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The handcuffs were a shockingly ill-considered wedding present. Costis tugged them out of the pile of gifts and held them up while his mind untangled what they were and why they were there. He resolved to get rid of them before Kamet could find them.
Unfortunately, Kamet chose that moment to walk through the door.
Kamet looked from him to the cuffs and raised an eyebrow. “Should I be concerned?”
Costis shook his head. “They were with the rest of the gifts. From Ion and Dionis, I think.” He winced apologically. “They’re idiots. It wouldn’t occur to them that it might remind you of—they don’t think of you that way.”
Kamet crossed towards him and reached out, touching the edge of the cuff lightly. Costis couldn’t quite read his expression. He tilted his head up to meet Costis’s eyes. “I didn’t stay with Nahuseresh because he physically tied me there, you know.”
Costis nodded. It had been more complicated than that, of course. Still—he tried, for a moment, to picture it. The dull shine of the metal against Kamet’s skin as he knelt or stretched out on the bed, defenseless. Costis shuddered involuntarily. He already worried enough that Kamet’s life and loyalty had not been given freely, coming as it had as the result of a lie. He didn’t need another reminder.
“I don’t have any interest in seeing you submit to me or to anyone else,” Costis said shortly. “I’ll tell Ion to find a different gift.”
Kamet nodded. There was a faint spark of amusement in his eyes. “You could do that. Or—you could wear them. If you want.”
Costis felt his eyes widen. He looked down at them, considering. He’d been handcuffed before—by the Queen’s Guard, and by the slavers when he was retrieving Kamet. He wasn’t claustrophobic and both times he hadn’t felt afraid for himself but rather sick at the knowledge that he had failed. His job was to protect whoever he was with, and he couldn’t do that while he was shackled. But if it was Kamet in control of them—of him—
Kamet misread his silence. “Just if you want,” he said, hastily. “It’s up to you.”
Costis looked at him. “Would you like that?”
“Only if you would.”
He considered it again, picturing Kamet fastening them around his wrists, testing the strength of them and then telling him to kneel. He felt a surprising flicker of desire at the thought. He was bigger and stronger than Kamet, and Kamet had to accept on faith that he wouldn’t hurt him. Surely Costis could do the same.
“All right,” Costis said, nodding. “Let’s try it.”
*
It did not get off to a particularly smooth start. Costis watched as Kamet tested the keys several times—locking, unlocking, relocking—and then, prudently, did the same with the door to the room.
“Okay,” Kamet said finally, turning to him. “Ready?” He sounded the same as ever, and his hands had been steady with the keys, but Costis caught a flicker of nerves in his eyes. It was strangely endearing; by all rights, Costis was the one who should be nervous, but he found that he wasn’t, at all.
Costis nodded. He sat on the bed and held out his hands in front of him, and Kamet stood between his legs to fasten them. Costis tugged at them lightly to test their strength after the locks clicked into place. The cuffs were solid iron, braided in an elaborate pattern, with a thin strip of leather on the inside to keep the metal from chafing. The wrist sections barely fit him at their largest setting, and the braided pattern looked frankly ridiculous against his broad, freckled forearms. They had clearly been designed for someone a bit more decorative-looking than Costis—someone more like Kamet, perhaps, with his slight frame and delicate features and perfect, court-trained obedience.
Kamet was trying unsuccessfully to hide a laugh. “Try not to break them,” he said. “Gods know what your friends will come up with next. A flogger, perhaps.”
“If it’s a flogger, they will deeply regret it,” Costis said sharply, looking up to meet his eyes.
Kamet looked apologetic. “A blindfold, then?” He ran his fingers through Costis’s hair and Costis leaned automatically into the touch. “Although I suppose that would be an insult to one or the other of us.”
“Not to me. I always assumed that my good fortune was primarily due to your poor eyesight,” Costis said. “Although I’m starting to wonder if perhaps it was your poor judgment.”
“I do not have poor judgment,” Kamet said. “And can I point out that you’re the one in handcuffs right now.”
Costis grinned. “So,” he agreed, and Kamet laughed.
“So.” He leaned down and tilted Costis’s chin up with his hand and kissed him. Costis deepened the kiss, feeling a slow thrill of desire as Kamet ran his hands over his shoulders and chest. Kamet started to lift the hem of Costis’s shirt and then paused, pulling back.
Costis waited patiently while he considered the issue.
“The shirt could be a problem,” Kamet acknowledged.
Costis nodded solemnly. He couldn’t help thinking they were doing this wrong, and also couldn’t help a slight smile at the thought.
Kamet noticed and wrinkled his nose at him.
But he unlocked the cuffs again and tugged Costis to his feet. “You might as well take everything off,” he said, after a moment, more of a suggestion than a command.
Costis nodded and stripped down, trying not to feel self-conscious. He was half-hard already and they hadn’t even really done anything. It was just how his body had been trained to react–a room and Kamet and clothes coming off meant very good things were happening soon.
He started to reach for Kamet out of habit and then froze when Kamet took a slight step back and lifted an eyebrow.
“Sorry,” Costis said, flushing.
Kamet nodded. “Turn around,” he said, and the hint of suggestion that had been in his voice was no longer there. Costis turned.
He held very still while Kamet cuffed his hands behind his back, noticing more this time, the coolness of the metal, and the weight of it. The handcuffs weren’t as insubstantial as they had previously seemed. He felt surprisingly vulnerable with his hands locked behind him. If anyone needed his help, they would find themselves disappointed. Costis felt Kamet run his fingers briefly around the edge of the cuffs, checking that they weren’t pinching his wrists. The gentle touch felt good. There was an appealing and unexpected blankness at the edge of his mind.
Kamet tugged lightly at his shoulder, and Costis turned to face him again. He could feel the cuffs forcing him upright, pulling the muscles in his chest and shoulders taut; he had no choice but to stand at his full height, which was quite a bit taller than Kamet.
Kamet seemed uncharacteristically at a loss for words. His eyes were wide, lips slightly parted.
Costis couldn’t keep the corner of his mouth from tilting upward. “Barbarian?” he murmured.
Kamet’s eyes flicked to his, and Costis saw an answering spark of amusement in them at the old joke. “You can hardly blame me for my initial impression.” He stepped forward and ran his hand across Costis’s torso, brushing his fingers over the heavy, tensed muscles of his chest and shoulders, lingering on his biceps and forearms with almost academic curiosity.
“So—are you satisfied?” Costis said, meaning to tease. The question came out somewhat more sincerely than he’d intended.
Kamet tilted his head, considering. “I’m not sure if they’ll be strong enough.”
Costis tested them, feeling his muscles flex with the effort. There was no give whatsoever; the metal didn’t even creak. He shook his head. “I’m not getting out of these without the key.”
Kamet’s grip tightened, seemingly involuntarily, against his skin, but all he said was “Good,” in a mild tone that Costis nonetheless felt like a shiver across his body.
Kamet’s gaze had dipped lower, traveling slowly over Costis’s body and then coming back up. Costis flushed, overly aware of the fact that he was naked and Kamet was clothed.
He wanted, badly, for Kamet to touch him again, and figured he’d go with the quickest way. “Can I—should I kneel?” Recognizing as he said it that he was bending their unspoken rules slightly. It was surprisingly hard to give up control.
Kamet’s mouth quirked upward but he just said, “In a minute.” He stepped forward and kissed him, his hands coming up to tug Costis’s head down. Costis braced himself back against the wall, spreading his legs so that Kamet could stand between them. Costis felt nearly lightheaded at the sensation of Kamet’s body pressed against his, the softness and friction of cloth against his bare skin. He dropped his head to nuzzle at Kamet’s neck, enjoying how Kamet shivered at the light scrape of his teeth. He might not be able to use his hands, but he wasn’t totally helpless.
“Wait,” Kamet said, stepping back. He put his hands firmly against Costis’s chest and Costis stood very still, hoping he would come closer again. Kamet’s hand drifted lower, trailing lightly across Costis’s thigh and then his groin. Costis whimpered involuntarily, fighting the urge to thrust forward into his hand, to beg for Kamet to take the cuffs off and let Costis pin him down on the bed and fuck him.
He could tell that Kamet had noticed his muscles flex against the restraints because he smiled slightly. “I want to look at you some more.” He licked his palm, slow, and then wrapped his hand around Costis’s cock and Costis groaned, feeling his head drop back against the wall hard enough to hurt.
“Easy,” Kamet murmured, bringing his hand up to Costis’s chest to steady him. He was leaning into him, stroking him while holding him in place with his body. Costis could feel himself trembling all over, his hips moving desperate and out of rhythm.
“Kamet,” he said, in warning. He was going to fall over and crush Kamet in the process and there would be no one left to let him out of the handcuffs.
Kamet looked up at him and then deliberately shifted his grip. Costis’s hips hitched again and he groaned desperately.
“Please,” Costis managed. “Please. Kamet, just let me—“ He let his gaze fall so that that his meaning was clear; let his mouth part slightly.
There was a slight smile at the corner of Kamet’s mouth. He didn’t move his hand from where it was wrapped around Costis’s cock, stilled now, so that Costis could get no friction at all. Costis took a ragged breath. Normally by now he would have Kamet folded over the bed. As much as Kamet prickled at most people, he let Costis do…pretty much anything.
“Your mouth?” Kamet said. He tilted his head, teasing. “It might be difficult without using your hands.”
Costis nodded. He could imagine it—Kamet pressing hard and deep and relentless into his mouth, his hands fisted in his hair. He groaned softly at the thought, his hips jerking despite his best attempt to keep them still.
“And if I don’t let you? What will you do?”
Costis couldn’t think clearly; his brain was fuzzy. “Forgive you,” he said, unable to manage anything but honesty.
Kamet’s eyes widened slightly and then he laughed. “Gods above, you’re making this difficult, Costis,” he said, shaking his head, but his voice was affectionate, and he stretched up to kiss him, open-mouthed and deep. Costis felt a dizzying array of sensations, and then they all narrowed to one, the feeling of Kamet’s hand on his throat, possessive. Kamet stepped back to look at him.
“Go ahead, then,” he said.
Costis managed, ungracefully, to kneel—Kamet had to catch his arm to keep him from falling on his face. Kamet kept his free hand supporting him, tangled in his hair, while he undid the ties on his trousers one-handed. Costis pressed his face against Kamet’s thigh and waited, soothed by simply being able to be close to him.
Finally Kamet was ready. Costis looked up at him as he took his cock into his mouth, as slowly as he could manage. He couldn’t help showing off a little, teasing him; he could tell from the hitch in Kamet’s breathing that he wasn’t as collected as he was pretending to be.
Kamet saw the playful challenge in his eyes. The corner of his mouth tilted up in amusement and then he took Costis’s head in his hands, guiding him deeper. Costis pressed his tongue against the head briefly and then set to work, letting his eyes drift shut. He felt Kamet’s hand brush against his cheek, feeling where it was hollowed with the effort.
Kamet shuddered and pushed further in. It felt overwhelming in a good way, and when Kamet started to pull back he followed, glancing up at him. He heard Kamet gasp and felt his hand tighten hard in his hair and the other come up to brace firmly against the wall. Even kneeling, the handcuffs threw his balance off, and he found himself relying on Kamet’s hands to steady him. Finally he just let his eyes slip shut again and gave himself over it, opening his throat and letting Kamet control the rhythm.
He tasted salt and sensed Kamet was close to coming. Kamet’s hands loosened so that Costis could pull back if he wanted to. Instead, Costis stayed in place, unresisting, as Kamet gasped and he came hard down his throat, shuddering.
Kamet moved his hand to his face afterwards, stroking his cheek almost absentmindedly. Costis shifted forward to press a kiss against his thigh. Normally Costis would have caught Kamet’s hand with his own, but with his hands behind him he could only lean into his touch and hope he understood. He thought it worked; Kamet’s hand came to rest lightly in his hair. The typical words to this type of game--sir, or even master--flitted through his head. There was nothing that was quite right. All of those words were about power; none of them described how easily and willingly and completely he had given his heart to Kamet.
After a moment he felt Kamet grip his jaw and looked up at him.
Costis could feel that his lips were slightly swollen with use, and that his muscles were starting to tremble from tensing against the cuffs. He could tell Kamet saw it too; there was something gentle and almost solemn in his eyes.
“Stand up.”
Costis tried to obey and almost fell, his legs shaky. Kamet caught him as he swayed and turned him gently to face the wall again. He pressed his forehead against the cool surface and felt Kamet take hold of one of his wrists. He’d been close to coming just from having him in his mouth and the urge was still there, insistent. Normally he would have been able to touch himself, without thinking about it, or Kamet would have already— Kamet’s fingers brushed the insides of his palms excruciatingly lightly and his breath caught in a choked sob. He heard the click of the lock releasing.
“Easy.” Kamet’s voice was very gentle. “Come here.” His hand wrapped lightly around Costis’s forearm as he led him to the bed and sat him down. “Put your arms up, near the bed frame.”
Costis was past protesting. He nodded and stretched out, bringing both hands together above his head. He felt a twinge in his side and drew in a sharp breath. He had picked up a few new bruises in the training yard that afternoon when the practice sword had gone hard into his ribs and side. Not fractured, but likely to turn some impressive colors in a day or so.
“Costis.” Kamet sounded uncertain. “Are you okay? We don’t have to…I won’t fasten it, if this is too much.”
Costis shook his head. “It’s not too much.” He gripped the bars at the head of the bed, waiting for the click of the lock.
Kamet locked the cuffs back into place and then sat back, looking down at him. Not touching him. Costis felt himself flush slightly at the continued attention. He’d always thought of his body as essentially a tool—useful and effective, particularly at applying blunt force, but not particularly graceful, and certainly not beautiful. He had grown all at once at sixteen, and was still surprised by his own height sometimes. Even now he occasionally hit his head on things. It seemed like a miracle that Kamet liked it as much as he did.
Kamet had noticed the flush. “Always so modest,” he said, running his hand teasingly along his chest, lower. “You know you have nothing to be embarrassed of, right?”
Costis wasn’t sure if he could find the teasing tone that would match Kamet’s. The handcuffs were doing something strange to his brain. He didn’t feel vulnerable very often. When he was fighting, he often forgot that he could be hurt, only to be surprised later by a bruise or scrape that he couldn’t remember getting. He looked away, blinking hard. He could feel Kamet looking at him curiously.
Kamet ducked down and then Costis felt his mouth on him and groaned, trying not to jerk his hips up. It felt insanely good, the warm wet feeling of his mouth and his tongue. Costis jerked his wrists hard against the handcuffs, swearing slightly when they jerked him back.
Kamet looked up, mouth red. “That good?”
Costis nodded, breathless.
Kamet smiled quickly and went down again, teasing him by going deep and then shallow, pulling away, and Costis was groaning helplessly.
Finally Kamet pulled off all together and took him in his hand instead.
“Look at me,” he said softly. Costis met his eyes. He could feel his hands clenched hard with the effort not to come, could tell that he was panting, completely under Kamet’s control. After a few slow, expert strokes, Kamet ducked down again, alternating with his hand and his mouth until Costis groaned and came in a long, helpless rush that left his whole body shuddering even after it was done.
*
Kamet left the cuffs on while he cleaned Costis off. He looked at him warily after he took them off, as though he expected Costis to roll over and pin him.
Costis was too sated and exhausted; he nuzzled at him lightly, wanting to feel his hands in his hair. Kamet laughed and stroked his head. “Worn out?”
Costis nodded. He pushed himself up to lean against pillows and then reached over to tuck his fingers through Kamet’s.
Kamet ran his hand over Costis’s wrists—there were red marks in the skin. “You should have told me they were hurting you.”
Costis shook his head. “Maybe when I pulled against them—I didn’t feel it.”
“Ah yes, nothing hurts an Attolian soldier,” Kamet said teasingly. He kissed the red marks. “Maybe no more handcuffs, then?”
Costis thought about it. “I don’t mind them. Especially if it helped show…” He hesitated.
Kamet looked at him curiously.
“I can wear them again, but you don’t need them for me. I would do—anything for you. If you want me to not touch you, to kneel on the ground. To beg. I’ll do it.” He flushed slightly at the thought.
Kamet nodded. “I feel the same,” he said softly. “You don’t need them for me.”
Costis reached out to touch him carefully, the place where a chain had lain for so many years. He could feel Kamet’s pulse beating fast under his fingers. He had wondered how it would feel for Kamet, to wear Costis’s ring. Whether it would bring back those memories.
Kamet was watching him, dark-eyed and quiet.
“Two lives intertwined,” Costis said softly. The phrase was part of the vows they had said.
Kamet’s mouth tilted up slightly in recognition, and then he kissed him.
That had also been part of the vows.
***