Chapter Text
nothing about what you and billy hargrove had was genuine. you were simply convenient. when you needed release, he was there. when he needed to blow off steam, you were there. no expectations, no explanations, no questions, just the two of you on and in each other. that’s it.
that was supposed to be the case anyway.
anyone with two eyes could see billy’s emotional unavailability. he fucked . that’s it. hell, you were lucky if he kissed you after your clothes were in a heap on the floor. he didn’t do romance, period.
that was fine for you, at first. you’d come out of a relationship. you were lonely and frustrated and hurt. you were in no position to want anything more out of your night together. it was hot and messy and definitive. it was just sex and that’s all you needed from each other.
to be completely honest, the way you were with him was different from the other girls he’d been with since he’d moved here. you didn’t just lay back and let him do the work. your hands weren’t reserved to only his shoulders and you didn’t go around bragging about it the second he finished.
you were in the moment with him. you were comfortable and unabashed with your wants and needs. you let your hands wander, and the mischief sparkling in your eyes as your nails dug into the skin of his ass wasn’t anything he’d be forgetting anytime soon. you weren’t satisfied letting him do all the work, making the effort to turn the tables and take what you wanted when you got bored of looking up at him.
you were vocal and honest in your intentions. while he did enjoy the attention he got, the whole cat and mouse game was quickly becoming bland and arduous. at least you were honest in wanting to get him in bed. you were just different- exciting and enticing in a way he hadn’t found in others.
so he stuck around.
you weren’t opposed to billy sticking around. you knew what this was. it was strictly physical. that’s all it was. until it wasn’t.
at first, he’d finish, smoke a cigarette, and be on his way. but as time went on, one cigarette turned into two and conversation moved from pillow talk to casual conversation. it was never too personal, the two of you agreed to keep family talk out of it. the only time either of you were to bring up relationships was if you started seeing someone romantically, and even then that rule was only made for your sake. again, he didn’t do romance.
the two of you were tangled in your bedsheets, lying side by side. he stared at your ceiling as he took lazy drags, his eyes shifting to your bare legs every so often. he’d gotten comfortable over these past few months, not rushing off after he came down a bit. the post sex haze still hung heavily in the room and, seemingly, would stick around for a bit if the way he was eying you was any indication.
he shifts, stubbing out his half finished smoke before rolling back over to you, his hands moving to your hips and gently tracing shapes into your skin. he shifts you closer, your hips meeting his, your thin sheets being the only thing separating the two of you.
your hands tangle into his hair as he begins peppering kisses along your jaw and down your neck, breathing in your citrus body wash muddled by your combined sweat and let out a groan.
“c’mere,” he mutters, scooting back only to move the sheets before he’s crowding you again, his sweat slick skin meeting yours.
“i don’t think i could get any closer,” you jest with a chuckle. he moves his head back, lifting one eyebrow with a smirk.
“oh, sweetheart,” he coos, his hand traveling from your hip to your thigh, lifting your leg over his waist. “you know thats not true.” he shifts his hips closer, drinking in the gasp that falls from your lips.
“billy, we can’t,” you ground out, hands contradicting your words and refusing to let him go.
“why? you got somewhere better to be?” he presses into you with a growl, his lips dangerously close to yours. “your little boyfriend expecting you?”
you roll your eyes, hips seeking his out as your hands scratch angry red lines into the smooth skin of his back. “he’s not my boyfriend,” you grit, eyes fluttering shut as his hips meet yours in a surprisingly gentle thrust.
he rolls the two of you over, his hands trailing up your arms and gently gripping your wrists. “hmm,” he hums, his teeth scraping over the skin beneath your ear. “i don’t think he knows that.”
this is the one topic you don’t like discussing with him. ever since he caught you and eddie munson hanging out in the halls between classes and after school, he just hasn’t been able to drop it. if you didn’t know any better, you’d think he was jealous.
“he definitely does,” you breathe, arching your back slightly, sighing contentedly as he presses his chest to yours, his weight keeping you happily trapped against the mattress.
one hand leaves yours to wander downward, his fingers digging into your plush hips with a moan. being with him felt like floating, like the two of you were so far removed from the world that nothing could get between you. having him hold you like this was a death sentence, one that fills your heart with dread the moment his eyes meet yours.
you should’ve cut this off weeks ago. that’s what you agreed to: complete honesty. your feelings changed, it wasn’t just casual sex anymore. it was you belonging to him, your heart being held in the palm of his hand with his name on your tongue.
you shake off your thoughts, gently kneeing his hip. he moves off of you without allowing much distance, keeping himself sheathed inside of you with an iron grip on your waist.
you figured he’d roll onto his back, just like every other time you’ve pushed him back like this, but he rolls onto his side without budging. he hitches your knee up further on his waist, nearly to his rib cage, his hand pressing into your lower back to push himself deeper. “he knows you’re mine?”
it takes you a moment to make sense of what he said, but your body reacts immediately, tensing around him with a whimper. when his words register, your heart stutters in your chest. you nod wordlessly. “all yours,” you promise.
it wasn’t unusual for him to get like this, staking his claim on you and making sure you know who gets to have you like this. he knows he’s the only one and he’s very vocal about it. it sends your heart racing every time, your fingers grasping at him with a building desperation. if only he knew why.
“hm,” he prompts, gently grabbing your jaw to get your attention again. seeing the lost look in your eyes, he presses his forehead to yours, his lips brushing ever so slightly over yours. “tell me what you need, sweetheart,” he repeats.
his hips roll into yours again, your hands reaching for his as your mind fogs over. “more,” you plead breathlessly, your eyelashes tickling his cheek. “need more.”
he moans and grabs your face gently, his icy blue eyes meeting yours. he rubs your bottom lip, biting down on his own as you take his thumb into your mouth. his head falls back as your tongue swirls around the rough and calloused skin, biting down lightly.
“god, fuck- that’s it,” he urges, his hips slowing as you moan around his thumb, drool beginning to gather at the edge of your mouth.
you release his thumb with a pop, mouthing down his hand and to his wrist. he clenches his eyes shut, his jaw tensing, and his hands gripping at the pillow behind your head.
things with you have always been more intense, and this isn’t the first time the two of you have taken things a bit slower, but the air is so heavy it feels like you could drown in it. his hand moves to cradle the back of your neck, leaning down and nipping at your throat.
“baby-“
“i know, sweetheart. i know,” he mouths at your jaw, biting down gently as his hands rest along your sides. you shake your head, your legs wrapping around his hips and pulling him closer. you grab his hand, pressing it against your lower stomach. “fuck,” he mutters, pressing down on your pelvis causing him to hit that spot just right.
he lifts one of your legs up to rest against his shoulder, adjusting his hand and reapplying pressure. you throw your head back with a broken moan, your hands releasing his wrist and grasping at any part of him you can reach, nails creating crescent indents in the skin of his waist. he dips his head down, his lips roaming over the expanse of your chest.
before long, the two of you are panting in sync, moans and groans reaching a volume that makes you thankful for your mother’s absence from the house. he picks up the pace, moving his hand down further to rub gentle circles into your clit.
you drop your leg from his shoulder, wrapping it securely around his waist before reaching up and pulling him closer. “closer.”
he huffs out a strained laugh, shaking his head and parroting your words from earlier, “i don’t think i can get any closer, doll.”
you tangle your fingers once again in his sandy blonde hair, tugging gently at his curls. “please, i’m so close,” you promise, your teary eyes meeting his.
he drops his chest onto yours again, his lips trailing up your neck and finally landing on your lips. it doesn’t happen often, but when it does it never fails to send you over that precipice, hurtling towards an all encompassing orgasm.
your reaction is immediate. the hand tangled in his locks falls to the one he has between your hips, your hand grabbing at his wrist to keep it in place. your hand squeezes his at the same time as your body goes rigid, your teeth nipping at his bottom lip as you fall into the pleasure only he can bring you.
he follows not too long after. his hand having been pushed away and moved to your side as to not overstimulate you. he emptied himself into you with a shudder, his lips not leaving yours until the both of you had completely relaxed. the feeling of your breath against his kiss bitten lips makes him shiver.
he moves your hair from your eyes before rolling off of you and back to the spot he occupied before, relighting the cig he’d abandoned before.
you roll over to him, snatching the lit stick from his hands and taking a puff of your own. would it have been anyone else, he would’ve been pissed. but it’s you, this is relatively normal.
you hand it back, letting out a wistful sigh as he puts it out in the ashtray. he looks at you curiously, raising an eyebrow at your blatant effort to ignore him.
he rolls his eyes when you let out another dramatic sigh, gently pushing you off his chest and lifting your chin to level your gaze to meet his. “what?”
“nothing,” you trail off, fingers dancing down his chest and to his stomach, drawing random patterns in his skin. “just wondering if you’re gonna stick around this time.”
he says your name in a warning tone, getting a laugh in response. you sober up quickly once you realize your position. your head is resting on his chest while his arm is lazily draped over your shoulder. this is too far.
you open your mouth to speak, to fess up and tell him that this can’t continue anymore, when the doorbell sounds, echoing through the house. you rush into some shorts, throwing on your rumpled shirt and make your way to the door. billy trails not far behind, buckling his belt and shrugging his shirt on.
when you open the door, you’re met with a mop of curly hair and big brown eyes. billy peeks out from behind you and smirks at the sight of eddie munson on your doorstep.
“hmm, not your boyfriend, huh,” he teases, squeezing past you and out the door, narrowly avoiding the smack you aimed at his bare chest. he makes his way past a flustered eddie, patting him on the shoulder as he waltzes to his car, buttoning up his shirt.
after a moment, eddie breaks the silence. “i take it you didn’t tell him?”
the glare you send in his direction shuts him up for now. he doesn’t bring it up again until the next day at school.
you were digging around in your locker, looking less than amused as you failed to find whatever it is you were looking for. he walks over, leaning on the empty cabinet beside yours.
“hey-“
“eddie. i’m not in the mood today.”
“woah,” he chuckles, lifting his arms up in surrender. “someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed.”
you give up on the book you were looking for, turning and slamming the door shut, sending eddie a glare.
“where’s your boy toy at?”
“ don’t know, don’t care.”
“mhmm,” he hums, an unconvincing expression on his face as he tries to hide a smile. “i’m sure you don’t. look, can i level with you?” at your nod, he continues. “i’d like to think we’re friends, we’re friendly enough, and this whole thing is obviously weighing on you. talk to him.”
you open your mouth to speak, only to be cut off by an arm snaking around your waist. “talk to who?”
you tense in his arms, all color draining from your face. eddie, on the other hand, lights up with a sinister grin. “you, actually.”
while you know you should be upset with eddie, you can’t find it in yourself to feel any resentment toward him. he’s been doing it your way for the past week and you’ve gotten nowhere. without this push, it would take forever for you to say something.
billy looks down at you, his expression patient but inquisitive. “can we talk?”
he nods. “c’mon, doll.”
you ignore the pat on the shoulder and thumbs up eddie sends your way as you follow billy outside. the two reach the camaro in silence, both of you sliding into the seats to evade the cold.
“what was munson going on about?”
“i don’t think we should keep,” you pause, searching for the right words. saying ‘seeing each other’ sounds too much like a relationship and that’s not what this is. you’ve done nothing but remind yourself of that. “i think we should stop sleeping together.”
he turns to look at you, eyes zeroing in on your fingers anxiously fiddling with the sleeves of your jacket. your body language is tense and rigid, your chest rising and falling at a rate that’s slightly quicker than normal. he nods, silence encapsulating the two of you for an uneasy amount of time.
“if that’s what you want to do, doll.” he knows how this next part is going to sound, internally wincing at how desperate he’s about to sound. “i didn’t hurt you or anything, right?”
that catches your attention, your eyes meeting his for the first time today. “no, of course not. it’s nothing you did, promise.”
he doesn’t ask anything else, just watches you expectantly, awaiting an answer. to him, this arrangement is too good to throw away. hot, filthy, no strings attached sex. that’s why this arrangement was proposed, it’s a good deal for both parties involved.
“i just- we promised honesty, right?” he nods. “this is gonna sound really stupid, but i like you? i guess.”
he’s silent for a moment, then, “you guess?”
“yeah,” you mumble, shrugging. “i dunno when, but it started getting harder to watch you leave. i’m not going to ask you to stay, i know you don’t do the whole relationship thing, but it’s not just blowing off steam to me anymore.”
he nods again, his teeth sinking into his bottom lip in thought. he leans one elbow on the door, holding up his head, while his right hand anchors itself to the steering wheel.
“okay.”
“okay?”
“yeah. okay,” is all he says, confusing you even further. the longer you take to respond, the colder the car’s interior gets- but the cool autumn air isn’t to blame, all the warmth billy hargrove held for you is slipping through your fingers like millions of tiny grains of sand.
you’re losing him.
“i’m sorry, billy-“
“don’t stress it.” he gets up, slamming the car door as he stands. you tumble out of the seat, rounding the front of the car and blocking his path to the doors.
“billy, talk to me,” you plead. he doesn’t, not the way you’re asking him to.
“what do you want from me? huh? you want me to run off into the sunset with you? tell you i love you? tell you i need you or something? i don’t and i never will.” he takes a step closer, leaning into your space. “you were just a warm hole to lose myself in. that’s all.”
he steps around you, making his way up the steps and into the school. seeing his pissed off expression, eddie moves from where he’d been waiting on you and out to the parking lot. his heart stutters to a stop as he sees the tears steadily rolling down your cheeks.
“hey-“
the second you hear him speak, you’re launching yourself into his arms, your head buried in his chest.
“what’d he say to you? i’ll kill him. i swear to god, i’ll kill him.”
you look up, ringed fingers coming up to wipe the tears from beneath your eyes with a gentle smile. you return it with a small uptick of your lips. “he’d beat the shit out of you, eddie.”
the dramatic roll of his eyes pulls a watery chuckle out of you. “i think it’s a noble sacrifice to make.”
“yeah, whatever.”
“besides, i’m strong. i could take him!” before you can dispute his claims, he bends down, arms circling the back of your thighs. he hoists you over his shoulders, smiling warmly as you slap on his back lightly. “see? i’ve got muscles, too!”
“put me down, eddie!” he acquiesces, gently placing your feet back on the ground, one arm hovering to catch you if you fall.
“wanna go watch movies and eat ice cream? rick pirated ‘fast times’ and is lending it to me.”
you smile, nodding with a roll of your eyes. excitement sends his whole body alight with hyper energy. he’s jumpy as he takes your hand and leads you to the passenger side, opening the door for you and offering a hand to help you step up.
he throws himself over the hood of the van in a fashion that looks extremely painful, but his giddy smile never wavers as he slides into the drivers seat. “phoebe cates is going to wipe all those troubles away, sweetheart,” he promises, his gentle eyes swimming with sincerity.
maybe billy was onto something about eddie…