Chapter Text
,,Oh yes, right there.” Jannik gasps. Carlos can do nothing but stare up at Jannik, bouncing up and down on his dick. Actually, bouncing is too vulgar for someone like Jannik. Jannik is the most gorgeous person on earth, beautiful and perfect and loving. Carlos can do nothing against Jannik’s charm.
They have been doing this for a few months now, having sex whenever they are in the same city. It started after one night out with other players. They had both been a little tipsy, staring at each other as they rode the elevator up their hotel rooms. Befor the elevator doors had opened, they had curshed their mouthes together. Ever since then they kept coming back to each other.
Even before it started, deep down Carlos knew he felt more for Jannik, he was just too scared to admit it.
Now he has Jannik but not even close to the way he wants it. He wants more. But he knows he cannot have it, so he will take what he can get. In this case this means sex, Jannik’s body and his pleasure. Which is great, Carlos cannot deny it. Sex with Jannik is awesome, breathtaking even, but it could never be enough. Carlos wishes he could have all of Jannik, every small piece, the good and the bad things.
Jannik’s moans pulls Carlos out of his thoughts. Jannik being vocal is new, he just started doing this a few weeks before. Before this he always was too shy, blushing and biting his lip to keep all sounds in. This eventually changed and now Jannik sometimes lets his pleasure out.
Carlos grabs Jannik’s hip, leads him. Jannik gives him a lust drunk smile. He leans down and kisses Carlos. Carlos kisses him back, running his hands over Jannik’s back and a shudder runs over Jannik’s body. He always is so sensitive, responding to every little touch Carlo’s give him, always so easy to tease and rill him up.
Carlos knows a moment before it happens that Jannik will come, because his body goes still, clenching around Carlos. It is what pushes Carlos over the edge in the end too.
/
,,I am in Innich in two weeks.” Jannik says, while he gets dressed.
Carlos looks at him from where he is laying on his hotelbed. ,,Cool” He says.
,,Do you want to come visit?” Jannik asks and the question takes him by surprise. They usually don’t do things like those. They have sex when they play the same tournament, they hang out at tours, they sometimes send each other memes on instagram. This is the kind of relationship they have.
,,It was a kind of last minute decision. My family had already booked a vacation, so I will be home alone. But I just wanted a few days home, you know? If you want you can come, stay for a few days.” Jannik explains and then adds: ,,We could have so much sex, wear ourselfs out.”
Carlos blushes and looks away. ,,Okay. I will come” He says, without thinking about it. What is he doing?
Spending multiple days with Jannik, just Jannik, will be the death of him.
A smile spreads over Jannik’s face. ,,Perfect. Bolzano/Bozen is the closest airport to Innich. You book a flight and tell me when you will land. I will pick you up.” Jannik says. He walks back to the bed, leans over Carlos and kisses him before he leaves.
That is new too. They don’t kiss goodbye usually. Carlos swallows hard and turns over to lay on his side. Whenever Jannik leaves him a strange sense of loneliness crashes over him. His heart feels empty and a known tightness that he usually feels when he is scared, fills his stomach. He has to think right back to a few minutes ago when Jannik was all his. How gorgeous and soft he looked. Which leads Carlos to another thought. How unattractive he is compared to Jannik.
The thought is not new.
Carlos knows that is not the most attractive and even if he would not know, he knows how to read comments on social media. He is aware that his body is nice, that this is what people like about his looks. But he also knows that his face destroys it. He is aware that his haircut is not attractive, that he is close to a monobrow, that his teeth are slightly yellowish, that his mouth is too big, that he has acne scars all over.
The thing is, Carlos always knew that he was not good looking for a long time and he had never really cared about it. It was not something he could change anyways. Well, he did not care until Jannik came along. When he was just secretly in love with Jannik, he had not cared about his own looks, he had just pushed it away with the thought that he was not good enough for Jannik anyways. He was not good looking enough, not smart enough, not talented or diverse enough, nothing. All he was good at was tennis and for sure that was not enough. Being good at tennis is not impressive when your object of desire is a top tennis player too. Yet now he cares about his looks. Jannik must like something about him if he is willing to have sex with him. But Carlos wonders if maybe that something is maybe just his body, everything up to his neck. Or maybe it is not even that, maybe it is just the fact he is in reach. Jannik can count on him whenever he wants to blow off steam, he can count on Carlos being there, on understanding the busy schedule, on getting that he has to leave again after sex, on Carlos being discreet. In short, Carlos is just the easists possibility. It is a easy thing, Jannik does not tell anyone he likes men and Carlos does neither, so they can both be sure the other will not tell anyone.
When Carlos passes the mirror on his way to take a shower, he stops to look at himself.
Is that what Jannik sees when he riding him?
Carlos strokes through his hair and then looks away. Only bad thoughts about himself get into his mind. He shakes his head. Pointing out his flaws will not help him or make him more attractive, it will just lead from him hating his looks to picking everything out that is wrong with him otherwise too. Like how stupid he is, how uninteresting, how he could never be of interest to Jannik. Jannik would never want him for anything else besides sex and pleasure.
So, Carlos will take what he can get and maybe a few days of having Jannik all to himself and pleasuring him is all he can ever get. He will take it. Carlos enjoys giving Jannik pleasure, pleasing him. He likes to focus all his attention on him, do just the things he likes, loving him, bringing him pleasure and hope that maybe this will make Jannik realize how much he loves him.