Archive of Our Own

Day 1

The poorly lit alleyway was a red herring with cobblestone roads freshly dried from the morning rain. Father Benjamin Solo wrapped himself inside his long wool black coat with his top hat down his forehead to cover his face as best as possible. Finding his way through the slumps of London, angry cries of children, husbands and wives yelling at one another through the windows and finally, he reached that red building.

In his pocket, Ben held onto his white-beaded rosary almost pressing the little metal cross into his palm to draw blood. Tethering himself to his faith and what he stood for, terrible guilt kept washing over him with waves as he stared at the wooden door in the dead of the night. He could hear the laughter, chatter and the moans of the sinners inside. After almost a year of debating with himself about succumbing to his carnal needs, confessions, and doubts over his faith, Ben wasn’t nearly as ready to face the sin of his flesh. Yet, he was facing it. Never had he touched a single woman in his life other than that one small kiss he’d exchanged with a neighboring girl when he was fifteen. It’s almost thirteen years after that event now. Why did he contemplate so much?

His gloved hand knocked at the door a few times weary that anyone on the street could recognize him as Father Solo. A moment of hesitation that perhaps there was time to abort this plan, but suddenly the door opened. The lights blinded him, but a tall woman with silky yellow hair cast like a shadow, overtly painted face, wearing nothing but a corset covering her bosom, shorts showing her long legs, booties and a long-sleeved jacket on top smiled at him.

“Hello, handsome! I’m Madame Phasma, welcome to our house! Come on-in!”Her lewd laughter irked him as she widened the door for him to enter. The inside smelled like cheap cigarettes, some sort of alcohol mixture, perfumery and sex.

There were maybe about fifteen girls all lined up under a grand staircase waiting to be picked by him. The yellow-haired woman stepped closer, “pick whichever girl your heart desires, ten shillings for fucking, and twenty shillings if you want to stay the night..” She paraded in front of them showcasing, “they’re all talented and ready to please you, mister…” a pause.

Ben had done well with removing his collar. Hoping or assuming no one here was attending the Sunday church service and would recognize him. Doubling down on his guilt, he took a look at the door, an exit, and yet wanted to stay because the girls were beautiful in his male addled sinful mind and he wanted to experience the pleasure. That kiss from thirteen years ago haunted him every night when he took himself in his own hands.

“What you say handsome boy?” The woman stood closer with her cigarette breath aura.

“I can’t choose. Perhaps..” He pursed his lips and coughed, “a lady could pick?”

The girls erupted in laughter, or fake laughing? He couldn’t tell why all looked at him with love and adoration. Ben felt self-conscious about himself as he covered his body in his overcoat.

This was a bad idea.

“I’ll take him.” A girl stepped forward. She had chestnut wavy long hair down her shoulders, wearing stockings up to her thighs, high heeled shoes, silky shorts, a shirt, and a long sleeved draped, open front floral cardigan. Heat and blush took over his entire being as the girl glared at him with utmost fascination.

“Very well,” Madame said with a chuckle, “Kira is one of my finest jewels, she’s a desert rose came here from far and beyond.” Her voice lowered, “she’s young and ripe, very new here too, so not many have had her.”

Ben swallowed hard in his throat gripping the edge of his top hot in his hands. He only nodded. “When would you like the payment?”

“We take it up front,” Madame said as she gestured at Kira to come closer where she wrapped her arm around his with a plastered smile.

Ben squirmed to find his wallet and he counted the shillings to Madame while the other girls dispersed going about their night.

“Very well, thank you, enjoy” Madame took a long inhale of her cigarette as she tucked the coins in her purse.

“Come,” Kira whispered as they stepped arm in arm upstairs to her bedroom. The wooden stairs creaked almost echoing his own fear and how real his sinful fantasy was becoming. Kira was burning hot, and had the most beautiful eyes he’d seen that looked familiar.

Maybe he dreamt of her.

As he contemplated on his thoughts, Kira opened the double wooden door to her bedroom closing it behind them. She sat down at the end of the bed, one leg on top of the other, cardigan draping down her shoulders where he can see her toned shoulder blades.

Ben stood by the door still death gripping his hat. “Hello Kira.”

“Hello.”

Her smile was magnetic, a button nose needing to be kissed, silky skin with almost no fabric and glowing auburn hair under the poorly lit bedroom.

A moment passed in silence.

Sweat traveled down his spine as he put his hat down on the chair next to the door followed by his coat. He removed it almost hastily, and then his jacket. He stood there in his shirt, and trousers with suspenders.

Kira took a few steps towards him. Her scent was intoxicating. He’d never been this close to a woman for a long time let alone a beautiful woman who was practically naked for him. Or, maybe not for him. This was her job. He needed to remind himself.

What would God think? Benjamin Solo was going to burn in the eternal hell.

“Do you want to come to bed?” Kira asked without breaking eye contact. Her voice was seductive, freckles ready to be kissed and plucked. She gently took his hand and tugged him forward towards the bed. “Let’s sit here.”

They sat down next to one another at the foot of the bed as he let go of her hand and wrapped them in his lap unable to look at her.

“Have you been here before? Or is this your first time?” Kira said. She seemed uncomfortable and almost wondering at the lack of his actions. What was he supposed to do?

“No, I’ve never been here before. I actually have’t really…”

Kira took his large hand interweave it with hers, interrupting his internal and external wave of thoughts. “Don’t be scared.”

“I’m not scared.”

“Do you want to talk?…Or…I can just…” Her hands suddenly grabbed at his belt as she started unzipping him, slid between his legs and began massaging his cock. Ben jumped back in his seat stopping her with his hands. “No, no please no!”

“Oh” Kira’s big eyes looked at him. How pretty she was, how wonderful this moment was to be at the presence of Kira. She stared at him surprised at his action. “All men love this, do you not want me to suck your cock? I can lick your balls too.”

“No, God, no, please.” Ben held her by her shoulders guiding her to sit next to him. “Not, not right now. “

“What do you want?” She asked exasperated.

“Listen. I’m not really…” Ben stood up in front of her. “I haven’t done this before.”

“Right, do you usually prefer to do it with your hand?”

“Yes, but…”

“Haven’t been to a brothel.”

“Yes, and..”

“Have done it with men.”

“No…”

“We do have male workers, if you prefer, or and I can lick your arse and put a finger up there..”

“Kira, please.” Ben almost shouted. Kira stopped like a bunny caught in a trap. “I’m sorry,” He sat back next to her, “it’s difficult for me to confess this, but I haven’t made love to a woman.”

“Made love? We won’t make love…We’ll fuck.”

“Right. That. I haven’t done that.”

“Ever? Again, if you like men, we have them..”

“No. Stop. I like women. And, yes, I’m…This is very wrong, and I have to say this to you because you picked me, and I understand if this will be very hard for you to hear, but I’m a…” deep breath,”I’m a priest.”

Long silence. Or, it felt as long as eternity when Kira seemed to be processing this information.

“That’s not a problem for me, is that a problem for you?”

“How can it not? I’m not supposed to be here. This is bad. I don’t even know if I’ll please you.”

Kira snort laughed at that last statement. She cupped his face in her palm, “You’re here, you wanted to be here. Plus, God won’t see you here. He’s forsaken us all in this brothel. Don’t you worry.”

Something sank in his throat at that last statement but the warmth of her hand emanated a zing of emotions in his body.

His trousers were getting tighter.

Kira stood up between his legs, her hands rested on his shoulders playing with the edge of his suspenders almost calculating her next actions as they looked at one another. God, she was getting lovelier by the hour and how much Ben wanted to make love to her.

“Don’t fret Father Solo. I’ll teach you.”

Ben as he started stressing over those last words, but somehow time started tightening around him when Kira’s fingers undid his cravat slowly dragging her fingertips over this neck. That was followed by the unbuttoning of his white shirt. Ben was very self-conscious. He’d never undressed in front of a woman before, and hoped she won’t see him blushing like an adolescent. 

“You can touch me, “ Kira tugged his palms up to her buttocks. “Here.”

Ben squirmed feeling her soft round globes and carefully caressed her skin up to her waist feeling the flimsy fabric covering her mound. Finally, he stood up staring right into her eyes as Kira lowered his suspenders, and unzipped his trousers. Her hand skated down his pants, and Ben audibly moaned when she held his very hard cock.

“Big boy, very big boy, Father,” Kira smirked like the devil, and Ben knew he was burning. This must be hell but why did it feel so good. Her dainty hand wrapped nicely around his hard cock, something that only his own hands did, and she started gently moving it up and down in delicious pain and pleasure.

“Lie down.” Kira instructed. The disappointment was visible as he laid on his back partially clothed. He was very confused as what was happening.

“We need to get this out of your system, Father.”

“Stop calling me that.” Ben screeched waiting for her next step.

“Oops, will I burn in hell?” Kira stretched the last words as she removed her cardigan, and the white shirt underneath. “What would you like me to call you? Master?”

Ben was distracted as he could clearly see her full breasts, perky nipples, and that was followed by her shorts. Curly brown hair covered her women parts and Ben was going to come without even touching himself.

“Just Ben..” His breath hitched as he grabbed handfuls of the sheets as he felt Kira climb on top of him. Her silk stockings were still covering her white thighs.

“You can touch me, Ben.” Kira said tugging his hands up to her waist pressing at her velvety skin.

“I thought I’m supposed to be on top of you. Do you not want that?” Ben asked as Kira unbuttoned his shirt opening his shirt, and gently lifted his undershirt up.

“Not tonight.”

“Do we kiss?”

Kira laughed biting her lower lip, “if you like, no other customer has asked me that before” She got onto her own knees as her thoughts trailed without finishing her sentence, held his cock and tried to align it. Ben squirmed underneath him fumbling to help her. Everything was happening so fast, “Now, I really need to feel your large, thick cock in me.”

Ben moaned loudly when she slowly lowered herself on him. Her warm and wet inside completely wrapped tightly around his cock. There was nothing like this, no pleasure, no verse, no prayer, no God, no hymn, nothing. He arched his back as she was fully sheathed on his cock. He almost saw God himself (or herself?).

Kira’s moans, ministrations and movements drove him wild. Was he doing all this to her? Her hands lay flat on his chest as she gently rotated her hips around him. “You’re so big, very big.” Words fell out of her mouth, hair tossed around her face, and Ben was holding himself tightly to not spill inside her.

“Touch me, touch me now.” She ordered pulling his hands on her breasts, “here, flick my nipples with your fingers.” Ben felt her hard pebbled jewels poke with pleasure and as Kira commenced moving herself up and down his cock, Ben knew the end was near. Each drag of her cunt clamping around his cock was a moment of pure carnal pleasure. The shame of his previous thoughts were drowned. Her thighs pressed at his thighs, her arse touched his balls with each movement, her dainty fingers grabbed at his chest, and hair. A sense of strange pride overtook him knowing she was squirming with pleasure. He squeezed one of her breasts eliciting another moan from her and as Rey started gyrating and jumping up and down his cock at a faster rate, both of them got lost groaning and whimpering with buzz.

“Yes, yes, there, right there.” Kira was repeating these words like a mantra, but Ben stopped hearing anything other than his own imminent end with zings of electricity running up and down his body, his balls felt tighter and something peaked across his spine until he couldn’t hold it inside as he gripped her thighs, closed his eyes and let it all go. Hot white liquid filled the space between them as Ben came with long strides of whimper, shaking and eventual relaxation.

Kira stayed breathless on top of him with a smile on her face letting him catch his own breath. His mind was empty, nothing to be concerned of, and there was no God worth worrying about.

This was the happiest moment of his life.

Day 2

Rey flipped the pages of her book trying to inhale that specific scent that came with it. Sitting on the balcony of her room, she sipped her tea and commenced on reading her new detective crime book that she’d borrowed from the library. The weather was not bad this morning, but her mind played the events of the night before on repeat as she kept reading the first two sentences of prologue.

Father Benjamin Solo. What was he doing here?

Although she’d started working at a brothel nine months ago, Rey still frequented the Sunday church service wearing her “polite society” clothes with her hair covered, no face paintings, arms and legs fully clothed to fit-in. She’d seen Father Solo preach, give her communion, and even thanked her on the last Easter Sunday for all the good he’s done in the community. Father Solo did not remember her last night and as much as she wanted to be disappointed about it, Rey was glad because of the shame of facing him. However, she had nothing to apologize for as this was her chosen career until she’d saved enough money to go to university or get out of the city to find her place in the world.

Rey wondered if he would come back, and she giggled remembering the way he’d shivered and shook under him. His angular face, crooked teeth, silky long hair, and vibrant eyes were not helping in quenching her thirst for him. She hadn’t faked it with Father Solo.The most beautiful cock she’d seen. Smooth, veiny, thick, and long with perfect proportions. She squirmed thinking about it, even the sheer memory of his warm body sent thrills down her spine.

In the evening, Rey started getting ready for the night costumers who were usually high profile people disguising at night. She wore a silky short strapped dress showing her stockings, high heeled shoes and her same long-sleeved cardigan draped over her shoulders. Couple of customers came in, but Rey wasn’t picked. She hoped to see Benjamin again, but that was too much wishful thinking. He was barely holding onto his guilt the night before and wouldn’t ever come back.

Just before midnight, their last customer came-in who was none other than Father Solo. He was wearing similar black robes as yesterday and tonight, he had his white collar around his neck. Either had forgotten to remove or perhaps was coming for a confession. Rey stood there proudly without breaking eye contact. He was ever so gorgeous and she really wanted to peel at his layers.

He whispered a name into the Madame’s ear, “Kira, my lovely desert rose, perfect pick. Show Mr Solo to his room?”

Rey tried to hide her excitement as something bloomed in her body. She wrapped her arm inside his muscular, large ones and took him upstairs to her room.

When they entered her bedroom, Rey couldn’t wait as she started removing his coat gently. “You came back.” Followed by his jacket, and she started undoing pulling at his Roman collar until she was stopped by his strong hands.

“Wait, I wanted to speak with you.” His voice was solemn. Did he remember her from the Sunday church service? Was he going to shame her? Rey gently removed her arms from around his shoulders, stepped back and crossed her arms. “Last night, Kira, was amazing, and I haven’t stopped thinking about you. I know this is wrong, and shameful for me.”

Shameful for him. Shameful and yet squirmed like a leaf underneath her last night plus he’d made the decision in keeping his Roman collar today for all to see.

“Why did you come back then?”

Father Solo didn’t respond but he took a step forward where she could smell his clean shaven cologne, and be intimidated by his presence. His large hands closed around her cardigan and he gently let it slip onto the carpeted floor. The tips of his fingers caressed the edges of her shoulders and goosebumps erupted all over the surface of her body. His intense gaze into her eyes were too much to handle, almost punishing her, or fucking her? She couldn’t pick which one she preferred. His hands dragged down her arms squeezing her right breast. Rey squirmed and her fingers started playing with his Roman collar pulling it out.

“I couldn’t stop thinking of you,” He whispered, almost to himself, “I can’t stop thinking of you, I want to feel you again.” Suddenly, he dipped his face into the side of her neck inhaling her scent sharply. He moved her hair to the side and wrapped his arms around her body.

“Ben, you have the most beautiful cock I’ve ever seen. I’m glad you came back..” Kira murmured into his ear as she started unbuttoning his pants, belt, zipper. Her hand snaked inside finding him already hard with leaking tip. She spread it around and started pumping him out. He moaned lightly in her ear and dragged her dress down. “What do you want to try tonight?” Her whisper was followed by a gentle lick of under his earlobe. He didn’t move away, but was startled.

“I just want to feel you again.” He lowered his suspenders and Rey took it on herself and got onto the bed. She laid on her back, shimmied out of her silky dress, removed her shoes and only stayed in her stockings. He stood there for a second and Rey wondered if he was contemplating to leave. But, soon, he removed his shirt and put it neatly on the chair. His white undershirt was strained for life around his broad shoulders. Rey was burning to see his naked skin but she was scared of pushing him. He started climbing the bed with his hand dragging across her legs, up and up to her thighs. Supporting himself on his arms, he glared at her with his hair curtaining around his face. Rey combed them away with her fingers and opened her legs.

“Do you want me to get you ready? I want to pleasure you.”

“Give me your hand,” Rey took his hand and slid it between her legs letting him feel the sticky wetness pooled. His large fingers fumbled around trying to find the magic button. “Slow, slow,” Another tug at his fingers, “here, just rub it, slowly.” Ben did just that. His two fingers rubbed at her clit back and forth as electricity started zinging through her spine. Rey dug her fingers in his hair as he vehemently examined her face to find the elicited pleasure.

“You like this?” He dipped his face down for a kiss around her shoulder. “You like it when I do this?”

“Mhmm..” Rey moaned with her eyes tight shut, “faster, please, back and forth, faster.”

His fingers pressed against her clit rubbing back and forth at a fast pace, and Rey couldn’t hold the intensity anymore while she clutched her thighs together, pulled at his hair and let herself go with a loud whimper. He did not stop at it. He kept going and rubbing until Rey’s back was off the bed unable to breathe from pleasure.

A few seconds passed, and they laid in silence. Ben’s hand was between her thighs and his thumb was caressing her sweet cunt back and forth. “I like watching you.” He said breaking the bliss.

“Do you want to fuck me now?” Rey snaked her hand inside his open trousers finding the hard cock waiting in attention.

He didn’t say a word, but was severely blushing. Rey liked him and she chuckled. “Get on top of me, like before.”

Ben was good at following order. He hovered over her supporting himself, and Rey wrapped her legs around his waist. “I’ll just put your cock in me, hold on.” She pumped him a few times, aligned the head and guided him to thrust inside her.

“Look at me.” He said.

They looked into each other’s eyes as he ever so slowly pushed his cock inside of her. The intensity of his gaze was heady making her blush. The fullness was new all over again. She wouldn’t get ready for his big cock, it was too much, and she bit her lower lip trying not to break eye contact.

“Do you like it?”

“I love your big cock.” Rey moaned when he was finally all the way inside her. “I love it. Oh, oh, please fuck me.” Her heels dug into his buttocks urging him to move.

“You’re beautiful.” He repeated it a few times as he started moving as a steady pace. Rey squirmed with each drag of his cock, filling her, hitting at the right spot inside, and then pulling back, like an agony, a punishment and she wanted to drown in it. “Pretty, little flower.”

“Mhmm, hnnnnghh.” Rey moaned  throwing her head back, closed her eyes and tried to live in the sensation and ignoring his sweet words. He didn’t need to be nice to her. He was empowering, his strong body was pushing onto her and she encouraged him, “do it faster, faster, fuck me hard..”

She was sure he blushed like a virgin, but couldn’t see with her eyes closed concentrating on his girth and size. Yet, he did what she wanted and picked up his pace. As he thrusted into her hard and fast, Rey moaned non-stop pressing his face in her neck, her nails digging at his back. “Yes, yes, yes, faster, deeper, deeper.”

Ben was shaking on top of her, and he hooked one of her legs under his forearm moving in deeper. Rey could tell he was going to come soon, and she wished he’d hold off. For the first time in her life, she wished a customer would not come for a while. This was surprising.

“Hold both of my legs up, go deeper, please.”

Ben hooked her other leg under his forearm again, and the heady sensation made Rey scream with pleasure. He kept hitting the sweet spot, the magic button that was going to make her come again.

“Don’t stop don’t stop don’t stop” Rey screeched as she started shaking letting go of that last branch. Sensations zinged up and down her limbs emanating from her core. It didn’t take him much longer, as he fell on top of her filling her with hot ropes of cum. Rey held him tight as both shook with pleasure.

When they both landed back on Earth, he laid next to her catching his breath. Silence was deafening, but before she could say a word, he got up and started wearing his clothes. The Roman collar was interesting as Rey watched him shamefully try to run away without saying a word.

Before he left, he turned around and said “thank you.”

Day 8

Ben pressed the cross of the rosary in his palm as he knelt on his knees in the empty church staring at the picture of Virgin Mary. He wasn’t sure if he was trying to atone his sins, but all he wanted to do was be inside Kira. The conflict in him was deafening, agonizing, and as much as he tried to press it down, he was drawn to the dark side.

“Forgive me, forgive me.”

Words sounded vain, vapid and emoty. Hoping that God would forgive him. In fact, he’d seen Kira almost every night that week spending most of his savings to a point that Madame Phasma had started to give him a discount. He should stop seeing Kira. He should stop thinking of her.

A beautiful rose.

“Father, forgive me..” He said it again as he kissed the rosary hoping for something. His cloudy brain wasn’t having this charade. It would’ve been best if he stopped trying to atone altogether. Kira’s white skin, smooth body and hot burning cunt was all he wanted. His mouth salivated thinking of kissing between her legs. He hadn’t asked her for that yet, but he was sure she won’t mind.

Ben hated the shame that followed their conjugal visits. It reminded him of his uncle pastor Luke’s judgmental words when he was studying to become a priest. He’d try to take the evil out of him knowing it’s lurking somewhere. Ben was never able to take it out. The conflict in him was deafening. Uncle Luke saw it, and was not kind to him. Later, when Ben’s parents passed, they’d left him their estate and inheritance.

Worldly things and material needs he didn’t have a use for other than now. He could use it to pluck Kira from that place. However, it felt wrong to do anything against her will. He wanted to hold her, kiss her and let her sleep in his arms. Not only that, but he raked his brain the entire week trying to remember where he’d seen her before. Was she someone he knew? Someone he’d met? Someone’s wife? Would she go out and tell everyone about what they’re doing?

The pain was too much as he stood back up, tucked the rosary inside his pocket and decided to read scripture in his bedroom. No brothel. No outings. No Kira tonight or any other night. This much experimentation and succumbing to sin were more than enough.

That night and the following nights he did just that. The Bible was his company.

Day 25

“Yes, yes, ah, ah, yes, there, right there” Rey dug her fingers into the pillows with her face pressed against them as Ben fucked her hard from behind. His thrusts had become faster holding onto her waist. She loved the feeling of his sweaty balls slapping against her. “Don’t stop, please, faster.”

Ben never spoke or said anything dirty to her during their fucking where she only moaned and slammed skin against skin non-stop until she came hard with screech and her legs trembled with pleasure.

He pulled out of her, turned her around and pushed into her again with one of her legs on his shoulder. “Aaah,” Rey moaned clutching at the pillows, but he held onto her hand in place and kept fucking like a bullet with sweat dripping on her body. He wasn’t completely naked tonight, but his undershirt was gone, with his trousers pushed down. Rey mesmerized at his nicely shaped built upper body and strong arms.

The slap of their skins and their moans were the only things in the room until Ben spilled inside her again with loud groan.

Rey laid there as he pulled out. This night however, he stretched next to her on bed after tucking his cock back inside.

“You’re not going to leave?” Rey turned on her side and gently dragged the tip of her finger at the ridges of his bicep.

“Not in a hurry. Unless, you want me to leave.”

Rey shimmied closer resting her head on his arm, and was pleasantly surprised when he widened his arm letting her head rest on his chest. She felt safer when he was around. For the past many days, he’d been seeing her almost everyday. Rey wondered about the payments and at points wanted to offer him free ride, and let him only pay Madame Pharma’s fees.

“You were so good tonight.” Rey started, “yet so gentle.”

“Do you like it?” He interrupted her. “Do you like it when we’re together?”

“You mean when we fuck?” Rey smirked knowing he was blushing most likely.

“Yes, that.” He gripped at her shoulder tighter, and how much Rey wanted him to kiss her. “It’s been difficult for me to keep coming back here. Every day I try to atone yet unable to stop thinking of you.”

“You like the idea of me. I’m sure you’ll love it too if you sleep with another girl.”

“Would you be jealous if I do?” A slight smile in his voice.

Rey furrowed her brows. Jealousy. Jealousy over someone who didn’t even belong to her. A mere customer. “Would it matter? This is my job, and it means you’d prefer another girl over me.”

“I wouldn’t pick anyone else. Perhaps this is very wrong to say, but…I like you, Kira.”

Rey lifted herself up on her forearm, “I…like you too.” She rested her head back on his chest. “I was scared you won’t come back again.”

“I wasn’t going to come back, I broke my vow of celibacy.” There was pain in his voice, almost a choke.

Rey shimmied herself up and cupped his face with gentle caress of her thumb. Tears started coming out of his eyes as he wiped them away. “I’m a broken man and I keep lying to myself, to God, but I can’t stop wanting you, this sin is breaking me.”

She wiped away at his tears and warmth filed her. She wanted to protect him but didn’t know how or from what. “No, you’re not. Just because we fuck, it doesn’t mean you’re less than. You’re still a great preacher, have faith and a strong man for confessing your fears.” Rey cupped his face, “look at me, God loves you, he will still love you with all your sins. You can’t be perfect for him and he knows that.”

Ben stopped crying as he seemed to be contemplating her words.

“Don’t cry, please.” Rey plated a kiss on his cheek, and nestled back on his chest. “I decided to forgo of my portion when you visit me. If you’d accept it.”

“What? Why?”

Rey pulled the bed cover over herself and sat up. “I couldn’t admit it at first, but..now that I’ve told you I like being with you, I can’t accept payments. It’s wrong and you’ve been very gentle and kind.”

“Kira, it’s not right..”

“No, Ben, no. Pay Phasma only five shillings, and let it be.”

Day 52

“Why does she call you desert rose?”

Ben wondered as he trailed kisses across Kira’s arm. Feeling her lithe body wrapped inside his where he could kiss and inhale her scent were driving him wild.

“I moved to London from Jakku. Do you know where that is?”

“Yes, it’s in far east but why did you come here?”

Kira turned inside his arm to face him. Her flushed skin post love making had made her freckles more prominent. He caressed her chestnut hair resisting to kiss her full lips. The longing was difficult.

“I was trying to find my parents. They abandoned me as a child, and I had found a letter saying they were from London. I took it upon myself to find them, and have a family. Soon, I realized they were already dead, and I was a nobody. I took this job to support myself and save enough to go to university.”

Love bloomed in his chest. Love. That was terrifying yet Ben kissed her forehead unable to stop herself. She didn’t fear it, or try to run away. Their fully naked bodies were intertwined.

“How about you?” She planted a quick peck on his cheek.

“My mother was from Alderaan, and father from here. I grew up with them until I was fifteen. End of that summer, they decided to send me to become a priest at the convent where my uncle was working.”

“Did you want to become a priest?”

“It was what I meant to be ever since I was a child, or so my mother told me.”

“Is your uncle also a priest?”

“Yes, and that’s where I lived most of my life. However, I did go onto become a missionary and went to South America, other parts of Europe and some places in Asia.”

“Jakku?” Kira smiled remembering her own country.

“Unfortunately, no, but ..you and I could go there again one day.”

Kira’s smile faded, eyes drifted and rested her head on his shoulder.

“Or not. We don’t have to go there..” Ben flustered hoping he wasn’t hurtful.

“We can’t go.” Kira untangled herself from his hold and suddenly he felt very cold. She put her robe around her naked figure and stood by the window watching outside. “You can’t leave your duty, and I can’t leave here. I need to save enough money.”

For the past months, Ben had gone from never being naked with a woman, to finally making love, or fuck while being fully naked. So, he got out of the bed without covering himself and wrapped his arms around her from behind. “I will not push you to do anything you don’t want, and yet the thought of you being with other men is painful.”

Jealousy was an ugly emotion. Ben bit his tongue realizing he was admitting to being a jealous to a woman who had to do this, and just because she stopped taking payments from him, it didn’t mean that they were lovers.

“It’s my job.” Kira said with her voice hitching.

“Kira..”

She turned towards him inside his grip. “Rey. My real name is Rey.”

“Rey..” He tried her name on his tongue. “Beautiful Rey. I like it.”

She was scared. He could see that as she averted her gaze. He had said and done too much. First, he offered her to travel together, and then admitted of being jealous of her. He needed to step back and respect her.

Perhaps, that was what he had intended to do if it wasn’t for Rey to cup his face inside her small hands, gently tug him down and press her lips against his. Soft yet firm. His hands snaked down her figure pulling her forward as she deepened the kiss. Rey opened her mouth slightly as their lips moved, tucked, and tugged on top of another. It was awkward at first as he tried to figure out how to make it pleasurable for her without biting her. Soon, her upper lip wrapped around his lower lip, and she widened her mouth to accommodate his tongue. Her hands moved around his neck dragging him down and her tongue did somersaults joining with his. Ben didn’t know where his mouth ended and hers began. Her warm body trembled inside his as he gently opened the robe and Rey let it drop onto the floor.

“Rey..” He whispered when he came out for air. Her lips and mouth were flushed red, eyes closed as she breathed in.

“Ben..” She breathed hooking her arms around his neck, and she tried to hook one of her legs up his waist. “I want you again..Can you..”

“Yes, yes” Ben interrupted her, lifted her up pressing her against the wall. She was trapped between the wall and his body. He supported her by bending one of his knees as her legs hooked behind him.

Ben dug his face pressing his lips against hers one more time. This time they were hasty, sloppy and almost urgent. He thrusted his hard cock into her with one swift motion letting her moan into his mouth. This was certainly painful for her as her back hit the wall repeatedly, but Ben couldn’t wait. Rey screamed and moaned for him, needing him to hurt her, press her, and hold her tight. Their bodies jumped together grinding against the wall as they vehemently kissed and licked each other’s lips.

“Yes, yes, ah, ah, aah, aaah” Rey cried pressing his head inside her neck, fingers dug in his hair and he felt her pull his cock clenching and contracting around him. “Yeah, yeah, Ben, ahhh, aaaaaah”. Her wails didn’t stop until she yanked at his hair as a final clue for him to let go spilling himself inside her.

Day 75

Ever since the first time Ben had visited her, Rey had stopped going to Sunday church. She feared if Ben saw her in a different light, he’d stop wanting her.

There was something between them. The poems that she read kept reminding her of him. The heroes of her novels somewhat started taking the shape of his face. Rey was scared of her own emotions, and the fear of abandonment. Just like her parents, he could leave her after he gets tired of her, and she tried hard to block her emotions.

But he wasn’t indicating that during their nights together. In fact, he had become jealous of her and wanted to flee away with her. Everything had been happening so fast, and Rey felt scared of getting attached or leaving her friends who also worked at this brothel.

And, the kiss. He kissed her like his life would end, or he’d stop breathing if he didn’t kiss her urgently. The memories flooded and she smirked to herself happiness filling her. This was wrong, and she knew she would get hurt if she didn’t put an end to this. And, yet.

That evening, when Ben came to her, she was reluctant in kissing him or letting things to escalate again.

“What is it?” He asked her worried.

“This can’t go on, Ben.” She said watching his face drop. “We can’t keep doing this. You need to start visiting other girls, and find a way to break away from me. “

“But, what are you saying? Why?” Ben tried to hold her hands but Rey pulled them away. “Is it because I said I was jealous of you? Or because I asked you to leave here with me?”

Rey took a seat on the sofa wrapping herself inside her robe. “No, you’ve been great, and I can’t do this to you. It’s not fair” She stood up going against the window.

Ben strode towards her and attempted to hold her arms. “I’m sorry, Rey. I’m sorry for whatever I did.. You have no idea how hard it’s been for me.”

“Yes, you also don’t know how hard it is for me.”

“What are you saying?”

“This can’t happen.” Rey waved at the space between them. “This. You and I.”

Ben stood back with his brows furrowed trying to understand her. “I don’t understand what has changed between us for you to say these things to me. I thought you liked me, and I like you.”

“I don’t like you, Ben.” Rey’s voice hitched and she wiped away at a single tear. She turned her face against him, “I love you, and this can’t happen. I can’t fall in love with a customer let alone a priest. I’m taking you to sin with me..”

Ben didn’t a say word for a long time. When she finally looked at him, his flabbergasted expression was processing her words.

“You love me?”

“It doesn’t matter.”

“You love me.”

“Ben! I can’t leave here, and you can’t leave your church.”

“You love me.”

“Stop saying that!”

Ben stepped forward and suddenly tugged her for a hug. “I love you too, you have no idea how much I love you, and it’s driving me mad. I can’t sleep, eat or breathe without thinking of you.” His hands caressed her back, and he resumed on kissing her neck and face. “I confessed my sins multiple times, and tried not to think of you with other men. I have this violent urge of killing them all, and yet, I couldn’t stand one minute without you.”

Rey let her emotions wash over her. She embraced him back as he mumbled his thoughts and for once in her life, she let herself to be loved. A strange feeling. He cared for her knowing about her lifestyle, life, and background. A girl from nowhere. A Nobody.

For a moment, she didn’t break the bubble, and the illusion of his feelings. She knew he would stop loving her one day, and leave her like the others. A used prop for his own life.

“You can’t love me, and I can’t love you.” Rey freed herself. “I am sleeping with lots of other men. I let them touch me, and kiss my body. How can you accept that?”

Ben tightened his fist. “It’s your job.”

“What if I fall in love with one of them? Or they propose a marriage to me? How can you still love me like that?”

“Surely you wouldn’t..and, yes, if that happened, I would still respect your decision.”

“No! You’re lying!” Rey turned her back again with anger bubbling over. “Listen, this is it. I can’t see you anymore. It’s better if you find someone else, or yet, perhaps confessions will help.”

“Why are you hurting me?”

“I’m telling you the truth!”

Ben yanked at her wrist before she tried to go to the door to open it. “No, you’re running away just like you did when you left Jakku. You hoped you’ll find something here, and you didn’t. You just accept what life gives you and don’t fight for anything.”

“And you do?” Rey shouted back. “You became a priest because your family wanted you to, and you didn’t put up a fight either! You’re just like me, scared, and alone. Don’t you dare judge my life.”

“I’m not judging you, it’s the last thing I’d do,” Ben’s voice broke between a scream and cry. “I’m just telling the truth. The truth is, you’re too terrified to love me because that would mean for you to not be alone anymore. You’re broken just like me! I’m telling you I love you, and I’m ready to do what it takes.”

“Are you ready to leave the church for me? How about I leave here for you? Then what, you’ll be bored of me, blame me for your shortcomings and resent me. Leave me on the curb.”

Ben didn’t respond. His reddened face stared back at her. “How can you assume that?”

“I know that! Everyone in my life left me. Even my parents. How can you be any different?”

“If you really think this way, I don’t know what to tell you.” Ben grabbed his coat and hat. “I won’t bother you anymore. I’ll pay up my dues to the Madame on my way out.”

Just like that, he slammed the door behind him, and Rey cried until dawn.

Two years later

Rey clutched her purse, hugged her books, and held onto her hat on a windy morning when she crossed the street heading to a bookstore in London. It had been a year since she’d started as a student in Cambridge and finally had the time to come to London searching for specific books needed for her studies. As much as she got pointed eyes at her for being a woman who attended college, Rey didn’t care.

The inside was full with bookshelves, and mostly men who murmured whenever she passed by them. Rey scuffed and went about her day. Nowadays, she was living in all-girls dormitory at Cambridge, and had gotten a scholarship. Her savings were helpful in having a decent living. Although London reminded her of bad memories, all that life was behind her now.

The bookstore was overwhelming as she dug through the literature section trying to find specific novels for her research. Her task was interrupted when she spotted someone tall and handsome in the crowd.

He wasn’t wearing a top hat, but his coat was open, and was looking through the newspapers, scanning them. His angular face was the same, and beautiful hair framing his face.

Ben.

Her heart skipped a beat as she fumbled feeling numbness and tingling around her fingertips. Her spine extended almost erupting goosebumps, and Rey decided to leave. She can’t possibly talk to him again. Emotions came crashing down forcing her to realize how much she’d missed him and the memory of their final fight pierced through her.

When she took another once over, she noticed the absence of his Roman collar, and more casual clothing. Rey hadn’t gone to church after their fight and had not contacted him at all.

She decided it was best to leave and come back tomorrow for her research.

That task proved to fall apart when he spotted her too. He didn’t try to talk to her but she hastily moved away until passed by him. Her legs stopped her. Rey cursed at herself at how drawn was she to him.

“Rey.” His voice solemn and deep.

“Hello.”

“I’m surprised to see you..” He tucked the newspaper under his armpit. “I’m happy to see you”

“Nice to see you as well.” Rey said, and pointed at his newspaper, “it seems you’re busy..”

“Would you like to drink some tea sometime?”

Surprised, Rey hugged her books to her chest. “Alone in public?”

“Right. Would you like to come to my house? If you’re free. I’ll offer you tea. No one would see us there.”

Rey looked around hoping no one would hear them. “Oh”

Ben didn’t say a word. “I need to speak with you. I tried contacting you after that…that night, and you disappeared.”

“Could you please not speak of that here?”

“Where then?”

“Let’s go to your house now, but I will leave as soon as our conversation ends.”

Ben’s house was a two-story brownstone. It was simple yet clean. Rey had always wondered if he’d lived at the church, and was very curious as how he was able to afford it all.

When they entered his house, Rey stood by the door avoiding to step further. Ben removed his jacket, and was still handsome and bulky like before. She gazed at him taking it all-in ad trying to memorize every small detail.

“Please enter. I’ll fetch you some tea.” He said moving inside to what it seemed to be the kitchen. Rey followed him warily. “Do you like sugar? My housekeeper also made some cookies this morning. Would you like some?”

The china was impeccable and the cookies looked delicious. Rey sat around the kitchen table and grabbed a cookie as Ben poured tea for them. When he was done, he sat in front of her and started sipping his cup.

“Let’s end this, shall we? What did you want to speak about?” Rey said as she finished eating her first cookie.

Ben glared at her for a while. He was examining her face or seemed to try to quench his longing for her after a long time of being apart.

“Rey, I apologize for coming off too strong at you. I understand you needed your privacy. You should understand me as well that I was worried sick for you. After our fight, I tried not to think of you but couldn’t. A week later, I came back for you but Madame Phasma told me you had left. It was a lie of course because I saw you on the street  few nights later with one of your girlfriends. I realized you wished to be left alone and I did that.” Ben took another sip of his tea. “Seeing you today, I’m surprised and want answers as I understand you don’t owe me anything, but for the past two years, I haven’t stopped thinking of you.”

“Ben..”

“I see you’re doing well. From the looks of it, you’re going to university? I’m very happy for you, and what my anger was at the time, the fact that you think I would stop you from doing anything you wanted to do. I would have gladly helped you with university payments, or given you a home..”

“Ben!”

“Don’t..just let me say this. A year ago, I decided to leave the church.”

Rey gasped sitting back. She had suspected it.

“…A difficult decision but I couldn’t fulfill my duties to God or to the Church anymore. I had some inheritance left from my parents, and decided to continue my Father’s trade of importing and exporting. I couldn’t bare it, and never tried to look for you.”

They sat there in silence. Rey said, “Left for Cambridge six months after our relationship ended. When I got accepted, I didn’t look back. I left the brothel and took a one-way train to Cambridge. I’m studying English literature there.”

Ben smiled with creases around his mouth almost proud of her.

“Seeing you today was terrifying. I realized how much I had missed you, and I’m sorry that you left the church but if you’re happier now, that would please me.”

This was wrong. Her emotions were taking over as she became more drawn to him by the second. This needed to end now where she could go back to being miserable.

Rey stood up and grabbed her books. “I think it’s better if I leave. I’m glad we conversed and saw one another one last time.” She stepped into the hallway but promptly stopped by Ben who strode towards her.

“No, Rey!” He took her hand. His touch took her back directly to their fiery nights. “Rey, please. Don’t leave me again.” He cupped her face in his hands, foreheads touching one another.

“You left me!” Rey breathed. “You’re the one who slammed the door.”

“I didn’t want to!” Ben planted a kiss on her nose. Her back pressed against the wall, and her books dropped onto the floor. She held his face in her hands too and both looked into each other’s eyes, almost drinking back the longing.

“I never wanted to leave you. I went back,” Ben’s voice trembled, “Phasma told me you were gone, and she said how you had stopped seeing other customers after I came…You had offered to clean the brothel in exchange for money…Why?” Ben continued kissing her nose, and cheeks.

“I couldn’t..I couldn’t be with anyone else other than you..I hurt you on purpose and lied because I needed you to leave..I was scared.” Rey let her tears fall as she started crying.

“She also told me how you went to the Sunday service and yet I didn’t remember you..I hated myself for it.”

“No!” Rey finally kissed his lips hooking her arms around his neck. “I loved you, and I still love you, Ben!”

Ben lifted her up bunching her skirts and walked towards the living room plumping her on the sofa. She wrapped her legs around him as much as she could.

His kiss was sweet and tender, lips and tongue danced with one another as her hands roamed around his chest fumbling with his shirt. He squeezed her breast through her layers of fabrics and they kissed until their lips became puffy and red.

“Take me to your bed” Rey breathed into his neck. “Please.”

++++++++

Her fingers unbuttoned his shirt and lowered his suspenders. His fingers tugged at her blouse and unzipped her skirt. Her hair fell down  from the nice updo, and his boots were out fumbling on hers. Somehow the zipper of his trousers didn’t open fast enough as she unhooked her brassiere staying only in her camisole and thigh-high stockings. Rey hugged herself almost shivering. She hadn’t been with anyone after their fight but Ben didn’t let her contemplate. He threw his undershirt onto the floors followed by his knickers standing fully naked.

Ben pressed her body against him kissing her forehead and inhaling her hair. Rey pulled him down for a kiss and both stumbled back climbing on top of his bed.

Rey squirmed as she settled opening her legs for him, and his hands explored her soft skin. He gently lifted her camisole up feeling her bare breast. She moaned into his mouth and helped him remove the fabric off her.

“I’ve missed you so much,” Rey whimpered as he continued kissing and licking her neck, down her chest and bosom. Her wetness was heady and mind bending. Ben kissed his way down her navel, belly button until he reached between her legs. Quickly, he removed the last of her clothing letting her lay bare in front of him.

Rey didn’t stop him in any way as he started kissing the handful of hair covering her cunt. He was slow at first, but he held onto her thighs, pulled her forward and commenced on licking her core like an animal. Back and forth. His hot tongue dug inside of her and she couldn’t stop moving or moaning. He thrusted his tongue a few more time, then got up licking her clit sending her to a fit of whimpers. He loved when she dug her fingers in his hair and she started coming with pleasure, Ben licked and sucked at the last of her juices.

++++++++

Rey’s hips gyrated as she dragged herself up and down on his cock. Her palms dug on his chest and sometimes covered his lips. His hands helped and hurried her waist letting her chase after her own pleasure. Her flushed skin was beautiful, and his cock perfectly fit inside her.

It wasn’t enough, however, to her loud surprise, he turned her around letting her lay on her back. He turned her body to the side, almost scissoring her with one of her legs underneath his, and the other on his shoulder. Rey was too far gone in pleasure to do anything other than take his thrusts letting him rearrange her organs. Sweat dripped on top of sweat, fluids and juices mixed, Rey’s hands tugged at the bedcover and pillows as Ben fucked her hard, fast and at a steady pace until she cried out loud, and her legs shook while her body vibrated up and down.

That wasn’t enough, again. This time, he flipped her on her stomach, closed her legs and straddled her from behind. He thrusted his cock while letting her hold close her legs. Rey was just taking it, and her moans only fueled him. This angle was amazing because it had made her even tighter around his cock. This time, it only took a few more pumps and thrust as he came inside her with loud groan until he was empty.

++++++++

Rey’s finger drew circles on his chest and she felt safe inside his arm. The sun was long gone, and it was dark outside the window.

They laid on the bed aimlessly as Ben caressed her hair and occasionally kissed her temple. They hadn’t bothered to get inside the covers. The heat was too much to handle.

“You’ve gotten better at making love.” Rey said snuggling closer. His post-sex scent was heady.

“You mean at fucking?” Ben smiled and Rey laughed remembering their first time together.

“Yes, that.” Rey tucked her nose in his chest but Ben couldn’t help but kiss her lips.

He pulled her closer caressing her skin. “Rey..”

“Hmm?”

“Would you marry me?”

Rey lifted herself on her arm. “What?”

“Marry me.” Ben turned to face her. “Listen, before you say no, or run away, you don’t have to come back to London to live with me. I’ll come to Cambridge. We could live in a small house or flat there until you finish your studies. I’ll do whatever it takes to make you happy.”

“Ben..” Rey’s eyes teared.

“No, no, please, don’t…”

“Yes, yes, I’ll marry you!” Rey pushed herself kissing him with determination. “Would you marry me?”

“I’ll marry you in every single lifetime!!” Ben replied as their foreheads touched and stayed cocooned safely together.

It wasn’t long after where they got married at a small church service in London and moved to Cambridge until Rey graduated from university living happily in a small flat. For whatever life threw at him, Ben was grateful to have succumbed to his “sinful” desires all those years ago for he met his one-and-only beautiful Rey.