a piece of cake. And as I’ve said before, don’t worry about me possibly harming this show, because I want it to succeed, too. Actually, you should prepare yourself, because you know how competitive I could get.” Monika stepped even closer, their faces mere inches away, breaths almost mingling and said in a hushed tone, “Prepare to get your ass kicked, Miss CEO.” 

Lia let out a small gasp as she remembered the first time Monika called her that. When life was simple and all they had was each other, their love for dance and their dreams. A sudden rush of thrill went through her body, not expecting that challenge from Monika and seeing her confident and competitive side again. Luckily for the other woman, she’s just as equally competitive and she won’t go down without a fight. Maybe this show could turn out to be fun after all, and not something she’d dread. A smirk slowly appeared on her face.

“Is that a challenge, Miss Monika? You know I never back out of a challenge. I have to warn you though, I won't make it easy for you. I don't like losing.” Lia smugly replied.

“Really? So do I." 

She shouldn’t be enjoying this way too much, but she can’t help it especially when she can also see how her former friend was getting a little excited as well. She knows how much the other woman enjoyed a really good competition. 

The tension was so thick it could cut the air though, as they were both trying to assert dominance over the other. Fortunately (or unfortunately, Lia thought), the moment got interrupted when Monika’s phone suddenly rang. 

Lia tried to blink the haze that she was in, trying to make sense of what just came over her and why she was suddenly so hot, almost tempted to fan herself in the face. She cleared her throat and stepped back, realizing that the lack of space between her and Monika was almost nonexistent and a blush threatened to appear on her cheeks. She saw the other woman excused herself and quickly turned away from her, but not before she saw the redness on the other woman’s face as well. Good to know that the other woman was just as equally flustered. 

She heard the other woman answer the phone and heard that it was their other former teammate on the other line. A pang of jealousy shouldn’t have made sense at the sudden thought of Monika and Hyowon having the kind of relationship she had with Monika back then. She knew how Hyowon was definitely a little in love with Monika all those years ago, having known all the signs all too well as she’s been in the same predicament as her former teammate then. Maybe they even took it to another level, especially when she knew that they’re now running their own dance studio together and living under the same roof. That last information was relayed to her by a dance instructor who teaches at both of their academies. She was definitely not intentionally keeping tabs on what’s going on with her former friend’s life. Maybe Hyowon took the risk that she’s been too afraid to take, and it led to a happy ending for the both of them. 

That made her feel irritated even more though, because she should’ve been over Monika by now, and all feelings and emotions she used to have for her should be long gone. She shouldn’t care who she shares her bed with these days. It’s been twelve years, for fuck’s sake. 

Get a hold of yourself, Lia Kim.

Chapter Text

“Really? So do I”

On the outside, Monika is the image of full confidence, her chin up and trying to look down on Lia despite being almost the same height, but inside, well, her nerves are all over the place. Why the hell did she challenge her like that? She just wanted to get out of this alive, drama-free and to avoid her former friend as much as possible so she can achieve what she came here to do and save their studio, so why? Maybe it was the years of all the pent up emotions towards her friend. If she was being a little honest, she did resent Lia when she left her at a time when she needed her the most. Although she admits that she’s the only one to blame for her friend’s decision, she still couldn’t help but feel like her friend should’ve tried to understand her more. She did just lose her father during that time, and her best friend knew how much he meant to her. She also couldn’t help but be a little jealous of her friend’s success. She knows that she’s just as equally good as her, so why is she doing a whole lot better than her? She knew that it’s unhealthy to compare herself to other people’s achievements but she thought of how unfair life is. They started their careers at the same time but only one went up swimmingly while the other sank and struggled to float and get back up, no matter how hard they tried. She thought that if she beat Lia in this show, this could make people finally see that she’s also deserving of the success her former friend has.  

But that tiny voice that’s nagging in the back of her head was saying that maybe, maybe she just really missed her friend. She missed being able to speak to her, to stand right in front of her and to just be able to feel her presence near her. She thought that if this is the only way that they can communicate right now, as she knows that they will probably never go back to the way they were, then she’d take anything she could get. 

Their moment got interrupted when her phone loudly rang. That’s when she noticed that they were already sharing the same space, and they were almost touching with the lack of distance between them. She didn’t know why that just made her a little nervous and flustered, and how she could already feel how red her face was becoming. Afraid of further embarrassing herself and letting the other woman know how this is affecting her, she quickly excused herself and turned around and walked away to answer the phone.

She saw that it was Hyowon calling her and she almost forgot how she sent a text message to her friend earlier, right before she bumped into Lia and that whole confusing thing happened. Her heart was still hammering wildly in her chest when she answered the phone.

“Yes, Hyowon?”

“Finally! I’ve already sent like a hundred replies to your text. You can’t just keep me hanging like that. I’m dying over here!”

Monika laughed, she knew how impatient her friend could get especially when there is juicy gossip involved. 

“Sorry, I’ll tell you all about it when I get back to the office.” She felt guilty about making her friend wait even more, but it would be best if this conversation was happening in person, and not over the phone.

“Ugh, fine! But know that I hate you right now, Monika Shin.”

“I’ll be there in a few. Don’t die on me yet.” she chuckled. She started to walk to the exit when she remembered that she didn’t properly say goodbye to Lia. Wait, how would she “properly” say goodbye though? It’s not like they were having the most pleasant conversation earlier. She turned around and looked back to where Lia was standing before and saw that the other woman had already left. Well, she’s glad that she at least avoided another awkward interaction with her. After making sure that the other woman was really gone, she continued walking to the exit so she could finally go back to her studio. 

—————

Lia is already back in her office and sitting in her chair when she called one of the casting directors from the show that she already knew before and tried to get information on the contestants that are gonna be competing. As much as possible, she liked to be completely in control and not be surprised about the people that she might further encounter in this show. This tactic about knowing who was gonna be in it in advance definitely helped before, as she got to prepare herself when she knew that she was about to meet and work with Monika again.

She almost thought about how this is cheating but she just doesn’t care. She’s also desperate to win this thing and so, in order to gain the upper-hand, she needs to know about the contestants and the possible dancers that are going to be on the show so she could filter out who she wants and strategize in advance on how she’s gonna get them on her team.

If she could indirectly persuade them to choose them even before the show starts, then much better.

There was a little reluctance when Lia asked the casting director for the list but reminding them of all the favors she did for them before, like when they badly needed a dancer at the last minute, or for someone to step in as a choreographer, she was able to provide all of that for them. 

And so, she finally got her hands on the twenty-four dancers that are going to be in the first round. 

A lot of the dancers were familiar to her, some of them were students in her dance academy, and some were dance instructors. Some she knew from when she was active in the dance battle scene and when she was doing competitions back when she was in a group with Monika.

But two people really stood out to her. She saw that Jihye and Jiyoung are part of this list. They now use the names Buckey and Baby Sleek as their stage names. 

Two people who are once again, a direct reminder of her past.

It’s not that she didn’t see some of her former members before, Jiyoung and Hyojin even conduct classes in her studio regularly, but she mostly let her staff handle transactions between the instructors, and she never directly talks to them. It was probably not the most respectful thing to do, especially when she never had any issues with them before, but just seeing them in person brings back so many bad memories that she’d avoid anything and anyone that could make her remember everything she didn’t want to remember anymore.

Thoughts of Monika assailed her mind again and that moment earlier where they were mere inches apart and could feel each other’s breaths. 

So much for trying to forget everything about her former friend when that sole interaction already got her heart pumping with anticipation and excitement. 

She reminded herself again about the reason why they fell out in the first place. Thinking about it now, she probably might have overreacted. Should she have stayed and let Monika explain herself? Should she have believed her and have given her another chance? Even if she stayed, there’s still no guarantee that Monika would change, especially if her friend knew that Lia would be there to fix her shortcomings anyway. Maybe her leaving was needed so that her former friend could finally fix her life for good. And from what she could see right now, the younger woman seems to be doing okay, and she’s finally established herself in the dance community. If she was being a little honest, that made her a little proud of the other woman.

Meeting her again definitely brought back a lot of confusing feelings back, which is something that she didn’t really want to experience anymore. She can’t let all those years of hard work to move on from the woman and the feelings she had for her to be undone in a single interaction. No, she should be stronger than that. She’s definitely stronger than that.

Snapping herself out of thoughts of Monika, she focused on the task at hand and proceeded to get to know more about the contestants on the show.

—————

Monika finally arrived back at the studio after attending the meeting. She immediately headed back as she also needed to work on a choreo for tonight’s class. 

Before she even stepped foot inside their small office, Hyowon was already up and was in front of Monika in a flash. Hyowon put her hands on her shoulders and squeezed a little harder than usual.

“Okay, woman. Spill! You’ve made me wait long enough.”

Monika was amused at her best friend’s impatience, so she teased her even more. 

“Hmm. I have to work on a choreo for tonight, though. I’ll just tell you everything after.” She tried her best to hold in her smile. 

Hyowon whined at her cruelty, and having had enough, her friend pulled her inside and trapped Monika between herself and the closed door. What’s up with women and them standing so freaking close to her today?  

Her friend put her hands on the door behind her and placed it on both sides of her head, then the younger woman threatened to keep her there forever until she told her everything. Everything .

Monika wasn’t fazed so she just continued teasing her friend, “It’s okay, this is actually pretty cozy” she then proceeded to lay her head on Hyowon’s right forearm. As much as it amused her to see her friend almost losing it, to tell the truth, she was actually just stalling so she can avoid talking about it for as long as she can.

She doesn’t know how to tell her friend that her life is about to become a huge complicated mess.

—————

“Monika, I swear–“ Hyowon suddenly stopped talking when she saw Monika carefully lay her head on her forearm and how soft her friend’s face looked at that moment. It took her a few minutes to realize that the older woman had closed her eyes, and appeared to be… sleeping? 

Hyowon was torn whether to tease her right back and playfully remove her hand so that her friend’s head would fall, or if she should just stay there and watch how peaceful Monika looks right now.

But she sensed that Monika was actually tired, the meeting probably exhausted her. Plus she knew that they were currently having problems with their studio so she knew that her friend is not in the best of conditions right now. Considering all of this, she just cleared her throat to wake her friend up gently. She watched how Monika’s eyes slowly fluttered open.

She almost squirmed at how the other woman just remained there and stared at her, her face already becoming serious and seeming to be contemplating something. After a few moments, she almost jumped when her friend suddenly spoke. 

“It’s Lia Kim, Hyowon.”

She was shocked to hear that name slip out of Monika’s lips again, and that was probably showing on her face. 

“Lia Kim? As in our former teammate Lia Kim?”

“The one and only.” Monika solemnly said, she straightened herself and Hyowon followed suit and finally removed her hands on the door. She turned and went back to her seat. She needed to process this information sitting.

Hyowon was always a little jealous of Lia back then, with the way she and Monika would always be attached at the hip, and how Monika thought of Lia as the only one who knows her the most and the one she could rely on. Hyowon always stepped back and knew that there wasn’t any space in Monika’s heart back then for another person to trust as much as she trusted Lia. She knew that their former leader wasn’t the type to just easily let someone in. And as much as she wanted to stay close at Monika’s side especially during that time when her father died, she wasn’t able to as Lia was the one who was always there. She wanted to be the one who’s doing all that for Monika, she wanted to be the one by her side, the one she could ask for help first, the one she trusts the most. She wanted to be that person for her because she loves her and wanted to do everything for her. 

But she wasn’t selfish. She knew what Monika needed and if it meant stepping back and just letting Lia be the one to do all that for her, then she'd just accept loving her from afar and become someone that Monika could easily reach out to when she needed a friend.

And that day came when Lia left Monika for good and the team disbanded.

She couldn’t even rejoice because Monika was broken and devastated. Not only did she lose her father, but she also lost her best friend and her dance crew. 

She was more than happy to pick up the pieces, though. When everybody left her, she was the only one who stayed through and through and helped Monika get back up again. Until she finally became the one her friend relied on the most. 

She also planned to confess to her after everything that happened, she was just waiting for the right timing. But unfortunately, that time never came as it almost took a year for Monika to fully return to her old self again, and after that they became busy with preparations for building their own dance academy, and everyday after that was focused on working on running their studio. She never found the right moment to say her true feelings as they were almost always busy every single day. Not only that, but Monika never even looked at her the same way she looked at her friend all those years. That’s why she’s thinking of completely giving up on the idea of them taking their relationship to the next level. She didn’t want to make things awkward between them if Monika didn't reciprocate her feelings.

And now, here they are and Lia’s probably back in their life again. She doesn't know what to feel about that. She knows how much of an impact their former teammate had on her best friend’s life. She’s afraid that things would go back to the way things were and she’d go back to being in second place after Lia. 

But regardless of what she feels, she knows that Monika would probably be the one who’s going to have a hard time in all this, so she’s ready to set aside all complicated feelings so she can be there to support her all the way. 

“How was it? Meeting her again for the first time?” she carefully asked.

“It was… definitely what you would expect.” Monika chuckled, but void of humor, and took a seat at her office chair. She was looking at the wall as if remembering everything that happened earlier. She relayed how they acted like they were just people reuniting again after not working with each other for years, and not someone who had a bad history. Some of the producers knew how they used to be teammates, so her friend told her how they also asked and talked about that. She also mentioned that after the meeting, she accidentally bumped into Lia, and they had an altercation. Her friend cringed at the memory. 

“And then we were both so mad and by the end of it, I was saying how I'm definitely going to beat her in this show.” Monika turned to her desk and bowed her head down. “I don't know what came over me, I was determined to avoid her as much as possible because I don’t need all these added drama in my life. Especially with what we’re going through right now.” Monika raised her head again and turned to her, “We’ve been given a chance to reject this offer, though. I haven't signed the contract yet.”

“Well… Have you already thought about it? You know it’s fine if you don’t go through with it. Don’t think about anything right now and focus on what’s best for you. We can always find another way to save this studio. Remember how we built this academy from scratch? We both have nothing but a dream and a love for dance, and now it’s been, what? Almost eight years since we started? And we’re still here. And we’ll continue to be here. This is just another bump in the road.”

That put a smile on Monika’s face. Even though Hyowon wanted to outright tell her to reject this show, to stop her so she wouldn’t see her former friend again, she still tried to think of what’s best for her best friend. She knew that the other woman would still want to do this regardless of who was in the show, because she’s the type of person who doesn’t want to let anyone down. And she knew that her friend thought that by rejecting this show, she’d be letting her down since they both know that this is the best solution right now to their current predicament. 

“It’s fine, Hyowon. I've already decided.”

A pause, then Monika took a deep breath.

“I want to do it.”

Chapter Text

It was the week where the first day of shooting of the show would start but Monika couldn’t be bothered to think about it now as she was too occupied with the current situation in their studio. The landlord reminded them about their rent dues earlier that week so they became even more pressured and they were highly stressed for most of the week.

She promised their landlord that they will partially pay off their dues since she’s gonna be in a high-budget show soon. Luckily, her contract allows her to get her initial paycheck after they shoot the first round, which would be around this weekend. It will last for two days and probably by Monday, she’ll finally receive the money which should be able to cover a quarter of their past dues. 

Thankfully, their landlord believed them and let them off the hook for now.

Monika almost forgot to prepare for the upcoming shoot until that Friday night, where she felt reality hit her like a truck and all she could think about is how she’s going to strategize and win this thing. It’s not in her nature to come in unprepared so forgoing sleep, she stayed up until the wee hours of the morning working on a system and how she’s going to present herself in this show. She thought about how to make a very lasting impression to the public but in a very positive way. All of this would be for naught if she didn’t make an impact all throughout the show.

The day of the first shoot finally came and Monika, only having two hours of sleep, is already filled with a mixture of nerves, anticipation and excitement. She thought that it’s probably because it’s her first time in her career that she’s going to be in a broadcasted show. It’s definitely not because she’s going to see her former friend again. No, she’s actually dreading to see her. She’s totally neutral about her. Totally. 

Monika arrived at the location of the broadcasting studio and went inside the building where they’ll be shooting the show. There was an assistant who helped her and showed the way to her dressing room. 

Fate must be playing tricks with her because right across her dressing room door is none other than Lia’s dressing room, which had the door open and she can see the older woman’s reflection on the mirror. She was dozing off while getting her hair and makeup so she wasn’t able to see her.

But right as someone was closing the door, Lia opened her eyes as if sensing that someone was watching her, and their eyes met briefly through the mirror.

Monika stood there for a few seconds after she quickly snapped out of it and finally entered her dressing room to get ready herself.

—————

An assistant knocked on the door to Lia’s dressing room and told her that they’ve already begun the shoot and it was now their cue to introduce the coaches. She exhaled a breath and stood up, trying to shake all anxious thoughts away. She’d be lying if she said that she wasn’t feeling a little nervous, since this will be one of the biggest shows she’s going to be in where she’s a regular part of the cast, after not being in one in a very long time. Not only that, but she’d be working again with the person she tried so hard to forget, in close proximity at that, and for a long period of time, since these kinds of shoots almost last the whole day. God, she hopes that she’s mentally, physically and emotionally prepared for today. 

As she was getting out of her room, Monika, the current subject of her thoughts, was also in the middle of stepping out of the room across from her.

It was a good thing she arrived earlier than usual a while ago so she at least got to prepare herself for the possibility of bumping into her since she saw that the younger woman’s dressing room was just right across from her.

Lia stopped in her tracks when she saw what Monika was wearing. This is probably the first time she has seen her this dolled up and wearing a very elegant dress, appropriate for a cast member in a show of this caliber. Their dance crew mainly focused on hip hop dances so they rarely wore feminine clothes as costumes. Monika probably wore dresses every now and then when she was out clubbing before but as Lia never joined her, since it was always during the time when they were rehearsing and she was preoccupied with taking care of the team and filling the gaps that she left, so she rarely saw her all dressed up. And this was highly different as she had professionals to help her former friend with her overall look.

Monika is wearing a black, fitted long-sleeved dress that stopped at her knees. The top part is a thin see-through lace fabric and she can see her black bra underneath. It was revealing but still not revealing too much, as she was almost covered from top to bottom. Her hair is curled and fixed in a loose low ponytail and her bangs were styled to perfection. She realized that her former friend could pass for a model when dressed-up like this, very different from her usual look as a dance professor. Well, she always knew that Monika had always been pretty, so why is her heart still hammering in her chest right now at how beautiful her former friend looks right now? She guesses that she needs to accept the fact that there will always be a lingering attraction towards the younger woman that can’t be helped no matter how hard she tries.

She stood there for a few seconds, embarrassed to realize that her mouth was slightly open while staring at Monika, almost not noticing that the other woman, too, stopped in her tracks and was slowly taking in Lia’s outfit as well. As for her outfit, she had on a low-cut fitted blazer dress that was cut at the sides and exposing the skin of her waist. It was a mid-thigh length dress and was shorter than what Monika was wearing. Her former friend had an unreadable look on her face, and her eyes were traveling all over Lia’s body, until her eyes moved upwards and their eyes slowly met.

She saw how Monika reluctantly gave her a small, polite smile and bowed her head, a slight blush on her cheeks, seemingly a little embarrassed of having been caught checking her out. That made her mind more of a mess than it was before already. What the hell just happened? Surely her former friend wasn’t looking at her like that , right? Maybe she was just as surprised to see her dressed up like that for the first time in person. Yes, that was probably it.

She didn’t say anything anymore since she felt her throat getting dry, and just bowed her head in acknowledgement to the other woman’s small greeting. She’ll be damned if Monika hears her voice crack or something. 

She finally stepped towards the direction of where the shoot is taking place, following the assistant who was showing the way until they reached a dark hallway, where they’re gonna wait for their cue to be introduced 

She vaguely hears the assistant talking to someone behind her, and realized that it was Monika who was just right behind her. She didn’t turn around just in case the younger woman dared to make small talk with her.  

“So Miss Monika, they will introduce BaeYoon Jung and Boa first,” the assistant turned to her, “then you’ll be going right after.” 

Lia peeked at the whole setup of the show from the little she could see from where she was standing.

There's a huge dance floor with vibrant, colorful lights going around it. A huge disco ball hanging right in the middle, giving the feel of a huge ballroom. It’s fitting for the theme of the show, if she must say so herself. 

There are audiences surrounding the huge dance floor, four rows from each side, and another behind the dance coaches’ seat. 

Two of the coaches were already seated and she saw that two seats from the left of the stage are still vacated, meaning Monika and her will be sitting next to each other. Fucking hell—

“The next dance coach is a highly-renowned dance professor, and she’s been in the dance industry for almost fifteen years. The co-founder of PROWD DANCE COMPANY, please welcome, Monika!”

Lia felt Monika pass her by and watched her make her way up to the stage, where she stood at the center, and she smiled and waved at the audience. She looked like a goddamn beauty queen at a pageant, Lia thought. Then after a few more seconds of waving, she carefully made her way to her seat. Lia watched her, hypnotized, that she didn’t hear the few questions that were asked until the host wrapped it up and proceeded to introduce the final and last dance coach.

She was still in a trance even after the host called her name, when she felt the assistant gently tap her on the shoulder and told her that it was time to go up.

Putting on a confident smile, she quickly made her way to the stage, smiled and waved at the audience like how Monika did earlier. She kept her eyes solely on the audience and when she finally went her way down to her seat, she tried hard not to look at the person sitting beside her chair and just focused on walking and tried not to trip herself. When she sat in her chair, she tried hard not to directly look Monika’s way and just focused on looking at the stage.

She answered the few questions the host asked her, and made it as brief and direct to the point as possible. She was already looking forward to finally meeting the contestants and starting this show. 

After a few introductions and explanations from the host on how this show would go, they finally started calling out the contestants. The first contestant entered the stage. The dancer wasn’t impressive enough for her, so she didn’t bother trying to get her on her team. Monika probably thought the same as well as she didn’t try to get her on her team either.

Boa was the only one who wanted her though so the dancer automatically went to her team.

The next three contestants after that were a bore as well. She was already getting impatient as she waited for the contestants that stood out to her and who she really wanted when she researched about them beforehand, back when she first got the list of dancers that would be on the show from the casting director.

Two of them were already contacted by Lia since they were previous choreographers from her studio. They were highly skilled and talented dancers so she knew that it’s a must that she gets them on her team. Luckily for her, when she contacted them, they were also thinking of joining her team as well. That’s why she didn’t bother looking at the other contestants anymore since she already feels safe knowing that she’d at least get those two highly talented dancers on her team.

She didn’t notice that the fourth contestant already left and they were now about to introduce the fifth contestant. The host called her and told them that her name is Funky Y.

That made Lia perk up. She was one of the dancers that was on her “to-get list”. She was listed as Eunji Yeo on that list but she uses the name Funky Y as her dancer name. Finally , she thought.

Funky Y finally entered the stage and the way she walked was just pure confidence and Lia could already feel that she was an excellent dancer with the way she handled herself. She was able to catch Lia’s attention just by the way she went up to the stage.

She slightly tilted her head towards the direction of where Monika sat to see her reaction but her face seemed to be unreadable, and she didn’t show any signs of interest. That made her breath a sigh of relief at first. But the contestant hasn’t started dancing yet so she can’t rest just yet.

She remembered seeing this contestant on the list and she’s ashamed to admit that that was the first time she was hearing about her. She saw how she first started dancing around 2014. That was around the time when Lia was pretty busy doing choreographies for different K-pop artists and doing TV shows at that time so she wasn’t in touch with the underground dance scene anymore.

She tried to get in contact with her but she didn’t know how because she literally didn’t know anything about her and who her friends and connections are, so she couldn’t ask anyone she knows about her as well. And she didn’t want to ask a lot of people about it since it could raise some suspicions as to why she was looking for a random dancer as she wasn’t the type to go around asking people for a stranger’s contact details. She couldn’t even ask her staff to do it for her since the casting director strictly told her that no one but her can know that they leaked this information to Lia. So she gave up. She already got two sure dancers on her team anyway.  

The music started and she watched Funky Y dance to Sunmi’s Gashina, a popular song that Lia choreographed the dance to. She didn’t want to assume that the other woman picked that song because she wanted to appeal to Lia as well. She tried to keep her anticipation down and immediately tried to think of how she’s going to get her on her team later.

Funky Y’s performance focused on being highly feminine and sexy, which wasn’t a question since the song was best danced that way. She made a good choice on picking this song and this type of dance for this round as she seemed to really fit them so well. The way she moved was like a graceful cat, it doesn’t look provocative and she makes being sexy look classy and expensive. Every roll of her body, every thrust of her hips and the way she put a lot of very graceful floorwork on her routine got her hooked and wanting for more. Out of all the contestants, Lia believes that she fits the title of “Dancing Queen” the most, so she was desperate to get her on her team since she has a real high chance of winning. After the dance ended, she immediately stood up and clapped her hands while also discreetly looking at Monika's reaction. She was smiling and clapping and she also seemed to be impressed with the performance. The other two judges looked very interested as well.

Oh, this is going to be tough, Lia thought.

—————

Monika felt more than seen Lia straightening up after the fifth contestant entered. The dancer probably was that impressive to her former friend, when she was already interested even before she danced. She knows that Lia’s been bored for the first four contestants so the change in demeanor was pretty obvious to Monika. She was curious to know what Lia already saw in her. 

And she got her answer when Funky Y’s performance ended. She knew that her former friend liked dancers who have overflowing charisma and have graceful body movements. Also, the way she connects the music through her dance is something that left an impression on her as well. She’s a great dancer, but she’s not someone that she’s looking for.

But sensing how Lia obviously wanted her, she thought that it would be fun to mess with her former friend a bit and try to steal the dancer from her. She also knew that fighting for this dancer could be an opportunity to finally let the public know how determined and driven she could be and hopefully it would create a very interesting and entertaining scene that would make it into the show. She knew that her former friend would put up a great fight and she knew all too well how to match that energy and keep up with her. 

Moreover, she was already getting bored and it wouldn’t also be too bad if she ever gets picked. At least she’d get more options when it comes down to it.

Smirking, she pushed the button that signifies that they want the contestant on her team. She heard the inaudible frustrated groan from her right, as expected. She almost laughed at how predictable Lia is.

She also realized that all four of them pushed the button for the dancer. Lia would definitely need to work extra hard for this one. 

And she wasn’t disappointed as the older woman quickly took hold of the microphone and made her appeal.

“First of all, I would like to thank you for joining this show,” Lia waited for the applause to die down, “I admit, I wasn’t familiar with you and your work before but don’t worry, that’s entirely my ignorant self’s fault.” she charmingly laughed, “I’m just gonna be straightforward with you and say it. I want— no, need you on my team. You are someone that perfectly fits every single criteria that I was looking for and I would be devastated if you didn’t choose me as your dance coach.” She saw how the woman slightly pouted then charmingly smiled as she continued, “I can also give you more opportunities that any other coach sitting beside me right now can’t give you. That is, if you join my team. I believe that together, we can win this show.”

A roaring applause from the audience erupted, seemingly impressed with what the dance coach just said. The other two judges seemed to also admit defeat when they smiled and nodded their heads Lia's way and didn’t say anything else anymore.

Even the contestant was smiling widely and seemed to blush at Lia’s words. But Monika wouldn’t just let her be won over by the older woman. She’s not someone who will go down without a fight.

Holding the microphone, she waited for the noise to die down before she spoke.

“Don’t you think she’s being a little too intense?” Her words were supposed to take a hit on Lia, but she tried to pass it as a joke so that she wouldn’t be seen as someone who directly insults her co-dance coaches. 

“I can be intense, too, but I don't want to scare you off. Or if that’s something you like, then I can be that, too. I can be anything you want me to be if you pick me as your dance coach.” she smiled at the blonde contestant. 

“What I really liked about you is that you convey every emotion in your dance beautifully. It’s not something that everybody can do. Someone can be highly skilled and technical but they still fail to give the emotions, and the proper expressions needed for that performance. I can see that you’re someone who’s really passionate about dance and I have high respect for someone who takes their craft seriously. If you'd give me a chance, I would love to have you on my team. And I can promise you that I’d be the perfect person that could help you win this whole thing.”

And she wasn’t disappointed when Lia spoke again, unwilling to let her have the last words.

“If you join me, I can guarantee that you will not only win this competition, but I can help you succeed in this industry as well. If you want that, then you know which team to join.” Lia pointed to herself, cheekily telling the contestant that she was talking about herself.

Monika wouldn’t accept defeat just yet, and tried to make her appeal one last time.

“I may not be as known in the mainstream as the other coaches in this panel, but I have a wide range of experience and knowledge in the dancing scene, which you seemed to be widely interested in as you’ve been in numerous dance battles for the past few years. I can help you get the reputation and respect that I’ve already accumulated over the years.”

Monika noticed how the blonde dancer seemed giddy at the fact that two of the most highly acclaimed dancers in the industry are fighting over her. She kind of feels bad that the contestant has to make a difficult decision right on the spot. 

She can also feel Lia silently stewing in annoyance at having to have competition on something she truly wants. It's funny how competitive she could get, and how much of a sore loser she seems to be. The dancer hasn’t picked anyone yet, but she’s already crossing her arms and pouting like she already lost. She didn’t know that it was this fun to tease the older woman. She didn’t even care whether the contestant picks her or not, she only appealed to get on Lia’s nerves anyway. And to get more screen time on the show.

“Now Miss Funky Y, who would it be? I understand that it’s not going to be an easy decision, so feel free to take your time.” the host assured the contestant who seemed to be genuinely confused on who to choose. After a few minutes, the contestant spoke.

“I feel honored that the people I looked up to for most of my life are now in front of me, fighting over me to be on their team. It definitely wasn’t easy, but I've already chosen who I want to be my dance coach.”

“The team that I would like to be in is…”

Chapter Text

Eunji was seconds away from being called up to the stage and she felt like throwing up as nerves threatened to take over her whole body. She was more nervous than usual as the day that she would finally meet the one person who inspired her to pursue dancing finally came. The person who was the reason that got her to where she is right now.

Exhaling all anxious thoughts away, she shook her hands and legs and put on the confidence that she mastered to put on everytime she was in a dance battle.

As she got on the stage, everything fell away when her eyes landed on that person who has been her role model for so many years. Time seemed to stop as her eyes only saw her and her only. 

When she heard the music play, she only had one thought in mind. To blow everyone’s freaking mind, most especially, hers . 

And blow her mind she did.

Not only that, but every coach on the panel wanted her to be on their team. All those sleepless days practicing and preparing for this very day have finally paid off. And she was even more delighted when one of the two coaches who were passionately fighting over her, was the coach that she really wanted to impress the most. She was elated to know that the dance coach genuinely wanted her to be on her team.

She almost got swayed though and joined the other coach as she was also very promising and she felt that she could be someone that could be a big help to her career. 

Besides, she would still be able to impress her idol even if she’s not on the same team, right? 

The host gave her a few moments to really think about her answer.

With a decisive nod, she finally made up her mind and decided to trust her instincts.

“The team that I would like to be in is…”

She paused, asking herself if it was the right decision as her eyes moved between the two coaches that wanted her the most, then finally, as both coaches seemed to hold their breath, she put all of them out of their misery.

“Team Lia Kim.”

—————

Lia felt like she was on cloud nine after that one contestant who she truly wanted, picked her, so she wasn’t able to pay attention to the other contestants that followed. She already knew who the remaining dancers were and no one seemed to be interesting enough for her, and it did show through their performances. She really has a good eye on picking out the highly talented dancers as no one that made it into her list gave out impressive performances today.

They’re already on the tenth contestant, and there’ll be four other dancers after that. They already took two breaks a while ago but she’s already itching to rest her eyes again for a bit. She tried her best to keep in a yawn every time a contestant that wasn’t good enough was performing on stage. 

Her former teammates haven’t appeared yet though, as well as the other two dancers that were sure to join her team.

She doesn’t really need to pick other members after that if she was being honest, she’d like to push the button for Jihye and Jiyoung though, but as she’s already promised a spot to the other dancers that she’s contacted, she doesn’t feel comfortable kicking anyone out of the team if it gets to the point where she has to pick the final three members of her team. She may be a bit of a cheat, but she’s still a woman of her word. She promises that she won’t play dirty after that.

The tenth contestant was introduced and as she looked up, she was greeted with the sight of one of her former teammates, Jihye who now goes by Jihye in this show. 

She didn’t even try to hide looking at Monika right after their former teammate appeared as she immediately turned her head, only to find out that the younger woman was already looking at her. She had a soft, sad looking smile on her face and if she looked closely, there seemed to be longing in those eyes. Probably longing for a time where they were all happily dancing together, for a time where there wasn’t any pain and they’re just people that were bound together through their shared love of dancing.

They stared for a few moments, silently conveying words that they knew would be said if they could just freely speak to each other.

But as Lia still carried the pain of the past, she broke the contact and looked away. No, she won’t easily be swayed by those dark, sad but beautiful eyes. She closed her eyes, exhaled a breath and tried to compose herself together. Luckily, the host and the audience was still too engrossed with the short interview being done on stage to notice the moment that happened between her co-dance coach.

When the music was about to start, Jihye looked at both Lia and Monika, and bowed her head, finally acknowledging her former teammates.

It was uneventful after that, with only Monika pushing the button for her old friend.

Lia felt Jihye looking at her but she can’t seem to do the same, afraid of what she will see when she meets those eyes. She’s afraid to look at the possible hurt that she’d see in her former teammates eyes, hurt of not being chosen by her old teammate. She just hopes that the other woman doesn’t take it too personally and won’t think that it was because she didn’t see her as a great dancer. She hopes that Jihye knows that she has great respect for her, and she hopes she understands her decision. 

And just when she thinks that the world is done playing with her feelings, she gets hit again like she was just punched in the gut.

The dancer right after Jihye is none other than their other teammate, Jiyoung. Whoever arranged the order of the contestants definitely knew what they were doing. 

God, she’s so emotionally drained. 

—————

Monika wasn’t surprised when two of her former teammates appeared as contestants in the show. The dance scene was pretty small in the country so she already expected that she would meet some of them here as contestants. And she was right.

When Jihye first appeared, she was genuinely happy to see her friend again. She stayed in touch with most of them, occasionally seeing them in dance competitions and some of them even conducting classes in their studio. And Jihye was one of them. Even though they weren’t as close as before, she still considered her as one of her most precious and treasured friends.

She looked at Lia right as Jihye appeared, because despite everything, they all still shared a history together. Even though their crew ended the way it did, and she knows that it is mostly her fault, they were still able to create wonderful moments together. 

They shared a look that only the two of them could understand. 

This was the first time since that fight that they looked at each other eye to eye without a hint of malice or anger. So grabbing the opportunity of this moment, Monika tried to convey how much she not only missed their group, but she wanted to express how much she missed her best friend as well, all with that one shared look. She wanted to say something but right before she was able to, Lia broke the contact and turned away.

Monika tried to turn her attention back to Jihye and decided that she’d get her on her team, no matter how the performance would turn out. 

Then Jiyoung went right out after that, and she almost laughed at the coincidence. Or was it?

Both she and Bae Yoon Jung pushed the button for her. Compared to Jihye though, she and Jiyoung have never spoken to each other ever since the team disbanded when Lia left. But she still pushed the button regardless, as she wanted to support her former teammate. She also hoped that she’d get the opportunity to say how sorry she was for everything that happened to the team and how it ended because of her own actions.

In the end, Jiyoung chose Bae Yoon Jung, saying how she always wanted to work with her.

Monika already expected that the woman wouldn’t pick her, as she knew that her former teammate was more loyal to Lia, and she probably still held a grudge towards her. She couldn’t blame her though. That’s why she completely respected Jiyoung’s decision and just hoped for the best for her. She also thought that them being on different teams was probably for the better anyway. She’d hate it if it ever comes down to choosing between Jihye and her in the later rounds.

What surprised her about all this though, is how Lia didn’t push a single button for both of their former teammates. She could understand her not pushing for Jihye, but for Jiyoung? She knew that they’re the ones who got along so well among her team members before, and they were always the duo team whenever they needed them in battles. Is it because she completely wants to remove herself from a situation that could remind her of the past?

She wished nothing more in this moment than to just have a talk with her friend, about everything that happened, because God knows they both needed closure. But no matter how bad she wants that to happen, she knows that she has to respect what her former best friend wishes. Because what if she was the only one hung up over her friend and their past? What if Lia had already completely moved on from her and talking about the past would not be worth her time and energy anymore?

That thought hurt Monika more than she thought it would. Maybe this will be her forever punishment. To finally have your former best friend close, and yet, still so out of reach.

Chapter Text

After ten grueling hours of being in the studio and shooting for the first half of the audition round, Monika was finally back in her dressing room, and changing into her normal clothes. It was nice to be dolled up every once in a while but after spending the whole day in that uncomfortable dress, she wanted nothing but to just take it off and finally put on a nice comfy sweatshirt and some wide pants. She was almost done getting her things when someone knocked on the door and she heard the voice of their head producer asking if she could come in. She wondered if it was usual for their producer to check in on the cast after the very first day of shooting. How hands-on of them, Monika thought. She then opened the door and let the producer in.

She was puzzled as to why the producer had a grave look on her face, like she was about to deliver some bad news. Oh God, was Monika that bad? She actually thought that she did really well. She was able to give thoughtful feedback and she was honest and direct to the point with her criticisms, she was sure that her remarks were very entertaining for the show. Did she go overboard? She hoped not, and she hoped that Gabee was just tired and she was there to ask about her first day.

“Please sit down, I need to talk to you about something.”

Monika’s body went cold at the serious tone of their producer which was very unusual for her since the producer only ever talked to her in a lively manner. And she knew that nothing good comes after saying that. She knew that she was in trouble, but for what reason, is what Monika wanted to know. After they both sat down at the small couch beside the door, Gabee continued.

“Someone sent this to my email a few hours ago. They didn’t let me know who they were and the email address was not a big help either.” The producer showed the screen of her phone to Monika. 

And what she saw made her entire body freeze. No, it can’t be–

“Is this true? Is this really the reason why you guys broke up? If it is, then I'm afraid that I can’t let you go on with the show. We can’t risk scraping off the whole thing if we continue with you as part of the cast. You know how the public makes a really huge deal out of this type of issue. You can’t recover from this if this gets out to the public.”

She couldn’t utter a single word to defend herself right now. She was dumbfounded at how this is still happening to her. How the same picture that ruined her friendship with Lia is still being used to destroy her. She was so confused and so angry that someone could do that to her. Who would do such a despicable thing? Surely, it wasn’t who she thought it was. No, she probably wouldn’t stoop that low just to get her off the show.

But with her mind clouded with anger, she can’t help but think that the only person who could possibly do it was no other than the person who she first saw that picture from. The person who clearly hates her right now. Is she that determined to win this show that she’d get the person who can challenge her the most to be gone entirely? Did Lia change that drastically in those twelve years and she was now someone who would stop at nothing just to get what she wants, even if that meant stepping on another person’s toes?

What made her even more convinced that it was her former friend, was because of the message that came with the picture:

Do you know the reason why Monika and Lia’s team disbanded? It’s because of this. Thought you should know. :)

It was the picture of her in that club twelve years ago holding a small pack of drugs.

How did this person know that that was one of the biggest reasons why the team broke up and why Lia left in the first place? No one knew except for her and her other team members. And no one has that same exact picture except for Lia. She couldn’t think straight anymore but she thought that she should at least try to plead her case to the producer, because she couldn’t let her be fired from this show. Not when this is the only thing right now that could help save her studio.

“Please let me explain, I know how bad this looks but believe me, this is all just a huge misunderstanding. I have never in my entire life used drugs. A friend who I was with at that time offered them to me but I immediately returned it back. Someone was just able to take a photo without my consent right at that moment.” Now that she thinks about it, she wondered who actually took that photo and sent it to Lia back then? And is it the same person who sent that photo to the producer now? But who? Who would hold a grudge that long? She tried to rack her brain for people who she treated poorly before but came up with none. She wasn’t even someone who treats people that way.

The only one she could really think of right now, is Lia. She’s so angry right now that she wanted to march over to her dressing room right now and demand answers from her. But before that, she needed to make the producer believe her first.

“It doesn’t matter whether you used it or not. If this photo gets leaked to the public, the only thing they’ll focus on is you holding that thing. No amount of explanation can save you from this. I’m sorry but I don’t think we can let you stay in this show anymore.” Gabee stood up as she made that final decision. 

“No, please— nothing has been leaked yet! If the person who sent that really wanted the public to know, then they should’ve already done that by now. Why send it to you first? It’s obvious that that person just wanted me out of this job.” Monika was now standing up as well as she tried to reason with the producer. 

But alas, the producer still wasn’t convinced as she stood her ground.

“You do know that no one would actually care if they leaked this now, right? No offense, but you’re basically still a nobody to the general public. I mean, I have high respect for you as you’re still my senior when it comes to the dancing scene. But, if I were the one who’s planning to leak this? I’ll definitely post it when all attention is on us. And what would happen if this picture got released right after people became hooked with our show? We’ll be forced to go off air. We’ll have the option to cut every single scene you’re in but that would be impossible since you’re a permanent cast member. Not to mention the amount of backlash we’d get.” 

Monika just bowed her head in defeat, as the producer’s words made a lot of sense. If she were in the producer’s shoes, she would also do everything to protect her work and eliminate all possible threats to the success of her show. So she didn’t blame her for making this tough decision. 

“I understand. I’m sorry for all the trouble and the headache that this is about to give you. If you don’t mind, I’d like to be alone for a moment. I just need to process all this.” She was itching to get the producer out of there right now so she could go and get some answers from the person who she was suspicious of the most. “You can keep in contact with me later to discuss anything we need to discuss to finalize everything. Thank you, for giving this opportunity to me. I’m just disappointed that I won’t be able to show how deserving I am to be given a spot on your show.” 

Gabee just squeezed her shoulder apologetically. “I’m really sorry, Monika.” And with that, the producer walked to the door and left the room. Monika waited for a few minutes to make sure that she was already gone before she walked out the door as well and went to the closed door that was across from her. She knew that someone was still inside as she could see the lights seeping through from the space between the door and the floor. As much as she wanted to slam open the door and just march right in there, she held herself back just in case there were other people in the room with Lia. 

She knocked, a little hard and waited.

She heard a little rustling noise inside then a few seconds later, the door was being opened and she was being greeted by the confused look on Lia’s face. The other woman was already in a black shirt and matching sweatpants, almost ready to go home. Luckily for Monika, she just caught her right on time.

“Monika? What is it?”

“We need to talk.”

“What? I’m sorry but we have nothing to talk about right now.”

“Are you alone?”

There was a bit of reluctance before Lia answered, she seemed to be genuinely confused as to what was Monika deal was right now.

“Yes, I was just about to go out–“

Lia wasn’t able to continue as Monika suddenly barged in despite the older woman’s protests. She was just so mad right now that she didn’t even care about boundaries anymore. Just when she was just thinking about how it would be nice to finally have that closure, now it seems like they’re back to square one.

“Close the door. We need to talk.”

Lia, refusing to follow her order, just stood there unmoving, baffled at Monika’s behavior right now.

“Excuse me? This is my dressing room. You can’t just order me around.” 

Monika saw how Lia’s eyes widened in surprise when she stomped to the door impatiently and closed it herself. She didn’t have time for Lia’s stubborn ass.

“Was it you?”

They were now standing by the door, facing each other. She can clearly see the puzzled look on Lia’s face. 

“What the hell are you talking about?”

“Don’t give me that. You’re the only one who has that photo and the only one who can easily contact the producer of this show.”

“What photo? Can you please just tell me what you’re accusing me of? Stop wasting my time.”

Monika was so sure earlier that Lia was the one who did it, but now, looking at the genuine confusion on the older woman’s face made her doubt herself and question that notion. She sighed and finally let go of the anger that she was feeling earlier towards her former friend because she knows deep down that Lia wouldn’t do something like that, no matter how bad their relationship is right now. She just badly wanted to put that anger on a person and have someone to blame for how messed up everything is going on with her life at that moment. 

But when she let go of that anger, what was left was all the built up frustration and despair that she was keeping inside that she couldn’t help but let out a harsh sob. Oh God, she can’t be breaking down in front of Lia. They weren’t in a place right now that they could just do whatever they used to do back when they were on good terms.

She saw how that alarmed Lia and found her former friend suddenly at a loss on what to do. She put her hands over her face, trying to hide the harsh cries that were involuntarily coming out of her. It’s been over a decade but she still found Lia’s presence comfortable enough that she was able to be her vulnerable self again.

—————

They both just stood there, Lia patiently waiting for Monika’s cries to die down, and watching her with a concerned look on her face. To say that she was surprised and highly confused as to what just happened would be an understatement. From Monika angrily barging in her dressing room, demanding something from her that she had no clue what it was about to now uncontrollably sobbing in front of her. She wanted to reach out, her body wanting to move on its own accord, but remembered that they weren’t in the same place as before, and it would be too weird to offer comfort to the poor woman even though she badly wanted to. Damn these feelings. It was a rollercoaster of events and she still has no idea as to why her former friend was being like that.

She waited for a few minutes, then when she could finally see that Monika was getting slightly better and her cries weren’t as harsh as before, she asked again, but with a little gentleness in her tone, afraid of setting the other woman off again.

“Tell me what happened, please.” 

Monika slowly removed her hands from her face, but the younger woman still had her head down and was looking at the floor. She was probably a little embarrassed from that breakdown that the other woman is now refusing to meet her eyes.

“Someone sent that photo of me in that club to Gabee. The photo you showed me twelve years ago. I couldn’t tell her that that wasn’t me or that the photo was fake because that wouldn’t be true. So she fired me.” Monika sounded so resigned that she felt so bad for her former friend. But then she got caught up with what the other woman just said. It made sense as to why Monika was accusing her of being the one who told their producer. To the other woman’s point of view, she was the only one who has that photo since she’s the one who showed it to Monika before, and the only one who would have a motive to get her out of the show. Still, she felt slightly hurt that her former friend would just blindly accuse her of doing something that awful. 

The anger arising within her surprised her though, because it wasn’t anger towards her former friend, but anger towards the person who was doing it to the younger woman. If it was the same person who sent that photo to her, then they were clearly determined to take Monika down and ruin her life forever. That thought just made her so mad . She realized that her instincts to still protect the other woman were still there, no matter how hard she tried to hide it.

“I don’t want to leave, Lia. My studio… This show is my only hope.” She felt the hesitation in Monika's voice at that. Her studio? What does that have to do with this? 

“What do you mean?”

There was silence after that, Monika seemed to be reluctant on whether she should answer Lia or not. But after a few moments, the younger woman exhaled a huge breath and spoke.

“We’re struggling, Lia. Financially… and the studio… My dance academy is in danger of being taken away from me. And this show was supposed to fix those financial problems we’ve having right now. But since they’re firing me, I don’t know what to do anymore. I can’t lose the one thing that I worked so hard to build all those years. That studio is my life . Losing it will feel like dying.” Silent tears were falling again on the woman’s face. God, as much as she tried to not be too affected with Monika’s affairs, she can’t help but to feel for her as she was also in the same predicament where she thinks that this show was her only hope and the solution for the issue she’s currently having. Although their reasons are completely different, she can fully understand how important this opportunity is to the other woman as well.

“Sorry, I must look so fucking pathetic right now.” the other woman tried to laugh while wiping her tears away.

Lia was at a loss on what to say at that moment. She felt that no words were enough to make her former friend feel better right now. Even though it wasn’t her job to do that anymore, she still felt obligated to do so as the woman trusted her enough to be entirely honest with her.

“No, you do not. And just to clear things, I can assure you that it wasn’t me who did it.” She didn’t like how some people could be so vile to treat others the way Monika was being treated right now, so she was determined to get to the bottom of this. It was time she found out who sent that photo to her all those years ago.

“Yeah, I already knew that. I wanted to apologize about that, by the way. If you were still the friend that I knew all those years ago, I know you’re not the type of person who would do harm to other people. No matter how much you want to.” the other woman chuckled at that. She’s probably referring to their current rift.

“I wouldn’t do something like that, even to my worst enemy. And yes, I’m talking about you.” She winked at the other woman and tried to make light of their current situation, as she knew that the other woman needed that right now. She may not be totally ready to talk about everything or to completely make up with her, but she felt like this could be a great step into going in that direction. She knew that the other woman’s presence in her life was probably inevitable, so she thought that it was probably time to finally let go of all the hurt and pain she’s been feeling for more than a decade now.

It was ironic how that same photo that was one of the reasons that they fell out in the first place, would also be one of the reasons why she’s now opening her heart again into understanding and forgiving the other woman.

“Yeah, yeah. I know you’re too much of a goody two-shoes to play dirty like that.” Monika playfully rolled her eyes, “It just sucks for you though. I know you’d be bored without anyone to fight with on the show anymore.”

“Actually, I won’t be.” A pause, “Because you’re not going anywhere.”

Lia was determined to do anything in her power just so that the other woman wouldn’t be unjustly fired from this project. It was totally unfair and she just can’t stand by that. Especially now that she knew Monika’s reasons and motivations for wanting to be on the show. 

Plus, she was right. She’d be bored without anyone to fight and compete with. She hates losing, but she also hates not having to earn a victory without great competition and not working extra hard to get it.

The shock on Monika’s face was expected, and it was clear that she was about to ask what she just meant, when she continued, “I’ll make the producers take you back. This whole situation just doesn’t sit right with me. I won’t let the person who’s doing all this to you to win and get what they want.” She could already see the smile growing on the other woman’s face. She wanted to backtrack a bit though, she didn’t want the other woman to know that she’s doing this because she wanted to truly help and protect her. She’s not ready for that, yet. She’s still going to keep her at arm’s length until she’s sure that her heart is fully healed. “And don’t get me wrong, I’m doing this for the sake of the show. I hate to admit it, but you do put up a good fight and it makes for a high quality entertainment. I’d hate for it to flop if we didn’t have that anymore.”

“I, uh, I don’t know what to say right now.” Hope filled the other woman’s eyes at what Lia just declared. “Thank you. I don’t feel deserving of such help though, especially with how I just accused you earlier, and of course with… everything, that’s between us right now. I don’t know how I’ll ever make it up to you.”

“You can make it up to me by staying put and letting me handle this. And by going home right now. We still have an early shoot tomorrow.” Lia can already see the other woman’s eyes getting teary all over again. She knows that what just happened tonight changed the course of their relationship once again, and she doesn’t know whether to be happy about it or to be completely annoyed at how she’s about to let her feelings win again.

One step at a time, Lia. One step at a time.

Chapter Text

“Hyowon, I’m home. Are you still awake?” 

It was only past 10 PM when Monika arrived in the apartment that she shares with her best friend slash business partner, Hyowon. She knew that her best friend who always sleeps after midnight was still up so she went straight to the other woman’s room. She should’ve washed up and gotten ready to go to bed first with how exhausted she was but the need to tell Hyowon everything that happened today was stronger.

Today was probably the longest day of her entire existence and she wouldn’t even know where to start and how to tell Hyowon all the important stuff that happened earlier.

“Yes, I’m still up. How was your first day?” Hyowon was already in her pajamas and was lying down when she went into her room, but sat up when her friend saw her. Monika then took a seat at the foot of her bed.

“It was… eventful.” She didn’t know how to relay to her friend that she probably won’t be coming back to the shoot tomorrow. Before she got to that though, she told everything about how the filming went first and how she met Jihye and Jiyoung as contestants on the show. Hyowon asked more about that and she was happy when she told her friend that they got in. She talked more about what else happened during filming, and stalled for a little bit, knowing that the next part of her story was now about telling her what Gabee found out about her. And how she’s now out of a job. Gathering all the courage to break the bad news to her friend, she gave a loud sigh.

“Hyowon, I need to tell you something.”

“What? Did you have a fight with Lia again?”

“No, it’s not that.” Although she did have another confrontation again with the older woman, she was happy that it ended on a positive note. She might have to replay and analyze that interaction in her mind again later because that was definitely… interesting. She was still feeling over the moon when she thought about their first real interaction earlier that didn’t end up with them even more mad at each other. 

“Then what is it? C’mon, you’re actually making me nervous right now.” Her friend chuckled but when she sensed that the mood became a little serious, Hyowon just patiently waited for Monika to continue.

She already felt her eyes getting teary again as she struggled to get the words out. To see the disappointment in her friend’s eyes, or worse, to see the pitying look at having been fired on the first day on her new job, was something she’s not looking forward to.

“Today was actually my last day. The producer kicked me out.”

A loud gasp came out of her friend. 

“What? Are they crazy? Why would they do that? Is that even allowed?” She could see how Hyowon was having a hard time processing what she just said, and confusion was evident on her face. She was trying to make sense as to why that happened, so Monika finally told her the rest.

“Someone sent a picture of me from twelve years ago to Gabee. You know… that photo from the club…”

“Oh my god.”

“Yeah. I guess the past is coming back to bite me in the ass.” Monika laughed self-deprecatingly.

“But you’ve done nothing wrong! These kinds of things happen when you’re a bad person and trust me, you are not one.” Hyowon already had that concerned look on her face, she could already tell that she was feeling bad for Monika just by the way she looked at her. And she didn’t want that. Hyowon already had a lot on her plate that she didn’t want to add to that list of her friend’s worries, too. 

She just shrugged and didn’t say anything more. Well, what more can she say? She was fired and there was nothing she could do. She just wanted to apologize to her friend because now they’re at a loss as to how they’re going to save their studio. And it was all her fault. If she was just in the right mind that day, she wouldn’t have ditched the competition and not have gone to that club. Then she wouldn’t have that picture of hers taken. 

“I’m just sorry that it didn’t work out. I know how much you were looking forward to this show. And how it could save most of our problems with the studio.”

“I already told you before, it doesn’t matter whether you continue with this or not. Your well-being is more important to me.” 

Monika finally smiled at that as she felt touched at her friend’s words. She truly is the best friend a woman can ever have. That’s why she felt even more apologetic towards her because she failed to do this one thing that she promised herself she would do for her friend. She wanted to save their studio with her own efforts in return for all the things Hyowon had done for her in the past. 

“Thank you, hearing that made me feel a little better.” And she did feel better. Hyowon’s presence and words made her feel that it’s not the end of the world, and that they could still find another way to fix their problem. 

“I’m the best, aren’t I?” Her friend gave her a cheeky smile. “Now, scooch! Go wash up already and go to bed. I can’t believe you sat on my bed with your outside clothes! You’re disgusting, Monika Shin.” She was in a daze earlier and wanted nothing more than to talk to Hyowon as soon as she got home that she forgot to change out of her clothes first. But she knew that her friend was just joking and she actually didn’t mind. She just wanted to cheer her up even more and stick to what her friend does best: humor. 

And that’s why she’s grateful for her. She’s grateful for her unwavering support, her constant presence, and their friendship. 

She couldn’t ask for more.

—————

Monika woke up to the blaring sound of her alarm that morning. She forgot to turn her 5 AM alarm off last night as she was too exhausted to even do anything when she finally laid in her bed. The only thing she was able to do was stare at the ceiling and recount the long and tiring day she had that day. Especially that conversation she had with Lia, where the other woman promised to stop her from getting fired. She actually didn’t hold her breath at that since it was better to just accept the worst instead of hoping for good things to come. But the reason that the whole conversation still lingered in her mind was because of Lia's slight change in attitude towards her. Did she soften the other woman up when she unintentionally cried in front of her and honestly told her situation? She realized how the older woman’s tone after she broke down was noticeably gentler and she was able to understand her predicament patiently, and without judgment. She was glad to know that under that tough exterior that Lia’s probably cultivated all those years, still lies the kind woman that she knew all those years ago. 

She fell asleep that night with thoughts of her former friend and all those happy memories she shared with her from years back replaying in her mind.

With closed eyes, she reached for the phone that was on her bedside table and tried to silence the alarm. She took her phone with bleary eyes to check the time, but what she saw instead was the messages from their producer Gabee, on the top of her notifications displayed on her lockscreen. She saw that it was sent way after she fell asleep so she wasn’t able to see them immediately.

Quickly sitting up, she rubbed the sleep off her eyes and opened the message with baited breath. She reprimanded herself at how she hoped that it was good news, that Lia was able to convince the producer, when it could just be about them terminating her contract and saying goodbye to her for good.

Her eyes quickly scanned the message and what she read made her cover her mouth as a shocked squeal came out of her. She read the message again to see that her eyes weren’t playing tricks on her.

Hey, Monika. I’ve spoken to Lia tonight and she was able to clear the misunderstanding regarding that anonymous e-mail. She assured me that it wouldn’t be a problem anymore. So… I’m taking back what I just said earlier. You can still go on with the show. It’s a good thing that I haven’t discussed this with anyone yet except for both you and Lia so we could just proceed tomorrow as usual. So sorry for the hassle and hope to see you again tomorrow! xx

She wanted to know badly how Lia was able to convince the producer that she just took her back right there and then. Is she now that powerful that she could heavily influence the higher-ups' decisions? She didn’t want to ask anymore questions to the producer, though. She was just glad to be back again. Maybe she’d ask Lia about it later, she just hoped that she was in a good enough mood to tolerate her again today. She’d hate it if they'd just go back to scathing remarks now that Lia had already done her part and Monika wasn’t fired anymore.

After sending a quick thank you and that she’ll be there today to the producer, she got out of bed and got ready for another long shooting day. Hopefully, it wouldn’t end up as bad as it did yesterday.

It’s a good thing that she didn’t turn her alarm off that night though, or else she would’ve been late today and the producer might’ve reconsidered her decision. Gabee probably won’t, but now that Monika’s experienced how they could just easily boot people out of the show, she’s now going to work extra hard not to make mistakes again, no matter how big or small it is.

—————

Lia arrived at her dressing room the next morning much earlier than usual. She wasn’t able to get any sleep last night so she just gave up, got up and got ready to go to the broadcasting station. Even though she was exhausted from the lack of sleep, she can’t help but smile at the thought of how it went last night with Gabee.

After Monika left and went home last night, she stayed for a bit longer and went up to the producer’s office to talk about giving the younger woman another chance. She already came up with a quick plan right after her former friend left. She got an idea when Monika accused her of being the one who did it, and from that, she was able to formulate this idea. She quickly went to her phone and to her cloud storage to see if that photo from all those years ago was still saved over there. After a few minutes of scrolling and checking her photos from that year, she finally got what she was looking for. Okay, let’s do this, Lia thought and put her plan to action.

She knocked on Gabee’s door, and waited to be let in. After a few seconds, the door opened to the sight of their producer, who looked highly stressed than usual.

“That was quick. Are you coming to your friend’s rescue? I’m afraid you’re too late. I’ve already made up my mind.”

“Hear me out first, please.”

Gabee sighed loudly, rolled her eyes and finally opened the door wider to let Lia in.

“Please keep it short. I have to figure out everything for tomorrow’s shoot now that Monika is gone. I don’t have any time to spare.”

She almost lost faith and feared that she wouldn’t be able to persuade Gabee, as this was the first time that she’s seen the producer this snappish. But thinking about that moment in her dressing room where Monika broke down in front of her and how helpless she looked, she still pushed through and gave it a try, hoping that her plan would work.

“It was me. I was the one who sent that email.”

That stopped Gabee in her tracks. That seemed to finally catch the producer’s attention. The woman was in the middle of going back to her office chair but turned to face Lia immediately when she heard her confession.                        

“I’m not following. You mean you tried to get your friend fired? Wow, I didn’t know you had that in you.” The producer crossed her arms, and she appeared to be intrigued.

“Actually, she’s not my friend anymore. We had a falling out more than a decade ago and we’re not on good terms. I hated how I had to work with her again so I had to do something that could take her out of this show.” She tried to act like she was actually feeling infuriated towards her former friend. Well, she actually still felt that way but probably not as strong as before. It’s funny how it only took almost a week of Monika’s presence in her life for her heart to slowly open up again. 

“If you don’t believe me, this is the photo that was sent to you, isn’t it?” Lia took out her phone and showed the photo that she successfully found earlier. The photo that was anonymously sent to her as well twelve years ago. She’s really thankful that she’s someone who doesn’t organize her phone gallery so her photos and videos were rarely deleted. 

Lia continued, “I don’t have the email anymore since I logged out of it and deleted it as soon as I knew that you’ve already received it.”

“So let me get this straight, you wanted to get your friend, who’s not your friend anymore to be out of this show because you can’t stand her? But the photo is real, right?”

“Unfortunately. But lucky for you, I’m the only one who has a copy of this photo.” Lia hoped that the producer wouldn’t see right through her, and find out that she’s just bluffing. She knew that the photo getting leaked is still very much possible, but she just wanted to get Monika back on the show right now no matter what. “And I have no intention of getting this photo out there. Believe me, bad publicity on the show is bad publicity for me as well, since I’m still a part of it. I really just wanted to get Monika out of this show so I just sent it to you and no one else.”

Gabee appeared to be pondering and absorbing everything that Lia just confessed, and then she scrunched her forehead, confused. “And now you’ve succeeded. So why are you still telling me all of this? Shouldn’t you be glad you got away with it?” 

“Because I regretted it as soon as I sent you the email. Monika getting fired made it very real for me, and that snapped me out immediately. She, uh.. actually cried in front of me and begged me to let her stay.” Monika would probably kill her if she knew that she just told the producer about that and how she exaggerated it a little bit. She just hoped that the producer wouldn’t blab about this to anyone, especially to Monika. “That’s why I’m here confessing everything to you and asking you to take her back. And if this photo actually gets released and it wasn’t me, I promise that I’ll take full responsibility for it. We’ll just say that someone maliciously photoshopped it and I’ll testify and say that Monika never did anything like that. I’ll do everything in my power to cover this issue up if it ever comes down to it.” 

“Lia, you’re not untouchable. Are you sure you can handle this? And how will I know that you won’t go back on your word and realize that you wanted to punish your friend again?”

“You can’t. But I’ll give you this. I’ll quit this show, too, if you don’t take her back. And I’ll pay all necessary damages and penalties in case there will be any breaches in my contract. That’ll show how sorry I am for what I did.” She sure hoped as hell that Gabee would finally cave in and accept her proposition, because she didn’t really want to leave this show. 

But, if she were being honest, her reasons for wanting to be on the show seemed to pale in comparison to Monika’s. The other woman’s entire livelihood was about to be taken from her and this show was the only solution to her problems. Wherein Lia only wanted to be in it because she wanted to take back that fame that she thought she lost over the years. So, she wouldn’t mind if she really did leave, especially with what’s happening with Monika right now. It wouldn’t feel right for her to stay knowing that someone succeeded in ruining the younger woman’s life.

That genuine declaration seemed to finally convince the producer as she smiled and nodded her head, “Okay, I believe you. I don’t think you’re the type of person who could be so vindictive anyway. That’s why I was so surprised when you told me that it was you. I thought you were lying so I’d let Monika off the hook.”

Lia tried not to nervously gulp at that, knowing how true that assumption was. But she just confidently stood still, and tried not to let her glee show at how she succeeded in making the producer believe her words.

“You’re lucky that I haven’t told anyone else about this yet. Sure, I’ll take her back. At least this will save me a whole lot of headache from having to fix this whole damn mess.”

Lia couldn’t help the grin that took over her face as she expressed her gratitude to Gabee. She’ll worry about the real culprit later and in the meantime, she’ll celebrate this small win first.

Lia noted that Monika hadn't arrived yet, as she saw that the lights on her dressing room was still turned off. She wondered if the younger woman already knew that she’s not fired anymore. Even though she wanted to reach out to her last night, she held herself back as they’re still not at the stage where they could privately contact each other yet. It helped that she had no way of contacting her, too, as she'd already deleted Monika’s number years ago. And besides, she was sure that Gabee would have already informed Monika as soon as their talk ended last night since they would still proceed with their early shoot the next day.

She crashed on her soft and spacious couch, the one she bought with her own money as investment since she knew that she’d be taking a lot of naps in it. And she was right, as she’s about to take one right now. It’s still pretty early and her glam team isn’t there to get her ready yet so she thought that a power nap wouldn’t hurt. 

As she closed her eyes, thoughts of her former friend went through her mind and how she couldn’t help but be a little excited over seeing her again. She really needed to control her emotions before it got out of hand. She didn’t want to be like a fool in love again, where every waking moment was spent like she was a puppy following her owner around, begging to be loved. 

No, it’s going to be different this time. If Monika got the hint last night and realized that she’s starting to slowly open her mind again into forgiving her, then she’d better work extra hard for it. She’s not going to be the one who’ll always initiate something first, and she’s not going to be the one that’ll always run around after her. And while thinking of the past still makes her heart ache a bit, and Monika still makes Lia a little angry when she thinks about what the younger woman did before, she knew that it was time to start letting go of that pain. For her sake, at least.

—————

Monika arrived at the broadcasting station, a cup of two iced coffees in her hands. It’s a good thing that she could still remember how Lia likes her coffee, and hoped that the older woman’s tastes didn’t stray far from what she used to have before.

She was determined to do right by her former friend starting today. Despite still being on bad terms, the other woman did something for her that she’d forever be grateful for. Lia could’ve gone on and let Monika go but no. She could see how the protective best friend she once had was still in there, underneath the walls that Lia probably had put up all these years. The other woman made it her job to make sure that the person who tried to ruin her life wouldn’t get what they wanted. And because of that, Monika is now determined to do what she’s always wanted to do all those years ago when Lia left her. 

To ask for her forgiveness. 

She just hoped that Lia is finally ready to let her in again.

And she hoped that she’ll also let her in her dressing room, as she finally reached the older woman’s door and gently knocked. She knew that the other woman would already be there by now, always the one to be extra early in their assigned schedules, even back then. And she was right, as the door opened to the sleepy face of Lia, who seemed to be taking a nap inside. She felt a little bad when she woke her up and saw how tired the woman looked. 

“Hey, I’m sorry did I wake you up? I just wanted to give this to you.” Monika held up the Iced Americano that she got for Lia. “And, if you’re feeling up to it, can we talk for a bit? We still have enough time before they get us ready for the shoot anyway.” She sheepishly added, hoping that the other woman would agree.

“Okay, but make it quick.” Lia opened the door wider for her, and reached out her palm facing up, silently asking for her coffee that Monika said she’d give her. She chuckled at how badly the older woman needed that coffee right now as she slipped greedily on it. She mentally patted herself in the back for being right as the other woman’s preference didn’t change and Lia seemed to be enjoying the drink she gave her. 

“Please, sit down.” Lia finally gestured to the huge sofa by the wall. She seemed to have better perks in her contract as the furniture seemed to be much nicer than hers. 

“I just wanted to say thank you, for what you did, for getting me back, as promised. I owe you a lot.” Monika sat down and continued when she saw Lia sit at the arm of the couch, putting that wide distance between them. “If you don’t mind, may I ask how you did it? Just in case Gabee compares notes or something.” She quickly added.

“I just told her that it was me who did it, and that I regretted it and since I’m the only one who has that photo, I promised her that I have no intentions of leaking it in the future. Then I asked her to take you back.” Lia shrugged, as if it was not a big deal, as if she did not just totally lie to their producer just to keep her from getting fired. 

Monika didn’t know what to say to that. Why is Lia risking her reputation just for her? She didn’t deserve this kindness, especially with everything that she’s done to her former friend. 

That just made her even more determined to do everything right by the other woman and repent for what she did twelve years ago. 

“Thank you, so so much . I promise that I’ll do everything I can to repay this favor. If you’d let me, that is.” Monika slid an inch closer to where Lia was sitting, trying to convey all the sincerity in those words. 

She saw how Lia gave her a reluctant smile, as if trying to say that she agrees, and she’s finally letting her, but without actually saying it. But Monika knew that that smile not only indicates that she was agreeing to what she just said, but also, that she was finally, finally on the path to letting go of all of her past anger and hurt.  

Monika beamed and returned that smile back.

—————

Lia looked at her reflection after finally getting her hair and makeup done, and she was now in her outfit for the day. It was more revealing than usual today, but she was able to maintain the classiness that she was able to easily pull off. 

It was a two-piece outfit, with a cropped black one-shoulder top and a tight skirt but the slit running up to her upper thigh on one side of her leg. Her hair was curled and clipped elegantly to one side and her lips were painted red, completing the femme fatale look that her stylist was aiming for. She looked hot, if she must say so herself.

The assistant knocked on her door like they did yesterday, signaling that it was time to start the shoot. 

“They’re ready for you, guys.” the assistant said as Lia opened the door. 

“Okay, I’ll come out in a bit.” after putting her stuff on the small bag that she’ll bring to the filming site which she then handed to her team, she finally stepped out of her dressing room.

And as she went out, her eyes locked straight to the woman across from her and what she saw made her pause in her tracks again. The woman had her hair down this time, but it was curled to perfection. She was wearing an oversized denim jacket over a cropped sleeveless top, and a low-waisted short skirt. As if deja vu, they both just stood there taking each other’s outfits in, like how they did yesterday. But what made her more curious though, is the obvious hunger in Monika’s eyes. Hmm, interesting, Lia thought. She knew in herself that she was clearly checking Monika out and that she’s always found her attractive, but Lia didn’t know what the other woman was thinking. Before she delved more into that though, the younger woman finally spoke.

“Wow, you look… good.” She heard the amazement in Monika’s voice. Now that they’re capable of talking to each other without their claws on, it seemed like the other woman was finally comfortable enough to easily compliment Lia. 

“Thanks, you don’t look so bad yourself.” It probably wouldn’t hurt to compliment her back.

“Shall we go?” Monika pointed her hand to the direction of the stage. She nodded and proceeded to walk to where they’ll be filming. 

What was different from yesterday though was the fact that they are now walking side by side, instead of Lia walking in front of her, not even caring if Monika was following behind her. She tried to confidently walk and look straight to where she was going, but the other woman had other plans. She could see in the corner of her eye that Monika kept stealing glances her way, and how she kept looking at what Lia was wearing. She did feel underdressed compared to the other woman, but if wearing this outfit could make Monika look at her that way, then she wouldn’t have it any other way. 

Her heart was racing at the thought of their relationship changing, and not because they were on the path of finding closure and forgiveness, but because she could clearly see how there’s now an underlying attraction towards each other. Even though Lia spent most of their friendship being in love with Monika, she still didn’t entertain the idea of the other woman being slightly attracted to her before, and she’s accepted the fact that nothing more could happen between them. 

And isn’t that one of the reasons that Lia left in the first place? Because she couldn’t handle having these unreciprocated feelings for her friend anymore and she hated how she was slowly losing herself in the process. She wanted more from Monika but at the same time, she couldn’t ask that of her, afraid of ruining the friendship that they had before. 

But twelve years have already passed, and what they have right now feels so fresh and new that anything feels possible and anything could happen between them. 

She just hoped that it would turn out for the better this time, because she’s tired of getting her heart broken all over again. 

Chapter Text

“Hey, do you want some?” Monika reached out and offered Lia a small pack of healthy mixed nuts.

They were on their first break of the day, already having auditioned five contestants before that. She loved to eat a snack during their short break so she could keep her energy up as these things take a really long time to shoot, not to mention the amount of effort it takes to fully observe each performance and to make detailed and helpful feedback everytime. From those five contestants, one of them already went to her. Her name is Aiki and she loved how dynamic and powerful her performance was. It was also nice because three of the coaches, excluding Lia, wanted her so she knew that she was able to secure a great contestant. 

“Sure, why not. Thanks.” she smiled as Lia took the snack from her. Monika wanted to grin even wider at the fact that all of the things she offered to her were all accepted without hesitation. Her stock knowledge on what the other woman liked seemed to be much helpful as she realized that Lia hadn’t changed much.

Now that Monika was slightly turned towards the other woman as she handed her the snack, her eyes moved as if on their own accord to the incredibly smooth leg that she could very much see from her side. The slit was so high that it almost reached the other woman’s underwear. She almost went red as her mind immediately came up with the mental image of what type of underwear the woman was wearing underneath. Why the hell is she suddenly thinking about that? That’s her former best friend! She was like family to her back then and was the most important person to her besides her parents. Monika shook her head and quickly diverted her eyes as she was appalled at where her mind was going. She was already reprimanding herself earlier for the way she goggled at her, which was highly inappropriate no matter how stunning she found the other woman to be.

But her eyes seemed to have a life of their own as it went back to the older woman’s thigh again, and that’s when she realized how Lia looked uncomfortable in her seat, as she was trying to cover up the exposed leg with the remaining fabric on her skirt.

She moved to stand up and went to one of the staff to ask for a blanket. How they weren’t able to provide them in the first place, she didn’t know why.

She went back to her seat and saw how Lia was looking at her with a puzzled look on her face. Monika then handed the blanket to her.

“Here, for your…” Monika made a gesture to her own lap, hoping Lia would get what she meant.

“Oh, thank you. I thought I wouldn’t need it earlier because I didn’t like how it covered my outfit. But I’m actually getting kind of chilly now so this is perfect.” Lia opened the blanket and placed it on top of her lap.

Monika couldn’t help but to beam at that. She was happy that she was able to be of help again to her former friend. That’s three-points for Monika, she thought.

The blanket not only did a good job at keeping Lia comfortable and warm, but it did a good job at keeping her eyes away from temptation. A win-win situation for both her and the other woman.

The shoot resumed again after getting their makeup touched up and they were now ready to welcome the next round of contestants. 

A dancer called Leejung went up on stage and she saw how Lia leaned forward in her seat, with a small smile on her face. It was also the same exact reaction  when Funky Y, the contestant yesterday, appeared. How she could ever tell that someone was a good dancer even before they performed was beyond her.   

And Lia was right once again. As the dancer finished performing, she acknowledged that the contestant was one of the best dancers she’s ever seen in the show so far.

So naturally, she pushed the button for her. All of them, actually, including Lia. She realized that she’s about to compete with the other woman again, but compared to yesterday, she genuinely finds it exciting and fun to banter with her now, when yesterday she only wanted to make Lia mad and just wanted to get in her way.

Lia didn’t waste any time appealing to the contestant and took the mic to say her piece.

“Hi! You’re a guest instructor at my dance studio right?” Lia waited for the contestant to say yes. Oh, that’s why she was already showing interest earlier, Monika thought. “Our dance academy prides itself in only getting the best of the best and highly competent dance teachers. And it definitely showed in the performance you’ve just shown just now. If your time as a dance instructor in my dance studio suits you just fine, then you can also join me on this show and we’ll continue working well with each other.” Lia finally put down the mic at that, appearing to already be satisfied with what she said.

Monika wanted to counter her though, as she was also genuinely interested in getting the contestant as well. But not before poking a little fun at her former friend.

“Question. If I wanted to be an instructor in your studio, would LK Studios accept me?” Lia raised her eyebrow at that, slightly amused at the question. 

“That depends. If you show me your dancing skills right now, I’ll let you know.” That earned a lot of ooo’s from the audience, and one even dared to start a chant, calling out Monika’s name and asking her to dance.

She actually didn’t mind dancing, but she remembered that what she was wearing wasn’t entirely appropriate and she’s afraid that she won’t be able to fully show her skills. She didn’t want to embarrass herself in front of a live audience. And most especially, in front of Lia. So she just laughed and stood up and waved her hands at the audience, saying that she was just joking. She sat back in her seat and with a mischievous grin, she turned to the other woman.

“I can dance for you later, Miss Lia Kim.” Monika suggestively winked at her. She was fueled by the excitement in the room that she couldn’t help but let out her flirtatious self. All for the sake of an entertaining show, she tried to convince herself.

That earned her a smirk from the other woman. She was thankful that Lia was playing along with her, and she didn’t actually appear to be offended with her sudden playful behavior.

She tried to make an appeal after that and the other coaches made one as well, but in the end, the contestant still chose Lia. Maybe the contestant opted to not stray too far from her comfort zone, so she chose someone that she was already familiar with.

Well, it was a loss but there are still eight dancers left, and she was only looking for one dancer to complete her team. She hoped that there’s still someone who would fit what she was looking for.

—————

Lia’s team was almost complete as she’s only waiting for that other dancer that already promised to choose her and be on her team. She was glad that everything seemed to be going according to plan and everything was just going as expected. 

Except for that bit where Monika had actually… flirted with her? What was that about? She’s probably just doing it for the show and making their banter extra entertaining, but she actually almost blushed when Monika winked at her, and told her that she’d dance for her later.

Her traitorous mind came up with that image of her sitting on a chair, in her darkened dance studio where no one is around except for her and Monika, and the latter was dancing in front of her seductively, as if giving her a private show that was meant for her eyes and her eyes only. 

She had a hard time focusing after that though, because as hard as she tried, she couldn’t get that image out of her head. She was thankful that she didn’t have to put too much effort anymore since she already had a sure contestant who would join her team later on. 

The other dance coaches already had three contestants each on their team except for her and Monika, who still only have two contestants each. 

The next six contestants after that weren’t impressive as Monika didn’t even try to push for them. She could sense the frustration in the younger woman already as they’re now down to two contestants and she’ll be forced to take one of them, no matter how good or bad they are. She kind of felt bad for her since the other one was already sure to be on her team so Monika actually only had one option.

“The last two contestants should be good, or else we’re actually doomed.” She heard Monika speak to her in a low tone, while waiting for the next contestant to be called. “Wanna just play rock, paper, scissors on who gets who?” The other woman chuckled. Lia looked at her and knew that she was just joking, but if she didn’t actually know who the contestants were, she’d actually humor the other woman. She was already tired and she’s ready for the shoot to end and call it a day.

“Now where’s the fun in that? Don’t worry, I won’t go too hard on you. I’ll just push the button and ask them to be on my team and that’s that. We’ll just let the dancers decide who they want.” She thought of how unfair she was being, though. She knew that Monika wouldn't stand a chance if she also liked the dancer that was supposed to be on her team. She just hoped that that dancer would come in last and the next one would finally get the other woman’s interests. 

“Okay, I can’t promise that I’ll do the same though. If I want the contestant that bad, then I’ll show them just how bad I want them.” That sent a chill down Lia’s spine as Monika’s voice dropped and the younger woman looked at her from top to bottom. Then as if Monika remembered where they were and who she was talking to, she cleared her throat and just smiled at her, back to her usual self and went back to focus on the stage in front of her. 

She could feel how conflicted the younger woman seemed to be, as if flirting with her would make Lia take it the wrong way, so she’d backtrack like nothing had happened. Is she that dense that she couldn’t see the attraction she feels toward Monika for all these years? And that Lia would actually be okay if Monika felt attracted to her as well? She wanted to say all that to the younger woman, but all of these are just speculations and it would be embarrassing if that wasn’t actually the case. Or that maybe Lia was just projecting.    

She wanted to say something to her but lost her chance when the host finally introduced the next contestant. 

The host said that her name is Bada Lee, and that she’s a famous choreographer for many artists. That one actually surprised Lia, as she didn’t see her on the list of included contestants. Maybe they replaced one of them with her at the last minute. 

She knew who that contestant was, as Lia’s been following her work recently because of how popular she was right now. The woman was incredibly talented and had a lot of charisma so it wasn’t a shock that she quickly rose to fame.

She was conflicted as Bada would be a great addition to her team, but looking at Monika, she had no choice but to give the dancer to her, and to not try to push the button for her. 

And as expected, the contestant didn’t disappoint and she was able to give a very powerful and explosive performance. The audience’s cheers were incredibly loud as well as she obviously won them over. 

When it was time to push the button, Monika actually looked at her as if bracing herself to fight her on this. But the surprise on Monika’s face was comical when a few seconds had passed and she still hadn’t pushed the button.           

“Why are you not pushing the button? Are you seriously going to let her just go to me?” She almost laughed at how irritated Monika actually looked. Shouldn’t she be happy that she’d get someone on her team that was as good as that contestant without breaking a sweat?   

“Well, she’s good but she’s not what I’m looking for.” Lia just shrugged, hoping that that was enough explanation. 

“You have incredibly high standards, you know that right?” 

Yes, I do, Lia thought. She knew that Monika wasn’t talking about that but she couldn’t help but relate it to her standards in women as well. That’s why no one was able to capture her heart besides Monika, as she’s always found her to be one of the most incredible women she has ever encountered in her life, flaws and all that.

“Just take your win, Monika. She’s all yours.”

Chapter Text

Monika stood in front of her bed looking at every swimsuit she owned, displayed and lined up on top of her sheets. She even bought three new ones yesterday because she thought that none of her old ones would suit the pool party that she’d be going to.

After filming had ended last weekend, they were informed that all dance coaches and the contestants who passed the first round will be having a social event, which would be the pool party that’ll be happening this Thursday. It was said to be an activity for them to get to know their team and cast mates better, and with that, Monika was brimming with anticipation and her mind directly went to the fact that she’ll get to possibly hang out with her former friend in a more relaxed setting. 

The way she’s standing for over an hour by her bed trying to choose what she’d wear was totally not because of the fact that she’s trying to impress that certain former friend who she’s also the most excited to see at that party. 

That train of thought got cut off when she heard Hyowon gasp behind her when she entered her room. 

“Monika Shin! I’ve never seen this bed this messy before. Why are you overthinking this? Just pick this one, you’ve always looked good in this. Accentuates your assets and all that.” Her friend picked up the black one-piece that has a very deep V line that almost reached her belly button, and the back part was extremely exposed. Yes, she did like this one on her but she was worried that it would be a bit much for a pool party with colleagues, and if it’s appropriate for the show since some parts of the party will be filmed.

“I don’t know… isn’t it too revealing?”

“Woman, you’re gonna be in a room full of confident adults, I’m pretty sure some of them would even wear less than this.”

Her friend made a point, she almost forgot who’s going to be in this party and that no one would probably care what she wore. So she made up her mind and followed what her friend picked for her.

“Alright, I’ll go with this then.” With a nod, she took the swimsuit and put it in her bag for tomorrow. She’s already packed everything she’d need and with that final item in her bag, she finally closed it. She then exhaled a loud sigh at the mess she’s created on her bed. Monika heard her friend laugh at that.

“Don’t worry, I’ll help you clean up. We have to go in a few minutes to the academy anyway, so we need to hurry up.” 

“Good, I was about to leave this as it is but I’d probably go crazy at the thought of leaving my room in a mess.” 

“I know, that’s what I’m here for.”

Monika teased her friend and exaggeratedly put her hand on her chest, “What would I ever do without you, my Hyowon-ie?”

“Stop or I’ll let you clean up on your own.” Hyowon warned her as she squinted her eyes. Monika just laughed and she continued folding all the clothes that were scattered on her bed. They really need to speed this up or they’ll be late for their night class that day. 

—————

“Ma’am, we’re here.”

Lia’s driver gently woke her up as they finally arrived at the exclusive club resort where they’ll be having a pool party with the rest of the cast members of their show. 

To say that she was nervous at how things would go later would be an understatement. She’s never been into big gatherings and parties, as she always liked being a homebody, or just having an intimate dinner with a few close friends. Her social battery would probably die out in the first thirty minutes of this party.

After a few moments of mentally preparing herself, she finally opened the door of her car and stepped out. She walked up to the entrance of the resort where a staff greeted her and guided her to where her room will be. It wouldn’t be an overnight stay but they’ll still be here for most of the day so they rented out the rooms as well so they’ll have somewhere to comfortably rest in if ever the need arises. 

“The rooms are pretty limited so you’ll have to be sharing a room with one other person. You’ll be spending most of your time at the pool anyway as we’ve planned some activities for you guys.”

“I don’t mind sharing. May I know who I’ll be sharing the room with?”

“She’s already inside. You should knock before you open the door. It’s Miss Monika.” the staff stopped at one of the doors, handing her the keys, and signaling that they’ve arrived at her room.  “We’ll see you guys later!”

Lia just stood there unmoving, even though the staff had long left her to open the door on her own. It’s been almost a decade since she’s been fully alone with the other woman in a confined room. She almost wanted to run out right there and then and say “To hell with this pool party, I’m out.”

But fate seemed to decide for her as the door opened and Monika was standing on the other side, already dressed in her swimsuit and with a pair of very short denim shorts. She couldn’t take her eyes off of the amount of skin on display and she almost drooled at the sight, but immediately stopped herself because she was acting like a horny teenage boy. The massive effect the woman had on her was embarrassing to say the least. 

“I heard people at the door and wondered what was taking so long. Well, now I know why.” Monika gestured to her. “Sorry, they didn’t inform me who I’ll be sharing this room with. I can go if it makes you uncomfortable.” The other woman was about to turn away from her, probably to gather her things and ask to exchange rooms. She quickly snapped herself out of it.

“No! That’s not… necessary.” Lia almost cringed at how loudly she protested. She might’ve not been fully okay with the fact that she’s sharing a room with her former friend alone but that’s because she didn’t know how to act around her now that she could feel all this tension and attraction between them. 

Her excitement over sharing a room with the other woman was definitely greater though. And she’s definitely only admitting it to herself and herself only. 

“Okay, if you’re sure. Come in.” Lia finally stepped inside and she thankfully noted that there are two single beds in the room. They probably won’t be using it much since they’ll be out the whole day but it’s nice to know that in case she felt the need to nap or something, she didn’t have to worry about sharing it with the other woman. “They told us to get ready in an hour since they’ll be filming us entering the pool per team. You can change in the bathroom or if you want, I can step outside so you can comfortably change in here.” 

Lia almost melted at how much of a gentlewoman Monika was being right now. She noticed how much she’s been taking care of her recently, always giving her treats and paying extra attention to her. Was it because of what she did for her? Is she doing this out of duty? She’d hate it if that was the case. That light feeling she felt a few seconds ago was now tainted and now she’s highly irritated. 

“You know that you don’t have to be extra nice to me every minute of every day right? I know you want to repay the favor for what I did for you but this is all getting a bit too much. If you’re just doing this because you feel like you need to, then you can stop right now.”

She saw Monika stop in her tracks, surprised and gaping at her with her sudden outburst. 

“What? I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable, but I’m not just doing this to repay a favor.” She saw how Monika sighed before she continued, her voice becoming more serious and quieter, “I want to do right by you. I want to make up for all the shit I did all those years ago. I want to show you how sorry I am for what I did. I want… I want to start being your friend again.” Monika nervously smiled at her, hope shining in her eyes. Lia didn’t know what to say to that. She didn’t expect her to be entirely honest with her, and not to mention, she didn’t expect Monika to be talking about the past and what she did to her. It hasn’t been a minute of being alone in this room with the other woman and they’re already talking about the heavy stuff. Well, she guessed that they’ve danced around the subject for too long now that it’s already bound to come out sooner rather than later.

And if she was being honest, she was tired of holding on to all of these pain and she’s happy to admit that she’s now ready to let it all go. She was ready to let Monika be in her life again.

“Took you long enough.” was all Lia said, but as she smirked at the other woman, she saw that Monika’s smile widened even more, and happiness was evident on her face. 

They still have a lot of things to hash out and talk about to completely mend their relationship, but agreeing to becoming friends again and just the act of being nice to each other, is probably the best first step in fixing everything that was broken. 

And if this friendship turns into something more along the way, she’s totally not opposed to it either. 

—————

There was a weird (but good weird) feeling in the air when they sort of cleared some things about the status of their relationship and where they want to go from there. Monika still couldn’t believe that Lia finally agreed to let her be her friend again. That’s why she promised to herself that she won’t make the same mistakes as before, and she will do her best to treat her friend even better than before. And she liked to admit that taking care of the other woman gives her some satisfaction and that she wanted to continue to be that person who’d do that for her starting now, in exchange for how her friend took care of her when she was incapable of doing it herself before.

There’s only thirty minutes left until it’s time to finally go down to the actual venue of the party, and she was waiting for Lia to finish changing in the bathroom. Monika was doing last minute touch ups on her makeup, and straightened her hair a bit while she waited, as she suddenly became a little self conscious of how she looked right now. Even though Lia already saw her bare face earlier, she felt the need to look presentable in front of the other woman, because she’s sure as hell that Lia would come out of that bathroom as if there was a glam team inside the room with her. Her friend was a professional in this industry so she knew just how to make herself look extra nice for the cameras. 

And damn, she was right. She almost let out an audible gasp when Lia finally stepped out of the bathroom. Her silky black hair was straightened to perfection, she had a light makeup on that enhanced her natural glow, and when her eyes dropped to what the woman was wearing, her heart almost stopped. 

She had a black string bikini on, with only a very see through mesh cover up in the same color over it. 

Monika looked like a statue right now with how her hand that held the compact mirror in front of her face was stuck in its place and the other hand that was about to put lipstick on her lips was hovering in the air. She jumped when Lia cleared her throat very loudly.

“Are you okay? You seemed to be having a stroke.” Lia just raised her eyebrow at her. Her face flushed when she was definitely caught checking her supposed “friend” out. 

Why does she keep doing this to her friend? She wasn’t like this twelve years ago, hell, even if she was into women, she never thought of her friend like that, because she told herself that bestfriends are off limits, and she’d always stand by her word. 

She tried to rack her brain on when this undeniable attraction started, and her mind immediately went to that moment when they first saw each other again, and where they accidentally collided with each other in that hallway. She recalled how it was the first time that she felt that kind of tension with her friend, and how she felt the shift in energy between them. She could still remember how flustered she got after they stood face to face, mere inches away from each other. 

And she could see that her friend definitely took great care of herself for the past twelve years. Her body got even more toned, and her face structure became even more beautiful. And she had that youthful glow in her skin that made her look like she wasn’t already nearing her 40s. Maybe being a successful CEO and becoming a celebrity made her put great effort in her looks. Well, not that great of an effort probably, as her friend had always been naturally beautiful. 

This is probably an effect of years of not having any kind of sexual intimacy towards another person. It’s not that she’s against it, but being the traditional woman that she is, she really wanted to have that type of intimacy with someone that she truly loved. And she hadn’t had that in all those years, as her time was occupied with work and trying to run a dance academy. She never had the time to meet someone new. 

She really needed to put a cap on these foreign feelings that she’s having towards her friend. Everything is so fragile right now that one wrong move could ruin their entire relationship again. Monika didn’t want to start having feelings for Lia when they just agreed to become friends again. No, that would be highly inappropriate. And Lia probably has higher standards in women. Not to sell herself short, but the other woman would probably choose someone who’s as successful as her, and Monika feels like she’s not there yet. Plus, Lia probably got turned off when she knew the kind of situation she’s facing right now with her studio, and how pathetic she must’ve looked like to the other woman.

Maybe she really needs to start dating again, so she’d have someone to redirect all these feelings to. It would probably be unfair to that person but Lia being in her life as her friend again was more important than any person that she could possibly date in the future. 

And so with a chuckle, Monika tried not to pay attention to the pounding in her chest as she responded like how a friend should respond.

“I’m actually jealous of your body right now, how do you always look so good? You need to share those tips, be… b-bestie.” Monika almost facepalmed herself at how cheesy and forced that sounded. She couldn’t even act to save her fucking life. 

“Bestie? What are we, ten?” Lia looked at her weirdly at that. Monika truly wished that the earth would just swallow her whole right now. 

She was saved from further humiliation when someone knocked on the door. 

“I’ll get it!” Monika jumped out of her bed and went to open the door. She wanted to kiss the person behind the door right now and thank them for saving her from herself. 

“We’re about to start the party in five minutes. You can now proceed to the waiting area by the pool and start gathering with your team members. Someone will also assist you there before you start entering the actual venue.”

“Okay, we’re ready to go anyway. We’ll be there right now.”

“Great! Thank you and have a great time.” The staff member smiled and proceeded to go to the next room.

When Monika turned to tell Lia that it was time to go, she jumped as she almost collided into her again as she didn’t notice that the other woman walked up to the door and was standing closely behind her the whole time. 

Lia held her shoulders to steady her, “Why are you so jumpy? I didn’t know that you could be this nervous over a pool party.” Her friend now looked slightly concerned for her at her sudden weird behavior. Monika felt bad that she made the older woman worry.

“Yeah, well, considering that this is my first TV show in my entire career, I’m just nervous on how to have fun without the pressure of behaving and looking good in front of the cameras.” Monika didn’t like lying again to her friend, especially when she just promised that she wouldn’t do it to her anymore. But the truth isn’t much better either, how would she say that the reason for how jumpy she was, was because she was gay panicking over her friend? She probably would’ve gotten kicked out of the room and replaced with someone who won’t look at Lia that way. 

So, yes, lying was the most viable solution in this situation.

“Just be yourself and do what you want to do. If there’s anything that isn’t appropriate for television, the editing team would probably cut it anyway. Don’t worry too much about it.” 

Monika smiled at how her friend was quick to reassure her. She really did miss moments like this with the other woman, where they could just easily provide the support that the other person needs. She was thankful that she could have this again with Lia.

“Okay. I’m ready to go, you?”

Lia nodded and they both stepped out of the room and walked to where the party would take place together.

Monika might be having confusing feelings for her friend at this moment, but nothing could be greater than what she currently has with the other woman right now. 

Chapter Text

The thing about realizing that you have a crush on someone, is that no matter how hard you try to get them off your mind, they’ll still find a way to come running right back. The very thought of them gives you those mushy and giddy feelings and makes you feel like a kid all over again.

But what Monika also realized about having a crush is that it could also give you these irrational and immature thoughts. Such as getting irritated that they’re not spending their time with you, or being annoyed that they’re not talking to you that much. Or that you get a little jealous that they’re somehow having more fun with someone else. 

On one hand, her mind kept saying that she should stop having a crush on a person that’s supposed to be a friend and that she should be happy that Lia’s enjoying her time. But on the other hand, she couldn’t help but be bothered by the fact that they’ve never spent a single moment together ever since they went their separate ways earlier to go be with their team. 

It got a little hectic right after the teams entered the venue one by one, and the production team had them discuss the next mission for the next round to their team. After getting work out of the way, the staff members prepared a game for them to play. 

That was the only time that they ever interacted since they got to the pool, and it was when they played a jousting game and they were matched to compete against each other. They both sat on a long inflatable raft where they will joust with a pool noodle to get the other person off the raft. It was fun, even though Monika lost when Lia suddenly poked her with the pool noodle at her most ticklish spot that made her lose her balance entirely and she went down under the water. The unadulterated joy on her friend’s face was definitely worth the loss though, and she’d do it all over again if it meant getting to see Lia smile that happily. 

Her excitement died down soon after that as she saw how the other woman’s attention was solely focused on the contestants on her team, and how they all seemed to have great chemistry with each other, like they’ve already been working with each other for a long time. That was probably true since Leejung and Harimu, the two members from that team, are current dance instructors at Lia’s dance academy.

What was making her have these irrational thoughts though, was how the other contestant who should still be a stranger to Lia, was clinging on to her ever since they got to the venue. Funky Y, or Eunji, was it? Seemed determined to win her coach’s approval as she never saw her leave the other woman’s side. She already saw them standing together shoulder to shoulder by the griller cooking meat earlier, and how they were both snickering like they were already forming some inside jokes between them. And how they were sitting by the pool some moments ago, their feet dangling under the water and drinking their beer together side by side. The two seemed to have been hitting it off so well. Monika assured herself that that was the purpose of this social gathering, to interact and get to know their team better. And they were doing just that. So why was she feeling this way right now? She needs to get a grip on her emotions as this is all getting a little ridiculous. 

Monika’s mind was in a state of battle as she sat there fuming, looking at the scene before her. 

She watched how Lia was sitting on Eunji’s shoulders, as they’re playing their version of chicken fight among their team members. All she wanted to do was march in there, break them up and tell them to play another game. 

She almost did just that when Eunji’s hands went up to her friend’s ass to adjust her position and how those hands just slid from there to her friend’s thighs, and remained there. Lia was laughing the whole time and she even put her hand on the blonde woman’s hair and slightly played with it. It was a very intimate position as Lia only had her skimpy bikini bottom to separate her private part from the back of Eunji’s head. 

“Hey, are you okay? You look like you’re about to punch somebody in the face right now.” Monika snapped her head to the source of the voice that was now sitting beside her. It was Jihye, her former teammate who’s now under her team again. 

“Do I?” she chuckled but without mirth. “No, I’m just a bit tired, is all. I think I’m going to rest in my room for a while.” Monika couldn’t take watching the scene in front of her play out anymore, so she decided to escape and just stay in her room until it was time to go. She already lost her chance to spend time with Lia anyway, as she was busy hanging out and having fun with her own team members. Monika should also be doing that as well but as she looked around and saw that Aiki and Bada were having their own world at the corner of the pool and Jihye was relaxing and sipping her beer beside her, she figured that she’d just leave them to their own devices as they seemed to be doing fine by themselves. “You guys gonna be okay?” she still wanted to make sure before she goes. 

Jihye just nodded and smiled at her, telling her that she also didn’t mind enjoying her time alone.

—————

Lia didn’t know that it could be possible, but she had to admit that this party was turning out to be a lot more fun than she’d expected. It was nice that she’s surrounded by familiar people and people who seemed to genuinely like her company.

She was especially surprised by how she and Eunji were getting along so well, even though this is the first time that she got to really talk to her personally. The woman has such a bright and outgoing personality, but not the kind where your energy gets sucked in and drains you, but the kind where you just go with the flow and match that energy. She hasn’t even realized that she’s spent most of her time at this party just hanging out with her. 

That made her think of the one person who she thought that she’d see and talk to the most in this party, and how she’s nowhere to be found right now. Her eyes were roaming around the pool and the tents, trying to see if Monika was still there.

“Coach! Did you hear me?” Lia almost forgot that she was in the middle of a conversation with the blonde woman. She gave Eunji her attention again, and figured that she’ll find Monika later.

“I told you to call me Lia, Eunji.” Lia playfully rolled her eyes. 

“Well, you weren’t responding earlier when I was calling you by your name. I’ve already repeated my question like, three times.” Eunji sighed exaggeratingly. Lia felt light at how easy it was to joke around with the other woman, and how Eunji didn’t treat her as someone who she should be scared of considering her status and experience in the dance industry. It was rare to find someone who she can really just talk to without reservations these days. 

“Okay, I’m all ears. What is it?” Lia turned to Eunji, showing that she now has her full attention.

“I was just asking if you wanted to rest in your room for a bit? I’ve been talking your ear off since this morning so I’ve probably already tired you out.” 

“I’m actually good, surprisingly. You didn’t tire me out. I really do enjoy your company.” Lia smiled at her, losing the playfulness in her tone because she wanted to let the woman know how great she had been. “Or did I tire you out? It’s okay if you want to go back and take a break.”

“Actually, I do want to lay down for a bit. But I share a room with Leejung and Harimu and they told me that they were going to the room earlier. They’re probably already sleeping in there. The room only has one bed so I don’t have any space.”

Lia paused at that, and thought about offering her room to the other woman. Their room has two beds and the bed could easily fit in two people. She probably won’t lie down with Eunji as that would be a bit inappropriate, but she could just offer her bed while she sits on the couch that’s also provided in the room. Being the celebrity on the show really has some great perks as they got the nicer rooms. 

She remembered again how Monika was nowhere to be found in this party so she realized that she probably went up and was already resting in their shared room. Well, she hoped that Monika would be okay with it, since Eunji was just going to take a short nap. Besides, it would be nice to introduce the blonde woman to Monika as well. They probably would hit it off, too, since they’re both the type to make friends easily, remembering how it was Monika who always had more friends than her, being the outgoing person that she is. Lia thought that they won’t have a problem striking up a conversation. 

“If you want, you can rest in our room. We have two beds so you can just use mine.” Lia casually offered. 

“Are you sure? Wait— did you say ‘our’? Who are you sharing it with? Are they going to be okay with me barging into your space?” 

“It’s just Monika, don’t worry. We’re friends and she probably won’t mind.” They’re all in the dancing community anyway, that’s basically being relatives since the industry in this country is very small. So yes, Monika probably wouldn’t mind. 

—————

It’s been thirty minutes of Monika lying on the bed with a fluffy robe on, and trying to make sense of these sudden immature thoughts that were taking over her mind. It’s bad enough that she’s been having all these feelings for her friend. Now she’s acting like Lia’s not allowed to befriend and have fun with other people because it makes her… she hates to admit it, but yes, she’s jealous. 

She usually doesn’t get like this, as she’s never been insecure in a relationship and she’s not the type to get jealous over a partner’s close friend. But seeing Lia and Eunji having fun like that, and how she could see the chemistry between them, she can’t help but feel the way she does right now. Especially when all she wants is to be the person who Lia was spending her time with today. She just wanted to finally hang out with her again, even if they’re just hanging out as friends. 

A knock on the door disturbed that train of thoughts, and the sound of keys opening the door. Monika quickly sat up. 

Lia’s finally here.

And there she is, as the door finally opened and Lia peeked her head inside. She wondered why she didn’t just come in. 

“Hey, did I wake you up?” Lia sheepishly said. She probably felt bad that she somehow disturbed her nap.

“No, I wasn’t sleeping anyway. What’s up?” Monika smiled at her friend. All those immature feelings going away now that Lia is finally there and she’d be able to spend time with her. She also noted that they’ll be alone together again, after a few hours of being in a crowd. She’s totally not grinning at that thought. 

“Uh, we wanted to come in as quietly as possible just in case you were sleeping.” We ? “I hope you don’t mind. I brought a friend.” Lia finally opened the door wider to show that she was not alone. 

Monika’s smile immediately vanished from her face. 

Those irrational thoughts suddenly came back in full force, and even more intense than before. Why did she bring her here? They’d already spent most of the day together, do they like each other that much that they’re gonna go as far as going to the other person’s room? Are they going to—? No. That’ll be too inappropriate. But why would Lia bring her in their room, when Eunji has a room of her own? Is that why Lia checked inside first to see if she was there? To see if they could have the room to themselves? To do what ? 

She wanted to ask all these questions that were assailing her mind right at that moment, but nothing came out of her mouth. She was afraid that anything she could say would show her true feelings, and Lia would resent her for it. 

“Eunji just needs a place to lay down for a bit. Their room is pretty overcrowded and she has nowhere to rest, so I offered her my bed.” Lia and Eunji stepped inside the room. The latter gave her a cheery smile and waved at her. What is she so happy about? 

“I hope that’s the only thing you offered.” Monika muttered under her breath. Well, she was feeling very irritated right now, so she wasn’t able to control the words that came out of her. She just hoped that it didn’t reach the ears of the people who were in the room with her. 

“What? I heard that.” Oh, shit. 

Her friend stood there looking confused and her eyebrows were furrowed. Lia looked a little offended at what Monika was insinuating and she could see the anger slowly building up within her. Oh, this is going to be bad. Why did she have to open her damn mouth? 

Eunji’s smile also dimmed and she looked at them questioningly, no doubt that she didn’t hear what Monika just said, because she only looked confused, and not as angry as the woman beside her. Lia then turned to Eunji, “I’m sorry, I know you’re probably tired and I know I promised that you can use my bed, but could you give us a moment? And tell Leejung and Harimu to come down to the pool, we’re going to need some representatives for our team in there. I’m really sorry again for not keeping my word.”

“It’s okay, I understand. I realized that I shouldn’t have agreed anyway even though you insisted.” Then Eunji turned to her, “I’m sorry for overstepping my boundaries and making you feel uncomfortable in any way. It won’t happen again.” She had the audacity to smile at her. Monica forced a smile back to acknowledge the woman’s words but said nothing more. Lia is already angry as it is, she didn’t want to add to that just in case her stupid mouth becomes uncontrollable again. 

“I’ll see you later, Eunji.” She saw how Lia squeezed the blonde woman’s arm then gave her a gentle smile. Eunji returned that smile, then after a few seconds, she turned to her and slightly bowed her head. Finally, she moved towards the door and stepped outside. 

After Lia made sure that Eunji was long gone, she closed the door with a little more force than usual. Monika knew that she’s probably dead meat. She was about to say something when Lia beat her to it.

“What was that about?” Lia wasn’t shouting, but the underlying anger in the normal tone of her voice sounded even scarier. 

“Nothing. I’m just worried about you.” 

“Please, pray, tell, what you are so worried about.” Lia’s voice was gradually getting louder now. She wanted to de-escalate the situation before it got worse, but she also needed to vent a little because she was about to explode with all these overwhelming thoughts.

“Just… be careful around these contestants. Did you forget that this is still a competition, and their survival in this show wholly depends on you?” 

“So what you’re saying is—“

“Yes, she’s probably just using you. She’s kissing up to you like a student wanting to become the teacher’s pet.” 

“You’re unbelievable.” Monika paused at that. Apparently, that just made her angrier. But why? She’s probably telling the truth. Who would suddenly be all nice and act like they’ve been friends since forever to their superior when they were basically strangers before this day? 

But Monika knew deep down that what she’s doing is gaslighting, and she’s trying to justify this feeling when it’s just as simple as her being jealous of that woman because she took all of her friend’s attention today. 

“What? You know I’m right.” Monika couldn’t seem to stop, though.

“You’re insinuating that someone could only be friendly to me because they have a hidden motive. Is my personality so undesirable that you think that I’m not capable of being liked by someone? Do you really think it’s impossible that someone just wants to intentionally hang out with me because they enjoy my company?” 

Oh.

“You’re taking this too far. That’s not what I meant at all.” Monika tried to rectify her friend’s assumption before it got out of hand.

“Really? Because that’s what I’m getting from all this.” 

“I just don’t want you to get hurt.”

“I’m not a child! I can handle myself. I don’t need your concern. I’ve been doing just fine for the past twelve years without someone meddling in my affairs.” Lia was shouting now, her breathing heavy. That one slightly hurt.

“Well, I’m here now. And as your friend, it’s my job to let you know when someone is taking advantage of you.” 

Lia paused. There was a slight change in her eyes that Monika noticed. And now she just looked more sad than angry. “You know, if I’d known that you’d be acting like this, maybe it’s best to rethink this whole friendship thing.”

Fuck, Monika really fumbled this one. Just when they decided to finally be friends again, and now she’d already messed up on the first day. Is she trying to beat some record or something? 

“I’m sorry. I was just trying to help.” Regret was seeping through her voice as Monika tried to reason with her. She didn’t want to lose her friend again. 

“Yeah, well, you actually just made things worse.”

The urge to cry at those words was so strong, that she bit her lower lip to keep the tears from falling. She didn’t want to appear even more pathetic to the other woman. 

“I–”

“I’ll be heading out. Please just… leave me alone. For now.” Lia looked at her, deep sadness in her eyes. Monika realized that this hurt her even more than she thought. It really wasn’t her intention to make the other woman feel like there's something wrong with her. Of course people would love to just be in her space, to befriend her for who she is. God knows that’s all she wanted to do all day. 

She blamed these stupid feelings and how it was the reason that she was acting this way. Her friend didn’t deserve this kind of behavior from her, especially when their relationship is like a brittle object right now, one wrong move and it could all shatter and break into tiny pieces. 

Monika hoped that Lia wouldn’t actually change her mind. She did say “for now”, right? That gave her hope that it wasn’t the end yet. 

She really needed to figure out how to find a way to be Lia’s friend, while simultaneously navigating these confusing feelings without getting in the way of rekindling their friendship.

And she hoped she could figure it out fast. 

Chapter Text

The sound of a phone ringing surrounded Lia’s office as she was practicing her choreography that she’d teach later for her evening class. She was in the middle of memorizing the dance and getting the movements right when she got interrupted by someone calling on her phone. Lia rolled her eyes as it was no doubt the person who’d been texting her nonstop for the past week and who’d been calling her almost every single day. 

It’s been a week since that pool party, a week since that fight and since she last spoke to the other woman. She almost wanted to laugh at how they had a fight on the very same day that they decided to finally be on good terms and to try being friends again. Well, she blamed Monika for ruining it once again. Why was her first reaction to her finally making new friends, was to say that the other person was just using her and that they only have malicious intentions towards her? Monika’s sudden protectiveness was out of line, and it just did more harm than good. No matter how much she justified her behavior, her actions hurt Lia, even if it wasn’t Monika’s intention. 

And Lia’s not dumb. She’d know if someone was being genuine or not, and whether someone is just taking advantage of her. Besides, just because they’re friends with them, doesn’t mean she’d automatically let them win. It doesn’t matter who she becomes close with or not, it still wouldn't influence her decision in picking the most talented and the one who’d give the best performance out of all of them. She’s not one to play favorites, as she’s always been a professional when it comes to being a judge on competitions.

Having had enough, Lia marched to her desk to get her phone and to answer Monika’s call. She’d already given her the silent treatment for a whole week now, maybe it’s time to give her a chance to explain herself again. 

“What?” Lia coldly answered.

“Oh! I didn’t think you’d answer.” She did call with the purpose of getting Lia to answer right? Was Monika just ringing her phone just because she can? She almost cursed their producer for giving her number to the other woman.

“What is it? I’m busy right now.”

“Uh, I was just wondering if we can meet up and talk? I know you’re still probably angry right now but I just really wanted to clear some things up. I didn’t like how we left things last week.” She heard Monika rush in to say in almost one breath.

Lia took a second and thought about it, and after a moment, she found that she was finally ready to talk to Monika again. Truth be told, she didn’t like that they were fighting and how bothered that made her feel. 

“You can drop by my studio anytime. I’m here everyday.” She finally conceded.

“Great! I’ll see you then. Thank you for, uh, taking my call.” Lia heard the relief in Monika’s voice. She felt slightly bad that she avoided her for days, but what could she do? She needed Monika to know that what she did wasn’t okay.

“Sure.” 

Lia would deny it if someone asked, but she also kind of missed the other woman, and excitement filled her at the thought of seeing her again. She just hoped that their talk would finally lead to something good, and the air could finally be cleared. 

But first, she needed to focus on tonight’s class and finalize this choreography.

——————

As Monika hung up the phone, she almost jumped up in her seat in joy. She was glad that Lia finally got back to her after a week of non-stop texting and calling. She knew that the other woman probably needed the space, but when she thought of how things went before, how she didn’t try hard enough to get Lia’s forgiveness and she just let her be for more than a decade, she was determined to make her friend know that she’s not giving up on her that easily anymore. She tried not to be too annoying and cross some boundaries, though. She just sent a text or two everyday, asking how she was and if they could talk, then tried calling her once a day. If she didn’t get any response, she wouldn’t push and would just try again the next day. 

That’s what she did basically every single day until now, when Lia unexpectedly answered her call for the day. She was just sitting on her desk at her office, and was doing some administrative work when she decided to hit Lia up and called her. Hyowon, who was sitting behind her, let out a loud sigh at that, as she let her know how she disapproved of Monika’s actions.

“Just let her be for now, Monika. She told you to leave her alone. And you’re here doing the complete opposite of what she just told you.” 

“I know… I just… This is how I lost her before. By giving her space. And it’s just a few harmless texts and some missed calls. At least I’m not showing up in her dance studio.” Monika’s voice got a little quieter and hesitant at that last sentence. She’d be lying if she said that that idea didn’t cross her mind. 

Hyowon just shook her head, disappointed. Her friend still wasn’t convinced but didn’t say anything more. 

She saw Hyowon turn to her in surprise when her friend realized that Lia finally accepted the call. She saw her business partner from the corner of her eye looking at her the entire time the call was happening. When she hung up, she expected her friend to turn her chair so they were face to face and demand that she tell her what Lia said right there and then, but instead, she just hummed then turned back to her own desk. She probably got the gist from Monika’s answers anyway, that's why she didn’t ask to elaborate even more. 

Well, she couldn’t be bothered to think about her friend’s unusual reaction right now because she needed to figure out the right time to go and visit Lia in her dance studio.

If she was being honest though, she got a little nervous at the thought of going there. It wasn’t because she’s afraid of how she’s going to convince Lia to give her a chance (although that goes without saying), but because it was going to be the very first time that she’s going to step foot in her friend’s dance academy. She had mixed feelings about it, as it served as a reminder of how badly things turned for them. Monika still thought of that time where they talked about building a dance studio together, and the fact that it never happened still made her heart ache. Don’t get her wrong, she loved what she and Hyowon built for themselves and she treasured that studio like it was her baby, but the ‘what could’ve been’s still haunted her every time she thought of the past. 

But what’s done is done and what she needs to do right now is get on her friend’s good side again. 

With a mischievous smile, she pulled up a tab on her computer monitor and looked at Lia’s studio’s website to check on something. Lia said that she was there everyday, and that meant that she was probably holding classes regularly. 

She saw that her friend has a class in three hours, and luckily for her, the class wasn’t full yet. People can still purchase a slot. Without overthinking it, she went ahead and clicked the ‘book’ button. 

That was probably the best and worst impulsive decision she had made for the entire day. 

——————

Lia entered the room where around fifty students were already waiting for her. Tonight’s class was a master class where the choreography would require an advanced knowledge on popping. This kind of class was one of Lia’s favorites, as she gets to meet a lot of highly skilled and professional dancers as students, and their performances leave her in awe every time. 

She quickly scanned the faces of each and every one of the students that attended, most of them in their early twenties to mid thirties and looked to be experienced dancers as well. They were already doing their own warmups and stretches when she came in.

The students quickly stopped what they were doing when Lia fully entered the room and she stood front and center to address her students. 

“Good evening! How is everybody?” Lia waited for the series of answers from the dancers then continued. “Today’s class will focus mainly on popping, so I hope everyone is prepared for it. We’re gonna pop ‘til we drop!” She knew it was a weak joke, and it made her feel like a boomer, but her students still chuckled nonetheless. Probably out of respect for her, she thought.

The class started with the usual ten-minute warmup to prepare them for the actual choreography that Lia would teach later. Even though most of them had already done it before she entered, it was still the standard in all dance classes.

“And inhale, exhale. Okay, now that we got that out of the way, let’s proceed with the class, shall we?”

It took almost thirty minutes for Lia to teach the whole one-minute choreography. She went to explain some of the moves in great detail, and she gave a lot of advice and new techniques that they could try. Overall, the students appeared to have a lot of fun and were fully satisfied with how the class turned out. Lia liked everyone’s energy and everyone was attentive and was able to follow her steps well. 

After everyone memorized the whole dance, it was now time to film the students that wanted to showcase the choreography that they just learned. As it usually goes, they’d film the instructor who choreographed the dance first, then they’d ask some of the dancers who were confident enough to be filmed and would be able to dance in front of the camera.

Lia danced first, and she liked how all of the students cheered and hyped her every move. She had a huge smile on her face the whole time she was dancing. She really did like moments like this where she could just be able to impart her knowledge and experience to the new generation, and how she could make an impact on their lives. Sure, she did like her celebrity status every now and then, but it was ironic that she realized that fame isn’t all that during a time when she’s currently a regular cast member of a high-budget TV show. Maybe what happened with Monika, and how the other woman only joined this show so she can save her dance studio, put a lot of things into perspective for her. She was ashamed to admit that her reasons to be on the show were a bit narcissistic and a little superficial. Now, she appreciated what she has right now, and she realized that if she were to spend the rest of her life being a dance teacher and running her dance academy only, she’d still be happy and content.

As soon as she finished filming her part, she then turned to the students and asked for volunteers. 

Sometimes, a highly enthusiastic student would volunteer right away, so Lia didn't find it unusual when there was one today. It was a woman, standing at the far back wearing a huge jacket and a beanie over her head and a scarf mask that covered most of her face, who exclaimed “Me!” while raising her arm. If Lia didn’t know any better, she’d say that she was some sort of celebrity whose identity wanted to be concealed. She used to have those kinds of students before. 

“Someone’s eager. I like that.” She chuckled at the overexcited student. 

But that laughter died down when the woman got close and their eyes finally met. Her mouth hung open in surprise as she figured out who this “student” was.

Lia calmly walked over to her, so as to not raise suspicions from the other students, and pulled her slightly away from ears that might hear what she was about to say to the other woman.

“So, you know how this works right?” Lia said a little louder, so others would think that she’s just talking to the woman about the filming process. Then as she turned away from them, she immediately said in a hushed tone, “What do you think you’re doing?!”

“What does it look like? I’m trying to learn dance from you.” Monika innocently said. “I must say, I should attend your class more often, you’re a great teacher.” She heard the amused tone in her friend’s voice. 

Well, she did say earlier that Monika could visit her anytime in her studio. She didn’t know that the younger woman would actually do it a few hours after that conversation nor did she anticipate that she’d attend her class. She was almost impressed at the amount of dedication Monika was showing right now just to finally get in touch with her in person.

“You’re crazy, you know that right?” Lia rolled her eyes and huffed, seeming to accept defeat. 

“Go crazy or go home, I guess? Or however they say it.” Lia realized that she still had her hand on the other woman’s forearm and they were standing with little to no space from each other, so she quickly released her grasp and stepped back, hoping that her heart wasn’t doing that pitter-patter thing again whenever she gets flustered. 

“Besides, this is me keeping my promise as well.” Monika continued.

Lia was lost, “What promise?”

“That I was going to dance for you later.” Monika winked at her, referencing what she said during that second day of filming for the first round of the show. That moment when Lia’s mind went to a very inappropriate place when she first heard her friend say that.

If her heart wasn’t already doing somersaults before, then it’s definitely doing it now. But she won’t let Monika know that it affected her that much, so raising her chin up, she matched her friend’s mischievousness and stepped a little closer. She smirked when she saw how Monika's eyes flinched as she got into her space. 

“Okay. Then dance for me.” Lia whispered, a little seductively, and stepped back with a challenging smile on her face. Her eyes were trained on the other woman as she walked a few steps back. 

“Let’s film her alone first, then we’ll have three groups for the next one. You can go to this side if you’re interested.” She pointed to the right side of the room by the sound system.

She saw Monika jump a few times and stretch her arms, seeming to warm herself up before she started dancing. 

And then everything fell into the background as the music started and Lia only saw Monika and Monika only. She saw how the other woman transformed into an entirely different person. Her face was fully covered but she can still see how those eyes changed as if she was about to devour someone and how her body immediately fell into the beat. Lia’s breathing gradually became faster as the music went by and she just stood there watching Monika in a trance, unmoving. She hadn’t seen the younger woman dance like this since forever, where she was giving it her all and she was in her element. She noticed how her movements became even more refined and controlled, a feat that can be achieved by years of experience and training. 

A feeling that threatened to overwhelm her senses suddenly came over her, as she thought about how her friend almost gave up on dancing more than a decade ago, and now, she’s here, still staying on her chosen path and her love for dancing only seemed to grow. She was happy that her friend was able to persevere, because she didn’t know if they’d have a chance to mend things if they didn’t meet again years later through dance. 

But thinking about how Monika went through all of that without her, made her a little sad. Don’t get her wrong, she would still stand by her decision if she was given a chance to go back in time, but a part of her made her a little guilty at the fact that she left her at a time when Monika needed someone by her side the most. And during that time, that someone was Lia. 

It consoled her that Monika still turned out okay, and that she was now here in front of her, doing what she loved the most.

A fond smile stayed on her face until the music finished, and Monika was doing her own take on the fading beats of the music. She heard how the dancers erupted into cheers all throughout her performance, as they were raving about how incredibly good she was. They didn’t know that they were just blessed by a rare performance by a highly-renowned dancer. She almost giggled at the thought. Oh, if they only knew.

Monika walked over to her, her eyebrow raised as if she was asking her what she thought of her performance. Lia had a teasing smile on and just hummed approvingly, and didn’t offer anything more. 

“Let’s talk in my office later.” Was the only thing she said to her when Monika finally got close enough to hear her quiet voice. 

——————

“Nice space.” 

Monika followed Lia inside her huge office and she couldn’t help but let her eyes roam around the room. She already removed the scarf mask from earlier as they were now alone in Lia’s office and she didn’t find the need to hide from possible onlookers anymore. It would definitely be weird if someone found out that another owner of a dance academy was suddenly attending a dance class from another studio. 

The mixed emotions that she was feeling when she first stepped foot in the building, something that she didn’t think that she’d ever do in her entire life, eventually fell away soon after the dance class with Lia started. She watched, captivated, how Lia commanded a class and how easy it was to learn from her. She could see how much she loved conducting these classes as she had a genuine smile on her face the entire time. 

That’s why her treacherous feelings that she didn’t really want to acknowledge yet, made itself known again as she stared at her friend. 

Now that they were alone though, she tried to reign these feelings in and tried to appear as nonchalant as possible, and not let her friend know that she was about to explode with all the nerves bubbling inside.

“Please, take a seat.” 

This felt a lot like she was being summoned to the principal’s office for bad conduct, as Lia sat at the office chair behind her desk, and Monika took the seat that was placed on the other side. She tried to set aside the feeling of how weird this all is, and remembered what she came here for in the first place. To talk to Lia and explain her side. 

Monika took a breath, and tried to recall what she had planned to tell Lia before she came here. She was going to tell the half-truth version of her story.

“First of all, I would like to apologize for the way I acted on that day. I really didn’t mean to offend you or insult you in any way. While it’s true that I really got worried about you, that wasn’t the only reason for my behavior.” Monika exhaled again, and her eyes were focused on a spot on the desk in front of her, refusing to make eye contact with Lia. She hoped that her friend would finally believe her next explanation. 

“I was jealous.” She tried to chance a look at the older woman’s reaction, and she saw that Lia’s eyes widened a bit, but her face still remained impassive. “I was jealous that you were spending all that time with Eunji and of how much you were having fun with her. I just felt really insecure and thought that you didn’t want to hang out with me because you liked her company more than mine.” That felt closer to the truth and she was suddenly ashamed that she was voicing all of it to her friend. She tried to make it sound like she was that kind of best friend who gets jealous when their best friend hangs out with a new person and they become close within a matter of seconds, thinking that they’d get replaced. Even though she wasn’t that type of friend, it still felt fitting in this situation, because no way in hell would she admit that she was jealous because she was actually attracted to her friend and she hated the thought of another person flirting with them.

“I know it’s incredibly childish and immature of me, and I wouldn’t blame you if you were still annoyed with me, but I promise that I won’t be like that ever again.” That part was entirely truthful, and she looked at Lia with sincere eyes, conveying all the honesty in those words. 

“I… I don’t know what to say. If I was being honest, I’d say that I’m flattered. The fact that I’d invoke such emotion from you just because you thought that I was… what? Replacing you?” Lia had a dumbfounded look on her face, “This is so ridiculous.” She heard her scoff. Man, did she actually blow her chance, and nothing she could say can fix this now? 

“You’re right. I was being ridiculous. But if you give me another chance… again…” Monika sheepishly scratched the side of her head and continued, “I promise you that this won’t happen again.” She looked at her, eyes pleading, “Please, I- I don’t want to lose you again.” She said with a hushed tone, and Monika didn’t care if she sounded close to begging now. She was determined to get the woman back, whatever it takes. 

There was a pause after she said those words. She saw how Lia just looked at her with a furrow brow, like she was trying to make sense of her. She knew that it was the first time she had acted like that towards her friends, as she was someone who always had the maturity of a fifty year old. She was someone whom her friend could easily depend on, even though she was two years younger than her. So it was possible that Lia found this situation extremely strange. She was about to explain further when Lia finally said something.

“Okay.”

“I– what?”

“I said, okay. I forgive you. I’m giving you a chance, you ridiculous woman.” She finally saw the humor back in her friend’s eyes, as she chuckled at Monika.

“That’s great. Thank you.” She let out a sigh of relief, and gave her friend a smile. All the stress from last week all but faded away, and she was more than happy that Lia decided to be on good terms with her again. 

Monika realized that she had been smiling at her friend for a few seconds now, and she could already see the slight discomfort in her friend’s eyes as time went by. She suddenly felt awkward at that, so she tried to make conversation and asked, “By the way, how did I do earlier in class?” 

“Hmm, are you gonna get jealous again if I told you that someone did better than you?” Lia said, mirth gleaming in her eyes. Oh they’re so back. 

“Ha-ha. You know what? Maybe I will be. You know how competitive I get when it comes to dancing.” She leaned back in her chair and crossed her arms, looking at Lia as if daring her to say that she didn’t find her the best in that class. It would actually hurt her pride if that was true.

Monika saw Lia holding back a smile, clearly teasing her. 

“Don’t worry, you're the best student in that class. But I’m the one who’s obviously better than you. I’m the teacher after all.” Monika knew she was just joking, but she actually agreed with her. She’d always found her friend to be one of the best dancers she had ever seen. But of course, she wouldn’t let her know about that just yet.

“Is that a challenge, Miss Lia?” Monika quickly stood up and stretched, acting like she was preparing to do a dance battle with her.

“You’re on.” She watched Lia stand up as well, as she smirked and raised her eyebrow at Monika. 

This is going to be fun.

——————

The impromptu dance battle ended up with them both sitting down on the floor, exhausted. 

It started with them trying to dance seriously, showing a few techniques and some tricks, but it quickly ended up with them just dancing together with all of their energy, both laughing and trying to outmatch each other with their silly dance moves, because no one was actually there to judge and tell them who the better dancer was. It was obvious that they just wanted to have a little fun and maybe, they also wanted to release all that remaining negative tension from their fight from last week. They ended up even more tired than the actual dance class that Lia taught earlier. 

“So, what are you going to be up to until we go back to filming in three weeks?” Lia turned to Monika as she heard the younger woman ask her. They were sitting side by side on the floor, both leaning back at the front of the sofa. 

“Just going to do what I usually do. Probably spend my time here in the studio and hold classes every other day.”

“You’re already a successful businesswoman and a celebrity at that. Shouldn’t you be spending most of your time relaxing or like, hanging out with friends or doing something enjoyable?”

Lia almost got offended by that. “This is enjoyable.” 

“Well, of course. I, too, enjoy holding classes and teaching, let me just be clear about that. But technically, it’s still work. If I were in your position, I’d probably spend most of my days traveling or something. Like exploring new hobbies. Or doing fun activities. And I’d probably just conduct classes once a month.” She saw how Monika looked as if she was seriously considering doing all that if she was actually a rich, successful CEO like her. She looked adorable as Monika had her pointer finger on her lip, a picture of someone really deep in thought. 

Wait, adorable? Oh, Lia had it really bad. 

“Teaching dance, interacting with students and making new choreographies… they’re actually fun for me. I’m not just doing it because I’m a workaholic. It’s something that I really enjoy.” Lia had a smile on her face, wistful as she said those words. It was true, though. She liked being in the comfort of her studio more than spending her time outside doing what Monika considered to be “fun”.

“Okay, fair. I’m just going to agree to disagree. Our definitions of what fun is are totally different.” 

Lia saw how Monika looked like she was contemplating on asking her something else though, as her friend stared at her, lips pursed.

“What is it?” That made Monika snap out of her reverie.

“Ah, nothing. I was just gonna ask if you wanted to hang out again since we won’t be seeing each other until the next filming starts. I think it would be fun to just go out and like, do fun things.” Monika lamely said. She wanted to laugh at how embarrassed the woman looked. “You know, like the old days.” Monika actually looked a little nervous at that, no matter how much she tried to cooly say it.

“What did you have in mind? It better be worth my time if I was going to sacrifice a day here at the studio.” Lia smirked at her, letting her know that she’s just teasing her. Of course she’d go out with her. As a friend. Lia wanted to sigh at that. 

“I was thinking of getting some fresh air and just strolling along Han River, then we could go and get dinner at a nearby restaurant.” 

She remembered how they used to always hang out at one of the parks along Han River, back when they were still doing competitions. The beautiful view and the refreshing air, partnered with deep conversations, were the best stress reliever for the both of them. It seemed that Monika’s tastes didn’t change at all, as she still wanted to go there with her. 

“That's fine by me. When do you want to go?” 

“Sometime next week? After the interim check for our teams probably.” She almost forgot that they were supposed to meet with the contestants on their team again to check their upcoming performances for the next round next Tuesday. They’ll just be meeting with their respective teams so she and Monika probably won’t have a chance to see each other then. That’s why the woman was eager to make a schedule with her. She almost swooned at the woman’s enthusiasm and how she went out of her way just to hang out with her. 

“Perfect. I’m okay with that.” Lia easily agreed without checking her calendar. She figured that she’d just fix her schedule later. 

“Great! It’s a date.” Date? That was a surprise. 

And it seemed that it surprised the other woman as well as she watched how the panic slowly manifested into Monika’s face, realizing what she just said. Her friend quickly opened her mouth to rectify it.

“I mean, a friendly date. The kids call a hangout between two friends a date these days anyway, right? Even if it’s not that kind of a date, it’s still a date. Between friends. I’m not insinuating anything.” Lia wanted to laugh at how much her friend’s face resembled a tomato as she tried to explain herself. Oh, Monika. 

“Relax, I get it. Stop rambling.” She smiled at Monika, taking mercy on her friend as she tried to save her from further embarrassment.

“Okay.” Monika finally let out a huge breath at that. But then, she suddenly turned serious and looked at Lia with a ghost of a smile on her face.

“And I wasn’t rambling because I was appalled at the idea of an actual date with you. It’s just, I’d plan a much better and a more romantic activity if I were to call it a real date.” 

Be still, Lia’s beating heart.

She was definitely shocked at Monika’s bold declaration, as she expected that her friend would just cower even more and deny any possible romantic implication between them. That confidence was such a major turn on, that Lia just wanted to scream, “Yes! Please get your act together and just take me out on a real date!” and be done with it.

But she still had to be careful lest she spook the younger woman. Regardless of what she just said, Lia knew that Monika would only make a move if she was entirely sure of her own feelings, and right now, she feels that her friend wasn’t there yet. She didn’t want to make things even more complicated if the other woman hadn’t fully made up her mind yet.

So it’s up to Lia to just sit still, and patiently wait for her friend to accept her own feelings, or whatever it is that Monika feels for her. 

She’d still try to throw her a bone, though.

“I don’t know, a nice stroll along the river and dinner after? Sounds pretty romantic to me.” Her friend knew that Lia was just teasing, but Monika’s entire demeanor still remained serious as she just let out a small chuckle. 

Okay, Lia was not gonna push anymore. 

She’d get there. Lia just hoped that it would be sooner rather than later.

Chapter Text

The weather couldn’t be more perfect.

Monika thought as she stood by the park entrance, waiting for Lia to arrive. They agreed to meet at 3 PM in the afternoon and she arrived fifteen minutes earlier because she didn’t want to risk having her friend get there earlier than her and make her wait. She’d already made a list of things that they were gonna do today, as well as a reservation at a restaurant for dinner later. She felt good that she was fully prepared for the day and Lia would just have to follow her lead. She just hoped that her friend would enjoy the activities that she had arranged for her today. 

She almost jumped when the subject of her thoughts suddenly appeared in front of her. The loud music that she’s listening to on her earbuds made her not see the other woman coming. She quickly removed them to properly greet her friend.

“Lia! You look great.” Well, she does, Monika wasn’t gonna lie. She was wearing a black bomber jacket and underneath was a sleeveless white crop top that showed her toned abs (where Monika’s eyes lingered far longer than usual) and fitted high-waisted jeans paired with white platform sneakers. 

“Thanks, you too.” Lia smiled at her in greeting, and looked at Monika approvingly as well. She was confident about her looks today, as she made time to style her hair and wore a little makeup. Some days, she’d just put on some sunscreen and some glasses and call it a day. She also wore a nice oversized black leather jacket, and a black pleated skirt with warm stockings underneath and Dr. Martens boots to complete the look. 

Even though Monika refused to call this a real date, the attraction that she’s feeling towards her friend still made her want to look extra nice for her and make an effort to impress her as if they were really on one. Also, it was an opportunity to try and fully understand what she’s truly feeling for her friend. She wanted to know if it was just an attraction, a crush, desire, or something much deeper than all of that combined. She didn’t want to start something with Lia if she herself wasn’t entirely sure of what she’s feeling. She didn’t want to risk ruining and complicating what they have, for good.

“Let’s go? I already have things planned for us to do. You can just follow my lead.” Monika waved to the direction of the park’s entrance. 

Lia raised her eyebrow, “Should I be scared?” 

“Have a little faith in me, would you?” Monika chuckled.

Lia just looked at her scrutinizingly, then after a few moments, she said, “Promise you won’t make me do anything weird?” She just laughed and nodded, assuring Lia. “Alright, you’re the boss for today.”

Monika finally started walking and Lia followed suit. “So I was thinking, we should go and ride a bike first before it gets dark. The trail along the river looks nice.” She started going to the direction of where the bike rentals are.

“Okay, sounds fun.” Monika let out a little sigh of relief, thankful that her friend didn’t show any signs of protest. 

They walked in silence until they got to the stall where there were hundreds of bikes lined up, waiting to be rented.

“Wait here.” Monika went to talk to the staff in charge, and asked for the bike that she wanted to try. She thought long and hard on what type of bike she was going to pick for this activity, and hoped that Lia would be up for it. 

“Can I rent this for an hour? Thank you.” She pointed at the bike that she wanted.

After paying and surrendering her ID, she finally took the bike and came back to the spot where Lia was waiting.

She could already see the incredulous expression on her friend’s face. Monika tried to hold back a laugh, just in case Lia thought that she’s only doing this as a joke.

“What is that thing?” Her friend exclaimed when she finally got close.

“This… is a tandem bike. I thought we could try this together. Since we’re kind of rebuilding our friendship, this is a great activity to test how well we could still work together.” Monika tried to explain as genuinely as possible, but it was almost impossible as she wanted to burst into laughter at how Lia looked at the bike like it was the most horrendous thing she had ever seen.

“Have you tried riding one of these before?” She heard the hesitation on Lia’s voice, like she was truly second guessing her decision to go through with Monika’s plan.

“I’ve read about how to use it.” Monika nonchalantly replied.

“Yes, but have you actually tried riding it? Experiencing it first hand?” 

“No, but it should be fine. Don’t worry.” She tried to confidently say and assure her friend. She didn’t want to show any signs of uncertainty lest she make Lia back out of this completely. “Come on, the trail is only a few minutes walk away from here, let’s take this first and start riding it there. Hold the handle for the rear bike.”

She saw how unsure Lia still was about this whole thing, but she still did as what Monika said nonetheless.

After finally reaching the trail, Monika turned to Lia to give her the instructions.

“So I’ll be leading at the front and you’ll sit there at the back. I’m going to straddle the bike first so I can balance it properly before you get on, okay?”

“Okay.”

Monika read that she was supposed to put her leg over the front bike’s handle, different from how she gets on on a single bike. Readying herself, she stretched her leg over the bike’s handle and finally got both feet planted on both sides of the bike. It’s a good thing that she was a dancer and was flexible enough to do the first step. 

She addressed her friend again, “Now get on like how you normally do. Don’t do what I just did. My part was a bit more complicated.” Monika waited until she was finally sitting. “Then you can just put both feet on the pedals. Wait, adjust them first.” She pointed to the pedals, “Put the right pedal forward. We have to be in sync when we pedal later. After that, you can now put both feet on the pedal and stay there, don’t put it down.” She gently relayed the instructions even though she was feeling a little nervous now that they’re actually doing it. 

“I’m done, now what?” 

“Now, you will follow my lead and put all your trust in me. Can you do that?” They both knew that Monika was just referring to the bike activity, but the way she said it, full of conviction and seriousness, made the meaning of those words become much deeper than that. The playful tone was suddenly replaced with something a bit momentous.

And Lia seemed to understand the double meaning of the question, as her eyes turned solemn, “I… just promise that I won’t get hurt?” Again. The unsaid word ringing in Monika’s ears. Yes, she’d do anything in her power not to repeat the same mistakes and hurt and lose her friend again. 

“I promise.” 

Who knew that biking could be this deep?

“Okay. I’ll trust you.”

Monika smiled at that, then finally, she turned forward and put her foot at the pedal so they could start.

“On the count of three, we’ll start pedaling. One, two, three, go!” 

It was a little harder than she thought, as the bike failed to start when she tried to push the pedal. She realized that she should’ve put a little more force than usual since she’s carrying for the weight of two.

“Why aren’t we moving?” She heard Lia say behind her.

“I forgot that the bike was going to be a little heavier than I thought, I forgot to put a little power in my pedal.” Monika tried to explain with a nervous chuckle.

“Are you saying that I’m heavy?” Oh shoot. She heard the danger in that voice.

“No, no. It’s totally my fault, I was too weak with my push. You’re perfectly fine. More than fine actually. You’re a fine woman. Uh… let’s try that again, shall we?” She tried to shut herself up before she embarrassed herself any further. She really needed to stop becoming a blubbering idiot whenever she’s around the other woman. 

“Do it properly this time. Don’t make me regret this.” 

She gulped as she tried to do a better job than before.

“Okay, on three. One, two, three!” 

And they were moving. But it wasn’t because she was pedaling, no, she still failed to properly get on the bike and get the pedal moving, as her other foot was manually scraping the ground while the other foot was unmoving on the pedal. It was probably such a laughable sight as the other bikers were looking at her weirdly, and some of them were holding back a snicker. 

“Monika, what the hell are you doing?” She heard the exasperated tone of the other woman. So much for wanting to impress her friend. 

“Wait, wait. Stop.” 

“I’m not even doing anything.”

“No, uh, I’m talking to myself.” Monika finally stopped manually moving the bike and put both feet again on the ground. 

It was definitely a challenge, but Monika was not someone who’d easily back down. And so, resolute to try once again, she turned to her friend.

“Sorry, let’s try that again. I’ll get it this time, trust me.”

“What choice do I have?” She heard the teasing in her voice, so Monika knew that Lia wasn’t actually annoyed at all these failed attempts.

“On three again. One, two, three!”

And they were off, as Monika finally got the bike going successfully. It was a little shaky at first, but she pushed through with all she got and focused on just getting it stable. 

“Just try to match my timing and we’re good. This is just like dancing, if we’re in sync, it’ll turn out much better.” Monika explained further.

It was a good thing that there weren’t a lot of people on the biking trail, so they were just able to easily breeze through it without stopping. It was a beautiful day, the sun was shining, the air was cool, and the view was stunning. 

“How are you doing back there?” She tried to turn her head back to talk to her friend.

“I must admit, this is turning out to be a lot more fun than I first thought. Plus, seeing you navigate this bike for the first time was very entertaining to watch.” Monika heard the older woman chuckle. She gasped exaggeratingly.

“Wow, you’re laughing at my misfortunes? I thought you were my friend.” She retorted jokingly, acting like she was offended. 

“Isn’t that what friends do? Laugh at each other's hilarious failures?” She heard the glee in Lia’s voice. Well, at least she’s having fun, even if it’s at the expense of Monika’s embarrassment. 

“Fine. But I’m still much better than most first timers.” She smugly said.

“Debatable.” Oh?

“You know a lot of first timers?” 

“No, but I can bet that I can get it on the first try if I were the one leading.” 

Why is this woman always trying to make everything a competition? Monika fondly thought.

“A bet? Oh, you’re on. I can give you the reins on the way back.” Then an idea came into Monika’s mind. “The loser will post on their Instagram story a picture of the winner with ‘she’s the best!’ as the caption and tagging them. No other context provided.” A simple but fun dare. It would be funnier if Monika won though, since Lia has more than a million followers on that social media platform and it would be funny to see how her audience would react.  

“Okay, I can do that. I can even send you a picture of me right now so you can post it later when you eventually lose.” Cockiness filled the other woman’s voice.

“If I lose, you mean. Don’t be so sure of yourself.” 

Monika tried to fasten the pace so they could reach the point where they could circle back to where the rental place was and finally exchange places. “Come on, pedal faster.”

“Eager to lose, are we?” She heard Lia say. She could picture the smirk and the smug look on her friend’s face right now. She hated how she even found that endearing. 

“Careful, you might eat your words later.” Monika retorted, equally as smug.

They cycled for another ten minutes in silence, both vibrating in excitement at the new challenge ahead. 

As they finally reached the point where they would switch, Monika slowed down and made a signal for them to stop. She put both feet on the ground, balancing the bike as she waited for Lia to get off, then she followed suit and put her leg over the handle in front of her, the same way she did earlier. She then maneuvered the bike to the opposite lane, facing the direction from where they started.

“Okay, show me what you’ve got.”

——————

“Are you done? You’ve been taking a selfie for the past five minutes. I’m sure one of them is already fine. Let me see.” Lia tried to keep Monika’s phone out of her reach when she tried to snatch it in the middle of taking a photo of herself. 

They were already back at the bike rental place where Lia was now making Monika do the loser’s dare. The younger woman had been pouting ever since they returned. Monika probably didn’t expect that Lia would really be able to do it on the first try. She was cackling for most of the whole ride back. 

“I’m almost done. I need to pick the best one if I’m going to be featured on your lovely page.” She sweetly said, teasing her friend. Then as she remembered something, she asked, “Wait, I’m not blocked on your account, right?”

“No. I don’t have any reasons to.” That meant that Monika wasn’t the one who had been wronged in the first place, and she wasn’t the one who was trying to move on from the other person. Lia was. Speaking of…

“Well, you’re blocked on mine.” She was almost embarrassed to say it out loud. “But don’t worry, I’m going to unblock you now. How am I going to reshare it and brag to the world that you think I’m the best?” Lia wiggled her eyebrows as she went back to teasing her friend, trying to stray away from that other subject. 

“Then stop taking pictures and pick something already.” Her friend came closer and looked over her shoulder and scrolled through her gallery. “Jesus, you’ve already taken almost twenty selfies?” 

Lia was thankful that Monika was too busy looking at her phone because the sudden closeness of their faces made her heart pick up its pace and her breathing became faster. She could almost feel the other woman’s cheek on hers with how close they were. Lia quickly handed the phone to her friend and stepped away.

“Here, you do it. Just pick the most decent one.”

She saw how her sudden movement confused Monika for a bit, but still proceeded with the task after a few seconds.

“Okay, this looks cute.” She saw how Monika smiled at the picture, then quickly typed in the caption. “And done. Unblock me now so you can see it.”

Lia took her phone out from her bag then did as told. When she got to Monika’s profile and unblocked her, she already saw the pink circle on her display picture that signified that she had posted a Story and clicked on it. There were already a few stories from this day such as the picture of the Han River, a picture of the park entrance, and a picture of what seemed to be her back when she rode at the front of the tandem bike. Then lastly, the dare with the picture of her with the given caption. What made her face threaten to break out into a huge grin though was the added heart emoticons after the caption. That was definitely not part of the dare, and it was probably put on Monika’s own volition. She immediately checked her message requests and looked for the younger woman’s message so she could properly reshare the story. She would probably get some interesting reactions from her old dancer friends who knew them from before, as it’s been more than a decade since they were last seen hanging out together. 

“Done. I put it in my Story as well. My phone’s about to blow up in a few minutes.” Lia silenced her notifications first then she locked and put her phone inside her bag again. “So, what shall we do next?” 

“I was thinking of walking along this nature trail not far from here and find a good spot to watch the sunset later.” 

Seriously? How is this not considered a real date? 

“That sounds lovely.” She didn’t want to voice her thoughts out loud because whether Monika calls this a date or not, Lia’s still loving all of the planned activities that her friend prepared for them. 

“Come on, we should find a spot before it gets too crowded.” 

They walked for a few minutes before they got to the actual trail, and when they got there, Lia was in awe at how beautiful it was. The greenery plus the added view of the river was so stunning that she couldn’t help but smile as they walked. 

They were enjoying each other’s company in silence, and just taking in the fresh air and the serene environment when a group of rowdy teenagers came into view and ruined the peaceful moment. They were laughing loudly and playing around so when they passed them, one of the teenagers accidentally bumped into Lia and was suddenly pushed towards her friend. She was about to glare at the teenager when she heard Monika’s angry voice.

“Hey! Watch it.” 

As Monika said it, the younger woman gently switched their positions so that she would be inside the lane, and protectively put her arms around Lia’s shoulders, as if shielding her from people possibly bumping into her again.

Lia might have swooned at that.

“Sorry, lady!” the teenager offered. She saw how Monika just glared at them until they were far enough and out of view.

“Teenagers.” Her friend rolled her eyes. “Are you okay?” Monika then turned to Lia. They were now much closer than before, and her face was mere inches away from the other woman, as Monika still had her arm wrapped around her shoulders. Lia saw how Monika’s eyes dropped down on her lips for a split second, then came back up to meet her eyes in concern. 

Lia almost stopped breathing at that, and she could hear her heart pumping loudly in her chest. The sudden closeness made her mind a little cloudy, but she still wished that Monika would keep her arms around her so they could continue walking in this position. 

“I’m fine. You didn’t need to do that, though. I can take care of myself.” As much as her heart liked how Monika handled that for her, she still wanted the other woman to know that she’s not as fragile as she thinks.

“I know. I guess it was just instincts. I apologize, if that offended you in some way. But I can’t promise that I won’t do it again in the future. Take care of you, that is.” Lia almost didn’t register her words because Monika was now rubbing her hand soothingly on her arm as she spoke. It was too distracting but at the same time, she wished that her jacket wasn’t in the way so that she could feel that warm hand on her skin. 

“Will you let me?” She heard Monika ask.

“No one’s ever asked that of me. I don’t know how to let someone do those things for me other than myself.” She tried to be honest with the other woman. Even though she agreed to being friends again with Monika, she admits that she’s still having a hard time letting people in. 

“You’re not by yourself anymore. You have me.” 

Lia just smiled sadly at her. “But for how long? I don’t want to get used to something that I’m not sure would even be permanent.” 

Monika sighed, “Lia, nothing is truly permanent in this world. But believe me when I say that I’ll be here for as long as you need me.” And she did believe it. She knew how the woman had changed and she trusted that she wouldn’t repeat the same mistakes that broke their friendship apart before. 

“I’m not saying no. I just wanted to be sure that you’re not just doing this because everything feels new again and you’re not just making grand promises in the heat of the moment.” 

“I’m not. You know that I always keep my word. And I always mean what I say.”

“Then, fine.” Lia knew that when Monika’s mind is set on something, there is no stopping her. Besides, deep down, it felt nice that someone cared enough to worry about her wellbeing. And when that someone turned out to be the woman that she has always loved for all these years? It’s like hitting the jackpot.

“Really? Wow. Okay. Thank you.” She chuckled at the shocked expression on her friend’s face. She probably didn’t expect that Lia would agree that soon. 

“Now let’s go, my knight in shining armor, we have a sunset to catch.”

“Ugh, don’t make it weird.” 

Lia couldn’t help the glorious laughter that came out of her.

And if she also wrapped her arm around the other woman’s waist as they continued walking, then she’d just say that it was more comfortable that way. 

——————

“Where are you taking me?” Monika heard Lia ask.

It was already getting dark and they were now on a taxi to go to the restaurant where Monika made a reservation. They could’ve walked as it was pretty nearby but she didn’t want to risk getting late or worse, to miss their table completely.

“It’s just a restaurant that had a lot of great reviews. I looked it up and it was one of the highest rated places in the area. They also said that it has a spectacular view of the city and the river.” It was actually the first time Monika heard about the place, and she hadn’t actually eaten there yet, but the restaurant had an almost perfect star rating on the web and the pictures that she saw of the place, as well as the food, made her book a reservation right away as she also saw that it gets fully booked pretty fast. 

And the reviews were right, as they finally arrived at their destination. They both got out as soon as she was done paying the driver and they both stood there for a moment, taking in the gorgeous sight of the three-story restaurant. The structure was pretty modern but still cozy, there were a lot of hanging lights outside, and the second and third floors had tall floor-to-ceiling windows. They also had a rooftop area if people wanted an outdoor dining experience. She booked a table by the window on the third floor just in case Lia wanted to be indoors and it could also provide more privacy since they were gonna be in a booth.

“Come on, our reservation is in five minutes.” 

They were greeted by a waitress by the reception area and were asked to provide for the name the reservation was under. The waitress checked the list and as she confirmed it, she then led them to the stairs where another waitress was there to lead them upstairs and to their table. 

As they finally got up, she heard Lia let out a small gasp beside her. Her eyes widened a bit at the sight, too, as she saw that all of the tables were arranged as a two-seater, and the room was almost full with couples, some of them were even in their formal attires. The room was dimly lit, and the candles on the tables were the ones mostly lighting up the area. She probably should’ve researched about the restaurant more, as it seemed that it was a place that you only go to if you were with a romantic partner or on a date. And Monika insisted that it wasn’t a date. She didn’t really intend to confuse Lia or anything.

She tried to ignore the vibe of the room and just followed their waitress to their booth. She almost smacked her head as the table that she reserved looked even more romantic than the tables at the front of the room. It looked secluded as there were walls separating them from each booth, and they were beside the window that had an unobstructed view of the river. The table had a beautiful flower arrangement and they also had candles lighting up the booth as well. The pictures definitely didn’t do this place justice as it looked ten times more beautiful in person. Maybe that’s why she didn’t notice how romantic this place actually was.

“You can ring this bell if you’re ready to place an order. I’ll leave you with the menus.”

“Thank you.” She smiled at the waitress as they got seated, and tried to avoid eye contact with the person sitting across from her.

She put all her attention on the menu in front of her, not noticing that Lia was looking at her, waiting for her to say something. After a few minutes, she heard Lia clear her throat. She sighed, then finally put down the menu to address the other woman.

“It’s a beautiful place, isn’t it?” She nervously chuckled as she tried to ignore the raised eyebrow of her friend.

“What exactly did you type when you looked up this place? Top Romantic Restaurants To Impress Your Date?” She could see the ghost of a smirk on the other woman. Great, now she’s teasing her. She’s already pretty embarrassed as it is.

“I swear, I didn’t know that it would be this type of place!” She tried to defend herself, but that only made the other woman grin even wider. “Let’s just… pick something to order first. I’m pretty hungry.” She really didn’t want to stay on this subject even longer, even though Lia didn’t appear mad or anything, she still felt bad that her friend got suddenly thrown in on a date that she didn’t consent to. If Monika really intended to ask her out, she’d ask for her permission properly. 

And she didn’t want to think about that, as she hadn’t completely made up her mind yet. But what she’s truly sure of at that moment, was that she liked spending time with her friend like this, and that she wanted to be by her side often. The urge to protect and take care of the woman was also strong, and that notion made her realize that it wasn’t just simple attraction that she’s feeling for her friend. Maybe this dinner could help give her some answers to everything she’s feeling right now. 

“Okay.” She’s thankful that Lia finally let it go.

After a few minutes of deciding what they’d order, they called out to the waitress attending to them and relayed their orders. When the waitress was gone, she saw that Lia was scrolling through her phone and was laughing at what she probably saw or read. She didn’t have to be curious though as Lia showed her the screen of her phone and scrolled through the amount of people messaging her from the story she reposted earlier. 

“They’re going crazy.” Her friend said, amused.

“Wait, let me see what Hyojin said. Can I?” She asked before she clicked on the message first.

“Sure. I would like to know as well. She’s probably losing her mind.” 

She opened it and laughed at the content of the message.

hyojinchoi: OH MY GODD

hyojinchoi: WAR IS OVER

“What did she say?” She didn’t get to answer it as Lia took back the phone and read it herself. She saw the moment her friend finished reading it as she let out a gleeful laugh and her eyes were crinkling at the corner. It was definitely a wonderful sight.

“There’s also one from Jiyoung.” Lia carefully said. Well, Monika didn’t expect that. 

“Don’t tell me if it’s bad. She’s probably still mad at me.” 

“No, actually. Look.” Lia gave her phone to Monika again and read their former teammate’s message. 

bbsleek: I’m happy for you both.

That made her smile. That was actually sweet of her. She’s glad that Jiyoung seemed to be finally warming up to her. 

After reading the message, she forgot that it wasn’t actually her phone as she clicked on the back button to exit on the message like habit. What she saw made her furrow her brow a bit, as she saw that the person under Jiyoung’s message was none other than Lia’s team member, Eunji. She could see the first words of the message from the preview.

funkyeo: Replied to your story: You look beau…

She promised Lia that she wouldn’t act like that again, but she couldn’t help the slight irritation she felt towards the contestant when she saw that message. 

“What’s wrong? Why do you look mad? Did someone send a hate message?” She really was the worst at controlling her expressions. 

“No, I was just thinking of something else. Hey, we should take a picture here. Make our friends go insane even more.” She tried to change the subject. Also, she felt challenged when she saw Eunji’s message and that made her feel the need to show off. 

She went back to Lia’s home page where she clicked the plus sign button at the lower middle and clicked ‘Story’.

“You’re using my phone well, huh.” The other woman shook her head, as she smiled fondly at her. 

She stood up and squeezed herself on the seat beside Lia and extended her hand so the view behind them could also be seen. “Smile!” After she snapped a shot, she looked at the photo with a stupid grin on her face. They looked good together, if she must say so herself. And they really looked like they were out on a date. Monika found that she didn’t mind that, and that it would really be nice if they could really go on a real one.

Soon, Monika thought. 

After she posted the picture on Lia’s Instagram Story, she closed the phone and gave it back to the other woman. Then she stood up and went back to her seat. 

A few minutes after that and some small talk about the show, their food finally arrived. They ate in silence for a moment, both seemed to be starving as they did a lot of physical activities earlier that day. 

“I have to admit, this turned out to be the best “friendly” date I had ever been to.” Monika almost choked on her food at that. She coughed and cleared her throat. 

“I’m glad. Thank you, for agreeing and letting me do all this.” 

“Of course. I’m just worried that you won’t be able to top this if you would ever take me on a real date.” Lia seemed to like teasing her about that. For all she knew, maybe her friend was actually hinting about it and she actually wanted Monika to ask her out for real. 

But that would be impossible, right? She hadn’t seen any signs of Lia seeing her that way… right? 

Maybe it was time to test the waters. Regardless of what she feels right now, she thought that it would be nice to see if the other woman would be interested as well, if it ever comes down to it.

“Try me.” Monika said with a straight face. 

That made Lia pause. All signs of teasing went away from her face, and she could see the eyes that were slightly questioning her, trying to see if Monika was being serious or not. 

Well, she guessed that the perfect opportunity to figure out what she truly feels, is to figure it out with the other woman. The fear of ruining everything was still there, but she also feared that she wouldn’t be able to fully realize her feelings if she was constantly denying and stopping herself. 

Monika took a deep breath. It was now, or never. 

“Let’s go out. On a real date.”

Chapter Text

Monika stepped inside the automatic sliding doors of LK Studios, visiting yet again her friend slash owner of said studio for the fourth time that week.

She went straight to the elevators and clicked the button of the floor of Lia’s office, greeting some employees along the way, none of them batting an eye at the fact that they were being graced by the presence of another studio owner. They’d probably gotten used to her presence by now. 

As she arrived at the floor of Lia’s office, she knocked before barging in, not waiting for the other woman to open the door for her, since she was probably busy working on her choreography for her class that evening.

“Food delivery for Miss Lia Kim!” She mischievously shouted as she entered the room. As expected, Lia was already practicing in the corner of her office.

“Sorry, you must’ve gotten the wrong Lia Kim. I didn’t order anything.” Her friend teased back. “But if it looks delicious, I’ll take it.” 

She took a seat at the small dining table for two at the other side of Lia’s office, and took out the pack of containers that contained some homemade food that she prepared earlier at her house. It was a variety of rice, meat, vegetables and some side dishes. It was already way past lunch time but she knew that Lia tended to eat in the afternoon so she wouldn’t be too hungry before her class that evening. It was the perfect time to eat since the food would probably be digested before she goes to class, and she wouldn’t feel too heavy. 

“Come and eat first, before this gets cold.” 

Lia must already be hungry as she complied right away and walked over to the table where the food was being laid out by Monika.

“That smells good.” She saw how her friend’s eyes brightened at the sight of the dishes. “Thank you, even though I already told you that you don’t have to feed me everytime you come here. I can always order food for us. You’re the guest here.”

“But isn’t my cooking much better than the ones you can order from any shop?” Monika batted her eyelashes at Lia. “I also told you that I don’t like coming empty handed. And it makes me feel better that you’re eating something healthy and filling, compared to the energy bars that you’ve been eating before.”

“Fine. You’re lucky that you’re a great cook, or else I wouldn’t be totally convinced.” Her friend jokingly rolled her eyes, then gave her a genuine smile that told Monika that the other woman was truly grateful for what she did.

“Please, sit. Make yourself at home.” Monika laughingly said as she made Lia take a seat at her own dining chair. Lia chuckled and raised her eyebrow at her before she sat.

“Speaking of home, don’t you have your own dance academy to run?” 

“It’s fine, I go there in the mornings anyway, and I still teach on days that I’m not here. Also, Hyowon is there just in case they need a boss around.” 

“Right. I almost forgot you have a business partner. How is Hyowon, by the way?” That was said in a weird, cold way, Monika thought. 

“She’s doing good. She’s been a lot of help to me, and she’s a wonderful best friend and business partner. We, uh, live together, too. To save money, of course. It’s the most practical solution.” She didn’t know why she also said that in a weird way. It’s not like she’s living with someone who she has a romantic connection to, so she shouldn’t be feeling guilty in some way. 

But considering Monika and Lia’s current unlabeled status, she didn’t want to give an impression that she wasn’t available. Especially when she just asked Lia to go out on a real date with her. 

The date that may or may not happen yet, as Lia hadn’t given her a clear answer on that subject.

Her mind went to that conversation again, the one that happened right after she let out in the open that she wanted to date her friend.

“Let’s go out. On a real date.”

It took a lot of effort for her to say it out loud, but Monika was glad that she was still able to utter those words with all the confidence and bravado that she had.

She saw the mixed emotions that passed through her friend’s face, understandable since she really dumped this on her out of the blue. She was already getting nervous as time went by and the other woman just sat there, looking at her in wonder mixed with confusion. She just hoped that Lia would give her an answer soon before she decided to take back what she said and pretend that she was just joking to save herself from the embarrassment of getting rejected, or worse, if she gets disgusted at the thought of being with Monika romantically.

She almost did just that when the older woman beat her to it and spoke.

“Why?” Lia asked.

Monika took a second to think about her answer, then said carefully, “Because I feel like there could be something more between us. Something that could be more than friendship. And I wanted to explore that.” A simple answer for a simple question. She knew that she needed to be direct so her friend would know that she wasn’t playing around. 

“I… you’re not in a rush for an answer, right?”

“Of course, take all the time you need.” She almost breathed a sigh of relief that she wasn’t outright rejected. She felt hopeful at that moment.

“This is something that could change everything between us, and it could end with us both getting hurt really badly if we’re not careful. We could lose each other for good.” Monika saw the fear in Lia’s eyes, the same fear that’s been nagging inside her as she contemplated whether to pursue this or not. But she wouldn’t be able to live with herself if she didn’t at least give it a try. If she didn’t give them a try.

“But it could also end up becoming something that is truly beautiful. We could both end up being happier than ever before.” Monika tried to make the other woman see the positive side as she smiled, hopeful.

She could still see the hesitation in her friend’s demeanor, and she didn’t blame her as they were about to make a decision that could be a big turning point in their lives.

“I know. But I still want to think about this more, and I think you should, too. Let’s talk about this again later, is that okay?”

That’s fair, Monika thought.

“Okay.”

“That’s nice.” 

Monika’s mind snapped to the present when her friend responded. The way she said it was so devoid of emotion that it seemed robot-like. She wondered what that was about. Maybe she was just tired.

“What type of class do you have tonight?” She tried to change the subject.

“Beginners. Why? Thinking of joining again?”

“No, but I can watch outside right? I don’t want to sit here alone for an hour and a half.” Monika said.

“Or, you can always go back to your studio.” Lia suggested, teasing her. 

“I can go if that’s what you really want.” She smirked as she dared Lia.

That just earned her an eye roll. That’s a no then, Monika chuckled. 

They spent a few minutes in silence as Monika just watched Lia eat her food. She’s already eaten her lunch earlier before she got there so she was too full to join her. She watched with a smile, as Lia seemed to be enjoying everything she prepared for her. The sight warmed her heart. That was the reason why she’s going out of her way almost everyday to cook for her and bringing it to the other woman every time she goes there, as it felt rewarding to see Lia appreciate what she’s brought.

“By the way, I wanted to ask… Have you settled those issues with your studio yet?” She heard the slight hesitation in Lia’s voice, as if she didn’t know if it was okay to talk about it.

“Not entirely.” She answered truthfully. She didn’t really want to show how much her business was struggling financially, especially if she’s currently in the process of impressing the other woman and making her realize that she’s worthy of her. Monika didn’t want to give Lia an impression of how much she’s failing right now. She didn’t want to look like a loser.

“You know, I’ve been thinking… Maybe I could do a pop-up class in your studio. It could really generate some noise, and we don’t have to wait for the show to air before you could get some publicity for your studio.” Lia offered. It seemed that her friend had already given this a lot of thought. 

While Monika found it sweet that her friend was willing to help her out, she also thought that she shouldn’t be burdening the older woman with her problem. That time when Lia tried to keep her from getting fired before was already enough, she didn’t want to get her involved any further.

She smiled and said, “I appreciate the offer, but it's fine, I can take care of it. You don’t need to go out of your way just to help me. I know you don’t hold classes in other studios besides your own.” Monika gently declined. 

“No, I want to do it. You do realize that it’s normal for friends to help each other, right? You don’t have to figure this out all by yourself.” She almost got swayed by that. 

“I know, that’s why I’m helping you by telling you to stay put and let me handle this alone. You don’t need this added stress.” She tried to reason with Lia.

“If our positions were switched, what would you do in this situation?” Monika would do everything in her power to help her. Hell, she’d even make it her own problem if she could, and take all that burden from the other woman. 

Oh. 

She didn’t voice that thought out loud, as it would just prove Lia right. She really didn’t want her friend to get mixed up with her failing business. 

But her non response seemed to just fuel Lia, and took it as Monika agreeing with the older woman.

“See? Now shut up and let me do it.” 

Monika sighed as she failed to deter Lia from doing what she wanted. Well, she guessed one class wouldn’t hurt. And she could really use the publicity for her studio right now. 

“Fine. I’ll think about it.” Monika feigned annoyance at having been vested, but dropped the act immediately and smiled at her friend sincerely, “Thank you, you didn’t have to, but I’m grateful nonetheless.”

“Monika, I can’t just sit by and watch you struggle when I know full well that I have the ability to help. So yes, as your friend, I did have to.” She said it with full certainty that Monika couldn’t help but finally agree with the other woman. 

She just nodded and let the topic go.

“What time do you have to go to your class?” Monika looked at the time, it was only past 4 PM in the afternoon.

“8 PM. Why?” 

She gave her friend a playful grin. “What games do you have on your Switch?” Monika pointed at the console that was connected to the TV at the other side of the room. She’d been looking at it ever since she started hanging out with Lia in her office, but it was the first time that she asked the other woman about it.

“Are you a child?” Lia chuckled at her.

“Says the woman who has a gaming console in her office!” Monika jokingly huffed.

“That came with the design of the room, I’ve never even played it once. It was supposed to be used as entertainment just in case I bring guests over.”

“And you said that I’m a guest, so, let it do the entertaining part.” 

“Okay, fine.” She laughed at the exasperated tone of her friend’s voice, and stood and went to open up the TV and the console. She has one in her apartment so she was pretty familiar with how to use it. She tried to check if one of the games she was sure that Lia would also enjoy was there, and when she did find it, she immediately clicked it and started the game.

Monika then turned to Lia who was still sitting at the dining chair, already finished with her food, “Come on, play with me.”

——————

“Again! I swear I’ll beat you this time.”

They’ve been playing this game called “Mario Kart” for almost an hour and not once has Lia won over Monika. It wasn’t fair because it was the first time that she’d played the game while the other had already mastered it as she already knew what characters to pick and how to use them properly. She had also been hit multiple times with the items that Monika had been throwing at her, hindering her from getting the lead and making her eventually lose. And as someone who didn’t like losing, Lia kept asking to play some more so she could get revenge and beat the other woman, because she just couldn’t accept the fact that she’s getting her butt kicked in this children’s game. 

“You’ve been saying that for the last three matches, and yet…” Yes, she kept losing. The younger woman had the audacity to laugh at her. She badly wanted to get that smug look off of her face. Her traitorous eyes suddenly dropped to Monika’s lips as she laughed, thinking of that one way to actually get her friend to stop laughing at her. She shook her head as it would definitely be a bad idea, and that she probably wouldn’t be able to control herself if she ever did what the image in her mind supplied for her.

“Just go start the next round.” She rolled her eyes and tried to hide the fact that she was suddenly getting a little warm. She took off her jacket to cool herself down a bit. 

That action got Monika to finally pause and stop laughing, and saw her friend’s eyes travel downwards, down to her low-cut black lace sports bra that she was wearing underneath. She could see the blush forming on her friend’s face as Monika continued looking at her.

Even though it wasn’t intentional, she wanted to mentally high-five herself for that move, as her friend’s brain seemed to short-circuit. Maybe she’d finally get her win this time, she smirked at that thought.

“Hey, my eyes are up here.” She also couldn’t help teasing the younger woman more.

“Uh… um, I… huh?” Lia saw how Monika removed her eyes from her breasts reluctantly. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to.” That actually made her laugh.

“You didn’t mean to openly stare at my bra?” 

Monika just roller her eyes at her and grumbled under her breath. Lia didn’t know that it was possible for her friend to get even redder. 

She found that it became much easier to tease her friend like this, now that they’ve acknowledged that their relationship could turn into something more. While they were yet to fully talk about whether to actually proceed with it or not, Lia was still glad that Monika finally got the courage to take that chance and ask her out for real. But she still wanted the other woman to be sure about it, so she pretended that she was the one who wasn’t yet ready and gave Monika some time to actually think about it thoroughly. 

She had loved her for most of her life and she wanted nothing more than to finally be with Monika, but she also didn’t want to get her heart broken when her friend realized that this wasn’t actually what she truly wanted. Lia knew that she had more to lose than the other woman, and she was afraid that she’d turn even worse than when they first broke their friendship apart, especially now that matters of the heart are involved.

Finally taking mercy on the younger woman, she changed the subject and focused on playing the game instead.

“Let’s just start the next match, shall we?”

And so, Lia’s plans of getting that revenge finally began. 

She easily took the lead as it seemed that her friend was still slightly dazed and a little distracted, so she took that opportunity to focus and throw some items on her like how Monika did to her earlier. 

“Hey! Not fair, I wasn’t looking.” She heard her friend protest.

“I told you to stop looking at my breasts.” Lia sing-songed.

She just heard grumbling after that, and then silence. 

Lia didn’t know that that silence was actually her friend mischievously plotting something, and she realized that a little too late when her eyes were suddenly looking at the palm of Monika’s hand, blocking her view of the screen.

“Stop cheating!” Lia slapped the hand away and poked her friend’s side as revenge, knowing that that was her most ticklish spot. 

Monika let out a huge squeal and jerked away from the hand that poked her. “Oh, that’s how you want to play?” her friend poked her side two times in return. 

That made her bump into the side of the road and lose her number one spot as someone sped over her. Angry at finally losing her focus, she put the controller down and turned all her attention to her friend, vengeance in her mind. Screw this game.

“You’re gonna pay for that.” 

And then Lia lunged at her friend, both hands tickling Monika’s sides, making her drop the controller to defend herself. The younger woman fell on the couch, wheezing with laughter as Lia took that opportunity to tickle her even more as she kneeled over the woman. Her irritation easily fell away when she saw the unadulterated joy on her friend’s face, even though she was being subjected to Lia’s tickling torture, and she couldn’t help but laugh with her. After a few seconds, Monika seemed to finally have had enough as she tried to hold and pull on Lia’s wrist to get her to stop, but as her friend did that, she lost balance and accidentally fell on top of her friend, her forearms holding her weight and trapped against the younger woman’s chests, and her wrists being held captive by Monika’s hands. Their faces were mere inches apart, both catching their breaths from the unexpected tickling session.

Lia’s hair was falling over Monika’s face like curtains, shielding them from the light from her office. They stayed in that position, both afraid to move and both hypnotized by each other’s eyes. She unconsciously licked her lips and that made Monika’s eyes drop and follow that motion. She felt one of her wrists getting released from her friend’s hold and saw how that hand moved to tuck her hair on her right ear and stayed there, Monika’s thumb slowly caressing her cheek. Lia was getting dizzy at the sudden haze that was filling her mind and she needed to get some air before she did something completely irreparable.

She cleared her throat, breaking the spell that they were unexpectedly in, released herself from Monika’s hands and sat up on her knees. She realized that she was still closely sitting in between the other woman’s legs so she just stood up, completely removing herself from the couch.

“I’m just going to fetch us some coffee downstairs. Stay here.” She immediately added when she saw Monika made a move to stand up, seeming to follow her. 

She took her jacket on the couch, covered herself up again and turned to the door to go outside.

As she got out and closed the door behind her, she leaned on it and released all the breath that she’d been holding since she found herself in that compromising position with her friend. Her ears were filled with the sound of her heart loudly pumping and she felt all her blood rushing to her face. Did that really just happen? 

After a few seconds of catching her breath and her mind replaying the scene earlier over and over, she noticed her mouth forming into a giddy smile and bit her finger, trying to stop herself from shrieking in excitement. She felt like a teenager finally getting her first kiss from her crush, even though nothing of the sort actually happened. 

She calmed herself down before someone saw her in that position, or worse, before Monika decided to follow her and open the very door that she was leaning on.

She stood up straighter and finally walked to the elevator to go downstairs and get them the coffee that she didn’t even need, as what happened earlier gave her enough dopamine that any caffeine in the world wouldn’t be able to give.

——————

“So this is what a broadcasting center looks like. This place is huge.” 

Monika smirked at Hyowon’s amazement at her new workplace, as they walked towards the entrance of the building where they filmed their show.

“I know, and this is not just any broadcasting station, it’s SBN. The place is pretty impressive, I have to admit.” Monika said as she finally led her friend inside and walked through the hallway to her dressing room. When they reached the door, she stopped Hyowon before they went inside.

“Uh, Lia’s dressing room is here.” She pointed to the door across from them. “Do you wanna say hi? You know, for old time’s sake?” Monika didn’t know exactly what Hyowon thought of Lia, but she didn’t remember any bad blood between them, so she would assume that her best friend would want to reconnect with Lia again, since they all shared a history together. 

Hyowon looked at Lia’s door, her smile fading and seemed to be contemplating something, then she turned to Monika and put on a smile again, “No, it’s fine. I don’t want to disturb her or anything. I can just say hi later when you guys start filming.” 

That’s a normal response, she supposed. They probably weren’t as close as she thought they would be, since Hyowon wasn’t clamoring to see their former teammate again.

But Monika was the opposite of Hyowon, as she was itching to go and drop by Lia’s dressing room first before she got started for the day. Immediately opening the door to her room, she put her bags on the couch and told Hyowon that she’d just go out for a bit to talk to one of the staff about something. 

“Sure. I’ll be busy snooping around your room, anyway. Go now, I have things to do.” her best friend said. Monika just laughed at her antics, and went outside.

She didn’t know why she just lied yet again about seeing Lia though, as she was already lying about where she was going almost everyday, telling Hyowon that she’s meeting up with friends, or she’s overseeing the practice of the dancers on her team. Maybe because she hadn’t told her best friend about what’s truly going on with them yet, and it might seem weird that Monika would just ditch her and visit Lia right now when they’re just supposed to be friends. And friends weren’t supposed to be wanting to see each other everyday. Monika just didn’t want to jinx it since technically, nothing was happening yet, and Lia hadn’t fully agreed to taking their relationship to the next level. 

However, Monika felt positive that things were going great for them, and that they’re going in the direction that Monika wanted them to go. For the last two weeks, she spent almost every day just simply in her friend’s presence, visiting Lia and hanging out with her in her studio. She hadn’t craved for another person’s companionship more than she had craved for the older woman. 

Her thoughts unconsciously went to that moment again, where they were playing ‘Mario Kart’ that turned into a tickling session, and things led to the other and Lia ended up on top of Monika on the couch, where time seemed to stop. That’s when she knew that what she felt for her friend was something truly intense because she had never felt that way for someone in a very long time. Lia seemed to have restarted her dormant heart, where it now consistently beat like a drum whenever the other woman was near.

She quickly walked the few steps towards Lia’s door and knocked quietly just in case Hyowon might hear. 

The door opened and her friend’s bare face greeted her. Monika found her even more stunning in that moment, as she could see Lia’s natural glow and beauty. 

“I didn’t bring any coffee this time but I was still hoping if I could come in.” Monika sheepishly said. She would bring her some if she came to work alone, but Hyowon was with her the whole time so she didn’t get a chance to buy it for her.

Lia slightly blocked the entrance and teased her, “Then what would you offer instead?” 

“My wonderful company, what else?” She charmingly said.

“Hmm, I’ll be the judge of that.” Lia finally opened the door wider to let her in.

She didn’t really have any reasons for her visit, she just simply wanted to see Lia before they started. So she just stood there looking at Lia, suddenly getting the urge to hug the other woman. She knew that they just saw each other a few days ago, but she still missed her friend. But she also knew that they weren’t there yet, and even as friends, they weren’t the type to just simply hug each other because they felt like it. 

“So, uh, how are you?” Monika tried to get the conversation going.

“I’m good. Are you okay? Why do you look tense?” She saw the slight worry on her friend’s face, and her heart almost skipped a beat when Lia reached out and squeezed her arm in concern. 

It wasn’t a hug like she wanted, but that small contact was enough to keep her going for the day. She didn’t know that she could be this dependent on another person’s attention and touch. She’s truly a goner for her friend.

“I’m fine. Don’t worry.” Monika assured her.

“If you say so–”

“I just missed you…”

They both said at the same time, Lia’s eyes widening a bit at what she just confessed. Monika found that there was no use hiding what she honestly felt at that moment, she just hoped that Lia wouldn’t feel creeped out by it.

Monika tried to repeat what she said, “I’ve missed you. I don’t care if that sounds needy but I just wanted you to know.” She looked at her friend, trying to convey the sincerity in her eyes, and gave her a small smile.

She watched how that confession rendered Lia speechless, if only for a little while. Then as if an eternity had passed, she finally saw the grin slowly breaking out of her friend’s face and responded, “I’ve missed you, too.” 

Monika let out a small laugh of relief.

——————

They sat at the couch and talked for a few minutes after that confession, both reeling and excitement filled the air. They sat as closely as possible, shoulder to shoulder and talked in a quiet voice, smiling and laughing at the random topics that they were talking about.

“And then this young staff in charge told me that her hours were eight to five because she’s still a student, but next week she’ll be full-time. I only wanted to know the hours of the actual store but she told me her personal schedule instead!” Lia shook with laughter and covered her mouth at Monika’s story. She was about to say something in response when there was a knock on the door. She quickly checked the clock on the wall and saw that it was finally time to get ready for the show. She sighed and reluctantly stood up.

“It’s my team, they’re here to fix this up.” Lia gestured to herself.

Monika stood up as well, “Believe me, there’s nothing there to fix.”

Lia bit her lip at that, suddenly shy at the other woman’s compliment.

“I’ll see you later?” Monika asked.

“Yes, I’ll see you.” They smiled one last time at each other then they finally headed to the door.

Lia opened it and ushered her glam team in, then waved goodbye to Monika when she got out. Her team bowed in greeting to her and to Monika as well. 

As they settled inside, laying out the outfit and makeup kits and hair styling devices, Lia got out of the way and sat on her couch, waiting for her makeup artist to call her up to her vanity table. They were talking among themselves as they prepared.

“Have you seen Miss Monika’s partner? She came with her today. I met her in Miss Monika’s dressing room when I was borrowing a hair curling iron from her hair stylist.” She heard Hana, one of her hair stylists say. That got her attention and she stopped scrolling on her phone to listen in on their conversation. 

What partner? 

“Partner as in…” her makeup artist asked the same question that was on Lia’s mind. 

“Her girlfriend.” 

“Are you sure? What if it’s just her friend? I heard that she has a very close relationship with her business partner. Was that her?” Doubt filled the makeup artist’s voice.

“Yes, it’s Miss Hyowon. She was there in Miss Monika’s dressing room earlier when I went there and she was in the middle of introducing herself to Miss Monika’s team. She said that she’s her partner. One of the stylists said that they didn’t know that Miss Monika was taken, and Miss Hyowon just laughed and didn’t deny it. That means they’re obviously together. I heard they’re living in the same apartment, too.” Hana relayed. 

So Monika brought Hyowon here today and she didn’t care to mention it to her? Well, she didn’t know if that guaranteed an announcement from Monika, but it would be nice if she knew it from the other woman first before she found out from someone else. She tried to calm herself down and convinced herself that it probably wasn’t that big a deal because she knew that Monika and Hyowon are just friends, and she thought that it wasn’t worth mentioning on Monika’s part. 

But still, annoyance built up within her at the assumption that the business partners were actually together, when in actuality, it was her that Monika was pursuing. Unless her friend was actually playing them and she’s hitting two stones with one bird. No, her friend is much too noble to do that. Nonetheless, she’s still human, and she knew that the irritation that she was feeling towards her friend at not mentioning that she brought her best friend to work today (and for what reason?) was valid. And with that, Lia couldn’t help the slightly cutting remark that came out of her.

“Excuse me, don’t you think it’s a little unprofessional to gossip about a fellow colleague?” Lia smiled to mask the anger that was rising up within her. She badly wanted to tell them to shut the hell up and just do their work, but she didn’t want to make things uncomfortable especially if they’re gonna be working with them for the rest of the show. Besides, it wasn’t their fault that someone led them to believe something that wasn’t true.

“Sorry.” they both said. They continued preparing in silence after that, seemingly embarrassed at getting reprimanded by Lia.

She spent almost an hour and a half getting ready, quiet and stewing in anger. Her team worked much faster than usual, as they must’ve felt the change in her demeanor and just did their best to do their job well in silence, afraid that they’ll make her mood worse and set her off completely.

The production staff who always fetched them before the shoot, finally arrived and she stood up from her chair, took a deep breath and went outside. 

She was expecting to see Monika standing in front of her own dressing room just like how she always found her before, walking with her together to the filming set, but instead, what she saw or who she saw, just made her mood ten times worse.

“Lia. Hi.” Hyowon politely said, even though her face looked like she wanted to be anywhere else but there, in front of Lia.

“I need to talk to you.” Lia said in response instead. She was too annoyed to exchange fake pleasantries with the other woman. She knew that Hyowon didn’t like her as well, not only because she hurt and left Monika, but because they both harbored the same feelings towards their friend. It was like there was an unspoken agreement between them that they considered each other as rivals when it came to Monika’s love.

She looked around and when she made sure that they’re finally alone, she started walking towards where they’ll film and made Hyowon follow.

“You know, it’s not proper to spread misinformation about someone. Especially how news travels fast in this industry. You should be careful with what you say and to whom you will say it.” Lia started. She’s going to give Hyowon her two cents whether she likes it or not.

“What are you talking about? Ah, you’re saying that I shouldn’t say that I’m Monika’s partner? Well, that’s not misinformation.”

“I know, but people assumed and took your words at face value. They think you’re actually together.” Lia was already gritting her teeth. She was already getting mad and Hyowon’s smugness wasn’t helping.

“It’s not my fault that people don’t second-guess that we’re in a relationship. Maybe we just looked good together that us being together makes sense.” Hyowon actually had the nerve to smirk at her. Oh, this bi–

“It’s still your responsibility to correct them before it turns into a huge misunderstanding and Monika gets the brunt of it.” Lia tried to reel her anger in before she lost it completely. It wouldn’t look good if Monika found out that she got into a fight with her business partner in the hallway of where they work. 

“I’m sure this misunderstanding is completely harmless. As far as I know, Monika is still single and no one would actually get hurt if this misinformation ever blows up.” Hyowon put air quotes on the word, as if she was mocking Lia at her use of the term earlier. 

She realized that Hyowon was actually clueless about Monika wanting to date her, because she wouldn’t act this superior if she knew that she was already in a losing fight. She smirked at that thought.

“Well, she won’t be single for too long.” Lia slyly provided. 

She saw in the corner of her eye how Hyowon paused for a second before she resumed walking. “What does that mean?” she asked.

She wasn’t able to answer as they finally arrived at the stage, and she saw Monika already sitting at her chair. Her friend waved in her direction when they came into view, and she automatically waved her hand in return, forgetting that she was still slightly annoyed with the other woman. She couldn’t help it as Monika looked gorgeous in her hot pink coat and she looked adorable waving at her as if she just saw her for the first time today. Her irritation almost fell away until Monika spoke.

“Hyowon!” She shouted excitedly.

Lia scoffed and put her hand down in embarrassment. She looked to her side and saw that Hyowon was waving at Monika as well. Turns out that Monika saw the other woman first, and probably didn't notice that Lia was with her.  

She moved to march towards her seat, but not before she heard Hyowon say, full of arrogance and confidence in her tone.

“Yes, she probably won’t be.”

What the hell does that mean? 

Chapter Text

Hyowon took her seat in the area where the production staff gathered, located at the darkened corner of the set, and she watched as they got ready to start and film the show. It was Monika’s idea to have Hyowon accompany her on set, probably because she felt bad that her business partner had become busy these days and she’d always left her at their studio alone, managing and doing most of the administrative tasks on her behalf. 

She actually didn’t mind doing all that extra work especially if it meant that she was being a huge help to Monika, but if her best friend still wanted to make it up to Hyowon by inviting her on set, then who was she to disagree? Plus, it was her first time being on a filming set where there are live audiences and she gets to watch dance performances by elite performers so naturally, she accepted right away.

She was ecstatic and full of excitement up until that point when Monika tried to get her to approach Lia and say hi to her. She almost forgot that their former teammate was part of the cast as well, and in her enthusiasm, it completely slipped her mind that she’d be seeing Lia again for the first time in twelve years. 

Lia, the one who she was always envious of. The one who she silently competed with when it came to Monika’s attention. The one who came back in their lives again. Truth be told, she didn’t like how Monika decided to reconnect and tried to befriend Lia again, as the latter didn’t deserve to be given a second chance, especially if Hyowon was the one who helped Monika get back up and fix her life again when Lia left her for good, left her to become miserable. 

She wasn’t the snarky, arrogant type, but Lia just brought out that side of her when the older woman suddenly reprimanded her for apparently spreading rumors about Hyowon’s relationship with Monika. She couldn’t help but gloat over her, saying how there wasn’t anything wrong with what she said and it was all just harmless fun. 

That confidence almost got shaken though when Lia said something that piqued her curiosity. What does she know? She’s the one who sees Monika every single day, the one whom the woman always tells everything about what went on with her day, whether it was important or not. She’d know if Monika had her eyes set on someone, and she’d be the first one to know it. 

As soon as that doubt crept in, it immediately vanished before it completely took over when Monika enthusiastically called her from the other side of the room, and didn’t pay attention to the woman standing beside her. She saw how that annoyed Lia, and decided to make things even worse for the older woman. She threw back what Lia said to her, wanting to gain the upper hand even more.

She wanted to imply that she and Monika could be something more, but despite her confidence, that was one thing that she’s always been insecure about. As much as she wanted their relationship to become something more, she was afraid that the woman wouldn’t see her that way and completely reject her, which would be the worst heartbreak of all. So she had always stood back and just did her best to become someone that Monika wanted and could always rely on, hoping that it would eventually make the other woman fall in love with her.

Finally, the director gave the cue to start the show, and then she watched as the host entered, greeting the audience, introducing the dance coaches and explaining how the second round performances would work, and then finally got on with the performances, beginning with Bae Yoon Jung’s team. She knew from Monika that their former teammate, Jiyoung aka Baby Sleek, was part of her team, so adjusting her seat to get a better view of the stage, she waited excitedly for her performance. They said that each team would have a group performance, and a solo for each dancer, then they’d pick who they’ll eliminate after the performances. She hoped that Jiyoung would be able to impress her coach enough to get her to the next round.

As they were sitting in an area where they could both clearly see the coaches and the stage, her eyes would glance to Monika’s direction every now and then to check on her and just simply watch her. She liked that she got to see her in an entirely different environment, and she fit like a glove in that panel, as she also looked as sophisticated and beautiful as the other coaches.

Then Hyowon directed her attention to the woman sitting beside her. She may be indifferent to Lia, but she could also admit that the woman looked every bit the celebrity that she is.

The group performance finally started for Bae Yoon Jung’s team and she watched, looking for their former teammate, and saw how she was still wonderful as usual. It was mostly a hip hop routine and it’s obvious that Jiyoung contributed a lot to the choreography, as she could see her former teammate’s color in it. She tried to look at Monika’s reaction and saw that she had an impressed and proud smile on her face. She watched how Monika turned to Lia with that smile still on, and that action made her heart ache a bit. Lia didn’t look at Monika in return, though. That made her raise an eyebrow at that. Their chairs weren’t even that far from each other and it would be impossible not to sense if the other person was trying to engage with you. Is Lia purposefully ignoring Monika? Is she that engrossed with the performance to notice her? She just hoped that Lia wasn’t still treating Monika like trash because she didn’t know what she’d do to the other woman if she was.

It continued for the next performances though, as she watched how Monika continued to try and talk to Lia multiple times, and the other woman just coldly nodded her head and didn’t even try to look at Monika’s direction. She saw the dejected and confused look on Monika’s face every time Lia would ignore her, and she almost marched over to them and gave Lia a piece of her mind. 

Thankfully, all the performances for the first team were finally done, and the production staff told them that they have a fifteen-minute break before the next round of performances.

Good, Hyowon thought, as she stood up and walked immediately to Monika’s direction. 

—————

“Ugh, this cinnamon roll is delicious.” 

Monika snapped her attention back to Hyowon, as she saw her munching on the bread by the small snack bar laid for the cast and staff. They were on their first break for the day and her best friend invited her to eat something as soon as the break started, where she now found herself spacing out, staring longingly at the back of Lia’s chair.

She didn’t know why her friend was suddenly giving her the cold shoulder, when they parted on good terms and they were in a great mood earlier, more than great, even. She was confused, and a little crestfallen that Lia was treating her like how she used to treat Monika back when they were still fighting. 

She tried to remember everything that she did that could lead to Lia acting like that and came up with nothing.

“Aren’t you going to eat? You’ve been standing there like a statue for almost five minutes now. You’re making me look like I’m that hungry for free snacks.” Hyowon said.

That’s when it clicked, as she looked at her best friend, she realized that she forgot to mention that she brought Hyowon with her today. Lia must’ve been a little taken aback to see their former teammate there. But it still didn’t make any sense, surely that wouldn’t suffice as a reason for Lia’s foul mood, right?

She was still racking her brain for any possible reasons for why Lia was freezing her out, because as far as she knew, Lia and Hyowon didn’t exactly have any bad blood between them. Maybe something happened to her after she left her dressing room, maybe someone angered her instead, and it wasn’t actually Monika that she was mad at. 

She’d figure out everything later, or she could just ask her about it when the shoot was done. She just has to think of another excuse to tell Hyowon again, so she could visit Lia later before they went home.

She picked up a caramel bar from the tray, ate it, and smiled at Hyowon, “I’m eating now. You happy?” she lightly chuckled. 

“Very.” 

They continued eating and talked a little about the performances earlier, and what they thought about it, when the director finally told them to get to their places so they could resume filming again. 

As she got to her seat, she tried to chance a look at Lia, and she was disappointed to note that the other woman was still making an effort not to look back at her. She sighed and just took a seat, then waited for the next team to perform.

Boa’s team was next and it went on as usual, they gave their feedback after each performance, and told their opinion on who did best within the team. 

She didn’t try to talk to Lia again for the whole duration of Boa’s team performances, just in case the woman wanted some space and if she just needed time to settle her thoughts. She also didn’t want to make things worse so she just kept her mouth shut. She just hoped that Lia would be ready to talk later.

Both of their teams were scheduled to be filmed tomorrow, so they were going to be done soon after this. The host said some spiels to conclude today’s shoot, then they heard the director say “Cut!” that marked the end of the shoot for the day. 

She immediately turned to Lia to ask her if they could talk but she was surprised when the other woman was already on her feet and was now walking towards the exit, back turned to Monika. Lia didn’t even acknowledge nor say goodbye to her. Shoot, she thought, her friend may or may have been actually mad at her. But what did she do? 

Monika’s plans to talk to her in Lia’s dressing room failed as well, as Hyowon came up to her and told her that they should go eat out for dinner. Her best friend took her hand hurriedly and told her that she should get dressed immediately and head straight to a nearby restaurant before it becomes too full.

And now, she found herself sitting at a crowded restaurant with Hyowon, the latter overjoyed that they still caught a table before they were too late. 

“How did you find your first time at a filming set?” Monika asked Hyowon, she realized that she should take a break from thinking about Lia first and focus on her best friend. She invited her today because she felt too bad about lying to her and that she was kind of neglecting her because she was too busy spending all her time with Lia. She owed it to the other woman to give her her undivided attention even for just one dinner.

She’d worry about Lia later.

—————

The next day of filming came, and Monika arrived with two iced coffees in hand, one for her and the other for Lia. Hyowon wasn’t with her this time so she was easily able to buy the other woman her drink without someone questioning her.

She knocked on the other woman’s door, opting to go there first before she went to her own dressing room, as she couldn’t wait to get to the bottom of Lia’s ire and just properly talk to her. She didn’t like that they left things just like that yesterday, and that thought caused her to ruin her sleep. She spent all night thinking what she did wrong that suddenly made Lia mad at her. 

She didn’t get a response, so she tried knocking again. Was Lia not there yet? Monika wondered because no one was answering from the other side of the door. She could see that the light was already open inside so she knew that someone was already there. She tried to turn the door handle but to her disappointment, she found it locked. Her friend seemed determined to avoid her as much as possible even today. She sighed as she left it alone for now, and went to her dressing room, disheartened.

She placed the cups of coffees on the desk, not in the mood to drink them anymore, and sat in front of her vanity table where she spaced out until her glam team arrived to get her ready for today’s shoot.

As she finished getting dressed up, she immediately went outside and waited for Lia to get out of her own dressing room, and use that opportunity to talk to her as they walked towards the stage like how they usually do. But to her dismay, she saw that the lights on her dressing room were already turned off, meaning that Lia wasn’t there anymore. She was almost impressed that her friend is clearly making an effort for them to not get a chance to talk privately. 

She had no choice but to walk alone and just go straight to the set. As much as she tried to understand whatever her friend is going through, she couldn’t avoid getting a little frustrated at her friend’s actions. Seriously, what is Lia’s deal?

When she got to the studio, her eyes immediately searched for Lia, and their eyes briefly met for a second, until the other woman broke the contact and looked the other way, with no acknowledgement or greeting. 

Fine, she’ll let her be like this, but after the show was done for today, she’d follow her straight to her dressing room and just get this over with. If she was going to be mad at her, then Lia should at least tell her the reason so Monika could properly apologize.

She walked to her seat, left Lia alone (for now) and just waited for the show to start. 

The host introduced the next team to perform today, and that got her to snap her attention as it was now her team that would perform next. She cleared her head of all thoughts of the woman beside her, and got her game face on and prepared herself to fully analyze each of her dancers' performances. She knew that she’d have to make a highly difficult decision later so she had to make sure that she’d properly watch them.

The group performance was outstanding, as she got to see each dancer clearly, and they were able to shine equally. Even though they had different dancing styles, their chemistry still showed and they were able to create a harmonious performance. 

Jihye, who goes by Buckey in the show, got introduced later as she started the round of solo performances. She watched how powerful and energetic each of her moves were, and Monika was proud to see her get into her element, and she was happy that she was giving a performance worthy to get her to the next round. She felt relieved because she would definitely feel bad if her former teammate didn’t deliver a great performance and she’d have to eliminate her because of it.

Monika was even surprised at the amount of techniques that Jihye was showing in her performance, something that she didn’t know that her friend was able to do before. 

By the end of her performance, Jihye attempted one last tumble, but to Monika and everyone’s shock, the dancer didn’t get to properly land on her feet as she watched how one of her wrists gave out and she fell hard on the ground. Her friend probably over exhausted herself with the amount of tricks and powerful moves she’d included in her dance. Monika stood up, a loud gasp escaping her.

“Wait! Stop the music! She needs help right now.” Monika told one of the production staff calmly, but with conviction. She didn’t care that this could affect Jihye’s overall performance, she cared more about her former teammate’s health and the best course of action is to halt the filming and get her some help first. 

She stepped out from her chair and went to Jihye, as she tried to check on her. She saw how the dancer looked distressed and was crying in pain, and her heart ached for her. She knew that she wanted to give her all in this dance, and she knew how disappointed she felt at having not properly finished what she prepared. Monika tried to assure her and at least alleviate the heavy feeling her teammate was probably feeling at that moment.

“Hey, you’ll be fine, okay. Your health and your body are your priority. Don’t think about the competition for now, and just focus on getting yourself better.” She said to Jihye.

“I know. I just hate that all my hard work had all gone to waste.” Jihye sniffed, tears still falling down her face. She truly felt bad for her friend.

“It hadn’t. You were still able to show how formidable of a dancer you are. It was still a highly impressive performance, don’t worry.” Monika genuinely complimented her friend. 

“Thank you, Monika.” Jihye just gave her a sad smile.

She then turned to the medics that responded right away, and one of them said that Jihye needed to go to the hospital, as it was possible that she fractured her wrist. Shit, Monika thought, that was more serious than she thought it would be. 

Jihye just looked resigned to her fate, and sadly nodded, before she stood up and let the medics help her get down from the stage and towards the exit to go to the hospital. She sighed and went back to her seat as well.

When she got back to her chair, distracted as she was still thinking of her poor teammate, she didn’t notice that Lia was looking at her in concern, and how the other woman hesitantly opened her mouth to say something, but it got cut off when one of the staff came to Monika to relay to her that they need to let Jihye go if it really was a broken wrist, as those things take time to heal. Monika just nodded and agreed, even though it broke her heart that they’ll cut her friend off from the competition. 

They proceeded with the next performances a few minutes after that as if nothing happened, and Monika just watched in a daze. She didn’t really need to pay attention that much since the last two contestants from her team were already set to go to the next round, as Jihye was already automatically eliminated. 

They went on a break after that, and Monika, not in a mood to deal with anything or anyone at that moment, just excused herself and locked herself in her dressing room, where she silently cried to herself, her whole being feeling bad for her friend. She sat on her couch, trying to control her tears as they were only given a few minutes to take a break. 

The alarm that she set earlier on her phone rang, signifying that it was time to go back. She stood up and went to her vanity to wipe the remaining tears and put a little powder on her slightly red-rimmed eyes. After a few exhales, she turned to the door and went back to set.

She tried to ignore the other judges’ inquiring looks, including Lia’s and just sat and stared at the stage ahead with unseeing eyes. She almost jumped when Boa spoke to her.

“Are you okay? Do you need to take a few more minutes?” Boa seemed to be genuinely worried about her. She smiled at how thoughtful she was.

“No, it’s fine. I’m okay now. Thank you, though.” Monika said.

Boa nodded and smiled at her, then they both continued waiting for the other team to start, as the host got prepared to take the stage again to introduce the next dancers.

Lia’s group performance started and she saw that it was a little different than her group, but it was still equally remarkable. It was feminine and sexy, but also powerful and vibrant. It fit the dancers on Lia’s team well, if she must say so herself. Her eyes keep straying to Eunji, though, and she could definitely see what the other woman saw in her when she wanted to get her on her team so badly. Her elegance and long arms and legs stood out to her that she was all that she could see in that group performance. She glanced at Lia to see her reaction, and saw that she was looking at them in awe, and seemed to be liking it well.

The solo performance came next, and the first in their lineup was none other than Eunji. She looked at Lia again, and saw that the other woman was already looking at Monika as well, and she had a smirk on her face, as if teasing her about her previous behavior that led to them fighting a few weeks ago. She couldn’t believe that the first time Lia looked at her all day was because she wanted to silently tease her about that. Monika rolled her eyes at her, and just looked towards the stage. She was still slightly exasperated with the other woman and she was still saddened about Jihye’s departure that she didn’t have the energy to properly respond to that. 

Eunji started dancing to a Black Pink song, and it was not her usual femme and heels choreo. It was dynamic and full of popping moves that she was able to do incredibly well. She raised her eyebrows in approval, quick to admit that the contestant really is an excellent and a versatile dancer. 

Her eyes unconsciously moved to Lia’s direction again, and the jealousy that she thought she had under control, roared its ugly head when she watched how Lia’s eyes were glued to the contestant as she sat forward, a full grin on her face. Her friend looked to be enjoying it a little too much. She removed her eyes from Lia and just focused on the dancer performing, as all sorts of negative emotions clamored to take its place in her mind again.

The next two contestants followed soon after that, and they all watched how both of them gave out impressive performances as well. Lia would definitely have a hard time picking who she would have to eliminate, because she didn’t know who she’d pick if she was in her friend’s position. But if she would let her immature thoughts win, she knew full well who she’d want to be eliminated. She quickly shook her head and reprimanded herself for her unprofessionalism, even if it was just a simple thought. Monika wouldn’t actually mind if she didn’t get eliminated, because she knew in herself that the dancer did deserve to go to the next round.

As the host wrapped up for the day, Monika remembered how she planned to follow Lia to her dressing room before she got there first and locked Monika out again. Staying alert and watching Lia in the corner of her eye, as soon as the director started saying cut, she jumped up in her seat before Lia did, making the other woman look at her in surprise. 

“Lead the way.” Monika said to Lia, and gestured towards the exit, determined to not let the other woman out of her sight. 

Lia just gave her an incredulous look, “Lead the way to what?” her friend said, confused.

“Lia, cut the crap. We need to talk.” She smilingly said despite her words, conscious of the people who might be looking at them.

Lia gave her a guarded look, “We have nothing to talk about.” her friend said, still annoyingly stubborn.

But Monika had had enough of her attitude, as she walked to the woman’s seat, took her hand gently and guided her to stand up. She’d drag her friend if that’s what it would take to get her to talk to her properly. She saw how that alarmed Lia, and how she looked around, probably afraid that people might get the wrong idea.

“What are you doing?” Lia asked in a hushed tone, as they stood face to face.

“Would you rather I take your hand and drag you out of here forcefully and start a rumor that we’re fighting right in front of a live audience?” Monika quietly said, a smile was still plastered on her face, “or would you rather that I take your hand like this,” Monika shook their conjoined hands, “and you’d willingly follow me out, a smile on your face, walking with me hand in hand? What kind of rumor do you want to start?” She raised an eyebrow at her friend and waited for an answer.

Lia just sputtered at her, then as she realized that she had already lost that battle, her friend said, resigned, “Why do I feel like I’m being held hostage?”

“Because you are.” Monika cheekily said, despite her frustration.

They looked at each other, unmoving, but when Monika saw a flash go off, and looked at the source, they saw that a few audience members were already taking a picture of the scene before them. She turned to Lia again and pulled on her slightly, “Let’s go, we’re drawing attention.”

“I wonder why.” Monika heard the sarcasm in Lia’s voice. She ignored her friend and proceeded to lead her towards the exit, still holding her hand just in case Lia suddenly gets an idea to escape from her. She didn’t know how but Monika would never put it past Lia to actually think about escaping, especially if she was still keen on ignoring her even after the shoot ended.

When they got to the hallway and fewer people were around, Monika slowed down her pace and walked side by side with Lia. She realized that she was still holding her friend’s hand, and how both of them weren’t saying anything about it nor trying to drop the other’s hand. She could feel the slight irritation she was feeling towards her friend abating down, as Monika could only focus on the warm hand that was encased in her own. She found that holding Lia’s hand was something that she’d want to be doing for as much as she can, and for as long as she can. 

As they reached their dressing rooms, Monika didn’t waste any time guiding her friend towards Lia’s. She waited for her friend to unlock the door with her free hand, as the other was still holding hers. 

When they got inside, Lia reluctantly released her hand from Monika’s hold and proceeded to go and sit at her couch. 

Lia sighed and said, “Come here and sit.”

Monika immediately followed and sat beside her friend, leaving out some space between them, as she could still feel the tension rolling out of Lia. 

After a few seconds of just sitting there, she finally turned to her friend and asked, “Why are you suddenly ignoring me? Did I do something bad? Did I anger you in some way?” Monika just wanted to clear the air between them, as she couldn’t take being at odds with the other woman anymore. 

She was met with silence, and saw how Lia just looked ahead, her brow furrowed as if thinking whether to voice out what she’s feeling or not. Monika reached out and gently turned her friend’s head towards her, her thumb on Lia’s chin. She asked again, as softly as possible, “Lia, please tell me what’s wrong.” She almost pleaded with the other woman.

That seemed to get to Lia as she finally spoke and answered Monika, fury slowly setting on her friend’s face, “Why didn’t you tell me about Hyowon yesterday? I had to find that out through my stylists. And you want to know how? They were talking about how you brought your girlfriend with you. I know it isn’t true, obviously, but the fact that you also share an apartment together just fueled that misunderstanding even more. No one would really doubt that you and Hyowon aren’t just business partners.” 

Monika was taken by surprise by the sudden rant and left her speechless. Where did those ridiculous rumors even come from? And is Lia angry because someone mistook her and Hyowon as a couple? That wasn’t even her fault! She didn’t even know people were assuming that.

And that’s when Monika realized that Lia’s behavior suddenly seemed familiar, as she’s seen the same irrational behavior and the same annoyance over the thought of her with another woman before. She’d seen that same behavior on herself, back when she got jealous over Lia’s closeness with Eunji. She couldn’t help the laugh that came out of her at that.

Lia Kim was jealous.

“What’s so funny?” Monika laughed even more at the stupefied face of the other woman.

“Sorry, sorry. It’s just… you got mad at me and didn’t talk to me for almost a week when I got jealous over Eunji. And now you’re doing the same thing.” Monika explained to Lia as she tried to hold back a laugh.

“This is different.” Aww, she’s still grumpy. 

“Okay, how so?” 

“Because you and Hyowon could actually have a chance.” That’s ridiculous, Monika thought.

“And you and Eunji don’t?” She retorted back.

“No. Because she’s not the one who I got my mind set on. She’s not the one who I want to be near me, the one I want to touch,” Lia’s voice suddenly dropped, and she saw her moving closer, “to hug, to hold hands with, to… kiss...” her friend’s voice got softer and huskier as she said those words. Monika’s heart raced as she waited for Lia to continue, “She’s not the one that I want.”

“Then who is?” Monika said, breathless. Is this really happening? 

“You.” 

Monika saw how dark Lia’s eyes had become and how she licked her lips, as if looking at Monika suddenly made her hungry, and Lia wanted to have a taste. Her heart was hammering in her chest as they both moved forward, their faces slowly inching closer, and she could feel the other woman’s breath on her own mouth. Monika’s eyes dropped down to Lia’s lips, and that action seemed to spur the other woman to move, as Lia finally closed the gap between their lips, and kissed Monika. She didn’t dare to move nor breathe, afraid that any sudden movement would break the spell they’re in. But Lia had other plans of her own, as she felt the other woman’s hands on the back of her head and her shoulder, pulled her closer, and moved to straddle Monika. That finally got her to snap herself out of it and clenched her eyes shut, and slowly put her hands on Lia’s hips to pull her in as well. 

Lia tasted like how Monika imagined her to be, sweet and intoxicating, something that left her wanting for more. Her mouth was hot and inviting, that Monika couldn’t stop devouring her even if she wanted to. She almost lost her mind when the other woman’s tongue swiped on her lips and put it inside as Monika opened her mouth. It was steamy and a little wet, and it’s everything Monika ever wanted it to be. 

As she got heady with Lia’s kiss, she hadn’t even realized that she was now on her back and laying down on Lia’s couch, and her friend was now on top of her. The other woman was kissing her like she was starving and Monika’s mouth was her food, and Monika couldn’t help but satisfy her.

She could already feel herself getting heated and her mind getting dizzy as Lia’s hands were now roaming on her sides and her thumb almost caressed her breast. That action made her bite the other woman’s lower lip and Lia let out a moan in return. Shit, if they didn’t stop right now, who knew how things would end up? 

With much difficulty, Monika tried to gently push Lia off of her and slightly break their kiss. She saw how gloriously flushed her friend looked, and that sight just made her even more reluctant to stop what they were doing.

“Wait… we need… to stop.” Monika said in between kisses.

Lia just grumbled in return, and continued kissing her. Why is this so hard?

Monika tried to push her off again and successfully got her to stop kissing her lips. But Lia just lowered her head again and sucked on Monika’s neck.

“Ahhh… Lia… Lia, stop!” She put a little force in that push, and Monika slid underneath her and finally sat up. Lia adorably pouted, and she looked like someone took away her favorite toy. 

“Why? We both wanted this, so why are you denying yourself?” Lia folded her arms on her chest. 

“Because we can’t be having our first time on your dressing room couch!” Did Monika misread the situation, and Lia just wanted her physically? That’s why she badly wanted to do this right here, right now? That made her heart clench a little.

“I… you’re right.” Lia sighed as she agreed.

But that thought still weighed on her mind, and she wouldn’t be able to move on from it unless she cleared it with the other woman. So, with a deep sigh of her own, she asked, “What exactly do you want from me?” 

“What do you mean?” Her friend asked, confused.

“Did you want to continue?” 

Lia gave it a second before she responded, “Actually, no. As much as it pains me, I do agree that we should take it slow. I mean, you haven’t even taken me on a real date yet.” Lia smirked at her. Monika felt relieved at that, as all her worries from earlier all but vanished from her mind. She was glad that Lia was on the same page with her.

“Wait, so is that a yes? You’re finally agreeing on a date with me?” Monika couldn’t believe that they’re officially taking that next step. Although that kiss would say otherwise, she still thought that a date would’ve made it more official. 

Lia just chuckled and fondly shook her head at her, “Did you forget that I just had my tongue down your throat a few minutes ago? Yes, you idiot. You can take me on a date.”

Chapter Text

“Ah… Lia…”

Lia heard a sound of a moan under her as she sucked on a delicate spot on Monika's neck, the latter’s hand on the back of Lia’s head, encouraging her. Lia’s hands that was resting on Monika’s hips traveled to the fly of the woman’s pants, expertly unbuttoned it and dragged the zipper down. She let Monika lift herself up so she could take off her pants, leaving her with only her lace panties and her shirt. Lia licked her lips at the glorious sight below her, and immediately resumed kissing her on her neck. Then her lips started making its way down to the woman’s collarbone, to her chest, and on the swell of her breast. She then pulled Monika up to get her to take off her top as well. 

Then she felt Monika’s hand on the back of her neck, letting herself be pulled on top of the younger woman, as she laid down and they continued making out. It was getting steamy, both wanting for more as they hungrily captured each other’s mouth. 

She also couldn’t resist the almost bare body below her, as her hands roamed all over Monika’s skin, the woman letting out a breathy moan. Then as if the other woman had had enough, Monika took Lia’s hand and guided it a little roughly on the place that begged to be touched.

“Are you sure?” Lia said, breathless as she put her hand on top of Monika’s underwear, still not daring to move.

“…yes. Lia, please… Take me.”

And just as Lia was about to finally put her hand inside, the blaring sound of an alarm blasted through the room. 

Then she was waking up to her darkened bedroom, full of sweat and still out of breath from the dream she just had. She could feel the slight aching between her legs and how sticky her underwear was. She took a deep breath, got out of her blankets as she was already getting too warm, and reached for the source of the sound that ruined the most wonderful dream that she was having.

“Fuck.” Was all that Lia said as she stopped the alarm on her phone.

Her mind supplied the scenario of where they continued that make out session in her dressing room last night instead of controlling and stopping themselves before they’d completely done it. She was starting to slightly regret that decision when all she could think about was that mouth and that warm body underneath her, and how she just wanted to take Monika right there and then. She’s wanted and yearned for the other woman for more than a decade now that them finally doing it felt a little overdue. 

But not for Monika though, since Lia knew that everything was still new and fresh for the other woman, and she only probably started feeling something more for Lia when they reconnected again. So even though it pained her that they were still taking things slow, she knew that it would be the best course of action so Monika wouldn’t feel too overwhelmed and they could move at a pace that Monika was comfortable with. 

Her mind was still in a daze when she stepped in the shower, feeling like she was dreaming as she thought about the events that unfolded yesterday. She’d always thought that getting to kiss the other woman would only occur in her wildest dreams, but now, not only does she get to kiss her, but she’d be exclusively dating the other woman as well. Everything was turning out well for them so far, and she just hoped that it’d continue being like that, because she couldn’t imagine losing the other woman now that she finally knew what it’s like to be in her arms. 

They’re set to go to the station today, as they were scheduled to film the elimination episode for each team. Lia dreaded this day because she didn’t really like letting one of her contestants go. They were all equally amazing and talented that it took her almost all night last night to completely analyze each performance, reviewing the video clips from that day that was sent to her by the production team, finally making a decision by the end of it. It wasn’t easy, but she knew that she still made the right choice. 

When she finally arrived at the broadcasting station, she entered their designated building and walked to her dressing room. Excitement filled her at the thought of seeing the other woman and the thought of possibly getting to kiss her again, hastening her pace to get to her destination. 

She wasn’t disappointed when she got there, and saw Monika already waiting for her, looking so effortlessly cool. The younger woman was leaning on the wall by her door, coffee takeouts on one hand and the other scrolling through her phone. She was wearing an oversized jacket and baggy pants and Lia thought how handsome she looked right there. She grinned at the sight, feeling lucky that this sweet and gorgeous woman was now hers . Well, she was on her way to be, at least.

The dream from this morning suddenly replayed through her mind as she looked at Monika, and as if a switch was turned on, when she finally got near enough and Monika already noticed her, her face lighting up when their eyes met, Lia suddenly grabbed the woman’s hand. She unlocked her door then pushed Monika against it as they got inside. She didn’t waste any time attacking the younger woman’s mouth and cradled her head to keep her close. 

“Good morning.” Lia said, breaking the kiss for one second then resumed with what she was doing, not waiting for Monika to answer.

It was a slow and sensual kiss, the type of kiss that made Lia feel the butterflies in her stomach. 

She felt the other woman pull her in as well, her free hand moving up and down on Lia’s side, gently caressing her hip. They stayed like that for almost five minutes, until the need for air came up and their lips finally separated.

“Hi.” Monika said in greeting. 

Lia almost giggled at the softness of it all, but settled for a small smile instead, not wanting to look like a lovesick fool in front of Monika.

“Hi. Let’s sit?” Lia took Monika’s hand and guided her towards the couch.

She waited for Monika to settle the coffees down on the table then finally sat together, the other woman’s arm automatically settling on Lia’s shoulders, and Lia leaning down her head on her. It felt so cozy and warm that Lia couldn’t help closing her eyes, feeling safe in Monika’s arms.

The last thing she remembered before she dozed off was the feeling of Monika gently kissing her head as she let her sleep, and she just sat there in silence while she watched her team’s performances on mute on her phone. She slept with a smile on her face at how widely comfortable this all was. She could definitely get used to this.

A few minutes later, she woke up to Monika tapping her lightly and heard someone knocking at the door. It was probably her glam team as she looked at the time and saw that it was time to get ready. Refusing to get up from the warm body beside her, she whined and just buried her face deeper into Monika’s neck. Her senses were filled with the other woman’s floral scent as she sniffed her greedily, already getting addicted to Monika’s smell. She couldn’t help but slip out her tongue and sampled a taste of her friend’s skin. She felt how Monika’s breathing suddenly became erratic, and the hand that was on her arm squeezed her faintly. As she licked her neck, she then proceeded to bite and suck the skin, as she couldn’t get enough of the addicting taste of the younger woman. 

“Tell them to wait.” Lia commanded in a hushed tone, as she continued sucking on that soft skin.

“Ah…” Monika said, breathless, then clearing her throat, she tried to say in a much louder and stable voice, “We’ll be out in a minute!”

Lia smiled against the woman’s neck and bit and sucked on another spot, a little harder than before.

“Don’t leave a mark!” Monika said in a quiet, hurried voice.

“Just pick something that’ll cover this up. You’ll be fine.” Lia said as she peppered some kisses on the very visible mark that she left. It was small, but she could clearly see a red-purple dot marring her friend’s neck. She smirked at her work, feeling proud that it was her who gets to do this kind of stuff to the other woman. Lia sat up and finally released herself from the woman’s hold. She sighed as she didn’t really want to part with the other woman yet. 

Monika looked at her, a fond smile on her face, “Don’t worry, I’ll see you in less than two hours. Can we walk together later?” 

“I’d love to.” 

—————

Lia got out of her dressing room, fully expecting for Monika to be waiting for her, and she wasn’t disappointed when the stunning woman wearing a black turtleneck under a long leather coat was already leaning across the wall from her, hands in both her pockets. Lia almost swooned right there and then at how striking the woman was.

She smiled and walked over to her, as Lia saw how Monika was taking her in, looking at her appreciatively as well. She wore a simple matching coat and a short skirt paired with thigh high boots, and Lia watched Monika’s eyes linger on her body. 

“You look beautiful, as always.” Lia heard Monika say in greeting. She smiled at her and gestured her head to get them going.

“Thank you. I see you’ve hidden the mark well.” She smirked as she stared at the woman’s turtleneck.

“Yeah, well, thank God my stylist had this with him. Makeup wouldn’t be able to hide it, and a skin-toned tape would look weird.”

Lia just chuckled and continued walking.

“Have you already thought about who you’re going to pick later?” Monika asked a few seconds later.

“Yes. Don’t expect me to tell you, though. No spoilers, even for you.” Lia teased the other woman. 

“Bummer, I was just about to ask that.” Monika pouted, seeming to feign slight offense.

“I’m sorry about Jihye, by the way.”  Lia realized that she hadn’t really said anything about that yet, and tried to offer some comfort to the other woman. “I know how much it affected you. And I want you to know that I would’ve followed you during that break yesterday, if only I wasn’t stupid enough to get over myself. I should’ve been there for you and for that, I’m truly sorry.”

Monika gave her a sad smile, probably remembering the accident that happened yesterday.

“It’s fine. I just felt really bad for her. I knew how much she wanted to stay in this competition.”

“How is she?” Lia asked.

“She’s okay now. She had surgery yesterday and her doctor told her to rest for a few weeks. It sucks that she won’t be able to dance for a while, but at least it’s nothing too serious.”

“That’s good to hear.” 

As they reached the set, they headed straight to their chairs and let the staff fix up their microphones under their clothes, and waited patiently for the show to start. 

Lia was a little nervous today, and now that she’s sitting there, the reality of having to let go of one of her contestants hit her like a truck. The tension must’ve shown on her face as she felt Monika reach out to her, and squeezed her hand. The other woman smiled at her reassuringly, stroking her thumb on Lia’s hand. No words were needed as that simple action provided all the comfort that she needed, and she felt herself slowly relax. 

Monika squeezed her hand one last time then released it as the woman straightened in her seat. 

A few minutes later, the director finally gave the signal to start the show and everything went on as usual. Today’s filming schedule was pretty short, as they were only gonna film the elimination for each team, and some instructions for the next round.

Before the host proceeded with the elimination, he announced that Monika’s team wouldn’t need to choose today, as one member unfortunately got injured and they automatically dropped out of the show. She looked towards Monika at that, and saw the sadness in the woman’s eyes. She wanted to provide her comfort right there and give her a hug, if only the cameras weren’t rolling.

She then watched and waited for her turn, as each coach except for Monika eliminated each member of their team. She was glad that their other former teammate got to proceed to the next round, so today wasn’t a total loss. She waited until the host called her team up, and she prepared herself for the worst. 

As the time came for her to finally pick one contestant from her team to eliminate, she took the microphone, and said,

“The person that would sadly not proceed with the next round is…” Lia took one last look at the dancers, and with a nod, she went with her choice.

“I’m sorry, it’s Harimu.”

The audience aww-ed at that, making their sadness known at the contestant’s elimination. She, too, didn’t like that she had to let her go, as she really was an outstanding instructor at her studio, and she really liked the fun and vibrant energy that she brought to the team.

But if she were to consider the others’ performance, she fell ahead in terms of experience and it showed in her performance, as Lia felt that it was the weakest one out of the three. Don’t get her wrong, they were all still able to show a powerful performance and if it was up to Lia, she wouldn’t eliminate one of them. Unfortunately, it’s still a survival show and she ultimately had to make the hardest decision of all. 

She listened to Harimu’s goodbye speech, and she commended how mature and how much of a good sport she was, as she thanked her and the show for the opportunity and the experience and the friends she made along the way. She ended her speech on a good note and Lia couldn’t be more proud.

As the host wrapped up, every contestant went up the stage to say goodbye to the eliminated dancers. Lia saw how almost everyone was crying, hugging and also congratulating each other. She saw how the other coaches also stood up and went to the stage to go to the contestants, and Lia followed suit. She saw how Monika waited for her though, and she smiled at her as they went up together. 

They quickly separated as they got to the contestants, each going to their respective teams. Lia saw how Eunji, Leejung and Harimu were in a three-way hug, and as soon as they saw their coach, they reached out for her and Lia let them pull her in and included her in the group hug.

When they separated, Lia immediately turned to Harimu, as she felt sorry for what she did to her.

“No matter what happened today, I just want to let you know how amazing you are, and I’m proud of you.” Lia said to Harimu, as she squeezed the woman’s shoulder.

“Thank you, coach. That means a lot.” 

“Just keep doing what you’ve been doing so far and I know that you’ll achieve greater things. I’ll be cheering and rooting for you.” 

“Aww, stop, coach. You’re actually going to make me cry even more.” She laughed at how Harimu really cried at that, and she just pulled her in for another hug. She could also feel her own tears coming up as well, even as she chuckled. 

After a few seconds of soothing the young woman, she finally pulled away, happy to note that Harimu looked a little better as her tears subsided. 

She felt another hand coming up to her arm and turned to see Eunji trying to get Lia’s attention. That hand stayed on her arm as the blonde woman talked.

“Hey, I just wanted to say thank you, for giving me another chance.” Eunji told Lia, as the other woman stroked her arm, expressing her gratitude. 

She already knew before she even looked, that Monika, who was in a conversation with Bada and Aiki, was already looking their way, shooting daggers at Eunji’s back. She tried to ignore Monika and focused on her conversation with Eunji, as she didn’t want to look rude in front of the contestant. 

“Thank you, for being a wonderful dancer and exceeding my expectations every time you get on this stage. You deserved that spot. No need to thank me.” Lia smiled at the contestant, sincerity in her voice. 

That seemed to make Eunji really happy as she reached with the other hand that wasn’t already on her arm, and pulled her in for a hug. She blamed Monika for making her conscious of Eunji’s actions as she almost backed away from that, and now she only stood there, awkward and unmoving, as she let herself be hugged by the contestant. She realized that they’re still in front of a live audience, so she let her hands come up and hugged Eunji back, not wanting the people to know that she acted weird towards the dancer.

It only lasted for a second though when she realized that Monika was now at her side, her hand landing almost a little forcefully on her shoulder as she tried to make them break apart. It was all very discreet that no one but Lia would know what Monika was actually doing, and it only looked like she was tapping her shoulder to get her attention. 

She saw how Eunji’s eyes widened a little bit in surprise, and she remembered that time in that resort when she got a little taste of Monika’s ire. That seemed to make a lasting impression on the woman as she now looked a little scared of Monika’s presence.

“I’m sorry, but I really need to talk to your coach. May I borrow her for a second?” Lia almost laughed at the exaggerated sweetness in Monika's voice. She knew damn well what the other woman was truly feeling inside.

“Uh, yes, of course. We’re done anyway.” She heard Eunji stutter. Oh, the poor woman.

“Good.” Monika said, then turned to Lia, took her hand again as she did yesterday, and pulled on it, as if to say that they needed to go right now. She noticed how Eunji’s eyes immediately went to their conjoined hands, and raised her eyebrow at the sight, but thankfully said nothing about it. 

“I’ll see you later.” She tried to say to Eunji as she let herself be dragged yet again by Monika.

They headed towards the exit and to the winding hallway, their paces much faster than usual, and Lia was almost jogging just so she could keep up with Monika.

She had to admit that it thrilled Lia to see Monika getting worked up like this, and she found it hot how the other woman knew what she wanted and didn't think twice to act on it. She knew Monika would feel something again when Eunji approached her, she just didn’t know that it would only be a split second of them hugging for Monika to take action and take her away right there and then. 

As they reached their dressing rooms, Monika didn’t hesitate to lead them to Lia’s room and got her to unlock it right away. She didn’t know why she was also hurrying to get the door open but as soon as she opened it, she got her answer immediately. 

She knew Monika would do this.

This, meaning, her friend would push her against the door, much like she did to Monika that morning, but a little harder than when she did it. She didn’t get a chance to breathe when Monika attacked her mouth with her lips, and gave her a passionate open-mouthed kiss. She couldn’t help but moan at Monika’s enthusiasm, and she almost melted when the other woman’s hands went to her face and gently held her cheeks as she continued kissing Lia. She could feel how different Monika’s kisses were this time, intense and so full of desire. Lia put her hands on the woman’s hips and pulled her closer as she gave back as much, and matched Monika’s eagerness.

She felt the woman’s tongue trying to gain access to her mouth, and she didn’t hesitate to open them and let Monika plunge her tongue inside. She almost cried in anticipation when their tongues met, and the other woman sucked on it. 

As if her mind wasn’t overwhelmed enough, she felt Monika’s hands coming down to the back of her legs, urging them to lift it up. She complied and jumped, her heart filled with excitement as Monika supported her weight and let herself be carried by the woman’s strong arms, as Lia winded her legs on her friend’s waist and carried her to where the sofa was. She felt herself being gently laid down by Monika, their lips disconnecting for a second to adjust their positions and quickly resumed as the woman got settled on top of her, and Lia was comfortably lying down. The kisses were still full of desire, as if they’re cravings were still not fully satisfied, and they’re still hungry for more. 

“You know… if you’re going to be… like this everytime I talk… to Eunji… then I probably… should do it… more often.” Lia had a hard time saying the words out as Monika’s lips were like a magnet to her own lips.

Monika just let out a grumble, and bit Lia’s lip, hard.

“Ow!” She pouted and slightly broke the kiss. Monika immediately soothed the area with her tongue and pecked her softly, as if apologizing. 

“I’m not that insecure.” Monika hovered over her as she spoke, taking a break from the kiss, “I just don’t like it when people put their hands on what’s mine.”

That shouldn't have turned Lia on as much, but the way Monika said it, full of conviction and the way she looked a little mad, it definitely made her weak in the knees. 

“How presumptuous of you.” Lia tried to sound menacing, but her voice betrayed her, and it just came out breathless and shaky. 

She was almost embarrassed at how Monika just chuckled at that, but it completely went away when the woman then kissed her on the cheek sweetly, and the shame was replaced with love and warmth. She then let herself be pulled up, and they both sat up on the couch.

“I didn’t want to assume, but this thing between us, I know we’re still figuring it out and taking it slow, but I hope that this is something exclusive. Because I don’t like sharing.” Monika said as she reached out, wiping the lipstick that smudged around Lia’s lips. She may or may not have swooned at the action.

“Well, your assumption is correct. And luckily for you, I don’t like sharing either.”

“Good.” then Monika asked, “Do you have any plans after this?”

“No, I don’t. Why?”

“Do you want to get dinner with me? It’s just something casual. I promise that this isn't the date that I planned for you yet.” 

“Sure. I’ll go and change out of this first.” Lia stood up and went to the middle of the room as she started taking her jewelry off and the blazer that she had on, when she realized that Monika wasn’t moving, and was watching her intensely. 

“Enjoying the show?” Lia looked at her through the mirror and smirked, teasing the woman.

That seemed to snap Monika out of her thoughts, and her friend quickly stood up, “Sorry, uh, I’ll go and get ready, too. Let’s meet outside your door?”

She nodded in agreement, and watched as Monika walked to the door, then turned around again, eyes closed as if she’d see something that she shouldn’t look at yet and said, “See you later.”

Lia just smiled, and laughed a little at how adorable Monika was.

“Yes, I’ll see you.”

—————

The evening air was cold, but not too biting, as Monika and Lia enjoyed the breeze hitting their skin as they walked to a cafe nearby for dinner. They tried to make the most of the little time they still had where they can still both freely roam the streets together without drawing too much attention. They knew that after the show airs and it eventually becomes successful, they won’t be able to go out as much. 

But Monika hadn’t forgotten that Lia was still a celebrity, so even though going out together wouldn’t seem much of a problem, she didn’t know how the other woman would react if Monika suddenly held her hand, something that she’d been badly wanting to do ever since they started walking. She didn’t know how open Lia was into being affectionate in public.

She soon got her answer though, when Monika felt the older woman reach for her right hand and intertwined their fingers. Monika spared a look at Lia, surprise on her face, and saw that the other woman was smiling, but was still looking at the path ahead as if nothing had happened. As if she didn’t just make Monika’s heart flutter. 

She wanted to say something in that moment, to say something to Lia and how she was the reason for all these warm feelings she was currently feeling inside, but opted to hold it back. She thought that it wasn’t the right time to be completely sentimental, especially if they haven’t gone on an official date yet. Still, that wouldn’t stop her from lifting their conjoined hands to her lips, and kissing the back of the other woman’s hand, trying to put all the emotions she was feeling in that kiss. 

That got Lia to finally look at her, their eyes meeting, and she saw the tenderness on the older woman’s look, the same one that was probably reflected on her eyes as well. They shared a small smile, and Monika’s heart felt like it was going to burst with all these emotions her friend was making her feel. 

As they reached the place, Monika ushered Lia in, and got them a seat in a slightly secluded area at the back corner. She pulled back the chair for Lia as she waited for her to sit, being as chivalrous as ever, before she went to her own seat. They checked the menu, and as soon as they decided on what to eat, they immediately called an employee to place an order and waited for the food to arrive.

“Are you all set for your first press conference next week?” She heard Lia ask.

“I think so. I’m not gonna lie, it’s going to still be pretty overwhelming for me since it’s going to be my first time in front of so many journalists and photographers, but knowing that you’ll be there… well, it makes everything a little less daunting.” Monika nervously chuckled. She did feel a little anxious about the upcoming press conference next Wednesday because she was charting on unknown territory, but she knew that with Lia present, she felt that she could do anything as long as the other woman was by her side. Lia gave her a fond smile at that. 

“I’ll be there to guide you and hold your hand every step of the way, literally and figuratively.” her friend winked at her.

“I definitely won’t say no to that.” Monika said, grinning, and reached for the woman’s hand across the table and held it. She was so addicted to the woman’s touch that she didn’t want a second to go by where she couldn’t feel Lia’s warmth on her.

“I didn’t say to hold your hand every second of every day. I meant during the press conference, dear.” Lia chuckled, but made no move to remove her hand from Monika’s hold.

“There’s no harm in starting right now. Who’s to say that I don’t need your guidance as early as this very moment?” Monika raised an eyebrow, smirking. Then, remembering the thought that she was pondering about during their walk, she asked, “You’re okay with all of this right? You’re not worried if people talk about you and make assumptions or something?” Even though society is a lot more accepting and more open-minded compared to back then, bigoted people still existed and she was worried that Lia would become the subject of their outrage if their relationship (or whatever they have right now) became public.

“I don’t really care much about what people say about me in that aspect. I try to be as truthful to myself as much as possible. And that meant not hiding who I am or who I want to be with.” Lia said boldly. Monika admired how unafraid the other woman was, and that resolution gave her the strength to face any possible issues they may encounter in the future.

“Good. Because I don’t think I can handle keeping my hands to myself.” Monika said, squeezing Lia’s hand, getting her point across.

Their food arrived soon after that, and they continued talking while they dined. Monika felt light at how content and happy she felt at that moment. Just being in Lia’s presence, spending time with her, being able to freely hold her hand, and not hiding how much she craved a relationship with the other woman. 

“By the way, I know you’re the one who asked me on a date first, but is it okay if I do the planning for this one instead? You’ve been doing all these wonderful things for me in the past few weeks and I just wanted to give back and do something for you.” Monika heard Lia say as she looked up and saw Lia smiling beautifully at her. How could she say no to that face?

“What did you have in mind?” Monika asked.

“I was thinking of doing it in my house. Since the show is airing soon, we might not be able to have some privacy if we did it outside.” 

“I think that’s a great idea.” Monika smiled at her. “Oh, speaking of the show. We’re planning to do a mini get together at our house with my team to watch the first episode. Do you want to join us?” She’d love it if Lia would be able to join them, and maybe she could also start introducing her to Hyowon as someone she wanted to date, and not just someone she’s reconnecting with.

It was subtle, but Monika saw how Lia’s smile slightly wobbled at that, and the light in her eyes dimmed a little bit. She already knew what her answer would be to that question. She almost forgot about Lia’s jealousy towards her relationship with Hyowon.

“No, thank you. You guys have fun, though.” Monika kicked herself for bringing it up, as she felt the iciness in Lia’s tone. She already missed that beautiful smile on the other woman’s face, and she wanted badly to bring it back.

She reached out again and held Lia’s hand reassuringly. “I don’t think I can have that much fun without you.” She tried to cheekily say, and she succeeded as Lia rolled her eyes at her and chuckled. “We can do the date a few days after that. Sounds good to you?”

“Yes. I think that’s fine.” Lia said, a small smile slowly coming back to her face.

Monika beamed at her, anticipation filling her at the thought of officially going on a date with the other woman.

If she could just fast forward the time and go to that day, she definitely would.

—————

“No. I can’t do it. Why do we even need to do this?” Lia whined. 

They were standing at the huge waiting room at the building where the press conference would be held, trying to learn a short dance video as instructed by the production team. They said it was to garner interest for the show and give them a teaser on the cast’s chemistry. Monika and Lia were fortunately paired to make a video together, but the type of video that the staff were making them do was far from being a fortunate situation. 

“Because our bosses said so.” the younger woman said.

“Let’s switch places, at least.” Lia tried to cutely pout at the other woman, hoping that it would work on her. 

They were doing a dance to the song called “Everytime We Touch” where the other person would just stand still, and the other was going to dance in a silly way, expressing the lyrics of the song to the person standing. Lia wasn’t able to hide the horror on her face when she saw what the staff wanted them to recreate, and she begged Monika to take the role of the person dancing instead. 

But the traitorous woman felt that it would be even funnier if Lia were to do it. “Over my dead body.” she said when Monika suggested it. Since no one was backing down and the younger woman didn’t want to do the dancing as well, Monika just proposed to play rock, paper and scissors to be fair, and whoever loses gets the role of the dancer. 

And now they’re here, and Lia was subjected to the humiliating role of having to exaggeratedly dance in front of Monika. 

“Sorry, you got the role fair and square. Come on, it’s just a fifteen-second video. You can do it, I believe in you.” She saw how Monika tried to hold back a laugh as she cheered her on, mirth filling the other woman’s eyes. 

“I hate you.” Lia knew that it wasn’t technically Monika’s fault, but she couldn’t really say it to the poor staff that were only doing their jobs. Monika would get the brunt of Lia’s annoyance instead. 

“No, you don’t.” Monika just grinned at her, her eyes crinkling and her teeth on display as she smiled. The woman was probably finding it all amusing to her. “I saw an empty dressing room in a hallway nearby, if we finish this early we’d still have time to check it out…” Lia heard the suggestive tone in Monika’s voice. That was an incredibly tempting offer. An offer that Lia would definitely not let pass her by.

Feigning a sigh, she finally complied. “Fine. Let’s just get this over with.” 

And they were done in five minutes, as they hurriedly gave the phone to one of the staff then made an excuse about a wardrobe situation, and immediately went out of the room and Monika led her to where that empty dressing room was. 

As soon as they got there, they didn’t waste any time latching their lips onto each other, not caring that they’re probably ruining their makeup. 

“I’ve missed you.” Lia heard Monika breathe out.

“It’s only been a few days.” 

“A few days of not being able to kiss you felt like hell.” Monika then attached her lips on her neck and her exposed collarbones, pecking and sucking on her skin. She let out a moan when the younger woman’s lips stayed on a spot that almost made her crumble to her knees.

If she were being honest, Lia, too, missed the other woman. Not a day went by that she wasn’t thinking of the other woman’s kisses and she wanted nothing but to be by Monika’s side. But preparations for the show and the press conference meant that they’d be taking some time from their studios so they decided to focus and catch up on work at their respective dance academies in the meantime before their schedules become much more hectic. 

She felt herself being backed on the nearby vanity table, where Monika guided and lifted her up, and they continued making out for the next ten minutes. Their phone beeped soon after that, and they broke the kiss as there was no doubt that it was about notifying them that the conference was about to start and they needed to get back to the waiting room.

With a sigh, Lia reluctantly pulled herself away from the other woman and got down from the table, then they proceeded to fix their hair and clothes that got slightly disheveled, and wiped some smudged makeup on their faces.

When she was about to open the door, she felt herself getting turned around as Monika gave her one last, hard kiss on the lips, the younger woman’s hand coming up to hold her face. 

“Just getting myself a good luck kiss.” Monika smiled sweetly, her thumb caressing her cheek. 

Lia didn’t know that it could be possible to fall even more for the other woman, but she felt herself almost keeling over at how over the moon she felt at the moment.

She gave the woman another peck on the lips and said, “Good luck, dear.” 

They soon went out of the dressing room and went to the waiting room where all cast members involved were already there getting ready to be called on stage. Gabee, their producer was also there and she gave them a raised eyebrow when she saw them arriving together. The producer’s eyes got even bigger when they finally got closer to greet her.

“You’ve got some lipstick stain on your neck, hun.” Lia saw Gabee point in her direction. Her hand immediately went to where the producer pointed and looked at Monika to shoot daggers at her. She must’ve missed it since she just focused on fixing the makeup on her face, and not the actual mess that the other woman left on her skin. 

At least Monika had the decency to look a little sheepish, even though she also looked like she was trying to hold back her glee. Lia pointedly cleared her throat, hoping the other woman would get the signal and help her remove whatever it was that the producer saw. Thankfully, Monika got the hint and reached for some tissues, then removed Lia’s hand that was covering her neck and the younger woman wiped the stain gently. She didn’t notice that that action just seemed to make Gabee’s eyebrow raise even more, and she looked at them curiously.

“You two seem to be finally getting along well.” The producer moved closer to them and said in a quiet voice. As far as Gabee knew, Lia and Monika weren’t on good terms, and she knew that Lia hated Monika enough to sabotage her place in the show (which was a lie that Lia crafted so she could convince the producer to let Monika stay). 

“Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad you’ve finally resolved whatever issue you guys had. At least I have one less problem to worry about.” Gabee continued, then turned to Monika, “Did you know that this woman right here even said that she’d quit if I didn’t take you back on the show? Looking at you guys now, I guess Lia really wasn’t joking when she said that she felt bad about doing that to you. And now you’re friends again. A happy ending for everyone!” Gabee clapped and laughed joyfully. Well, Lia’s also glad that their producer seemed to be enjoying this rollercoaster of a relationship. She just hoped that that would really make Gabee completely forget about that issue. 

Monika turned to her at that though, surprise evident on her face. Oh, it must be because of what the producer revealed. Lia didn’t mention it to her back then because she thought that Monika would get the wrong idea, or that Monika would find it weird that she was too invested in what happens to her even though Lia was supposed to hate the younger woman. Lia didn’t want Monika to know that she still cared about her then. 

But things have changed, and their relationship is in a much better place right now. She thought that it was probably okay to finally let the other woman know what she did exactly.

“Yes, we’re indeed very happy right now.” She heard Monika say, still looking at her with eyes full of awe and affection. She couldn’t help but pause and drown in those eyes, as she gave her a warm smile in return.

“Cuties!” Gabee said, breaking the moment. Then one of the staff announced that they’re ready to go and start the press conference, so they started lining up at the door, walked outside and headed towards the auditorium where the conference will be held.

Before they went inside, Lia turned to Monika and reached for her hand. Luckily they were at the end of the line and no one was behind them, so she was easily able to hold the other woman’s hand.

“Just making good on my promise.” Lia said in a hushed tone. 

She saw Monika blush a little at that, and smiled at her as she squeezed Lia’s hand. Monika discreetly looked around, probably making sure that no one was looking, and when she saw that the coast was clear, she quickly stole a kiss on her cheek. That gesture made Lia grin like a fool.

“You’re the best, thank you.” Monika said, the same grin reflecting on her face. 

They entered the auditorium, still hand in hand, and Lia saw how none of them batted an eye at that. Luckily, it was pretty common for them to see two women holding hands in public, so Lia made use of that opportunity to keep holding Monika’s hand as they went up the stage, and even until they were posing for photos. She saw some cameras zoom in on them and capture this endearing moment between two cast members, probably spinning an article about how cute their friendship is and how close they are. 

They parted soon after that as they were handed seats to finally get started with the Question and Answer portion of the press conference. They were seated beside each other, still staying close with each other as Lia knew that Monika would greatly need her support since it was the younger woman’s first time doing this kind of thing. 

But Lia believed that Monika would still be able to handle everything well, since Monika was the type of person who’d prepare everything in advance. They were already briefed with the possible questions beforehand so Lia was positive that Monika already crafted a solid response to every list of questions that they were handed. 

They started with introductions, each of them saying their name and their role in the show. Then the host went around and finally got on with the questions. 

Lia’s question was the standard “What made you agree to join the show?” to which she answered, “It’s a great platform to showcase Korea’s top dancers and it’s an honor to be a part of something like that. There are a lot of talented dancers that deserved to be in the spotlight and this show aims to help them achieve that. So it wasn’t a difficult decision and I accepted their offer right away.” 

Lia could feel that someone was looking at her, so she turned to her left where Monika was sitting, and saw that the younger woman was already gazing at her, giving her a smile. She returned a smile back and saw some cameras flashed their way at that. 

“Expect to see some articles about us being adorable besties. We’ve provided enough material for them to conclude just that.” Lia said conspiringly, and they both laughed at the thought. 

“Well, we are besties, aren’t we?” Monika retorted, raising an eyebrow at her, as if daring her to correct her and define their relationship right there and then.

“Besties don’t make out every chance they get.” Lia leaned forward and whispered in her ear. 

“Bestie Premium, then.” Monika said, trying to hold back a laugh. 

“You’re ridiculous.” She fondly rolled her eyes at her. They almost forgot that they were in front of more than fifty people, as they were engrossed in their own world, snickering and whispering to each other. 

She saw how Monika almost jumped in surprise when the host finally directed a question at her. Lia laughed quietly at Monika looking like she was just called out by a teacher who caught her conversing with a student when she shouldn’t be. Monika discreetly glared at her, then as if a switch was turned on, she suddenly looked like a professional and focused on the question and answered it eloquently and intelligently. It was one of the traits that made Lia fall for the other woman back then. She was a smooth talker and her confident words could convince Lia every single time, even when she thought differently from her. 

As Monika finished talking, Lia turned to her again and gave the younger woman a proud smile. 

They finished soon after that, after the host went around and asked everyone a question, then they wrapped it up with a quick photo-op again. They went back to the waiting room as soon as they were done.

“When can we see each other after this?” She heard Monika ask as they were gathering their things. 

She mentally checked her schedule, and found that almost every day was packed with things to do, different interviews and some promotional stuff for the show, since the first episode was scheduled to air this weekend. 

“I’m afraid we won’t be seeing each other until next weekend.” Lia set their first official date at her house the weekend after the first episode, where they could also watch the second episode together. As much as she wanted to see the other woman as much as she could, she knew that they both got their hands full with managing their own academies and some individual promotional activities for the show.

Monika pouted cutely at that, and said, “That’s too far.” She knew Monika would protest, so she wasn’t surprised when the younger woman’s face suddenly showed a new kind of determination and asked her, “You’re free during the evenings after your class right? I can go to your studio after my schedule is done and we can grab dinner.”

She certainly wasn’t opposed to that. Lia in the past would balk at the thought of socializing after a class, always opting to head straight home, enjoy her time alone and play with her dogs. Now though, it was like she was addicted to Monika’s presence that she’s willing to sacrifice all that relaxation time that she used to enjoy just so she could spend it with the woman she loves. And it seemed like Monika developed the same addiction, as she was also willing to make an effort to come to her just so she could be with her. 

“Are you sure? Won’t you be tired by then?” Lia still wanted to make sure, she didn’t want the younger woman to overdo herself just because she could.

“Quite the opposite in fact. Seeing you energizes my day.” Monika said with a straight face. 

“I hope you’re joking because that was pretty cheesy.” Lia said with a laugh. It was indeed a little cheesy, but her heart still fluttered nonetheless. She found that she liked it when Monika made bold declarations.

“Well I’m not, so I guess you just have to live with it.” Monika said while rolling her eyes. Lia looked around to see if there was anyone nearby, and when she found no one, she took Monika’s hand and intertwined it with hers. That gesture finally made the woman’s pout disappear from her face and replaced it with a small smile.

“Don’t worry, I feel the same way.” 

Chapter Text

“Hyowon! Please get the door!” 

Monika was in the middle of putting the steaming pot of stew at the table when the doorbell rang. It was the premiere day of the first episode of their show and she invited the contestants on her team, including Jihye to watch it together. 

She saw Hyowon come out of her room, her hair still a bit wet as she just got out of the shower, and rushed to open the door. 

“Hi! Come in, come in. Welcome to our humble abode!” Hyowon said enthusiastically. She really didn’t disappoint when it came to entertaining guests, Monika thought as she chuckled at her friend’s overly excited voice.

“Oooh, something smells good.” She heard Jihye say. 

Monika removed her kitchen gloves and finally greeted the people that arrived. 

“Dinner is set, everyone. Put down your bags and jackets and take a seat on the table.” She commanded gently. 

“Aye, aye, captain!” Aiki said with a salute. She shook her head with a smile at the dancer’s antics. 

Everyone immediately followed suit as they all sat at the table, eating and conversing loudly. Monika realized how chaotic it was when she put all of them together, especially when Hyowon was with them as well. She could only watch with a laugh at how crazy it all was. 

“Ah, Coach, this is delicious! We should come by to have dinner here often.” Bada said cheekily.

“Please, don’t.” Monika said, feigning horror on her face. 

“Tsk, don’t mind her. Please, you’re always free to come.” Hyowon slapped her arm light-heartedly. She pouted at her friend and rubbed the spot, acting as if it hurt. Hyowon just rolled her eyes at her. 

Laughter and conversation filled the table as they continued eating, and as they finished, everyone volunteered to clean up the table. They ushered Monika away and told her to stay put as she already cooked and prepared dinner for them. She reluctantly agreed and went to her room to freshen up a bit, and took out her phone to call the person she'd been missing the whole day. 

After that press conference, they’d been meeting almost every single evening to eat dinner together, as Monika made sure to finish all of her schedule on time so she could have enough time to go to Lia and spend time together. Even though her days were more tiring than usual, the thought of seeing the older woman by the end of it kept her motivated and inspired to do her work and tasks diligently. She felt like she was rewarding herself for a job well done when she finally found herself at the end of the day sitting across Lia, eating dinner and just being in her presence.

Tonight was the first night that they won’t be seeing each other, and Monika was already feeling that emptiness that only Lia could fill and make her complete again.

It rang twice before she heard that beautiful rich tone of the other woman’s voice gracing her ear.

“Hello?”

“Hi.” Monika said with a giggle. She didn’t care if she sounded like a giddy teenager at that moment, she was just too happy to hear from the woman again.

“What’s going on? Don’t you have guests over?” She heard the amusement in Lia's voice. She probably knew why Monika was calling her.

“Yeah, they shooed me away so they could clean up the table and do the dishes. I’m in my room right now. I miss you.”

“I miss you, too.” she heard her pause, then Lia said, in a much deeper voice, “Are you alone?”

“Uh, yes?” Monika’s interest piqued at that, as she sat straighter in her bed.

“What are you wearing?” She heard Lia ask, all mirth gone from her tone and all that was left was that sexy, rich voice. She knew that Lia was just teasing her if the quiet snicker she heard in the background was any indication, but her heart still raced nonetheless. 

“Uh… a sweater and some sweatpants. You?” She said with a chuckle, trying to humor the woman. She also didn’t want to break the moment because she had to admit that she liked hearing Lia’s sensual voice. She was already feeling herself getting a little warm so she fanned herself, trying to calm herself down. It’s not a good idea to work herself up when she’s about to hang out with four other people in a few minutes.

“I’ve already washed up… Lying in my bed, thinking of you… Wearing absolutely nothing.” 

Fuck, that definitely didn’t help. She was getting a little breathless and her whole body getting hot, as she heard the other woman's breathing picking up on the other line. 

“I- uh… shit.” All eloquence left her body at that, her mind getting hazy with the thought of Lia on her bed, naked. Whether Lia was saying the truth or not, or whether she was just teasing her, it was still affecting Monika.

“What’s wrong, dear? Cat got your tongue?” She heard Lia say with that sultry voice.

She shook her head at the other woman, and tried to get a hold of herself. “God, you’re wicked.” she masked her breathlessness with a chuckle. That was a very foul move. A very foul, but very sexy move which Monika may or may not be craving for more.

“Do you want me to stop?” Lia asked. Monika actually pondered that question as if she was willing to continue and lock herself in her room and just shove her hand down her pants and actually do this seriously with the other woman.

But Monika wasn’t able to respond anymore as she heard a loud knock on the door followed by Hyowon barging inside. She stood up in surprise, as if she was just caught doing something she shouldn’t.

“What’s taking so long?” She saw Hyowon pause when her friend saw that Monika was on the phone. Her friend appeared apologetic at that, and mouthed “Sorry” then said in a much quieter voice, “The show is about to start in five minutes, we’re all waiting for you outside.” 

She gestured that she’d be out soon, and her friend thankfully left the room quietly. She heard a sigh on the other line, as Lia no doubt heard what just happened. 

“I have to go, I’m sorry. I’ll uh, talk to you later?” Monika sheepishly said. If it was up to her, she’d just stay in her room and keep talking to the other woman, guests be damned. But it wouldn’t be fair to her team if she bailed on them, especially if she was the one who invited them in the first place. Monika was actually starting to regret that very decision. 

“Go. Have fun.” She heard the smile in Lia’s voice, but Monika knew that the other woman was masking her disappointment at having to stop whatever they were doing. The same disappointment that Monika was also feeling.

“If I could, I’d stay on the line and let you continue whatever it is you’re about to tell me.” She confessed in a hushed, breathless tone, letting the other woman know how much this conversation affected her. 

Lia let out a small gasp on the other line, and chuckled deeply, “I can show it to you instead.” Monika’s jaw dropped at that, her pulse quickening.

“Wha… uh, what?” Monika was really starting to sound like a fool who couldn’t talk. It was embarrassing, truly.

“Goodbye, Monika.” 

Then she heard a click and the line went dead.

But while she was recovering from that conversation, she heard a message notification and saw that Lia sent her a photo. With clammy hands, she clicked on the message. 

What she saw made her eyes bulge in surprise and unconsciously pulled the phone closer to her face, as if to get a better look. 

“Holy shit.” Monika uttered as she looked at Lia’s dimly lit selfie where she was indeed lying in her bed, a blanket was pulled up to her chest, bare arms visible and she couldn’t see any sign of a top or a shirt underneath. The other woman was also wearing the sexiest smirk she had ever seen, and Monika almost lost her mind. 

No other message was sent except that photo. Monika quickly typed out a response before Hyowon decides to barge in again and see what she was looking at.

You’re making this “waiting thing” very hard for me.

She finally locked her phone and didn’t wait for the other woman’s reply anymore, as she needed to cool herself down as soon as possible before she went out and watched the show with her team. 

With a deep exhale, she got out of the room and to the living area, where her guests and Hyowon were already sitting and waiting for her. She went and sat on the empty spot on the couch beside Hyowon and waited for the show to start.

“Finally! We thought you already fell asleep in there, Coach.” Aiki said jokingly. 

“How could I sleep with all these ruckus you were making? The show wasn’t even starting and I could already hear howling. Was that you, Aiki?” She teased the dancer, mirth in her eyes to let her know that she didn’t actually mind. She could actually hear them earlier even when she was on the phone with Lia, but she didn’t have the energy to notice them as her full attention was on the other woman’s sexy voice. Also, she was actually glad that they were having fun. 

“You wound me, Coach.” She saw Aiki put her hand on her chest, acting as if she got physically stabbed in the heart. Monika just laughed at how ridiculously funny the dancer was. 

“Shhh, it’s starting.” Hyowon said beside her. 

They all paid attention to the screen in front of them and watched the introduction of the show, which showed a preview of the contestant’s performances, and some of the coaches’ feedback and banter, and the background is the voiceover of the host explaining the concept of the show. 

When it got to the part where the coaches were being introduced, they all cheered when Monika was finally on the screen. 

“Whoo! That’s our coach!” She heard Bada shout and clap enthusiastically. Monika just laughed at how everyone exaggeratedly yelled for her, feeling a little shy at the attention. But she had to admit that it felt nice to have someone who wasn’t Hyowon to support and encourage her like this. She hadn’t felt like this ever since her crew disbanded twelve years ago, and she found that she missed the feeling of being part of a team. The feeling of belongingness with people who share the same passion and dream. 

They proceeded to watch in silence after that, only letting out some reactions at appropriate moments, sometimes Monika would offer some commentary on some of the dancers’ performances, to which her team would nod to and agree with. Monika was proud to note that none of them bad-mouthed or gave some rude remarks on the other dancers, and they let her give most of the feedback and criticisms herself. 

Leejung’s performance was also included in the first episode, and Monika was almost embarrassed when she remembered how she tried to fight Lia to get the dancer on her team. She watched as the show included how she playfully asked Lia if she could be an instructor in her studio, and how it looked like Monika was flirting with her instead of trying to compete with her. 

“Coach! How could you?! Are you trying to sleep with the enemy?!” Aiki exclaimed to her, laughing. She just playfully reached out and slapped the dancer’s arm, not giving her a verbal response. Monika knew that Aiki didn’t mean it literally, but if they only knew how true that statement was, they’d probably find this situation hilarious. 

She glanced at her best friend who was uncharacteristically quiet beside her, and wondered why she wasn’t teasing her as well. Hyowon would’ve joked about how she’s betraying her or something by now, but instead, she’s sitting there quietly with a straight face, eyes focused intently on the screen. Was she that engrossed with the show? 

Monika didn’t think much about it anymore and just let her friend continue watching in peace. 

The program ended after an hour, and only Jihye’s appearance and performance was shown. Aiki and Bada didn’t mind since the show was still pretty enjoyable, and they probably weren’t worried that they wouldn’t have any screen time since they had three dance coaches who wanted them during that first round. The production team would be stupid not to include the performances of two of their highly talented contestants. 

“That was pretty fun. I’m checking my socials and the show is already a hit. It’s trending right now!” She heard Jihye say as she scrolled through Twitter. She forgot that she left her phone in her room because she feared that Lia would send more photos and Hyowon or some of her guests might see it. She’d check her phone later in the safe confines of her room, when she’s finally alone. Monika didn’t care if that made her seem like a pervert, because she wouldn’t deny the fact that the older woman just awakened something inside her that had been resting for a very long time. 

“Ooh, they especially liked the banter between you and Lia. They’re already posting clips of the two of you and most of them have more than five hundred retweets. Wow.” Jihye showed her phone screen to Monika and saw that her friend wasn’t joking. There were a lot of accounts posting that particular clip of them fighting over Leejung (or more like flirting with each other), and how they’re already loving their interaction. Some of them were even posting photos from the press conference, saying how much they love their relationship and how sweet they looked, and that they’re now looking forward to more moments between the two. They were gaining fans at an incredibly abnormal speed, as she was already seeing accounts that had their faces as their display photos. 

Her phone must be blowing up as well. She was already scared to look at the amount of notifications on her Twitter and Instagram that she was probably getting.

“You guys were pretty entertaining, I’ll give you that.” That was said in a slightly cold way. Did Hyowon have a problem with the show? She had been pretty quiet ever since they started watching, and Monika assumed that she just probably wanted to focus on the show. But now, as she took a good look at her best friend, Hyowon actually had a little bit of a crossed look on her face.

“Hey, are you okay?” Monika leaned closer to her, and said in a hushed tone.

Hyowon gave her a small smile, but Monika knew that her friend did it for her sake, so she wouldn’t worry. 

“Yeah, of course. Why wouldn’t I be?” She said in a cheerful voice. 

“Did our show bore you, Miss Hyowon? I think we should play a game next, make the most out of this night!” Aiki suggested, as she stood up and went to get something from her bag. “I brought this bottle so we could ramp this party up.” The dancer showed a huge bottle of vodka, and waved it in the air. Her guests all cheered at that. These damn alcoholics, Monika fondly shook her head and laughed at their enthusiasm.

“I might have to pass on the drink, but I’ll happily join whatever game you have planned for us.” She hadn’t gotten herself drunk ever since she swore to herself twelve years ago to not repeat one of the reasons why Lia left her in the first place. It was her promise to herself and it was the least she could do for Lia as repentance back then.

She wouldn’t especially do it now, right when their relationship is finally changing for the better. She wouldn’t risk ruining their connection that she tried so hard to rebuild.

“Hmm, I don’t know how that would work with the game we’re supposed to play, though.” Aiki said while she bent over her bag again, and took out a card game that had a picture of an animated drunk person on its cover.

“Oh my God, this is going to be fun.” Bada exclaimed as she stood up and helped Aiki with the stuff she had on her hands.

They sat and formed a circle on the floor, while Hyowon and Jihye stood up to get some shot glasses and to slice some lemons.  

A few minutes later, all of them were gathered in their living room floor as Aiki shuffled the cards, the bottle of vodka placed in the middle, and the air was filled with anticipation as they waited for the game to start. She tried to check on Hyowon again, to see if her friend’s mood had gotten a little better, and she was happy to note that her face showed none of that coldness from before. Monika bumped her shoulder playfully on Hyowon who was sitting beside her, just to make sure that her best friend was really okay, and she laughed as that earned her a burning glare in response. Monika stuck her tongue out at that, not caring that she was acting like a mischievous kid at that moment, because all she thought about was how to bring back her best friend’s energy from earlier.

“We haven’t started the game yet and someone already looks drunk.” Hyowon said as she poked her cheek, as if reprimanding her for her actions, but that just made Monika smile even wider.

“Seems like Coach really didn’t need the alcohol to play the game.” Aiki laughed, placing the deck of cards in the middle beside the vodka, “Okay, who wants to start?” 

“Let’s start with our youngest, then we’ll go around after that.” Jihye proposed. Bada nodded and reached out and took a card, finally starting their game.

The youngest guffawed before she read the card, “Everyone who is shorter than you drinks. Ha!”

“Aish, really?” Aiki gave her a side-eye and pretended to be pissed off, which actually just made everyone laugh.

“Nice one, Bada, now you’re about to get everyone warmed up.” Monika remarked as everyone except her poured a drink on their glasses.

“Okay, okay. Let’s all drink this first shot together. One, two, cheers!” Hyowon commanded as everyone took their first shot. They all made a face, probably because of how strong the drink was. Monika was actually glad that all of them respected her decision to not drink, as she was already imagining how wasted everyone would be if they actually finished that gigantic bottle, and she didn’t envy that situation one bit.

It would be fun to see how everyone would act later if it ever got to that point, though. Monika quietly laughed at that thought. She just hoped that it wouldn’t be too messy, where Monika would end up having to take care of everyone, which would be a lot less fun than what she actually had in mind.

“Aiki, you’re up.” She heard Hyowon say, elation on her face. She smiled at how much her best friend was having fun.

The red-haired dancer picked up a card, and what she read made her throw the card in annoyance. Monika picked it up and read it for everyone, a grin growing on her face as she realized what was in it. 

“For one minute, call a random number on your phone and tell the person how much you want to make love to them. Oh, we definitely have to see this.” Monika cackled after reading what was on the card. This dare couldn’t have been more perfect for the dancer as there was no doubt that she’d make it as humorous as possible.

“Let’s raise the stakes on this one… you have to drink five shots if you cop out on doing it.” Jihye added, to everyone’s delight. They cheered on Aiki, egging her on. The dancer just sighed, exasperated, but she was still laughing with them nonetheless. 

“Shit, fine, fine! You all better do the embarrassing dares later as well.” Aiki reached out for the bottle and still poured herself a drink, despite deciding to do the dare. “I’m going to need this.” She downed a shot and took out her phone.

Hyowon crawled over to where Aiki was and grabbed her phone, “I’m going to dial the number for you. Just in case you decided to cheat.” 

“You wound me, Miss Hyowon.” Aiki laughed but still let Hyowon input the number for her.

Monika looked over her best friend’s shoulder and watched as Hyowon typed a random number before clicking the call button. Luckily for them, the number was active and the call pushed through as it rang. Hyowon put it on loudspeaker and gave the phone back to Aiki.

The sound of a woman’s voice rang in the room, and everyone was clasping their mouths, trying to smother their laughter. Aiki mouthed a swear word and tried to hold back a laugh, as she composed herself before she spoke. 

“Uh, baby… All through the night, I’ll make love to you.” Everyone almost lost it as they realized that Aiki was going to recite the lyrics of the song “I’ll Make Love To You”. She looked at how everyone was shaking their bodies in silent laughter, and tears of joy were already streaming down their faces. Monika was having a hard time trying to keep it in as well, as she bit her finger trying to not let any sound come out of her.

“Excuse me? Who’s this?”

All of them almost died of laughter as they heard the highly confused woman respond on the other line. 

Aiki couldn’t resist letting out a chortle that she hid in a cough and continued, “Like you want me to, and… I’ll hold you… tight…” the dancer was almost wheezing at how she was controlling to keep her voice normal and not burst into laughter.

“Baby! All through the night I’ll make love to you! Goodbye, have a great night!” Aiki immediately ended the call before the stranger had a chance to say something in reply.

“Hey, that didn’t last a minute yet!” Monika said as they all finally let out the laughter that they’d been holding for almost a few seconds. 

Aiki wasn’t able to talk as she was too busy laughing, and the dancer just shook her head at her, gesturing that she couldn’t do it anymore.

“Damn, you’re crazy. Crazy good.” Hyowon slowly clapped her hands at Aiki, admiring her gutsiness. The dancer bowed her head in acknowledgment, accepting the compliment.

“Enough with the Aiki show, let’s move on.” Monika playfully remarked. Jihye was next, and she reached out to take a card as soon as the laughter had died down.

“Feed the player on your right without using your hands or drink twice.” Everyone oooh-ed at that, as Jihye turned to Monika who was sitting on her right. Her former teammate wiggled her eyebrows at her in a comical way, “How would you like me to proceed, Coach?” Jihye said, grinning.

“Ugh, just don’t use your feet.” 

She watched the blonde woman take the largest chip on the snack bowl, held it in the air with her fingers, her lips pursed as if deep in thought, then after a few seconds, she smirked and winked at Monika, then put the edge of the chip between her teeth. The older woman turned to her, scooted in her direction as she put her face directly in front of Monika. She raised an eyebrow at what Jihye decided to come up with. That was a little daring, if she must say so herself.

She heard some squealing in the background, as they were probably surprised at Jihye’s boldness. She even heard Hyowon howling in the background. Her former teammate was usually the quiet and reserved one out of them, so she expected her to just take the drink and opt out of the dare instead. But now, she found herself in front of the blonde woman, waiting for her to move her face closer and take a bite on the piece of chip that was on Jihye’s mouth.

It was probably okay for her to do it, right? Monika debated as thoughts of what Lia would think suddenly came through her mind. Maybe she wouldn’t mind, since she also knew Jihye and they were all friends anyway, and there’s nothing malicious about what they were going to do. It’s all in good fun.

With that in mind, she closed the small gap between them and took the chip from Jihye’s mouth, careful not to touch the other woman’s lips. 

“Phew, that was hot!” Aiki jokingly fanned herself as she teased them.

“Ew, don’t make it weird. No offense, Monika. You’re simply just not my type.”

“Oh, don’t worry, the feeling is mutual.” She rolled her eyes good-naturedly at her friend.

“Monika’s turn!” Hyowon exclaimed after a few seconds.

“Sorry, Coach, since you’re not going to drink, you have to do the dare no matter what.” Aiki reminded her. She sighed as she had no choice. It wouldn’t be fair if she didn’t do what was on the card without any consequences.

“Fine.”

As soon as she picked a card and read it, she could already feel her face getting red at what was written on it. She’s starting to regret joining this game.

“What is it?” Hyowon said beside her, and she felt her starting to read over her shoulder.

“Uh, Send a seductive message to your crush or drink.” Monika finally said. As expected, her guests all screamed at that.

“Oh my God, do you even have a crush right now? You’re still single, right?” Jihye said, laughing.

“Thank you, Jihye. Please continue to point out the sad status of my lovelife.” Monika tried to say in a straight face. She didn’t know if it was okay to let them know about what was happening between them and Lia, since her own best friend was also still in the dark about it. And to be honest, she still didn’t know what to properly call their relationship at this moment. Were they dating? Or friends who constantly make out with each other? They’re still at a very awkward stage right now and Monika didn’t want to jinx it by telling other people about it when she herself wasn’t still sure about what to call it.

But what she did know is that Lia could still be considered as a crush to her. And she’s crushing hard. She stood up hastily, to everyone’s bewilderment.

“Why are you standing up? Are you trying to run away?!” Monika almost laughed at how seriously they’re all taking this game.

“Chill, I’m just going to grab my phone. I left it in my room.”

She heard some yowling as she walked towards her room. They probably didn’t expect that she’d have someone to do the dare on, as they all shouted with anticipation. She even heard Aiki saying how Monika wasn’t as lonely as she thought she was. She couldn’t help but laugh, even though it was sounding as if they were making fun of her. She actually didn’t mind since she knew that they were all just having fun and she wasn’t sensitive to those kinds of jokes.

As she got to her room, she closed the door to get some privacy, and immediately took her phone that she left on top of her bed. She saw that she had two unread messages from Lia, and almost a hundred notifications on Instagram and Twitter. She’d get to all of that insanity later. 

She clicked on Lia’s message and read what the older woman sent her.

Are you starting to regret it? ;)

That was the response she got from her previous message, then a few minutes after that, Lia sent her last message.

Have fun, Monika. 

Monika felt a little bad that she left her hanging for almost two hours, but she was also glad that Lia seemed to understand Monika’s unresponsiveness, as that was the only message that the other woman sent the whole time Monika was outside. Lia probably wanted to give her space and let her enjoy her time with the people she invited in her house. 

She quickly typed out a reply:

Sorry it took so long to get back. Believe me, there’s nowhere I’d rather be right now than to be by your side. It pains me that all I could do right now is fantasize about you… and what you’re hiding underneath that blanket…

Monika was unconcerned if that seemed a bit too forward, nor that she was already sending a seductive text without the presence of her guests. She just wanted to tell Lia how she felt in that moment, and she wanted to say it without anyone seeing, as she wanted it to be a moment between the two of them only.

While she was on it, she saved the photo that Lia sent a while ago before she deleted it on the message thread, then changed Lia’s contact name temporarily to a heart emoji, just in case her guests decided to snoop even more and find out who her “crush” really is.

Also, she was slightly worried about what her best friend would think. She didn’t want Hyowon to feel that she’s neglecting her as her closest confidante by not immediately telling her that she already had her eyes on someone. Hyowon would probably get on her case about it until she told her who it was though. 

“Hey, don’t even try to hide in there!” Speaking of the devil. Hyowon was already knocking incessantly on her door. She was impressed that her best friend didn’t just barge in as she would usually do. 

“Coming!” 

As she double checked their message thread, making sure that it was safe, she finally got out of her room and sat on the floor again where the people she was playing with were gathered. 

“Oooh, so our Coach does have a crush.” She heard Jihye say, anticipation in her eyes. 

“You’re making it sound like I’m a teenager or something. It’s just someone I’m interested in.” She tried to be as nonchalant as possible, hoping that they wouldn’t pry for information even more. 

“You’ve never told me that you’re interested in someone.” Whoop, there it is. Her best friend had a look of displeasure on her face and she looked a little bit wounded? She deduced as she looked at Hyowon’s eyes. The younger woman must’ve felt hurt that she was knowing about it at the same time as other people, as she was always the first one to know if there was anything significant happening in Monika’s life. 

There was an awkward tension in the air as no one commented after that, and she saw how Aiki pursed her lips and looked at Jihye and Bada, as if silently deliberately whether they should joke about it or not.

“Sorry, I just didn’t want to tell you unless I was absolutely sure about it. Besides, this just started a few weeks ago.” Monika carefully explained. That didn’t seem to work as the look on Hyowon’s face was unchanging.

Silence filled the air, and as if her best friend sensed it, she finally put on a bright smile that seemed false, as she could still see the slight hurt in her eyes. 

“It’s fine, you can tell me when you’re up for it. I was just surprised.” 

Monika smiled at that, thankful that her best friend understood. But there’s still that nagging feeling at the back of her head telling her that something still didn’t feel right. Maybe they’re due for a heart to heart talk soon. And maybe she could also tell Hyowon about Lia then.

“Of course, you’d be the first to know.”

“Now get on with it! Everyone is waiting.”

She felt everyone relax at that, as they all let out a chuckle. They returned to their playfulness soon after that, as they further teased Monika.

“Yeah, we can’t wait to see how our Coach flirts.” 

She laughed as she finally unlocked her phone. Luckily, Lia didn’t send a message yet so she’d still be able to continue what she messaged earlier. She deleted the previous message she sent on her end though. She shuddered to think about the amount of teasing she’d get if they saw that side of hers.

Monika already thought of what she would send earlier, so she typed it out, sent the message, and showed it to everyone, effectively blocking out the previous messages just to be sure. 

If I were there, I’d start stroking your hair… But I’m afraid I wouldn’t be able to help myself and I’d try to start stroking something else…

“Ahhhh, my eyes!” Aiki exclaimed as she read what she sent. 

“Bada, kid, don’t read that.” Jihye told the youngest dancer as she snickered.

“Too late, I already saw it.” Bada said, clear horror on her face.

“You guys wanted me to do this!” Monika defended herself, chortling as she looked at her guests' reactions. She glanced at Hyowon to try and get some help from her, but her best friend was only looking at a distance, and she had a blank look on her face. It also seemed that Hyowon hadn’t even read what she texted as well.

She wasn’t able to ask Hyowon what she was thinking when her phone beeped, and her eyes widened at the reply she just got. She stood up and hid the phone from roaming eyes.

“Don’t worry, we didn’t want to see how you guys are sexting anyway.” She heard Jihye make a gagging sound. She’d react to it if she wasn’t currently occupied with the message that Lia sent.

I’m definitely stroking something right now.

She almost ran inside her room right there and then, but her guests would definitely know what she would be doing inside, and she didn’t like that thought. Fuck, as much as it pained her to make the older woman wait, she was currently committed in this game, and it wouldn’t be fair if she ditched them out of the blue.

She thought of the best reply in this situation, because she felt bad that she wouldn’t be able to give Lia her full attention right now. 

It feels like hell that I’m currently stuck here, entertaining guests. I wish I was entertaining you instead. If you know what I mean.

God, she was definitely feeling hot right now, and she needed to cool herself down before it got too out of control. She excused herself and went to the kitchen and got herself a very cold drink.

“Mmmm, they probably replied something equally spicy for our Coach to get this thirsty.”

“Shut up!” Monika almost choked on her water when she heard one of her guests teased her.

She came back and sat on the floor a few seconds later, and fortunately, everyone didn’t mention anything about the topic again and were already having a discussion among themselves. 

“Hyowon, you’re up.” Monika said as she turned to her best friend, who was still looking a little frigid ever since she started her turn. She couldn’t blame her, since it was probably Monika’s fault why her best friend’s mood went down again. She knew she messed up by not telling her business partner anything about Lia, and she knew that she should’ve at least given her a hint or something without explicitly telling Hyowon who it was. 

Her best friend took a card with a forced smile on her face, and read what was on it.

“Drink if you’d hook up with another player.” Hyowon took a moment, seemingly pondering the statement. Another bout of excited cheers filled the air after Hyowon read the card out loud. 

“Don’t worry, we won’t ask you who it is if you decided to–”

Aiki wasn’t able to finish her sentence as Hyowon poured herself a drink and downed it in seconds.

“…drink.” Everyone was left slack-jawed at that.

Curious. So her best friend was interested in someone in this circle? She ruled herself out of it since it would be impossible, and she was sure that Hyowon only saw her as a best friend, or maybe even a sister.

Maybe she fell for Aiki’s charms, as she’d observed how naturally flirty the red-haired dancer could be. Maybe Aiki flirted with her when she wasn’t looking. 

Or maybe she liked Jihye, especially with their history and how they were friends for more than a decade now. She had to admit that the older woman had one of the prettiest faces she had ever seen. Even though Monika found her pretty, she still never saw her as someone she’d be interested in. But maybe Hyowon thought differently.

She also ruled out Bada since they all knew that their youngest member was already in a relationship, and she knew her best friend wouldn’t pick someone who was already taken.

Well, one thing’s for sure. It seemed like Hyowon owed her some answers about her own lovelife as well. 

“Wow. Well, now I’m dying to know!” Aiki said, astonished.

Hyowon just smirked at the woman, and didn’t say anything more. Monika observed that exchange with inquisitive eyes, as she tried to guess if her hunch was right and it was actually Aiki whom Hyowon liked, even if it was just a hypothetical situation.

They went around four more times after that, as most of them were already looking a little flushed. Hyowon, especially, was looking positively buzzed and she was already giggly beside her. Even when nothing laughable was said, she still chuckled nonetheless. Monika definitely found it funny, but at the same time, she was also concerned at the amount of alcohol her friend was taking, as she almost took a shot at every turn, not backing down from a drink. She loved her enthusiasm, but Monika feared that Hyowon might be overdoing it. 

She just finished reading her card which only said, “Drink.” so they automatically made her pass on that. But Hyowon suddenly raised her hand, and she almost lost her balance and leaned on Monika for support, which she readily gave her as she put her arms around the younger woman's shoulder.

“I’ll drink on her behalf!” Hyowon exclaimed.

“Stop, you already look like you’re about to pass out.” Monika said with concern in her eyes, as she looked down at the woman who already had her head leaning on Monika’s shoulder. “You can’t even support yourself anymore.”

“I’m fine…” her best friend said as she pushed her head further into Monika’s neck, probably finding a more comfortable position to lay her head. Monika just shook her head fondly and stroked her friend’s arm. She realized that she’d probably be taking care of a drunk Hyowon for the rest of the night. 

It was now Hyowon’s turn, but the younger woman was too comfortable and too drunk to move, as she watched her reach for the card in her position, which proved to be impossible since it was out of her reach. Monika reached out and took the card for her instead. 

“Kiss the person you think is the most beautiful/handsome out of all the players or drink three shots.” Monika scrunched her forehead at that. She didn’t want to put her best friend in a situation where she would have to kiss someone in her drunken state. Hyowon wasn’t in a position to make a clear decision right now, and Monika feared that she’d regret it when she sobered up. And the alternative wasn’t any better either, as she saw how Hyowon probably already reached her limit and Monika thought that she needed to take a break.

“Maybe we should also skip this one, Hyowon already drank a little too much.” 

“Mmmmmnope.” Monika heard her best friend mumble.

“What’s that?”

“I said no. I’ll do the dare.” Hyowon suddenly lifted her head to look her in the eye. Monika almost got taken aback at the intense look that the younger woman was giving her, and all trace of being drunk was gone from her face.

“You don’t have to, you’re too drunk to make a clear decision right nommmph!”

She heard a collective gasp in the background as Monika was cut off with another mouth pressing on to hers. Specifically, Hyowon’s mouth pressing against hers. Her best friend was kissing her. On the lips. In a non-friendly way. Monika sat there, with wide eyes, unmoving. 

After she recovered from her shock a few seconds later, she gently pushed her best friend away and broke off their kiss.

“Hyowon, what the hell?!” She was so shocked and confused right now that she settled with her default reaction, which was anger. She slightly felt bad that she was about to lash out on the drunk woman but what she did was completely inappropriate and her friend needed to know that.

She was about to tell her off when she saw the hurt and the tears that were slowly accumulating in her best friend’s eyes and it made her pause. Monika reeled her anger in, and took a deep breath before she said something she’d regret. 

“I- I’m sorry, everyone, but we have to cut this little party short. You don’t have to clean up, you guys can go ahead and leave this as it is.”

To Monika’s relief, everyone was able to read the room and quietly stood up and packed their stuff, with Aiki gathering the card game and closing the lid of the vodka. A few minutes after that, they were all now standing by the door, with Monika seeing them out.

“I apologize if it ended this way, I promise to make it up to you guys later.” 

“We understand, Monika. We’ll see you later.” Jihye said.

“See you, Coach!” 

“See you, guys.”

Then they were alone in their shared apartment, as Monika stood near the kitchen and Hyowon was still sitting from where they were playing the game earlier. Hyowon, her best friend for more than ten years. She was still trying to wrap her mind about what just happened earlier. 

She was about to ask Hyowon about it when her best friend finally spoke up.

She heard her let out a laugh, before she said, “That was just a joke, you didn’t have to kick them out.”

Monika’s confusion was still evident on her face, as she watched her best friend try to convince her that the kiss meant nothing. 

“Joke or not, that was still inappropriate. You know I take these kinds of things seriously. Hell, it almost took me years before I got to kiss someone again!”

“Well, I’m sorry if I misread the situation. I just thought it would be funny to surprise our guests.”

Something was still completely off about this whole thing, and Monika wasn’t totally convinced with Hyowon’s excuse. But she knew that they wouldn’t be able to properly talk if her best friend was still in an inebriated state, so with that in mind, Monika decided to let it go. At least for now.

“It wasn’t funny. But I’m still accepting your apology. And we can talk about this later when you’ve finally sobered up.”

“What’s there to talk about? I jokingly kissed you  because I thought it would be funny. That’s it. No hidden meaning whatsoever.” She heard the slight irritation on her best friend’s voice. And that’s exactly why they needed to talk. Because of the way she acted all night, that left Monika wondering if it was something she did or if something was truly bothering her best friend.

“You’ve been acting weird all night. Don’t even try to deny it.”

That made her friend pause. Monika saw that Hyowon tried to say something with how her mouth was opening and closing, but she ended up saying nothing. 

“I disagree, but I don’t really have any choice, do I?” Hyowon finally said, resigning to her fate. 

Monika smiled at that, despite the ongoing turmoil she was feeling inside.  

“You do, actually, but I’d still try to convince you anyway. And you know that fighting me on this would be futile.” 

“I know.”

Monika looked at the mess around them, and sighed at the amount of clean up she’d have to do. 

“We can do this tomorrow. Let’s just go and get some rest.” Monika decided as she couldn’t be bothered with chores right now. She was drained, physically and emotionally, and she was already itching to get back on her conversation with Lia. She hoped that the woman was still awake.

Speaking of Lia, she debated whether to relay the events that happened tonight, especially with the kiss that she and Hyowon shared. She didn’t know how that woman would take it, since the older woman already had a history of getting jealous of her best friend. No, Monika thought. It was all a joke anyway and she didn’t need to stress Lia out with that information. And she knew in herself that the only person she’d want to be with was Lia and no one else. 

Besides, telling it to Lia right now would make it seem like it was a big deal, which is the exact opposite of what Monika wanted it to be. Maybe she’d tell that story for another time. But definitely not now when everything still feels fragile, and one wrong move could crumble this delicate foundation.

But at the same time, Monika remembered how their friendship ended because of her lies and because she wasn’t being truthful to Lia. She didn’t want to repeat the same mistakes again. With a nod of her head, she decided that she’d let Lia know about what happened the next time they saw each other. And she shouldn’t be scared since she didn’t do anything wrong anyway, and it’s not as if she initiated the kiss, or that Monika kissed her back. Her conscience was clear and that’s that.

She just hoped that Lia wouldn’t take it the wrong way, because she’d hate it if it would ever come to a point where she’d have to choose between the two of them.

Monika would rather drop dead than choose between the two most important women in her life. 

Chapter Text

It was a very busy day for Lia today, as the day that she had been waiting for finally arrived. 

Their first official romantic date. A date with the woman she had been in love with for almost half of her life. Lia still couldn’t believe that their relationship had reached this point, as she only had ever imagined it happening in her wildest dreams. 

The day started with her usual morning routine, and went on a long walk with her two dogs and worked out for an hour. Then she took a quick shower and did a grocery run to prepare for the food that she was going to cook for dinner later. After that, she’d also made a last-minute appointment at her favorite waxing salon, and had her legs waxed clean and smooth. She had also gotten a Brazilian wax, just in case. Lia wasn’t expecting anything today, but all that built up tension from their make out sessions and that steamy conversation over the phone last week, she wouldn’t be surprised if the night finally led to something more. Lia knew that she wouldn’t be able to wait and contain herself anymore. She was ready to take things further and she hoped that Monika would be too.

It was now almost 5 PM and Lia would be lying if she didn’t feel a little pressured about making this night perfect for the both of them. She took into consideration everything about how Monika had made a lot of effort these past few weeks, including that wonderful day at the park, the day that jump started all of this. She wanted to make it as enjoyable and special for the younger woman, not just because she wanted to repay her for all the lovely things Monika had done for her, but because it was time for her to do something to express how much she cherished the woman.

The first list on her agenda was to prepare the food that they were going to eat for later. She thought of a simple pan seared steak for their dinner and she was glad that she was able to find prime grade quality meat earlier during her grocery run. It was easy enough for her to cook but it was still fancy enough for a romantic dinner for two.

It took her almost more than an hour to prepare and cook everything, and as she was making her final preparations, cleaning and washing all the dishes, Lia’s body was already feeling the jitters and excitement as the time for when she was expecting the younger woman to come neared. They were set to meet at 7:30PM, and Lia only had an hour to shower and dress herself up for the night. As soon as she was done cleaning the mess she’d made in the kitchen, she immediately ran to the bathroom to get herself ready for her date.

As she got out of the shower, she did her usual body and skin routine but with an additional spray of her favorite perfume all over her body. She’d also put on a light smokey makeup and a red lip to complete her look and ironed her hair to perfection. She then proceeded to put on the short, fitted black dress with thin sleeves, careful as not to ruin her hair and makeup. She looked like a woman on a mission and she wasn’t even trying to hide it. 

It had been more than a decade since Lia had harbored these feelings for Monika, and tonight still felt unreal for her, despite spending almost a month of acting on their undeniable attraction towards one another. But everything had been more physical rather than emotional, and they still hadn’t had a chance to fully talk about the extent of their feelings. Lia had no plans of revealing everything to Monika yet, as she felt that it was still too early in their relationship to confess to the younger woman about how she’d never loved anyone the way Lia loved Monika, and that she’d always loved her ever since they were still best friends. She didn’t want to overwhelm the other woman just in case Monika wasn’t on the same page yet. 

Lia’s only plan for tonight was to sweep the woman off of her feet in the most special and romantic way, not only because she wanted to make Monika see a glimpse of what she truly felt for her, but because she wanted to honor this decade-old feelings by making this date something that would be better than any dream she ever had about this day.

Looking at the mirror and feeling satisfied with how she looked, she finally left her room, went to her living room to sit on the couch and waited for her guest. She left her dogs with a good friend in the meantime, as she wanted to dedicate this night for her and Monika only. But Lia was already feeling their absence at that very moment while she waited with nothing to do, and no dogs to distract her and calm her nerves.

She sat there for almost ten minutes until she heard her buzzer ring, signifying that there was someone at the gate. Lia almost jumped, her nerves at an all time high and hands a little clammy. She shot up from the couch, and walked to the door to fetch Monika at the gate. She slid into her black Louboutin heels that make her legs look a little longer, grabbed a coat and immediately went out the door to walk the short distance to the gate. 

Lia tried not to think about how monumental this event was to alleviate some of the pressure she was feeling as she walked, and when she got to the gate to finally meet up with the younger woman, she finally felt well enough and gained some confidence and put on a bravado before she opened the gate. That smirk she tried to put on her face immediately got replaced with astonishment and awe as her eyes finally landed on her date.

“Hi.” She heard Monika say in the most wonderstruck voice. The woman was holding a bouquet of lovely pink roses, and Lia swooned at the sight. 

Her smirk came back though as she saw the woman in front of her looking at Lia as if Monika was already mentally undressing her, her eyes roaming and lingering on her body. Lia was still fully covered with a coat, and she felt her confidence rise up at how much effect it still had on Monika. 

“Hello, dear.” Lia couldn’t resist teasing the younger woman, “Close your mouth, you’ll catch flies.”

“Sorry, couldn’t help it. You look stunning.” Monika said with a chuckle, her eyes finally meeting hers, and handing her the flowers. "This is for you, I hope this is fine." Sheepishness filled the woman's tone.

“Thank you. These are beautiful, and of course, so are you.” Lia said with a soft smile, smelling the roses. The woman did look exquisite with her black dress with a very thin strap underneath a leather jacket that was falling on one shoulder, her hair on a loose bun and curled bangs were falling on the side of her face. She was truly a vision, and Lia wasn’t able to contain herself as she stepped forward, took the other woman’s hand and guided her inside, closed the gate, and gave her a tender kiss. She didn’t care if she was already ruining her lipstick even before they started on dinner, Lia was deprived of those lips for a whole week. They weren’t able to see each other ever since the show started airing as even their evenings became unusually busy and they weren’t able to meet for dinner like usual.

“We haven’t started dinner yet and you’re already giving me my dessert.” Monika said as they parted. 

“Trust me, this is just an appetizer. I can give you a much better dessert later.” She said suggestively. She saw how the younger woman’s eyes darkened at that, clearly getting what Lia was hinting at. 

She offered her arm, waiting for Monika to loop her arms around it, and when she did, they finally started walking towards her house.

“Wow, this yard is massive. And this view… holy shit.”

Lia gave Monika a smile at that, feeling immensely proud of herself that she was able to impress her date even when they’re still outside of her house. She lived in a province not too far from the city, and her yard was overlooking the view of the mountains. She was pretty impressed by it herself.

When they got to her front door and went inside, the awe from the younger woman’s eyes still stayed, and her mouth still hung open, looking at the interior of her home.

Lia just chucked fondly and placed the bouquet of flowers on a nearby table by the door gently. She removed her jacket after, her short black dress now on full display. That action got Monika to look at her, and the amazed look on her face got replaced with something akin to hunger. Lia almost gulped at the intensity of the younger woman’s look.

“This view is definitely much better.” Monika’s voice dropped a little lower, her eyes glued on her newly revealed outfit. Lia watched the woman in front of her remove her own jacket as well, and her breath hitched at the toned arms that were suddenly exposed, stunning tattoos decorating her skin. Lia wondered about the story behind those inked artwork all over her body, and knowing Monika, she was sure that every piece had a deep meaning. Lia mentally noted to ask about it later.

“Easy, tiger. We still have to eat dinner.” Lia let out a small laugh as Monika just stood there, still appraising her as if Lia should be her dinner instead.

“You’re making me want to skip it right now.” She saw Monika step forward in her space, and snaked her arms on her hips, pulling her closer. Lia rested her arms on the woman’s shoulders and clasped her hands behind her neck

Lia mocked a gasp. “And waste everything I’ve prepared for you?” she breathed out, her lips a mere distance on Monika’s lips. Monika leaned in to capture her lips, but Lia teased her and pulled away before they met, and disentangled herself from the woman’s embrace. She took her hand and finally guided her on the dining table.

“The night is still young. We can do anything you want later.” 

“Anything?” Monika said with a raised brow, as if verifying with Lia if they were actually talking about the same thing. They might have not outright planned how their night would end, but it seemed that all this pent up sexual tension had finally accumulated to something and they’re both finally ready to take things further. 

She pulled out the chair for Monika, and gestured for her to sit, ignoring how much her heart raced at the possibility of going all the way with the woman. “Yes.” she clarified, and gave the woman before her a meaningful look. “But first, dinner.” She removed the cover on the meal that she’d already plated earlier, and all the effort she put in on preparing this dish felt worth it as she heard Monika expressed her amazement at the food in front of her.

“Wow, this looks amazing. Now I'm glad we didn't skip it.” Lia laughed as she went to the seat across from the younger woman, and she saw how Monika had a different look of hunger on her face this time. She poured them both a glass of red wine before she took a seat.

“Let's eat.” 

Lia watched Monika take a bite first, and the look on her face after the meat went into her mouth was almost orgasmic. God, it was taking a lot of her willpower not to just stand up and take Monika right there and then. The woman in front of her was more appetizing than the meal on her plate.

“How was it?” It was mortifying that her voice sounded a little choked up, and she cleared her throat before she embarrassed herself any further. 

“Heavenly. Better than the ones they serve at any expensive restaurant out there.” Monika moaned as she took another bite. If Lia didn’t know, she’d think that the woman was deliberately teasing her.

“Well, I’m flattered.” She tried to sound as normal as she could be, but she was already getting out of breath as she wondered about all the other sinful sounds that she could also get out of Monika. 

“Why aren’t you eating? You’re the one who kept insisting we get dinner first.” The younger woman said with her mouth still full, her cheeks looking puffy with the food that was stuffed inside. The sight was like a cold shower to Lia as she looked at how adorable the woman looked at that moment. She couldn’t help but laugh at that.

“Are you a child? Finish what you have in your mouth before you talk.” 

“You nag like a mom.” Monika swallowed before she stuck her tongue out at her. Lia just chuckled and shook her head at her silliness. She then proceeded to start eating as well, and hummed appreciatively at how delicious the steak was. No wonder Monika looked like she was having an orgasm when she tasted it. 

They ate in silence for a few minutes before Lia asked about the viewing party at Monika’s apartment last week. She realized that she never really asked about it in full detail, and Monika never told her anything more about it except for how they all had a great time. 

“By the way, how was the get together last week? I feel like I haven’t heard much about it.” She wasn’t usually the type of person who’d ask about every single thing that happens in the life of the person she was dating, but she felt like Monika was being unusually tight-lipped about it. And that just piqued Lia’s curiosity even more.

“Uh… nothing much. We had dinner, then watched the show. And we played a drinking card game after.” Oh? She didn’t mention anything about a drinking game before. “I didn’t participate in the drinking though.” Monika was quick to reassure her, as if she knew where her train of thought was going, “But I played the game. It was chaotic and fun and everyone was a good sport. It was nice to belong in something that I could call a team again. Even though I’m more of like their superior, it didn’t feel that way because they treated me like we’re all part of the same group.” The younger woman had a wistful smile on her face. Lia knew what she meant, as she thought about that time when they were all part of the same team, and she missed that feeling of belongingness. 

Ever since she left their crew, Lia had learned to stand independently, and reached and worked for her dreams all on her own. And after more than a decade, being alone was now something that Lia had gotten used to, and she even dared to say that it became her comfort zone. She had built up walls around herself, had never let anyone in and no one was able to get too close to her.

Everything changed when Monika came barging into her life again, and the younger woman thawed the heart that she thought was long cold and hard. It was ironic that the person who was the reason why she became like that in the first place, would also be the reason why she’d gamble her heart and let herself trust again. 

“But yeah, it was a lot of fun. I really wished you were there.” 

Lia just smiled tightly. The thought of being around Monika’s best friend still felt weird to her, especially with how their last interaction went. 

“And I, uh… actually, I wanted to tell you something about last week. It’s not a big deal, but I just wanted to let you know… Hyowon, she, uh–” 

The other woman got cut off by the sound of her phone ringing on the sofa. She quickly stood up, thanking whoever rang at that moment because she didn’t really want to know whatever it was Monika was going to say about her business partner. She wasn’t normally this petty, but something about Monika’s relationship with Hyowon makes her insecure in ways that she wouldn’t ever admit. 

“Hold that thought.” Lia said, walking to the direction of her ringing phone. She saw that it was an unknown number, so she just rejected the call, and put the phone on silent. She went back to her chair, and said in the most uninterested tone, “Sorry, what were you saying?” Lia didn’t meet her eyes, afraid that Monika would catch up on whatever she was feeling right now, and she really wasn’t in the mood to talk about this drama again. She knew that she needed to accept that Hyowon would always be an integral part in Monika’s life, and that she really needed to get over herself but today isn't that day yet.

“Nothing. Let’s talk about it later.” She looked up and saw that Monika had a nervous smile on her face. It seemed that the younger woman sensed that she still didn’t feel comfortable discussing topics about Monika’s best friend.

Lia nodded, agreeing to let whatever Monika was about to say go for now. But something was still bothering her about this whole ordeal about Monika and Hyowon living together, when Lia knew damn well about the latter’s feelings towards the woman in front of her. It felt unfair that Hyowon had that advantage over her. 

Lia knew that what she was about to say would be a little crazy, but would it be love if you’re not doing the most insane things?

“You know, my house is big enough to accommodate another person. And I have a spare room.” She broached the subject gently, observing Monika’s reaction. The woman just looked confused, still not catching up to what she was trying to say. “You’re welcome to stay with me, if you want. I know that it’s too soon to talk about moving in together, but it’s not going to be like that… yet. You’d be getting your own room.” Lia smiled, convincing the woman before her to consider her suggestion. 

Monika chuckled, and took a moment before she responded, “I appreciate the offer, but I don’t think that’s ideal. At least for now. We haven’t gotten through our first date yet.” Monika said carefully, as if she didn’t want to offend Lia by rejecting her.

“And you think living together with another woman who was being linked to you is ideal?” Lia didn’t mean for it to come out a bit snappy, but she needed to let this issue out as it had been bothering her ever since she got confirmation of Hyowon’s feelings for Monika.

“What? Lia, we’re just friends. So what if people are mistaking us for a couple? We both know that she’s not the one I like. And I’m not rejecting this offer because I preferred living with her. I just think that it’s too soon and I want us to move at a pace that we’re both comfortable with. I want to do this right. I like you too much to ruin this by prematurely moving in together.” 

Monika, articulate as ever. Why did Lia ever think that she’d win this argument? She knew that the woman was right, and that they shouldn’t be even talking about this on their first date. Lia was still bothered by the fact that Monika was living with someone who has feelings for her, and it’s not that she didn’t trust the woman, but she didn’t trust that Hyowon would not make a move on her. Well, she at least felt reassured that it was her who Monika has feelings for, and that notion lessened her worry.

“Fine. Okay.” Lia sighed, resigned. A smile was also growing on her face at what the woman said about how much she liked Lia. It was nice to know that Monika was that serious about her. She had the urge to giggle and stomp her feet on the floor like a giddy teenager at that thought.

“We can revisit this topic later, if you’d like.” She saw that Monika had a hopeful smile on her face, and she was glad that her idea wasn’t completely rejected. Even though she felt that it was too fast as well, she still didn’t mind sharing her space with Monika, and she genuinely would love it if she moved in with her. Seeing her every day, sharing a meal together, cuddling on the couch, getting to kiss her whenever she liked… It was a dream that Lia had dreamed of for years. There’s nothing that could make her happier than being able to spend her life with the woman she had been in love with for almost her whole adult life.

“Of course.” Lia smiled, her previous worries all but forgotten. At least for the time being.

“Your place is beautiful though. I’ve always pictured you to be living in a place like this. I knew how much you preferred the calm and quiet over the busy city life.” Monika said, longing in her tone. She was probably reminiscing about the days when they used to talk about their future. “When did you move in?” 

“About four years ago. I thought it’d be hard to make the decision to live so far away from work and from the city, but once I saw the area, I fell in love immediately.” 

“And you’ve been living here alone… for all those years?” Lia almost laughed at how badly Monika was failing at trying to subtly ask whether she was in a previous live-in relationship with anyone for the past few years.

“Actually, no.” Lia held back a laugh as she looked at Monika’s reaction. The woman had that unmistakable look of jealousy on her face. 

“Oh. Yeah, I suppose you’d have, uh, someone. It’d be impossible considering… you know.” Monika gestured to her as she explained.

“Considering what? Elaborate.” Lia chuckled. She was having too much fun teasing the younger woman.

“Well, you’re a beautiful, successful woman who’s also smart, talented and not to mention, has a stunning body. You’re literally every person’s dream girl.” Monika said, a blush appearing on her cheeks. 

“Is that why you like me? Because I have a stunning body?” Lia raised an eyebrow, smirking at the woman.

“No! I mean, I do appreciate that part about you, but it’s not a quality that I really care about if I like someone.” Monika put down the knife and fork and took a sip of her wine. It was endearing to see how flustered she looked at that moment. Lia couldn’t help but smile at her.

“While that’s flattering and all, I’m afraid you got the wrong idea. I’ve only been living with my dogs for the past years.” Lia finally took mercy on her, and she was amused at how relieved Monika looked. 

“Ah, so that’s what you meant.” Monika rubbed the back of her neck, seemingly embarrassed at her assumption, and probably about the way she rambled about how she was everyone’s dream girl. It was a great ego boost for Lia, though. She heard Monika clear her throat and asked, “Do you ever get lonely?” All embarrassment was gone from her face, and it was replaced with genuine curiosity. Lia was impressed at how easily she recovered.

She thought about Monika’s question before she spoke. It was true that Lia liked her solitude, and it had never crossed her mind to yearn for someone to share this space with. She was always content with the calmness of being alone, and she was happy living by herself and only her dogs to keep her company.

That was all before she met Monika again, and now, all she could ever think about is spending every waking moment with her. It was dangerous how Lia was getting too addicted with Monika’s presence again, and it was reminiscent of when she first fell in love with her, only this time, she couldn’t be bothered to care because she knew that the other woman was just as addicted as she was. She’s finally letting herself feel all the emotions she has for Monika without making herself feel guilty.

It took her a while to answer, and Monika already had a concerned look on her face. So, with a deep breath, she answered, “To be honest? I liked living alone. It gives me the peace of mind that I don’t get if I'm surrounded by a lot of people. I like the tranquility it offers.” Lia looked at Monika, a sad smile on her face and continued, “But recently, being alone doesn’t seem too appealing. There are days where I’d roll in my bed, hoping that there’d be someone there beside me who isn’t my dog.” They both chuckled. “I guess I’m now at that phase of my life where I’m craving for someone to share my days with.” She continued before Monika responded, “I’m not pressuring you or anything. I know we’ve already talked about this, and I’m not going to push until we’re both ready. And don’t worry about me getting lonely. My preference about my living situation just changed.” 

“I get what you mean. Believe me, I am this close to packing all of my stuff and just move in with you. But yeah…” Monika smiled, letting that statement hang in the air, both already aware of what she meant.

“I know and I understand. Besides, it would look a lot like we're the typical U-hauling Lesbians.” They laughed, and both picked up their forks and resumed eating, ending the subject. 

Conversation flowed easily between them, and after an hour of dining and chatting, they were now sitting at Lia's entertainment room, television open and waiting for their show to start. They took the bottle of wine with them and Lia was cradling a glass, as they sat as closely as they could get beside each other. Monika's arm was wrapped around her shoulders, and Lia's legs were propped up on the other woman's lap. Monika’s other hand was resting on top of her knees, unmoving. She appreciated how Monika was being a gentlewoman at that moment, but Lia wished that the woman would just put that hand higher or just take the hint that she was basically offering herself to the younger woman. 

They were both facing each other, talking, and Lia was already feeling the buzz of the alcohol as she kept giggling even when Monika wasn't even saying anything funny.

“Are you drunk?” She heard Monika amusedly ask. While she was feeling a little tingly and giddy, she wasn't drunk. She still had plans to take her outside her yard where she also prepared something for Monika and she had to stay sober for that. 

“No. I'm just… really happy.” It was true. Her giddiness was more due to the fact that she was just glad to be in Monika's arms again. And maybe the alcohol made her strip down her reservations and made her express what she truly wanted to do at that moment. 

She felt the arm around her tighten its hold, pushing her further against the woman. Lia’s smile grew even wider as Monika pecked her on the lips. “Me too.” the younger woman said in a hushed tone, the same joyful smile was on her face.

Their moment got ruined when Monika’s phone vibrated multiple times, as if someone was spamming her notifications. Lia heard the other woman groan as Monika took a glance at the phone lighting up beside her. 

“You should learn how to turn them all off by now.” Lia chuckled. “You’re pretty famous now.”

“Don’t remind me. While I do appreciate that my exposure from the show tripled the number of students in my academy, I still need time to get used to all of this attention. I even have fans now! Like, there are people who use my pictures as their profile pictures on social media. It’s insane.” Monika said, incredulous at the fame she got overnight. Lia was also pretty impressed at how they went viral even with only one episode. “But at least this attention is helping with the funding at the studio. We haven’t had that number of attendees in years.”

“I’m happy for you. And it’s only going to go up from now on.” Lia smiled at her, “You were pretty charming in the show. They’re going to love you even more.” 

“It’s all thanks to you. I don’t know if I could’ve been that comfortable on set if it wasn’t for you.” Monika said, a blush forming on her cheeks, probably at the compliment Lia gave her. “Even when we were on bad terms on that first day, your presence still gave me some kind of comfort. I was able to show my competitive side because of you.” Monika cheekily smiled at her, “And that was what the people seemed to like, apparently.”

“I know. They do love a good banter.” 

“And you didn’t need to do a pop-up class in my studio to give me a boost.” Oh, they forgot to schedule that one. Or maybe Monika intentionally didn’t bring it up because of how stubborn she was in wanting to handle it all by herself.

“I could still do it, you know. At least now you wouldn’t think that I’m doing this just because I feel bad for you.”

“So you feel bad for me?” Monika was starting to get a little defensive. This woman’s pride was both charming and annoying.

“No, I wanted to be useful. You were struggling and you clearly needed the help. There’s no shame in that.”

“I know…” Lia felt relieved that Monika seemed to relax at that, “I guess I just wanted you to see how cool I was. And the part where I’m failing to keep my business afloat? Definitely not cool. ” the woman laughed self consciously. 

“Monika, you’re one of the coolest people I know. Nothing could ever change that.” She saw Monika blush a little at those words, giving her a small smile.

But Monika’s phone chimed again, not giving her a chance to respond. Seemingly annoyed that their moment got ruined, the woman finally took it and put it on Do Not Disturb mode.

“You want me to help you fix your notifications?” Lia offered. 

“No, it’s fine, I’ve already tweaked the settings last week. I only left the notifications turned on for the people on my contacts and people I follow. A friend must’ve sent multiple messages or something.” Monika said, distracted as she looked at her lockscreen. She peeked and saw that they’re notifications from Instagram. 

“You can check it out, I don’t mind.”

“It’s okay. They can wait.” Lia saw how Monika’s interest was now on her phone, and it seemed that she wanted to take a look at what was making her phone blow up.

“It’s fine, honestly. The show hasn’t started yet anyway. It might be important.” She assured the younger woman.

Lia saw how Monika hesitated, but after a few seconds, she sighed and finally took her phone.

“I’m sorry, I’ll turn it off right after.” Lia tried to look at the television to give the woman some privacy, but it actually proved to be difficult in their position. Her whole body faced Monika’s direction so it was hard not to look at the woman’s phone screen as she unlocked it. 

She saw how Monika immediately clicked on the notifications from Instagram on her lock screen, and it opened to a message that contained that she was mentioned in a Story. It looked like it was Jihye’s account from the small profile picture that she could see.

Monika clicked on the Story that she was tagged in, and Lia couldn’t hide the gasp that came out of her even if she could, as the photo on the Story popped up.

It was two women kissing, and they both suspiciously looked a lot like Monika and… Hyowon?

“Fuck.” Was all that she heard from Monika. The  woman immediately locked her phone, and sat there motionless, avoiding eye contact with Lia.

“Who was that?” She tried to sound as calm as possible. All sorts of dangerous thoughts were already running through her head, and if Monika didn’t clarify what she saw as soon as possible, she didn’t know what she could do at that moment. 

“This is what I was trying to tell you earlier.” Monika said, gently, sounding apologetic. “It’s not what it looks like, I swear. We were playing and it was just a dare during Hyowon’s turn and maybe she was too drunk to care about what she was doing at that moment so she, uh, kissed me.” Monika looked at Lia then, her eyes pleading. “Believe me, I was taken by surprise as well. I didn’t know that she was gonna do that!”

Lia didn’t know whether to trust what Monika was saying right now, because her mind was too clouded with anger, confusion and hurt. She entangled herself from the woman, put down her wine glass on the coffee table, and sat a little further away from her, giving them some distance. Her eyes were looking at the opposite wall, unseeing, her breathing became labored as she finally settled on the emotion that outweighed everything.

She felt heartbroken.

“What was the dare?” She said in the most alarmingly neutral tone, despair lingering on the surface, threatening to break through. 

“Uh…” She heard how Monika was taken aback by that, and she knew that the woman already had a sense of what Lia was feeling right now, as she continued in the most careful voice, “I can’t remember exactly but I think it was uh, kiss who you think is the most beautiful in the room or something.” Monika chuckled nervously, “She thought it would be funny if she kissed me. She told me it was just a joke.” 

“And you honestly believed that?” Lia said, sarcastic. She finally looked at Monika, raising an eyebrow at her. Now she was just becoming angry. Monika just looked confused.

“Of course. What else would it be?” 

Lia wanted to pull out her hair at how stubbornly clueless the woman is. How is she always unaware about people’s feelings for her? 

“Shit, Monika. Why are you so oblivious?” Lia hesitated whether she’d continue what she was about to say or not. She didn’t feel good about revealing something about another person even when it’s someone she didn’t like, but she was so annoyed with the woman in front of her that she had to say something. “Hyowon obviously likes you!” 

Monika looked genuinely lost. God, Lia almost felt bad for her.

“What? No! Why– she– no. She didn’t even say anything to me. How could you possibly know that?” 

“Trust me, you don’t wanna know.” Lia thought about that tense interaction when Hyowon visited their set, where she finally got confirmation about the latter’s feelings for their friend. “Why do you think we haven’t hung out until now?” 

“I don’t know! You haven’t even hung out with Jihye or Jiyoung either!”

“I’ve invited them to do some classes in my studio. We’re not hanging out but we keep in touch.” Lia continued, “Now tell me, who posted the photo?” She asked, as if she was trying to prove a point.

Monika paused, and she still had a confused look on her face. “I’m not sure, it had been reposted and shared by some of my friends that I don’t know who originally posted it.”

“Check it.” Lia commanded, leaving no room for argument.

Monika sighed, and unlocked her phone again. “I don’t know why that’s relevant, I told you it’s not a…” she heard her pause, and saw that Monika’s eyes widened in surprise at what she saw, “big deal. Shit fuck.”

Patience running thin, she grabbed the phone from Monika’s hands, to the woman’s shock.

What she saw made her hands shake in anger, and she saw red. 

The person who posted it was none other than Hyowon herself. And she had the nerve to put a little heart emoticon on the bottom right. Making it look like it was something more than a dare, if Monika was telling the truth.

The story automatically closed which then led her to see some of the messages from her friends. She saw that most of the message previews were people congratulating them, and some were even saying how they always knew. Lia couldn’t help but feel like her heart was crumbling. Hyowon basically announced to the world that Monika and her were more than just friends. Where would that leave Lia? 

“Congratulations. Looks like you finally got yourself a girlfriend.” She felt like crying at that moment, frustrated and angry that this night that she hoped would turn out to be one of the best days of her life, was suddenly turning into one of the worst nightmares of her life.

“No. Don’t give me that. That’s not my fault and you know it.” She was starting to hear the desperation in Monika’s voice. Lia was aware that Monika wasn’t really at fault, but she couldn’t help but blame the woman for it. What if she was also leading Hyowon on because of how clueless she was? What if she gave her the wrong idea? What if Monika’s actions led Hyowon to think that it was okay to post that picture?

She stood up, because she was already feeling the familiar quivering of her lips and the stinging in her eyes as tears threatened to fall. She was frightened that once she let the tears out, she wouldn’t be able to stop them. And Lia didn’t want to break down in front of Monika. The woman didn’t deserve to see Lia cry over her right now. 

But Monika had other plans, as she took a hold of Lia’s hand. “Where are you going?”

“I need some air. I can’t do this right now.” Lia said, breath shaking.

“Lia, please. This is just a misunderstanding. I’ll fix it, I promise.” 

“How? The internet is probably having a feast right now! There are probably a hundred articles being released about you and your girlfriend right at this moment.” Lia was already screeching, and to make matters worse, a stray tear finally fell on her face. She angrily swiped it before it could fall further down her chin.

That motion made Monika look at her in concern, as she saw the woman stood up, and gently cradled her head, wiping some of the tears that escaped. She was still furious, but damn it if her heart didn’t swell at that simple action.

“I’ll tell them the truth. I’ll tell them that she’s not my girlfriend. And that I’m dating someone else.” Monika whispered and talked to her like the slightest volume in her voice would break Lia.

“And risk people getting mad at you for kissing other women while you’re in a… relationship?” Lia felt awkward at the term, still unsure where they currently stand right now. They haven’t even talked about being in a relationship yet, and now they’d be forced to come out because of a misunderstanding. “You know how ridiculous people can get over dating scandals. They’re going to eat you alive.” Lia warned her. As much as she wanted Monika to fix this, she was just as concerned about how the backlash would affect her. She didn’t want the woman to go through that. She wouldn’t even wish it upon her worst enemy.

“I don’t care.” Monika said, conviction in her words. 

“You’re being naive.” Lia rolled her eyes. Leave it to Monika to be as righteous as ever, not caring about the consequences.

“Well, I can’t just sit by and let the whole world think that I’m in love with someone else.” She felt Monika’s thumb gently caressing her right cheek. Lia almost didn’t register what Monika just said because of that action. 

She was about to argue even more when the words that left Monika’s mouth finally hit her.

“What?” Lia said, stunned.

“I said,” Monika stepped closer, “that I’m in love with someone else.”

Lia couldn’t hear anything but the sound of her heart thumping in her chest as she heard Monika repeat what she just said, and she stood there, mouth agape. 

“Wh.. who?” Lia wanted to smack herself at how dumb she sounded right now.

Monika just chuckled quietly, her eyes shining. The woman in front of her looked at her like she was the most precious thing in the world. Lia couldn’t help but drown in those expressive eyes.

“Lia, I’m in love with you.”

Chapter Text

It felt like time stood still, as Lia processed the words that left Monika’s mouth, the words that she herself couldn’t say yet. She had no choice but to admire Monika even more for being courageous enough and say what she truly felt, and all anger and hurt from earlier all but went away. Lia was so overwhelmed with all the love she felt for her right now that all she was able to do at the moment was to surge forward and kiss Monika. She tried to put everything she was feeling and everything she wanted to say into that kiss, and she hoped that Monika would get the message.

Lia felt tears of joy involuntarily fall as they kissed, and Monika must’ve noticed it because she pulled away slightly and looked at her with worry in her eyes. 

“Are you okay? Why are you crying?” Monika said in the softest voice. That made Lia want to cry even more. 

She shook her head and just smiled at her, easing Monika’s concern. She was still choked up with emotion that she didn’t trust herself to speak, so Lia just pulled her in and captured her lips again. Monika didn’t protest and didn’t question why she was crying anymore, much to Lia’s relief. 

As their kiss got heated and the tears already stopped, Lia tried to crouch down and reach for the remote on the coffee table in front of them, turning off the television.

Lia knew what was about to happen and she couldn’t let anything distract them or make them stop what they were doing. She had waited long enough for this. 

“I thought we’re going to watch the show.” Monika said, backing her on the couch. Lia laid on top of it and Monika moved to straddle her, their lips staying connected.

“Shut up.” Lia left Monika’s lips to reach up and bite on her earlobe. 

“Ah… yes, ma’am.” 

Lia chucked deeply and continued licking the shell of her ear. She stopped for a second and whispered closely on that very ear, “Good girl.”

“God…”

“It’s just Lia, dear.” She couldn’t help teasing Monika, feeling her tremble on top of her. 

Lia’s amusement stopped when Monika moved to suck on her neck, her lips making a descent to her collarbones. She felt the woman’s hands pushing one of the thin sleeves of her dress, then kissed her shoulders. The kisses were slow, delicate, almost ticklish, and every single contact made Lia shiver.

Monika’s mouth moved from her shoulders, leaving a trail of wet kisses until she reached the top swell of her breasts. Lia’s breathing was already becoming labored and she knew that Monika could see how hard her chest was rising and falling. It became worse when Monika kissed the space between her breasts and continued going down on the exposed skin until she reached the material of her dress. When she reached it, Monika’s lips made her way unhurriedly back up again to her collarbone, then to her neck, her jaw, and back to her lips. She loved how the younger woman took her time exploring every inch of her skin that she could reach that Lia couldn’t help but moan into the open-mouthed kiss.

Craving for more, Lia finally made her move as her hands went to Monika’s legs under her dress, and made her way up to the woman’s ass and cupped it. That made Monika moan into the kiss as well.

Her hands took its time caressing Monika’s smooth legs up and down, leaving goosebumps in its wake. But Lia wanted more, so she reached for the hem of the woman’s dress, lifted it up, exposing her bottom, and bunched it up to her ribcage. Monika broke the kiss and took off the dress over her head herself. 

Monika was now left in only her matching black bra and underwear and the view took Lia’s breath away. Monika was probably the most beautiful woman Lia had ever laid her eyes on. And she had already met countless celebrities in the course of her career.

She was probably being biased but she couldn’t care less.

“You’re gorgeous.” Lia said, and even that felt like an understatement. No words could describe how stunning the woman was. 

“So are you.” Monika smiled beautifully at her, and gently pulled her up. She kissed the skin between her neck and shoulders, as her hands went to the zipper on her back, carefully pulling it down. Lia felt the sleeves of her dress sliding down from her arm, so she pulled it down over her arms, revealing her strapless bra. Lia pulled away from Monika for a moment to stand up a bit and removed her dress completely. The gasp that she heard from the other woman made her smirk.

Lia had always been confident in her toned, petite body, but she felt the complete opposite about her sex appeal. Maybe because of that one comment from someone she knew about her having a great face and body but they didn’t consider her to be “hot”. Even though she knew how weird that comment was, she couldn’t help but take it to heart and believe what that person said. 

But looking at the way Monika stared at her in that moment, the intense look of desire and her mouth slightly open, that insecurity about her lack of sex appeal was forgotten, at least for now.

Lia walked slowly towards the couch where Monika was kneeling, and put her hand under her chin and raised it so she could kiss the beautiful woman in front of her. Monika’s hands immediately went to her hips, traveling to her back to pull her even closer. Lia moaned at the feeling of their bra-clad breasts rubbing against each other. She knew they had to pause before they completely did it right there, so without breaking the kiss, Lia took Monika’s hand and pulled her to stand up. She reluctantly released Monika’s lips, thinking it was faster that way and led the way outside her entertainment room, back to the living room and to a hallway leading to her bedroom.

As they reached her bedroom door, Lia stopped and turned to Monika, “Once we go inside, I don’t think I’ll be able to stop. So if you’re having second thoughts about this or if you’re still not ready—”

“Lia. I need to make love to you right now or else I’m literally going to explode.” 

“So romantic.” Lia meant to say it sarcastically, but her breathless voice betrayed her. 

Monika chuckled softly, and put her hands on both sides of her face, “I want you. I want this. I am more than ready.” The woman crashed their lips together and Lia took it as a sign to reach for the doorknob behind her and opened the door. They went inside and she felt herself being backed to the direction of her bed.

When the back of her knees hit the mattress, she sat on it and dragged herself to situate herself on the pillows, Monika following her and crawling on top of her, their lips inseparable. 

Lia reached for Monika’s back and unclasped her bra, tossing the material on the side of her bed. She didn’t waste any time and fondled her soft breasts, her thumb gracing the woman’s nipples that were gradually getting harder. Lia smirked when she heard Monika moan into the kiss. She took that opportunity to pull away from her mouth and slid lower until her face reached the woman’s chest. She took a second to appreciate the glorious sight, then finally licked and nipped around one of Monika’s breasts, careful not to touch her nipple. She chuckled when she heard Monika groan and adjusted her position so that Lia would take the hint and stop teasing her. 

She took mercy on her as she finally took a nipple in her mouth, and sucked on it softly, earning her a very loud moan from the woman on top of her. Lia definitely liked how vocal Monika was, and the sound was music to her ears.

She continued licking and sucking on the soft flesh of her bud. “You were making these sounds over dinner earlier and I wanted nothing but to ravish you right there and then.” She said a little muffled, as she bit on the hard nipple gently, earning her another delicious moan from Monika.

“Ah… I’ve wanted to ravish you ever since I first laid my eyes on you this evening.” Monika said, panting.

Lia switched to the other breast, giving it equal attention, and swirled her tongue over it multiple times, repeating the action that got her the loudest response. Monika was breathing heavily on top of her, and Lia felt a little proud that she was doing a great job so far based on the woman’s reactions, despite being a little rusty in this area. 

She wasn’t a virgin, but her sex life had been pretty much nonexistent ever since she started crushing on her best friend. And she had always dedicated herself to her career and work for the past decade, not having time for such dalliances. And she was okay with that, she wasn’t interested in anyone anyway. 

Her train of thoughts got cut off when Monika suddenly sat up, her mouth making a popping sound when the breast that was on her mouth was pulled away from her. Then she found herself getting pulled by her hand, making her sit up. She felt the younger woman’s hands reach for the clasp of her bra, removing it, her upper body bared to the woman in front of her. 

“Fuck. Wow. You’re a goddess.” The awe in Monika’s voice was evident, and that made Lia smile. She was worried that she wouldn’t live up to Monika’s expectations, past insecurities still creeping up in her mind, especially now that she was finally baring herself fully to the other woman. 

“Can I?” Monika asked, as her hands hovered near Lia’s breasts. She was too sweet and respectful for her own good. 

“Yes. I told you earlier, you can do anything you want…” Lia smirked, “touch me anywhere, taste me… anywhere…” she went closer and whispered in Monika’s ear, “Fuck me, however you want.” 

Lia heard the small moan that came out of Monika, “You’re making me crazy.” The woman breathed out, then Monika’s hands finally touched her, massaging her breasts. Monika gently pushed her on her back again in the process, and she almost screamed when Monika went down and sucked on one nipple, her hand playing and flicking the other. The stimulation was already too much for her and she could feel herself dripping on her underwear. She put her hands on the woman’s hair, grabbing a fistful as Monika continued giving attention to her breasts.

But another part of her body was in dire need of more attention, so she squeezed her legs to relieve some of the pressure down there. 

Monika seemed to read her mind when she felt her leave her breasts, and her lips made a move downwards, traveling from between her chest, then to her stomach, and the woman positioned herself in front of her where she needed her the most. Lia could feel Monika’s warm breath on it and she was already getting dizzy with anticipation. There was probably a visible wet patch on her underwear but she was already too gone to be embarrassed by it. She shivered when Monika kissed her inner thighs, licking and sucking on the skin close to her underwear. 

“You smell absolutely divine.” Monika said, licking her groin. 

And then the woman sat up, took a hold of the waistband of her panties and slid it down slowly. She lifted her hips to help her and when it was finally out of the way, Lia saw how dark Monika’s eyes got, looking at her as she laid there, fully naked.

She pulled Monika down and kissed her deeply, feeling too exposed with the way the woman was staring for far too long. While she enjoyed the unadulterated lust in Monika’s eyes, she was about to lose her mind if the other woman didn’t continue what she was doing. 

Lia felt Monika’s tongue slide into her mouth, breathing softly at the feeling. 

She wondered how that tongue would feel on her dripping pu–

And then her mind went blank when she suddenly felt Monika’s right hand on her wet entrance, making her scream. That first contact made her want to come right there and then, and the feeling of the woman’s slender fingers slowly going up and down her folds made her even soaked.

“I love how absolutely wet you are.” Monika sucked on a spot on her neck, making her even more dizzy. “I can’t wait to taste you.”

Fuck. “Then do it.” Lia said, breathing heavily. 

“As you wish.” Monika smirked, and crawled down on her body, not breaking eye contact. The suspense was absolutely killing her, and she almost put her hand on Monika’s head to hasten her descent.

The wait was definitely worth it when she finally felt that warm tongue on her slit, making her whimper from the pleasure. 

The feeling was definitely much better than anything she could ever dream of. (Yes, she may have dreamt of this moment ever since she felt attracted to the woman.)

The pace was slow and thorough, and it was torture. Lia was too sensitive and aroused and she needed that release as soon as possible. 

“Monika… faster…” She didn’t care that it sounded like she was begging. She needed Monika to build up that pace or else she’ll do it herself.

The woman chuckled but thankfully heeded that order, her pace increasing significantly. Lia was whimpering and moaning at how good it felt, and when Monika sucked on her clit, she let out a particularly loud sob of pleasure.

“Ah! There… Don’t stop.” 

The woman continued giving attention to her clit, alternating between sucking and licking at a steady pace and Lia almost came at the feeling of intense pleasure. 

Then Monika suddenly inserted two fingers into her entrance, matching the tempo of her tongue and pounded into her. She was close, and Monika probably knew because of how she was almost screaming now. Thank fucking goodness she lived in the mountains and no nearby neighbors could hear them right now.

“Fuck, you’re so hot.” Monika said as she continued sucking on her clit, her fingers working at a fast and steady motion. She looked down and the view of the younger woman eating her out, finally did it for her. She screamed as she came, and Monika was relentless and still kept going, prolonging her orgasm and Lia sounded like she was being attacked with her loud wails. Monika kept going for almost a few more minutes until Lia was able to reach her third orgasm with no pause.

Lia was the one who gave up as she gently pushed Monika’s face away from her throbbing clit, trying to catch her breath. The fingers stilled, but remained inside.

“That was…” Lia tried to look for the best word for that experience. If Lia only knew how good Monika was in bed, she should’ve probably confessed to her a long time ago. 

She’s kidding, of course. She couldn’t even say “I love you” back right now.

“Mind-blowing, right?” Monika said, a smug look on her face and crawled back up until they were face to face. The woman captured her lips, and Lia tasted herself on her. 

She whimpered when she felt the fingers inside of her moving, Monika finally bringing it out to put it in her mouth, greedily sucking on her cum. “You taste so fucking good.” Monika’s eyes rolling back. She could feel herself getting wet again at the sight. 

“I bet you taste just as good.” Lia said, and Monika paused in her movements and looked at her, her eyes lighting up with excitement. Taking advantage of Monika’s distraction, Lia was easily able to flip them, and she now found herself straddling the other woman. “You’re wearing too many clothes.” Lia grabbed Monika’s underwear, temporarily kneeling on her side to make way, removed it and went back to straddling her.

Monika laughed, “It’s just my panties!” 

“Exactly.” Lia stopped and took a moment to appreciate the naked body under her. She put her hands on the woman’s sides, caressing her soft skin and she felt how Monika shivered at the touch. 

Lia couldn’t believe that they were finally doing it. It still didn’t hit her earlier because of how hazy her mind was but now that she could at least think straight, sudden emotions threatened to overwhelm her again and she tried to hold back tears that she could feel bubbling up. She’d already cried earlier, she didn’t want Monika to be weirded out if she cried again right now.

Monika was still unaware of the extent of Lia’s feelings, and she was still undecided when to let the other woman know about it. While she was over the moon that Monika already confessed to her and she felt the same way, telling her what she truly felt all those years ago felt like she was baring her whole soul to her, and Lia wasn’t ready to reach that level of vulnerability yet.

She had built walls around her for far too long that she still didn’t know how to fully break it yet. Yes, she felt comfortable enough to let Monika in again, but she hated that she still had these reservations that prevented her from being real to the younger woman.

“Hey, what are you thinking about?” She heard Monika say in the softest tone, her look of want was replaced with concern.

Lia shook her head, and smiled at her reassuringly, “Nothing, just wondering about what you taste like.” It wasn’t technically a lie since she was really thinking about it earlier. But it wasn’t entirely truthful either. 

To Lia’s relief, the woman was convinced, and Monika’s eyes darkened with desire. Then she lowered herself down, their lips meeting in a passionate kiss, her hands wandering to the woman’s breasts, squeezing the round flesh. 

After a few minutes, Lia broke the kiss to go down to Monika's chest, replacing her hands with her mouth, and licked on her nipple enthusiastically. She took her time sucking and flicking her tongue on it, giving the same amount of attention on both breasts, and she knew that the woman liked it if her soft moans were any indication.

“Please… I need you.” Lia heard Monika whimper. 

She easily complied, and her hand went to the woman’s entrance. It was soaked and Lia moaned at the feeling of how wet and slippery she was. Her mouth stayed on Monika’s breasts, sucking a nipple while she rubbed on the woman’s folds. She smirked as Monika let out a loud cry of pleasure, and she increased the pace of her fingers. 

“Inside…” Monika said, and Lia inserted two fingers, easily sliding through because of how damp she was. She teased her a bit by going awfully slow, and she almost laughed when the woman let out an audible groan.

“Harder…” Lia still kept that steady pace, and looked at the woman under her, raising an eyebrow, as if waiting for something. Monika just rolled her eyes despite looking absolutely helpless. “Lia… please.” 

Hearing the magic word, she finally picked up the pace and fucked her just the way Monika wanted it. 

“Ah… just like that… please, I’m… close.” 

Lia maintained what she was doing, biting softly on her nipple, the sound of her fingers going in and out of her slick entrance and Monika’s cries filling the room.

Then before she let her hit her orgasm, Lia crawled down to the woman’s vagina and sucked on her clit, finally having a taste. She was sweet and salty at the same time, and Lia was already getting addicted to the taste and smell. She lapped on her generously, and when she sucked on it a little harder, Monika let out a long, loud sob. 

“Fuck!” Lia heard her scream. She knew that Monika already came, but she still continued with her ministrations, like how the woman did to her earlier. “Ah… don’t stop!” Well, she was glad that Monika seemed to like it that way.

She pumped into her faster and harder, and with one last cry from the woman, probably hitting another orgasm, Lia finally slowed down her movements. She removed her fingers and licked it just the way Monika did earlier, making sure that Lia was making eye contact with the woman as she did it.

After Lia licked her fingers clean, she was still craving for that addicting taste of Monika, so with no hesitations, she went back and lapped on the younger woman’s cunt, sucking her clean. 

“Lia, fuck, let me breathe… Ah… yes, right there.” Lia chuckled as she continued eating her out. She only meant to get another taste, but it seemed that Monika was still down for another round. Her tongue moved in a circular motion around her clit, keeping a swift but steady tempo. She felt Monika’s hand taking a handful of her hair, and saw how her head was thrown back. The veins on her neck was popping out, beads of sweat glittering the woman’s skin. It was a magnificent sight, and Lia wanted to take a picture if only she could.

She heard a long moan as Monika hit another orgasm, and Lia finally let her come down from her high as she crawled back up and kissed her neck, before she went for her lips. The kiss tasted like sex, and it was making Lia’s mind heady.

“Good thing you live in the middle of nowhere. Who knew we could be so loud.” Monika voiced out the thought that came to her mind earlier. They both laughed at that, acknowledging how much of a screamer they both were.

Then as their laughter died down, Lia found herself hovering on top of Monika, and she saw how the latter was looking at her with love in her eyes. She was so entranced that she couldn’t look away, even though her heart felt like bursting with the sudden onslaught of feelings that made itself known again. 

Lia badly wanted to tell her how much she loved her, but her words were stuck on her tongue. She opened her mouth, trying to get the words out, but nothing came out. The fear of getting her heart broken again bubbled up to the surface, and Lia knew that she still wasn’t ready to lay herself bare to the other woman. 

At least emotionally. 

That wouldn’t stop her from wanting to hear it again from Monika though. 

“Did you mean it?”

Monika cutely scrunched her forehead for a moment in confusion, then Lia saw the clarity in her eyes, seeming to get what Lia was asking, and gave her a bright smile.

“Yes.” Monika said, conviction in her words, “You know, I already had this plan to tell you right after our date was over. Like, after it went well and everything. I really wanted to say it during a romantic moment.” The woman sighed, clear disappointment in her eyes. “I’m sorry for getting us into another fight again. This wouldn’t have happened if I just told Hyowon about us, and if I just told you about the kiss the moment it happened.” 

If Lia was still mad at her, she would’ve probably agreed with her and said that yes, it’s all your fault, but she was still feeling light from what they did just now that she couldn’t find it in herself to stay mad at the woman. So Lia just smiled at her, and shook her head slightly, signifying that she wasn’t mad anymore, and that it wasn’t her fault.

Monika continued, and she lifted her hand to tuck a strand of hair on Lia’s ear, “I’m sorry for the way I said it, but I’m not sorry that I said it.” The woman smiled and took a breath, “I love you, Lia Kim.” 

Lia could feel her lower lip starting to tremble so she bit on it, trying to supress the tears that were suddenly coming up again. She felt bad that she still wasn’t able to say it back right now, and she wished that she was brave enough to be vulnerable.

“You don’t have to say it back. I just wanted to let you know how I feel, and how serious I am about you.” Monika said, caressing her cheek.

She couldn’t say it back but that doesn’t mean that she couldn’t express how she felt, so she leaned down on Monika's lips and kissed her, pushing her mouth against her. She kept kissing her until the need for air came up, and they reluctantly broke apart. 

Lia could feel Monika’s warm breath blowing against her face. Monika’s eyes were still closed and she looked deliciously flushed from the multiple orgasms Lia gave her earlier. Lia waited until she opened her eyes, and they both stared at each other, full of affection in their look. 

“I…okay.” Lia finally said, giving Monika a smile as she nodded her head, accepting the woman’s confession.

She just hoped that someday, she’d be able to say those three words back. 

Chapter Text

“Wow, this is amazing.”

They walked outside through the sliding door in the living room, Monika holding a small charcuterie board on one hand, and a glass of non-alcoholic champagne on the other. They were only wearing fluffy robes on, completely naked underneath as they were too tired to dress up. 

She followed Lia towards her backyard patio, where there are couches and chairs along the wall and the space was decorated with outdoor string lights overhead, giving the space a cozy but a very romantic feel. 

Monika set down the board and her glass, Lia placing her glass of wine as well and went to the small fire pit in front of them.

“Give me a minute, I’ll just get this fire started.” 

“Do you need any help?” Monika said as she walked a little closer to where Lia was crouched down. She didn’t have any experience with it but she wanted to at least offer some assistance just in case Lia needed it.

“No, it’s fine, thank you. You can just sit over there.” Lia looked up at her, smiling. 

“Are you sure?” Monika didn’t know how she’d be of help exactly, but it still didn’t feel right that she’s not helping Lia in some way. 

“Yes. Now go, sit.” Lia said, certainty in her voice, and leaving no room for argument. But Monika was still reluctant to leave her so she remained there, unmoving, until she felt Lia gently pushing her legs away to get her to move. 

With a laugh, she finally went to sit on the couch and watched the woman expertly get the fire started.

After a few minutes and the firepit was successfully lit up, Lia was now sitting beside Monika on the couch, sipping on her wine while Monika looked at her, smiling goofily.

Lia was staring at the scenery in front of them, probably unaware that Monika was gazing at her like a lovesick fool. “This view is breathtaking, isn’t it?” Monika heard her say.

“Yeah, it is. It’s beautiful.” Lia must’ve sensed that Monika was looking at her as she turned her head and finally met her eyes. The older woman probably understood what Monika meant as she could see the slight redness on Lia’s cheek and she let out a shy laugh, shaking her head fondly at Monika. 

The way Lia laughs was probably one of Monika’s most favorite things about her. She liked how carefree her face looked, her eyes crinkling at the corner, and how toothy her smile was. It was charming and Monika couldn’t help but melt at the sight. 

Monika was still feeling giggly as she kept thinking about what they just did earlier, and how she couldn’t believe that it finally happened. Truth be told, she was still processing everything that happened tonight, and there are still some things that they needed to talk about and sort out, but she couldn’t be bothered to think about that right now especially when Lia was beside her, laughing, her cheeks rosy from the wine, and her skin radiant under the light of the moon. Her face was so bare that she could see the freckles sprinkled across her cheeks and nose, and even that was so attractive to Monika. 

And she was also elated that her confession had been received positively, since it was the source of her dilemma for the past week. She had been stressing about whether to finally tell Lia what she felt, and how to tell her, or if it was the right time. She thought about it long and hard, because it was a decision that scared the shit out of her. And no, she wasn’t scared about her own feelings. She was afraid of Lia, and how she would take it. 

She had to admit that to some, it may feel like they were moving too fast. But in Monika’s case, she was someone who tends to fall in love with a person quickly but also falls out of love after just a week. The fact that her feelings of attraction, desire, and affection for Lia only grew as time went by, Monika knew that she was certain about her, and she knew that she was going to be in it for the long run. 

Besides, Lia wasn’t just any other person. She was once her best friend, the person who was always there for her, the person whom she used to share her dreams with. Back then, Lia was the only one she felt comfortable to be her true self with, remembering the time when she received the most heartbreaking news of her life and Lia was the only person she was able to cry her eyes out to. She was her safety net and one of the most precious people in her life. 

To be honest, Monika didn’t expect that things would turn out the way it did for them right now. She didn’t know that their fresh start would lead to something like this. Monika tried to pinpoint the exact moment when she started developing feelings for her, and she found that that love was always there, it just manifested into a different shape. Where once was love for a friend, now it is love that makes you feel like you cannot breathe if that person wasn’t in your life. A love that makes you want to scream on top of your lungs and let the whole world know how much you love them. 

Lia was someone that Monika had always admired, and she was proud of the woman that she had become. But her achievements weren't the reason why Monika fell for her. No, it was because of how wonderful she is as a person. 

That moment when Lia helped her despite still being mad at her, and even going as far as threatening their producer about quitting if she didn’t take Monika back? It was something that made Monika realize how Lia was still the same kind person who cared about her. Monika had encountered a lot of people where fame and success changed them, and she was glad that Lia wasn’t one of them.

And maybe it was the tension, too, and the intense emotions that Lia brought out in her that she hadn’t felt in a long time that made Monika see her former best friend in a different light. Mixed feelings about missing the other woman, about how incredibly attractive she was (especially when she’s angry), the exhilaration of competing with her left her developing something for the woman that she hadn’t considered before. 

And now Monika is too far gone, and knowing herself, she knew that she wouldn’t be able to hide her feelings for Lia anymore, and so she had made the decision to finally tell her. 

She was ecstatic that it didn’t turn out to be a complete disaster, and she wasn’t totally rejected.

Monika was suddenly brought back to the present by Lia snapping her finger in front of her face. She realized that she had been staring at the woman the entire time in silence, and it must’ve made her uncomfortable. 

“I hope the sex didn’t break your brain, dear.” Lia chuckled deeply, “You’ve been staring at my face the entire time I’ve been sitting here.” 

“It’s a beautiful face, can’t help it.” Monika just shrugged cooly, like her insides weren't doing somersaults at the word sex coming out of Lia’s mouth. 

“Flattery will get you nowhere.” Lia grinned, obviously liking the compliment.

Monika took a sip of her champagne, “Hmm, we’ll see about that.” She said as she winked at the woman.

Lia just rolled her eyes, but a smile remained on her face. Then after a few seconds, Monika saw the change in her expression as Lia became a little serious, like she just remembered something unpleasant.

Monika sighed. She knew damn well what just went through Lia’s mind. Well, it’s time to face the music, she guessed. 

“I think we should talk about and plan how we’re going to clarify some things. In regards to that photo earlier, I mean.” Monika started saying. She tried to look at Lia’s reaction, trying to see how mad she still was about the issue.

Lia’s face just remained impassive, “I was just about to ask you that. What did you have in mind?”

At least Lia wasn’t mad anymore, and she looked like she was willing to help figure this out with Monika. She heaved a little sigh of relief at that. 

“I think I should just tell the truth. I’d clarify that I’m not in a relationship with Hyowon.” Then Monika hesitated on her next words, “And I know that I told you earlier that I was gonna tell everyone who I’m really with, but I feel like that’s a bit presumptuous of me.”

Lia raised an eyebrow, as if asking Monika to elaborate.

“I need to know if you’re okay with going public with this,” Monika gestured between the two of them, “I could clear this issue out without mentioning you, especially if you’re not comfortable with it.” It wasn’t uncommon for people in the limelight to keep their relationship private, but Monika knew that she’d be able to find it hard since she’s the type to be transparent about her feelings and would want to show off the woman she was in love with. 

Lia smiled, assuring Monika’s concerns. “I’ve already told you before, I’m not the type to intentionally hide my relationships. If you want, we could both release something tomorrow, like an official statement.”

Monika couldn’t help but chuckle at that. She didn’t know that her life would reach a point where she’d have to release something like an “official statement” just to let the public know who she’s dating.

“I’m sorry, I know this situation isn’t funny at all but I just can’t believe that this is my life now.” Monika continued, her laughter dying down, “But I did sign up for this, so I really shouldn’t be surprised anymore.”

“Yes, but it’s not normally this stressful. You’re probably just unlucky that your first dating scandal is a little complicated.”

Monika groaned, “I’m just glad that I have you to help me with this.” she took Lia’s empty hand and squeezed, “Thank you, for doing this. And for not being mad anymore.” she nervously laughed, hoping she got that last assumption right.

“Oh, I’m still annoyed. But not at you.” Lia gave her a meaningful look. Monika couldn’t blame her, because she was upset with Hyowon’s actions as well. She’d already made it clear that she wasn’t okay with what her best friend did that night, so she was confused and outraged that Hyowon would even decide to publicize it. What was she trying to achieve by doing this? She definitely needed to get to the bottom of this and have a proper talk with Hyowon later.

But right now, she’s going to focus on Lia, and Lia only.

Monika listened as the older woman continued, “I know that it’s not your fault and you’re probably in enough trouble as it is. We just have to figure out how to get past this. And of course, I’m not going to let you handle this alone.” Monika felt touched and a little emotional at Lia’s words, her throat constricting and her eyes getting watery. She’s so grateful and apologetic at the same time.

“I feel like you’re always cleaning up my mess,” Monika laughed self-deprecatingly, “and I couldn’t thank you enough for it.”

“You don’t have to keep thanking me. I wanted to do this and I’m more than happy to help.” Lia said, a little seriously. Monika felt like her mind went somewhere else for a second, and then as if clearing her mind again, her expression changed and she smiled brightly at Monika. 

She wondered what that was about. Monika would’ve asked her about it but the smile that was on her face seemed like it was telling her to just brush it off and move on. 

So, clearing her throat, she focused on another related subject. 

A subject that suddenly got her heart beating loudly, and made her a little anxious. 

“Another thing. If we’re going to release an official announcement or something, shouldn’t we also talk about… you know… us?” Monika carefully broached the topic. That seemed to pique Lia’s attention and the almost fake smile on her face changed to something genuine. Like she was equally nervous, but also intrigued. 

“What exactly are you asking?” Lia asked, her face neutral, but her tone showed slight interest. 

“Uh, I don’t know… I guess I… okay. Shit.” Monika let out a nervous chuckle, and took a deep breath, readying herself to just ask what she wanted to ask.

Her face becoming serious, she looked at Lia with gentle eyes. “I want to be the person who can make you happy, and you’ll be happy with. I want us to be each other’s safe space whenever we need it. I want to keep dating you, I want to do things that people in a relationship do.” She saw how Lia was suddenly growing emotional, her eyes reddening and a growing joy on her face, “I guess what I wanted to ask is… Do you want to be my girlfriend and do all those things with me?”

Monika held her breath as she waited for Lia’s response. Time seemed to stop as they sat there, her question hanging in the air, and she saw how tears were now gathering on Lia’s red eyes, Monika watching them fall on her cheeks as if in slow motion. She was crying with a smile on her face and it was such a beautiful sight that it made Monika want to weep as well.

But she still didn’t know whether those tears meant that Lia felt sad and she was actually about to reject her, or if it meant that she was happy that they were on the same page. That she was also longing for the same things that Monika wanted. 

A few seconds passed by, and she finally got her answer as Lia slowly nodded, and let out a lovely laugh.

Monika couldn’t restrain the grin that took over her face, “Yes? You’re saying yes, right?” she excitedly asked.

“Yes, dear. I’m saying yes. I’ll be your girlfriend.” Lia said, laughing fondly at her. 

Monika reached out to wipe the stray tears that fell on Lia’s cheeks, her hand remaining there as she finished. “I love you.” That got her a wide smile from the woman, then Lia’s head turned to kiss Monika’s palm that was wiping her face. 

The kiss lingered, then Monika felt her lips move from her palm to her wrist, then to the inside of her forearms. Monika held her breath as Lia’s warm kisses traveled further up her arms, until the sleeves of her robe got in the way. She felt goosebumps rising on her skin at the tension that was suddenly in the air. 

Her body instantly clouding with arousal, Monika took Lia’s face in her hands and pushed her lips against her in a passionate kiss. That earned her a surprised “mmph” from the woman, but she returned the kiss with the same fervor nonetheless.

She pushed her tongue inside Lia’s mouth, tasting the sweet wine on it, and she felt herself getting drunk on the woman’s taste. She moaned when their tongues met, and Monika didn’t waste any time sucking on it. The sensation was turning her on even more. 

But as if remembering where they are, Monika suddenly broke off the kiss and looked around the area frantically.

Lia must’ve sensed her concerns as she felt her chin being turned to face the woman again, and said, “The closest houses beside mine are on the other side. I specifically had this patio set up to only be facing the mountains so it could be as private as possible.” Lia’s voice dropped down to a hoarse whisper, and Monika could see her pupils dilating, “No one could see us over here.”

Monika gulped, excitement filling her at the obvious invitation.

Not breaking eye contact, Monika slid down from her seat, and kneeled down in front of Lia. The woman’s legs automatically opened to make space for her, and Monika situated herself between them. 

“May I?” Monika asked as her hand went on the end of the knot of Lia’s robe. When Lia nodded, giving her permission, she didn’t waste a second and immediately pulled on the strings, undoing her robe. Monika opened the robe even more, until she could see the clear view of Lia’s bare body underneath. 

“Lean back.” Monika commanded in a quiet tone, and waited for the woman to make herself comfortable. Then Monika reached up and  hovered over her, capturing her lips once again, then released it with a pop. She then traveled to her neck, kissing the spot that Monika knew made Lia weak the most, sucking and grazing her teeth on it. She smiled on her skin when she felt the vibrations on her throat as Lia let out a small groan. 

She continued her descent until she reached her perky nipples, and greedily sucked on it, flicking her tongue on the bud multiple times and bit softly on it. She felt Lia’s legs wrapping around her, pulling her closer, and she could feel her warm wetness rubbing against her stomach. The feeling of her moist flesh trying to stroke herself on Monika’s skin was making her dizzy with arousal. 

Lia’s moans were now getting louder and louder and Monika was almost worried that someone might hear them. She wasn’t worried earlier when they were inside since the doors and windows were close, but now that they’re outside and no doors could silence their noise, it was possible that Lia’s neighbors could hear what they’re up to.

So she reached one of her hands and covered Lia’s mouth, stifling her moans. She realized that it was a wrong move because it earned her a glare from the woman, and Lia removed the hand covering her mouth. “Let them… hear… I don’t care.” Lia said breathless, Monika’s mouth still sucking on her breast. Fuck, that was hot, Monika thought, and it drove her to finally continue going down on her, leaving her nipples and made her way to where she could feel Lia dripping, if the stickiness on her stomach from where it was grinding against earlier was any indication.

As she went down, Monika hooked Lia’s legs on her shoulders, and pulled her closer, placing her face properly on her entrance. 

Before she went closer, she looked at Lia, and saw how deliciously flushed her face was, her chest heaving and her eyes full of anticipation. 

“You’re so beautiful.” Monika couldn’t help but say as she watched Lia.

“Thank you… but… would you just fuck me already?” Lia said, slightly whining, her hand coming up to rest on Monika’s head, urging her on. Monika just chuckled, surprised at the vulgar words that came out of her mouth.

With a smirk, Monika took mercy on her and said, “As you wish, my love.” 

—————

It was rare for Lia to have mornings where she would wake up feeling absolutely rested, where she’d open her eyes slowly with a smile on her face. Where she’d wake up knowing that her day was going to be good because of how wonderful her sleep was. 

And this morning was definitely one of those mornings, as she woke up with a light feeling, events from last night slowly coming back to her mind as she opened her eyes. She felt comfortably warm, and it only registered as her eyes opened that it was because both of them were naked, her body pressing on Monika’s heated skin. Lia’s head was snuggled on top of Monika’s upper chest, half of her body was resting on top of the woman, their legs intertwined, and her arm slung over Monika’s stomach, hugging her. 

It had been far too long since she slept with another person before, the last memory she could remember was that one sleepover with a girlfriend when she was in college. But she didn’t remember it being this nice and cozy, as she buried her face even deeper on Monika’s neck, breathing her scent in. She could still faintly smell the perfume Monika had on last night mixed with her sweat and natural smell of her skin, and it was easily getting Lia addicted. 

She couldn’t help but sample a taste as she stuck her tongue out, licking and sucking on the skin lightly. It tasted exactly as good as she smelled, and Lia’s mouth kept on pulling on her skin, until she heard a small groan from the woman underneath her.

“Uh… mmwhat are you doing?” Monika said, voice a little groggy from being woken up. 

“Sorry, you just… taste so good.” Lia then bit the skin lightly one last time then licked the mark with her tongue, then looked up at the woman. Monika was rubbing her eyes, then let out a big yawn and Lia watched her, entranced. It wasn’t the first time she had seen her wake up in the morning, remembering the times where they’d spent all night practicing and ending up sleeping in their practice rooms, or where they'd hang out in each other’s apartments, spending the night. But none of those times were as intimate as this, since they’d never slept on the same bed, and never as closely as this. 

Monika let out a deep chuckle, the sound vibrating from underneath Lia. “What time is it?” She felt Monika’s other arm that wasn’t buried under her moving and trying to reach something on the bedside table. It was her phone, and she saw her put it above her head then clicked on the screen multiple times to look at the time, only to realize that it was turned off. Monika sighed, probably remembering the reason why it was turned off, as she set down her hand a little hard on the bed. “I’m scared to turn this on.” 

Lia felt the same agony. She didn’t want to look at her phone as well because it would force her to face reality, and she was too comfortable right now to deal with it. 

“It’s 6:14 in the morning.” Lia said, as she lifted her head slightly to look at the clock on the wall. It was a little dark in the room due to the blackout curtains blocking the light, so it was understandable that Monika might’ve missed it. 

The woman turned to her, surprise in her features, “Why are you up so early?” Monika said, whining a little. She was equally surprised as well since she thought that she’d already gotten at least more than six hours of sleep with how great she felt when she woke up, but in reality, it was only more or less, two hours. 

“I don’t know, body clock, I guess. I thought it was already past noon to be honest.” 

Their stamina was so incredible that they spent all night just having sex and only deciding to rest until it was almost 4 in the morning, both agreeing that they should try to get some sleep. Maybe because they were dancers, that they were able to sustain their energies for so long. 

Perhaps it was the realization that she only had a few sleeps in, that she suddenly felt a little sleepy, making her yawn. She secured herself again comfortably on top of Monika’s body, snuggling her head deeper into the woman’s skin and closed her eyes. 

She felt Monika putting her phone away and putting it back on the table, then wrapped both of her arms around Lia’s small body. She smiled when Lia felt Monika kiss her on the top of her head, and said, “Let’s go back to sleep, my beautiful girlfriend.”

That made Lia open her eyes again and laughed, “That’s so cheesy.” but still, Lia humored her, “Okay, my sweet, gorgeous girlfriend.” She said, snickering. Both of them chuckled, and Lia could sense the happiness in their laughter, despite the ridiculousness of it all. Happy at finally being able to call each other that way, and being able to successfully reach this point in their relationship. 

With these thoughts in mind, Lia drifted back to sleep feeling lighter than ever before.

She was woken up a few hours later, by the sound of a phone ringing, and a hushed “shit!” coming from the lower side of the bed. She noticed the absence of a warm body pressing against her this time, and she reached on the bed with her eyes closed, searching for the woman who had been there before.

“Hey, I’m here.” Monika said, gently. Lia then slowly opened her eyes and looked for the source of the voice. She found her sitting at the foot of the bed, dressed in a robe, and her phone in her hand. “Sorry, did I wake you up?” Lia could still hear the sound of Monika’s ringtone, but the volume was much lower than when it first rang.

“It’s fine. Do you need to answer that?” Lia asked, rubbing the sleep off her eyes. She looked at the clock, and it was already 12pm. She remembered that she had to pick up her dogs in an hour or two, so she finally sat up, stretched and took the blanket off of her.

“Uh…” Lia saw how Monika took a second to stare at her, and her question didn’t seem to register on the woman’s mind. The way Monika looked at her naked body was such an ego boost that she was almost tempted to stay this way. 

But the phone still ringing in her hand got Monika’s attention again, and only then did she answer Lia’s question. “I think I should. It’s Gabee.”

It was like she was suddenly thrown a cold bucket of ice at the way she was brought back to reality, and she felt the air stricken with tension.

“Okay.” Was Lia’s only response. 

“I’m going to put it on speaker.” 

She sat there on the bed, still unmoving as she watched Monika answer the phone and greeted the woman on the other side of the line.

“Hi. What’s up?”

“Hey, I think you know why I’m calling, right? Is now a good time to talk?” Gabee asked, her voice cheerful. Oh God, was she about to congratulate Monika too or something? Lia almost groaned at that.

“Yeah, I’m available. What exactly did you want to talk about?” Monika asked, hesitation in her voice. It seemed like she was also afraid of where this conversation would go.

“Okay, question. And please answer truthfully.” Gabee paused dramatically, Lia couldn’t help but roll her eyes. “Is it true? That you and your business partner are together?” She saw Monika open her mouth, probably about to deny the question, but the producer still went on and cut her off, “Because I don’t know if you’ve been on social media last night, but you were on the top trending list on Twitter. Everyone is talking about it. And I also heard that there’d been a significant increase in our ratings last night, and it’s fair enough to assume that it was because of it.” They thought the producer was done talking, but she still continued, “Please, tell me it’s true. Most of the reactions were pretty positive, and it didn’t hurt that it garnered more interest for our show.”

Lia wasn’t able to hide her displeasure at that, and she furrowed her brow at the producer’s selfishness and how she only saw the positive result it was getting for the show.

Monika probably felt the same thing as she finally answered the producer, her tone hiding the obvious annoyance she felt, judging by the look on her face. “I’m sorry to disappoint, but no, it’s not true.” 

Gabee sighed, “I knew it.” Lia was surprised at the seemingly knowing tone in her voice. “I’m pretty sure you’d tell me that you’re actually seeing someone else, too, is that right?” 

Lia saw Monika taken by surprise as well at the suspiciously accurate assumption, “What? H-How did you know?” 

“Well, it was pretty obvious. Remember when I met you during the press conference? I mean, leaving a lipstick stain on Lia’s neck and it just happened to be the shade you were wearing? Amateurs.” Gabee chuckled, teasing them. “Not to mention, the amount of hand holding in front of the press. I almost thought that you were going to announce your relationship right there and then.”

“Oh my God.” Monika said, and she could see how red her face was becoming. Her girlfriend looked so embarrassed that Lia almost failed to smother her laugh. She was so easy to tease.

“But unfortunately, you can’t say anything about your thing with Lia.”

What? Lia felt like she suffered from whiplash at that sudden request. She met Monika’s eyes, equally stunned at what the producer just said.

“Excuse me, what? Why can’t I do that?” Lia could sense how Monika was now getting frustrated at the conversation. And truthfully, she was feeling the same way.

“Because a lesbian dating scandal is one thing, a cheating allegation is another. And I’m sorry to say, but getting involved in any sort of negative scandal is a violation in your contract. The homophobic heads of the station were already on my ass about it, thank God the ratings got released this morning so I was still able to persuade them about leaving you alone.” The gravity of the situation was now becoming more evidently clear, especially with how serious the producer’s tone was. 

But Monika, her beautiful, stubborn Monika, wouldn’t go down without a fight, “I’m not cheating! This is all just a huge misunderstanding and I’m capable of clearing it right away. I could get all parties involved to release a statement as well.” Monika looked at Lia for guidance, as if asking her if she was okay with it, so she smiled and nodded her approval. 

“Monika, trust me when I say that even though you come out and say the truth, people would still believe otherwise. It would be too complicated and your career and the show are still too fragile for it to be ruined by this complication.”

“Why is my love life heavily affecting all of this? Why is this defining whether my career or the show succeeds or not? This is bullshit.” Monika looked like she was regretting taking up this job and being in the limelight at that very moment, and Lia knew that she had to offer something and ease whatever she was feeling. She crawled over to her, and took Monika’s empty hand, squeezing it. Monika looked at her, gratitude in her eyes, and mouthed “thank you” to Lia.

“I know, and I hate it, too. But it is what it is, and you have to abide by the rules of show business if you want to stay in it or not.” 

Lia knew that Gabee made a great point, and she knew that what the producer advised them to do was the best solution they have at this moment. While it did hurt her to think that there’s a possibility that they’d keep their relationship a secret to the public, it was still important to her that Monika’s career and future wouldn’t be ruined.

So, with a sad smile, she tugged on Monika’s hand to get her attention, and whispered, “It’s going to be okay.”

Monika furrowed her brow, still annoyed at the situation, “Can you give me a second?” she said to the phone, and hit the ‘mute’ button, not waiting for the producer’s response.

“What are you saying?” Monika asked, confusion in her tone.

“I’m saying, that Gabee is right.” 

“No, you can’t be serious.” Monika was already getting a little worked up, “What, are you saying that it’s fine to lie and hide this relationship? I can’t do that to you. It’s not fair.” Her voice was getting higher, and she saw how worried she was getting. Not about herself, no, but she was worried about Lia. 

And Lia was grateful for her concern, but she wouldn’t be able to live with herself if she was the reason why Monika's opportunity to succeed gets destroyed. 

Lia took Monika’s phone, and unmuted it. Monika could only look at her with confused and sad eyes, as she spoke to the producer, “Hey Gabee, it’s Lia. So, what do you propose we should do?”

They talked about their course of action for the next few minutes, while Monika sat there, speechless and looking at Lia like she couldn’t believe that she was actually doing it. The producer and Lia agreed that Monika and everyone involved would just stay quiet and not release anything. They wouldn’t confirm nor deny the speculations, since they both agreed that the interest and the ongoing discussion over the topic was a good marketing move for Monika and the show. They discussed everything as if Monika wasn’t in the room, and Lia knew that the woman was already getting a little angry at having her life being dictated by anyone but her. 

But Lia promised that she would take care of Monika and would continue to help her in this, so she’s just making good on that promise.

“Before you get mad, please know that I only have your best interest in mind, and this is the best thing to do in this situation.” 

“I’m not mad.” Monika said in a resigned voice, the anger that was there earlier was now changing into something apologetic. “And I would never be mad at you, especially if this is still somehow my fault, and you’re just trying to help me fix this.” 

“It’s just after the show ends. Hopefully the issue would’ve died down by then and we’re free to say whatever we want. Within reason, that is.” Lia tried to make Monika see the positive side, smiling at the woman.

“I still don’t know if this is right. I don’t want to keep you a secret.” The woman sighed, “I’m really sorry I got us into this mess. I promise I’ll talk to Hyowon and get to the bottom of this. I’ll make her apologize to you as well.”

Lia didn’t really want to interact with Hyowon as much as possible, especially with what she did last night. What she did was reckless and selfish, and she not only tried to ruin her and Monika, she also endangered Monika’s career. 

“That’s fine. She doesn’t need to.” Lia probably needed that apology, but if it meant that she wasn’t going to talk to her, then she could live without it. “And what’s done is done. You don’t have to keep saying sorry. We just need to figure this whole thing out, together.” She took her lover’s hand and intertwined it with hers, letting her know that she wasn’t alone in this.

“Thank you for being so understanding. I promise I’ll make it up to you. I’ll be the best girlfriend you could ever have. Are you free today? I’m willing to be at your beck and call, do whatever you want me to do, heck I could be your servant for the day.” Lia laughed at the enthusiasm in Monika’s voice and the wide comical eyes she was giving Lia.

“I didn’t know you liked this kind of roleplaying.” Lia could only tease the woman in response. She wasn’t comfortable with ordering her girlfriend around, but she definitely liked the thought of spending the whole day again with her. It was her day off anyway. 

“Get your mind off the gutter, ma’am.” Monika playfully rolled her eyes, “So, do you agree?”

“You don’t have to, but you’re free to stay and spend my day off with me.” Lia looked at the time, and saw that she only had enough time to get dressed and drive to pick up her dogs from her friend’s house. “We should get dressed, I have to pick up Eho and Lilly.”

“Oh, cool. Okay. Wow, I can’t believe I’ll be meeting your kids today.” Monika chuckled, and Lia could see the excitement in her eyes. Lia knew how much Monika adored dogs, and she had always talked about wanting to have one on her own back then. She wondered if she ever did get one. 

“I can lend you some shirt and pants, the dress you wore last night isn’t exactly appropriate for today’s activities.” 

“Oooo, activities?” Monika said, intrigued.

“Yes, now wait here and I’ll fetch you some clothes.” 

After they got dressed, they cleaned the rooms that they used last night, picking up the clothes that they hastily left on the floor, and the glasses and bottle of wine on the porch. Then they headed to Lia’s car and they drove to where the dogs were and picked them up.

When Eho and Lilly were finally secured in her car, she saw the twinkle in Monika’s eyes as she talked to them in that cute baby voice, trying to reach behind her seat to pet their heads. It was a lovely sight, and Lia had a permanent grin plastered on her face all throughout the whole ride.

As they got home, Lia made them wait in the yard and let Monika play with the dogs for a bit while she was getting the stuff she needed to walk the dogs. The afternoon was a little cloudy and chilly so it was perfect to take the dogs out and walk them around the neighborhood. 

Lia found Monika lying on the grass when she got outside, her two dogs licking her face. She heard her laughing freely, and it made her heart swell with joy. 

She almost felt bad for ruining the moment, but they had to get going before it got dark so she walked closer, and asked Monika to help her out by putting the harness on the dogs. After they were done, they set off and walked and ran with the dogs for an hour, Monika holding Lilly and she was holding Eho, and Lia couldn’t help but feel absolutely exhilarated at how domestic it all was. 

After their walk, Lia planned to give them a hot bath, and she told Monika that she didn’t have to help with it because they could get pretty playful in the water, but her girlfriend insisted. So now, they found themselves absolutely drenched because the dogs were more rowdy than usual, probably because they’re excited that a new face was bathing them.

And it didn't help that by the end of it, Lia and Monika kept spraying and splashing water onto each other and it turned into a full blown water fight. 

Their afternoon ended up with them, both in the shower, their soaked clothes removed. The playful energy from earlier, turned into something steamy and naughty, as Monika kneeled in front of Lia, her leg hooked on top of her shoulder as she leaned on the shower wall, her knees almost giving out at the pleasure that Monika’s tongue was giving her. 

It was probably the best extended date she has ever had in her entire life.

Chapter Text

In their decade-long friendship, Monika couldn’t remember a time where she got extremely upset and disappointed in Hyowon. She had always been the most understanding, supportive, and kindest best friend Monika had ever had. 

Well, that was right until this moment. 

It boggled Monika’s mind that Hyowon could do something so uncharacteristically immature and irresponsible, and now she had found herself in a predicament all because of what her best friend did. 

She hadn’t spoken to her in the almost two days that she was at Lia’s, turning her phone off immediately after that call with Gabee. Monika was so angry with Hyowon that she had decided to avoid looking at the texts and missed calls her friend had sent her, afraid that she might say something in the heat of the moment that she’d regret later on.

But now, as she stood in front of their apartment door, the home she shares with Hyowon, her anger slowly abating after that wonderful time she had with Lia, she finally decided to confront her and get to the bottom of this.

Entering their house, she noticed that it was awfully quiet, the light from the kitchen was the only one brightening up the whole space, and no Hyowon in sight. Her friend must have been in her room because she could see the light open seeping through the crack in her bedroom door.

She put down her bag and jacket on their living room couch, and proceeded to knock on Hyowon’s door.

Monika heard a rustle and a thud, then she found the door being opened immediately, with her best friend breathing heavily on the other side. Like she just ran the short distance all the way from her bed to the door.

“Monika. You’re home.” Hyowon said, giving her a nervous smile, “Did you already have dinner? I can order something for you if you’re hungry.” 

“No, I already ate. Come out, we need to talk.”

Hyowon nodded solemnly, and with a sigh, she stepped out of her room, following Monika to the dining room. They sat across from each other, and Monika could see the anxious energy emanating from the younger woman, who was avoiding eye contact with her.

Despite her nervousness, her best friend spoke first, “If this is about what I posted last night…please believe me that it was just an accident. I’ve been trying to reach you all day so I could explain.” Hyowon finally met her eyes. She knew her best friend well enough for Monika to know whether she was lying or not. This time, despite what she’s feeling right now, she could tell that she really was telling the truth.

It still confused the hell out of Monika though.

“What do you mean, accident?” She asked, furrowing her brow.

“I went to hang out with Aiki last night to watch the show together. Since you said that you’re gonna be in some event and you’d be staying the night at a hotel, I figured I should make my own plans, too.” Monika stayed silent at that, keeping her poker face on. She felt bad that she still had to lie about where she actually was last night, but she vowed to herself that she won’t say anything about her relationship with Lia unless things were already going well.

And since their date went far beyond Monika’s expectations, maybe she’d be able to finally tell everything to her best friend.

That is, if Monika still wasn’t mad at Hyowon.

“So then after we watched the show, Aiki brought out some drinks, and we were having so much fun that we didn’t realize how hammered we were becoming. I think I passed out on her couch, and I woke up to my phone blaring with notifications.” Hyowon took a deep breath, disappointment marring her features and continued, “Aiki thought it would be funny to prank us by posting that picture, that I didn’t even realize she took that night. She sent the photo from her phone to mine and posted it on my Instagram Story while I was asleep.” 

Monika was about to say a curse word at that revelation, when Hyowon cut her off, “In her defense, she said she meant to post it on my Close Friends only. She was too drunk to notice that she posted it for all my followers to see.” Hyowon bowed her head, her tone apologetic, “I know that you might see this as just me making excuses, but it’s the truth. Once I realized what happened, I deleted it right away.” 

“Yeah, well, the damage has been done.” It was the only thing Monika could say at that moment, still dumbfounded at what Hyowon just said. 

She was at least a little relieved that Hyowon didn’t intentionally do it, but she was still disappointed that she let herself get irresponsibly drunk. Hyowon had only met Aiki a few times, they still didn’t know the woman very well. What if the dancer did something worse to her? She knew how naive her friend could appear to some, what if someone took advantage of that, and Monika wasn’t there to protect her? 

“You really should be more careful with people you drink with.” And maybe because she was still upset, or it was the need to protect her best friend, it spurred her to say her next words, “You know what, I’m banning you from drinking anywhere else unless I’m with you. Last night could’ve been more dangerous, be thankful that some childish prank was all they did to you.” 

Hyowon was clearly taken aback by that. Monika knew that it was an irrational order, and her best friend was an adult who’s fully capable of taking care of herself, but Hyowon felt like a little sister to her that she couldn’t help but feel overprotective towards her. 

“Aiki’s not like that. Yes, it was a stupid prank, but I’m still a good judge of character. I wouldn’t be comfortable enough to drink with her if I knew that she’d have other motives.” Hyowon said with conviction as she defended her team member. Maybe they actually got closer without Monika knowing. Even so, she still believed that she should take some necessary precautions.

“I don’t care. You’re not allowed to get yourself drunk unless you’re at our house or I’m accompanying you.” Monika said with finality. “Think of it as your punishment for what happened. I almost got in trouble with my boss because of it.” 

Hyowon’s face immediately looked guilty, “Fuck, I’m so sorry. I didn't know it got that serious. Shit, okay. Fine, I’ll do as you say.” her best friend sighed, and looked at her with regretful eyes, “I really am sorry for what happened. It’s my fault for being irresponsible and I only have myself to blame. I’m not expecting you to forgive me right away but, please, at least don’t be mad anymore.” She pleaded with her.

Monika wasn’t actually mad with Hyowon anymore, maybe a little upset with Aiki, but her relief at the fact that Hyowon didn’t intentionally sabotage her love life and her career was greater than anything and it made all of her anger from earlier all but went away.

She sighed, conceding, and gave her friend a little reassuring smile, “I’m not mad. Just… please be more careful next time.”

“I will. And I promise I’ll clear everything up. I’ll post something and say that it was just a silly little prank and it was just a drunken dare. I’ll do it right now.” Hyowon said, standing up, probably to get her phone.

Monika quickly stopped her right there, “No, wait. Sit down, there’s actually something I wanted to mention as well.” She waited for Hyowon to sit back down, before she continued, “Gabee ordered me, and all parties involved, to not say anything about this issue. They didn’t want us to confirm or deny anything. They wanted the public to keep speculating because they think it could create more interest and noise for our show.” 

Hyowon’s jaw dropped, seemingly bewildered at the request. Even Monika wasn’t completely convinced with this plan and she still thinks that it was ridiculous, but Lia was adamant about this so she had no choice but to agree. 

“Can they do that? Can they actually control what you want to say or not?” Hyowon asked.

“I think I’m not allowed to have any kind of scandal, it’s a violation of my contract.” 

“I know, so denying everything means that it wouldn’t exactly count as a scandal, right?” Hyowon seemed to still be trying to wrap her head around what Monika was trying to explain. 

“The homophobic heads of the broadcasting station think otherwise. Whether we deny it or not, it’s still an issue for them. Gabee just negotiated with them and saved my ass by telling them that it was garnering positive reactions and generating good ratings for the show.” Monika was actually grateful for their producer, despite not being fully onboard with what she wanted them to do. Still, she felt that Gabee was genuinely on her side and she appreciated that.

“So they’re using you, and this issue just to create buzz for her show?” 

“It’s Gabee's proposition for me. Gabee would help me get the bosses to let this issue go, if I go with her plan and make them see that this is a good marketing stunt.” 

Hyowon nodded, but she still looked confused, “But what should we say when someone asks? Do we have to pretend to be a couple or something?”

“No, that’s not necessary.” Monika was quick to deny, “I don’t know, maybe let our close friends know the truth? They didn’t exactly tell me how to go about this. They just didn’t want us to officially announce something.” Then thoughts of Lia went through her mind right then, thinking about how it was the perfect time to finally let her best friend know about them. 

“Also, uh, my real girlfriend wouldn’t appreciate it if I pretended to be someone else’s girlfriend.” 

Monika paused and looked at Hyowon’s reaction. She saw the slight furrowing of her brow, the obvious shock in her widening eyes, and how her mouth opened and closed, as if she didn’t know what to say to what she just admitted.

After a few more moments of watching Hyowon’s face go through a series of emotions, her friend finally landed on a wide smile, and asked, “Oh? Did you finally make it official with your mystery crush?” 

“Yeah, um, I was actually on a date last night. I didn’t say anything because I was afraid of jinxing it, but since it went well.. great even, I think I can finally tell you.” She didn’t know why she suddenly felt nervous, maybe because of Lia’s assumption that Hyowon also liked her, and she was afraid that she’d make things awkward between them just in case it was true. 

But still, whatever it was that Hyowon felt for her, it was important for Monika to share with her best friend this important detail about her lovelife. 

“Are you going to tell me who she is?” Hyowon asked after Monika took a minute, the woman waiting for her to continue.

“Yes, she’s… you actually know who she is,” Monika exhaled before she resumed, “It’s Lia.”

It’s as if someone hit pause as Monika looked at the way Hyowon’s face froze for a whole five seconds, her eyes getting suspiciously red. Perhaps her friend was actually too happy for her that she didn’t know what to say? Or that she was too shocked because she didn’t think it would be possible since Lia hated her guts only a few months ago? 

Monika hoped that it wasn’t because Lia was right and her best friend actually harbored secret feelings for her. She didn’t know if her conscience would take it if she broke Hyowon’s heart, even if it was unintentional.

She was about to get worried when her friend still remained silent, but after a few more seconds, Hyowon finally gave her a huge smile, and appeared to be actually happy for her. 

Monika let out a sigh of relief at that.

“Wow, that was unexpected.” Hyowon laughed, but it sounded a little forced in Monika’s ears. She guessed she couldn’t be relieved yet. “I didn’t know Lia finally made a move on you.” 

What? 

“She didn’t make a move on me. I’m actually the one who asked her out.” Monika said slowly. She was baffled at the words that came out of Hyowon’s mouth. Where did that assumption come from?

“Oh, sorry. I just thought… ah, never mind.” Hyowon said, her face looking a little sly.

One thing is clear for sure, Lia and Hyowon definitely don’t like each other. It was evident by the way Hyowon had obviously something negative to say about the woman. Not to mention Lia’s admittance yesterday about why Hyowon and her never hung out. She had thought that it was just a wild assumption on her girlfriend’s part. 

Was it really because they were secretly fighting over her?

Hyowon clearly wanted to say more, so with a roll of her eyes, Monika took the obvious bait, and asked, “You know I won’t leave you alone unless you tell me, right? What is it?”

“I don’t know… I don’t want you to think I’m like, badmouthing her or anything.” Hyowon said, a little serious. Wait, did Lia do something to her? 

Having had enough of the dilly dally, Monika impatiently gestured for her to continue. 

“I never told you this, but she actually got mad at me when I went with you during filming last time. She said that people might misunderstand us and that it could affect you negatively. I thought it was weird back then. It’s like, I wasn’t allowed to be seen with you or something, which is ridiculous by the way. We live in the same house, for God’s sake!” Hyowon paused after that little rant. Monika knew that Lia got a little jealous over Hyowon that time, remembering how Lia avoided her for almost two days of filming because of it, and explained that some of her staff misunderstood them for a couple. What she didn’t know was that Lia actually had a little confrontation with Hyowon. “That’s when I had my suspicions that Lia’s overprotectiveness was because she’s actually jealous and that she liked you. I didn’t see any signs that you liked her then so I just assumed that Lia made the first move.”

If she was going to be a little honest, Monika actually didn’t mind if Lia truly did that. It might’ve been a little overboard or a little too much, but as someone who also had a moment of irrational behavior because of jealousy, she didn’t want to act all righteous about this.

But knowing Lia, she knew that she wouldn’t just behave that way with anyone else for no reason. It’s not like she didn’t believe Hyowon, but Monika should at least know Lia’s side on this. 

She sighed, feeling like she was standing in between of a boxing match, but instead of them punching each other, it felt like Monika was the one receiving the punches from both sides. 

Monika thought of a response that wouldn’t undermine Hyowon’s obvious feelings of offense. She didn’t want to say that it wasn’t that bad, nor that she understood why Lia did that. She didn’t want to be the type of friend who would always side with their partner all the time.

“Oh, I see.” Monika said gently, then an idea suddenly popped in her mind, “Maybe it’s time for you guys to meet each other properly. Clear everything up with each other. I feel like this is all just a huge misunderstanding that nothing like a good talk couldn’t fix.” Excitement filled her tone as she suggested it to her friend. It would probably take a lot of convincing for Lia to agree with it, but if it meant that the two most important people in her life would finally get along, then Monika would do whatever it takes.

But her excitement dimmed when Hyowon’s expression turned into something incredulous, her brow furrowing, like she couldn’t believe Monika would even suggest that. Do they hate each other so much that even Hyowon was disgusted at the thought of talking it out with Lia? 

The smile on Monika’s face was completely wiped from her face when Hyowon suddenly stood up, and she saw how her friend had a poker face on. But one look at Hyowon, Monika could tell that the woman looked close to tears, hurt reflecting in those eyes. It was like her whole demeanor wanted to scream how betrayed she felt in that moment.

And then her best friend spoke, confirming what Monika already knew Hyowon would say, “I don’t think I can see that happening anytime soon. It’s obvious that Lia can’t stand me and that’s perfectly fine.” Then her friend looked at her with a deadpan expression, “I feel the same way.” Hyowon held up her hand when she saw Monika about to protest, “And don’t ask me why. Trust me, it’s better that you don’t know.”

Monika truly didn’t understand why. 

Of course she was still in denial about the whole “What if Hyowon really has feelings for me?” theory so naturally, she would be confused as to why Hyowon was acting that way.

Monika stayed in her seat, bewildered, when Hyowon made an excuse about having a late night class in their studio and left the room to get ready. She remained in that position even as Hyowon said goodbye and stepped out of their apartment. The sound of the door closing snapped her out of her daze, the conversation from earlier still reeling in her mind, trying to process everything that was just said.

Bowing her head, she pulled on her hair at the frustration she felt, and cursed at the fact that she couldn’t even be fully happy about her new relationship because she feared that she had hurt someone in the process. And that someone was the person who had been there for her and spent her life with for more than a decade. 

Monika knew that she wasn’t a bad person, and she had always tried to live an honest life, always striving to make good choices. So why? Why is the universe punishing her this way? 

—————

Two days later, Monika found herself in the same predicament with Hyowon, and their interactions had become a little awkward and stilted. Whenever she would try to bring up the subject about Hyowon considering having a talk with Lia, she would immediately be shut down, her friend going as far to leave the room if Monika gets a little persistent. 

It frustrated Monika to no end, and even now as she sat in the taxi on the way to the studio, she was still a little bothered that she hadn’t succeeded in persuading her best friend. 

Trying to get her mind off of it, she took out her phone and clicked on her Instagram app. It was probably not a good idea to distract herself from her current problem by looking at another problem, but curiosity was killing her. 

Just going to skim through some comments and see how bad it is.

She clicked on her latest post, the one where people decided to leave comments on regarding the current issue. The post already has more than a thousand comments, three times more than she would usually get per post recently, and as expected, almost half of it were comments about her dating life.

But what surprised Monika was the fact that most of it were positive comments, a lot of it coming from the LGBTQ+ community, saying how they’re happy to see someone in the media who was also part of the community and that they’re happy to see her relationship with Hyowon. 

At least she’s making a positive impact on them, even if half of it wasn’t true. 

She was also happy to note that she only found three to four homophobic comments, and even those comments already got replies from people who were already quick to defend Monika. She was finally starting to get why Gabee was adamant on using this opportunity to get a boost for the show, because these uplifting comments on her page was proof of how great people were actually taking this news. 

As she scrolled further down though, her eyes popped out at the significant amount of comments asking about her and… Lia? 

It seemed like these fans weren’t just liking them because they were entertaining together. A lot of them have actually been speculating that they were together romantically, or rooting for them at least to end up together.

Most of them were saying how heartbroken they were that their “ship” sunk, and that they really liked the two of them together. The bold comments were very few, and most of them were just asking “What about Lia Kim??”, like they had solid proof that Lia and her were together. 

In any circumstances, Monika would’ve been annoyed at the almost invasive comments, treating them as if they’re not real people with real feelings, making up some kind of reality for them that they’ve chosen to believe even without proof. 

But because Lia and her were actually together, she actually felt a little sad for them, and she suddenly had the urge to comfort them and tell them to not worry about it. They feel like they’re her actual friends who knew too much about the both of them, especially with how accurate their assumptions were. 

With a dejected sigh, she finally closed the app. But then her finger automatically clicked on the black and white icon with an X logo, opening another equally poisonous social media app. 

It was definitely a bad idea, but the need to know what’s going on out there was greater than her self-preservation.

She logged in straight to her secret account, which she uses to follow some of her fans, and fans of her and Lia as well. It was the first time in her entire life that she had a group of people who liked her, people who got excited when they saw her, people who worshiped her. The tweets and reactions from these fans were very entertaining and a huge ego boost, and it left her intrigued and addicted. And it was also funny how people lose it over every simple interaction from her and Lia. 

It was like she was looking at their love story through these fans' eyes, fascinated at what they post, the video clips and pictures, and the captions that said how much they “ship” them. The lingo that they usually use isn't very common to her, and it was funny yet a little confusing to her at first. But as she spent more time scrolling through this account’s feed, she was starting to learn and understand them one by one, and it got more interesting and enjoyable for her once she could easily comprehend them.

As she opened her account, her feed was filled with a variety of tweets from fans, ranging from people being heartbroken, some were cracking jokes and using humor as a coping mechanism (which actually made Monika laugh) and some were even announcing that they’ll deactivate their accounts. 

God, if only she could, she’d tell the truth right there and then and save them all from their misery.

Then something piqued Monika’s interest. She saw a tweet with some never before seen pictures of her and Lia on set. She put her phone closer to her face, and clicked on the tweet. She saw that it already had a hundred Quote Tweets, and the number was increasing rapidly. 

It was a picture of them standing really close to each other, with Monika holding Lia’s hand. 

Oh, that was the day when Monika confronted Lia because she was avoiding her, the day she had had enough and decided to drag Lia to her dressing room so she could talk to her.

Where she got confirmation that Lia was jealous of Hyowon.

And the day when they had their first kiss.

She couldn’t help the smile that broke out of her face at the thought.

Looking closely at the photo, she had to admit that they really do look good together. The gaze that they gave each other was so intense that it couldn’t be denied that something was going on between them, and she could easily see all that even in the slightly blurry photo. 

It just fueled the shippers even more, giving out theories about them developing a romantic relationship that just didn’t work out. The skeptics though, were saying that they kinda looked like they were fighting. 

She laughed at how true both of those assumptions were.

Thankfully, this was only circulating among her fans and it didn’t gain the attention of the media yet, because Monika could actually be in trouble with her bosses if this gets mixed in with the current narrative. Their plan of keeping quiet about the truth could all be for naught if they actually bring Lia into this.

Monika sighed and finally put away her phone. She looked at the window and noticed that she’s nearing her destination, so she mentally got herself ready to face the outside world. It was the first time she had actually left the house since that issue broke out, so Monika didn’t know what to expect on how people would react to her, or how they would treat her. 

As she alighted the taxi, nerves suddenly overcame her as she saw a group of fans waiting by the entrance of the building. It was usually a typical sight, since the area would always have celebrities coming in here and fans would wait for them to get a glimpse of their idols or a chance to interact with them. She approached the door of the building carefully, making eye contact with the group of young girls, and smiling at them. 

She paused when they called out to her in their sweet and high-pitched voice. Monika hesitated whether she should go to them or continue walking to the direction of the building, afraid that someone would be bold or rude enough to ask about Hyowon or Lia, and she’d be caught in the spot and it would just add fuel to the fire.

No, she couldn’t risk fucking this up. So with a final wave to the fans, giving them her brightest smile, she proceeded to go inside the studio, safe from prying eyes and phones recording her every move.

Safe, might be a strong word, because as she walked along the hallway of the studio, she became aware of the lingering looks from some of the staff she came across with. 

She just hoped that her glam team wouldn’t talk about it or ask her about it later because Monika couldn’t lie even if her life depended on it. 

Maybe she’d just give them a sly smile or two, thinking it best not to utter a single word regarding the topic.

When she finally reached her dressing room, she saw that the light on Lia’s room was turned on. Her mood increased drastically, temporarily putting away all those stressful thoughts and issues accumulating in her mind. She focused on the fact that she’s seeing and getting to spend more time with her girlfriend today.

She knocked on Lia’s door twice, then after a few seconds, it felt like everything passed in a blur as a hand shot out and pulled her inside, her back colliding with the door as it got slammed closed, her lips getting attacked by those warm, soft lips that tastes like strawberries, probably from the other woman’s lip balm. Before she could process what was happening, her lips moved on its own accord, matching the pace of her girlfriend, giving her a passionate and open-mouthed kiss back.

She dropped her bag on the floor and snaked her arms around Lia’s waist, pulling her in, and took control of the kiss. She captured the woman’s bottom lip, then pushed her tongue inside, exploring her mouth. Oh how she missed this feeling of being with Lia again, of being able to taste her, even though it’s only been a few days since their date, when they last saw each other in person. The woman was probably on the same page as well, as Monika could feel the longingness and yearning in that kiss.

After a few more minutes of exploring each other’s mouths, they finally came up for air and looked at each other. Monika almost cried when she looked at the dark eyes that were staring back at her, the eyes that were full of emotion, looking at her with affection. A shy smile was on Lia’s lips, and the expression made her face glow. Her girlfriend is so freaking beautiful that she almost wept.

Is this what being in love feels like?

Her thoughts were cut off when the woman in front of her finally spoke.

“Hi. You’re early.” Lia said softly, still with a gorgeous smile on her face.

“I may have a motive.” Monika cheekily retorted.

“Hmm, I wonder what that is.” Lia, who was still trapped in Monika’s embrace, lifted her pointer finger and poked at Monika’s chest daintily, right on the spot where her skin was exposed. She gulped as Lia looked at her with a raised eyebrow, her gaze turning sultry, and she felt her finger moving downwards, making her shiver in return. The finger stopped until it reached the handle of the zipper of her jacket, pulling it down slowly, all the while maintaining eye contact with Monika. Lia looked so hot in that moment that Monika couldn’t help her heart beating faster, and anticipated the older woman’s next move.

Then she was suddenly pulled by her jacket, which was now wide open, and was now being led in the direction of Lia’s couch, Monika almost stumbling on the way. As they reached the furniture and the back of her legs hit the front of the couch, Lia pushed her a little roughly and she plopped down on it. Fuck, she didn’t know Lia manhandling her like that would be such a turn on for her.

She’s so down bad.

Monika didn’t know what happened next as her mind became dizzy with arousal and clothes were carelessly being strewn in the vicinity of the room, their upper bodies completely naked. Lia made her lie down, straddling her and bending down to feast on her neck. It gave her a special kind of thrill at the fact that they’re about to do it in Lia’s dressing room, where there are people walking around outside and could barge in at any moment. Monika tried to swallow the loud moan that threatened to come out of her as Lia’s tongue swirled on her nipple, and that’s when she remembered to check if they locked the door or not.

She put her hand on Lia’s head, urging her to continue, but still said breathlessly, “Did we… ah…that feels so good… wait, did we lock the door?”

That made Lia stop in her ministrations and released her breast as she looked at her with a confused look on her face, “You didn’t?” 

“Well, I didn’t exactly have a chance to do it.” Monika pointedly looked at her.

Lia was about to respond back when they heard a loud knock on the door, followed by a familiar voice. They both froze and looked at each other, alarmed. The knocking continued and maybe it was due to panic, or because she was distracted by the unobstructed view of Lia’s boobs hovering on top of her, that Monika shouted out a response, telling the person at the door to give them a moment.

The bewildered look Lia sent her way made her realize how wrong that move was.

“Shit, sorry.” Monika whispered, which just made Lia roll her eyes at her, then got up and looked for their clothes in a hurried manner.

“Monika? Why are you– never mind. I’m coming in.” 

“Gabee, wait!” Monika said as she abruptly shot up from the couch, her legs spurring to action and ran to the door, trying to stop it from opening.

But the producer was faster as she opened the door, and Monika felt silly standing in the middle of the room, still in a running pose. Realizing she was still completely topless, she immediately hugged herself to cover herself up. 

Thankfully, their producer entered with her eyes closed, which was probably a smart move on her part. It didn’t make her a little less embarrassed at having been caught doing something that they definitely shouldn’t be doing in their workplace though. Especially if that someone was their boss.

“Are you guys decent?” Gabee entered the room while quickly closing the door, her eyes remaining closed. 

Monika spared a look behind her where she knew Lia was, probably looking for their clothes. She found her already fully clothed (how?!), standing near her vanity table, and snickering at Monika. She pouted at her, trying to look sad that her girlfriend was making fun of her, and it probably worked since Lia affectionately rolled her eyes, and walked over to her and gave her her clothes.

“Give us a second.” Lia told their producer, and helped Monika get dressed. When they finished, she realized that they were standing close to each other, face to face, and Monika didn’t waste any time landing a quick peck on her lips. 

She couldn’t help it. Lia was just too damn gorgeous, and that simple action of helping her put her clothes on made her heart fill with warmth.

“Oh my God, don’t tell me you guys are actually making out right now!” Gabee shrieked, disbelief in her tone. She had her back on them, but it seemed that she still heard the sound of their lips meeting.

At least she was gracious enough to give them their privacy and gave them time to get ready (but not gracious enough to suddenly barge in without their permission, Monika snidely thought). She couldn’t actually say that out loud since they’re the ones being inappropriate at work, and Gabee’s technically their superior, but… still. 

Lia chuckled, “Okay, we won’t.” her girlfriend winked at her and Monika almost fell to her knees at how confident she looked right now, teasing Gabee. “You can turn around now.”

—————

“We need to lay out some ground rules.”

Lia and Monika sat beside each other on the couch (the one where they just made out on a few minutes ago) and Gabee sat on a spare chair in front of them. It felt a lot like they were children being reprimanded by their mother, especially with how stern Gabee looked at that moment.

She really is serious about this.

“I saw some pictures going around Twitter today, have you both seen it?”

Lia shook her head. She actually deleted her social media apps this week so, no, she doesn’t have any clue what their producer was talking about.

She couldn’t say the same about her girlfriend though.

“Is it the one of both me and Lia?” She heard Monika say carefully.

“Exactly.” Gabee confirmed, “The rule is just simple. We need to avoid something like that from happening, at least in the meantime. Just… try not to do anything that leaves room for speculation. Don’t give them anything that would make them think that you aren’t two women who are just close friends.”

Well, that’s actually not too hard. Most of the intimate things they do happen behind closed doors anyway.

She heard whining from her side though. It seems like she’s the only one who found it fair.

“Wha– I can’t even hold her hand in public?” Monika sputtered, indignant.

“You can’t, especially if there are already eyes on you both, watching your every move. If we’re gonna go through with this plan, we need to do it properly. That means less public display of affection. Sorry.” Gabee actually sounded apologetic, and it seemed like she really felt bad about making them do all this. “Our team is trying to get the photo deleted before it reaches the media, since taking pictures on set and sharing them is strictly against the rules anyway.” their producer clapped and sighed, “That’s actually all I needed to say. So, are we good here?”

Lia nodded, then looked at Monika to see if she agreed as well. She still looked annoyed, but at least she wasn’t complaining anymore. Her girlfriend just grunted a yes as a response. 

Then Gabee stood, effectively ending their discussion, then proceeded to the door. But before she stepped out, she turned to them and said, “And please, lock the door next time.”

And then she was gone.

Monika let out a big sigh, and Lia chuckled at how dejected the woman looked. That earned her a glare though.

“This isn’t funny! I feel like I’m gonna die if there isn’t a second that I’m not close to you or I’m not touching you or–”

“Dear, relax.” Lia couldn’t help the laugh that came out of her. Monika could really be dramatic sometimes. “It’s just for when we’re out or if there are other people that could see us.”

Her smile widened at the adorable pout Monika gave her, “We wouldn’t be able to go on dates outside. This sucks.”

Monika was really taking this hard, and she looked really bummed about this whole thing. Lia felt the same way, too, of course, but she just had more experience in doing things that she didn’t exactly like if it meant that it could be better for her career.

So being the good girlfriend that she is, she tried to cheer the younger woman up.

“You could spend the night at my house tonight, if you want.” Lia offered, giving her a charming smile, trying to appease Monika.

That seemed to work as the light in her eyes came back and a devilish smirk formed in her mouth, “I suppose we could continue what we were doing earlier in the privacy of your home.” Monika winked and waggled her eyebrows. Lia pushed her playfully, laughing at her.

“Is sex all you can ever think about now?” Well, if Lia was being honest, it was definitely all she could ever think about ever since she saw Monika again today, and she had already planned to do it earlier if only they weren’t rudely interrupted. She's not going to admit all of that obviously.

“I have a hot girlfriend. So how can I not?” Monika shrugged, unbothered that she was showing how unapologetically horny she was for Lia.

This woman is too good for her ego.

“Objectifying your girlfriend is not a good look.” Lia smirked, letting the woman know that she was just kidding.

Monika just smiled and leaned forward to give her a sweet kiss on the lips. Her face turning serious, she said, “You’re more than that and you know it. You don’t know how lucky I feel that I get to call this amazing woman,” she pointed at Lia, “my girlfriend.”

Chapter Text

The second elimination episode was filmed the same day as the next round, and everything went by so fast that it felt like Monika just blinked and everything was already over.

The concept of this semi-final round was a one-on-one freestyle battle, where contestants from the same team battled each other, and all coaches participated in picking who did the best. They battled for a maximum of five rounds, and the first dancer who won three times automatically advanced to the finals. Each round had a different theme, all of them were unknown to the contestants, and the dancer with the most impressive and wittiest performance won the rounds.

Almost little to no drama happened, and it was mostly just a battle of pure talent and skills. Monika highly enjoyed it because it was pretty reminiscent of all the times where she was judging an underground street dance battle, and she was sure that Lia felt the same if the delight on her face and the multiple times that she stood up cheering and shouting in excitement were clear indications.

And just like that, they were now down to one contestant per team, and they’re now headed towards the final round of the show. 

Monika was relieved that it would actually still be a month away, because she could already feel the creeping sadness when thoughts of the show finally ending came through her mind.

No. There are still a lot of preparations to do before the final show and she shouldn’t spend a whole month being emotional just because the show that changed her life was coming to an end. 

Besides, she should actually look forward to it ending because she’d finally have the freedom to be with Lia publicly. She didn’t have to worry about the executives of the show being on her ass about having any sort of scandals while she’s on the show. 

Her train of thoughts got cut off when the director finally yelled “And cut!” and the panel of coaches immediately stood up to go and congratulate (and console) the remaining contestants.

She looked at Lia and saw that the other woman was already looking her way. They silently communicated with their eyes, nodding with a smile on their faces, wordlessly agreeing that they should walk together.

Monika was about to hold Lia’s arm to help her get off her elevated chair, but remembered what Gabee just told them minutes before they started filming. Her hand was already raised but stopped midway, and it seemed that Lia remembered the same thing as she looked at her alarmingly, while shaking her head subtly. Monika sighed to herself, and lowered her hand, then waited until Lia got off her chair.

They arrived at the stage together, but went on their separate ways to go to their respective teams.

Bada and Aiki were already crying when she got there, and she could only laugh at the image. It was actually the first time she was seeing them sob this hard, since they were the goofiest and most playful members of her team.

The comical sight almost made her forget her slight annoyance with Aiki, and how this is the first time she’s seeing her in person again after that incident. Although the dancer sent her a message apologizing for the mess she created, which Monika replied to and they ended it with a good note, there was still that lingering anger that she couldn’t help but feel towards the contestant.

She’s still going to try hard and not let the annoyance show though, because Monika is nothing but a professional.

(Although being caught almost doing something inappropriate in their dressing room by their producer says otherwise. Monika’s deciding to ignore that little fact.)

“Great job, you two. If I could only pick the both of you I definitely would.”

“Don’t lie, coach. You’d obviously still pick Bada. And I don’t blame you, I’d pick her too if I was in your position.” Aiki said humorously, still cracking a joke even when tears are running down her face.

“Yes, you’re probably right.” Monika laughed, “I’m kidding. I mean it when I say that it was one of the hardest decisions I’ve ever made on the show. Seriously, I want to thank you both for giving us an outstanding stage.”

Monika stepped closer and pulled the two dancers in a three-way hug, congratulating them.

When they parted, she suddenly felt a presence behind her, and she got confirmation of it when Aiki and Bada looked over her shoulder to smile at the person who was standing behind her.

Certain that it was her girlfriend, a grin took place on her face even before she turned and saw who it was.

She failed to hide the disappointment in her expression as her smile dropped and found out that it wasn’t Lia.

“Hey, coach, I just wanted to say thank you for choosing me in some of the rounds. I wouldn’t be able to win if it wasn’t for your votes.” Eunji said, a shy smile on her face. The dancer must’ve still felt awkward around her after that fiasco during the pool party.

At least she has great self-awareness, Monika snidely thought.

“I’m sure you’d still be able to win regardless. The votes were almost always unanimous.” Monika said with a straight face, but looking at the genuine gratitude on the tall dancer’s face, she sighed and relented, “You’re very talented and your performances were spectacular so you deserved that win. You don’t have to thank me, you have to thank yourself for doing a good job.” Monika threw her a nod and a small smile.

But her words seemed to have impacted the dancer a lot because she could already see the tears forming in her eyes.

She usually liked it when people got emotional when she praised them, and this time wasn’t any different, regardless of who it was.

Or maybe she’s finally warming up to Eunji. Oh God. She could already hear Lia teasing her from a mile away already.

“Thank you, that means a lot coming from you.” Eunji said, trying to keep her tears at bay.

“Just keep doing what you’re doing and good luck on the preparations for the finals.” Monika gave her a sincere smile as she reached out and tapped her encouragingly on the shoulder.

“And um, I also wanted to apologize if we started on the wrong foot. I think I gave you a poor impression of me–”

Monika suddenly felt her cheeks heating up with embarrassment as she cut her off. Is she really bringing that up right now?

“You have nothing to apologize for. I was the one who overreacted and misunderstood the situation. Don’t worry about it.” She admitted that the way she treated Eunji back then wasn’t her proudest moment, and she wanted nothing but to move forward and completely forget about that interaction.

“That’s a relief, because it actually bothered me for months thinking that you somehow don’t like me or something. I’m glad we cleared that up.” Eunji said as she laughed, some of the tension fading from her expression by Monika’s reassurance.

Monika almost winced because the dancer’s assumption wasn’t wrong, and she really did have something against her. Eunji didn’t need to know that, so Monika just smiled at her, eager to end the uncomfortable topic.  

Then as if her girlfriend sensed that she needed help, she finally saw Lia in her peripheral vision, sliding next to her while slightly touching her arm to get her attention.

“Hey, Gabee called and said she needed to talk to us.” Lia said to her as she came up, then turned to Eunji, “Congratulations, again, Eunji.”

The dancer bowed her head good-bye to the both of them, and finally stepped back and went to talk to the other contestants.

“But Gabee just talked to us–”

“Let’s go?” Lia looked at her with wide eyes, like she was saying that she should just do as she says, no questions asked.

And that is when Monika realized that Gabee didn’t really need to talk to them. Lia was actually just saving her and trying to get her out of a very awkward situation.

And she also liked to think that Lia wanted to whisk her away already and get her all to herself.

As they walked away and into the safe confines of the hallway, she could already see from the corner of her eye Lia smirking her way. Monika rolled her eyes affectionately, already knowing what her girlfriend was going to talk about.

“I see someone’s finally being friendly.” 

“Shut up.” 

“Why? I’m proud of you.” Lia giggled, obviously making fun of her. She was starting to regret confessing about her being jealous of Eunji, because now Lia’s teasing her every chance she gets.

Oh who was Monika kidding? She’d let Lia tease her all she wants if it meant seeing that carefree smile on her beautiful face. 

“Seriously, stop it.” Monika tried to sternly say, but the grin on Lia’s face was too infectious that she couldn’t help but break character and laugh with her.

“I am serious. It’s good to see you playing nice.”

“I wasn’t playing nice. I was actually being nice. That’s different.” Monika pouted.

“See? This is why I’m proud of you, you cutie.” Lia actually reached out and pinched her cheeks. 

“Ugh.” Monika usually didn’t like being babied like this, but she would be lying if she said that she wasn’t pleased when it was Lia doing it to her.

They continued walking until they reached their dressing rooms, and when they got there they both agreed to clean up and change quickly so they could go right away since Lia’s house is almost an hour drive from Seoul. 

Thankfully, they were able to get out of the building and step inside Lia’s van in a much secluded area exclusive to artists so they didn’t have any problems with other people seeing them leave together. 

Finally arriving at Lia’s house, Monika proceeded to settle down the food that they ordered for take-out earlier and got out some plates and utensils to set it on the table. She didn’t notice that Lia was observing her with an amused look as she got comfortable and got the table ready without any prompting from the homeowner.

“I didn’t know you were already that hungry. We could’ve just eaten in the car.” She heard Lia say with a chuckle.

“I’m actually hungry for something else.” Monika paused in her tracks, lifting her head to look Lia in the eyes, trying to convey how much she wanted to continue what they started in Lia’s dressing room. 

Before they were rudely interrupted. 

“The sooner we get started on dinner, the sooner I get to eat my dessert.” Her eyes tracked Lia’s figure up and down, and when they’re eyes met again, she could already see the same desire in her girlfriend’s eyes. 

“You’re insatiable.” Lia husked, rolling her eyes, but Monika could tell that she was equally turned on.

Monika hadn’t been this excited for another woman before. There’s just something about Lia that got her so intoxicated that she couldn’t help but want to be near her and touch her every chance she gets. 

And Monika doesn’t have any qualms about letting the woman know just how much she wants her.

“For you? Yes, I am.”

Then like a switch, Lia’s entire demeanor changed, her face turning sensual, and sauntered to Monika’s direction. The woman took the plate that was on her hand, guided those hands to her hips, as Lia took her face delicately, cradling it.

She could already feel her heart pounding in her chest, as she anticipated Lia’s next move. Monika wanted to pull her closer and just crash her lips against her, and take her on this dining table.

As Lia’s face got closer, Monika closed her eyes and puckered her lips, waiting for the contact to come.

But after a few seconds of waiting and she still hadn't felt anything, she opened her eyes to see what was taking so long.

Only to find Lia trying to smother a laugh, her face a few inches from hers, visibly teasing her.

Monika frowned and pouted, making her disappointment show at the woman’s actions. 

She looks so damn cute, though. 

Well, two can play at this game. With those thoughts in mind and the way Lia looked so adorable in front of her, Monika quickly leaned in and landed a kiss on Lia’s smiling mouth. The surprised moan that her girlfriend let out made this the perfect revenge Monika could ever have. 

She only meant for it to be a simple peck on the lips to get her to stop laughing, but when they broke apart, the kiss seemingly having put a spell on the woman, Lia’s eyes changed again. This time, she could clearly see her pupils dilating and getting darker and saw them drop down to her lips. Then it was her turn getting surprised as her girlfriend lunged forward, pulling her head closer as her lips got sucked into the woman’s mouth.

The kiss was wet and warm and it was making her so dizzy that she didn’t even realize that she was being backed into the counter, and the impact of her back hitting the solid marble didn’t even register to her. 

After a few minutes went by, Monika finally got a hold of herself as she switched their positions and trapped Lia against the counter, lifting her up so she could sit on it. The woman automatically spread her legs apart so Monika could situate herself between it.

Their lips parted only for Monika to instantaneously bite on Lia’s neck, tasting the sweet, fresh skin, mixed with the scent of the woman’s floral perfume, making her head even more heady.

As she continued sucking on it, she couldn’t help but ask, “mmmh… What about dinner?”

To which Lia immediately replied, “Fuck dinner.” that got a laugh out of Monika.

And as if she couldn’t help making the joke, Monika said, “And fuck you instead?” stopping to look up, smirking at Lia.

Her girlfriend rolled her eyes and gently pushed her, which was contradicted by the way her legs were wrapping around Monika’s torso, keeping her closer. 

“You’re insufferable.” Lia moaned as she threw her head back when Monika resumed kissing her on her collarbone.

Monika was a bit disappointed when Lia told her  that Eho and Lilly wouldn’t be here. They were currently at a friend’s house for the night since Lia would be filming all day. But if it meant that they’d be free to do whatever they want, then she guessed she couldn’t be too sad. 

“Should we take this to the bedroom?” Monika rushed to say as she took off her sweatshirt, leaving her in only her sheer tank top. That action made them break apart for a moment, making Lia open her eyes for a second at her question.

When she saw how her girlfriend was looking at her like she was going to be her meal for the evening, she knew what the answer to that question would be. 

Lia took her hand and pulled her even closer, wrapping her legs tighter and snaked her arms around her neck. The older woman leaned forward and licked the shell of her ear, then whispered, “I don’t think that’s necessary.” 

And damn if it didn’t make Monika weak in the knees. 

—————

They still ended up in bed, but now with their takeout dinners in hand. They were too exhausted to be bothered to properly eat at her dining table. 

Lia could’ve forgone dinner but when she heard Monika’s stomach rumble in protest as they were lying down, catching their breaths sometime after their third round, she laughed and got up from bed to get their food and fed her girlfriend. Monika would’ve continued what they were doing if Lia wasn’t adamant that she ate first.

And now they found themselves sitting naked on her bed, a small table between them, eating and conversing about random topics. 

This is one of the qualities she liked about Monika, the way she could comfortably talk to her about anything and they could go on and on, sharing their insights with one another. She had always been in awe at how much wisdom the other woman had despite being younger than her, and it was always a learning experience whenever they’d get into deeper conversations.

They were currently talking about the upcoming final round of the show, and Monika was just saying how short the time given for the contestants to fully prepare two performances, all on their own. The first performance would be a collaboration with their coach, and that alone would be difficult enough since they have to work with people who also have very busy schedules. 

“Although I would be willing to dedicate my time to help my contestant and help them as much as I can, I don’t think I could say the same for others, right?” Monika said, a cute frown on her face.

“Don’t look at me. I’m willing to move my schedule just to help my contestant win this thing, too. I told you, I don’t like losing.” Lia smirked at her, remembering their first conversation after meeting each other again for the first time in twelve years.

Back when they hated each other. Oh, how time flies.

“How could I forget? You were all up in my face being all intimidating, challenging me and stuff.” Monika laughed, seemingly thinking of the same conversation.

“Well, were you?” Lia raised an eyebrow.

“Were I what?”

“Intimidated.”

Monika chuckled, “Honestly? I was a bit turned on.” 

Wow, that’s definitely brand new information. 

It delighted Lia to no end, though, but she kept it inside and faked a gasp, “I was mad at you! How did that even make you horny?” she said, mirth in her eyes.

Her girlfriend just shrugged, “I like women who challenge me. Gets me excited.” 

Lia jokingly squinted her eyes disapprovingly, “Hmm, do I have to be worried about other women challenging you in the future?”

That question got Monika to turn a little serious, even though Lia was just joking. She saw how Monika’s smiling face turned into something determined, and she looked her straight in the eyes. Lia almost gulped at the intensity of her look.

“No. I don’t care for other women now that I have you.”

Lia’s heart definitely skipped a beat at that. She’s thankful that it was dark in the room because she could already feel her cheeks heating up, and she could only imagine how red it must’ve turned. 

The way the younger woman said it was full of conviction that Lia believed her instantly, even though she already trusted the woman in the first place. The reassurance made her very pleased. 

“I was just kidding, but that’s… really great to know.” Lia said, smiling shyly at the woman. 

Monika returned her smile, making the mood lighter again.

Only for it to be ruined again when Monika said her next words.

“Speaking of other women, um, I think we should talk about Hyowon.” Monika carefully said, probably knowing how this topic infuriated Lia to no end.

Trying to calm herself before she got worked up, she thought about how her girlfriend was finally starting to extend an olive branch to Eunji, knowing how much Monika also didn’t like the blonde woman. Maybe she could do the same and try to at least have an open mind when it comes to topics about Monika’s best friend. 

“Okay, what about her?” Lia tried to say, her voice sounding as neutral as she could.

“She told me that you had an… altercation, during the last time she accompanied me on set. She said that, uh… you got mad at her because of some rumors.” Monika gently said, as if afraid that it would set Lia off.

She tried to keep her face devoid of emotion, and tried to reel the slight irritation that she was starting to feel. 

She took a breath, and replied, “Well, the rumor did start because of her, so naturally, I had to warn her about the dangers of starting unfounded gossip.” 

Monika was quick to reassure her, “No, no, I understood you of course. I know we already talked about this before. I just wanted to mention that Hyowon told me her side of the story.” A pause, then Monika peered at her and said slowly, “Is this the reason why you guys don’t like each other? Because of that altercation?”

Lia sighed. She didn’t initially dislike Hyowon, especially when they were still part of the same group. Yes, she had always felt weird and awkward around her due to them having the same feelings for Monika, but no, she had never hated her.

Something about Hyowon changed in the past decade that Lia couldn’t pinpoint. Back then, Hyowon would just always step back as though she had accepted that Lia would always be number one to Monika. But now, there was this air around her that Lia could even say was arrogance. Like she was telling Lia that it was time for her to be the one to step back.

And it annoyed Lia to no end.

“It’s… complicated. But considering the fact that Hyowon also has feelings for you, it’s not that hard to wonder why there’s tension between us.” She shook her head, frustration building up at Monika’s stubbornness, “But you just seem hellbent on not believing it so I don’t know what to tell you anymore.”

“I’m choosing to believe that she doesn’t have romantic feelings for me unless she explicitly says so. And she told me that what happened was an accident, so I don’t think she was intentionally acting out.” Monika looked at her, and Lia could see the slight guilt in her eyes, “I’m sorry if this makes you think I’m siding with her, but… Hyowon is important to me, too. She was the one who was there for me during the hardest years of my life.” The younger woman bowed her head, and she could feel how this whole situation was stressing her out. “I just don’t want this to become something that could come between us.” 

The sight of the woman she loves struggling made her let go of some of that pride. She wished nothing but to make that worried expression vanish from her beautiful face.

Lia was truly helpless when it came to anything that concerned Monika. She guessed some things really don’t change. 

Extending her hand out to lift Monika’s chin up, she met her eyes and offered her a gentle smile, “I understand. What do you need from me?”

The bright grin that grew on Monika’s face was definitely worth it. 

“Wow… I… Thank you so much.” Monika took her hand that was on her chin and intertwined it with hers. “I just want you guys to clear this up. Have a talk. You don’t have to stay friends after this if that’s not what you guys want, although it would definitely be nice…” she chuckled nervously, “But, yeah, I think what I want is for you to be less uncomfortable with each other. Is that possible?” 

To be honest, what more is there to talk about? Lia could agree with what Monika wanted but this would only work if Hyowon genuinely accepted their relationship. 

And Lia was guessing that Monika’s best friend wasn’t in a congratulating mood yet, if what her girlfriend ranted to her a few days ago about Hyowon not wanting to talk about her and Lia yet was any indication.

But Lia was doing it for Monika and Monika only, and if this is what the woman wants, then Lia would try her best just to give it to her.

So she nodded her head in the affirmative, and agreed, to Monika’s delight.

And she guessed that it was probably due to the guilt that she still felt towards Monika when she left her twelve years ago. When she mentioned how Hyowon was there for her during the lowest point in her life, even though it wasn’t her intention, Lia felt like she was just punched in the gut. 

Although she didn’t regret making the decision for herself and removing herself from a situation that induced her a lot of heartache, she did regret leaving Monika and the pain and hurt she caused in the process. 

Clearing her throat, she decided to bring it up. “Also, I know I’m a few years too late, but I wanted to apologize. For leaving, that is.”

Lia hesitated whether she’d let her know the real reason on why she really left, but that would mean confessing everything to the woman. How the feelings she harbored ever since they were best friends played a big issue on her ultimately leaving. 

But it felt like it wasn’t the right moment for that kind of declaration, and truth be told, every time Lia thinks about spilling her true feelings to Monika, she feels anxiety taking over her, making her nauseous.

Why is it so damn hard to let go of all her worries and just admit everything?

Is it because she was afraid that Monika would somehow hate her if she knew the real reason why she really left? What if Monika found her selfish? That she chose to save herself rather than to be there for her friend when she needed her support the most? 

Her mind was already spiraling and she could feel the tell tale signs of nerves taking over her, when Monika spoke, “What are you apologizing for? I should be the one who should be saying sorry. I ruined our group, our friendship, because I chose to have unhealthy coping mechanisms.” And as if Monika could sense that she was feeling bad about the whole thing, she took Lia’s face in her hands, soothing her, “Hey, everything was all my fault. Besides, if you didn’t leave, I probably wouldn’t have realized how much I was fucking up my life.” she let out a small laugh, “Somehow, you were still making my life better even in your absence.”

Lia finally gave her a small smile at that, feeling a little better at what Monika said. She didn’t know that she still had that much impact in Monika’s life even after she left.

Then Monika’s face turned serious, pulling her hands back and continued, “While we’re on the topic… I don’t think I’ve properly apologized for everything that I did before.” She exhaled, “I just wanted to say how sorry I was for all the shit I put you through. I know I can’t undo the things I did before but I promise you that I won’t make the same mistakes ever again.” 

And Lia believed her wholeheartedly. She also found that she didn’t have any resentment left for the woman, and that she had already forgiven her. All that is left is just the love she had for Monika, the love that had been there all those years ago. 

“I know. And I’ve already forgiven you for that a long time ago.” Lia relayed, “I think it’s time we move on from that painful memory. We don’t need to forget, but it’s nice to know that we’re finally at a place where we’re both okay now.” 

They both smiled at each other, their eyes shining with relief at finally getting that much needed closure. 

Then Monika chuckled, a thought seemingly occurring in her mind. 

“You know, if someone told me that we’d be together like this twelve years ago, I probably would’ve laughed at them.” 

Wow. Ouch.

So if Lia confessed to her back then, there was a high chance that she could’ve been rejected?

“But I’m not saying that it’s because I wasn’t attracted to you or anything, I just had an unspoken oath to myself that best friends are off-limits.” Monika shrugged in defense. 

Lia felt her cheeks getting warmer at that. So it’s not totally a lost cause? 

A small chuckle escaped her, not being able to resist teasing Monika, “Are you saying that if I wasn’t your best friend, you could’ve made a move on me?” 

Monika rolled her eyes, “That’s what you got from that?” her girlfriend shook her head with an affectionate smile on her face. “But to answer your question, if we weren’t best friends, I don’t know… maybe? I mean, you’re definitely easy on the eyes,” it was Lia’s turn to roll her eyes, “and you’re an intelligent woman, a hard worker, great at her job, and a caring and supportive friend… basically all the qualities I like in a person.” 

Lia’s grin was so wide that she could feel her face stretching at the action. It was definitely nice to know that that is how Monika perceived her. 

“You’re loving this, aren’t you?” 

Oh, definitely. 

“The fact that you’d hit on me hypothetically? Very much so.” Lia finally released the gleeful laugh that she’d been trying to hold, not caring if she sounded too happy. 

They’re basically sitting butt naked on her bed, they’re bare as they could ever be (at least physically) so she didn’t have it in her to hide how ecstatic she was to know that Monika was at least attracted to her back then.

“Seriously though, I’m glad this happened now rather than before. Because I don’t think I would’ve been able to give my hundred percent if we entered a relationship back then. I was too focused on my goals and dreams, and as you’ve unfortunately experienced, I wasn’t the best at handling my own problems. I would’ve probably just broken your heart.” Monika said, a little solemn.

Lia wanted to say that she did break her heart, even when they weren’t in a relationship, but she’s already past being bitter about it.

Besides, talking about what she truly felt all those years ago was another huge can of worms that she wasn’t ready to open yet. 

She nodded understandingly, and let Monika continue, “But seeing you again now, after all those years… It confused the hell out of me. There was suddenly this new kind of tension between us and I started seeing you in a different light. While I didn’t consider it before… meeting you again for the first time… the attraction suddenly hit me like a truck.” her girlfriend chuckled shyly, while rubbing her neck. “And then I was getting jealous over people suddenly being close to you, and that’s when I knew I was developing something real for you.” Monika concluded as she looked at Lia bravely in the eyes, smiling softly at her.

Lia’s heart ached in a good way at how Monika could freely express everything she felt for her. The honesty and her openness as she listened to her recount the story of how Monika fell for her… It was so contagious that she suddenly gained a little courage from it. So she opened her mouth and thought fuck it, and tried to tell her side of the story as well. 

If that meant finally confessing everything to her, then so be it. Monika deserved to know the whole truth from her.

But then her phone decided to break the moment as it loudly rang from her bedside table.

Why she didn’t put it on silent was beyond her. Actually, she blamed Monika for distracting her earlier, making her forget to do it. 

“Who could be calling me at this hour?” Lia said, a little miffed at having been interrupted. She reached for her phone and saw that it was actually Eunji calling. She frowned in confusion, wondering why the dancer was calling her at almost midnight. 

“Who is it?” Lia heard Monika ask.

“Oh, um, it’s Eunji. I absolutely have no idea why she’s calling me.” the phone is still ringing in her hand, debating whether to answer it or not. 

Wait, why was she thinking about this? She shouldn’t, of course, it would absolutely be rude to Monika.

But it seemed like Monika already made a decision for her, “You should answer it. It could be important.” then in a slightly disapproving tone, “It better be important, if she’s calling this late.” her girlfriend rolled her eyes.

Lia chuckled. Monika really couldn’t help herself, could she? Well, at least she’s trying.

With an exhale, she said “Okay.”, quickly answering the phone.

“Hi, Eunji. Is there something wrong?” Lia said in greeting.

“No, there’s nothing wrong.” She heard Eunji laugh on the other line, “Sorry, were you already sleeping? I told the guys I should just call you in the morning but they’re persistent that we call you now.” 

“It’s fine. I wasn’t sleeping. Wait, we?”

“Yup. Leejung and Harimu are with me.” Eunji confirmed for Lia, then heard a chorus of Hi, Coach! from the other two, “We were just talking about how we should get together and grab a drink before we prepare for the final show.”

“What did you guys have in mind?” Lia met Monika’s eyes then, and saw that her girlfriend was looking attentively at her, probably trying to get the gist of what they were talking about.

“We were thinking of going to a club, and you know, just hang out. There’s gonna be some dancing, drinking, partying… And we’d love it if you could come.” 

Lia absolutely despised partying, let alone going to a club. She hated that kind of social events, always opting to stay in the quiet comfort of her home.

But she thought about how this was probably going to be the last time that she’d be able to spend time with her team like this, and hanging out with them wasn’t such a bad idea as well. 

She chanced a look at Monika again. The final decision was all up to her of course, but she should probably talk to her girlfriend about this first and hear what she thinks before she says yes to Eunji.

“Hmmm. Let me think about this, first. Is that alright?” 

“Yeah, no problem, take all the time you need. And no pressure, too. We won’t be mad if you decide not to come.” then Eunji let out a small laugh, “We’d just be a little disappointed.”

Lia laughed as well, “I guess I shouldn’t be hasty with my decision then.” 

“Yes, you shouldn’t.” Eunji jokingly said with a stern voice, then she continued in a much more normal tone, “But seriously, we’d love it if you could come. And I definitely missed hanging out with you! We haven’t properly talked since that pool party. I miss it.” Eunji finished, a little sentimental.

Lia didn’t know what to say to that. Eunji was definitely fun to be with, but she wasn’t sure if she shared the same sentiment. Not to mention, she could feel Monika’s eyes boring into her, so she couldn’t exactly say that she missed her, too. 

So she just opted not to say anything about that, and said, “I should get going. I’ll just text you about this tomorrow.”

Lia felt a little bad as she heard the slight disappointment in Eunji’s voice, “Oh, sure, of course. Sorry again, for disturbing your night. Good night, Lia.”

“No worries. Good night.” Lia said with a smile, then ended the call.

“So, what did she want?” Monika immediately asked, not even a second after she put down her phone. Lia shook her head fondly at the woman.

“She asked if I wanted to come and hang out with the team before the finals. They wanted to go to a club.”

Monika scrunched her brows, “Club? But you hate going to clubs.”

“Yes, that’s why I said I was going to think about it. And…” Lia paused, and waited until she knew she had Monika’s full attention, “I wanted to ask if you’d be okay with me going.”

Monika looked a little confused, “Lia, I’m not the kind of girlfriend who dictates whether you should go to these things or not.”

“I know. Normally, I wouldn’t need to ask you, but… you’re sure you’re finally okay with me hanging out with Eunji?” Lia knew that Monika had nothing to worry about, because whatever she and Eunji have is completely platonic. But at the same time, she also didn’t want to unintentionally make her jealous, or worse, hurt her girlfriend.

Monika sighed, “Yes, I’m sure. I admit that I was a bit ridiculous for even being mad at her for hanging out with you when you and her are just friends.” 

Then the younger woman continued, “And even if Eunji does make a move on you, which I hope she doesn’t do for her sake,” Monika grumbled, “I trust you.” she smiled at her, with a hint of a little teasing, “Besides, you deserve to have a night out with your friends. I know I'm a great company to have, but you really shouldn’t be spending all of your free time with me.” she said, humorously.

“And here I am, thinking of inviting you with me. I’m taking it back.” Lia pouted jokingly.

“You haven’t even said it!” Monika exclamed, acting as if offended. Then she continued, a little more serious, “That’s okay. I don’t think it would be a great idea to come with you, anyway. Especially with everything going on right now.”

Lia sighed, “You’re right. But I think I should go. I don’t want them to think I’m a party pooper.”

“Yeah, we definitely don’t want that.” 

As they continued talking throughout the night, feelings of happiness and contentment arose within her. So much so that it made her finally make up her mind.

She was finally going to tell Monika that she loves her.

But of course, she’d decide to make an event out of it. Lia believed that grand declarations like this deserved to be said in an equally grand setting.

“What about another date night in my house? Hopefully without all the drama this time.” Lia suddenly asked.

Monika, obviously taken by surprise at the sudden change of topic, nodded and agreed. 

“Great. How does next weekend sound?”

Chapter Text

“Ms. Lia, they’re ready for you.”

“C-coming!” 

If Monika could speak right now, she would’ve said something smart and teased her.

But her girlfriend’s mouth was currently busy between her legs, kneeling under her desk. She didn’t fail to smirk at Lia, though. 

After a few more seconds, Lia finally let out a silent cry as she came. Breathing heavily as she sat limply on her office chair, she saw Monika crawl from under her desk and stood up, smiling cheekily at Lia.

“Oh, you definitely came.” Monika chuckled, wiping her mouth, “I would’ve said you’re definitely coming earlier but my mouth was a little occupied at that moment.” 

Lia rolled her eyes. She knew it. “I told you I have a meeting in ten minutes.” She stood up and looked for her underwear that got discarded earlier. 

Then Monika took something from the pocket of her jeans, dangling it from her hand. It was her red panties. She snatched it immediately from the grinning woman.

“And I told you I’d be finished with you in lesser time than that.” Monika, smug, continued, “And I was right.”

Lia was past being embarrassed at how helpless she was under the woman’s ministrations, so she just said, “I don’t know whether to feel lucky or feel jealous that you have this much experience in pleasuring a woman.”

“My love, you know I’m always a master at any craft.” Monika winked at her, still smug.

How annoying. Annoyingly adorable.

Lia pushed her playfully, and made her way to the door to go to her scheduled meeting for the day.

They really weren’t supposed to meet up today, since she was also supposed to go and meet up with the guys on her team later in the evening. But after Lia sent her a selfie, thirty minutes later, Monika was barging inside her office. As if she just teleported.

Monika said something about the blazer and the necktie doing something to her and then she suddenly found herself being pleasured by Monika’s mouth as she sat on her office chair. 

Lia was lying if she said that she didn’t fantasize about that exact moment once or twice.

“I have to go. I’ll call you later?” Lia said as she reached for the doorknob. 

Monika nodded, “Yeah, I’ll be going now, too. I need to work on my choreography for tonight’s class.” the younger woman pulled her in by the lapels of her blazer, “You should wear CEO clothes more often.”

Lia shook her head, smiling, and kissed the woman before Lia opened the door. As they broke apart, she reached out and fixed Monika’s hair that became a mess from what they did earlier, not noticing how Monika was looking at her full of love in her eyes.

Then her girlfriend spoke softly, “I love you.” this time, it felt like the woman was actually looking hopeful, as if she was waiting for Lia to say it back.

Her heart clenched, as much as she wanted to say it back, she didn’t want to say her first I love you like this, so she just nodded and smiled, her hand coming down to caress the woman’s cheek.

“I’ll see you later.” 

————

Lia stepped inside the doors of the club, awkward and uncomfortable at the dark, loud and unfamiliar setting. She hadn’t stepped foot in this kind of place in forever, so she feared that she would feel too out of place or make the team feel tense because of her unease.

But she told herself that she’d at least make an effort to let go of her worries and just think about having fun, and try to bond with the wonderful dancers that she got to know through the show.

Who knows, what if this is the last time they’d get together like this? Especially if the show becomes even more successful, she was sure that a lot of doors of opportunities could open up for the contestants. They could be even busier than Lia in the next few months.

She finally looked around, trying to search for the familiar faces in this darkened room. When her eyes finally landed on the three people sitting on a high table, she immediately hastened her pace and walked over to them.

They were already having a lively conversation as she reached the table, only pausing for a moment when they finally saw Lia, greeting and hugging her in welcome.

“Coach! We’re so glad you could make it.” Leejung said as she put her arms around her.

“Of course. How could I say no when you three had been texting me non stop after Eunji called me.” Lia chuckled, lightheartedly rolling her eyes.

“How could you resist our cuteness, you mean?” Leejung said in a cutesy voice, batting her eyelashes at her exaggeratingly.

“More like an annoyance.” Lia smirked, her previous nerves finally going away as she bantered with them.

“Our coach here has a hard time admitting she loves us. Don’t worry, we’d get her to admit it by the end of the night.” Eunji said as she wrapped her arms around her shoulders. Lia tensed for a moment at the contact, thoughts of Monika’s jealousy affecting how she reacts to Eunji’s friendly gestures. 

Then Eunji moved her head downwards to look at her, and asked, “So, Coach, what’s your poison?”

Lia realized just how tall the woman was in this proximity, as she looked up at her to meet her eyes, “Hmm, just a martini.”

“Oooh, I thought you were a whiskey neat type of person.” Eunji raised an eyebrow.

“Well, the night is still young. I’m just warming up.”

“Thought so.” The blonde dancer chuckled, then left to go get her drink.

Leaving her with the two young dancers who are animatedly talking among each other, she took that time to send a quick text to Monika to say that she arrived safely and finally met the girls.

The reply was swift.

enjoy, my love!! try not to be the first one to go home haha

Lia is definitely liking how Monika calls her recently. She’s not one for pet names, but this one is making her stomach fill with butterflies, a wide smile threatening to overtake her face.

She was about to send a reply when she heard Harimu suddenly asking her a question.

“So, Coach, we’ve all been dying to know. Are you single?” the youngest cheekily questioned, as if it was the juiciest gossip she could ever get from her.

Hesitating, Lia thought whether to tell them the truth or lie about her relationship status. But she feared that they’d make her pair up with anyone here tonight if she said that she was single. 

So she decided to tell them a little bit of the truth, “It’s… complicated.”

The two dancers looked intrigued.

“So you’re not completely taken?” Harimu said, sharing a sly look with Leejung. She raised an eyebrow, wondering what that was about. 

“I am. It’s just… we’re keeping it a secret at the moment.” Lia cautiously said. “Why are you so interested?” 

They shrugged, both still having that sly look on their faces. “Nothing, just curious.” 

“Are you trying to set me up with someone?” Lia finally voiced out her suspicions.

And she was right, if the slightly alarmed look on their faces was anything to go by.

But before they had a chance to answer, Eunji finally arrived, drinks in hand.

“Hope you weren’t talking about anything interesting while I was gone.” 

“Don’t worry, we’re just asking if our coach is single.” Harimu loudly supplied. Curious, because the same knowing look she shared with Leejung, she’s now also giving it to Eunji. 

What are these three planning?

“Oh? And is she?” Eunji turned to her, her eyebrow raised as if directing the question to her.

But before she could answer, Harimu did it for her, “She said it’s complicated.” putting more weight on that last word.

Eunji looked surprised, and also a little affronted?

“Wow. How could someone be in any kind of relationship with The Lia Kim and not make sure that it was secure?” the blonde dancer said, seemingly offended on her behalf.

Lia didn’t know that Eunji cared this much. It’s probably been too long since she had friends who were genuinely concerned for her well-being, so maybe the dancer’s reaction was just normal.

Well, she got the wrong idea nevertheless, and Lia felt the need to defend Monika in this, “I appreciate your concern, but it’s really not like that. Trust me, we’re very secure right now. We just wanted to keep it lowkey since everything is still new.” she let out a fake laugh, “Wouldn’t want to jinx it.” 

Eunji nodded, like she understood Lia. But she could still see the faint skepticism on her features, “Okay. As long as you’re happy.” she shrugged her shoulders.

Lia gave her a real, huge smile at that.

“I am. I really am.” then Lia couldn’t help but say what was on her mind, “I didn’t know you cared that much.” 

The tall dancer gasped, acting as if offended, “Can I not worry for our dear Coach?”

Lia rolled her eyes, but the smile remained on her face, “Don’t worry. I am very happy and very secure.” 

They all nodded, finally letting the subject go. Then the two youngest dancers immediately jumped from another topic, a topic that she was too old to know about and participate in. Something about that new viral thing on Tiktok or something. 

Lia was doing that thing again where she zones out when she couldn’t relate with the current conversation. She stood there nursing her drink and staring at nothing.

Eunji must’ve sensed that, as she felt her sidle closer to her, crouching down to say something in her ear.

“Would you like to dance?”

————

Monika was humming to the tunes of the soft jazz music playing in the background, swaying slightly as she stirred the stew that she was cooking. She was in a great mood this evening, feeling positively hopeful as she prepared all of Hyowon’s favorite dishes, thinking that she could finally get her best friend’s approval to finally talk it out with Lia.

Tasting the soup and nodding in approval, she turned off the stove with an excited heart and set off to prepare the table. As far as she knows, Hyowon will be here in a few minutes since her best friend said that she’d just take care of a few things in the studio and will be back just in time for dinner.

As she placed the last dish on the table, Monika wiped her hands and took out her phone, texting Hyowon and asking when she’d be back.

She waited for a few minutes for a response. Usually it would only take less than five minutes to get a reply from the younger woman, but it was taking a little longer than usual.

Maybe she’s still in the studio, Monika surmised.

With that thought in mind, she supposed that she should take a quick shower first and just wait in her room. 

But after doing all that and Hyowon still hasn’t come home nor responded to her text, she’s now starting to worry. She shook her head. No, she was probably swamped with whatever work she still has in their academy. So she just laid in her bed and scrolled through her Instagram feed.

She avoided her notifications like the plague, and just looked at her followings’ Posts and Stories.

She saw that Leejung had posted something on her Story, and Monika immediately clicked it, assuming Lia would be in it since they were all together right now.

And she was right. It was a selfie of the four of them, but Monika’s eyes were instantly drawn to Lia. She was wearing a simple short black dress, her hair perfectly straight, and Monika thought that she looked like a Goddess. She smiled to herself as she looked at her girlfriend’s gorgeous face. But before she could appreciate the photo more, the Story promptly proceeded to the next person, and what she saw made her shoot up in her bed.

It was Aiki’s Story, but it was a photo of Hyowon, seemingly taken in Aiki’s POV, and they were clinking glasses. Glasses of what seemed filled with an alcoholic drink if the bottle of tequila in the background was any indication. It looked like they’re in Aiki’s apartment, as they were sitting on the floor of what looked to be a living room.

She didn’t realize how hard she was clenching her phone at that moment, suddenly having mixed feelings of confusion, betrayal and anger. 

Normally, it wouldn’t upset her this much that Hyowon would have sudden plans without informing her, but she could’ve at least texted her back. Especially after preparing dinner just for her.

Although the dinner was because Monika had other motives, she also genuinely wanted to prepare something nice for her friend, especially after the rough few days that they’ve had.

But the fact that Hyowon just promised that she wouldn’t go drinking alone or without Monika to look after her? It infuriated her that the younger woman would intentionally break that promise, knowing how much damage her previous drinking spree caused. 

Her mind clouding with anger, she immediately dialed Hyowon’s number. She knew that it was probably a bad idea, especially now that her temper is getting the better of her. She could probably say something to her friend in the heat of the moment that she’d regret later on.

Monika didn’t know whether to be relieved or even more annoyed that the call went to voicemail, but she still messaged Hyowon, telling her to call her back.

She threw the phone in her bed in annoyance. She was so mad that she even thought of storming Aiki’s house and drag Hyowon out of there. She quickly shut down that thought because that would be too much. Hyowon isn’t a child.

But Monika still felt like some overbearing parent trying to discipline her rebelling daughter at that moment that she couldn’t help but laugh sarcastically and sighed to herself. She needed to have faith that Hyowon isn’t intentionally disregarding what they just talked about and she actually has an explanation for all of this. Because her head is going to explode trying to wrap her mind around her roommate’s current behavior. 

She laid back down on her bed and just tried to sleep some of the annoyance away. 

————

“I love this song.” 

Lia suddenly found herself swaying to the slow music, her body pressing against Eunji. Her hands were on top of the tall dancer’s shoulders as the latter had her arms resting on her hips. 

It started with them just ridiculously dancing to the upbeat and loud music, just trying to let loose and warm themselves up for the night. There were only a few people on the dance floor by then, as they stood almost a meter apart from each other.

That’s until people slowly filtered in, the space getting more and more crowded. Some were almost bumping into Lia, and Eunji seemed to notice that so she guided her closer to her, almost leaving no space between them. 

Lia felt uncomfortable at first, not used to the nightclub scene and dancing almost so intimately close to other people, but Eunji’s comfortable and bright personality eventually got her to relax, following her lead and just dancing to the music with no care in the world.

The buzz of the alcohol was finally taking its effect and Lia felt more carefree than ever, laughing with Eunji as they did even crazier dance moves, even getting some looks from people around them. She loved how Eunji was able to match her energy as she did these silly moves with her, and it helped her not think about what other people might think. She was able to have fun with no worries all thanks to her and Lia was grateful.

After finishing her third glass of whiskey, Lia was feeling a little tipsy so it barely registered to her that she was suddenly being pulled closer to another body, the music abruptly changing to a slow, sensual one. She had her eyes closed as she felt the room moving a bit, so she didn’t even resist that her hands were being guided on a taller figure, slender hands snaking on her waist, pulling her even more closer. The soft voice spoke, saying how much she loves the song. The body that was pressing on her was warm and feminine, and Lia thought how nice it was. 

That made her instantaneously snap her eyes open, sobering her up a bit, reprimanding herself for thinking that. 

And that’s how she found herself in this position. Friends usually dance like this, right? This is probably nothing out of the ordinary. It made her a little awkward though, and she was looking at anything other than the woman in front of her.

After a few more minutes of staying like this, she still couldn’t help feeling a little uncomfortable. Monika’s jealousy was rearing in the back of her mind, affecting how she’s reacting in this situation. It normally infuriates her when a partner dictates how she sees the situation but Monika’s not just anyone, she loves her too much to disregard her feelings like this. Even though she doesn’t see Eunji that way, she still couldn’t help but feel slightly guilty.

So with that, she cleared her throat and gently disentangled herself from the blonde. She smiled a little apologetically, “I’m a little tired, I’m gonna go back to the table.”

“It’s okay, I’m a bit exhausted, too. Who knew you could be such a party girl?” Eunji smirked, teasing her.

“I am no such thing.” Lia said indignant, but couldn’t help but smile a bit, “I was just trying to keep up with you.”

“Okay, if you say so.” Eunji sing-songed. Lia just rolled her eyes.

They left the dance floor and went back to their table, only to find it empty.

“Leejung texted and said that she went ahead first, something about going home with a girl named Noze. Good for her.” Eunji said as she checked on her phone.

“And Harimu said that she had an emergency at home and that she was sorry that she had to go, too, but said that we should stay and don’t let the night go to waste.” Lia read the other dancer’s text. “Did they just ditch us?” she laughed in disbelief. Her senses were telling her that somehow, these kids were planning something, whatever it was, Lia doesn’t have any clue. But she was sure that both of them leaving wasn’t just a coincidence.

Whatever it was, she tried to forget about it since her head wasn’t in any capacity to analyze their actions right now. She’s here to have fun.

“It seems so.” the tall dancer just shrugged as if it wasn’t a big deal, and asked, “Well, we were having fun with just the two of us anyway. Should we order more drinks?”

Lia chuckled, entertained at how easily Eunji recovered. And maybe another drink or two wouldn’t hurt, even though her head was already spinning. She wasn’t really looking forward to going home early to an empty house anyway. 

“Sure, why not.”

————

Monika startled awake to the sound of the front door slamming. She reached for her phone to look at the time and saw that it was already past midnight. All the irritation from earlier immediately came back, remembering what Hyowon just did tonight.

Getting out of bed and opening the door to her room, the vision of Hyowon stumbling inside greeted her. 

God, she was completely wrecked. It disappointed Monika even more.

Her temper rising, she didn’t waste any time telling her best friend off, “You completely went against my orders.” Monika said in a low but dangerous voice.

Hyowon wasn’t fazed though. “Orders?” she scoffed, “Who are you to give me orders?”

Monika’s eyes that were stricken in fury, widened in disbelief, “What did you just say?” People would normally be cowering by now if they heard the almost murderous tone of her voice, but not Hyowon. 

Instead, her best friend matched the rage in her face and walked straight to her even in her inebriated state, and repeated the words, “I said, who. are. you. to. tell. me. what. to. do!” Hyowon poked her in the chest as she said each word. 

And Monika couldn’t find it in her to be furious at her friend anymore, instead, she just felt sad for her. 

“What’s wrong with you?” Monika said in a whisper, her words sorrowful.

“What’s wrong with me?” Hyowon scoffed, “Yeah, what is wrong with me? Tell me.” she laughed, but it was devoid of humor.

“Hyowon, stop it. Why are you acting like this?” Monika was almost pleading with her.

Hyowon just continued laughing at her, but her eyes were hollow.

“God, you really are dense, aren’t you? And I thought I was the slow one.”

The realization of where this was going finally hit her as she looked at the pain and hurt in her best friend’s red-rimmed eyes, tears beginning to pool.

It’s not that she didn’t know. She just refused to believe it until Hyowon was directly saying it to her face. 

“You wanna know why I’m like this?” A stray tear fell on her best friend’s face.

No, Monika really didn’t want to know.

“It’s because of you.” The way Hyowon said it was full of venom that Monika believed that she really had done her wrong.

Monika stood there quietly, her own tears falling involuntarily, afraid of what’s about to come. 

“It’s because I’m fucking in love with you.”

Hyowon finally let out a gut-wrenching sob that she’d been holding back, and Monika couldn’t help but cry with her, her heart aching for the woman.

“Hyowon… I- I’m sorry.”

She didn’t know what else to say.

“Why? Because you’re in love with Lia? What’s so special about her? What does she have that I don’t!?” Hyowon shouted, hysterically. 

“Please, Hyowon—”

“No! She left you, for Christ’s sake! I was the one who stayed! I was the one who picked up the pieces and helped you become whole again. It was me! Me!”

The anguish that filled those words felt like it was slicing through Monika, and she hugged herself as if it was physically hurting her.

“Hyowon…” Monika sobbed. She tried to find the right words to say, but she was at a loss. 

“And yet, you still chose her over me.” Hyowon spat, the despair from earlier was immediately replaced with hostility. 

“I’m not choosing anyone. You’re both important to me.” Monika didn’t care if it sounded desperate, but it killed her to think that Hyowon believed that  she was less than important to her just because she wasn’t in love with her. 

“Then why am I not the one you’re in love with? Is it because she’s more successful than me?”

“Of course not!”

“Is it because she’s rich? Or is it because she could help you with your career more?” Hyowon was giving her that emotionless laugh again, and Monika despised it to no end. 

“Hyowon, stop—” 

“Do you find her more beautiful than me?” 

Enough.

“You’re being ridiculous!” 

“Do you like her body more? Am I not attractive enough for you?” 

As Hyowon said those words, Monika watched in alarm as her friend took off her sweatshirt and t-shirt, exposing the bare skin underneath. She was about to reach behind her to unclasp her bra and it made Monika spur to action and took a hold of her arms, stopping her.

That movement put her much closer to the woman, and she could feel the breath on her face when her friend spoke, “Is she that good in bed? How could you choose her when you haven’t even given me a chance?” 

Monika almost recoiled at the vulgar words that came out of her best friend’s mouth, but she didn’t get the chance to respond when she was suddenly being pushed against the wall, and Hyowon was kissing her, hard.

Or more like smashing her lips onto Monika’s unresponsive mouth.

This had gone on for far too long. Nothing she could say or do could break Hyowon out of this stupor. And Monika was tired, so so tired.

So she just stayed where she was, frozen, as if resembling a statue. She didn’t have it in her to fight the woman anymore, her tears falling as Hyowon kept trying to move her lips against her.

But after a few more moments of staying still, Hyowon seemed to notice that Monika would never kiss her back, so she stopped trying and pulled away from her. 

“Hyowon… please, enough.” Monika implored once again.

Then something changed in Hyowon’s eyes, as if realizing the weight of what she just did and said tonight, and Monika could only watch as she broke down in a heap on the floor, letting out a heartbreaking sob. The woman hugged her knees as she cried and cried.

And it felt like Monika’s entire being was being crushed as she watched and listened to her best friend cry in despair, her heart clenching as her wails were getting louder. 

It was the first time in their whole lives that Monika felt entirely helpless when it came to her friend. Hyowon looked utterly broken and Monika didn’t have a clue on how to fix it. 

So she just kneeled beside her, and Monika encased her in a hug as she cradled Hyowon’s head against her chest, letting the woman weep in her arms.

Comfort was the only thing that Monika could give her at the moment, and she just hoped that it was enough.

Monika was truly sorry that she couldn’t give her more. 

————

“Weee should orrrder morrrre!”

Lia giggled at the way Eunji was slurring her words, “I think it’s time to stop.” she chuckled as she tried to steady the blonde when she swayed to the side and almost fell.

“NOOOOOO!!”

Several people looked their way at that, some even sent them some annoyed glances and Lia had to apologize to them. She knew she needed to get out of there before they made more of a ruckus and someone recognized them.

And the alcohol was already hitting Lia hard now, too, except she wasn’t the kind of drunk like Eunji. She doesn’t become wild or reckless, doesn’t become more uninhibited than normal. No, she was the type to become a little sleepy, and sometimes she’d even pass out when she finally reached her limit.

That’s why they had to leave before Lia blacked out on Eunji, and God knows what the dancer would do once Lia was out. 

She took out her phone to call themselves a cab, and saw that it was almost 3am now.

And surprisingly, no text messages from Monika.

That was surely odd, because the woman never misses a good night text or two from her. 

Maybe Monika was that dedicated to giving this whole night to her that she thought a simple text would disturb her night. 

Well, she’d worry about this tomorrow. Right now, she has a blonde drunk she has to take care of.

“Come on. It’s time to go home.”

The woman, who had her head down just groaned, and when she looked up, she gave Lia a childish pout. It made Lia laugh.

“Give me your address, I’ll hail you a cab.”

And the pout on the dancer’s face turned into something akin to alarm, then she reached out to take Lia’s arm, as if pleading.

“No, I can’t go home… like this. My mom would kill meeee.” 

She guessed even thirty-year-old adults would still have strict parents. Lia wouldn’t know because she had been living alone since she was in her twenties.

“Okay, then where would you go?”

“I’ll jussss rent a room,” Eunji heaved a sigh, she seemed to be having difficulty getting her words out, “in a motel.”

“Where? Do you have an establishment in mind?”

Eunji shrugged, and the action made her lose her balance a bit, Lia steadying her by her arm.

“I’ll walk around.”

In this state? Like hell she is. 

Lia didn’t need to list all the ways how unsafe that is. 

She hesitated, an idea coming to mind but she wasn’t sure if it was appropriate or if it’s right.

But looking at how the poor woman plopped down on the table again, the only way she could get her to safety tonight is this.

“You could spend the night at my house.”

Eunji looked up in a flash, Lia worried that she gave herself whiplash.

“Sorry, did I hear that right? You offered to take me to your house?” Eunji shrieked.

Lia looked around again, concerned that they disturbed someone, “Yes. No need to shout.”

“Sorry…” Eunji whispered theatrically.

Lia successfully booked a cab in a minute, impressed that she got one at this hour. So she immediately stood up and gathered her and Eunji’s things, then took the woman’s arm and helped her get up.

Spending all that time training in the gym was proving to be fruitful as Eunji leaned most of her weight onto her, and Lia was able to prevent them from toppling to the ground.

She guided her outside, Eunji’s arm wrapping around her and her head leaning on her shoulder, while Lia held her by the waist. It was proving to be an uncomfortable position considering that the blonde was much taller than her, but Lia did her best to maneuver them, careful not to make them fall.

“Eunji, you need to help me and try to at least walk properly. Can you do that?” Lia exhaled, already exhausted and they still haven’t gotten out.

The woman just nodded against her neck, but her walking significantly improved, although it was still a bit clumsy with their position.

After a few minutes of struggling, they finally reached outside where a cab was waiting for them. They got in with a little difficulty, Eunji’s limbs still a little uncooperative, but Lia was glad that they’re finally inside. 

In thirty minutes, they eventually arrived at Lia’s house. She nudged Eunji awake, and she looked a little disoriented at first, but thankfully, she sobered up a bit to get out of the car without any help.

Lia took her arm for good measure, not wanting Eunji to stumble and injure herself especially when she’s in her responsibility, guiding her inside and into the guest bedroom.

As they reached the bed, Eunji immediately crashed into it face down, not even caring that a third of her body was hanging on the edge.

Lia carefully rolled her over, afraid that she’d suffocate herself in her sleep or make herself nauseous. But as she finally laid her on her back, Lia squealed as she was suddenly being pulled by the wrist, landing on top of the blonde dancer.

She was able to stabilize herself with her other hand as she avoided completely falling over Eunji, but she realized that her face was still mere inches from the woman. Lia watched as her eyes fluttered open, and she was surprised at the firm look that Eunji was giving her. 

Lia wouldn’t think that she was just stumbling and slurring her words and was being a comical mess earlier.

She was definitely shocked to say the least, confused as to why Eunji just pulled her like that. She was so taken aback that she suddenly froze, not knowing what to do.

Her alcohol fuddled brain certainly didn’t help.

Then Eunji spoke in a whisper.

“You’re so pretty.” she said as she tucked Lia’s hair behind her ear.

That’s when Lia knew that she had to get up, the atmosphere suddenly getting dangerous. 

Lia wasn’t dumb. She knew all too well where this thing could lead if she wasn’t careful.

She just hoped that this was just one of Eunji’s drunk behaviors and the woman wasn’t actually attracted to her or anything.

Lia also tried to block the saying that people become more truthful when they’re drunk, because it wasn’t necessarily helping this situation.

Finally standing up and distancing herself from Eunji, who seemed to be watching her every move, her features still looking serious, she cleared her throat.

“Get some rest. I’ll see you in the morning.”

Lia was gone in seconds, closing the door behind her. She exhaled a breath, her head aching at how the night was turning out.

She tried to clear her mind because it was all too much for her. She just focused on washing up and getting some rest.

As she was finally relaxing on her soft, warm bed, she sent a quick text to Monika to say that she had safely gotten home. She hesitated whether to say that she didn’t come home alone, but she was afraid that her girlfriend would get the wrong idea.

Besides, Eunji would be out of her hair by morning, and it would be as if nothing happened.

She’d probably just let her know tomorrow, when she could at least talk to her through a phone call. 

Right now, all she wanted was to get some sleep, the exhaustion and the accumulated drinks from tonight suddenly hitting her. 

————

It took almost an hour of soothing and consoling Hyowon before her cries died down, and when Monika was sure that she had finally calmed down, she helped Hyowon stand back up.

Without a word, Monika guided Hyowon to her room and into bed, waiting until she laid back down. As she tucked her in and made sure that Hyowon was settled, she turned around to go back to her own room.

Only for her to be stopped in her tracks as she felt her hand being pulled back.

She looked back down on her friend, her eyes that were bloodshot and swollen from hours of crying seemed to be begging.

“Please, stay.” a tear fell again on her face, “Hold me. Just… just for tonight.” 

Like all the times where Monika would have night terrors and Hyowon would be there to hold and hug her to sleep or until she had calmed down. Only this time, it was the other way around.

And this time, the situation is entirely different. 

She hesitated, worried that this would make it worse and Hyowon would still cling on to her desperately. 

But one look in those sad, dark eyes, imploring her to stay, Monika couldn’t help but cave in.

And now she found herself still wide awake, hours after she laid with her friend, and said friend was using her arm as her pillow as she faced the other way. Her other arm was wrapped in Hyowon’s midsection, her hand being held tightly on her friend’s chest.

They had slept like this for far too often for Monika to still find this uncomfortable, but in the wake of Hyowon’s confession, it bothered her that this might be too intimate.

She knew that Lia was mature enough to understand the situation if she explained it enough, but Monika knew that she had to set some boundaries soon. She wasn’t only doing this for Lia, but she was also doing it for Hyowon as well. Because her best friend needed to move on from her. 

But at the same time, Monika knew that she’d be there in a heartbeat for her best friend whenever she’d ask to be comforted like this, like how she just gave in earlier. She loved her too much to just turn her away. 

She closed her eyes, trying to shut off her mind. 

Tonight, she’d give Hyowon this.

Tomorrow, it’s time to establish some limits and try to at least set things straight with Hyowon.

But as morning came, Monika found herself all alone in her best friend’s room. She got up to look for her, but the still, quiet sound in the whole house already hinted to Monika that she wouldn’t find her here as well.

And she was right, as she found a note on their dining table in Hyowon’s handwriting.

I’m sorry for what happened last night. I need some time to think about everything. Please don’t look for me.

Monika stood there for almost a few minutes, reading the note over and over again seeing if she missed anything or if she could find something that could give her a clue on where Hyowon would be. But when she came up with nothing, she crumpled the paper in defeat, not realizing that tears were involuntarily falling on her face.

It reminded her too much of the time where Lia left, and Monika panicked, fearful that the same thing was happening again.

Oh God, that reminds her. Monika hadn’t heard nor contacted Lia all night. She didn’t even know if she got home safe. She was so preoccupied with Hyowon that she almost forgot about her girlfriend. She checked her phone and saw the multiple texts from Lia. She sighed in relief when she saw that she was able to get home safe.

She sent a quick reply. 

She also wanted to tell Lia everything that happened last night, but she thought that this story would be best told in person.

So with one thought in mind, she wiped her tears and moved on auto-pilot, took a shower and stepped outside with one destination in mind.

Monika could really use a hug from her girlfriend right now.

————

“Ugh…”

Lia was rudely woken up to the sound of her doorbell ringing, her head pounding along with it.

She tried to smother the sound by putting a pillow over her head, hoping whoever it was at the door would eventually go away. 

It rang again after a few seconds, so with a groan, she tried to sit up to check who it was, only for her to realize that a weight was trapping her on the bed.

Opening her eyes, she saw that a pale arm was hugging her waist, spooning her from behind. 

And it was definitely not Monika, if the missing tattoos were clear indications.

Oh God. 

She immediately shot up, the blanket that was covering her slipping down, and saw that she was also missing her clothes save for her undies. She vaguely remembered removing her clothes in the middle of the night because she was feeling warmer than usual. It was probably due to the alcohol in her system. 

But looking at the bare shoulders of the woman beside her, who’s still sleeping fine despite the ringing at the door, Lia was confused why Eunji was naked.

She clearly remembered leaving Eunji in the guest room and sleeping alone, so why was she suddenly here? Beside her? And with no clothes on?

Last night was definitely a blur because she was on the verge of passing out but Lia was sure that her memories were still intact. 

However, Lia could feel herself panicking, afraid that she suddenly did something that she shouldn’t have done and she couldn’t even remember it. 

She took the blanket and covered herself up before she nudged the blonde awake. 

Fortunately, the blaring sound of the doorbell stopped and Lia had one less thing to answer to right now.

“Eunji, wake up.” Lia tapped her shoulder.

“Mmnnggg one more minute…” Eunji whined, not budging. She was lying face down and her long hair was covering her face so Lia couldn’t see whether she was opening her eyes or not.

“You shouldn’t be here. Get up.” Lia tried again, shaking her arm a little roughly this time.

“Huh? Lia? What are you doing here?” Eunji finally moved and rolled over, stretching her arms as she yawned.

Lia immediately looked away as that action exposed her bare skin, almost giving her an eyeful.

“I was just about to ask you the same thing. You’re in my room.” 

“What?” Eunji finally sat up. “Why are you naked?” Lia could hear the slight alarm in her voice. 

“Why are you naked?” Lia retorted, still looking away from the woman. 

“Oh, shit.” She could see in the corner of her eye how Eunji covered herself with haste. “Fuck. What happened last night?!”

But before she could answer, the door suddenly bursts open, revealing a stunned Monika.

That’s why the doorbell stopped. Monika must’ve used the spare key.

Wait. Monika.

“This is not what it looks like!” Lia was quick to defend herself.

She saw how the emotions on Monika’s face went through a series of changes, from confusion to shock and now, settling on hurt and anger. 

The nausea from earlier suddenly came back, and she was rushing to the ensuite bathroom naked. 

She didn’t hear any movements in the room as she emptied her stomach, or maybe she couldn’t hear anything over the sound of her retching. When she couldn’t get anything out anymore and her stomach settled, she cleaned herself up quickly and returned to the room. 

Only to see that Monika was still rooted on the same spot she saw her earlier, the same expression still on her face. The only change was the reddening of her eyes as she looked close to tears. 

It broke Lia’s heart to see her like that, and she wanted nothing but to clear this misunderstanding up just so she could take that pain away from her.

This was a really, really shitty situation and Lia would do anything just to get out of it.

Picking up her shirt, she immediately put it on as she walked closer to Monika.

Her heart almost shattered when her girlfriend took a step back, seemingly wanting to keep her distance.

So Lia paused, and tried to explain from where she was standing. 

“Monika, I can explain–”

“You were naked.” Monika said, her words hollow.

“You know how I always sleep in the nude.” Lia nervously chuckled. It was the truth, but she still reprimanded herself mentally for trying to make light of the situation. 

And Monika clearly didn’t take it well. 

“Oh yeah? What about her? She sleeps in the nude, too?” A mirthless laugh came out of Monika. “What the fuck is she doing here, Lia?”

Lia mentally cringed at the dangerous tone of Monika’s voice. She knew she had to rectify this fast before it got out of hand.

She saw that Eunji was about to open her mouth and speak for herself, but she put up a hand, indicating that she should stay out of it.

“Calm down, please. Let me explain.” Lia said gently, as if it would make Monika’s growing anger simmer down.

“I think this already explains everything.” Monika gestured at the scene in front of her. Lia could see the hurt and betrayal reflecting in her eyes, and she couldn’t take it anymore. 

She stepped forward and tried to close the distance again. When Monika didn’t move, Lia continued and as she reached her, she gathered her in a tight hug.

But Monika shunned her away, removing herself from her embrace. It made Lia want to cry.

“Nothing happened! Please, Monika, you have to believe me.” Lia had to believe it. Regardless of whether she couldn’t remember how Eunji ended up in bed with her, she needed to have faith that nothing really happened.

She tried not to let that doubt show. 

“Then where the fuck are her clothes? You really expect me to believe that nothing happened when you’re both in bed, naked?”

Eunji finally spoke, despite Lia’s command, “My clothes weren’t exactly that comfortable last night. I must’ve come here to ask for some comfortable ones but I guess I ended up falling asleep here instead.”

“You guessed?” Monika sneered, “You’re not even sure.”

But now that Lia was closer, she could see how exhausted and swollen Monika’s eyes looked. And it was definitely not just because of what she witnessed today. 

Something happened yesterday.

And Lia’s assumption was proved right with Monika’s next words.

“Fuck, Lia. I came here because I needed you. I came here because I thought I could take a break from the shitshow that is my life right now. But it looks like coming here just made it even shittier.”

Lia was losing control of the situation and it seemed that she was only making things worse. 

She needed to fix and explain this quickly, before it was too late.

“She’s here because I offered to let her sleep in the guestroom since we got home really late last night. We slept immediately after we got here and I definitely remember sleeping alone. Eunji must’ve slept-walked, or drunk-walked and accidentally got into my room. I promise you. Nothing happened. Don’t you trust me?” Lia frantically pleaded with her. 

She should’ve just gave her a heads up last night when she had the chance. At least she wouldn’t have to clarify everything right now with urgency. 

Lia truly hated herself at that moment.

Because if she did, Monika wouldn’t at least look like this. The anguished look on her face remained unchanged, and she seemed to be rejecting everything she’s saying right now. Sad, angry tears were streaming down her already reddening face.

And then her next words felt like she was just stabbed in the heart.

“I’m tired, Lia. I really don’t need this right now.”

“Monika, please. Believe me.” Lia didn’t care if she was begging now.

“I don’t even know what to believe anymore!” Monika paused, and the look she gave her next was one that was full of sorrow, “I always feel like you’re always holding back from me. I don’t know what goes on in your head sometimes, and I tried to be patient, hoping you’d tell me everything on your own terms, but… I somehow feel like you don’t trust me enough to see beyond those walls that you’ve put up.” Monika looked at her, hurt in her eyes, “And you can’t even bring yourself to say you love me.”

Lia felt like she was punched in the gut, hearing the painful but accurate words come out of Monika.

Her own reservations and her inability to fully break down her walls did not go unnoticed by the woman. But it pained her that Monika would think that it was because she didn’t trust her. 

No. It was because Lia was afraid.

Afraid of being vulnerable. Afraid of putting herself out there. 

Afraid of loving and saying it.

She wanted to rectify the situation, and say that no– she trusts Monika with her life and that she loved her, but not like this. She didn’t want Monika to think that she was just saying it just to placate her.

So no words left her mouth, and Monika seemed to take that as agreement to everything she said.

Lia bowed her head in shame, “I’m sorry.” These were the only words she could utter right now.

“Yeah, well. I’m sorry, too.”

Lia was confused, “Why?”

“Because I’m going to ask you to give me some space. I need some time to breathe and think.” Monika said it in a scaringly cold tone that Lia almost shivered.

No. This can’t be happening.

“Monika, we can figure this out. Together. You don’t have to do it alone. You told me that we could be each other’s safe space.”

Monika just shook her head, sadness in her eyes, “Well, I don’t exactly feel very safe right now.” She pointedly looked at her naked form and to the woman behind her. “Goodbye, Lia.”

Lia stood shell-shocked as she watched the love of her life leave. She wanted to run and stop her, but it was like someone put a spell on her that made her freeze and stayed rooted to the floor.

She only broke out of the trance when she heard Eunji say, “Are you okay?” 

And everything finally hit her.

She let out all the despair she was feeling in one loud sob. She covered her mouth to smother the loud cries, her body shaking.

She barely registered Eunji comforting her as she rubbed her back, slowly guiding her to lean her head on the blonde woman’s shoulder. Everything felt so bleak that she didn’t even resist the comfort of the woman who was the reason why Monika left.

Who was she kidding? It wasn’t because of Eunji. 

Monika left because of her. Because of her inability to open up to her. Her inability to say what she truly felt. To say that she loved her.

She cried and cried for herself, for the woman she hurt, and for the relationship that she was ruining because of her actions.

Chapter Text

Dread and emptiness filled Monika as she came back to an empty house, still reeling from everything that had happened since last night. Nonstop tears flowed on the ride home, not even caring that the driver was sending her some strange glances.

And now as she sat on the couch, her eyes unseeing, tears had already stopped as though she had nothing left to cry.

Hyowon was gone. Lia betrayed her. 

This feeling of utter despair was something that she thought she wouldn’t experience again, but no, she was thoroughly mistaken.

She couldn’t even wrap her mind around what just happened, because it all went down so fast. 

Only last week, she was happily sitting on Lia’s bed conversing and making love with her. And Hyowon was still in the house. Even though she was still not herself, at least she was there with Monika.

The worst part about all of this was that she had to suffer through this pain alone, whereas before, she used to have both or either of them by her side comforting and supporting her.

Was this all her fault? Did she handle the situation with Hyowon poorly? And was she not enough for Lia not to trust her and be completely open with her?  

Self-loathing and doubt crept up on her, ultimately blaming herself for ruining the most important relationships she had ever had. 

She laid down on the couch and gathered herself in a ball, closing her eyes to try and chase the misery away.

And then hours later, she was waking up to darkness, realizing that her complete exhaustion made her sleep until the evening. A vibrating sound was ringing in her pocket, and she took out the source. She squinted at the harsh light of her phone and saw that it was Lia calling her. 

She sighed. Monika wasn’t ready to talk and deal with the woman yet. She let it ring until it went to voicemail. 

After a few seconds, the doorbell rang.

And a text from Lia popped out of her phone.

I’m outside your door.

Monika groaned. She wasn’t awake enough for this.

But she couldn’t just turn her away like this, especially if Lia went through the trouble of going to Monika’s house at… she checked her phone… 11PM?

How was it so late? Monika couldn’t believe she just slept for almost an entire day. 

She slowly sat up, still groggy and her head aching from sleeping so long and from all those crying. Turning on the flashlight on her phone, she stood up and turned the lights on, and finally went to the door.

She exhaled as though getting ready to face whoever was at the other side of the door. When Monika finally felt that she was up for it, she opened the door.

And then she was looking at the distraught face of the woman she loves, her eyes appearing red and tired like she just cried all day. 

“What happened? I’ve been trying to reach your phone all day!” Lia demanded, her voice almost cracking and Monika could hear the worry in it.

She almost caved.

“I told you I needed some time to think.” Monika grumbled, rubbing her tired face. 

Lia looked a little guilty at that, “I know. But… I couldn’t just let you. You just looked so stressed earlier and I know something happened to you and it’s not just because of what you saw that morning…” Lia bowed her head down, appearing apologetic, “And I couldn’t just let you go through it without me by your side.” She looked up at Monika again, and her eyes were shining with empathy.

And Monika couldn’t take it anymore. It just sounded so sincere and the genuine worry on Lia’s face made her crumble again, and tears automatically burst out of her.

Lia was quick to step forward and gathered her in her arms. Monika just sinked into her, letting out a loud sob that she had tried to hold back earlier on the ride home. She saw Lia stepping inside further, taking Monika with her, and reached behind her to close the door.

She could feel Lia’s hand soothingly rubbing the top of her head, and it was just so calming that Monika couldn’t resist putting her arms around her girlfriend, hugging her tightly. 

This was what she was looking for when she came to Lia’s house that morning. But instead, all she got was the visual of her girlfriend naked in bed with another woman.

She should be pushing her away and making her leave her house with that reminder. But the need to receive this comfort from her girlfriend was stronger than the anger she should be feeling right now.

Monika was exhausted, and she honestly didn’t really want to be alone tonight.

“Please… stay…” Monika let out in between harsh cries.

“I wouldn’t go anywhere.” Lia gently said. 

“I’m still mad at you.” 

Lia chuckled sadly, “I know.”

They stayed like that for almost five minutes where Lia was just rubbing circles on her back and stroking her hair, and Monika had her face buried in her girlfriend’s neck, crying. They stood there until Monika’s cries died down and she reluctantly pulled away. She told Lia that they should get inside.

They sat on the couch and they automatically resumed the position earlier by the door. As Lia sat down, she took Monika in her arms again, and she followed suit by laying her head on Lia’s shoulder. Even though they still had their own issues to sort out, the solace that her girlfriend provided felt too good to turn down.

“Tell me what happened?” Lia softly inquired while massaging her head. Monika tried to hold back a moan at how relaxing it felt.

She cleared her throat, “Hyowon happened.” Monika rasped out, “She confessed last night. About her feelings for me.” 

If it was any other day, Lia would’ve said I told you so. She was almost glad that they weren’t on good terms as of the moment because she would’ve already been teased right now.

Well, Lia wouldn’t be teasing her either way since she knew how serious the situation was if Monika looked this anguished.

Lia just hummed, and waited for Monika to tell the whole story.

“I apologized for not returning her feelings, and it broke her. She tried to kiss me, but when I didn’t kiss her back, she broke down.” Monika felt her throat constricting again as she remembered what happened last night. “I felt really bad for her. It was the first time I had seen her lose herself like that.” 

Lia hugged her tightly and let her continue. 

“She just cried her eyes out until I tucked her in. She asked me if I could hold her for just one night, and I did. It was the least I could do for her.” Monika said a little sheepishly, “I’m sorry if this bothers you, but I promise we didn’t do anything. We just slept.”

“It doesn’t. It’s fine.” Lia whispered soothingly. Monika was almost impressed that she didn’t sound upset. Normally she would sound and look grumpy by now. 

Maybe because she just caught her sleeping with another woman as well, and Lia knew that she didn’t have the right to be mad at the situation.

“I’m not just saying this because of what you saw earlier. I understand you and I know you were just trying to be a good friend.”

Wow, it was as if Lia just read her mind.

Or her girlfriend just knew her that well. Monika wasn’t exactly as mysterious as Lia. She’s much more expressive and she had no qualms in letting out her thoughts and feelings.

Unlike Lia, whom Monika seemed to feel like she was still holding back from her. 

But she really couldn’t blame her if she was being honest. Monika didn’t want to assume, but it felt like a huge part of why Lia had become like that was because of the pain that she had caused her all those years ago. Maybe she had learned to close herself off so that history wouldn’t repeat itself. Monika knew that she’d probably do the same thing.

She could cut her some slack for that. But what she couldn’t do right now is get over the fact that Lia didn’t tell her immediately about Eunji staying the night with her. At least Monika could’ve prepared herself for what she saw that morning.

Or not. Nothing could absolutely prepare her for that.

Deep down, Monika knew that Lia wouldn’t intentionally do anything that could really hurt her. She believed her wholeheartedly when Lia said that nothing really happened. But with her mind already being as messy as it was because of Hyowon, she wasn’t in the right capacity to truly understand Lia at that moment.

But she could at least try right now.

“Yeah. About that, I think I should also apologize for jumping into conclusions without hearing your side.” Monika lifted her head and met Lia’s eyes, “I think I’m ready to listen now.” 

Lia gave her a smile that conveyed how relieved she was that Monika was giving her a chance to explain. 

And so Lia recounted how she offered her place to Eunji because the dancer didn’t want her parents to see her come home wasted, and Lia didn’t want her to stay at a nearby motel alone since it could be dangerous especially with her state that night. Monika easily understood, nodding as Lia told her everything.

“I know it’s a mistake that I didn’t let you know immediately about it, but I planned to call you the next day to tell you.” Lia looked as though she was pleading with her, trying to make Monika believe her. 

And then she looked a little hesitant, like the next part of her story was something Monika wouldn’t like to hear. 

Oh God, did something really happen between them? It still wasn’t clear why they ended up in the same bed that morning.

“Also, Eunji, she… I think it was because she was really drunk, but…” Lia exhaled, “when I was putting her in bed in the guestroom, she pulled me and I fell on top of her.” 

Monika’s eyes widened at that. 

She knew that woman was trouble.

She could already feel her blood boiling again. Lia, easily noticing it, took her hand and squeezed it, as though calming her down. 

“I have to tell you everything because I didn’t want it to cause problems later. When she pulled me in, she told me that I was pretty. Which wasn’t unusual because she’d often compliment me on my looks. But the way she said it then…” then Lia shook her head, “I don’t know, maybe she becomes really flirty when drunk. And what she told you about how she ended up sleeping beside me that morning, I guess it was all true. I must’ve been sleeping deeply, that's why I didn’t notice that she got in bed with me. But I know that nothing truly happened. Believe me.”

Annoyance grew within her as she listened to Lia. She believed her girlfriend.

But who she couldn’t believe and trust was that woman. She could probably be lying about how Eunji went to Lia’s room naked. What if she tried to take advantage of her? 

She grunted and stood up immediately, the thought of Eunji doing something to Lia making her see red.

“Where are you going?” Lia asked. She looked a little surprised, probably because of how Monika suddenly stood up, anger in her features.

“I’m going to give that little bitch a piece of my mind.” Monika grumbled.

Lia pulled her down through their conjoined hands, “You will do no such thing. I already took care of it.” 

Monika still had the urge to grab that woman by the head. But looking at the stern look that Lia was giving her, she relented, sighing as she sat back down.

She still couldn’t help but pout a bit at the fact that she wasn’t the one who told Eunji off, “What did you say to her?”

“I simply told her that her behavior was out of line. And I told her the truth about us, if it wasn’t still obvious.” Lia calmly said, “She apologized and told me that she’d be more careful next time.”

“She better.”

If it was Monika, she would’ve already said a curse word or two at her. And if it was up to her, there probably wouldn’t be any next time. She was still mad, but she found that none of it was directed at Lia anymore. She was just really pissed at the blonde.

And to make things worse, Lia had to practice with Eunji alone to prepare for their performance for the finals. 

Monika just had to have faith that the dancer would stay true to her word, because she wouldn’t be able to contain herself if she tried something again. Even if it was intentional or not.

Then she remembered some of the things she said to Lia, too. Monika realized that it wasn’t fair to make her do things that she still wasn’t prepared for. 

Clearing her throat, she said, “I also wanted to apologize for the things I said. My temper got the best of me and I said some things that were uncalled for. And I shouldn’t have pressured you to say something that you obviously weren’t ready to say yet.” Monika apologetically said.

The stunned look on Lia’s face told her that she didn’t expect Monika to say sorry, “You don’t have to. Everything you said was right.” and her tone sounded so self-deprecating that Monika’s heart ached a little.

“No, it wasn’t. I don’t want to rush you into anything.” Monika took her hands and smiled at her sincerely, “Take all the time you need. I’m not going anywhere.” Then she remembered that she just walked out on Lia this morning, Monika added sheepishly, “I may ask for some space but that doesn’t mean that I’m leaving for good.” 

Lia looked like she was about to cry, seemingly touched at Monika’s words, “I thought you’re still mad at me?” 

Monika chuckled softly, “I think I’m incapable of doing that.” she reached out and tucked a hair behind Lia’s ear, then affectionately stroked her cheek.

“So, we’re okay now?” Lia asked cautiously.

Then Monika slowly inched forward, her face getting closer to the older woman, and when their lips were centimeters apart, she smiled and said, “We are.”

And then she closed the distance and gave Lia a sweet, lingering kiss.

—————

Once the emotional high had died down, Monika suddenly realized that she hadn’t cleaned up the house, and the rooms were still a mess because she left in a haste that morning. It was totally unprepared for a visitor.

And it wasn’t even just any visitor. It was her high-profile, CEO girlfriend, who was stepping foot in her apartment for the very first time.

She found herself feeling a little antsy as Lia looked around her small home, worried that it wouldn’t be too impressive to someone who’s living in a goddamn mansion.

Lia picked up a picture frame with Monika and Hyowon in it, and it was a very old photo from their mid 20s.

“It was from a friend’s wedding.” Monika offered, stepping closer to Lia as she looked over her shoulders.

“You wore a cropped, see-through shirt to a wedding?” Lia exclaimed, and she seemed to be holding back a laugh.

Monika rolled her eyes, but she did laugh about it with Hyowon once, too. 

Young Monika really had questionable fashion choices.

“Yeah, I didn’t know what I was thinking either.” She admitted, finally letting out a laugh. 

“You still look good, though.” Lia snorted.

Monika pushed her lightly, “Ugh, put that back and stop teasing me.”

“What? I didn’t even say anything bad.” And Lia couldn’t seem to help it as she finally burst out laughing. Her giggly laugh was truly one of the best sounds Monika has ever heard.

But she saw how Lia zeroed in on the woman beside her in the picture, and she immediately sobered up. 

“Where is she, by the way?” Lia said, a little solemn. 

“Oh. She left.” Monika said, her own laughter dying down. Gloom filling her with that reminder.

Lia immediately turned to her, concern showing in her face, “What? When?”

“This morning. I woke up and she was gone. She left a note and told me not to look for her.” 

“I’m so sorry. Is this why you went to see me earlier?” Lia sounded so worried that Monika almost cried again. 

“Yeah. I was just at a loss on what to do.” She sighed, defeated, “I don’t know if I should go out and look for her, or to give her time and just let her come back when she’s ready. I didn’t like how we just ended things like that.” 

“Maybe give her a day or two? Then we should start looking for her if we don’t hear from her by then.” Lia suggested, and Monika’s heart soared at the implication that she’d help her with this.

“‘We’?” 

“Yes,” Lia just shrugged, “I’m not going to let you deal with this alone. I know how important she is to you.”

Monika couldn’t be luckier that she had an understanding, mature girlfriend. To tell the truth, she actually had an underlying fear that Lia would find this all too much and would find it suspicious that she cared about her best friend this much.

She was glad that Lia wasn’t like that, and that her first reaction to all of this was to help Monika in any way she can. 

So she hugged her girlfriend, expressing how thankful she was to her. 

It was like a huge load was taken off her chest. This problem was far from over, but at least Monika didn’t have to worry about going through all of this by herself. 

“Stay the night, please?” Monika asked as she pulled away from the hug, “I can lend you some spare clothes.” 

“Oh wow, my first sleepover at your house.” Lia smirked as she slowly put her hands on Monika’s shoulders, pulling her in again. Monika automatically rested her hands on her waist. “How exciting.” 

Was it just her, or did Lia’s voice suddenly become a little deeper?

She was probably just trying to distract her by teasing her and lightening up the subject, but it had an entirely different effect on Monika.

This shouldn’t really be turning her on right now, but Monika couldn’t help it. 

But alas, she’s too sad to act on it as of the moment, so she just landed a quick peck on her girlfriend’s lips, and smiled. 

“I’m not ready to sleep yet, though.”

“Oh? And what do you propose we should do?” Lia raised an eyebrow, and damn, it looked so sexy on her.

“I think… we should watch a movie.” Monika said, grinning at the slightly disappointed look on Lia’s face.

Lia’s sigh was exaggerated, “Fine.” then she disentangled herself from her, “Go pick something, I’ll wash up first.” 

“Yes, ma’am.”

That got her a roll of eyes in return.

And as Monika watched her go, she didn’t realize that she had a huge grin plastered on her face. She definitely felt a million times lighter compared to this morning. 

She didn’t know that this miserable day would still find a way to turn itself around, but she was glad that it did. 

—————

“Sorry, my bed is much smaller compared to yours.”  

They were now lying in bed, trying to find a comfortable position where both could fit. 

After tossing and turning, they finally ended up cuddling each other, Lia’s head was tucked in her arms and their legs intertwined. Monika had her arms wrapped around the small woman, hugging her close.

“It’s okay, I like sleeping like this with you anyway.” Lia said, yawning. 

Today had gone much better than what Lia expected. When Monika didn’t answer her calls and texts all day, it made her panic and thought of the worse. So when she got in her car, she didn’t think twice and put in the address that she’d always thought of visiting one day. 

She didn’t know that today would be that day.

Lia knew that there was a high chance that Monika would just tell her to leave her alone or to not let her in, but she didn’t care. All she wanted was to make sure that Monika was okay.

And when Lia finally saw her face to face, she felt a huge sense of relief.

It was also a good thing that Monika didn’t drive her away immediately.

She didn’t intend for them to talk and clear their issues out right away, because she really only planned to check in on Monika. Lia was glad that her girlfriend’s anger towards her easily melted away, giving her a chance to explain again.

And now that she’s safely confined in her girlfriend’s arms, she felt all the exhaustion from the whole day. She wanted to stay up and talk some more, but she could already feel her eyelids drooping. 

Lia heard Monika chuckling, and said, “Get some rest.” 

So Lia didn’t fight it anymore, and let herself succumb to sleep.

The next morning, she woke up to the wonderful aroma of a coffee brewing as she stretched, but noticed that she was alone.

She heard some noises outside the room though. It looked like Monika was already preparing breakfast for them, because she could smell and hear the sizzling sound of eggs cooking.

She got up feeling absolutely rested, and padded out the room and into the kitchen. Monika had her back to her so she didn’t notice Lia coming up behind her.

When she got closer, she saw that Monika was wearing a cute, frilly apron, and she was wearing her glasses usually reserved for home. She looked absolutely natural, and the look gave butterflies to Lia’s stomach. 

The fact that everything felt so domestic also didn’t fail to make her a little giddy.

Finally standing directly behind her, Lia couldn’t help it and gave her a back hug, and rested her chin on Monika’s shoulder. Her girlfriend flinched a bit when she made contact, but she instantly recovered and sank into her embrace.

“Good morning, my love.” Lia lazily let out and kissed Monika on the cheek.

And then she felt Monika froze, the hands that were busy cooking stilled its movements.

It took a moment for her sleep-addled brain to catch up, and she was about to ask what was wrong when she realized what she just said.

Lia’s eyes widened, and if she could only facepalm herself, she definitely would.

“Did you just call me ‘your love’?” Monika said when she finally recovered, and immediately turned off the stove. She faced Lia, turning around from her embrace. 

“Uh, no?” Lia lamely answered.

What the hell just happened? 

But Monika looked absolutely surprised, and hope seemed to be also shining in her eyes. She had a ghost of a smile on her lips, and she looked radiant and happy and Lia didn’t have the heart to take it all back. 

It didn’t make the feeling of wanting to kick herself go away any less though. Lia had spent a lot of effort trying to hold back from saying it out loud because she wanted to say it during a special moment, only for her to ruin it and say it like this.

Well, she guessed there’s no sense in hiding these feelings anymore. And she owed it to Monika to at least try and be more open with her.

“Lia…” Monika rolled her eyes, exasperated, but the smile remained on her face. 

Lia sighed, “Okay, okay! It just slipped. Sorry.”

Monika scrunched her brows, confused, “Why? That’s not something to apologize for.”

“No, of course not. It’s just… I wanted to say it at the perfect moment. Not like this. I haven’t even brushed my teeth yet.” Lia pouted, letting out the disappointment she’d been feeling.

Monika chuckled and looked at her like she was the craziest person she had ever seen, “You mean you’ve always wanted to say it back, but you wanted it to be a huge gesture? God, you’re such a perfectionist.” she shook her head at Lia, but it was full of affection.

“You deserve nothing less.” Lia sulked. She really did want to do it during a romantic moment.

But Monika just took her face into her hands, cradling it and looked her in the eyes. “Every moment with you is the perfect moment. You don’t have to be so calculating all the time. Even if you say it in your sleep, it won’t make me happy any less.” Her voice was gentle and so reassuring that Lia felt a whole lot better about the whole thing.

This woman always knew the right thing to say.

She sighed, conceding, “Okay.” 

Then after a few seconds, “Say it again.” Monika said. The look that she was giving Lia was so sentimental, and her voice was soft.

Lia was captivated. 

And maybe it was anticlimactic and it wasn’t how she envisioned saying it, but Lia didn’t care anymore. Not when Monika was looking at her like she just offered her the world.

“My love.” she said in a whisper, careful not to ruin the moment. They were looking at each other, both getting lost in those dark pools of their eyes.

“Yes?” Monika replied, a grin growing on her face.

“I…” Lia saw how Monika seemed to be eagerly waiting for her to continue, anticipation reflecting in her features.

She resumed, “I’m hungry.” 

And as expected, a disappointed groan came out of Monika.

Lia couldn’t help it. She felt too vulnerable at the moment, and she guessed old habits die hard so she backtracked and went to her usual tactics.

Masking her feelings with humor.

But Lia felt a little bad, so she pulled Monika closer and kissed her soundly on the lips, swallowing the pout that the woman was giving her.

When they broke apart, the younger woman grumbled, “You’re cruel.”

Lia smirked, “You love me anyway.”

“Unfortunately.” Monika deadpanned.

She gasped, “What?!” she hit Monika in the arm lightly.

“I’m kidding, I’m kidding!” the woman finally laughed, holding up a hand to defend herself from Lia’s attacks.

“You better be.” and tapped her one last time for good measure. 

Then Monika instantly turned serious, the teasing smile all but gone, “I love you, Lia Kim. I’m honored that I get to love you. And I’m even more honored that you love me back.” Lia noticed that she added the last sentence with a bit of hesitation.

And Lia knew that she had to say those words back. She needed to let those reservations go again, and finally give Monika the words that she deserved to know. 

Words that she’d wanted to say since twelve years ago.

“I love you, too.” 

Chapter Text

“Sorry, it’s a little cramped in here.”

Monika pulled out a chair, guiding Lia to sit on it. They were at Monika’s studio, hoping to catch up on some work that she and Hyowon had neglected since their fight. 

It was a Sunday, so the academy wasn’t that busy. There were only a few classes that evening. 

Lia accompanied her, saying she’d help or be there with her in case she didn’t want to be alone. Monika didn’t need the help since she usually does well by herself, but her girlfriend tagging along with her wasn’t a bad idea either.

“It’s not that bad. It’s actually pretty cozy.”

“Yeah, that’s what they usually say when they find the room too small for them,” Monika smirked. Lia slid her chair closer to her, almost sharing the desk with her, their shoulders touching. She raised an eyebrow teasingly, “There’s a spare desk over there.”

Lia shrugged, “I want to see what you’re working on.”

Monika shook her head affectionately, squinting at the woman, “I’m not sure I should show you. You’re basically a competing studio.” 

The older woman gasped as though offended, but mirth shone in her eyes, “Oh no, my plans had been foiled.” Lia deadpanned.

“I get it. My popularity has been rising, so I understand you want to keep me in check.” Monika quipped, her tone smug.

“I do hate it when my position is being challenged,” Lia said, playing along. 

“Don’t worry, I still think you’re the best.” Monika finally relented and quickly pecked Lia on the cheek.

The woman just smiled at her sweetly, but not before rolling her eyes.

“And you’re the best at flattering your woman.”

“Is that the only thing I'm the best at?” Monika’s voice dropped an octave while batting her eyelashes at Lia.

“You’re also the best at fishing for compliments.” Lia teased.

Monika pouted and gave Lia her best puppy dog eyes. She could be quite good at acting cute, too.

But her girlfriend just laughed at her, probably surprised that she could behave like that. It was a nice laugh, though, and when she stopped, she looked at Monika lovingly, “You’re ridiculous.” Lia pinched her cheek, “It’s a good thing I love you.”

It was said in the softest tone, and Monika could hear a hint of shyness in it. Like she was still trying to get used to saying it out loud. 

But it didn’t fail to make her heart swell any less.

She leaned in and captured Lia’s lips, “I love you, too.” Monika replied, smiling brightly.

Alas, all good things must come to an end. 

Monika’s phone suddenly rang, and she saw that Aiki was calling her. The light feeling from earlier turned into something akin to anxiety when she realized the only reason that the dancer was calling her right now. 

Hyowon.

She could feel Lia looking at her in concern, probably sensing the change in her demeanor.

“Wait, sorry, I need to take this.” when Lia nodded, she immediately accepted the call.

Then it’s as if her whole body tensed when Aiki’s distressed and panicked voice filled her ear. She told her about being in the hospital and bringing Hyowon to the emergency room. 

When she heard those words, Monika instantly stood up, her mind focused on one thing: She needed to go there right now. 

If this were somehow her fault, Monika wouldn’t be able to forgive herself.

Once she got all the details from Aiki, she hastily gathered her bag and things. She was so fixated on getting there as quickly as possible that she almost forgot Lia was looking at her, confused.

She only looked at her when the woman finally spoke.

“Hey, calm down. What happened? Where are you going?” Lia said, her gaze full of worry.

“Shit. Sorry.” Monika said distractedly, “Hyowon’s in the hospital. I need to go right now. I’m really sorry, I know we’re supposed to spend time together today, but–” 

“Monika, it’s okay. And I’ll go with you. I’ll drive you there.” Monika almost relaxed at the calming voice of her girlfriend. 

But she couldn’t. Not when her best friend’s life is potentially in danger.

She was thankful for the solace and support her girlfriend brought, however. 

“Are you sure? I can go alone.”

“Of course, I’m sure. Now let’s go.” Lia’s tone was unwavering, so Monika didn’t think to argue anymore.

After they got in the car and Lia started the drive to the hospital, Monika couldn’t resist stressing about what happened with Hyowon. She felt restless, her hands were fidgeting, and she even felt like crying.

Lia must’ve noticed all that because the woman reached out and took her hand, glanced at her for a second, and gave her an encouraging smile. She intertwined her free hand with hers and squeezed. It made her breathe a bit, releasing all the tension quickly building up.

“It’s going to be okay.” 

And Monika sure hoped that Lia was right.

They finally arrived at the hospital, and Monika immediately saw Aiki standing by the emergency room doors, seemingly waiting for her.

Monika went to her, her gait was swift, and her expression turned thunderous. 

She stopped in front of the dancer. When Aiki finally noticed her, relief and guilt filled the red-haired woman’s face. 

“Coach, thank God–”

“What the hell happened?” Monika tried to control her voice, but the anger in her voice easily seeped through as she gritted her teeth.

That’s when Lia held her arm as though calming her down. She sighed and backed down a bit. She knew it wasn’t Aiki’s fault, and she should be thankful that she was the one who took Hyowon in. But her temper took the best of her, and she tried to blame someone who was probably innocent.

She could only blame herself for all of this.

“I… I’m sorry… I knew I shouldn’t have left her alone.” Aiki said. The once comical dancer was gone, and all that was left was a whimpering, distraught woman. 

Monika exhaled and spoke in a much softer tone, “Tell me what happened.”

“After you guys fought, she asked to stay at my house. I don’t know the exact details of why she was there because she had been unresponsive and in a daze ever since she got there. When I had to step out for some errands, I… I came back, and she was passed out on the floor.” the woman took a shaky breath and continued, “She went through all of my liquor, and the empty bottles were scattered on the ground. I thought she just blacked out from drinking all of that, so I tried waking her up… but she didn’t. When I realized that something bad might have happened because she wasn’t waking up and she was looking a little pale, I immediately called 911.” 

Monika wasn’t surprised by what happened. What she only felt at that moment was extreme loathing.

She was loathing herself for not finding Hyowon as soon as she left. 

If only she had tried hard enough, she could’ve prevented this.

“The doctor said that it was alcohol poisoning. They already did the necessary treatments so that her body could recover. But she’s not waking up yet.” Aiki looked like she was about to cry again, choking up on the last sentence. Monika knew all too well what the dancer was feeling right now. She also blamed herself for what had happened.

Maybe it was because she could see the younger woman’s genuine concern on her face that Monika finally let go of that anger and reassured the woman.

“Hey, it’s okay. I know you think that this is your fault, but believe me, it’s not. You actually saved her life. Who knew what could’ve happened if you didn’t know how to call for help immediately?” Monika soothed.

Then she felt Lia’s hand on her arm squeezing her, as though giving her the same comfort that Monika gave Aiki.

She turned to her girlfriend and smiled at her, grateful.

“I want to see her.” Monika gave her attention to Aiki again. The red-haired woman nodded and led the way inside.

She followed, but her legs felt weak. A mix of trepidation and distress filled her, and when she could finally see Hyowon from afar, her steps almost wobbled.

When she got closer, she almost wept at the poor, practically lifeless state of her best friend. Multiple tubes were attached to her, including an oxygen mask. 

“The doctor said that her blood alcohol test came out too high. This is why she isn’t conscious yet. Thankfully, it isn’t fatal, but the doctor said that if she drank one more bottle, it could’ve been really dangerous.” Aiki sniffed. She was probably crying now, but Monika didn’t have it in her to comfort the woman. She was too stunned to say anything as she took all the information in. 

Lia probably noticed that because she took the initiative to respond on her behalf.

“Did the doctor say anything about when she’ll possibly wake up?”

“No. Right now, they’re trying to get all the toxins out of her body and injecting her with all the fluids that she lost.” Aiki relayed.

Monika couldn’t focus on anything that was being said. Not when she’s looking at her best friend’s form lying on the hospital bed, something she hadn’t seen before in her life. 

In just a few weeks, Hyowon became something that Monika had never encountered before. Her friend, who was like a huge ball of sunshine, suddenly became this bitter, sad person. 

And Monika couldn’t help but feel that it was because of her.

After a few minutes of staring at her unconscious friend, Monika finally spoke, “You should go, Aiki. I’ll take it from here.” Her voice was gentle but devoid of emotion.

Monika was turned away from them, so she didn’t see the dancer’s reaction, but she guessed that she was about to object. So she added immediately, “You’ve done enough. I’ll call you as soon as we can move her to a private room.” Then she turned to her, a small smile on her face, “Get some rest.” 

Aiki looked skeptical, as though she was still about to object, but after a few seconds, she finally nodded, conceding. 

“Okay. Please update me as soon as she wakes up.” 

“Of course,” Monika reassured.

Then, after saying goodbye to her and Lia and giving a last glance at Hyowon, she finally left.

“Hey, are you okay?” Lia asked, and Monika felt her comforting hand squeezing her shoulder. Perhaps it was the soothing voice of the woman or the fact that they were finally alone that made everything seem to finally sink in, making a stray tear leave Monika’s right eye.

She nodded silently and wiped the tear that fell on her face. No, she needed to be strong for Hyowon. She thought she wouldn’t be useful if she turned into an emotional mess.

“You don’t have to stay here,” Monika said. Deep down, she knew this would be much easier if Lia were by her side. But she didn’t want to obligate her girlfriend to be here just in case this situation made her uncomfortable.

“Do you want me to go?” Monika saw in her peripheral vision how Lia stepped forward and turned her head to her, trying to get her attention. 

She met her eyes then and saw her girlfriend was looking at her with concern. Her one eyebrow was raised as she waited for Monika to answer.

Monika sighed, “Actually, no. I need you here.” she said truthfully, her voice soft, as though ashamed for admitting how needy she was.

“Then I’ll be here for as long as you need me.” 

And Monika couldn’t be more grateful to her. 

The next day came, and Hyowon was still unconscious. An hour after Monika and Lia got there, the doctor told them that her friend would be transferred to the ICU since she wasn’t waking up yet. 

And now Monika found herself alone in the hospital’s waiting room. 

Lia was able to stay with her all night, but she had to go this morning because of an important schedule. Lia didn’t want to go, and she even thought of canceling it if only Monika weren’t insistent that she didn’t have to stop doing her job just to stay with her. After thirty minutes of arguing, Lia finally relented. 

Monika almost regretted making her girlfriend go because now that she’s all by herself, there’s no one to distract her from her spiraling thoughts. 

What if Hyowon’s condition got worse? What if it took too long for her to wake up? What if she never woke up? 

As she had all these questions bouncing around in her head, her chest started feeling tight, and she was breathing really fast. Monika realized that she needed to get a grip on her emotions quickly, or she might have an anxiety attack.

She tried to ground herself and closed her eyes, took deep breaths until she could feel her heartbeat coming back to normal. 

It felt like an eternity until she calmed herself down. When she opened her eyes, she saw Aiki approaching. Quickly composing herself, she hoped Aiki wouldn’t suspect anything out of the norm. The last thing she wanted was to be pitied, especially when she was trying to appear strong for Hyowon.

“Hey, you okay? You look tense.”

Monika gave her a smile that was so fake that she almost believed it herself. 

“I’m fine.”

Aiki nodded, but her expression seemed to indicate that she knew Monika was anything but. Well, her best friend is currently in the ICU, unconscious. It didn’t take an expert to know that.

But Monika would sooner die than reveal her true feelings to a stranger or, even worse, confide in them.

It’s better to lie for both of their sakes.

“She still the same?” Aiki thankfully changed the subject. 

“Yeah, nothing changed after I updated you this morning.”

On the bright side, Hyowon’s vitals were exponentially getting better, so they should expect her to wake up sooner rather than later. It should have cheered Monika up, but she still couldn’t stop the negative thoughts from manifesting, especially when her friend was still not waking up.

Aiki sighed and took a seat next to her. They sat there silently for a few minutes, both staring at the wall in front of them, lost in their own thoughts.

Until Aiki broke the silence.

“I need to tell you something.”

Oh God, what now?

Monika turned to her, and she saw that the red-haired woman actually looked serious. Like, really, really serious. 

“What is it?” 

Aiki let out a deep breath, as though what she was about to say was so big that she had to prepare herself. Monika thought she should also brace herself for what was about to come.

Because whatever's about to come out of Aiki's mouth would surely be anything but good.

“You need to keep an eye out for Hyowon,” Aiki said.

Monika was taken aback, “Excuse me?”

“I'm really worried about her. If we're not careful, she might do something that she'd really regret.”

Monika was still confused, “What the hell are you talking about?”

Aiki looked like she was about to be sick, and she appeared to be hesitating her next words. She looked at Monika then, and the look she gave her was an apologetic one. 

“Remember that photo of you in that club all those years ago?” Aiki finally uttered.

It took only a second for Monika to understand what the dancer was talking about. How could she not? It was one of the reasons her life fell apart, and it has continued to haunt her until now. At the mention of that particular incident, chills went through Monika’s body. She was rendered speechless, and rage and confusion filled her entire senses. 

“How did you know about that?” Monika almost growled.

She felt a little satisfaction as she saw the subtle fear in Aiki's eyes. Good. If the dancer were somehow involved with it, Monika would gladly intimidate the hell out of her.

“Please hear me out first.” Aiki requested, probably because she could already see the fury in Monika’s eyes.

“Just answer my question,” Monika said, impatient. She didn’t have time to dilly-dally with the woman. Not with something as important as this.

“Hyowon was behind it.” Aiki finally said. 

“Bullshit. She was at the competition that night.” And why would Hyowon do that to her? She had been nothing but a great friend to her even before. 

It’s impossible. It’s even insane to think about. 

What was Aiki going on about?

“I didn’t say that she was the one who personally took the photo.” Aiki hesitated, then sighed as though making up her mind, “I did. I’m the one who took the photo.”

What?

Millions of questions went through Monika’s mind at that revelation. Why did she do that? What does Hyowon have to do with it? And why did this woman act like she was Monika’s friend when she did something horrible to her? 

And why was she telling Monika this right now?

She didn’t even know what to say. She was too consumed with anger, confusion, and betrayal that she was at a loss for words.

“You better have a good explanation for this, or else I wouldn’t be able to control myself. You might end up in one of these hospital beds.” Monika snarled, her voice low. 

Aiki seemed scared for her life, and Monika couldn’t even feel satisfied like she did earlier. She needed answers, and she needed it now.

The dancer bowed her head, shame covering her features, “You have every right to be angry, and nothing I could say right now would make this all better. But I was young and petty back then. Did you know that I used to be in a group and went to competitions before?” 

Monika shook her head, her brow still furrowed in anger. Where was she going with this?

“Yeah, because my group disbanded right around the time you guys were winning every single competition you were in. And you’d beat our group every single time. So naturally, I got jealous and blamed you and your group for leading my crew to failure.” Aiki explained, her face showing both regret and displeasure at the memory. “You know how it was back then. If you weren’t the best, it would be hard to get recognition. We won’t survive in this industry if we’re not number one.”

Monika knew all that. Even early in her career, she remembered how it was filled with desperation. She remembered sleepless nights, her days dedicated to practicing, and her life almost revolved around dancing. 

But she never considered sabotaging another colleague just to get ahead of them.

“So, what, you tried to ruin my life because you wanted…revenge?” Monika said, sneering.

“It wasn’t initially my idea, though. Yeah, I was the one who took the photo and sent it to Lia. But I did all that because Hyowon told me to.”

“Why would Hyowon do this? If she really was the one behind all this, that would mean that she sabotaged her own crew as well.” Not to mention that Hyowon, her own best friend, lied to her. 

Is Hyowon really capable of such heinous, manipulative actions? The person she had been friends with for more than a decade, the person she had lived with and trusted her life with? Her mind was reeling at the possibility that she had been betrayed like this by one of the most important people in her life.

“I wondered about that too when she first came to me and told me her plan. But since it was a golden opportunity for me back then, I didn’t try and question it. I just recently found out why she really did it when we met again because of the show.” Aiki continued when Monika didn’t give her a response, “She wanted to ruin your relationship with Lia because she was jealous of her. She wanted to get rid of anyone who could possibly ruin her chances of being with you.”

As Monika said before, this is fucking insane.

“I don’t believe you. Hyowon could never do that to me.” Monika said in her friend’s defense. She knew that Hyowon was in love with her, but saying that she was willing to hurt Monika just because, what, she wanted her all to herself? It’s psychotic.

“I know it’s really hard to believe what I’m saying, but it’s the truth.” Aiki sighed, then reluctantly took out her phone. Wait, no, it was actually Hyowon’s phone.

Monika could feel her anger rising even more, “Why do you have that?”

“To show you some proof.” Then after a few seconds, Aiki was showing her something from Hyowon’s phone.

It looked to be an e-mail, which was apparently sent by Hyowon. As her eyes took the message in and what it contained, her jaw dropped in shock at what she saw.

It was that e-mail with the photo of her from that night all those years ago. 

And the e-mail address that it was sent to was Gabee, the producer of the show she was currently in.

The message that almost got her fired.

She took the phone and checked if it was real and not just an edited picture or a fake one that Aiki had created to fit her narrative.

Monika saw that it was a dummy account and not the one Hyowon mainly uses. What if Aiki just logged into it and tried to make her think that it was Hyowon?

And as if Aiki read her mind, she spoke again, “You could actually see the exact date of when she had logged into this account.” She took the phone from Monika, and made her see that it really was logged into it months ago. And it was also the exact same date when that particular message was created and sent to her boss.

Oh my God.

“She actually asked me to do this for her. But I told her that that wasn’t my life and my problem anymore. I guess she just went and did it herself after I said no.” Aiki explained further.

Monika was still having a hard time processing everything that was being revealed to her. She didn’t know what to believe anymore.

“I suppose you posting that photo of us kissing wasn’t an accident either?” Monika sighed.

Aiki just looked at her with eyes full of regret and nodded quietly.

“What’s your point? Why are you telling me all of this?” Monika asked, exasperated. She was exhausted from trying to take all of this information in.

“My point is… I’m worried Hyowon might try to do something even more… extreme. Yeah, she could be a little manipulative and all, but underneath all that, she actually grew to be a dear friend to me—someone I care about. And I know that deep down, despite Hyowon lying to you, you’d still forgive her and would still try to give her a chance. I don’t know… maybe she’s just someone who needs therapy.”

Honestly? That part about Monika easily forgiving Hyowon if all of this was true? It was spot on.

Hyowon was someone who had helped Monika and had been there for her through all of her struggles. She was not only a friend to her, but Monika also saw her as her family. While it disappointed her deeply to know that Hyowon could do something that was so fucked up, Monika still couldn’t bring herself to hate her. 

If Aiki was telling the truth, then what her friend did was extremely wrong. She knew she needed to confront her about this, but not now.

Not with Hyowon’s current circumstance.

Her own feelings about the matter would need to take a backseat because she needed to focus on helping her friend get better.

“And as a friend, I could see that what she feels for you isn’t love. She might think it’s love, but love isn’t like that. It isn’t selfish.” Aiki said, chuckling sadly. “I hate to say this, but it’s just an obsession.” 

Despite all the evidence that had been handed to her, something still felt off about this. It wasn’t like the Hyowon that Monika knew. Maybe she shouldn’t be quick to believe this woman, who was basically a stranger to her, over her own best friend.

“And blind obsession could be a dangerous thing.” Aiki continued grimly. “Just look at where she is right now. And it’s all because she’s broken because you chose someone else over her.”

Monika sighed. Aiki still made a valid point, and what she was saying could actually be true. 

Also, she felt like there was something that was left unsaid. Something is implied by the way Aiki brought all of this up.

“What do you propose we should do?” Monika finally asked.

“Not us. Just you.” Aiki looked at her knowingly. And I think you know what you should do to save Hyowon’s life.” 

It was a thought that niggled at the back of her head, but it was so absurd that she didn’t even try to make it into an idea fully.

“If you’re telling me what I think you’re telling me, then there’s no chance in hell.” Monika snapped.

There has to be another way.

“It’s just temporary. Just until she gets stable. Or until we’re sure that she won't try anything else.” Aiki tried to reason with her.

“You want me to temporarily break up with Lia just to appease Hyowon? Do you know how insane that sounds?” Monika laughed sarcastically. Hurting the love of her life was not an option. It would never be an option.

Not when Monika had promised she wouldn’t do something like that to Lia again.

“You’re not appeasing her. You’re going to prevent her from doing anything drastic to her life.” Aiki said, gritting her teeth. She seemed to be getting a little… annoyed? 

If Monika was being honest, Aiki was actually making a valid and reasonable suggestion. The only reason why Hyowon started acting like that was when Monika told her that she was finally in a relationship with Lia. She knew that the only reason Hyowon would get better was for Monika to choose her. 

This new revelation only solidified the notion that the thing that made her friend the happiest was her.

But if, and it’s a big fucking “if” Monika went through with this, that would mean sacrificing her own happiness and breaking the heart of the woman she loved the most. A broken heart in exchange for saving a life. 

Fuck. 

“I have to think about this. What you’re asking of me is just simply deranged.” 

Aiki was about to reply when a nurse suddenly emerged from Hyowon’s room (when did she get there?), looking elated. Monika watched as the nurse immediately walked over to them.

“I just notified the doctor. The patient is finally awake.”

Monika wanted to laugh at how perfect the timing was. It was as if Hyowon sensed that she was being talked about, so she finally woke up before anything more was revealed.

A few minutes later, she and Aiki found themselves finally inside Hyowon’s room. The woman was propped up and awake, and a doctor was checking on her. 

When she went inside, Hyowon’s eyes immediately met hers, and her gaze was almost one of guilt. Monika immediately softened, so she put everything Aiki told her a while ago in the back of her mind and sent Hyowon a small reassuring smile.

She was glad that Hyowon returned the smile, however reluctant it was initially. It was the first time they’d seen each other since their huge fight, so she felt relieved that Hyowon seemed to be feeling well enough to act nice around Monika. 

Monika thought her future interactions with her would be like pulling teeth again.

Well, it was still too early to make that conclusion. She hasn’t even talked to the woman yet.

After the doctor had finished with Hyowon, he turned towards them and asked, “I need to talk to her guardian.” Then he looked at both of them, his eyes questioning. 

Monika immediately cleared her throat and nodded, “It’s me. What do you need, doc?” 

The doctor inclined his head to the side, “Let’s talk outside so we don’t disturb our patient.” he gave her a gentle smile, but Monika knew that what they’d be talking about would be far from pleasant.

Before Monika followed the doctor out, she turned her body to Hyowon, “I’m really glad you’re okay.” she said, her tone soft and full of relief.

“Me too,” Hyowon replied, her voice still a little hoarse from a few days of not using them.

Then Monika nodded, “I’ll be back.” and finally went outside, closing the door behind her.

“I called you here because the patient had been a little tight-lipped about this matter.” The doctor didn’t waste any time speaking, “By any chance, would you know the reason why Miss Hyowon resorted to drinking herself to a stupor?”

Oh, Monika definitely knew.

“Yeah, I think so,” she said in the affirmative, and that was probably enough for the doctor to stop questioning her any further.

“Okay, good, because knowing the root of the problem would make her recovery a lot easier. I would need you to avoid bringing up anything that might trigger this, at least in the meantime until we could get her back on her feet. Then when you’re sure that she could handle facing it without her turning to unhealthy coping habits, slowly ease her into it.” The doctor said, and his voice was still gentle. It was probably meant to soothe her.

But it was doing the exact opposite effect on Monika. Because she knew what she had to do in order for Hyowon to get better. And it was also something that Aiki suggested she do earlier.

It’s as if the universe was conspiring against her own happiness. 

Monika continued to listen, “She would need a lot of support at this time. And as her guardian, I must ask you to be more attentive to her.”

She already planned on doing that, even if no one told her anyway. Hyowon would be in her care whether her friend liked it or not, and Monika wouldn’t make the same mistake of letting her leave on her own again.

After the doctor gave out a few more advice and told Monika that they’d be transferring Hyowon to a regular room where she could recuperate more and eventually get discharged. 

A few minutes later, Monika stood outside Hyowon’s door alone, the doctor already gone. She stood there as she chewed on her thumbnail, her mind stressing and trying to keep up with everything that had just happened—from Aiki’s confession to Hyowon finally waking up and the looming decision she knew she had to make if she wanted to help her best friend get better.

Monika exhaled and tried to stop herself from worrying too much. She didn’t have to decide at this very moment, right? 

And so she tried to set those thoughts away from now, remembering the good news from today. Hyowon was finally awake.

With that in mind, she put on a small smile and opened the door.

Monika was sitting on the sofa in Hyowon’s hospital room when her phone suddenly rang. Her friend was transferred shortly after she woke up, and the doctor gave her the clear. She was now in a small regular hospital room, trying to stabilize and give Hyowon more time to regain her strength.

After Monika’s talk with the doctor, she went inside to properly tell Hyowon how happy she was that she was okay. She tried to hold herself back from telling Hyowon that she was disappointed with her for getting herself to that point, but that would mean that they’d be unpacking the reason why Hyowon did that in the first place. It would get ugly pretty fast if Monika brought it up. And it would also be going against what the doctor just advised her to do. 

So they talked while avoiding the huge elephant in the room. Monika focused on asking how Hyowon was feeling and if she was hungry or comfortable. Not one mention about the reason why she ended up in the hospital. Even Aiki looked at her weirdly, but she could see the slight relief in the dancer’s eyes. She was probably worried that she’d suddenly blurt out what Aiki just told her a while ago.

Monika wasn’t stupid.

It was already 6 in the evening, and Aiki had been long gone, leaving Monika alone with Hyowon. Thankfully, her interactions with her friend ever since she woke up had been pleasant, so it wasn’t that awkward to be in a room alone with her. 

But as Monika looked at the caller ID on her phone, she feared that that might change if she tried to answer it in Hyowon’s presence.

So quickly standing up, she excused herself and told Hyowon that she’d be back without waiting for a response. Once outside, she finally answered the phone.

She hadn’t heard from her girlfriend all day since she was busy working on everything she had missed while accompanying Monika. Monika was fine with it since she was equally as occupied, but she still missed the woman nonetheless.

When she heard the deep, velvety voice of the woman on the other side of the phone, it was like a breather for Monika. It was as though her worries melted away, even for just a second.

“Hey.” Monika said in a gentle tone, smiling.

“Hey, you.” She heard Lia chuckle from the other line, then sighed, and Monika could hear how exhausted she was, “I’m sorry for not being there. I got caught up with work, and I couldn’t get away. How are you? How’s Hyowon?” 

Then, the remembrance of why she was stressing out in the first place suddenly hit her, and the smile was immediately wiped from her face.

“It’s fine, I’d feel more at ease if you didn’t stop whatever you have to do.” Then Monika took a breath, preparing for her next words, “Hyowon also finally woke up. Sorry, I forgot to text you about it earlier. It just got so hectic after that. We’ve also been transferred to a regular hospital room.” Monika thought about why exactly she couldn’t tell Lia right away. What Aiki and the doctor advised her earlier to do weighed heavily in her mind that she forgot to let her girlfriend know about the news about Hyowon.

“She woke up? That’s great news. But why do you sound so down?” 

Was she that obvious? 

“No, no.” Monika tried to chuckle, putting a little joy in her tone, and hoped Lia wouldn’t ask any further, “I’m just tired.”

“Oh, don’t worry, I’m actually headed there right now. You can rest while I look after Hyowon.” 

Usually, it would thrill Monika whenever she’d get a chance to see Lia, and it would actually be nice if her girlfriend was there, but no, not right now. Letting Hyowon meet Lia in her current state would definitely be a very bad idea. 

Following the doctor’s advice means Monika has to avoid bringing up Lia and their relationship. She's done it before, so it shouldn't be too hard to do it again, right?

This has to work because she didn’t want to consider the drastic alternative of having to choose between the two of them.

She cleared her throat, preparing to say something that might disappoint Lia. 

She really hated doing this.

“Oh, uh, you don’t have to! I know you’re already tired from a whole day of work. You should go home and rest. I’m okay here.” Monika said, trying to sound like her insides weren’t churning.

“I’m fine. Besides, I'm already on the way.” Lia replied. 

Oh no.

“Lia, it’s okay. You really don’t have to be here.” Monika reassured her, hoping Lia would finally listen.

“Stop being stubborn, I’m going.” Lia sounded like she was already getting annoyed. Monika internally sighed. She didn’t want to upset her.

But if she didn’t want to put Hyowon’s fragile state at risk, she’d have to do whatever it takes, even doing the horrible task of upsetting the woman. 

“You’re the stubborn one. I told you I’m fine.” Monika said, finality in her words. She cringed, not really loving where this conversation was going.

Something seemed to click as Lia paused for a whole five seconds, and even Monika was afraid that she did anger the woman. 

Then, a cold, deep voice finally reached her ears, chilling Monika to the bone.

“Why does it seem like you don’t want me there?” Lia asked, her tone devoid of emotion.

“Of course not! I want you here, believe me. But…” Fuck it. Monika would have to tell her what the doctor said to her if she wanted to prevent her girlfriend from getting the wrong idea. She just hoped that she would understand.

“But?” Lia said, impatient.

“The doctor told me to avoid bringing up anything that might trigger her. Just until she gets better. And you know why she was here in the first place, right?”

“Yes, because she couldn’t accept the fact that you’re with someone else.” Lia snidely remarked. 

Monika suspected that it was something she had been trying to hold back from saying ever since Hyowon was admitted, judging by the way she said it.

Lia was right, and Monika couldn’t really be mad about it. It didn’t make her any less sad that Lia seemed to be getting mad at the situation, even though she had every right to be. 

“I’m sorry. It’s just a really, really complicated situation.” Monika said, weariness seeping through her tone.

Maybe because of that, Lia seemed to soften up a bit, as she heard her girlfriend sigh on the end of the phone and say, “It’s fine. I know you’re just doing the best you can for your friend.” Monika heard how defeated Lia sounded, and she couldn’t help feeling bad: “Okay, I won’t go there anymore.”

“I’m really sorry. And thank you for understanding.” Monika smiled sadly, “I’ll make it up to you, I promise.”

Lia chuckled softly, “I would expect nothing less, Miss Shin.” she said teasingly.

Monika laughed and quietly exhaled. She was relieved that the conversation still went well.

“I miss you.” she finally said quietly after her laughter died down.

It took a second before Lia replied as if contemplating if she’d let Monika off the hook. But when the other woman spoke, it brought a gleeful smile to Monika’s face.

“I miss you, too, my love.” 

It took only a day for Hyowon to be finally discharged from the hospital, and they were only left with some strict reminders from the doctor on what to do and not to do to ensure Hyowon’s full recovery. The doctor especially gave Monika a knowing look, possibly referring to their earlier conversation when Hyowon first woke up. Monika only responded with a tight smile and a nod.

There was also a bit of an issue when Monika flat-out said that Hyowon would go back to their house so she could take better care of her. While their interactions in the hospital were okay, and they hadn’t fought one bit, it was also a little stiff and uncomfortable. Monika already expected it, and while she was itching to bring up the topic of why she got herself in the hospital, she knew that getting her friend better was the priority. 

So, she held back and avoided any topics that could stress Hyowon out.

But what she wouldn’t do was to let Hyowon not go back with Monika. There’s no way in hell that Monika would let Hyowon out of her sight, especially in her current state. Hyowon was her responsibility, and she’d do everything just to make sure that her friend was safe. Regardless of everything that had happened or things that she had just recently found out, Hyowon was still her best friend… the woman she’d been living with for years. Monika even considered her more important than some of her family members. 

They argued about it, but Monika, being Monika, was resolute. Once her mind was set on something, it would be really difficult to persuade her otherwise. So, with a petulant sigh, Hyowon relented and agreed. She was glad that Aiki wasn’t there that time, so she had no other excuse not to go with Monika.

And now, as Monika sat in their dining room and looked at her friend’s closed bedroom door, it felt like she could finally breathe, even for just a little bit. 

She could pretend that it was just any other normal day, with no complications or feelings involved, and that they were just spending the day in their house lazing around.

Unfortunately, their relationship is anything but peaceful right now. She was sitting there looking at her friend’s bedroom door because she was waiting for her to turn her lights off. 

Waiting for Hyowon to fall asleep. 

She was waiting so she could go out and have dinner with Lia at her house tonight. She was actually late for this because it was an hour’s drive, and she only had thirty minutes left to spare until their agreed-upon time.

Monika knew she could just make up some excuse about why she was going out, but Hyowon wasn’t dumb. The only reason she’d go out this late was to meet up with Lia and Hyowon knew that.

It took almost forever, but when the lights flicked off in her friend’s bedroom, she waited for a few minutes until she was sure that she could leave without Hyowon knowing. It did feel completely ridiculous, like she was still a teenager living at her parents’ house, sneaking around. 

But Monika reminded herself that this was only temporary, and she was doing it so Hyowon could get better.

She was able to grab a cab as soon as she was outside, and an hour later, she finally found herself on Lia’s doorstep after letting herself inside through the front gate. 

The door opened to the slightly exasperated face of the woman, her one eyebrow raised. She was wearing simple lounge clothes, but her top was lacy and had thin sleeves, and Monika thought how sexy she looked right then.

(Also, the fact that Lia kinda looked a little angry made her look even hotter to Monika.)

She didn’t know that this stress could also lead to her being unbelievably horny. Her mind was probably latching on to the first emotion she could fixate on to somehow forget about everything that had been happening lately.

Or perhaps Lia just had that effect on her.

Monika gave her what she hoped was a charming smile, “I know. I’m so sorry I’m late.” Then she handed Lia the bouquet of roses she was able to buy on the way and widened her smile.

There was a split second where Lia’s mouth curved upwards into presumably a pleased smile, but it was gone before Monika could fully see it. But the annoyed expression was gone, and she could see how her girlfriend was still trying to keep her lips from curving upwards.

Lia took it and subtly smelled it, her face looking haughty. “What is this? A bribe?” 

“Am I not allowed to give my beautiful girlfriend some flowers?” Monika blinked at her innocently, amping up her charm. It seemed to be working because Lia rolled her eyes and finally chuckled. 

“You’re lucky you’re cute.” Monika heard Lia grumble under her breath. She probably didn’t mean for Monika to hear it, but she did. And Monika couldn’t help but look positively proud.

“Aren’t you going to invite your cute girlfriend inside?” Monika asked cheekily.

“Did I say cute? I meant annoying. You’re annoying.” Lia huffed but opened the door wider and waited until Monika could step inside before she closed it.

Once inside, Monika breathed in the familiar scent of her house, which overwhelmingly smelled like Lia. It was comforting and calming, and Monika’s worries immediately fell away.

As Lia passed her, she heard the woman say, “Sit. I’ll just reheat our food.” 

But Monika didn’t care about dinner or eating. She just wanted Lia and the comfort that only she could give her. So before Lia could make it far, Monika quickly grabbed her hand and turned her around, engulfing her in a tight hug. 

Lia seemed to notice right away what Monika needed because it only took a second before she recovered and immediately put her arms around her. Monika couldn’t help but melt into the embrace as she felt Lia’s hand on the back of her head.

No other words were spoken, and they stayed like that for almost five minutes. It was as if Monika’s world paused for a moment, and no other thoughts went through her mind and focused on the feeling of being encased in the arms of the woman she loved.

How could she let this go? She couldn’t believe that Aiki got to her head and ever thought of parting with the woman. She’d rather die than break up with her.

“Sorry, you’re probably already hungry.” Monika said as she reluctantly disentangled herself from Lia. They weren’t hugging anymore, but they stayed closed as Monika put her hands on the older’s hips, and the latter’s hands rested on her shoulders.

“It’s fine,” Lia said softly, looking at her with concerned eyes. Do you want to talk about it?” 

Monika sighed. Talk about how she was being pressured to pick between Hyowon and Lia? Or how they were basically ordering her to break up with Lia for Hyowon’s sake?

She’s afraid she’ll keep whatever is going on inside her from the woman. She didn’t like keeping secrets from her girlfriend, but for both of their sakes, it was better to keep it that way for now. 

So she smiled reassuringly and shook her head in the negative, “I’m just tired from everything that had happened these past few days.” Monika acted like just being in the hospital took a toll on her, hoping Lia would buy it. 

It was part of the truth anyway.

Then she saw Lia nod her head once, as though she was resolute to do something she had just thought of.

“Stay the night. I’ll fix you a hot bath that could help you relax,” Then Lia smirked a little devilishly, and Monika noticed, “After that, I’ll give you the best massage you could ever experience. Only if you’re up for it.” Was Monika imagining it, or did Lia’s voice suddenly sound a little raspy and a little… sensual?

It did excite her greatly, and a chuckle escaped her involuntarily. But then she thought of the fact that she just sneaked out tonight, hoping she’d be back before Hyowon woke up. She didn’t really plan on staying for much longer than tonight. Monika internally groaned, and the smile on her face immediately faded into something like distress.

And Lia seemed to notice it immediately.

“Is it a bad idea?”

Monika hated the tinge of insecurity that she heard in Lia’s voice.

“No, no. Believe me, I badly want to stay. But…” She let her sentence hang in the air, reluctant to mention Hyowon’s name.

But Lia immediately seemed to get it as her expression hardened. In a second, her face turned into something a little cold, distant even, and she took a step back from Monika, her hands falling away in the process.

“Ah.” Was the only thing her girlfriend said. 

It was like her insides were being twisted as she felt the hurt and disappointment in that one single word.

Monika wanted to rectify the situation instantly. She really didn’t want to spend their precious time fighting.

Fuck it. Her girlfriend was important to her, too. 

“But… I didn’t bring any spare underwear.” 

Monika tried to smile at her, hoping it wasn’t too late.

Lia scoffed and rolled her eyes, “Don’t worry, I bought a few sets that I have yet to use.” 

“Are you sure you didn’t specifically buy it for me just in case I stay the night?” Monika tried to further lighten up the mood by teasing her.

She was only joking, but the growing redness in Lia’s cheeks and the way she avoided her eyes told her what she needed to know.

She did buy it for Monika. 

It was definitely a sweet gesture, and it made her heart soar. 

Monika chuckled and walked closer. She reached out and tucked Lia’s hair behind her ears and stayed there, caressing her cheek.

“I’m really looking forward to that massage.” 

It was meant to tease her more, but the underlying meaning behind it and the way Monika said it softly, confirming that she’d stay, made this moment become softer and tender than it normally should.

“Me too.” Lia said, finally brightening up.

Monika knew right then that she made the right decision.

She’d just worry about her friend tomorrow.

Chapter Text

Monika and Lia were still in bed talking when her phone rang. Lia just finished giving her a massage, and true to her word, it really was one of the best massages she had ever experienced.

As expected, it had led to other intimate activities, and now they lay intertwined, naked under the covers.

Monika let out a low groan of frustration. She had finally settled into a comfortable position in her girlfriend’s arms, her head nestled against the older woman’s shoulder. The last thing she wanted was to disrupt this perfect moment by getting up to answer whoever was disturbing her at this late hour of the night.

Lia chuckled at her reaction, making her reach out for Monika’s phone instead, handing it to her.

She really wasn’t in the mood to talk to whoever that was because she’d rather keep talking with Lia. But when she saw the name of the person calling, a shiver went down her spine.

This felt eerily like deja vu.

Not this again.

She tried to stay calm and convinced herself that perhaps Aiki had a valid reason for calling so late. Maybe she was simply checking in on Hyowon. Maybe she thought that it was okay to make a phone call at… 2am.

Well, she was still awake anyway, but normal people wouldn’t exactly call this late.

“Stop staring at your phone and just answer it.” She was snapped by her spiraling thoughts when Lia finally spoke. She must’ve been staring at her phone for quite a while.

Monika didn’t delay the inevitable anymore and finally answered the phone.

And her hunch was right. Aiki is calling once again because of Hyowon.

And surprise, surprise. It was nothing but good news.

Monika listened as Aiki told her that she was suddenly woken up by a huge crash outside her room. She found out that Hyowon was there and caught her going through her liquor stash again.

Her friend must have discovered that Monika was not home and deduced that Monika had left to be with Lia. She wanted to reprimand herself; this was precisely what she was trying to avoid. She promised both the doctor and herself that she would take extra precautions to protect her friend and keep her away from things that might trigger her.

She internally groaned. She’s failing miserably so far.

Monika was about to ask why her friend got in without the homeowner’s knowledge when Aiki immediately clarified that Hyowon had a spare key to her flat. Monika didn’t try to question it further, instead focused on the part where Hyowon was about to sabotage her recovery.

This is giving her a major headache.

The dancer, whose voice was frantic and hushed over the phone, was now telling Monika that she needed to go there right now and help her put some sense into their friend’s head.

Monika sighed in resignation. Leaving Lia was something she didn’t really want to do. Couldn’t she get through one peaceful night?

After telling Aiki that she’d be right there and to hold Hyowon back as much as she could, she ended the call.

And then, she sat up and looked apologetically at her girlfriend.

“I have to go. I’m really sorry. Hyowon’s trying to drink again.”

Lia was already frowning when she looked at her. She probably already got the gist of what that call was about. Monika saw how the woman felt like she wanted to say something with the way she opened her mouth but seemed to hold herself back when she closed it again. Lia let out a huge exhale instead.

“Fine. Do what you have to do.”

The immense dismay in that tone made Monika’s heart clench. She wanted nothing but to stay in the warmth of her girlfriend until morning, but she had responsibilities. She couldn’t wait until Hyowon was back to her old self so she could give her an earful.

But it seemed like it would be a very long wait because of how Hyowon was acting. Monika thought it would take an eternity for things to go back to normal between them.

Not to mention the fact that her best friend is harboring romantic feelings for her, and how badly she’s taking the rejection right now. Monika was uncertain whether their friendship would go back to the way things were.

“I’ll call you after. Or I’ll text you if it takes too long.”

Monika reluctantly got up and gathered her clothes, and when she was done, she turned to look back again at the woman pouting on the bed. She chuckled at how adorable Lia looked at that moment, even though she hated that she was the reason that she looked upset.

So she stepped forward and kissed the top of Lia’s head, inhaling her scent simultaneously. The smell of the woman calmed her nerves for a bit.

“I’ll miss you.” Monika said as she stood up. She put her hand on Lia’s shoulder and squeezed it gently.

“Me too,” Lia said softly, then sighed. “I hate that you’re making me this clingy.”

Monika typically disliked clingy people. But now, it’s causing her to smile so broadly that she can feel her mouth stretching.

“I love that you’re clingy,” Monika said.

“It’s annoying.” Lia responded, “It’s making me not want to let you leave right now.”

Monika’s smile turned sad, “Trust me, if this weren’t urgent, I wouldn’t leave.”

“I know.” Lia said understandingly, “You should go ahead. I’ll help you call a cab.”

After an hour and a half, Monika finally stood outside Aiki’s door. Everything seemed to be quiet inside, so Monika had hope that nothing bad had happened yet.

She rang the doorbell and waited until it opened, Aiki’s forlorn and exhausted face greeting her.

“Finally,” Aiki said, relief in her tone.

“Where is she?” Monika asked as she went inside, looking around the apartment for signs of Hyowon.

“She’s finally sleeping in my room.”

That gave a huge relief to Monika. “How did you get her to calm down?”

“I might’ve given her something,” Aiki said sheepishly, guilt showing on her face.

“You what?!” Monika hissed, “Are you out of your mind? Her body’s still recovering! It could’ve been dangerous.” What was Aiki thinking?!

“It’s safe, I promise! I mixed it with her drink because she wouldn’t stop unless I gave her one. She was out of it in just three sips. I had no choice. I’m sorry.” Aiki looked like she was about to cry, and she noticed the dark bags under her eyes. The dancer was probably taking this a lot harder than Monika thought.

It somehow made Monika grateful that Hyowon had other people beside her who seemed to really care about her.

Even though she didn’t agree with Aiki’s methods.

It was effective, but Monika still couldn’t help but think how stupid it was. Unprescribed drugs could have a massive negative effect on Hyowon’s recuperating body.

“It’s either that or drink herself stupid again and end up in the ER.”

Monika finally lets it go. Hyowon seemed to be okay, and that’s all that matters.

But everything wasn’t okay. Not when her friend tried to endanger herself just because Monika went to see Lia tonight. What if she didn’t go to Aiki? What if she tried to do extreme measures that they wouldn’t be able to undo? How could Monika keep living her life with Lia if Hyowon would always fall into a pit like this?

She wanted to scream in frustration. Hyowon wouldn’t stop unless she got what she wanted. Monika wished she didn’t care this much, but it still felt like it was her responsibility to do whatever it took to save her best friend.

Even if it was at the cost of her own happiness.

With a determined stride, she entered Aiki’s room and shook Hyowon awake.

It took a few minutes and with a little force in her shake before the woman finally woke up. The drug Aiki gave her must’ve been a strong one.

Hyowon looked disoriented, as though she was trying to make out her surroundings. She confusedly looked around, her eyes darting around the room.

Until it finally landed on Monika, who was standing by the bed.

“Hyowon, get up. We need to go home.”

Hyowon slowly sat up. Monika tried to help her, but her hand got pushed away.

“I can do it myself. What are you doing here anyway?” Monika heard the ire in her voice. If only her mental health weren’t in a fragile state, Monika would’ve given her friend a piece of her mind already. Her friend kept causing trouble for the people who cared about her and it’s like she didn’t care at all. She was being extremely selfish and reckless.

Monika took deep breaths and tried to calm her anger down. It wouldn’t be good if she lost her temper right now. Not when she’s trying to make her plan work.

The plan that’s putting Monika’s insides in shambles, making her want to throw up.

She just hoped Hyowon would buy it.

She also hoped Lia would agree and go through with it once she told her.

“I… I need you.” Monika lied. She almost wanted to take it back. Emotional manipulation was not her thing. She felt disgusted with herself.

But Hyowon’s instant reaction, with the way her eyes lightened up, made her push through. She swallowed all of her doubts and solidified this plan.

She can do this, Monika tried to tell herself.

“Why? Don’t you have your girlfriend for whatever it is you need me for?” Hyowon tried to say grumpily, but she could tell that her friend was intrigued. She might even say that she looked a bit hopeful.

Monika truly loathed herself for doing this.

“I–” Oh God, she felt like throwing up, “I don’t have a girlfriend anymore.”

Her voice choked up slightly, and Hyowon probably thought that it was because she and Lia broke up, and not because she couldn’t bring herself to make up a lie.

She could see how Hyowon’s face contemplated how to react to what Monika said. She saw how it first turned into one of genuine surprise, then she looked concerned, and Monika was immediately reminded of the Hyowon she used to be. The one who was selfless and who truly cared about Monika’s wellbeing. Then, it settled into an impassive face.

“Oh,” Hyowon said after a few seconds, “I’m so sorry to hear that. Are you… um, are you okay?” Monika was surprised to hear the genuine concern in Hyowon’s voice despite it sounding a little awkward.

Maybe it was because of everything that had happened and what Aiki supposedly revealed about Hyowon that she expected her friend to jump with glee at the news of her and Lia breaking up.

She didn’t expect her to show the type of worry she would usually show back when things were still normal between them.

Maybe she got this all wrong?

“Uh, actually, no, I’m not. Can we go home? I could use a friend right now.” She still continued despite her doubts. Perhaps it was because Hyowon wasn’t sulking anymore, and it was one of the things she wanted to achieve anyway.

So that her friend would forget about her thoughts that were borderline destructive to her life.

Hyowon seemed to be thinking about it, and Monika feared for a moment that she was seeing right through the lie. But then her friend sighed and nodded as though finally making a decision.

“Okay. Whatever you need, I’m here.” Her friend said in a gentle, reassuring voice.

If Monika could heave a huge sigh of relief at that moment, she definitely would.

She didn’t know how long this relief would last, but at least for tonight, she knew that Hyowon would be safe.

That’s what’s important right now.

Lia would probably understand, right?

Monika definitely hoped she would.

Lia was woken up by the feeling of the bed dipping on her side. Her eyes immediately flew open, fearing someone had broken into her house. She was about to turn to her side to see who it was when she saw the familiar tattooed arm hugging her from behind.

“You scared me.” Lia groaned, lightly hitting the arm that was wrapped around her. She felt more than heard Monika chuckle, her face buried into her neck.

“Sorry, I didn’t want to wake you up so I just came in on my own.” She could feel Monika getting comfortable as she hugged her tightly. It must’ve been really early because her 6 AM alarm hadn’t gone off yet. She knew right then that something had happened that possibly stressed the woman yet again.

Well, she did leave in the middle of the night because Hyowon was trying to do something incredibly stupid. It goes without saying that Monika is currently having a hard time.

Lia resented Hyowon even more at that moment. Don’t get her wrong, she was genuinely concerned about the woman when she first heard that she got admitted to the hospital. And she was still worried about what was happening to her because she knew how much Monika meant to her.

But when she heard about what happened last night, Lia couldn’t help but feel a bit annoyed at the woman. She knew that she should empathize with Hyowon and try to understand what she was going through, but she couldn’t. Not when she could see how Monika seemed to suffer because of her.

“Were you able to get some sleep?” Lia asked. It had only been a few hours since Monika left. It was highly possible that she wasn’t able to rest yet.

“Only a little. I just had to see you first thing in the morning.” Monika answered, and Lia could hear how despondent she sounded. “I left before Hyowon could notice.”

Lia furrowed her brow in confusion. Wasn’t that a bit too cautious?

“Why?” She expressed her curiosity out loud, “Is she forbidding you to see me now?” Lia meant for it to sound like a joke, but she couldn’t help the sarcasm to seep through her voice. She knew she should tone the attitude down, but this was all getting a bit too much.

“No, it’s not like that.” Monika denied it, but Lia knew something was up. Something that she wasn’t fully telling Lia.

She turned to her side and finally faced Monika. Lia could now clearly see the effects of her girlfriend’s fatigue; her eyes were reddish, and she looked paler than usual. Lia felt bad, and her heart ached to see her like that, but she still needed to get to the bottom of what was truly happening to her.

“Then, what’s happening? She knows we’re in a relationship, so it would only be natural for you to keep seeing me. She couldn’t keep acting up whenever she’d be reminded that we’re together.” Lia was done tiptoeing around the subject. She needed to know what Monika planned to do about this situation.

She was only probably adding to Monika’s stress by bringing this up, but she felt wholly uncomfortable with this arrangement.

Monika sat up and exhaled. She seemed to be looking more upset, and she looked like she was hesitating to say something with the way she avoided Lia’s eyes.

Lia followed suit and sat next to her. She waited patiently for Monika to say something, and Lia saw how she was trying to prepare herself for what she was about to say.

And the words that came out of her mouth next were something Lia definitely didn’t expect.

“I lied and told Hyowon that we broke up.” Monika said in a defeated voice, and she could see how guilty she looked when she said it.

“What?” Lia was stupefied. She could feel herself getting hot and her heart rate going faster, and conflicting emotions were trying to rise out of her. She could feel the blood rushing to her head, and she felt dizzy.

Maybe she heard it wrong. Or maybe Monika was just making a joke and she didn’t really mean to say something so idiotic.

It had to be a joke, because Lia wouldn’t be able to wrap her head around this if Monika was being serious.

“I… I had no choice. She was taking this too hard that I was afraid that she’d do something that could possibly put her life in danger. This was the only thing I could think of that would make her snap out of it. And it worked, because she didn’t try to fight me when I asked her to come home. She thought I needed a friend.” Monika said in a convincing tone, but Lia was nothing but convinced.

Honestly? She was infuriated.

Lia realized that Monika’s sense of responsibility was both her strength and flaw. The decisions she had been making so far barely made sense, and she was doing all of this just to placate and pacify her friend.

“Did you even think about how I would feel about this? Are you honestly hearing yourself right now?” Lia’s voice was steady, and she tried to remain calm despite how angry this conversation made her. A huge fight was the last thing she wanted to do with the woman.

“I’m sorry that I didn’t tell you beforehand, but… it was just something that I thought on the spot. I just don’t want to make the situation worse.” Monika said, and she still wasn’t meeting Lia’s eyes. Her back was hunched, and she was looking far ahead, her eyes unseeing. She looked ashamed, to say the least.

And it only added to Lia’s ire. Monika knew how absurd it all sounded, but she was still here, standing her ground.

It’s as if she’s not only trying to convince Lia, but she’s trying to convince herself as well.

“Monika, you know I’d do anything for you. I was even willing to hide our relationship to save your career. But asking me to lie even more to make your friend feel better? You, yourself, should know how insane that sounds, right?” Lia responded, trying to reason with the woman.

“It’s only temporary, just until we’re sure that she’s stable.” Monika looked at her then, and she saw her eyes already getting teary. She could also see the signs of frustration in her expression.

Lia was also getting frustrated because how could she still not see that this was completely ridiculous?

She exhaled, trying to keep her temper in check and tried to put some sense into Monika, “And then what? What if she asked you to give her a chance because she thought we were not together anymore? Would you still lie and give it to her?”

“Of course not–”

“Then what would you do if she took the second rejection much worse?” Lia challenged her, and she saw how Monika turned her head away from her, seemingly stunned to silence.

She probably hadn’t thought this far ahead yet, if the furrowing of her brows and the brooding expression were anything to go by.

She stood there, waiting for Monika to break the silence, hoping that Monika would finally acknowledge the craziness of the situation.

And yet, after a few minutes, Monika was still stubbornly adamant.

“Please, just… trust me on this. I promise that I’ll make it up to you after all of this is over.” Monika pleaded, her voice raspy with emotion.

And then it hit Lia. Their relationship would always revolve around another party if she ever agreed to do this. Lia suspected that they’d just be having the same fight over and over again.

She couldn’t do that. She loved Monika and she wanted nothing but to stay by her side. However, unless Monika realized that her savior complex was causing more harm than good, Lia feared she would ultimately become collateral damage.

Lia wanted to laugh. She tried so hard to avoid fighting with the woman, but somehow this escalated into something even more unpleasant.

Tears welled up, clouding her vision, a sense of absolute distress consuming her. She felt even worse at what she was about to say.

“You wanted a break? Okay, I’ll give it to you.”

Monika looked at her, confused and surprised, “What are you saying?”

“It’s clear that your mind and heart are in completely different places. So I’m going to make it easy for you.” Lia’s voice wobbled, and she couldn’t stop the tears from flowing, “I’m going to let you go.”

“No, that’s not what I wanted!” Monika said, hysterical.

“Well, it seems like we’re both being made to do things that we simply do not want.” Lia’s voice was cold and devoid of emotion. Much like what she was feeling inside. Numb, angry and exhausted.

Lia didn’t care if she was making the right decision or not. But if Monika continued to act like this, she was afraid that she’d only end up resenting her as well.

She had to stop that from happening before it was too late. Even if she had to let her go in the process.

Lia guessed her old habits of completely closing off before anyone hurt her deeply was automatically coming back.

She was almost impressed with herself with how quickly she could cut someone off like that. Even if they were the most important person in her life. She felt a lot like the cold-hearted bitch that people used to say about her.

“I can’t accept this. Tell me you’re not actually breaking up with me.” Monika was still in disbelief.

Lia shrugged her shoulders coolly, despite the pathetic tears that were streaming nonstop, “I’m afraid that’s exactly what I’m doing.”

Monika was incredulous, “You’re ending it just like that? After all we’ve been through? You haven’t even given me a chance!”

A chance to break her heart all over again? No, she’d stop it right now before it could happen.

Lia didn’t say anything and just stared at the frantic woman in front of her with cold, emotionless eyes.

“You’re not being fair!” Monika raised her voice at that, she seemed to be panicking that Lia wasn’t responding to her anymore.

That got a rise out of her, however.

“I’m the one not being fair? You didn’t even give me a say in this! You just went ahead on your own and expected me to go along with it. You didn’t even think how this could affect us. You didn’t think about how this could affect me.” Lia rasped out, “You wanted me to give you a chance? Alright. I’m giving you a chance. Tell Hyowon the truth about us right now.”

The way Monika hesitated and slowly shook her head was enough answer for Lia.

“Please…don’t make me do that.” Monika was almost begging, and she looked so pitiful with tears covering her cheeks that Lia almost considered.

She refused to subject herself through all that pain. She refused to end up loathing Monika once more.

She’d end this before they completely ruin the love they have for each other.

“Then you leave me no choice.”

“Please…” Monika finally reached out to her, her hands encasing her face. Lia let her for a second, and she closed her eyes trying to savor this moment… this feeling, of being held by the woman again.

But she had made up her mind.

She took the hands on her face and slowly removed it, and when she was about to release them, Monika held on even tighter.

“Lia, please!” Monika was basically shouting now, but Lia was undeterred.

“You need to go.”

“Lia–”

“Monika!” Lia exclaimed, exasperated, “Please, leave.”

Monika sputtered, seemingly at a loss for words. The woman studied her face, probably looking for any signs that Lia might still take it all back. But Lia was done, and she knew that it was written all over her features because Monika seemed to finally exhale in defeat.

“We’re not done. I promise. I’ll be back for you. I can’t just let you go like this.” Monika said, suddenly looking determined, “I’m just going to sort this whole mess out and–”

“Monika, just go.” Lia was done listening.

“I won’t give up on you.”

As Monika said those final words, she saw in her peripheral vision how she finally got out of her bed, standing up and walking towards the door. Lia turned her head away, not wanting to see her leave out the door because she feared that once she looked at the woman, she might change her mind and ask her to come back.

So she closed her eyes, and waited until she heard the sound of Monika’s footsteps slowly fading away and until she heard her front door close.

Lia was frozen on the spot, her tears still falling like waterfalls. The reality of the situation didn’t fully hit her yet. Maybe it was her defense mechanism refusing to comprehend what just happened, so she wouldn’t feel the pain and utter devastation of breaking up with the love of her life.

Oh God.

She just broke up with the woman she had spent most of her life loving. She just let her go that easily, just because she was afraid of history repeating itself.

She stood up as though wanting to run and catch up to the woman, but her legs stayed rooted on the spot.

No.

Lia needed to be strong and stand her ground.

Then the words that Monika said to her before she left rang in her mind, giving her hope that this wasn’t the end for them.

But Lia quickly admonished herself, and told her that hanging onto something like that could be dangerous for her heart. It could lead to even more hurt and heartbreak, especially if it doesn’t become fruitful.

She just has to find a way to cope through all of this. Besides, she had done this before, anyway.

Losing the woman wasn’t new to her.

Three days had passed and Lia was out of her house for the first time since that day.

Needless to say, she spent all of that time almost rotting in bed, only getting up a few hours each day to feed her dogs and water her plants. She wasn’t in the mood to eat or bathe properly, and she spent most of her time lying in bed and staring in a daze. She tried hard not to think about Monika or the fact that they broke up because she knew that the tears would involuntarily come and she wouldn’t be able to stop.



But at night, when it was the quietest and darkest, Lia couldn’t help but think about the moments she had with the woman. Her heart would clench then, yearning at what she lost. There wasn’t a time when she wouldn’t cry herself to sleep.



Now, as she got on the elevator of her dance studio to meet up with Eunji to rehearse for their performance for the finals, she still felt like shit, for lack of a better word.

She almost canceled this schedule just like she did with her other appointments for the last few days, but she knew that the show was on a strict time period. The show wouldn’t wait for anyone, even for someone like Lia. It was a shame that she wouldn’t be in her best shape today because she had always anticipated preparing for this final performance ever since she started this program. Despite everything that had happened and how much things had changed since then, Lia still hadn’t forgotten her desire to win the show.



So even though she still wasn’t feeling the best, she still tried to make an effort to at least have enough energy for today’s practice. She ate a healthy breakfast this morning, even if she had to force herself, and drank a cup of strong coffee since she only had three hours of sleep that night.

She put on a little lipstick and blush because she didn’t want to scare Eunji with her almost sallow-looking face. She also knew that a small camera crew would be there to film some parts of the practice so she had to be prepared for that. If this gets televised, the audience wouldn’t need to know that Lia looked to be having the worst day.

And she didn’t really want a certain woman to know how much all of this was affecting her.



The final live show was in two weeks, and Lia wasn’t certain where their relationship would stand by then. Well, it’s not like Lia was hoping that something would change in those two weeks, but in case they were still broken up, she wanted to appear like she wasn’t that devastated. She wanted to maintain this strong facade for her ex-lover because she didn’t want Monika to pity her or worse, give her an idea to persuade her again to get back together without even resolving the issue that led to their break-up.

She tried to put a pause to all of these thoughts as she finally reached the floor of the building where the huge private rehearsal room was, usually reserved for exclusive practices or for when they would sometimes film with a client or a celebrity. Lia entered the room and saw that Eunji was already there, practicing. She greeted the staff and cameramen from the show, giving them a quick bow and a smile, then proceeded to walk towards Eunji who stopped dancing for a second, waiting for her.

“Good morning.” Lia said, a formal smile on her face. If she was being honest, she still felt a little awkward and uncomfortable from the last time they saw each other. As much as she tried to get it off her mind, the feeling of the woman’s barely clothed body hugging her that morning still lingered, making her shudder. It did feel like a part of her was violated, but she believed that Eunji was telling the truth and everything that happened was just out of their control.

She needed to get over this and move on, or else she wouldn’t be able to work with the blonde woman effectively. And Lia was nothing but a professional.

“Good morning, coach.” Eunji shyly smiled, bowing her head slightly and avoiding eye contact. The dancer was probably feeling the same awkwardness that Lia was feeling.

While it was nice to know that she at least wasn’t alone in this feeling, it was clear that the lingering tension in the air would make it difficult to work together.

It was her responsibility as both her superior and coach to resolve this, at least for now.

She turned to the crew who was already filming them, gave them a polite smile and said, “Can you turn the camera off for a second? I just need to talk to Eunji in private.” When the staff nodded and switched the cameras off as Lia ordered, she took Eunji by her elbow gently, guiding her to the far corner of the room and away from potential eavesdropppers.

“Look, I know things didn’t go well the last time we saw each other, but right now, we got to put that aside so we can focus on working on this performance. I’m going to move past it, and I need you to do the same as well.” Lia said in a hushed tone.

“Yeah, of course.” Eunji then gave her a charming smile, as though she effortlessly brushed off all that unpleasantness. But then her smile wavered slightly as though she recalled something troubling, “Um, Ms. Monika is okay with all of this, too? I know how angry she was with me last time—”

“You don’t have to worry about that.” The mention of the woman’s name caught Lia off guard, but she couldn’t blame Eunji for bringing her up. Obviously, the young dancer would want to know about Monika since she was involved with their current issue. Lia tried to reassure her without revealing too much, “Let’s just focus on giving them a good show for the finals, okay?”

Eunji nodded and thankfully dropped the subject, “Okay.” Then her smile came back, her eyes lighting up with excitement, “So here’s my idea on what we should do for this piece.”

Lia listened attentively as the dancer told her about what she planned to do for this stage, agreeing and nodding in appropriate times and also offered her opinion. This mission was supposedly a collaboration with the dancer and their coach, where they’d choreograph a dance together, but the concept and the one who’d lead would be the contestant.

Their talk seemed to work because after a few minutes of discussing, they both were already in their element and not once did any personal issue go through Lia’s mind.

Once they had their concept and song down, they immediately started working on the choreography. This went on for almost two hours until they both agreed to work on it alone after that and to meet again next week once they had finalized the moves.

Lia was glad that everything went well, and she also realized that she felt much better than the last three days of being cooped up in her house. The exercise and interaction with someone who wasn’t her dogs greatly improved her mental state.

She was still talking to Eunji as the crew said their goodbyes, leaving them alone in the vast practice room.

That uncomfortable feeling crept up on her again when she realized that she and Eunji were alone. She didn’t understand why she still felt that way, knowing she didn’t have to worry about what Monika would think since they were already finished. Perhaps the lingering belief that things between them weren’t really over was causing her to feel this way.

Nevertheless, it felt ridiculous to be still putting up her guard when she was already technically single.

“Coach, you’re zoning out.” She heard Eunji chuckle. It snapped her out of her thoughts.

“Oh, uh, sorry.” 

“Are you okay? I’m sorry, I can’t help but notice how tired you look. You look like you haven’t been sleeping well.” Eunji said, concern suddenly filling her tone. 

“Wow, thanks.” Lia said sarcastically, but she didn’t want to seem serious so she let out a small laugh and jokingly retorted, “No need to point out how bad I look.”

“Oh no, no,” Eunji tittered, “you have never looked bad, trust me.” Then the worry was back on her face, “It’s just… did you get sick or something? You should’ve told me so I didn’t make you work this hard.” Eunji tried to lighten up the mood as she teased her.

“You’re right. I probably would’ve gotten home a lot earlier. What a shame.” Lia jokingly sighed. 

Eunji seemed to wait for Lia to tell her more, or maybe to acknowledge her question, but when Lia didn’t speak again, she seemed to take it as a sign that Lia wasn’t in a sharing mood.

“You know, I would’ve invited you to join me for lunch, but I know Ms. Monika wouldn’t be too pleased with that.” Eunji asked, and it seemed to Lia’s ears that the way she said it was a bit too prying.
Why does she keep bringing her name up? It’s like she’s intentionally trying to insert her into the conversation.

Maybe Eunji had a hunch that something had happened between them if she could also tell that Lia wasn’t feeling well. Perhaps she had already concluded that she was having problems with her relationship, that’s why she’s indirectly trying to get Lia to talk about her.

Well, if that was her intention, then tough luck. Lia wasn’t ready to talk to anyone about her separation from the woman yet.

But that lunch seemed tempting because she knew that she wasn’t ready to go back to that sad, empty house.

“I’d agree, but only if you promise to stop worrying about what my girlfriend would say. Everything’s fine, believe me.” Lia smiled encouragingly despite the huge lie. 

Oh, how badly she wanted to believe that everything was indeed fine.

She saw how Eunji enthusiastically nodded her head, excitement in her features.

“Deal.”

Lia saw her as soon as she entered the restaurant. It was already after 2 p.m., so the lunch rush was over, and only a few patrons were sitting around the establishment. Because of that, it only took her a second before her eyes landed on the woman sitting at the two-person table at the far right of the restaurant. She noticed she was dining with another woman who had her back to the door. Lia didn’t need the woman to turn around for her to know it was Hyowon as she looked at the familiar bob.

She wanted to laugh mirthlessly at the coincidence. Really? Of all the places she could go to?

Lia took no step further, even when the waitress tried to lead them to their table. She didn’t even notice Eunji looking at her with concern, walking back to her when she realized she wasn’t moving.

“Can we go someplace else? I don’t think I’m in the mood for whatever they’re serving here.” Lia actually didn’t know what the menu consisted of, but she knew she had to get away from here before Monika saw her. And before Eunji also saw Monika. She didn’t really want to explain why she was suddenly avoiding her supposed girlfriend.

She didn’t wait for the confused woman to respond as she turned around immediately, heading towards the exit. She vaguely heard Eunji calling her and saying wait— but she just walked even faster until she was outside the door, walking further away from the place.

“Lia, stop.”

That wasn’t Eunji.

The voice was undeniably familiar, and she would recognize that raspy, authoritative voice anywhere.

Her feet automatically came to a halt. She didn’t turn around, though. She didn’t know what kind of emotions awaited her if she found herself face-to-face with the person she just recently broke up with.

But it seemed that she had no choice in the matter because Monika just appeared in her peripheral vision, and she was now standing in front of her. Lia turned her head to the side, maintaining an impassive expression and avoided looking directly at the woman. She feared she would break down if she allowed herself to look at the woman.

“Lia, please, look at me. We need to talk.” She heard Monika, her tone imploring.

“I believe we have nothing to talk about anymore. I see you and Hyowon are doing just fine.” Lia was unable to hold back from saying the words bitterly. She thought she could remain indifferent, but the image of Monika with Hyowon in that restaurant burned in her mind. It infuriated her to no end how Monika appeared to be doing okay while she was suffering.

“And you aren’t? It seems like you’ve already moved on pretty fast.” Lia was taken aback by the sudden vitriol in Monika’s voice, making her finally look at the woman directly.

It enraged her how she could just easily make that assumption about her. She wanted to say to Monika’s face how she could barely function for the last three days and that she was the reason for it. But she didn’t feel that Monika deserved to know that she was in agony because of her, especially when her life seemed like it was going well. She didn’t want to appear like she had already lost this battle.

But now that Lia was looking at her, she tried to avoid Monika’s hollow eyes and how she looked much thinner than the last time she saw her. It was easier to pin all these frustrations on the woman if she didn’t dwell on how unwell Monika looked.

So, she didn’t feel the need to correct her. If that’s what she wanted to think, then fine. She wanted to feel the same hurt she had felt when she saw her with Hyowon a few minutes ago.

“I could say the same thing about you.” Lia retorted, her words just as biting.

Monika seemed to be stupefied, “That’s nothing. We’re just eating. As friends.” The woman emphasized, slightly gritting her teeth.

“I don’t really care.” Oh Lia definitely cared. That information made her feel better, even for a tiny bit, if she might say so herself.

“Lia, please don’t do this.” Monika scoffed, probably seeing through her bullshit.

Lia wasn’t in the mood for this. They’re in the middle of a sidewalk for crying out loud.

She tried to fix her facial expression just in case there were possible onlookers. It wouldn’t be good if this fight gets somehow publicized.

Lia sighed, “Monika, I’m tired. Go back inside. You wouldn’t want your friend to know that you suddenly left her in the middle of your meal to talk to me, right? Who knows what she’d do if she found out.” Her voice was weary now, different from her sharp tone earlier.

She didn’t wait for a response and started walking away. When she went past Monika, she suddenly felt her hand being tugged back, stopping her tracks. And then her eyes widened in surprise as she felt the woman hug her tightly from behind, holding her in place.

She frantically looked around to see if anyone was around. Thankfully, this part of the street was pretty quiet, and only a few people were out this time of day.

Lia tried to break from Monika’s hold because they were basically making a scene despite the street being empty.

But the woman’s grip was firm.

“Please... stay. Just for a second,” Monika pleaded with desperation in her voice. Lia paused, feeling the weight of Monika’s plea, and eventually gave in. Her hand, initially attempting to loosen Monika’s hold, relaxed, and then squeezed, as if she wanted to savor the moment of being held by the woman.

She let Monika hug her until she saw a person passing by, looking at them strangely. That’s when Lia finally disentangled herself, a little more gently than before, and moved further away from the woman without turning back.

But before she left, Lia spoke.

“Goodbye, Monika.”

And then she finally let her feet move, widening the distance between them until she was nearing the blonde standing a few feet away from them, looking at her in concern.

“I’m sorry, we’d have to take a raincheck. I need to go.” Lia said as she reached her, “I’ll treat you to a nice place next time.” She felt bad for canceling on her, but Lia knew she wouldn’t be able to keep the tears at bay any longer. She suddenly yearned for the comfort of her home where she could be an emotional mess in peace.

“It’s totally okay,” Eunji smiled warmly, her eyes filled with compassion. “Are you doing alright, though? If you need to talk, I’m here for you. I’m a great listener, and I can keep a secret like nobody’s business.” Eunji winked at her. Her words were heavy with meaning, as though she already knew exactly what was going on with Lia.

She was torn whether to feel amused or annoyed at how insightful the young dancer was. But if she were being honest, it gave her solace in a way. Maybe it would be good for her to confide in someone and not keep everything to herself.

Because frankly? Lia was so sick of being alone with her thoughts.

“Actually, what do you think about going back to my office and just ordering in?” Lia suggested. The eagerness in Eunji’s eyes was immediate.

“I think it’s perfect.” Eunji smiled widely.

“Let’s go, then.”

Lia knew that a set of eyes watched that whole exchange happen, and she tried to ignore the dull ache in her chest at the notion that she was causing Monika even more pain by doing this.

But then she reminded herself how all of this started because of Monika’s foolishness, so she shouldn’t feel guilty. And it’s not like she’s doing anything wrong.

So, without turning back, she started making her way toward her studio, marching away completely from the woman.

Chapter Text

Monika sank back into her seat, feeling overwhelmed as a wave of heavy, unsettling emotions washed over her. She was still trying to make sense of what just transpired a few minutes ago. She hadn’t even fully processed everything that happened a few days ago, and now this situation seemed even more complicated than before. 

She never should’ve left the house. She had only said yes because it was the first time in weeks that Hyowon had invited her to eat out again, after a long period of her friend giving her the cold treatment. Despite her reluctance, Monika decided to go along with it, hoping this might be the first step toward mending their complicated friendship.

She was torn whether to feel lucky or unfortunate that coincidentally, she bumped into Lia in the same restaurant that they were in. The moment her eyes landed on the departing woman, it was as though her feet had a mind of its own and didn’t waste any time catching up to her. It didn’t even come to mind that Hyowon might see all of it and break this brief peace between them. She was just focused on one thing only, and that was the opportunity to talk it out with Lia again and give her a chance.

But when she finally got to talk to her and the woman remained adamant, it only broke Monika. And when she thought that her rejection was painful enough, Monika saw who Lia was with, and her entire body froze with shock and betrayal. She saw red, and even as she returned to the restaurant and came back to sit in front of Hyowon, that image of Lia leaving with that woman remained in her mind.

She was seething. But not because she was angry with Lia or that woman. No. She could only be mad at herself. Monika had let their relationship come to this, and now she could only watch as the love of her life drift further away from her and possibly be taken away from her. As that thought materialized, sudden fear took over her. 

Monika could really lose Lia. 

And that’s when it hit her. 

How foolish she had been. She was so blinded by this ambition to take responsibility for someone that she lost sight of what was really important. It wasn’t that Hyowon wasn’t important to her, but Monika shouldn’t have hurt Lia the way she did, either. She was rash and impulsive, and that led to her causing pain to the woman she loved, something she swore she wouldn’t ever do again.

God, she really had been so stupid.

It’s time for Monika to fix everything . And she needed to start with the woman in front of her. 

She looked up and faced her friend, who was already looking at her with a puzzled and concerned expression. Hyowon would need to understand and start handling this issue like an adult because Monika was done picking up the pieces for her. 

Monika would still support and help her to an extent– that’s a given. Despite every messed up thing that she did, Hyowon was still a dear friend to her. Monika couldn’t just throw her to the wolves alone that easily. She’d still do everything she could for Hyowon, but only within reason.

Finally making up her mind, she took a huge exhale and spoke, “I need to tell you something.”

Hyowon furrowed her brow and slowly asked, “Okay, what is it?” Her friend seemed nervous as she put down the glass of juice she was just sipping on. It was as though she already knew that what Monika was about to say was not to be taken lightly.

“I lied. About me and Lia breaking up. I mean, initially, it was a lie, because I didn’t really plan on breaking up with her, I only did it because I thought it would make you feel better,” She ignored the small gasp that came out of Hyowon and rambled on, “But it didn’t work out so now, we’re actually broken up.” She paused and watched Hyowon catch up to what she was saying. When it seemed like she understood Monika, her friend nodded, albeit with a confused look. She continued, “But I plan to get back together with her.” Monika said with a little more steel in her voice, “And I think it’s time you finally accept that.” 

Hyowon seemed taken aback as she looked stunted, her mouth opening and closing as though she was speechless at what Monika declared. A determined look remained on Monika’s face, and she stared at Hyowon unwavering, crossing her arms. She waited until Hyowon gave her a response.

“I- ” Hyowon uttered, then sighed, her features relaxing, “Believe me, I’m doing my best.” 

“Really? Because I don’t think I’m seeing any effort on your part.” Monika couldn’t help it. The frustration that had built up towards her friend for the past few weeks had finally reached its limit.

Hyowon seemed genuinely offended by that, “I know I screwed up when I got myself into the hospital, but I was really trying to get myself together since then.” 

Monika furrowed her eyebrows in confusion. Didn’t she just go to Aiki’s a few days ago to do the exact opposite of “getting herself together”?

“Weren’t you just trying to sabotage your recovery a few days ago when you went to your friend ? She told me you tried to drink again.” Monika relayed with a little more force. Why was she still lying to her? 

“What?” Hyowon exclaimed, clearly upset at the accusation. Monika just got even more confused, “I never did that.” 

“Aiki told me she found you looking through her liquor cabinet.” 

“She said what ? I went there because I needed someone to vent to. I woke up that night at our house, and you weren’t there, and I — the thought of you leaving me alone for her made me so upset. And I hated that I felt that way. I already knew my feelings were a lost cause… but it’s still hard for me to move on that easily. That’s why I went to Aiki’s.” Then Hyowon suddenly looked angry as she gritted out her next words, “And now I know how bad of an idea that was.” 

“What do you mean? Are you saying that Aiki was lying?” Monika still couldn’t make sense of what Hyowon was saying. God, she didn’t know what or who to believe right now.

Hyowon paused and looked at her. A slightly guilty but resolute expression was on her face. Her friend sighed as though her next words carried great weight.

“What I’m saying, is that it’s time you know who Aiki really is.” 

What? Another fucking revelation? 

“Okay. What exactly do you mean?” Monika said as she crossed her arms. Hyowon was still unaware that Aiki said something about her when they were in the hospital. She knew that what Hyowon was about to say would probably be related to what Aiki told her a while ago. But she wouldn’t tell her friend just yet. She’d try to listen to her version of the story first.

Trying to find out who was actually telling the truth could be a pain in the ass, though. 

“Aiki was the one who took that photo of you in that club… you know, the one where—”

“Yes, I know what you’re referring to.”

“She was behind all of it.” Hyowon declared as though it was a major revelation. Monika tried to feign surprise.

“What? Why?” 

“One reason is because she hated our group. Did you know she was also competing back then? Her crew kept losing to us.” 

Monika was already aware of that. And she already knew that the other reason was that Hyowon wanted to ruin her relationship with Lia, that is, if what Aiki told her was true.

“And the other reason?” 

“Aiki… uh… we actually had an on-and-off thing.” Hyowon said, shame covering her features.

Wait, what? That’s new.

“You… and Aiki?” Monika asked, genuinely surprised. But what does that have to do with this?

“Unfortunately, yes. It wasn’t serious, at least for me. But Aiki… she grew really fond of me. So when she asked me out for real and I rejected her because I already liked someone… she didn’t take it well.” Hyowon sighed, “She found out that it was you who I had feelings for. Aiki knew that Lia was the second leader of the group so she knew that if she sent that photo to her, there was a chance that it could create a huge mess. And she was right.” Hyowon said solemnly. Monika knew all too well how that ended up. “That’s actually one of the major reasons. Instead of getting back at me, she decided to take it out on you instead. She blamed you for getting rejected, so she wanted to hurt you like she got hurt by me.”

But this wasn’t adding up to what Aiki told her. 

Perhaps it’s time Monika told Hyowon what Aiki said about her.

“Actually, Aiki already said something about this. But she told me that it was your idea to take that photo because you wanted to ruin my relationship with Lia.” Monika said evenly. To be honest, she already felt something suspicious about that woman, and that’s why she wasn’t quick to believe her right away. Monika was just really frustrated with Hyowon’s actions at the time that Aiki’s story made sense to her. But deep down, she knew she wasn’t getting the whole picture.

“Oh, that lying, manipulative bitch!” Hyowon slammed her hands on the table. Monika immediately shushed her and looked around to see if anyone saw. She heard Hyowon continue, “She must have spiked my drink that night to make it look like I got wasted again. It was odd that I felt super sleepy in just a few minutes after she gave me that glass of juice. That’s why the drink tasted funky. Ugh.” Hyowon huffed, her nostrils flaming with anger. “I forgot to ask why I was suddenly sleeping in Aiki’s bed because you were already there, waking me up and saying that you and Lia broke up. Fuck.”

“That part where she drugged you was something she didn’t lie about. But she did tell me that she put it in a glass of vodka or something because you were so stubborn about wanting to drink your sorrows away again.” Monika calmly said. She didn’t need to know who was lying anymore. She wasn’t stupid to believe a random woman over her own best friend.

She didn’t even feel mad anymore. Honestly? She just felt relieved. Don’t get her wrong, she was still furious with Aiki, but the fact that Hyowon was really innocent, and she wasn’t about to go insane like Aiki wanted her to believe, well, she simply didn’t have the energy to be upset at the moment. 

She’d definitely deal with that woman soon, however.

But then, something occurred to her. 

“Wait, if she liked you, then why was she trying to get me to break up with Lia? Shouldn’t she be happy that she’d have less competition over you?” Monika was still trying to wrap her head around Aiki and Hyowon. She didn’t see that one coming.

“Honestly? I have no idea. But what I do know is that Aiki takes pleasure in ruining your life, and she knew that breaking you and Lia up was the best way to do it.”

Then that led to Hyowon telling the whole story from the very start, from the time they had a fling, to that photo in that club and ruining their crew, to them meeting again through this show. She even told her that Aiki was also the one who sent that photo to Gabee, in which Monika immediately told her that Aiki also mentioned that and accused Hyowon of doing it under an email that was logged into her phone. Hyowon got even more enraged at that and said that she already found out that Aiki used her phone to make that account, because she was meeting up with that dancer at that time. Hyowon knew why she did it because Aiki had once again asked her for another chance, and just like before, she had to reject her. Aiki knew right away that it was because Hyowon still harbored feelings for Monika, so she made another attempt to get back at her.

Hyowon realized that Aiki wouldn’t stop and would keep this thing hanging over their heads, so she planned to actually befriend her in the guise of trying to get some dirt on her that would hinder her from blackmailing them even further. Unexpectedly and regrettably, they grew closer and built a sincere friendship along the way, at least, that was what Hyowon thought. Hyowon said that she had been too naive to think that she could trust her after everything that she had done.

Monika agreed, but she wasn’t particularly annoyed with it. Her friend’s ability to befriend almost everyone was one of the things that made her a good person. She couldn’t exactly be mad at her for that.

Hyowon continued and told her that they had a twisted relationship (an understatement of the year) and that even though Hyowon knew how Aiki was the one who kept trying to ruin Monika’s life, she still grew to be her confidante. Since Aiki was the only one who knew about Hyowon’s secret feelings for Monika, her friend had no choice but to confide in Aiki.

Hyowon felt certain that she had already changed. As Hyowon continued to meet up with Aiki multiple times, Aiki expressed in one of their meetings that she was content with the friendship they had right now and conveyed that she had already moved on from the past. Her friend said that she should’ve been clued in that something was still up when Aiki “accidentally” posted that photo of Monika and her kissing on her Instagram. She said she genuinely regretted doing it, and Hyowon easily fell for it. 

Her friend couldn’t look more apologetic at that moment, and she even said how sorry she was that Monika got involved in this because of her. 

Monika sighed. It wasn’t anyone’s fault but that scheming woman. Hyowon’s only mistake was being too nice and giving Aiki a chance, but that wasn’t even something she could blame her for. 

“It’s fine, you don’t have to be sorry about that. That woman will be dealt with later. I’m just relieved that you’re not who Aiki wanted me to believe.” Monika said, giving her friend a small, tired smile. She was so mentally and emotionally drained that she didn’t have any energy left to be mad and shocked right now.

“I’m still sorry for putting you through all this trouble. And for worrying you when I got myself admitted to the hospital. That one was entirely on me.” Hyowon chuckled sadly, remorse swimming in her eyes. “In return, please let me deal with Aiki myself. I don’t want you to stress yourself even further because of her. Besides, I have enough material on her that would make her leave you alone forever.” Monika saw the sudden, determined fire in Hyowon’s eyes, and admittedly, she felt highly comforted by it. While Monika wanted to personally punch that woman in the face, she had a lot of things on her plate right now. Monika trusted her friend to see this through for her.



“It’s not something illegal, is it?” Monika jested, her mood finally lightening up for the first time after a few days of misery.



“I think it’s better that you don’t know.” Hyowon teased back, smirking. 

“Fine,” she rolled her eyes, “Just be careful. Who knows what that woman is capable of.” 

Hyowon gave her a warm smile at that, “I’ll be fine. I promise.”

At that moment, it felt as though a huge burden had been lifted from Monika’s chest as one of her problems was finally resolved. Hyowon wasn’t headed towards the path of destruction, and she appeared to be making an effort to move on from her unreciprocated feelings.

A sudden need to go and run to the person she wanted to make up with the most arose. But she didn’t know if Lia would appreciate her going back and forth with this. Lia might think that Monika wasn’t being sincere. 

Monika bit her lip, her hands fidgeted and rocked her leg up and down as she tried to think of the best course of action for this. She was contemplating so hard that she barely even registered it when Hyowon spoke again.

“So if I’m getting this right, you only broke up with Lia, because Aiki said so?” 

That broke her out of her stupor.

“Well, she did put that idea in my head. And she made it sound like if I didn’t do something about it, then you’d become even worse. Maybe that’s why she made those exaggerated lies about you. So that I’d be left with no choice.” Monika gritted her teeth as she relayed. She couldn’t believe she had been manipulated so badly. Aiki knew her weak spot all too well. 

“Oh. So you did it because of... me?” Hyowon sounded surprised, amazed even. Then she scrunched her face in what seem like disappointment, “I’m touched and all, but you do know that that literally won’t solve anything. All parties would just end up miserable,” Her friend then looked at her with stern eyes, “I hope you weren’t thinking of giving me a chance out of pity.”

“No,” Monika laughed, but it was devoid of humor, “of course not. I’m sorry but… I don’t think I could date anyone anymore unless it was… her.” she looked at her friend’s reaction, her instinct to be careful around mentioning the woman was still there. To Monika’s relief, Hyowon just nodded in understanding. “And I do know how foolish that was. I made a mistake, and now I’m facing the consequences.”

“It’s not too late, isn’t it? You should explain everything to her and just get back together.” Hyowon said straightforwardly, as though it was that simple.

“I will but… she might think that I’m only doing it because you gave me the clear. And she’s still upset with the way I handled… everything ,” she said, gesturing widely, “I should– I should give her some time to cool off.” Her words sounded as defeated as she felt at that moment. She could still remember the devastated look in Lia’s eyes the night she broke things off with her. She wasn’t sure if Lia would be willing to listen to her right now especially with how disappointed she was with Monika’s actions.

“For what it’s worth, I really am sorry for everything. I know you wouldn’t be in this situation if it weren’t for me.” Hyowon bowed her head as she said it, her words and expression full of remorse.

Monika immediately reassured her friend, “No one’s to blame here but that woman. And also me. It was still my actions that ruined my relationship.” she gave her friend a kind smile, “But if it would make you feel better, I want you to know that I’m not mad at you, or think that you’re at fault here.”

Hyowon seemed to take her words to heart as her lips downturned into a pout as though she was about to cry, then covered her face, like she was ashamed, “God, I became such a pathetic loser these past few weeks. I won’t blame you if you decide to kick me out or don’t talk to me forever.” her friend groaned. Monika could only laugh at how melodramatic she was being.

“Rent isn’t cheap so kicking you out is out of the option,” Monika put a finger on her chin as though she was thinking, “And it would be weird if I don’t talk to you considering we live together and run a dance studio.” she sighed dramatically, then smirked, “I’m afraid you’re just going to have to continue being the usual pain in my ass.”

“Hey!” Hyowon finally let out a small laugh, “I’m actually being serious here.”

“So am I.” 

She saw Hyowon shake her head as she laughed, and Monika was reminded of the old times where they’d easily laugh and talk like this with each other. She felt a sense of relief then, as she realized that she wasn’t losing her friend after all, and that somehow, the once broken pieces are now slowly stitching itself back together.

Monika just hoped that things would continue to go like this from now on.

Lia and Eunji had finally settled down in her office, each holding a slice of sizzling hot, cheese-covered pizza. Without anything to distract them anymore, the silence that enveloped them intensified, making the air feel constricting.

“This is so good. I’m glad we chose to eat in here.” Eunji moaned around a mouthful. The blonde seemed to be unaware of Lia’s discomfort as she happily munched and blowed on her food. She couldn’t be more jealous of the young woman.

The plan was for Lia to tell Eunji about the current state of her relationship with Monika, or at least have someone to vent to about everything she’s feeling right now. However, now that the time had come for her to say something, Lia doubted if it was appropriate to talk about this to someone who was just the reason for her last big fight with Monika.

Lia pitied herself at that moment. If only she had other friends she could talk to, she definitely wouldn’t be here. But alas, this was the result of years of isolating herself, and now her only choice of companionship right now is the woman who she still wasn’t even sure what her real intentions towards her are. The vivid memory of Eunji, pulling her on top of her in the guest bedroom, peering at her with eyes that definitely didn’t seem platonic, quickly flashed in her mind.

Fantastic. Now she had managed to make the situation even more awkward and escalate the tension in the room. What’s worse, is that Lia seemed to be the only one feeling it, as she noticed Eunji nonchalantly enjoying her pizza. She was acting as though the earlier altercation with Monika hadn’t fazed her at all, and Lia couldn’t help but wonder why.

“How are you so…relaxed?” Lia voiced her thoughts with a hint of irritation. She couldn’t be the only one feeling uncomfortable. 

That managed to halt Eunji’s actions, her jaws slowly ceased their movement as she directed her surprised gaze towards Lia. She saw how the woman sighed and put down her food, then wiped her hands on a piece of tissue before properly facing Lia, giving her all of her attention.

“I don’t see the point of stressing over things I can’t control.” Eunji shrugged, “And I thought that if I acted like this then you’d be able to relax as well,” the woman’s voice turned gentle, her tone filled with empathy. Eunji had probably already sensed her discomfort. Lia didn’t know whether to laugh or be annoyed that someone who was barely a close friend knew her too well.

“Well, as you've just witnessed a while ago, it’s difficult for me to relax at the moment.” Lia couldn’t help but say sarcastically, her defensive walls instinctively coming up. It made her feel bad as soon as she said it, though. “I’m sorry, I’m just in a really bad place right now.” Lia looked down, gathering her thoughts as she tried to finally talk about what she invited Eunji to talk about. 

A few minutes went by and she was still having a silent war within herself when Eunji spoke, seemingly sensing her hesitation.

“You don’t have to talk about it if you’re not ready. I could just keep you company and talk about anything else. Or we could just eat in silence if you much preferred that.” She smiled at Lia reassuringly, “Whatever you need, I’m here.” 

Lia felt the pressure leave her at that moment, feeling comforted with the woman’s words. It was nice to know that she could finally count on someone to be her friend in this situation despite… everything. Lia had a few people in her life she could call friends, but she was pretty bad at staying in contact that she didn’t know if she could still call them one. It was basically still a foreign concept to Lia— having a friend, but she found that the feeling it brought wasn’t totally unwelcome.

Lia gave her a small, grateful smile, but she knew that she was ready. It felt like she was about to explode if she continued to keep everything inside of her bottled up.

So she relayed everything to Eunji, starting with the fact that Monika and her took a break. Lia told her about how it felt like she wasn’t as important to Monika when she made decisions that ended up hurting Lia, and even going as far as to telling the story of their first falling out from twelve years ago. Lia kept it as discreet as possible, omitting names and other specifics, as respect to her girlfr— ex -girlfriend, because she knew that Monika wouldn’t appreciate her business being aired out to a stranger. Lia was basically doing that anyway, but she tried to focus on what she was feeling, rather than what happened. 

When she was finished, she felt significantly lighter, the tension and pent-up emotions slowly seeping out as she poured everything to Eunji. Lia finally knew why people kept friends around. It was definitely better to talk to a real human being in comparison to having a one-sided conversation with her dogs at home. 

“May I say something that could possibly offend you?” 

The immediate feeling of joy almost vanished at Eunji’s response. Lia was immediately shown the downside of having a friend right then. She forgot that she had to listen to what they also thought of the situation, or any possible commentaries about her.

Well, maybe an outside perspective couldn’t hurt. Especially if Lia was still clouded with emotion, and it’s possible that she couldn’t see this thing clearly.

“I feel like you’d say it anyway even without my permission.” Lia said lightly, teasing, her earlier skepticism fading away.

Eunji let out a mock gasp of surprise, “Hey! I’m not that rude.” 

“Rude, no. Overly familiar, yes.”

“They’re both just as bad.”

Lia chuckled, “Don’t worry, you wouldn’t be here right now if it bothered me that much.” She said a little truthfully, despite the teasing in her tone. Then finally relenting, she said, “Fine, tell me, I’m sure nothing could possibly hurt me more right now.”

“I won’t hurt you, I promise.” Eunji said and held her eyes with emotion, and Lia felt like she was transported back to that drunken night. When Lia had an inkling that Eunji viewed her possibly as more than just a friend. 

No– Lia tried to push all of those thoughts away from her mind once again. It wasn’t a good idea to dwell on that moment especially if she was just warming up to the idea of Eunji being her genuine friend. Lia wasn’t in the mood to complicate another relationship even more. 

“I think you’re kind of being too overprotective of yourself.” 

“Excuse me?” That took Lia aback. 

“Before you get mad, hear me out. I think it’s understandable to protect yourself from possibly getting hurt again because of your history… But I think you’re getting ahead of yourself. I mean, nothing has happened yet. I think it’s unfair that you haven’t even tried to give Monika a chance.” Eunji relayed without looking the slightest bit ashamed. Lia almost admired her boldness if she only wasn’t the subject of this particular criticism. It’s as though Monika reached out to Eunji and instructed her to say these exact words to Lia. 

That thought made her want to laugh. She knew Monika would rather drop dead than do that for sure.

Eunji continued, not giving Lia a chance to respond, “It’s funny, because past me would’ve kicked myself in the ass for doing this.” the blonde gave her a weighted look as she chuckled to herself. 

“Kick yourself for badmouthing a senior? Yes, you definitely should.” Lia’s tone was dripping with sarcasm. 

“That’s not what I’m doing!” Eunji sighed as she laughed, “No… it’s because… I had the biggest crush on you so I would’ve hated it if I ruined my chances with you.” 

Eunji said it so nonchalantly that Lia almost missed it.

It only hit her a few seconds later after she said it, and it made Lia freeze in the spot.

The universe really decided to fuck her up all at the same time, huh?

“Eunji—” Lia started to say when the blonde put her hand on her arm, and gave her a small smile. 

“Don’t worry, I’m not here to steal you from Monika or complicate things for you any further. If I was, I wouldn’t tell you something that would possibly get you back together with her.” Eunji gently said, her voice and expression turning serious, and it made Lia relax a bit, “I genuinely care about you and your happiness, and I think you and Monika are a match made in heaven. But that’s just my opinion. I know you probably don’t care about it and you think otherwise, but I just wanted to tell you that.”

Lia was rendered speechless, and she didn’t know what to feel at the moment. While it’s true that Lia was itching to tell the woman off and say how dare she, making comments about her life, still, a huge part of her felt like this was the kind of talk that she definitely needed. Besides, at the end of the day, it was still up to her whether she’d take Eunji’s advice and take what Eunji said to heart or just completely ignore her.

After a few minutes of silence and getting her bearings, Lia cleared her throat and responded, “I appreciate your concern but, I’m not sure I believe that. You don’t know the pain she had caused me all those years ago, so forgive me if I’m being extra cautious and not wanting history to repeat itself. I don’t think my heart could survive going through it again.” Lia said sincerely, hoping Eunji would understand and just drop this nonsense. 

She would be lying though if she said that she didn’t believe that she and Monika were meant for each other. Lia knew how perfect they were together, and she hadn’t felt utterly complete in her life than when she was in her arms. But she just couldn’t put herself in that situation again. She’d rather lose her completely before they reach a point where Lia would end up hating Monika again, ruining what they have for a second time. 

She couldn’t go through that kind of heartache again.

Lia could feel the telltale sign of sorrow thinking about it, so she tried to put an end to the topic and focus on the other bombshell that Eunji just dropped. Eunji said that she decided not to make a move on her, so it probably wouldn’t hurt to ask her more about it, right? 

Just to take her mind off of the woman that makes her want to crumble into pieces.

Eunji looked like she was about to argue further, but Lia beat her to it before she could respond.

“Anyway, was that true? That you had a crush on me?” Lia tried to say it teasingly because the last thing she wanted was to make things even more awkward between them.

The blonde chuckled in surprise, “Yeah, you were my biggest inspiration and role model when I got into this industry. So when I got to finally meet you and got to know you personally, I realized that you were even better than I imagined. I couldn’t help but develop a crush.” Eunji shrugged and gave her a small, sad smile, “When I found out that you were already involved with someone and especially finding out who it was… I knew I would never stand a chance.” She chuckled a little self-deprecatingly, a contrast from her usual confident demeanor.

Then the memory of waking up beside Eunji with no clothes on flickered through her mind, dreading the thought that she had put two and two together.

Did something actually happen between them?

Her train of thought must’ve become too obvious on her expression, because Eunji seemed alarmed. 

“Hey, as I’ve said before, nothing really happened that night. And I didn’t try to take advantage of you, if that’s what you’re thinking. I swear I was just as stupidly drunk as you were.” Eunji was quick to clarify. Lia saw the sincerity in her words so there was no doubt that she was being truthful. And Lia didn’t really strike her as someone who would do something abominable. 

“Okay, I believe you.” Lia nodded, relief washing through her. 

“You know, I normally don’t give up that easily, especially with matters concerning the heart, but when I realized that you and Monika were together… it just made a lot of sense to me that I just waved my little white flag and accepted my defeat.” Eunji let out a small laugh, as though her words didn’t just make Lia’s heart yearn and ache even more. 

Lia sighed heavily, and the sound seemed to clue Eunji in, smiling and nodding in acceptance.

“Fine, fine, I won’t talk about it anymore.” Eunji made a zipping motion with her mouth and gave her a cheeky wink. Lia just shook her head in amusement and grabbed another pizza, officially ending this particular discussion. 

Opening up to another person definitely felt good, but she could only do so much before that feeling turned into something uncomfortable. 

At least she was making progress in the “making new friends” department, although Lia was still unsure if all of this was worth the effort, and that she could’ve gone on with her life without doing this. She didn't know if this was a positive thing or not.

(She’s only kidding. Of course this was a good thing. To some extent. Okay! Fine, it wasn’t completely unpleasant.)

To Lia’s relief, the subject went further away from her current predicament, and they went on to discuss the upcoming finals and their joint performance. They hung out and talked for a few hours until it was dark outside, and only then did they decide to call it a day and go home.

Everything went so well that it left Lia feeling much better that she almost believed that after a few days of crying herself to sleep, tonight would be a lot different.

Oh, how wrong she was. 

Once her head hit her pillow and her room was shrouded with darkness, the loneliness crept in once again, her mind being filled with thoughts of Monika, making her eyes automatically fill with tears.

Lia yearned for the day where she could finally feel like she wasn’t breaking like a thousand pieces inside. She knew that it would only come if all the love and care she had for Monika completely went away.

That thought didn't bring her any comfort, either. 

Lia wasn’t certain if Monika being entirely gone from her life would be any better than this.

God, she was really destined to be miserable, wasn't she?

“Hey, I’m really glad you came.”

Lia definitely didn’t share her sentiment as she looked at the woman taking a seat across from her. Nothing but trepidation filled her since that day Hyowon suddenly reached out to her via phone message, asking her to meet up. Lia gawked at the audacity and wanted to turn it down as soon as she received the message, but another message popped up a few seconds later saying how she wanted to clear things up and apologize.

That intrigued the hell out of Lia. Was she doing this because Hyowon finally got what she wanted, and she just wanted to see the look on Lia’s face as Hyowon told her that she won and got Monika in the end? 

But a third message went through, as though Hyowon was able to sense Lia’s hesitation that assured her that she didn’t have any ulterior motives and it’s not going to be like she thought it would be. Lia finally responded and asked her how she knew she was thinking that, and Hyowon replied that she’d be contemplating the same thing if she was in Lia’s position. Lia became convinced in the end, and figured she could just throw a glass of water in her face like in those TV dramas if Hyowon actually deceived her.

And now, she found herself here, finally facing one of the sources of why Monika and her were through, something she didn’t know would happen in her near future.

“So, I believe you’re here to apologize?” Lia skipped the pleasantries, hoping they’d get to the point of why this meeting was happening. She didn’t want to spend unnecessary time here as much as possible. 

Hyowon let out a small chuckle, “You’re not beating around the bush, are you? Don’t you want to order first?”

Lia didn’t dignify it with a response, and just crossed her arms and glared. She was probably being unnecessarily rude, but it’s not like Hyowon gave her a reason to be necessarily nice either ever since she met her again a few months ago.

“Okay, okay. I probably deserve this anyway.” Hyowon gestured to her demeanor, and slouched, Lia could see guilt filling her face. “You’re right. I’m here to apologize.” the woman sighed and looked at Lia with eyes seemingly filled with remorse, “Okay, here goes. I wanted to say that I am deeply and utterly regretful and ashamed for what I’ve done to you and for ruining your relationship with Monika. I know I have been antagonizing and have been a mess and I’m truly not proud of it. For that, I’m really, really sorry.” 

Lia knew that these are words that she needed to hear, but she was confused as to why she was hearing them. Why now? Because Hyowon finally got what she wanted so she didn’t have any reason to be hostile to Lia? Was this some kind of fucked-up way to ease her guilt of getting Monika in this pathetic way?

All of these thoughts seemed to make her even more irritated, so she couldn’t help the response that came out of her. 

“Are you done?” Lia coldly asked, gathering her bag and getting ready to stand up. She knew it was a mistake coming here.

“Wait— no, I’m not done, Lia, where are you going?” Hyowon seemed to panic when she saw that she was about to bolt from her chair, so she shouldn’t probably be surprised that the woman stood up and held her arm, stilling her. 

That seemed to freeze her on the spot and stare at the offending hand that made contact with her. 

“Get your hands off of me.” Lia gritted out, careful not to raise her voice and attract even more attention from the cafe. Some people were already looking at the obvious ruckus they were making. 

“Not until you sit back down and listen to what I have to say.” Hyowon calmly responded, her voice placating as though Lia was an unruly child about to have a breakdown.

They stood there for a few minutes, unmoving and staring the other down, until Lia realized that Hyowon seemed to be just as unrelenting and stubborn, so Lia sighed and grumbled, “Fine.” as she sat back down. She eyed her water and thought that she could still do that splash her on her face thing if the situation got really ugly. She just hoped no one would be able to recognize her and be fast enough to record the moment if it came down to it. She couldn’t afford to deal with another scandal right now.

“I’m not just here to apologize,” Hyowon continued when they both got settled in their seats. Lia fucking knew it. She knew Hyowon would rub it in her face and gloat about how—

“I wanted to make it all up to you by helping you get back together with Monika.”

That stopped all running thoughts from her mind. 

“I don’t need your help.” Lia sputtered in surprise, still taken aback by the completely opposite direction this conversation was going as opposed to what she expected.

Hyowon chuckled, “I know, but I thought hearing some things from me might make things better. I’ve actually already talked things through with Monika. She told me everything and clarified some truths. It was a really enlightening conversation but the bottomline is, she wanted to be upfront with me. She made it clear that she plans to get back together with you, regardless of how I feel about it. Of course, I’m fine with it, but she didn’t realize that at the time. But, yeah, we’re finally okay. But knowing that you two are still not and I’m the reason for it… I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I didn’t at least try to do the best I can to mend this for you.” 

Okay, she didn’t really expect this at all.

“If that’s so then why are you here instead of her?” Lia’s mind was still reeling with confusion and shock that she couldn’t help being defensive. Well, she was still right, wasn’t she? If Hyowon already knew the truth then why didn’t Monika reach out to her first? Wasn't she just chasing Lia a few days ago, desperate to talk to her? She scoffed at the woman’s inconsistency. 

Lia remembered that she currently blocked Monika’s number after the last time she had seen her and sent her a message before she did, stating that she didn’t want to see her anytime soon. She sent it that night when she got pissed at herself for pathetically crying over Monika once again. But that was beside the point. 

The woman always had a stubborn streak to her, so Lia knew that if Monika wanted something, she’d stop at nothing just to get it.

She was also ignoring the tiny swell of her heart at the information that Monika couldn’t help but to tell the truth to Hyowon because she really wanted to be with Lia. She mentally slapped herself at the sliver of hope it gave her.

Monika’s still not here, isn't she?

“She’s respecting your wishes and giving you space. She knew how incredibly mad you are at her and didn’t want to risk doing anything that might make it worse.” 

“So she sent you instead?” Lia rolled her eyes. While she knew how stubborn Monika could be, she also knew she’d do anything Lia would tell her to do. If Lia told Monika to go to the ends of the Earth for her, she probably would. It was kind of endearing and a little annoying, really.

It was especially annoying now, because all she wanted was for Monika to talk to her as soon as she fixed everything with Hyowon, which was the sole reason why they’re in this predicament in the first place.

“No, she didn’t know I’m meeting with you, actually.” Hyowon countered, “I understand that she wanted to give you space, but I couldn’t just sit still and watch her be miserable because she wanted to do as you say.” The woman sighed dejectedly, meeting Lia’s gaze, her genuine intention to make it up to her clear in her eyes.

That thawed Lia a bit, and the guard she put up since she came here slowly came down, the tension ebbing away from her. 

Her fight wasn’t with Hyowon anyway, and it seemed like she really regretted everything she had done and was willing to mend things with Lia. A feat that Lia surely wouldn’t have done if she were in her position. She had to commend her for that.

“I appreciate the gesture, truly, but this is something that Monika and I have to fix ourselves.” Lia gently reminded, a huge exhale escaping her. She had decided that it was time to move on from whatever this is between her and Hyowon and start anew. “But for what it’s worth. I’m forgiving you. I haven’t been very… cordial with you either so I know I have some apologizing to do as well.”

“It’s fine.” Lia saw the evident smile of relief from Hyowon, “I’m just glad we’re finally able to do this, you know? And I’m happy you didn’t outright throw a glass of water in my face the moment I came in. I wouldn’t even blame you if you did.” Hyowon quipped, but seeing the apparent guilt on Lia’s face made Hyowon’s eyes comically bulge in surprise, “Oh my God, thank you for not pushing through with it. I mean, I said I would understand but it would definitely be a hassle to walk around with wet clothes.”

Lia finally let out a chuckle, the first time she had smiled all afternoon, “Thank you, for not doing anything that would require me to do that. It was sort of a last resort solution.”

Laughter easily flowed through between them, the tension almost all but gone. Lia had to admit that it felt nice, forgiving someone and being forgiven back. 

Memories of that night where Monika asked her to talk things out with Hyowon flashed through her mind. Well, at least she got her wish. Even though it was in the way she had least expected it to happen. Funny how she had mended things with Hyowon right when her very relationship with Monika was still murky. 

“Would you change your mind if I insist that you try and reach out to Monika first? Because you and I both know that you wouldn’t hear from her unless you tell her to.”

Lia hesitated at that. If Monika wanted to show how sorry she was, then she had to do it herself first.

Hyowon continued before she got a word in, “I’ve always known how much you guys meant to each other. It pained me to admit then but I knew that you two were the literal definition of soulmates that I have ever encountered in my life. Maybe that’s why I went a little crazy, because I knew that I would always be the poor girl that will never be loved back. Not to turn this into a pity party, sorry, but, my point is, the love that you guys have for one another is one of a kind. It’s the kind of love that you only have once in a lifetime. Don’t let go of it just yet. Because this love, well, it’s worth it.”

“Even if I get my heart broken again and again?” Lia choked out. Damn these feelings and her uncontrollable tears. Hyowon knew how to hit the right spot.

“Yes, because the only one that could fix that broken heart is the very person you’re so afraid of hurting you.”

It was a stupid logic, but Lia couldn’t help but agree. She knew that the only one who could ease the pain she had been feeling would be the one who was causing it in the first place.

Lia didn’t have the words in response to that. She sniffed as a tear fell on her cheek, bowing her head when she felt it. She didn’t like how vulnerable she must’ve looked right now. 

“Think about it, okay?” She didn’t miss the soft and empathetic tone of the woman in front of her. A tissue was offered to her and Lia took it in silence. 

She could only laugh as she wiped her tears, embarrassed that she was almost crying in public. In front of a former adversary, no less! Although adversary might be a strong word, well, she didn’t exactly have the word to describe what Hyowon was or is to her right now.

Lia just wanted to stop these damn waterworks.

“I will,” She said after a few moments, after she had collected herself, “Don’t expect anything, though. But I’m going to seriously think about what you’ve said.” Lia offered her a small, grateful smile, letting Hyowon know that she meant it.

“That’s all I needed to hear.” Hyowon gave her a smile back, and Lia could see the hope reflecting in her face.

But Lia knew all too well that she would just sit and ponder on it, because one thing about her is that her pride wouldn’t just make her give in. Although if Monika wanted to reach out and talk to her again, Lia knew that she was ready to give her a chance.

She just hoped that Monika would do just that sooner rather than later, because Lia was tired of crying herself to sleep every night.

Although tonight, after the talk she just had with Hyowon, she was sure that it would be a whole lot different. 

Knowing that all wasn’t completely lost, she finally, finally allowed hope to bloom inside her. She could finally be free from the crushing feeling of this heartache she had felt for almost a week.

Chapter Text

“Holy shit— did you suddenly take up a side gig in catering? Why is there so much food here?” Hyowon exclaimed as she burst out of her room.

Monika shrugged and simply answered, “It’s for Lia.” hoping it was enough clarification for… all of this.

She barely got enough sleep the night before as she tossed and turned, her mind busy with thoughts of Lia and how to win her back. Monika knew that Lia all but told her to leave her alone, but she couldn’t just sit idly by. She felt compelled to do at least something, anything , for Lia while simultaneously trying not to complicate things even further.

So she rose at precisely four in the morning with a clear mission. Now, nearly five hours later, the kitchen was in disarray, with dirty dishes piled high and ingredients scattered around. The dining table was also filled with all sorts of dishes on large Tupperware containers. 

Seeing Hyowon’s reaction made Monika realize that she might’ve taken things a bit too far.

Well, there’s no turning back at this point. It was all or nothing, she thought.

“She finally talked to you?” Hyowon asked in what seemed to be disbelief and amazement. Something about her tone intrigued Monika, but she was too preoccupied to figure out what it meant right now.

“No… I just wanted to do something nice for her.” Monika explained as she shrugged. “I won’t even tell her that it’s from me.”

“I’m sure she wouldn’t figure that out.” Hyowon deadpanned, the teasing in her tone was not lost on Monika. “Why don’t you just ask her if you could talk to her?”

“Because! I’m not sure she’d listen to me right now. I still want to give her some time to cool down. This is the only way I could think of that wasn’t directly defying what she told me to do.” Then her voice turned sheepish as she added, “And frankly, I’m still part scared and part ashamed to face her.”

“Well, what if she throws all of these in the trash if she finds out that it’s from you?” 

She would be lying if she said that that possibility didn’t occur to her. While it would be disheartening if Lia did do that, Monika’s main goal was to make Lia feel that she’s still cared for, regardless of whether Lia would accept them or not.

“It would suck, but that’s really not a concern for me. What matters most is that she knows that someone is still doing nice things for her.” Speaking of nice things, “That reminds me,” Monika waved Hyowon over, “I need to make a quick call. Keep on stirring this until I get back, okay? Don’t let it burn!”

Without waiting for an answer, she dashed into her room with her phone, leaving Hyowon and her dumbfounded expression in the kitchen. She immediately dialed the flower shop that she had looked up earlier, the one that delivers near Lia’s office. 

Once she finished placing the order, she stepped out of her room to finalize and pack everything up to get it ready to be delivered to Lia’s office. Monika was more than thankful that she had befriended Lia’s secretary before (and one of the few people who knew her relationship with Lia), so she was able to coax her boss’ schedule out of the young woman, and whether she’d be in her studio that day.

It also made things easier for Monika since she could just let the secretary handle the package without having to explain anything. There’d be no questions asked as well.

Monika exhaled in slight relief as all of her plans for today seemed to be going smoothly, and all she needed to worry about is whether it’d make Lia even more mad, or at least make her less upset with Monika.

She was fully and completely hoping for the latter.

“Good morning Ms. Lia.” Avery, one of her admin staff snickered in greeting as she stepped out of the elevator. She looked more cheerful than usual, Lia thought. Something good must’ve happened to her.

Lia was a little envious, if she was being a little honest. 

It had been three days since that talk with Hyowon, three days, and she still hadn’t heard from Monika yet. Even though Lia told her to give her some space, she still expected Monika to do something by now, especially with the woman’s stubborn nature. Lia knew Monika would still find a way to reach out to her or something.

It bothered her far too much than she’d like that Monika was being awfully silent. It had put her in a snarky mood since then. 

“Good morning.” Lia replied, mustering a small smile even through her crankiness.

As Lia made her way to her office, she strolled past several cubicles and caught sight of some employees casting her bright-eyed looks, sharing giggles and whispers among themselves. They greeted her just as Avery had done earlier. 

Had some divine force just bestowed good news and blessings upon everyone else while leaving Lia in the dark? 

Given her track record, she wouldn’t be surprised.

She internally sighed and plastered on a fake smile and sped up her walk. She couldn’t wait until she was in the safe confines of her office and away from all these cheeriness. Lia knew it wasn’t their fault, but to see that she’s seemingly the only one feeling this miserable… Well, it made her feel even lonelier.

When she finally opened the door to her office though, her entire body froze.

The conference table in the middle of the room was overflowing with all sorts of items. Lia saw a package that was elegantly draped in a silk cloth and tied beautifully into a ribbon. It looked like it could contain lunch boxes or God knows what. It was massive. It seemed enough to feed at least twenty people. There were also two huge baskets of flowers, which were the ones that made Lia’s jaw drop down a bit. One basket showcased a lovely pink and white arrangement, featuring a delightful mix of carnations and orchids, while the other was a stunning display of vibrant red roses. It dominated the space on the table with the sheer size of these floral arrangements. 

And with only one way in and out of her office, Lia could only assume that anyone who was here when it was being delivered had seen the spectacle. Given how grand these flower arrangements were, it was pretty hard to miss.

And Lia was all too aware of how quickly office gossip spread like wildfire. 

Lia groaned internally. Was this the reason why everyone suddenly looked giddy and giggly? Because someone seemed to be woo-ing their boss? 

Her secretary came into view then, immediately telling her in a low tone that “someone” dropped it off for her, and wanted to relay a message to say that “they were thinking of her”. 

With how the young woman looked at her with those teasing eyes, Lia knew all too well who that “someone” was. Her secretary was one of the few people who was aware of her true relationship with Monika, which she still thought was true up to this day. Perhaps she thought that Monika was just making a huge romantic gesture for her girlfriend.

Lia nodded in acknowledgment, letting out an appreciative small smile towards her secretary, careful not to show anything that might clue the girl in that something was amiss.

“I see. Well…” Lia stepped further inside to inspect the ribboned gift and untied it, revealing the containers of what seemed to be a variety of side dishes. She also saw a small folded note on top of it, which Lia immediately took and kept in her pocket. She’ll read it when her secretary is out of the room.

Perhaps she might send her on an errand right now.

“Can you grab me a few from each of these dishes then share the rest with everyone outside? I’m afraid it might be physically impossible for me to consume all of this by myself.” Lia chuckled, hoping that it didn’t sound as fake to the woman as it did to her ears.

“Of course, Ms. Lia. I’ll just go grab a plate for you from the pantry.” She said, still with that teasing smile on. Lia wanted to sigh. 

When Lia was finally alone, she stood there in silence and took everything in. From the food that Lia was sure that Monika prepared personally, and to the beautiful flowers that gave color to the monotonous design of her office. She went closer to it and extended her hand to gently feel the soft petals. Lia felt entranced by its beauty.

Then, still in a daze, she took out the note from her pockets, and opened them. 

What was written inside made her heart clench. 

My dear Lia, 

I hope these small gifts bring you comfort and wrap you in warmth that I, myself can not personally give you at this moment. I’ve prepared all of this with you and only you in mind. I wish that you feel the love in every bite of the food I especially made for you, and I hope these fresh flowers make your day even brighter. 

I hope this brings a radiant smile to your lips, and I wish I was there to witness it and see it blossom on your face once again.

Perhaps, one day.

With all my love.

Lia realized that Monika didn’t specifically say it was from her, but, well, she didn’t have to. The only person that could make her feel this way with only her words, was none other than Monika. 

Sure, the woman could be a little cheesy, but Lia couldn’t care less. Lia knew that Monika only let this side of her known to a very select few, and Lia felt fortunate that she was one of them, despite how upset she still is at the woman.

And she is. Still upset. Because no matter how sweet the letter was, all Lia wanted was for Monika to properly talk this out with her. To hear her apology and to just mend their relationship.

After her conversation with Hyowon, Lia had a few days to calm down and reflect. She found that she was ready to finally accept Monika again, if the woman ever found the courage to face her. 

Also, she also couldn’t help but think about what Eunji said to her a few days ago. 

Perhaps she had been a little haste for cutting Monika off just like that, because Monika wasn’t just anyone. She was the love of her life, the person she had longed and yearned for since God knows how long. 

Lia should’ve known by now that Monika was worth all the heartache. If history ever repeated itself and Lia ever ended up torn to pieces, then that’s a risk she was willing to take. 

It was better to put herself out there and open up her heart, experience all the good and bad, as long as it meant being with Monika.

If only Monika would come to her senses, then all of this would’ve been over.

The next day, she was greeted by the same thing. Only this time, the boxed meals had downsized and it now seemed fit for one person only. Monika probably realized that yesterday’s meals had been too much for Lia alone. Lia couldn’t help but chuckle at the image of Monika coming to this conclusion. 

Although the quantity of the huge baskets of flowers had stayed the same, today was of a different arrangement. They’re hydrangeas and pink roses this time, and it was still as beautiful as the ones from yesterday. Lia wondered if these flowers had some significant meaning behind them. She might have to look it up later.

(When she did look it up, what she found made Lia’s heart yearn even more. Most of the flowers signified expressing regret and conveying apology.)

And just like yesterday, there’s another handwritten note along with it.

My dearest Lia,

Someone told me that you’ve received everything well yesterday, and I hope that this little birdie wasn’t lying and was just consoling me, or else this would’ve been a little embarrassing. Perhaps it’s because you’re unaware of who I am, right? Although I’m torn whether to reprimand you for accepting food from strangers, or being elated that you’ve accepted my gift surprisingly well. 

Anyway, I hope you don’t mind that I’m sending you another one. I wanted to convey through these gifts that there’s not a second that I ever stopped thinking about you. 

With all my love.

Lia couldn’t control the smile that broke out of her face, but that joy quickly faded when she realized that Monika still hadn’t directly apologized, no matter what she found out about those flowers.

She groaned out of frustration and almost dialed that beautiful idiot’s number to fix this herself.

But no, Monika needed to realize all of this on her own. 

The next few days unfolded in a similar manner, with Lia being greeted by cheery employees, some of whom had teasing smiles on, and then a new set of meals and flowers adorning her table.

Lia even got worried for a moment, afraid that Monika would reveal herself if she wasn’t being careful. They still have to keep whatever they had going on a secret, at least after the show was over. The last thing she wanted was for Monika to be involved in even more drama, especially with everything going on.

So far, everything had been discreet, and her notes had remained anonymous.

However, her office looked more and more like a flower shop as days went by. No one dared to comment on it, to Lia’s relief. She wanted to be annoyed because there was barely any space left to move around, but damn it if it didn’t make her swoon every time she looked at the gorgeous arrangements that decorated her office.

The letters were sent everyday, too, even though Lia had yet to respond to any of them. And everyday was as heartwarming and beautiful as the previous ones. Lia stopped expecting Monika to discuss everything or apologize through those letters and just accepted it for what it is. Especially with how much it made her heart flutter.

Still, it was a bit frustrating that she hadn’t heard from Monika directly yet. 

On the day before they were set to film the final episode of the show, Lia finally had had enough and wrote back to her and had them delivered through her secretary. The girl was confused at first, then Lia remembered that she was supposed to know who the sender was. Lia just explained that there had been handwritten letters along with the gifts so she just wanted to reply through this way at least once. The young woman nodded understandingly, even saying how sweet they were.

Oh, if she only knew what Lia’s real intentions were.

As far as Monika was concerned, she was unaware that Lia knew who she was, so she used this particular knowledge to try and make her plan work.

Hi.

Thank you for the beautiful flowers and delicious meals that you’ve been sending to me everyday, without fail. I have to admit that being greeted every morning by these gifts has become the highlight of my day.

I wish I knew who you were so I could properly thank you in person. And while I can not respond to your calls of love, at least not right now, I still want to meet you to say how grateful I am for the effort you’ve done to cheer me up.

Hoping to hear from you soon,

Lia

If there’s one thing that’s consistent about Monika, it was that she could be insanely possessive and jealous. If Monika somehow knew that Lia was responding to another secret admirer like this, there was no way that she’d just let it be. Perhaps this could finally give Monika that push to talk to Lia. 

It was a bit manipulative on her part, but this was the only way that Lia knew that would make Monika snap out of it.

And so she waited, and hoped for the best.

The day of the much-awaited final live show came, and Monika was ridden with nerves, coupled with excitement and a little bit of anxiety. 

And no, it wasn’t because of the competition or her performance later. She wasn’t worried about that, because despite her personal issues, Monika was still able to thoroughly prepare for her performance with Bada. And she was confident that her contestant would no doubt kill it later.

No. It was because she’d meet Lia again for the first time since that day she met her in front of that restaurant. And because she was finally going to try and talk to her today, and do her best to win her back.

Monika had a plan. Much like the week before, she intended to send her flowers and a well-cooked meal today, which she had already delivered an hour before they were due in the studio. 

The only difference this time was that she finally put her name on the note that she put in there, revealing her identity.

To say that she was surprised when Lia’s secretary told her that Lia had delivered a letter to her would be an understatement. Monika never heard back from the woman for the whole week so she never really knew how Lia liked the gifts. She was only getting her information solely from her secretary, and even though she was being reassured that Lia kept the flowers and ate her food, Monika was still skeptical.

And so when she read the letter from Lia, it finally made sense. 

She had no clue that Monika was the mystery sender.

Monika didn’t know what to feel then. Initially, she was glad that Lia really valued the gifts and it made a positive impact on her. Lia’s happiness was first and foremost her priority, so Monika was ecstatic that that part of her plan worked.

However, the realization that Lia was open to meeting up with a potential suitor hit her like a ton of bricks. Given the way Monika wrote those letters, there was no doubt that Lia knew what the sender’s intentions were. A sudden, hot feeling washed over her. Sure, it was ridiculous, being jealous of herself, Monika was all too aware of it, but the thought that Lia might be interested in someone else gnawed at her.

It hadn’t even been too long since their breakup, and now Lia seemed to be trying to meet up with another admirer. Was she ready to move on so quickly? 

That thought filled her with sudden rage, and that’s when Monika knew that she had to tell Lia that all of it was from her. She had also decided that she’d finally try and talk to her. Lia already seemed to be in a better mood and Monika would like to assume that it was because of what she did, so maybe when she finds out that it was actually from her, surely, Lia’s anger for her would have to have faded, even for a bit, right? Perhaps it was the best opportunity to finally explain everything to Lia, and with a bit of luck, get back together with her. 

Monika just hoped that it wasn’t too late and that Lia hadn’t moved on yet. 

As she arrived at the studio and into her dressing room, she saw that Lia’s door was closed. Whether she was already there or not, Monika didn’t want to know. She wasn’t sure how Lia would react once she knew that Monika was behind all of it, so it was best to avoid her for now.

Yes, she was ready to face and talk to the woman, but she had planned to do it after everything was done. If she talked to her before the show and it ended badly, Monika didn’t know if she’d be able to focus all throughout the program.

So she did her best to steer clear from Lia, even making sure that she was alone when it was finally time to get out of her room and walk up to the main stage.

Monika knew she wouldn’t be able to avoid her once she’s finally seated in her coach’s chair, but at least she’d be safe from Lia’s possible ire because they’d be in public and they still have appearances to maintain.

The moment she caught sight of the woman as she stepped into the main studio, a wave of emotions crashed over her, leaving her unprepared. It was as if time stood still, her feet froze in place, captivated by the breathtaking figure before her.

Lia couldn’t look more elegant and beautiful with her silky, long, black, dress, and her hair that was so straight as though not a single strand was out of place. And God, her face , the face that she had missed so much, Monika could almost cry at how gorgeous she looked at the moment. The room was buzzing with audiences and crews and staff running around, but all of it faded away as Monika’s gaze was locked on Lia. 

And then time seemed to stop when Lia turned her way, their eyes meeting across the room. 

Monika’s breathing seemed to stop as she held eye contact with the woman. She was so immersed with her that she saw even the slightest surprise in Lia’s face when she saw her, which she quickly schooled into a neutral expression. And then in a move that made Monika want to cry in relief and happiness, Lia’s lips turned upwards into a small smile, bowing her head towards her direction in greeting. The first positive interaction with the woman in a very long while.

She couldn’t help the uncontrollable grin that bloomed in her face even if she tried. 

She finally walked the short distance towards her chair, their eyes still holding contact. Monika’s heart pounded as she went closer, and when she was finally seated and within hearing distance, she greeted Lia properly.

“Hi,” Monika said softly, her voice barely above a whisper, “uh, I just wanted to say you look absolutely stunning today.” 

“You, too.” Lia offered simply, a little smirk gracing her features as she looked at Monika. 

Monika exhaled a sigh of relief. Her gifts seemed to really have done wonders to Lia, because this was the first time that she had smiled like this since they broke things up.

“I owe it all to my team.” Monika chuckled as she picked shyly on her sequined black dress. She had to admit that she looked and felt the most extravagant today. Her team seemed to have prepared well for the finals.

“Okay, remind me to thank them later.” Lia teased, and then her smile turned genuine, “And also…I wanted to say thank you . For the flowers and the meals. I wasn’t lying when I said that I appreciated them.” Lia looked serious then, her eyes seemingly searching Monika’s face. She seemed to be torn, like she wanted to say more, but she only said in a much lower voice, “But that doesn’t mean you’re off the hook.” Lia said, but not unkindly. Hope sparked within Monika.

Monika nodded, almost too vigorously, “I know that. But I promise you after this is over, I’m going to make everything right. That is, if you’re finally ready to hear me out.” she said, an optimistic smile on her face. She waited with baited breath as she watched Lia seem to regard her in silence.

And then all her nerves fell away when Lia finally, finally nodded, and whispered, “Okay.” and offered her a small smile.

They shared a quiet moment after that, both just looking and smiling at each other. Monika was sure that a thousand words hung between them, bursting to be spoken out loud.

Yet, all they could do at that moment was wait.

And wait they did.

A few minutes later, one of the producers told the room that they’ll start the show in five minutes. The first half of the show was the contestants’ mega crew performance, one of their missions for tonight. 

It took a good hour for all the contestants to perform, and after that, they were given a fifteen-minute break to change out of their dresses and gowns to their costumes for the joint performance. 

Her number with Bada was a contemporary piece, much different than what the contestant usually does. It was one of Monika’s favorite genres, and she was glad that Bada suggested they do something like it for the finals. They decided to go for an emotional approach and dance to a ballad, hoping that it could have a lasting impact on the audience. She wore a simple oversized white buttoned up and white pants for it, and her hair was in a low ponytail.

As they got back to their seats after the break, Monika’s jaw dropped as she saw what Lia was wearing.

It was a sleeveless ballroom outfit that exposed her toned shoulders and arms, the skirt was flowing on one side, and shorter on the other, showing off her honey-skin legs. And when Lia turned to the other side to speak with the other coaches, Monika’s eyes were blessed by the sight of the smooth skin of her back.

She looked absolutely ravishing.

Monika didn’t know if she should be excited to see her performance, or if she should be a little peeved that she wouldn’t be the one on stage with Lia.

They didn’t get a chance to talk much because they resumed the live program immediately. Monika was set to perform last, while Lia would be second. Good , Monika thought, she’d be able to properly watch the woman’s stage and still have time to prepare for hers later.

It felt like eternity had passed until Lia (and Eunji) were up. The stage had been decorated as though resembling a classical ballroom with tall, vintage white windows surrounding them, shown through the LED screens. There were also some overhead lights above, creating a warm and romantic mood. 

It was still dark, but she could see the silhouette of the two women. Eunji, the taller of the two, seemed to be wearing a black suit which was seemingly tailored exactly to her measurements as it looked perfectly snug on her. She also seemed to be wearing tall heels, despite being the “man” between them. Monika had to commend this modern take on ballroom, even though she wished nothing but to be in Eunji’s position right now.

And then the music finally started, the tunes of I Wanna Dance With Somebody immediately blasting, and the roar of the audience as they started performing echoed throughout the room.

Monika watched, entranced at the look of absolute joy on Lia’s face as she danced, and she couldn’t even be mad at the amount of skinship the duo were making. It was a ballroom dance, so that would be expected. She was far too focused on the exhilarated expression of the woman as she performed her heart out. Monika’s heart pounded to the beat of the music, and she could feel herself getting breathless at the wondrous sight of the love of her life in her element. She didn’t know it was possible, but she felt herself falling even more in love.

How did she ever let this woman slip through her grasp? Monika had never been determined at that moment to get Lia back, no matter what it takes. 

When the song finished and they took their bows, Monika didn’t waste any time jumping up to her feet and clapped for the woman. The smirk that Lia sent her way made her clap and smile even harder, too.

Then, one other performance later, it was finally Monika’s turn to be on stage. She poured her heart out, dancing with all her might as her mind focused on bringing the right emotion to the song, Dancing On My Own . The lyrics were pretty heartbreaking, making Monika shed a tear or two as she immersed herself in the music. 

And when the song was done, her eyes immediately sought the one woman she deemed to dedicate this dance to. What she saw made her want to run towards her and immediately take her in her arms.

Lia was clapping enthusiastically, and although she remained sitting, the woman had a proud look on her face, her eyes were glassy with tears. Monika saw in her peripheral vision how the other coaches were seemingly dabbing at their eyes as well, but she was too focused on Lia to pay them any mind.

It didn’t even register to her the deafening sound of cheers from the audience.

Her trance only got broken when the host addressed them and vaguely heard him ask a bit about their performance before turning to one of the coaches to ask for their feedback. It wasn’t Lia, regrettably. Monika would’ve liked to hear her thoughts.

But the host didn’t have to ask Lia, because as soon as she was back in her seat, Lia gave her a warm smile and whispered, “You did an incredible job. It was the best performance I’ve seen all night. Congratulations.”  

It was a simple compliment, but it held a lot of weight to Monika. She didn’t care if she didn’t take home the crown tonight, because those words alone were enough to make her feel like a winner. 

“Even better than yours?” Monika shot back playfully, attempting to shake off the overwhelming emotions threatening to come.

“Don’t push it.” Lia warned, her smirk growing. 

But before she could properly say thank you, she heard the other coaches looking over at her, getting her attention and telling her how she did a great job. 

Perhaps her team had a real shot at winning. It didn’t fully occur to her then, still high from performing and Lia’s attention and compliment, but now that she’d thought about it, they might really just win the whole thing.

And that hunch was right, because when it was finally time to announce the winners, Monika’s team came out in first place.

She couldn’t be more pleased.

With Bada’s ever growing fanbase and how she had always delivered masterful performances, there was no doubt that she was a top contender. And with Monika and Bada’s performance clip going viral on social media which her team excitedly told her during the break, she was sure that they had also caught the attention of the general public. The final winner was chosen solely via public voting, so her team winning wasn’t a question.

They were all standing on stage, with the coaches on one side along with the host, and the contestants on the other. When Bada’s name was called as the winner, confetti sprinkled all over them, and a flower bouquet was given to the contestants. A cash prize amounting to $20,000, was presented to the first placer through a huge cardboard that resembled a check.

She was too elated that they had won that she almost didn’t register Lia, who was standing beside her, speaking to her.

“Congratulations. You finally got my ass kicked.” Lia said close to her ear. Monika couldn’t help the goosebumps that she could feel rising on her skin. 

“What?” Monika, still in a daze, from that win or from the way Lia whispered in her ear—she couldn’t tell, asked in confusion.

“That’s what you told me, remember? What was it that you said, prepare to get your ass kicked, Miss CEO ?” Lia further teased.

Monika groaned, finally remembering that particular interaction. That day when they met each other again after years of not seeing the other. 

“God, that felt like a lifetime ago.” Monika chuckled, a little embarrassed at the way her words were thrown back at her. She thought it sounded intimidating then, but hearing them now made her want to cringe.

“I know.” Lia said, her expression turning wistful as she broke eye contact, her eyes staring into the distance. A smile that looked bittersweet graced her features. 

Monika badly wanted to know what seemed to be running through her mind right then.

“Second place isn’t that bad, either. You should be proud.” Monika said after a moment, and although it was meant to sound teasing, she couldn’t help the genuine smile she sent Lia’s way. 

But then, the host was calling her name, suddenly offering her the mic, catching her off-guard.

Oh, God, she wasn’t able to prepare a speech.

Well, here goes.

“Oh, uh, first and foremost, I want to extend my heartfelt congratulations to all the participants and coaches involved in this show. You all did amazingly well and in my eyes, we are all winners. This program ended up resonating with so many people, and I feel honored to have been part of this remarkable production. I am grateful to everyone, from our dedicated producers and cast and crew, and of course, to our wonderful fans who have led this show to where it is right now.” Monika paused and took a breath as she collected her thoughts. There was one thing she needed to say, something that she needed to address. It might possibly get her into more trouble, but to hell with it, Monika thought. 

This was more important to her. 

Monika glanced to her right, to where Lia was standing, and continued, “But I am most especially grateful to the person who had been the biggest support system to me, the person, that if it wasn’t for them, I wouldn’t be here right now, literally.” She looked at Lia directly then, recalling that pivotal moment where she intervened and fought for her to stay on the show, along with all the times she had helped her navigate this unfamiliar road. 

She could vaguely hear the collective surprised gasps in the background, but that didn’t matter to her right now. Lia seemed to look shocked as well, her mouth slightly agape and her brows knitted in concern. But her eyes sparkled with wonder, as though she couldn’t believe what was happening before her eyes. 

She didn’t look mad, at least—that’s a good sign.

“Only you and I both know what we went through, and even if there were a lot of bumps along the way, I’d gladly experience it all over again as long as you’re there by my side.” 

And then silence enveloped the whole studio, probably because of shock or confusion, but Monika only had eyes for Lia, and Lia seemed to only do the same, as she stood there unmoving, looking at Monika like she was unreal. The silence in the room stretched on for a few minutes until the host awkwardly laughed, and said, “Thank you, Coach Monika, for those sweet words. I’m sure everyone was touched by it.” And then quickly segwayed and thanked everyone, saying his goodbyes, and effectively marking the end of the whole show. 

Everyone around them finally moved, from former contestants joining them on stage, embracing and congratulating the finalists of the show. They all seemed to steer clear of them, whether it was out of respect or they’re giving them space or they’re scared to be involved in an awkward situation, Monika didn’t know and care, because she couldn’t be more thankful. 

Because it meant that she could finally initiate what she had planned to do all day.

“Do you want to get out of here?” Monika finally asked.

“That would be rude.” Lia said in a matter-of-fact way, her voice not sounding reprimanding at all. Her dazed eyes were still locked on Monika, her expression unreadable.

“Yeah, you’re right.” Monika sighed, disappointed. She wanted nothing but to properly talk to the woman privately but she couldn’t exactly drag Lia out of here against her will.

“But who cares? Let’s go.” Monika had no time to process Lia’s sudden decision as she grabbed her hand and guided her away from the crowd and down the stage, until they were out the main studio, quickening their footsteps until they reached their dressing rooms. Lia opened hers and pulled her inside.

“What was that all about out there? Are you seriously trying to get yourself into more trouble? You could’ve waited until the show was over!” Lia suddenly turned to her, irritation evident on her face.

Oops, so much for thinking Lia wasn’t mad at her.

“I’m sorry! It just… it felt right to me to say it at the moment. And I’m sick of hiding what I feel. I wanted everyone to know how important you were— are to me.” Monika explained, hoping Lia would understand. 

Lia sighed, as though she was tired of arguing anymore and just shook her head, “You really don’t understand how this industry works. If you anger the right people, they could ruin you. They might put you on a blacklist or… What if you never recover from this?” Lia said, the fear in her voice was clear.

Oh, Lia wasn’t mad at her. She was worried about her.

That thought just made Monika warm inside as she let out a giddy smile. 

“I don’t care. I’ve survived all these years without being in this industry anyway. I’ll be fine.” Monika reassured, stepping closer and tentatively putting her hands on Lia’s shoulders, squeezing her gently as though to calm her. “Stop worrying about it.”

“I can’t believe you’re sacrificing a career that a lot of people would die to have, just because of… because of…” Lia said, still confused as though what Monika was doing still didn’t make sense to her.

“Because of you? You have no idea what I’d be willing to sacrifice just for you.” Monika declared, her tone not brooking any argument.

It effectively made Lia relax, and though that worry still lingered in her expression, it seemed to make Lia drop the subject, as she didn’t say anything in response to that besides let out a huge sigh.

And with that, Monika decided to stop beating around the bush and finally say what she had been wanting to say for days now.

“Lia, can we talk about us?” 

Lia stopped for a moment, pondering as though she wasn’t fully done with the previous discussion, but then sighed once again and finally gave her a nod. She gestured towards the couch behind them, “Let’s sit.”

Once seated, Monika exhaled and began, “I know I have a lot of apologizing to do, for everything that I’ve done, for the way I handled things with Hyowon… I know that I shouldn’t have done what I did, for being so foolish thinking it was my job to fix another person’s problem. For making you feel like our relationship wasn’t important to me by carelessly making decisions without talking things out with you… In doing all those things, I hurt the person I care for the most. I hurt you . Something I had promised that I would never do again.” She sighed, shame filling her tone, “God, I don’t even know how to start making it up to you. But I’d do anything . Anything , if it meant that you’d be willing to give me a chance again. I know it’s shameless of me to keep asking for a chance again and again, but I promise that this will be the last time I ask for it.” She looked up, her eyes pleading with Lia, hoping and wishing her words finally got through to her.

But the way Lia looked at her made Monika nervous. Her face was still, so still, as she stared at Monika. She seemed to be contemplating as only her eyes moved all over her face, then suddenly, it stopped and settled on her lips. Monika saw the miniscule change in her expression, the slight widening of her eyes, the subtle yearning in them, and the small exhale through her mouth— an expression that she knew all too familiar with. Lia had often made that expression whenever she wanted to kiss Monika senseless.

Monika’s heart pounded in anticipation, thinking Lia would suddenly surge forward and kiss her, but then, she heard Lia finally speak. 

“Okay.” Lia said in a soft tone. Monika didn’t expect that she’d agree this easily that she thought she heard her wrong. 

“Okay? You’re giving me another chance? Like, we’re getting back together?” Monika asked, clarifying as an elated grin broke out of her face. 

Lia nodded with a small smile, and God, she couldn’t feel more fortunate that Lia had forgiven her this easily. Perhaps it was a great idea that Monika had given her space to cool down.

“Can I say something as well?” Lia suddenly said, her tone getting serious. 

“Of course. Unless you’re taking it back… then I’m not sure I’d want you to continue.” Monika tried to joke as she felt the tension filling the space again. She had to admit, the sudden shift in Lia’s tone made Monika anxious all over again. More often than not, when people wanted to say something in that tone, it always seemed to be bad news. Monika hoped it wasn’t the case here.

Lia let out a small chuckle at that, “No, it’s not that… It’s something I should have said a long time ago. I wanted to come clean about something before we start over.”

“Oh God, did you kill someone?” Monika joked further, and it earned her a slap in the arm.

“Do you want me to take back that chance? Be serious.” Lia warned, her eyebrow raising, but Monika could see her holding back a laugh. 

She didn’t say anything more and made a zipping motion across her lips.

Then Lia seemed to collect herself, her demeanor changing again, “It’s about the reason why I left all those years ago.”

“Yeah, it’s because of what I did, right?” Monika was a bit puzzled as to where this was going and why Lia was mentioning it now, but she let her continue.

“It was definitely the push that led me to make that decision. But that wasn't the whole story.” Lia exhaled, her hands fiddling in her lap as she resumed, “I… I was hopelessly in love with you.”

Wait, what? Monika’s jaw dropped right then. She wanted to say something as she opened her mouth, but nothing was coming out. She didn’t have to though, because Lia held up her hand, preventing her from speaking. 

“I had feelings for you, back when we were still friends, that’s why that situation hurt me more than it should. It broke my heart more than it should. And I couldn’t bear the thought anymore of staying and only being viewed as just a friend so I… left. I had to leave you and forget about you so I could go on with my life without this huge emotional baggage with me.” Lia said, her voice quiet but full of emotion. Monika could see the tears shining in her eyes. Her heart sank as Monika felt the hurt in those words.

“Lia, I had no idea…” Monika was too stunned by that confession to say anything more. All this time, all these years, and Lia felt something for Monika, and Monika didn’t have any clue? How self-centered could she have been that she didn’t see the signs of her own friend having feelings for her? 

Perhaps she was just naturally oblivious, as she recalled that Hyowon, her best friend and roommate, had feelings for her too and Monika was none the wiser. She really ought to pay more attention to the people around her.

“It’s okay, I didn’t expect you to know then. And it took me this long to tell you because I was kind of afraid of how you’d react. I thought you might hate me for leaving you at the worst time of your life just because I was selfish for having feelings for you.” Lia said, and Monika heard the guilt in those words. 

“Lia, it wasn’t selfish. You had every right to do what you did. I’m not blaming you.” Monika was quick to clarify. There’s no way that she’d let Lia feel bad about this.

Lia chuckled, but it just sounded sad, “I spent most of my life being scared and afraid of letting people get close enough to hurt me, because I didn’t want to experience what I experienced back then. I was scared of love .” Lia smiled, but her lips were trembling, “I was so scared of it, and yet… I couldn’t stop feeling it. Even after all these years, I couldn’t bring myself to stop loving you.”

“Lia—” Monika felt a tear drop on her cheeks. She didn’t realize she was already crying. 

“Let me finish, please.” Lia cut her off, “From now on, I’m going to do what I failed to do twelve years ago. I’m going to stay . Stay even if it gets tough. Stay, even if it gets complicated. I’m going to stay because the alternative… the alternative where you’re not in my life would be too unbearable for me.”

And it was all too much for Monika that tears instantly burst from her eyes, and she reached forward, gathering Lia in her arms. She clamored for her, hugging her tightly as though afraid she’d slip and be taken away from her again. Monika vowed right then that she’d do whatever it takes to be deserving of this wonderful woman’s love.

“I’m sorry, for ever, ever hurting you like that. I swear I’ll shower you with so much love to make up for the times that I had failed to give them back to you.” Monika said as she buried her face into Lia’s shoulders while cradling the back of Lia’s head in her hand.

She promised that there wouldn’t be a second that Lia would feel unloved for the rest of her life. 

Lia laughed softly, “You don’t have to do that. What matters is that everything is fine now. That you and I… will be okay. It’s all that’s important to me.”

To Monika, too, of course. It just made her a little guilty that Lia suffered all those years because of her. Because she loved her. 

“Just, let me, okay?” Monika sniffed, pulling away to properly look at her. Lia reached out and wiped away the tears that had stained her cheeks. Monika’s heart soared when Lia’s hand stayed and cradled her face.

Lia probably saw the look of determination in her eyes, because the older just sighed affectionately, and relented, “Fine. Just don’t go overboard.”

“Oh baby, you should expect nothing less.” Monika finally grinned as she teased Lia. While her tone might have sounded like she was joking, Monika was completely serious. When it comes to Lia, Monika would never settle for anything less than average.

That finally brought a smile to Lia’s lips, and the movement caused Monika’s eyes to be drawn down to it unconsciously. 

Her mouth suddenly became dry as a thirsty feeling came over her. Monika wondered if those lips tasted the same as the last time she had tasted her. Then those lips grinned, bordering in a devilish way. God, she missed those lips.

“Penny for your thoughts?”

“I want to kiss you.” Monika blurted out, her gaze fixated on the woman’s mouth.

The same lips that Lia had just sexily bitten, as though enticing Monika even more.

Monika wanted to whimper.

“Is this how you plan to shower me with love ?” Lia said teasingly, inching closer.

“Uh-huh.” Monika dumbly nodded, and without wasting any moment, she finally leaned forward and pressed her lips against Lia’s. As soon as she felt and tasted those lips again, the feeling of relief took over her. She was relieved that the storm was over, relieved that she was finally in Lia’s arms.

She was finally home .

But before she could deepen the kiss, there was a loud knock on the door.

“Lia, is Monika there?” Monika recognized Gabee’s voice. 

The groan Monika let out was so loud that she was sure that the producer heard it over the door. 

Lia just chuckled, pecked her sweetly one last time then said, “Ready to face the music?”

Monika wasn’t sure, but seeing Lia smiling this brightly again, and how she reached out and held her hand as though offering her support, Monika knew that she could handle everything as long as the love of her life was by her side.

So with a huge exhale, she answered.

“I am.”

Chapter Text

One year later 

“How did it go? Did you win?” Monika eagerly asked Hyowon as soon as the video call went through. She was driving, on her way to her dance studio when Hyowon suddenly called. Her friend was in Hong Kong at the moment, competing for this international dance event, marking her eighth overseas competition this year. With every competition, Hyowon had taken home the crown in almost every single one so far.

Monika was confident that Hyowon would be triumphant this time as well.

Sometime last year, Hyowon asked Monika’s permission about pursuing more opportunities outside the country. She said that there had been numerous invitations from event organizers flooding in, and Hyowon wanted to give it a shot. That’d mean that she’d be spending less time at their dance studio and away from home. While the thought of change brought a tinge of sadness for Monika, she ultimately felt joy for her friend's decision to prioritize her own aspirations. She assured Hyowon that she was fully supportive of her journey, emphasizing that she didn’t need her permission to do what she wanted. 

Now, Hyowon is on an adventure travelling the globe, winning competitions and gaining even more recognition and support from not only from the local community, but from people worldwide.

With her talent and growing fame, she might just be on the path to becoming a national treasure.

“What happened to hi, hello, nice to hear from you again, Hyowon ?” Her friend said as she laughed in response.

“Hi, hello, nice to hear from you again, Hyowon,” Monika sassed, lightheartedly rolling her eyes, “So, did you win?” 

Hyowon paused for a moment, hesitating, her smile fading as she let out a sigh. Oh, that didn’t look like good news. 

But then in a flash, her expression brightened and exclaimed, “Of course, I did! Don’t you have faith in me?” 

“I do. The judges are the ones I don’t have faith in. What if there was a racist one in the mix again?” Monika remembered the time Hyowon told her about an encounter with a judge who seemed to have a thing for the white contestants. Despite Hyowon winning the crowd that night, that one judge still voted for her opponent, who was a tall, blonde, European girl. Thank God the other two judges had some sense and still voted for her friend.

“Nope. No racist, sexist, misogynist, homophobic judge today.” 

Monika finally flashed her a smile then, and congratulated her, “It’s a good thing you won, otherwise I wouldn’t have let you come home if you didn’t.” she said, a playful lilt in her tone.

“We don’t even live in the same house anymore, you won’t be able to keep me out of my own home.” Hyowon deadpanned. 

The other thing that changed in their relationship was that they’re not living together anymore. As soon as their lease on the house they shared came to an end a few months ago, both agreed that it was time to move out and live separately. With both of their careers flourishing and their dance studio thriving, they were finally able to afford to rent a place without depending on one another. 

Plus, it was a huge help to Hyowon as she dealt with her remaining feelings for Monika. While they never stayed away from each other, being able to not live within closed quarters anymore allowed Hyowon to finally focus on herself and process her emotions in a more mature and healthier way. 

And now they’re here, each set on their own, respective paths while maintaining a good friendship and business partnership. It couldn’t be more perfect.

“I’ll figure something out.” Monika retorted, sticking out her tongue, “By the way, any plans tonight? Who are you going to celebrate with this time?” Monika wriggled her eyebrows suggestively, teasing the woman further.

Hyowon gasped, feigning offense, “Hey! I’m not going to do that again.”

“Come on, you can’t tell me you didn’t at least have a little fun? Besides, long-distance would suck. Maybe it was for the better.” Monika replied, still laughing as she recalled the time Hyowon had been asked out for some drinks at a previous competition in Thailand after her big win. She said that the woman seemed really nice and was so charismatic and they bonded really well during the event that Hyowon didn’t see the need to turn it down.

Well, it went so well that they extended the date in Hyowon’s hotel room that night, which she also described as one of the most mind-blowing sex she had ever experienced. However, the next morning, her friend woke up alone, left only with a note saying how much fun they had. She didn’t leave any phone number or other ways to contact her, so it was clear to Hyowon that what they’ve done was just a one time thing. It bummed her friend for at least a whole week. Monika had to keep taking her out to cheer her up and get her mind off of it.

“Says you. I would’ve made it work. And it was fun, that’s why I’m a little sad about it.” Hyowon said, still feeling a bit sulky about the whole thing. “But to answer your question, no. I’m just going to head back to my room tonight. Anyway, enough about me. I haven’t forgotten what today is! I think I should be the one asking your plans for today.”

Now it was Monika’s turn to look sulky. 

“There’s no plan. Lia said she had a very important schedule today that she couldn’t miss. Didn’t even say what it was, said it was a top secret thing.” Monika said a little dejectedly. She didn’t want to be mad because Monika was sure that if Lia could reschedule it, she would. After working in the industry for almost a year now, Monika understood the inner workings of the business, and she knew that more often than not, they have less of a say on whether you’ll work on that day or not.

“Oh, well, I’m sure she’ll make it up to you. It’s your first anniversary after all.” 

Monika sighed. She tried not to look disappointed, but it was hard. It would’ve been nice if they could celebrate the day together. 

She was already nearing the new building of her dance studio so she said her goodbyes to Hyowon, telling her that she’d talk to her later. 

As she finally parked and alighted from her car, Monika stood in front of her studio’s building, the building that they had just successfully bought with their hard earned money. It was just newly renovated, the dark gray paint still as fresh, and big, gleaming windows replacing the old, murky ones. 

Despite her earlier mood, Monika couldn’t suppress the proud smile that spread across her face as she looked up at the establishment. She couldn’t believe that just a year ago, they were struggling to make ends meet and were on the verge of losing their livelihood. 

That’s right, Monika reminded herself, there are plenty of reasons to smile about. Just because Lia couldn’t be there for their first anniversary didn’t mean she’d have to dwell on it all day.

So with a bright grin, she opened the doors and stepped inside. Monika was immediately greeted by the receptionist, who also occasionally served as Monika’s assistant from time to time (God, she has a receptionist and an assistant. This couldn’t be more surreal.).

Monika headed for the stairs leading to her office on the second floor. Since the space had expanded greatly, it was enough for her and Hyowon to have their own separate rooms, though they rarely ever use them as their busy schedules kept them away from the studio more often than not.

That's why they had both decided it was time to hire someone to assist them with managing the operations in the academy. They’d be in-charge of coordinating with guest instructors, talking to their in-house choreographers and organizing the class schedules.

The candidate they selected was Monika’s recommendation. Hyowon, having full faith in Monika’s decisions, had decided to go along with it. I trust your judgment , Hyowon had said when Monika proposed the idea, and then added with a chuckle, Besides, the last person I trusted turned out to be an evil mastermind, so I don’t think I’m the right person to recommend someone. 

Monika disagreed, of course. Hyowon had every right to choose someone if she ever wanted to. But in the end, Hyowon insisted they go with Monika’s suggestion and let it be.

“Afternoon, boss. I’ve been waiting for you!” 

And there she was. The moment Monika opened the door to her office, Eunji was already settled in her chair seemingly working, the computer open with the Excel sheet that they used for filling up the class schedules. 

Indeed, Monika had hired Eunji. The same Eunji that Monika had often butted heads with, the source of some of her disagreements with Lia almost a year ago. The very same blonde dancer on Lia’s team. 

A lot has changed in the past year. 

The way it happened was pretty simple, actually. A few days after the final show, Lia and Monika were enjoying a peaceful evening in Lia’s bed when Eunji’s name came up. Lia mentioned that it was one of the things that she wanted to express, as part of her effort in letting everything out in the open thingy. 

She revealed that Eunji confessed that she actually had a crush on Lia, which made Monika growl in anger. Lia quickly reassured her, explaining that Eunji had actually helped her realize that rekindling her relationship with Monika was worth it. Although Monika was still hesitant about her, she had to admit that she was a bit touched when Lia shared that Eunji believed that she and Lia were a match made in heaven.

Since then, she and Eunji had met each other a few times, thanks to Lia inviting the blonde to do regular classes in her studio. At first, their interactions were filled with awkward small talk, but when Monika had let her guard down and allowed herself to relax around the blonde, a genuine connection between them began to form. 

The three of them easily became friends. Whenever all of them were in Lia’s studio all at once, they’d hang out and share a pizza together. Monika even extended an invitation for Eunji to also teach at her dance academy.

And then after a few months of being friends and working together, Monika saw how Eunji was not only exceptionally talented, but she had an incredible work ethic as well, which Monika had really admired. So, when the topic of this job came up, it was a no-brainer that Eunji would be the perfect person for it.

“Why? Missed me?” Monika teased. 

Eunji rolled her eyes but with a fond smile on her face, “I’m not going to answer that because I don’t want to lose my job.” she chuckled, “I just need you to check something with me in one of our private dance rooms. Something about the floor being too slippery. Some students had complained and said that it was hard for them to dance, especially with heels on.”

That was definitely news to Monika. When they renovated the space, she had ensured everything met the highest standard. Lia had even assisted in selecting the right materials to use during the construction period, drawing from her own personal experience in constructing a dance studio.

And she just had a class in that room a few days ago. Monika hadn’t noticed it being slippery. Well, to be fair, she was wearing rubber shoes at the time so she probably couldn’t tell.

“Alright, let’s take a look.” Monika said. Perhaps she needed to see it for herself.

Eunji led the way to the room, with Monika following closely behind. This particular studio was reserved for instructors needing privacy to develop their choreography or for high-profile clients seeking exclusive dance lessons. Unlike their other rooms, it was completely enclosed, lacking any glass partitions for viewing.

So when Eunji opened the door and Monika stepped inside, she wasn’t prepared for what she saw inside the room.

The previously empty room was decorated nicely with string lights hanging on the wall, pastel-colored balloons floating on every corner, and delicate flower petals scattered across the floor. A line of flickering candles created a path, all leading to the main attraction of the room. 

In the middle of the room stood a table with two chairs that looked like they were plucked right out of a cozy restaurant.

Everything looked beautiful and romantic, but all of it was incomparable to the most breathtaking sight Monika had laid her eyes on.

The person standing right there in the middle of the room.

“Lia! What are you… I thought…” Monika stammered, caught off guard at seeing Lia. 

And perhaps it was the way Lia looked at the moment that got her stuttering. The woman was wearing a suit that made Monika’s knees weak, while holding a beautiful bouquet of flowers. The combination was enough to make her heart flutter.

“Aren’t you happy to see me?” Lia teased, chuckling at Monika’s shocked expression.

“I am! But I thought you had a very important schedule going on today?” Monika was still confused. 

“I do.”

“What happened? Did it get canceled?”

Lia chuckled again like it was amusing that Monika was asking these questions. Did she actually miss something or…

“No.” Lia simply answered, still giggling. Monika would’ve been annoyed if only she didn’t look so adorable.

“Then what’s going on? Why are you here?” Monika grumbled impatiently. 

Lia rolled her eyes as though Monika was being stupid or slow or something, “ This is the very important schedule, Monika.”

And then Lia was moving, walking towards Monika, and said, “Happy anniversary, my love.” then handed her the flowers.

Oh .

“Oh my God! So that was just a ruse? Just to surprise me like this? That’s not fair.” Monika said, pouting a bit. She wanted to be the one to make a grand gesture like this, but she couldn’t even plan for one because their schedules never lined up.

“Why? Don’t you like it?” Lia asked, her grin warm and affectionate. Ugh, Monika couldn’t stay mad if her girlfriend looked this charming. 

“It’s not that. I wanted to plan something like this for you. You totally beat me to it.” Monika finally admitted.

She heard someone chortle behind her.

“Boss, I can’t believe you’re treating this as a competition.” Eunji laughed, playfully teasing her.

Monika glanced over, “What are you still doing here?”

Eunji gasped in mock outrage, “After all the effort in making this surprise a success? Not even a simple thank you ?” 

“Not sure if I should thank you for that. You’re working for me . You should be on my side.” Monika smartly replied.

“Cut her some slack, I was the one who convinced her to do it. The blame is all mine.” Lia interjected, grabbing Monika’s hand to get her attention again, “You can surprise me next year. Just give this one to me, please?” Lia added, her voice sweet and her lips pouting cutely. Monika wasn't really seriously upset, but if she had been, it was definitely enough to make her waver.

“Fine.” Monika huffed, but when Lia grinned at her brightly, she couldn’t help the smile that bloomed in her face in return and said, “This is beautiful,” she gestured around the room, “Oh, and happy anniversary, too.”

Then Monika pulled Lia closer to her by putting her right hand at the woman’s back, while the other was stretching toward Eunji’s direction, handing her the flowers so it wasn’t standing in the way between them. As soon as her hand was free, she wasted no time in cradling Lia's face, finally capturing her lips in a fervent kiss.

Monika kissed Lia as if she were parched, savoring her lips like a refreshing drink, consuming her with an insatiable thirst. Their kiss deepened, filled with passion, until a soft moan escaped one of them—Monika couldn’t tell who it was—just as Eunji’s loud throat clearing broke through the moment.

“Hey, you two, don’t get carried away, okay? Remember, kids use this room. Keep it PG.” She heard Eunji say, but Monika was too lost in the kiss to care.

Not when Lia was kissing her like this.

Monika made a shooing motion directed towards Eunji, and soon after that, she finally heard, “Have fun, moms.” and then the door was closing shut, leaving the two alone.

As soon as the blonde left, Monika slid her hand from Lia’s back down to her girlfriend’s ass, giving it a squeeze.

That got Lia to burst into laughter, breaking the kiss. 

“That’s not very PG, Miss Shin.” Lia teased, her voice slightly raspy and low, probably a result of their heated kiss. 

Monika’s thoughts were definitely far from being appropriate especially with the way Lia looked at the moment— her lips were a beautiful shade of pink, swollen from Monika’s kisses, her cheeks flushed and her eyes hazy with unmistakable desire.

“Eunji’s not the boss of me.” Monika breathily replied, then as if to prove her point, she latched her lips on Lia’s neck, nipping gently on the skin.

But it just made Lia laugh even more and gently pushed Monika away. “Later, my love,” Lia said, “the steak isn’t going to eat itself.”

Monika smirked, “Right now, there’s something more appetizing to me than that steak.” 

Lia just shook her head at her and guided her towards the table where a bountiful meal was laid out before them. 

The table showcased a bottle of luxurious red wine, plates of steak with creamy-looking mashed potatoes and greens on the side, a bowl of red pasta and a basket of garlic bread. The table was also decorated with candles and flowers on its centerpiece, creating a delightful ambiance.

Monika marveled at how impressive and romantic everything looked, from the vibe of the room and up to the dishes prepared. It was clear that Lia had thoroughly prepared for this special occasion.

“Since I couldn’t give you a romantic dinner in a real restaurant, I just brought the experience to you.” Lia explained as she pulled the chair back and gestured for Monika to sit. The vision of Lia in a suit and helping her on a chair was definitely swoon-worthy. 

“It’s okay. This is a hundred times better anyway. Private and I get you all to myself? What more can I ask for?” Monika said as she sat on the chair.

When the official news about their relationship had first become public, it had been the talk of the town for at least a month. With all the drama surrounding them, they were often swarmed by reporters and fans whenever they were seen outside together.

So for the past year, they had been doing their dates in Lia’s home, or rather, their home since Monika finally moved in with her after living separately with Hyowon.

Thankfully though, the issue or news about them had finally calmed down, and there were less and less people terrorizing them on the daily. But even so, they had still opted to spend time together in private just to be sure.

So, even on their first anniversary, it had also made sense for them to do it in a safe, private space. 

“You’re such a flatterer. Please never change, you’re too good for my self-esteem.” Lia deadpanned as she took a seat in front of her. 

“Hey, those aren’t flattery. I’m actually being sincere about it.” Monika defended herself, but her tone was light, as though she couldn’t keep her happiness from seeping through.

“My point still stands. You’re still good for my self-esteem.” Lia chuckled, then sighed wistfully, “God, I can’t believe it’s been a year since that day.”

“A year since I dropped a bombshell on national television?” Monika smirked as she recalled the events of that day.

The day of the finals of the show they did together last year. The day where they got back together after a bad breakup, and the day where they had fully opened up to one another and understood each other better. It marked the beginning of their journey toward becoming better versions of themselves and, as a result, building a healthy relationship. So they decided to celebrate that day as their anniversary.

Sure, it wasn’t all moonlight and roses, they still fought, and they still went through some hard times, but they weren’t something that they weren’t able to fix together. Because they had learned to communicate better and become more open with their emotions and thoughts, their relationship had never been stronger than ever.

“Yes,” Lia answered, rolling her eyes, “you should thank your lucky stars that everything still worked out.”

And it did. After their dating scandal had been publicized, the positive reactions greatly outweighed the negative. A lot of people celebrated their relationship, saying how they were a huge inspiration and wished for their happiness and urged them to live their lives however they wanted. Dedicated fans of their pairing even made a huge effort in protecting them from malicious comments and people harassing them online.

Because of it, it had put both Lia and Monika in the spotlight. Tons of brand deals that also supported the LGBTQ+ community reached out to them, and they were both even given another reality show about dance where both of them were the host.

And now, they had basically become household names in the country, and work never stopped for them, which Monika couldn’t be more grateful for.

“This is why you should have a little faith in me. I told you I’d be fine.” Monika smugly said, even though both of them knew that they barely made it out alive.

“It would’ve been bad if we didn’t take care of Aiki. She was ready to spread more lies about you. Branding you a cheater and all. Thank God Hyowon cleared everything up and reassured everyone that you and her are just friends. And she also got Aiki to shut up for good.” Lia said, a tinge of irritation in her voice. Seemed like this was still a touchy subject for her.

Remember when Hyowon said that she had something on Aiki? Turned out it was a video of Aiki doing drugs. Hyowon blackmailed her with it and told her that if she didn’t leave them all alone, Aiki would find herself in the news along with that video. Ironic, right? What goes around truly comes back around.

“See? Everything still worked out in the end.” Monika said. Lia was about to protest when Monika continued, “And all of it was possible because you were there by my side.”

Hyowon wasn’t the only one who did something about Aiki. Lia had been so mad when she found out about what Aiki did to Monika that she immediately made some calls to some powerful friends in the industry and warned them about Aiki. It seemed to be effective because she had never seen her appear in any broadcast unlike her peers from the show. Not only that, Lia also contacted some huge dance academies, urging them to ban Aiki from teaching in their studios.

They never heard from that woman ever again, and their lives had never been more peaceful.

Lia just sighed, but her face still looked affectionate, “Good save.” 

Monika gave her a loving smile, then playfully said in a mock-serious tone, “So don’t you dare leave me, okay?”

Lia pursed her lips, and teasingly replied, “Well, that’s entirely up to you. Are you going to break my heart, Monika Shin?” 

Though it was said lightly, Monika knew all too well the weight of that question. 

“I’d rather die than do that to you ever again.” Monika declared, her voice filled with determination.

“Then that’s settled.”

Lia rose and reached over, giving Monika a tender kiss on the lips. A kiss that promised a love that, while not entirely perfect, it would be everlasting. 

A promise of forever.