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The winter we do not share

Summary:

- When winter dyes your raven hair silver and your gaze contains the proximity of the sunset... I am sure that I will no longer be in your life. I so want to share with you all the moments that I know you long for and that I will never be able to give you. My heart, from the very moment I knew that I was to blame for my father's death, was given to humanity, to my dream or to both for that matter. I deeply regret not being able to give you my life, but I will leave my death in your hands if the time comes. I will not abandon you until you are ready to let me go, no matter how hard it is to endure all this... I will resist until you ask me to. But when that day comes, remember that after winter spring returns... Maybe in another life, we will be able to live all the seasons together.

Levi could only do one thing after those words... He slowly brought his face closer to his and kissed his lips.

- Then shut up that huge mind of yours and let me enjoy what's left of summer... extend autumn as long as you can... and stay with me until fucking winter comes... Be completely mine tonight as I will be forever … just for tonight… give me your heart.

Notes:

Welcome to my first eruri fic! I haven't written in a while so I hope I'm not too rusty. I very much appreciate your support and the comments you can write.

This fic is dedicated to Isa Isa from the show Fangirl Generation, which you can find on YT and Spotify

I hope you enjoy this humble work!

this is a traduction to english with online translator. sorry :(

Work Text:

The weak beam of dawn light appears through the humble window of the room, without reflecting even the slightest speck of dust in its path. “I can still do a decent job” is what the owner of the place thinks, who had spent the last week working on the small house in order to leave it impeccable for his visits.

 

Levi Ackerman was not a very sociable person, he wasn't when he was young and he wouldn't be now in his fifties, which was precisely the reason the meeting had been arranged in the first place. Today, December 25, was his birthday and the change of decade for him, reason enough for all the brats (because they would always be brats to him no matter how big they grew like trees) to make a fuss about celebrating and coming to visit him. this day. Levi complained, saying that it was a stupid waste of time for Paradise's most important people to leave the island only to end up drinking tea across the sea, but everyone was completely stubborn about it.

 

It was not the first time that the brats insisted on coming to visit him, on more than one occasion each one showed up at his door bringing news and a small present, as well as sharing the happiness of their new peaceful lives with their newly formed children. families. The furniture in the living room was littered with small picture frames with countless little babies and wedding souvenirs that would soon use up the available space. His last acquisition was the photo of Mikasa's little newborn, one that he honestly didn't expect would one day happen but that actually made him as happy as the one from his wedding the year before.

 

He and Mikasa shared something in common, they had both lost the most important person in their lives and while no one in Paradise, or the world for that matter, could say that they hadn't lost someone important, their case was... special. , to say the least. He didn't know whether to blame his Ackerman's former blood or his innate stubbornness, but living without his most precious being him never became easier and he knew that for him to move on must have been extremely difficult, as It was even for him.

 

He could excuse himself and say that it was because, in the first place, it took him quite a few years to get out of the damn wheelchair he was confined to after the last battle and his mind and body were completely devoted to it and rebuilding. But the old chair was no longer a convincing excuse, since it had been a long time since I needed it except for those extremely long walking trips. So his new excuse was his appearance, his mutilated fingers, his cut and badly scarred face along with his blind eye were not something that really mattered to him nor did it prevent him from socializing for that matter, but it was believable enough for the brats. They would stop bothering him by introducing him to the new neighbor across the street or the new owner of the cake shop in the neighboring village. Except for Gabi, the damn girl had become more insistent than ever after her marriage to Falco, as if her new goal in life was to see the portrait of him and a random man decorating the huge white wall of his living room. And as much as he adored the girl he had to say that he wasn't sorry to disappoint her, because that would never happen...

 

This year the Museum of Memory had opened in Paradise, which was the reason he had reunited with his entire former squad in the first place, in conjunction with Marley's former warriors, a few months ago. At first he had not wanted to attend, politics had never been his thing and he knew very well how the Jeagerists had distorted Erwin's image to make it seem that he would have supported them... "Erwin... he would never have allowed any of that damned hell of “It would have been done more than a decade ago.” The point was that this museum featured not only a memorial to his fallen Legion comrades, but also a special section entirely dedicated to his thirteenth commander. Hange had not been so lucky, both sides repudiated her as the organizer of the attack on Liberio and a traitor to the Jeagerists, so the common point of both sides was to omit her from said tribute. And while this was reason enough to send the invitation to hell and go about his daily life, Jean had been actively working on this and had been very insistent that he had to attend because only he could judge whether he had done a decent job capturing the commander's legacy.

 

The place had been impressive, it was enclosing the old military cemetery in its center and surrounded the tombs of fallen heroes with four floors. A few years ago, when the construction process began, they had moved Erwin's tomb to the center and erected a huge scale statue of him riding his horse towards the final charge at Shinganshina, with his single arm in the air now directing the countless tombstones of former soldiers to a future they would never know. The work, completely white and immaculate at the beginning, had undergone countless acts of vandalism to date, from appearing covered in animal blood as if scratched with different messages of hate and even destroyed on the left side of the abdomen just as it had been murdered. Even, on one occasion, he saw how they had placed the heart of an animal in his hand, staining his arm with blood and writing insults on his face, denouncing his well-known harangue to hand over his hearts. That had been, he recalls, the turning point for him to personally meet with Queen Historia and demand to move the commander's remains to Marley along with him. Although publicly these were still at the memorial, the truth was that they were perfectly hidden in the backyard of their home in a tomb much more humble than its counterpart in Paradise, but immaculately clean and safe from further desecration. Erwin had endured all that shit of hate and insults his entire life, he wouldn't allow him to continue enduring it in his death.

 

The truth was that Erwin Smith was loved and appreciated by the vast majority of the island, but both the former military police and the Jeagerists made enough of a racket that Levi decided not to expose him or Erwin's memory to this anymore. new political battle. For better or worse, neither the Jeagerites, nor the queen, nor Marley nor Levi, for that matter, will ever know what Erwin Smith would have done in today's politics because he had taken that option off the table that fateful day in Shinganshina.

 

He had no regrets... now less than ever that he could see clearly how after the war only more work, pain and the undeserved hatred that always accompanied him would have awaited his commander. No… now he could rest peacefully under the white lilies that Levi watered sacredly every afternoon.

 

The memorial included countless personal items from every soldier who had given their lives to both uncover the truth and stop the rumbling. Something that had deeply moved Levi had been the section before Erwin's, where a room was dedicated entirely to talking about his father and how his discoveries inspired the commander. Levi knew very well that more than inspiring they simply destroyed any possibility of a normal life for both him and Erwin; But if that conversation with his son had never happened, he would never have joined the Legion nor would he have gone down to the damned underground city and met Levi. He is sure that Erwin would have really been moved to see the memory of his father valued and that is how Levi felt too.

 

The fourth floor was completely dedicated to the life and work of the thirteenth commander of the legion. How they had managed to fill an entire floor with his memories when Levi had only owned a box of memories of his lover in his entire life was something he still couldn't explain. At first, he felt overwhelmed, after years of having nothing but Erwin's necklace on his nightstand and then, from one second to the next being surrounded by everything that had ever belonged to this man, it had been too much. He remembers that Gabi and Falco sat him in the damn wheelchair while Mikasa and Armin looked for water and a handkerchief to wipe the sweat on his forehead. A few minutes later and now more recovered, he dedicated himself to traveling through the old notes of strategies and meetings that clearly had his handwriting reflected in them. He was followed by mannequins with different uniforms and clothes that he had worn in life and that Levi had agreed to donate because although he still kept one of each of them in his home, he did not need to have the five sets of all of them collecting dust in his small room. The black formal suit that Erwin used to wear and the jacket that Levi kept asking to borrow were not on display, at least not as part of it, since Levi was wearing that very jacket today over his gray silk shirt and Black pants. He wanted to look similar to how Erwin had seen him in those days, even if the old suit did little to hide his limp, crippled hand, and mangled face. Still, he was sure that wherever Erwin's spirit was now, he would smile at the sight as if he were blind to all the changes that had occurred to his skin over the past few years.

 

There was so much to see that Levi spent practically the entire day there, Jean had done a majestic job portraying Erwin at different important moments in his political career as if he had been present at all of them. The boy had an impressive talent, it was a waste that someone like that had dedicated his youth to war. Seeing his lover's perfectly blue eyes staring at him from all directions was the closest he had been since he last saw them close. On the central wall, there was a large painting at least three meters high and ten meters wide, with a beautifully carved golden frame that contained the veterans in their formal uniform, the one that was only used for galas in the Royal Palace. More than 50 people were in this box, in the center of it were Mike, Nanaba, Moblit and the smiling Hange that Levi lost when he assumed command because of him. He looked at Jean doubtfully, knowing that Hange was a point of contention in the political arena, but Armin assured him that since it was not something dedicated exclusively to her memory but to fallen veterans, it would be considered an insult and a bad political maneuver to exclude Hange, since the truth had to be told no matter how horrible it was. Levi smiled at the young new commander, who seemed to have inherited Erwin's cunning and intelligence along with his gaze. He continued analyzing the painting and of course he was excited to see his entire squad present, not only Petra, Erd, Gunther and Auruo, but also all the cadets of the 104th including Sasha and Eren. Also, and as it was a special request from Levi, were Farlan and Isabel, who, to be clearly painted by the words of his worn memories, had a striking resemblance; In the center, of course, was the man after whom this room was named. Erwin stood majestically, with his gaze fixed straight ahead with determination, determined, with both arms and whose right hand was resting firmly on the left shoulder of the Levi in the painting, who was the only one who did not look towards the spectators but towards the commander's blue eyes. It was a subtle way of saying that Levi's cause was towards Erwin; It could even be interpreted as something romantic if he was careful, but that, like art, was left to the interpretation of the viewer. For those who knew the truth, it was impossible not to notice the homage to the true nature of their relationship, and Levi appreciated it. Because although they never had the opportunity to share a wedding or a portrait together, they had been a couple and it was truly endearing that someone could capture that in a memory that would last so many years.

 

Jean had given him a book with a small copy of each portrait and object in the memorial; he rested on the small bookcase next to the tea table in his living room, with a bookmark marking the section dedicated to the commander. He had endured his trip back to Marley by caressing his portraits and kissing the bolo necklace that he always carried with him when he left his home. He had begun to forget Erwin's face and it was something that hurt him deeply, like admitting that he could no longer remember his voice, so he was infinitely grateful that he now had something in his hands that would prevent him from forgetting him despite the passage of time. time and the wear and tear of your memory.

 

Returning to the present, he knew very well why everyone had been so insistent about visiting him on this specific birthday. While the fact that the decade was changing was a valid enough excuse, the truth was that being surrounded by memories of Erwin, and then returning to his lonely home, had been a bit depressing and he hadn't hidden his emotions as well as he thought. by overextending his trip to the island and finding lame excuses to visit the memorial again and again. Therefore, they had organized this whole scandal, saying that it would be like when they were cadets and they would camp in their yard, make a bonfire and tell stories. “Like when the commander was still alive ” was the phrase hidden within all this, but he was grateful for the company and affection that he did not believe he deserved.

 

Taking a break from cleaning and considering that the place would be completely trashed in less than an hour, he stripped naked and took a warm shower. The cold water was no longer good for his tired bones, and the cold 3-minute military showers now turned into a luxurious daily half hour of hot water and spiced soaps. “Erwin would have loved these moments…” They only had hot water in winter and after heating each bucket for an hour to fill the small tub they shared after the expeditions. They always took a quick shower to wash the dirt and blood off their bodies and then let themselves rest in the tub in Erwin's room for hours, until the water was too cold and their bodies began to shake. How many times have those showers ended in passionate kisses and subdued moans against each other's skin? Perhaps the same number of times he ended up with Erwin's face hiding the pain for his fallen comrades in his pale chest. The devil, as he used to call himself after believing all the lies that were shouted in the streets about him, was nothing more than a child trying to compensate for an evil he never wanted to cause, staining the hands of the man he had become. more and more until it damages his sanity. Levi would hug him then, bringing him back to hell with him... until the day he no longer had the heart to do so. Erwin had considered himself selfish, but if anyone was selfish of the two, it was Levi, who when the time came to put humanity and the peace of his beloved in the balance, opted for the latter... He never had anything, and every time he possessed something ended up tragically being taken from his hands; His mother, his friends, his squad. That was Erwin's favorite excuse not to give their relationship a name, to never say that it belonged to Levi... that he was destined to die and that he didn't want that pain for himself. So much brain was wasted on discovering the famous truth and he couldn't make it work to know that not saying the fucking words wouldn't make Levi suffer less when his fatal fate finally arrived.

 

He remembered very well their last private conversation and his thoughts that night; It had been shortly after he had threatened to break his legs to prevent him from going to Shinganshina. It was night, they were in his room after returning from sharing with the soldiers and they were arguing heatedly like never before since their initial quarrels had passed. Everything in Levi's life was a matter of strength, if he wanted something he fought for it, he fought until he got it, it was easy to steal something from someone who didn't deserve it... But Erwin... How could he take it away from humanity if they needed it? so much?... So he simply had to keep fighting until he got it back and that would only be when he fulfilled his dream... Which turned out to be saving all of fucking humanity! Something impossible in more than a hundred years is what prevented him from being able to recover the heart of his beloved and finally... Finally and once and for all it was just Levi... He was tired of sharing it... He didn't even know if there was Something about Erwin that hasn't already been taken from him then.

 

Then Erwin, the dramatic and intelligent Erwin, had confessed his dream; The sin he committed against his father, the truth he desperately wanted to prove, the sins he then committed in its name, one after another, until they accumulated in the back of his mind and in his hands. Surprised, he saw the sacred figure of the god that he had built for years crumble and leave only the imperfect man before his eyes... and the more he had loved him for it.

 

 

-Are you telling me that if I take you to that fucking basement, your heart will finally be mine? -he had asked then.

 

-My heart is yours... But I can't give it to you until I pay for the sins I have committed Levi... How could I...? How would I be worthy of being happy at your side when I am the one who has led so many to death...? I don't deserve it Levi, not yet... I can't...

 

-Do you know how I know you are a good man Erwin? I grew up and lived surrounded by demons... And believe me when I tell you that not one fucking time did any of them lament for worse atrocities that you blame yourself for... That's the difference, it hurts you to do it, but you're willing to everything to achieve your goal. For years I believed there was a master plan, something darker behind your persistence, but it turns out it was just the cry of a little boy trying to atone for a mistake that cost him the world... Do you realize? Other men long for fame, wealth, power, but you... You just want to be sure that the words your father died for are true...

 

-I have disappointed you...

 

-On the contrary... You have impressed me, I knew I was following the right man, but now I am absolutely certain of it.

 

Erwin laughed, in that way that only Levi knew, but then the sadness returned to his face.

 

-This path will probably prevent us from growing old together...

 

Levi froze in place. Erwin, on the other hand, gently caressed his face and guided him upward until their gazes met.

 

-When winter dyes your raven hair silver and your gaze contains the proximity of the sunset... I am sure that I will no longer be in your life. I so want to share with you all the moments that I know you long for and that I will never be able to give you. My heart, from the very moment I knew that I was to blame for my father's death, was given to humanity, to my dream or to both for that matter. I deeply regret not being able to give you my life, but I will leave my death in your hands if the time comes. I will not abandon you until you are ready to let me go, no matter how hard it is to endure all this... I will resist until you ask me to. But when that day comes, remember that after winter spring returns... Maybe in another life, we will be able to live all the seasons together.

 

Levi could only do one thing after those words... He slowly brought his face closer to his and kissed his lips.

 

-Then shut up that huge mind of yours and let me enjoy what's left of summer... extend autumn as long as you can... and stay with me until fucking winter comes... Be completely mine tonight as I will be forever … just for tonight… give me your heart.

 

They had never been passionate; In the beginning, kisses and caresses were enough to leave unspoken the feelings they did not want to admit. Then, in the chaos of the fall of Wall Maria and Erwin's new command, their bodies sought solace in each other and convinced each other after each mission that the other was fine, safe, still living and breathing. It was never a question of animal desire, but they also did not have the time or the mind to fully enjoy the act rather than perform it itself because they needed it to heal their souls.

 

But that night was different, deep down I believed that they both already knew that it was a farewell, so it no longer mattered that each one showed their vulnerability or that the entire barracks heard their moans. For one night, neither humanity, nor the titans, nor the fucking basement existed. They undressed each other slowly, Levi's hands shaking like the first time they did this, while Erwin's single hand struggled to do the same, both embarrassed and upset like never before at his recent disability. Levi simply kissed him harder and removed the rest of both of their clothes. They took the time to admire each other, illuminated only by the moonlight framing their bodies, engraving them in their memory.

 

Levi laid back on the bed spreading his legs as a silent invitation to his lover to join him. They continued kissing until they were out of breath and then did it again and again while their hands explored each other's bodies as if they hadn't done it hundreds of times before. Erwin knew perfectly every sensitive point of his body better than any military strategy of his own; After all, Levi had only shared his body with him, so they learned to know his body together. Erwin kissed his neck, leaving sensitive marks from his teeth until the moans escaped his mouth, not containing them for the first time in their history between the sheets and letting, despite his initial embarrassment, his lover finally hear them freely... No with your fist containing them or with the pillow suffocating them. He could feel how quickly Erwin had become aroused by it, his cock hard as a rock and already releasing the first hints of his wet arousal staining one of his thighs. Quite a novelty, since in general stress always caused the blonde to have difficulty becoming completely aroused and it required a little effort on his part to reach his full splendor. He remembered fondly how embarrassed he was the first few times his erection had gone out midway and how he had asked for his forgiveness. Levi then reminded him how patient Erwin had been with him due to his inexperience and the traumas caused by growing up in a brothel and in the underground city; How many months Levi left him wanting when halfway through a memory from his past appeared in his mind and hit Erwin in the face or he simply didn't feel ready to move further.

 

Levi was not far behind, caressing the blonde hair and massaging the firm buttocks while urging him to bring their bodies closer until their erections were touching. Erwin kissed every part of his chest, his abdomen, his legs, taking his time until he finally reached where he needed him most; His mouth and his tongue did an exquisite job of giving his the first orgasm of the night as an animalistic scream came from his mouth. Then, taking advantage of his post-orgasm relaxation, Erwin adjusted them so he could begin to prepare him for the next thing. Levi loved everything about Erwin, his hair, his eyes, his perfectly marked body, his enormous bearing, but everything about him was large, proportional to his body and in conjunction with his own short stature made penetration into his intimate moments a challenge. topic to consider. The black-haired man was not afraid of pain, he had grown up being his constant companion, but the blonde did not want his intimate moments to be stained with the past, so he always tried to prepare him as best as possible within the limited time they had for their nightly activities. Levi, in turn, intended to hide his discomfort when it hadn't been enough, in favor of being able to feel the other's body before duty claimed them both again. But the times when they could take their time, Erwin prepared him slowly, kissing his forehead and his face, whispering words of adoration that at first embarrassed him and that now he longed for. Before, he used his right arm to stimulate his member while with his left he prepared it one finger at a time. Under the current circumstances, Erwin settled behind his back leaning on his right side while Levi turned his face towards him and the commander's left arm prepared him while Levi caressed himself. Of the two, Levi was the less active participant, he considered the entire act a complete display of vulnerability and his survival instincts developed over years did not allow him to fully surrender… Until that night. When four fingers were already penetrating him without mercy and his neck was beginning to hurt from kissing Erwin's lips in this pose, he decided that that night he would be the one to show how much he appreciated, loved and desired his commander.

 

In a quick movement that surprised the blonde, his back met the sheets while his partner's pale hips surrounded his, rubbing against the completely hard erections and drawing guttural moans from both of them. Levi noticed the surprise in the blue eyes and was happy to see that expression on his face, so he continued exploring the other's body as far as his height allowed him with kisses and bites that, along with the marks of his nails on his back. and chest, they would decorate each other's bodies even days later. Without stopping to look at him and with a sensuality that was not typical of him, he guided Erwin's erection against his body and began to slowly introduce it until his hips collided, taking the breath away from both of them.

 

From then on, they let themselves be carried away by the pace their bodies demanded, slow at first, accelerating later, stopping to catch their breath and not finish too quickly, starting the cycle again and again. Levi's thighs burned from the position he was in. One of the reasons they never fucked before a mission was because it was literally and figuratively a pain in the ass to ride the next day for him and Erwin always wanted him at his best so that nothing would distract him from the battle. But with everything at stake tomorrow, he doubted that the pain in his legs and hips would be enough of a distraction to distract him from his objective. Hange's jokes about having heard them, being his room neighbor, the next morning and all the way to Shinganshina, would be unbearable enough to make him forget any physical discomfort.

 

-I'm close Levi... you love me so well... I don't deserve you... I love you so much...

 

That was the first and only time that Levi heard those words from Erwin's mouth and, as if it were a command, the black-haired man accelerated the pace of his hips while shouting that he also loved him again and again between moans. hoarse and increasingly wild growls. They ended up together, each calling out the other's name like a mantra, letting the whitish evidence cover Levi's insides and Erwin's abdomen with its heat. Exhausted and after cleaning themselves, they settled down facing each other on the bed while Erwin wrapped his only arm around Levi's torso and let his face rest next to him. Levi began to gently massage the golden hair that caressed his chest, but then, he clearly noticed how the light filtering through the window illuminated a pair of hair completely white as snow on the sea of gold. He carefully plucked them and showed them to his owner.

 

-It seems winter has come to your hair...

 

-Forgive me... I beg you... Forgive me... Because I know that I will never see winter cover yours...

 

They both looked at each other, the gray eyes containing the regret of the impending future goodbye and the blue ones no longer able to contain their guilt and shedding silent tears down their cheeks.

 

Levi fell asleep that last night surrounded by his warm embrace, praying in vain to any god in existence to allow him the mercy of knowing a future where he could see winter cover his beloved's hair. As Erwin had said, perhaps in another life, they would be able to live through all the seasons together.

 

There were more white strands, hidden in the night, that decorated Erwin's hair when he abandoned his corpse in Shinganshina.

 

He swore right then and there that he would make sure the beast titan never lived to have any.

 

A couple of knocks on his door brought him out of his trip to the past, he quickly got dressed while shouting for them to wait for him. Mentally berating himself for wasting time on the past, he looked in the mirror before leaving when he noticed thin silver strands falling over the bangs on his forehead. Winter had come for him too and as they both correctly guessed, Erwin wasn't here to see it. A few tears escaped his eyes as he leaned against the sink, hiding his face from the mirror. He wanted to scream, like years ago when alone in the bedroom he shared for years with his loved one he cried for his loss, until Hange came in and comforted him in his arms. The knocks sounded again on the first floor, being more insistent this time.

 

-DAMN PATIENCE!! I'M OLD, NOT DEAF DAMMIT!!

 

Forcing himself to postpone his grief, he walked away without looking at his telltale reflection in the mirror and prepared to enjoy the present as much as possible, without thinking about what could never be. As soon as he opened the door, he was greeted by the reproaches of Gabi and Falco, followed by the greetings of Mikasa, Armin, Annie, Reiner, Pieck, Historia, Jean and Connie, all accompanied by their partners and children, who were already making a fuss. disaster in your garden with your games. Among them, a little boy with blonde hair, an aquiline nose, and eyes big and blue like the sea, ran into his arms to greet him effusively, jumping towards him and trusting that Levi would catch him. He always did it.

 

-Uncle Levi!!! Tell everyone what you told me!! Tell them I'm your favorite!!!

 

-I thought you said you knew how to keep secrets, Erwin?

 

-So you love us less Uncle Levi?

 

A sea of teary eyes surrounded the former captain; If he didn't do something soon, his birthday would turn into a sea of childish complaints.

 

-If I didn't love them all, I don't think there would be sweets hidden in the kitchen, although maybe they aren't as smart as I think to find them.

 

In an instant the tears turned to bright eyes and a wave of children of different hair colors and sizes rushed towards her home.

 

-I'm really sorry captain, my little Erwin still hasn't learned the importance of keeping secrets, it's my fault I think, I have instilled in him the importance of the truth so much that I have neglected that other part.

 

An embarrassed Armin apologized while Annie tearfully took her godson from his arms and scolded him severely. In the background, he could hear his kitchen being vandalized and probably had to say goodbye to finding his teaware intact.

 

-If the worst thing that telling a secret can bring to this peaceful world is the complete destruction of my kitchen, I think you have all done an excellent job creating it. Come on, everyone go to the patio, light the bonfire before it gets too cold to be outside.

 

The happy conversation accompanied them as they entered their home; Shortly after and sneaking away from the commotion, Levi took out from among his books a small candy lollipop that he had hidden and secretly handed it to little Erwin who was sobbing in his favorite chair.

 

-Shhh, calm down Erwin, you're still my favorite, now dry those tears and go play with the others.

 

With a kiss on the chubby cheek and a quick caress messing up the blonde hair, the blue eyes extinguished his crying and his owner ran enjoying his lollipop towards the lateral garden. The rest of the day passed peacefully, they chatted while roasting food on the fire with the children's laughter in the background. Levi joined them after a new wave of crying threatened their party, so he chased them as best he could with his cane until his leg reminded him that the reason for this party was precisely because he was too old to do this. . He sat to rest next to Erwin's grave, caressing the cold stone while the children asked him to tell them stories of his time in the Legion, which he then proceeded to do, obviously softening the story and exalting the importance that each of his parents had in history. His godson, especially, loved as much as he did hearing about Erwin and everything that had to do with horses; He was planning to give him one on his next birthday if Annie would let him. The relationship between the two had been strained for a long time, but when it was she and not Armin who named her first male child Erwin, Levi knew that there was no room for more resentment toward her in his heart. It was Annie's beautiful way of asking for forgiveness for killing his squad by naming the new life in his womb as the man he still loved. Levi immediately offered to be his protector, to which Armin laughingly responded that they no longer needed it, but that they could happily consider him the godfather of his son. Since then and every time the distance allowed it, he dedicated a large part of his retirement money to pampering that little boy who ensured for one more generation that his Erwin's gaze would remain alive.

 

Meeting again, they shared tea and whiskey or a mixture of both to better pass the beginning of the frost, completely forgetting their morning discovery until Connie mentioned the new gray hair that adorned his hair and that, apparently, Jean had noticed. in their last meeting on the island. Noticing the tension in Levi's expression, Jean asked his partners to take care of the children while they delivered the birthday present to the captain inside their home. Continuing the game and a little discouraged, he accompanied them to the living room, where his enormous white wall above the children's portraits was desecrated by a cloth-covered painting waiting to be revealed. He immediately looked guiltily at Gabi, who vigorously shook her head that she was responsible for her.

 

-If it is a gift from some new suitor that you found for me, I swear that I will make you destroy that painting with your teeth and repair the wall.

 

-It's not Gabi's fault, captain - Jean interrupted the conversation before the misunderstanding escalated - the truth is that this is not even a gift from us... rather it is an order.

 

-A commission? But from who? The only ones who are not here are Onyankopon and Yelena, but they were perfectly able to give me their present the day before yesterday before they left on their trip.

 

-From the commander sir

 

-From Armin?

 

-No, from Commander Erwin.

 

 

He tried to maintain his composure, reminding himself that these young people loved him and would never do anything with malicious intent, but his heart was as old as his body and he couldn't stand this kind of joke.

 

-Look... I'm too old to put up with nonsense, if they were still soldiers I would have beaten each one of them. Don't doubt it! You can't just come here and joke about...

 

-It's not a joke, Captain... the commander entrusted me with this the morning we left for Shinganshina, he was very generous with the payment, I had never seen such a heavy bag of coins, he expressly asked me to do it only if you survived and lived in peace. He even asked me to wait until the right time if possible.

 

-What a moment?

 

-His words were… until winter begins to cover his hair.

 

Quickly, as if possessed, Levi walked towards the painting and, taking out the greenish cloth, he impatiently revealed its contents.

 

Again, as if it were a deja vu of what happened at the memorial, Armin and Mikasa approached to prevent him from falling, and this time he didn't mind being surrounded by people, his eyes let a couple of tears fall down his cheeks. The painting was a portrait of them as a couple, both Erwin and Levi were dressed in casual clothes, but what stood out was that they were both old, even older than Levi himself was now. Erwin's hair was white as snow, like He never got to see it and in turn, him was completely silver like his lover would never see.

 

In the corner of the painting there was a note on yellowish paper that was once white, written in that handwriting that I would not forget even in a hundred years; it was read in front of everyone:

 

“I give you the winter that we did not share, along with the heart that always belonged to you.

I love you and I'm sorry I didn't tell you enough. I long to believe in a spring where we meet again and

I can finally make it up to you. No matter how you change, or what wonders are hidden beyond the walls,

you will always be the most incredible and most precious thing that crossed my eyes.

 

Finally, only yours, Erwin Smith.”

 

 

 

-Finally mine eh? How long did it take you idiot... You and your enormous gestures of sentimental nonsense...

 

When he managed to calm down and stop shaking, Levi hugged Jean and each of his boys, even kissed their foreheads and ruffled their hair like he did with his little ones. After the basement, Levi believed that only gray and unbearable days awaited him; They were, in fact, for a long time, but here he was today surrounded by loved ones and a whole new generation of brats who wouldn't grow up with weapons in their hands or hunger in their stomachs. None of them would feel the guilt that Erwin's sanity was taken from them nor would they suffer the pain of losing absolutely everything about Levi. He did not know how long the peace for which all his friends gave their hearts would last, but he hoped that at least these little ones could witness it until the end of their days. He wanted to see it through his eyes, these young adults giving in more and more to inevitable old age, seeing their lives advance as they had done until now and enjoying days like this one over and over again.

 

Because if after the hell they both shared he had found this piece of heaven... then he believed, without a doubt, that after winter spring would return.

 

When his time came… and when they finally met again, he would share all these precious memories with Erwin. Until then... He would live... and Erwin in the memory of him next to him. Just as his last gift portrayed him.

 

-I will go through the winter that we do not share... And I will see you again in spring.