Chapter Text
Kou realized how pathetic he really was at that moment. He sat across from his highschool bestfriend, despite the fact that he hadn't showered for weeks and his clothes were dirty- in a Burger King of all places. No, nevermind, he was actually dressed for that setting; he fit right in with the rest of the college dropouts and lowlifes that hung out there. Nene didn't though.
She looked cute that day; her long hair was tied up in pigtails, and she was wearing a black dress that rested just above her knees, a light wash jean jacket over top. She smelt like daisies and powdered sugar, and definitely hadn't been sleeping in her car for the past few months. Unlike Kou, who felt like utter shit and definitely looked like it too.
He hadn't seen Yashiro Nene in months because he was too ashamed of himself to hold a conversation with her, (and because she had better things to do, like that new boyfriend of hers, and the degree of Biology she was pursuing). What were they supposed to talk about now?
When they were in highschool, which felt like such a long time ago when in reality, he would have been a freshman in college, it felt like even though they were so different, they never felt bored with each other. There was never a dull moment when they hung out; one of them always had a delima and together, they kicked ass. Partners in crime down to the last second of their graduation ceremony.
There was a time where he felt comfortable telling Nene everything, and she did the same, but now, he couldn't even look her in the eyes. Mostly because he knew exactly what those eyes would hold.
Pity.
Five months into college, Kou dropped out. That's when his dad kicked him out and cut off all financial support. He said something like, "if you're not going to contribute something of worth to this family, you will not reep the benefits of it!"
Imagine that in your best stern father voice.
It wasn't really that out of character for Kou, as the family disappointment (maybe that's being a bit dramatic, but it's true), but what he wasn't expecting was the reactions of his siblings.
Tiara helped him pack, but she was dead silent. Teru looked like he wanted to object to their father's wishes, but that was it. A look. He did nothing.
They've tried to reach out to him after that, but, well, how could he face them now? He didn't even know how he managed to face Nene at that moment. Oh right, it wasn't by choice. She wore him down.
He tried to do the same thing he did with his family, but it didn't work with Nene. Sure, they drifted apart after going into University, but Nene was persistent, and almost got him on a whole other level. It was like she sensed something was wrong, and she was right. Something was wrong.
So after weeks, and weeks, and weeks of non-stop calling and texting, Kou couldn't ignore his bestfriend anymore. He had to say something. He had to face her. And he really wasn't ready for it.
In his mind, ever since they'd decided to meet up, he was preparing for the worst. All the resentment and jealousy he might feel toward her, after seeing her thriving in person. All the feelings of dissatisfaction and self-loathing that comes after the jealousy. And of course, the pity. But he truly could never be prepared for what he'd see.
She looked so… put together. So invincible, and bright. She looked nothing like the clumsy, fumbling girl he'd known in highschool, though he could tell she still had the same heart. A heart that's strong and determined, no matter how unsure of herself she might've felt. And it was too much to take.
Seeing her only reminded him of how weak he was, and how much he failed at succeeding in the real world. He felt incredibly self-consous, like everyone in that stupid unclean Burger King was looking at him, watching as his life fell apart.
When he finally looked up to meet her eyes, they were clouded with concern.
"Would you like to order something, Kou?" She offered, peering over at the glowing menu above the cashiers.
The empty wallet in Kou's pocket burned through his track pants. He tore his eyes away from her again.
"No thanks," he said causally. He knew she hadn't bought the act.
"If it's because of money, I don't mind getting us both something-" she began, but Kou was quick to cut her off.
"No, no, no! It's fine, I don't want anything anyways!" He tried his best to smile, but it felt obviously fake on his lips.
Nene slumped in her seat and frowned.
"Kou…" she started, locking him into her gaze again, "I'm worried about you."
He looked down at his hands in his lap, shame washing over him. Her statement was so simple, yet so honest, and he remembered the person he was feeling such malice for still seemed to care about him unconditionally, and it broke him. He couldn't bare to look at her while she spoke.
"You're… you're living in your car, you look like you haven't showered in weeks, no offense, and for all I know, you still don't have a job and have been going hungry, or cold, or thirsty, or you've gotten blackmailed by some greedy person after you had no other choice but to sell drugs on the street or kill a man OR both because you just have nowhere else to go!" Nene's sentence turned into a panicked frenzy, and people at nearby tables started to give them weird looks.
She sighed, releasing most of her worked up energy.
"Look, Kou," he felt like he had no other choice, so he listened, taking his eyes off his lap, "I know you like to do things on your own, and you really pride yourself in being the guy who takes care of other people, not the guy that needs to be taken care of, but- everybody's that guy sometimes. It's okay to be that guy sometimes. And I just want you to be alright, you know? But I can't help you be alright if you don't let me help you in the first place!" She pleaded.
He wanted to open his mouth and say something, but it just hung open agape, waiting for words that never rolled off his tongue.
Nene sighed again. "You know, you could always live with me and my boyfriend for a bit. Just a couple weeks so you can get on your feet."
That got him alert. That was absolutely the last thing he wanted to happen.
"Nene, I can't ask that of you-"
"No, don't even start. Please, Kou. Do this for me? I want to help you-" the sound of an upbeat pop song and buzzing interrupted their conversation, coming from inside Nene's purse.
"Oh, shoot," she grumbled, digging around and pulling out her flip phone. She looked at Kou one more time before answering, almost as if to ask if it was alright. Kou nodded.
"Hello? What do you want now, Amane?" She answered.
Amane.
Right, that was her boyfriend. Kou hadn't met him yet but he'd heard a lot of conflicting things about him. Nene seemed to bounce between two ultimatums about the man she was dating; the first being that he was an annoying asshole, and the second being he was a charming dork she couldn't live without. Which one was true, he didn't know.
But the phone call was enough to snap him back into reality. For a second there, he was actually considering accepting her help. But he was reminded that Nene was a promising young woman, close to being on the honors roll at her school, who had great friends, and a boyfriend she loved, and a life outside of Kou that'd probably be ten times better without a lame free loading kid like Kou leeching off of her kindness.
If he wasn't strong enough to pull himself out of this rut himself, then he didn't deserve any help in the first place.
He got up out of his seat, and gestured behind himself to the washrooms to Nene, who was busy bickering through her phone, but it seemed like she got the message. He walked defeatedly to the men's room, pushing open the door.
Inside, he saw a sight he would have never expected to see in a Burger King bathroom. On the floor near the furthest stalls, a man that must've been about Kou's age sat curled into himself on the floor, holding his arms to his chest. He had shoulder length hair that was dyed pink, and had striking androgynous features that made Kou sure he must've been mistaken for a girl when he was younger.
‘Seriously, you thought I was a girl?’ A voice he recalled in his head repeated itself, from a memory he might've tucked away a long time ago.
‘Hey! It was an honest mistake! Anyone would've thought the same!’
His jawline had gotten sharper than before, and he'd certainly grown taller yet lean, but Kou expected that, since the last time they'd seen each other was middle school, and now they were eighteen. And now one of them was on the floor of a fast food place crying. He wore a gray sweatshirt and black ripped jeans, and even though his nose was running and his eyes were super red and he definitely looked just as bad as Kou did, he still thought he looked beautiful. That was his mistake.
The person who was whimpering on the ground was named Mitsuba, and Kou felt like slapping himself for running into him right now, of all times. But he was upset, Kou couldn't just ignore him. Especially since Mitsuba heard the door open, and turned his head around to look at Kou.
Yeah, he definitely couldn't just turn around and walk out the door. Could you imagine that? ‘Hey ex-friend/confusing exploration partner! I'm totally not homeless and came in here to cry in the bathroom, but it looks like you stole my plan anyways! See you later, buddy!’
"Mitsuba?" He gaped, still standing in the doorway as the door fell closed behind him.
Mitsuba's eyes widened, and he quickly looked back to himself, and then to Kou, before quickly wiping his eyes.
"D- do I know you?" He said, gathering himself and trying to push his body off the floor. It didn't work. So he shielded his face away from Kou instead.
"Yeah, it's me! Minamoto Kou!" Kou explained, walking towards Mitsuba.
Mitsuba glared over his shoulder.
"Who?" It sounded more annoyed and threatening than like an actual question, but Kou stopped himself from caring and answered anyway. That was just how Mitsuba always acted.
"We went to middle school together. We were friends. Don't you remember making fun of the earrings I used to wear?" Normally Kou wouldn't bring up something that got him so bullied over, especially by Mitsuba, but if it sparked his memory, it was worth it.
Mitsuba stared at him for a moment longer before turning his gaze back in front of himself.
"Oh. Right. That was you,” he grumbled.
"Yup, that was me!" Kou grinned, propping himself up against the sinks.
"So, are you alright? Why were you crying there?" He asked.
Mitsuba's head jolted rapidly to the side, and he clutched his hands and arms closer to his chest as he glared at Kou. It was almost as if he was holding something.
"I wasn't crying!" Mitsuba defended, even though it was clearly a blatant lie. "And mind your own business, anyways! Go take a shit, and get out of here!"
Kou frowned.
"Still have a terrible attitude, huh?" He said, a little pissed himself. He was just trying to be nice. He had every right to be concerned.
"Yes, a great reason you should leave me alone, so scram!"
Kou noticed something in that second he couldn't believe he missed before, maybe because he was shocked seeing Mitsuba after so long, so he completely ignored it; on the side of Mitsuba's face was a bruise, one purple and large, and it engulfed a good part of his right cheek with its swollen exterior. Now Kou was really concerned. Something wasn't right.
"Who did that to you?" It wasn't a question, but a demand. He felt immediately angry at the person who might've done that to his old friend, whether they'd talked to each other in years or not. Whether they left each other on bad terms or not.
Mitsuba snapped his face away immediately.
"N- nobody! So don't even think about playing hero! I remember how holier than thou you acted back in middle school, you're probably still exactly the same!"
"You're full of shit."
"You need to leave me the fuck alone. I won't ask again, go away! Stop sticking your nose in my business when we're practically strangers!"
"Sousuke!" His words didn't even have time to sting as a voice came from the door, and someone opened it.
Another guy with brown hair neatly cut and sharp eyes that seemed to pierce into anything he looked at. He didn't seem to notice Kou was there.
"I'm sorry about your camera, I'll get you a new one, I just wasn't thinking straight-" he stopped apologizing as soon as he saw Kou. His eyes bounced between them, and his expression hardened as his gaze landed on Kou.
"What's going on here?" He accused, letting go of the door and walking forward. He was a couple inches taller than Kou.
Mitsuba quickly swept himself up from the floor.
"Nothing, babe, I promise. Let's just get out of here," he rushed toward the other man, and Kou finally caught a glimpse of what he was holding to his chest- a camera, an expensive one too- and it looked like it'd been thrown into the wall, or maybe stepped on.
The guy with the dagger eyes slipped his arm around Mitsuba's shoulder, and the two started to walk out.
"Okay, let's go then," as he said it, he looked back over his shoulder at Kou, like he was suspicious of him. If anything, he and Mitsuba were the suspicious ones, not Kou. They seemed like a disaster waiting to happen, or maybe one that already did, seeing from the bruise on Mitsuba's cheek, and the way that guy's arm clasped around his shoulders, almost possessively.
But whatever. It wasn't Kou's problem. If Mitsuba didn't want to accept Kou's help, than Kou wouldn't give it to him. But even after he walked back to his and Nene's table, he couldn't curb the uneasy feeling in his gutt. The feeling that something very bad was going to be happening to his ex-friend very soon.
Nene looked guilt ridden. Anxious in her seat, she jittered around, tapping her thighs with her hands. There were two cups of soda on the table.
"I'm sorry Kou, but I have to go. Amane locked my cat in the pantry, and I know he'll try to pick the lock and end up burning down the apartment with my cat still inside if I don't go over there right now," she confessed, smiling nervously.
"He did what?!" Was all Kou could reply with. Nene was quick to clarify.
"Not on purpose!" She said, before narrowing her eyes, "allegedly."
Kou guessed it was better not to press further.
"Well… it's okay, Nene. Thanks for seeing me anyways,” he said, watching as she returned his smile. Hers seemed genuine, maybe a little relieved, but still sad. He didn't like seeing her sad. Especially when it was because of him.
"Of course, Kou. We need to hang out more." Nene began to get up, grabbing her drink and slinging her purse around her shoulder. “My offer still stands, by the way. If you ever need a place to stay, or a loan, or just somebody to talk to, I'm always here for you, Kou. Don't hesitate to ask."
"I know,” he replied, but he also knew he'd still never ask.
They stood there for a moment, standing and staring at each other. She wanted to hug him, and he definitely wouldn't turn her away if she tried, but it felt too personal for them now. It felt too awkward.
"W- well, see you later, Kou." Nene waved goodbye, but like she needed his permission, waited to start walking away.
"See you later, Nene,” he smiled, and waved back. She finally started walking away, and Kou was left with an empty feeling, and a drink he didn't feel worthy enough to take a sip of. Silly, right?
He picked it up anyway, and walked out of the Burger King. Instead of driving his car there, he had walked, like he tried to do when he went anywhere without fail. Since he didn't have an income, gas money was kind of scarce, so he tried to save his gas by only driving his shitty cabreo when he absolutely had to- otherwise it was used as a roof over his head.
When he got back to the street side he parked his car at, he shuffled through the back seat to find the bulk pack of cup-o-noodles he'd been eating every night for dinner. It was cheap, and efficient, though he'd be lying if he didn't say he was starting to get tired of it. He realized he'd need to boil water just as he successfully grabbed a cup, and slapped his hand against his forehead.
"Idiot, I should've done that when I was at Burger King." Free outlets are free outlets, and usually fast food employees don't give a fuck if he brings in his little portable electric kettle, if you catch them on the right days.
He could probably run to the nearest convenience store- he made friends with the lady who runs it, so she lets him loiter, and use the amenities for free. But only a couple employees know his free-outlet privileges, so if those ones aren't on shift, he'll probably get kicked out.
It was worth a shot though.
He ran over to the store, kettle and cup-o-noodle in hand. People walking by probably thought he'd lost his marbles, but he didn't have the energy to care.
Lucky for him, the person on shift that night was aware of his free-outlet privileges, so he stood by the back of the store, leaning against the counter while his kettle warmed up enough for the water to boil.
It was about 10:40 on a Wednesday evening, so the traffic in and out of the convenience store was pretty light. Whenever a customer came in, the bell attached to the door jingled with their entrance, Kou would stretch his head above the shelf in front of him to observe them for a second. People watching was a fun pass-time while he was literally waiting for water to boil.
That all changed when the bell jingled again, and he peered over the shelf to be greeted with two familiar faces.
"You have got to be kidding me," he cried under his breath, and stunk back beneath his blockade.
Mitsuba and his boyfriend. Great.
Mitsuba's hair was now tied up in a loose pony-tail, kind of like how he wore it during the ninth grade, the last time they had seen each other. The bruise on his face had been bandaged up. Sharpy had his arm wrapped around Mitsuba again, and was chattering about something with a smirk on his face. Mitsuba never talked back.
Something was very rigid about him; like he was bracing his entire body for the worse. His face looked troubled, and he looked anywhere except for Sharpy. Kou got that gut feeling again.
Mitsuba was too jumpy, and yet at the same time, too apathetic. Something was wrong. And if there wasn't, something was about to be wrong.
Kou crouched low out of sight, waiting for them to get what they wanted and then leave, and hopefully not see him. From what he heard, it sounded like they were buying a pack of cigarettes from behind the counter.
He waited silently for the moment to pass, and a breath released from his body the moment he heard somebody say, "Have a good night!"
But he couldn't leave Mitsuba alone. Kou felt it in his bones; something was wrong with him, and if Kou didn't do anything, he was sure something terrible might happen.
So he did something crazy. He followed them. Kou waited a few seconds after the bell jingled one last time, and abandoned his kettle, chasing after the curious couple. He made sure to keep a good distance between himself and them, but without losing sight of them. Kou kept his steps light and his breathing lighter, trying to pretend he wasn't acting like a crazy stalker.
He was doing it for Mitsuba's own good! Something was fishey about Sharpy, and who knows what could happen without Kou there! It felt like the calm before the storm. Someone had to step up and look out for Mitsuba. This wasn't that weird.
Finally, they arrived at a small apartment complex. Kou could hear their tense small talk, and he hid around the corner of the building while Sharpy unlocked the door, and they stepped inside.
It was cold. Kou hugged his jacket closer to his chest, watching his breath materialize in the air. He peeked around for a window, following the orange glow that illuminated from their apartment. It was helpful when it was so dark outside.
He found the window, but the blinds were shut. Even though he wasn't able to see, he was able to hear, and it was not pretty. Yelling started from inside the walls, the voices so angry Kou practically jumped from where he stood, leaned against the wall.
The fight increased in intensity the longer Kou stood there, and he almost felt like a child again, on the rare occasion his parents would fight, hiding in the closet with Teru, covering their ears, scared of getting yelled at. Scared of the fight getting worse than it already was.
But now he was a grown man, following someone who was basically a stranger to him back to his house, based on a gutt instinct alone. What was he doing? This was really none of his business, just like Mitsuba had said. Their conflicts had nothing to do with him, and he needed to stay the hell out of it. And not act like a total creep.
This was a mistake. He needed to get out of there.
Kou peeled himself away from the wall, turning his back away from it. Just as he was about to walk away, a piercing scream tore through the air, and shook him to his very core, enough to stop him right in his tracks. A loud crash followed the scream, and someone whimpered. Mitsuba whimpered.
Something was wrong. Something was very wrong. Mitsuba was in trouble. Mitsuba was in danger. He couldn't ignore that scream, or that crash, or that whimper, or the continuous yelling.
He couldn't he couldn't he couldn't he couldn't he couldn't he couldn't he couldn't he couldn't-
"I'm gonna fucking kill you!"
He kicked the door down.
Their apartment was trashed and small. A double mattress laid on the floor, covered in blankets but unmade. A collection of different trash was all over the floor, take out boxes and tissues and empty cans and bottles- the bottles. Lots of alcohol bottles. Who was the one drinking them?
It also smelt heavily of cigarettes, and sure, maybe Kou wasn't really the right person to speak on or criticize how people lived, since he lived in his car, but it was pretty bad. He wondered how Mitsuba lived like this.
Mitsuba was on the ground, his arm over his head, wearing an oversized white t-shirt and boxers. He was crying. There was a gash of blood on the arm covering his head, one so deep it almost made Kou nauseous just looking at it. If he focused too much on the thick red liquid dripping off of Mitsuba, he might've passed out.
Sharpy was standing in front of him, mouth open mid yell, and his arm raised, a broken bottle in his grasp, one that had red tainting its edges. His cheeks were torn with scratches.
They stared wide eyed at Kou, and all three of them seemed to be stuck in the moment, temporarily frozen. And then they defrosted. And everything happened way too fast.
"What the fuck are you doing here?!" Mitsuba screeched.
Why he wasn't thankful someone had intervened was beyond Kou, but nevertheless, he was speechless. He didn't know what to say.
"Are you that creep from the bathroom?!" Sharpy accused, letting his arm fall to his side as he switched his attention to Kou. "I knew something happened in there. You never tell me fucking anything, when I could've easily beaten up this dick!"
His attention switched back to Mitsuba.
"You never let me handle anything myself! I'm not a fucking child, I'm a grown ass man, not your damsel in distress!" Mitsuba yelled, standing his ground without actually standing.
He turned to Kou. "And that goes for the both of you!"
Sharpy groaned, but it sounded more like the cry of a violent predator.
"I am so tired of your bullshit Sousuke! I swear to god if you don't cut it out or get the fuck out I'll-"
"What?! You'll what?! Kill me? Like you said five seconds ago? Please, you're too much of a coward for that,” Mitsuba mocked, and Kou could tell it cut deep. He was good at that.
Sharpy opened his mouth to say something, then stopped, turning to look at Kou. He started stalking toward him.
"You're still fucking here? Get the hell out of my house!" He yelled, walking up to Kou until they were face to face, only a couple inches away.
He was taller than Kou, but Kou didn't falter. He raised his chin, his expression as hard as iron.
"Not until you leave Mitsuba alone. What kind of person cuts their boyfriend's arm open with a broken bottle? What kind of person targets someone until they're defenseless, and crying on the ground?" Kou asked.
"You don't know shit, creep,” Sharpy began, sparing Mitsuba a glance over his shoulder. "I'll tell you one more time. Get out of my house, or I'll make you leave myself."
"No."
Sharpy clicked his tongue.
"Fine. Then I'll do this the hard way." He pushed Kou out the doorway, but instead of closing the door like he should've, he began to walk towards Kou to do some more damage. Kou wasn't planning to go down easily though.
He launched himself onto Sharpy, grabbing onto the front of his shirt and pushing him back into the house along with himself. He tried to tackle Sharpy to the floor, but his height gave him the advantage, and he was able to stay on his feet.
Kou headbutted him, and he jerked back in pain, grabbing his forehead. When he took his hand away, a bruise was already starting to form. He swung his arm, and punched Kou so hard in the face, he fell back onto the floor. That's when Mitsuba screamed.
"Stop it, you dumbass! Don't hurt him!" Sharpy clearly didn't hear him, or maybe he just ignored him. It was probably the latter.
Sharpy straddled Kou with his knees, effectively pinning him down, before punching him in the face again. And again. And again. And again.
Mitsuba tore at Sharpy's back, trying to get him to stop, but he didn't. He ignored him, even when Mitsuba was full on tackling him, he never wavered.
Blood poured out of every hole in Kou's face, and even in the spaces between punches, he wasn't able to find time to breathe. He couldn't breathe. With each punch the pain started to cancel itself out, and Kou's consciousness started to fade. His vision blurred and his mind did the same, and he lost track of how long it had been, and whether or not he was even alive anymore, or if he was already dead.
Blood splashed onto his face, but he didn't realise it wasn't his until he focused on Sharpy's face, which was crippled with shock. Kou's eyes fell below Sharpy's face, onto his neck. A kitchen knife stuck out right at his Adam's apple, and blood was spraying out so violently his neck looked like a pressure-washer.
Sharpy tried to raise his hand to grasp at his neck, but he didn't even make it half-way. It fell to his side. Shortly after, his body fell limp over Kou, drenching him in more blood than he already was. As Sharpy fell, Mitsuba was revealed behind him. The knife was held in his hand, dipped in a thin coat of red. His eyes were wide with shock, and he looked close to insanity.
Before Kou blacked out, he heard one thing.
"Shit," Mitsuba muttered, and then everything went to nothing.