Work Text:
DECEMBER 26 , 2027
The first snow of the winter falls outside as they lay in bed, lights dimmed low. Beomgyu finds it fascinating how the snowflakes descend with no discernible pattern, turning into brown mush once they hit the pavement outside.
To his left, Taehyun's eyes are half-lidded and it’s a bit hard to register if he’s awake or if he’s just sleeping with his eyes open yet again.
‘Taehyun,’ Beomgyu nudges him softly under the covers with his knee. ‘it’s snowing.’
‘I know, I can see,’ he responds back. And then softer, ‘dumbass.’
Oh yeah, his eyes are open indeed, as he rubs them and yawns, from a lack of sleep. He kicks his legs around to stretch and curls a lazy arm around Beomgyu, unfocused on the change of the seasons that delightfully enthrall Beomgyu so much. Beomgyu pouts a little but decides to let it go.
The snow falls down heavier now, the windowpane soon covered in a bleak contrast of white.
It’s moments like these Beomgyu wishes he could keep forever.
Still, just like the change of scenery outside he can feel the chapter of this novel turn inside too. He mildly wonders which one of them will break it up this time; a second later Taehyun unwraps himself from Beomgyu, Christmas adorned Santa socks touching the floor.
Today, Beomgyu gets his answer early.
Taehyun points to the window, scratches his belly a centimeter from where his gray sweatpants hang absurdly low, and gathers his stuff to leave.
‘I better go. This used to be easier when we were at the dorms, ’ he says with a chuckle, door slamming shut.
‘Yeah,’ Beomgyu says, when the front door closes and there’s no one around to hear him.
As if everything used to be easier back then.
February 1 , 2026
It’s Taehyun who shoves him into the wall at the dormitory. Twenty-five years old and too old to be traipsing around like this, secretive little schoolboys locked away in a boarding school closet. Beomgyu’s head hits the doorframe and he winces, touching the back of it, feeling lightheaded.
The way Taehyun looks at him in a chauvinistic manner, like a carnivorous animal hunting his prey makes his head spin more and he can only hold on to Taehyun’s shoulders lightly to keep himself from falling to the ground.
Taehyun’s littering his neck with soft little pliant kisses, too absorbed with the curvature of Beomgyu’s neck in his hold to notice the amount of pain Beomgyu’s in.
Beomgyu knows then, that he’s too sober for this.
Still, he says nothing, closes his eyes when Taehyun takes the lead, finally kisses him on the lips, labors his tongue into Beomgyu’s mouth, messy, horny, and inquisitive all at once.
Suddenly, Taehyun breaks away, searching for Beomgyu’s soul in the depth of his eyes.
‘Beomgyu hyung, what are we?’
‘Does it matter?’
Beomgyu figures it’s always going to be like this. Something undefined. Something he’ll always struggle to grapple with. From band members to friends to this unquantifiable desire to be something more.
Taehyun dominates the space between the two of them, defines it for them, sliding a hand low, tugging Beomgyu’s track pants down.
He doesn’t break eye contact when he does it – jacking Beomgyu off with his left hand without much rhythm, unable to figure out how to finesse the hold of a dick that isn’t his own. Still, Beomgyu lurches from the sensation, on the tips of his toes, eyes squeezing shut, clenched jaw resting on Taehyun’s shoulder for comfort.
Bandmate of ten years, massaging his erection in his grasp, pumping him with concentrated effort, until a slick of sweat furrows his brow and Beomgyu crumbles to the ground, a nasty stain of cum oozing out onto Taehyun’s open hands and onto the carpet floor below.
Good thing they were all finally moving out of the dorms at the end of the year into their own places, respectively.
Thank you, HYBE!
Later, dorm still vacant with the members off at schedules, Taehyun back hugs Beomgyu into his bedroom, their feet clumsily toppling over each other. He bites Beomgyu’s ear right below his ear piercing, licks his temple in a hurry, and tosses him onto the bed.
It feels like a time lapse, the course of ten years taking place as Taehyun hovers over him, looking dangerously close to saying the words Beomgyu never wants to hear: (I love you)
Taehyun looks equally fifteen and twenty four at once. Eager and green, naïve and ambitious. The boy from across the practice room who had a penchant for physical fitness and belting his heart out during karaoke sessions.
‘Taehyun, ’ Beomgyu chooses his words slowly, as Taehyun fumbles to take his shirt off, ab-defined chest eating up the walls in the room; making Beomgyu nauseously claustrophobic, ‘promise me you won’t say a word to the other members about this. Like ever, okay?’
Taehyun looks hurt, offended. Beomgyu can see it all at once, every questionable second they ever encountered together framed in confusion, stitched in his knitted eyebrows.
Still, Taehyun complies, his heavier frame surrounding Beomgyu in one go, kissing his lips so softly, Beomgyu feels like he’s kissing air.
‘You smell like like a girl,’ Taehyun moans, words guttural from the back of his throat.
Beomgyu allows himself to clasp his fingers into Taehyun’s hair, squeezing it until it hurts.
‘It’s Versace’s Bright Crystal. My mom’s favorite,’ Beomgyu whispers.
Taehyun retreats for a second.
‘Let's not talk about your mom right now, okay hyung.’
‘Okay. Only if you promise to stop calling me hyung in situations like this.’
Taehyun smiles.
And Beomgyu smiles back.
APRIL 17, 2025
There’s charcoal stuck in his nostrils. This barbecue place has the worst ventilation, honestly and really, they’ve got to stop letting the maknae pick their celebratory locations after all these years.
Beomgyu pecks at his food, not feeling hungry. He’s made the classical error of drinking soju before the bossam is ready and now his tummy is swirling with liquor, no room for the smoky meat grilling, steaming, burning.
Across from the table Taehyun sits, with his legs splayed out, arms over the backrest of his chair, the bridge of his cap covering his forehead, as he frowns while Hueningkai burns another piece of meat. Beomgyu can barely make out the brim of his eyebrows, cast in a dark light from the vent overhead.
It bothers him, deeply.
Soobin pinches his arm. Hard.
Taehyun looks over at them for a mere second, then goes back to watching Hueningkai, flicking the atrophy flaring up on his neck with the back of his hand like he usually does.
‘Beomgyu,' Soobin whispers, quite aggressively, spit clobbering the inside of Beomgyu’s innocent ear, ‘it’s been almost ten years. Can you just fuck him, get it over with, out of your system, and let the group have a peaceful meal for once in our lifetime?’
“I didn’t do anything! Like at, all.’ Beomgyu squirms in his seat, incredulous.
‘That's exactly my point.’
‘And I’m straight, just for the record,’ Beomgyu hisses back, not mad when a piece of his saliva dings Soobin square in the nose.
‘That's exactly my point too. ’
Beomgyu thinks about it, entirely unsure if this is something that could be easily resolved like that. Somewhere in the pit of his stomach, he knows that this is deeper than a quick fuck.
Fuck.
It’s complicated.
March 30 , 2024
‘Beomgyu’s a little shit,’ Yeonjun says, twirling the ice in his empty cup of coffee around. The others laugh in response. The cameras are around the rental house, recording their every move and Yeonjun knows this, knows this will get edited out.
When Beomgyu makes his presence known in the room, walking behind Yeonjun and Hueningkai audibly gasps, Yeonjun doesn’t even care, doesn’t turn around.
‘It’s not fair how mean he gets to me,' Beomgyu’s tucked himself into a bed in one of the VRBO bedrooms they are recording at for the weekend. He doesn’t bother to look at who has shut the door to know it’s Taehyun by the way he scuttles his feet across the floor, approaching Beomgyu carefully, ‘it was just a prank. How come he didn’t get mad at any of you?’
‘You’re kind of an asshole though Beomgyu .’ His words are crunchy, splice through the air, all painful. ‘C’mon, you have to admit it, sometimes .’
Beomgyu says nothing back, hides his head under the cover.
Filming be damned. He just wants to be alone and D-I-E.
A body wraps around his under the covers, strong leg day!!! legs circling around his feeble ones. The plaid blanket bunches up around their intertwined toes.
‘Taehyun, ’ Beomgyu whispers, voice raspy, evidently worried that Taehyun or himself would pop an unexpected-my-bandmate-is-manhandling-me-boner, ‘we’re filming.’
‘So?’
Beomgyu leans over a little, can smell the faint hint of "barley tea" on Taehyun's breath.
It’s annoying when Taehyun gets like this, uses drinking as an excuse to nuzzle his nose into the nape of Beomgyu’s neck, place a flat palm over the bridge of his chest, and spoon him.
His arms are so big and wiry and Beomgyu fits so perfectly inside of them. Ugh.
‘You really think I’m an asshole, ’ Beomgyu tries to cut the tension in the air between them, tries to get Taehyun to stop falling asleep before he gets the chance.
Beomgyu looks over at the corner of the room. Taehyun had turned the lights are off when he entered, but the camera’s monitor light is still green, recording them. Beomgyu wonders vaguely how they will show this; or if they’ll completely edit it out.
Probably not as engaging as the bird in a hat prank Beomgyu had spearheaded earlier.
'Only sometimes,' Taehyun mutters, already drifting to sleep.
Beomgyu turns around when he’s sure Taehyun’s soft breathing means he’s asleep, gently shoves him off.
He’s nodding off with his eyes open again.
Double ugh!
FEBRUARY 22 , 2023
He’s drinking too much. They all are. Concert after concert, tour after tour, country after fucking country; what city were they in today?
Beomgyu checks his phone, everything looking hazy. Shit. He can’t even remember his passcode.
He lays down on the hotel bed, not even sure whose room it is. Between his feet he can see the others, lumped together on the sofa, fighting over the game controllers, hard liquors being passed around like bottles of fancy wines, almost empty, the smells of cheese buldak carbonara filling the room.
Someone lunges at him, WWE smackdown time, elbow to the chin, bulky thighs imprisoning his lithe frame, toned arms pinning him down like a lifeless doll.
Beomgyu can’t move, has no desire to.
The curtains by the balcony in the room are a peachy color of tan and Beomgyu can see the entire skyline of the nameless city outside of them while his hair is getting crushed against the bedframe’s headboard.
‘Taehyunnie, get off me. Please.’ Weak.
‘You’re too easy, hyung.’
Beomgyu closes his eyes, wills the room to stop turning. Taehyun has latched his whole body above him, using taekwondo techniques against him as if Beomgyu has any intention of fighting him back.
‘I’m drunk as a skunk, Taehyun,’ Beomgyu says. He’d been trying to turn on Weverse live two minutes ago, wonders if he’s recording this. Oh no, because he couldn’t find his passcode.
Because he’s absolutely knackered, hammered, unable to squirm, because Taehyun's holding him down with every power move in his body.
‘Say the magic word, and I’ll let you go.’
‘Magic,’ Beomgyu says. He looks up, eyes fluttering underneath his eyelashes. Taehyun looks different in this light above him, chin jutted out, eyebrows indented, like he’s waiting for something more.
Taehyun makes a move to get off him eventually, lingering one second too long when he locks eyes with Beomgyu, painstakingly so.
Beomgyu coughs, doesn’t miss the unmistakable feeling of Taehyun getting fully erect under his jersey shorts against Beomgyu’s leg before he pushes himself to the side, with a small pant of breath.
From the other side of the room on the sofa Hueningkai screams, winning the round of Mario Kart against Soobin.
SEPTEMBER 20, 2022
It’s not really clear who let Yeonjun drive.
And why Hueningkai’s birthday wish was a group day trip to Daegu, Beomgyu’s hometown.
Yeonjun and Soobin squabble over control of the radio in the front, Hueningkai in the back middle continually hunched over the armrests trying to also provide input with his curated road trip playlist going to waste.
Beomgyu keeps his window down, 50% to let his arm out and feel the rush of breeze he can’t feel in Seoul, the other 50% to drown out the battle of the music noise dispelling from the front.
This sedan is far too small for the five of them. Five now grown men all over the height of 5’10”, Hueningkai’s lanky legs towering over Beomgyu’s side so he can manspread comfortably for the duration of four hours in a car ride, and Soobin’s miscellaneous potato chip missing his mouth going over the passenger seat and falling into Beomgyu’s hair from the open wind leaves Beomgyu with a deep heaving sigh.
This felt different than the car scenes they filmed for 0X1 = LOVE SONG.
More annoying perhaps.
A hand reaches over for his, extends his own arm over the expanse of Hueningkai’s back.
Taehyun.
Beomgyu leans back into his seat so he can see better and Taehyun does the same from the other side of Hueningkai with a toothy grin.
Beomgyu watches as Taehyun’s bigger hand envelopes around his scrawny one, slender fingers interloping together. Beomgyu absent-mindedly fidgets with the silver ring on Taehyun’s index finger, drowning out the cacophony of Soobin, Yeonjun and Hueningkai all trying to out-sing each other.
Hueningkai’s spine keeps concaving in between them as he laughs like a hyena; their hands clasped behind him for eternity. Three hours to go.
Romantic as hell.
MAY 13 , 2021
When Beomgyu enters the dressing room, all coquettish, self-consciously touching his hair, someone whistles in the back. A manager, probably, teasing him.
They all do it. He’s so easy to tease.
Still, he approaches his members slowly, taking in all of their reactions to the style.
Wolfcut, blunt bangs, wispy silver fox and jet black extensions mixed in with his real hair.
It’s a serve.
They all clap, mockingly, but beam in adulation.
‘This is gonna be your year,’ Hueningkai places a proud hand on Beomgyu’s butt. He’s always been so nice.
Yeonjun comes over and gives Beomgyu’s shoulder a tight grip.
‘Choi Beomgyu, have you been working out?’
‘I’ve been waking up early at 4 A.M to go to the gym every morning with Taehyun,’ Beomgyu flexes a little, feels his face flush. You know, for the fans.
Another round of applause, some oohs and ahhs.
Beomgyu doesn’t miss the way Taehyun never comes over, sitting on the hairdresser's counter, equally red in the face, looking at Beomgyu like he was a foreign inanimate object.
It makes Beomgyu’s stomach feel all sorts of funny.
JULY 3 , 2020
He stands on the rooftop after practice, admiring the high rises amongst the smog in Seoul.
Around him a flume of cherry blossom pink smoke exudes as if he’s in the main figure of a painting.
‘I wish you wouldn’t smoke,’ a voice chides softly from behind, a gentle tug on his waist urging him to step down from the ledge.
Taehyun.
It’s too dangerous at the edge, building too old. They’d be moving soon.
H-Y-B-E
Pretty, shiny, all things new. Eye roll.
‘Vaping hardly counts.’
‘It’s bad for your throat and debilitating when you sing live.’
Beomgyu scoffs, ‘I’m hardly a singer. I’d need lines to do that.’
Still, he steps off the ledge, doesn’t want to worry Taehyun more.
When he turns, Taehyun looks at Beomgyu like he’s the most fragile thing in existence. Like he’s going to fall apart right in front of him. He’s taken in the sunken expression of his face, the hollows of his cheeks, the way his veins are translucent green.
‘When was the last time you slept, hyung?’
Beomgyu tries to remember.
And can’t.
Taehyun pulls him in for a hug, shows a rare glimpse of vulnerability. He winces at how thin Beomgyu feels in his hold, bones and not a single inch of fat left on his small frame.
'I wish you could feel like you could tell me things, hyung. Anything.'
‘I tell you things…sometimes,’ Beomgyu shrugs. The way Taehyun holds him is practically suffocating, and he can hardly feel any space in his lungs.
‘The world could end tomorrow.’
‘Life isn’t one of your philosophical books, Taehyun. You can’t solve everything.’
In the distance, the sun is finally setting, creating a hazy glow around the rooftop. Taehyun lets go of Beomgyu, reluctantly, looking like he’s on the verge of crying.
‘I want to be a safe space for you.’
Beomgyu, a bit daft, replies wholeheartedly, ‘You’re my bandmate.’
November 22 , 2019
Another rookie award.
Beomgyu reaches for Taehyun’s hand when their name gets mentioned for the nominees. He takes a big breath, can practically feel Taehyun breathing too through the tips of his fingers when their name is announced as the winners!
Soobin gives Beomgyu a hug, and then all five of them are hugging like it’s the first time.
Everything is a blur after that. Walking to the stage, bowing to their sunbae-nims, someone handing him a bouquet of flowers backstage.
Someone hands Taehyun a box of chocolates; he places it in Beomgyu’s hand, asks him to open it up.
‘You know hyung, it’s kinda funny how people think you’re younger than me and Hueningkai.’
‘What?’
‘Like you’re the maknae of the group. That actress right now just pinched your cheeks like you’re a baby.’
Beomgyu giggles, then feels his earlobes go hot red.
‘Maybe she just thought I was cute or something.’
Taehyun makes a face. Gross.
Someone else puts another box of congratulatory chocolates in Taehyun's lap and he opens it up with ease.
Beomgyu laughs. A lot. Out loud. The others look at him, shaking their head.
Beomgyu being Beomgyu.
'I guess I’m not the only one who acts like the youngest.’
Taehyun looks bewildered. Beomgyu reaches over, tickles the bottom of his chin.
JANUARY 4 , 2018
Everyone’s fighting these days.
Sick of each other in the dorms, sick of each other in the studio, definitely sick of each other in the practice room where they have to look at each other in the mirror, see each other’s stinky faces, smell it too, fourteen hours straight.
'I DON’T WANT TO PRACTICE ANYMORE!' Beomgyu whines, no, screams, voice all hoarse, like a petulant child.
Yeonjun laughs, looks over at Soobin – you gonna take care of that, ever so gallant leader?
Hueningkai leaves the room, poor baby tearing up.
‘Just shup up!’ Taehyun shoves Beomgyu straight into the chest. Beomgyu stumbles backwards.
Sure they are both thin, but Beomgyu’s definitely the thinner of the two – only a strong motor mouth to back himself up.
‘You’ve been fucking annoying this entire week, and I’m tired of Hueningkai crying in the dormitory. I want to practice, and then I want to sleep! You’re not the only one who exists, Choi Beomgyu.’
Yeonjun laughs again from the water cooler. Soobin watches from the sideline with the staff, pulling his hair out.
STRESSED.
Tomorrow x Together, over before they know it.
Beomgyu stays quiet. His chest hurts from where Taehyun pushed him, red and swollen.
Dramatic, much?
‘I don’t want to practice anymore!’ he cries again, louder than before at the top of his lungs, challenging Soobin, challenging the staff to come over and give him a good whooping. Maybe if he’s loud enough he’ll get his wish. People have gotten kicked out of groups for far less. Taehyun straightens his posture, flexes the muscles in his arm.
You know things are bad when Taehyun loses his cool.
‘I didn’t sign my life away and practice this hard for you to squander it all on a fucking stupid temper tantrum,’ he retorts back, pulling Beomgyu by his collar again, kissing him smack dab on the lips, in front of everyone like two characters in a Hollywood rom-com.
Only there is no happy ending. Taehyun pulls back finally, leaving Beomgyu standing there, open-mouthed and confused, others in the room hollering and clapping.
Soobin, the leader, finally speaks up, ‘Okay breaktime over! Everyone back to practice!’
And it’s never spoken of again. Probably because it worked with Beomgyu being speechless, having nothing left in the world to say.
JUNE 15, 2017
‘I can’t believe I actually finished writing the song,’ Beomgyu exhales, toppling his face dramatically over the key console.
From inside the recording studio, Taehyun takes off his Bose headphones and gives him a thumbs up.
‘The Maze in the Mirror,’ Taehyun repeats the name, exits the studio and sits next to Beomgyu on the sofa, giving his thigh a small squeeze.
‘Do you think we will ever actually record and release it?’
Taehyun shrugs, smile hopeful.
‘We can do anything hyung. We’re almost there. Can’t you feel it?’
Beomgyu smiles back. He likes this part of Taehyun. The optimistic, hard working side. Never give up, never back down.
Beomgyu places his baseball cap backwards, familiar logo of the Los Angeles Dodgers fading to the background. He picks up his guitar, strums it a little, places his chin at the edge to rest.
He tries to imagine what life would be like soon.
Tomorrow x Together, five members side by side, touring the world, Taehyun next to him for eternity, singing the songs he produces.
It’s not such a bad picture.
Taehyun snatches the guitar away from Beomgyu, strums a couple of chords.
It’s unfair, really, how talented he is at with everything he touches.
OCTOBER 16 , 2016
Somehow, meeting the two of them is more intimidating than the casting director who gave him the good news, ‘You’re in.’
Yeonjun stands there when the grown-ups leave, unimpressed, arms crossed, upper lip perched to the side. His eyes say it all.
How could this stick for legs little round fluffball be the missing piece of the puzzle for the group.
Him, really?
Taehyun gives Beomgyu the same eye stare, slightly taller than him. There’s a sheen of sweat dropping from his forehead; Beomgyu had just watched him ace a five minute piece of choreography from the side of the practice room alongside the other set of trainees who had passed the auditions.
He reaches over, and for a second, Beomgyu thinks it’s to shake hands, only for Taehyun to ruffle his hair, like a child in the playground. He probably doesn't realize that Beomgyu's a year older yet. But hey, semantics.
'Welcome to the team,' he says. 'Tomorrow x Together.'
Beomgyu, if he’s being honest, thinks his nose is quite funny. Bulbous and large; takes up half of his face. But still, he’d remember him.
Kang Taehyun.
The one who danced amazing, the one who practiced well, the one who you could hear singing from down the hallway, rooms away.
The kid who's going to change the trajectory of his life.