Chapter Text
A letter sits under his plate at breakfast and James wonders how it got there. The owls had already flown down that morning and Gryffindor only had one from Marlene’s mum, who sent her some treats for Halloween. So James is quite confused when he sees a letter under his plate, but no owl to deliver it. He glances around the table, searching for any hints to where it had come from but to no success.
“Did any of you see an owl this morning apart from the McKinnon’s?" He caves in and asks the rest of the Gryffindor sixth years. “Moony, you were here early, did you see one?”
“No, but why do you ask?” Remus looks up from the piece of toast he was munching on, abandoning the book he was reading intently.
“I have a letter under my plate.”
“And no owl came? That's a bit strange," Remus muses, glancing to the side just in time to see Sirius mid grasp for his toast. Remus smacks him across the head scoldingly. “Stop trying to steal my toast! Get your own."
Sirius rubs the side of his head. “But yours tastes better, yours has the butter perfectly melted and tasty, ” he grumbles, slinking back into his seat pouting like the drama queen he is. Peter pats his shoulder.
“I don't want to share, get your own before I make you," Remus says forcefully. Sirius reaches to grab his own and makes a spectacle of how bad his toast spreading skills are. Remus rolls his eyes and with a slight smile, chomps loudly on his toast, just to rub it in. James can see the longing in Sirius' eyes and he isn't sure if his best friend is after Remus' toast, or Remus himself. That's something for him to unpack later.
Remus then turns his attention back to James. “You were saying Prongs?”.
“Oh, right, the mysterious letter under my plate,” James says as he slips the parchment from under his plate and inspects it. “It looks... kinda fancy? It has a special seal and everything.”
He holds up the envelope for Remus to see. The front is plain, addressed to him in an elegant handwriting he doesn’t recognise. The back is sealed with wax — the design is quite lovely, James thinks — with a simple flower contained in an intricate border. The seal isn’t anything that James has seen before, usually letters were sealed with some family crest right?
"Hmm, interesting," Remus muses. "The seal doesn't seem to be one associated with a family— though I wouldn't know, it's not like I had the history of all the pure blood families drilled into me since I was five.”
Sirius reacts with cry. "Hey! It's not my fault that wench gave birth to me!"
Remus takes any opportunity to make a dig at Sirius, and James can see the appeal. Sirius' reactions are quite amusing.
"Well, are you going to open it or what, Prongs?" Peter cuts in, seeming to have had enough of them blabbering without opening the letter.
"Of course, Wormy, I just want some suspense y'know," James says with a grin. "It's not everyday I get elusive letters hidden under my plate is it?"
James decides to put them out of their misery and open the envelope. The letter itself is written on regular parchment, the kind they use here at Hogwarts — a clue for where the letter came from, perhaps? — and the same handwriting from the envelope catches his attention.
Though what catches his attention most of all are the words themselves.
'Dear James
I have no clue on why I am writing this, and if you are reading this at all then I've definitely gone mad — there is no way that in my right mind I would send this to you.
I am writing this to get my thoughts off my chest and somewhere more manageable. In short you have all but engulfed my thoughts and dreams, I cannot go a day without noticing the way your eyes crinkle when you smile or the cute but ever so slight dimple that appears when you do. I can't stop thinking about how kind you are and how you never refuse the opportunity to help or make someone's day. Your existence makes my day. I can't stop thinking about what it would feel like if you were to hold my hand, or hug me or just touch me. Whether your touch would be as warm as your presence, and your eyes that shine beautifully when hit with the afternoon sun.
I can't stop thinking about you and it's making me insane.
So this letter is my formal request for you to drop out of Hogwarts — go to Durmstrang or something — so that I no longer have to think about you. Actually no, if you were to leave Hogwarts I fear my thoughts would be ridden with you even more, distance makes the heart grow fonder and all that.
There's no way I'm signing off this letter that's embarrassing. I don't want to attach my name to this word vomit atrocity.
That's all.'
After reading the letter, James is speechless. It’s not often that something makes him speechless, and he feels his face heat up as he rereads. The letter is both baffling and somewhat endearing at the same time. James doesn't know how it can be, when he doesn't even know whose feelings he's reading but he can't help appreciating it. James still doesn't know what to say. He's just silently looking at the letter, even when Sirius makes a grab for the parchment to read it himself.
"Dear James," Sirius begins skimming over the beginning paragraph, "I am writing this to… in short you have engulfed my thoughts and dreams? WHAT? "
Sirius is gazing wide eyed at the letter, and his exclamation pulls James out of whatever trance he was in.
"Oh my fucking Merlin! Sirius! Don’t read it out loud!" James makes a grasp across the table in hopes of getting the letter back from Sirius, but to no avail.
"I cannot go a day without noticing the way your eyes crinkle when you smile—" Sirius begins, making a fake gagging noise "— or the cute but ever so slight dimple that appears when you do? " Sirius finishes in disbelief.
Peter laughs at Sirius' expression and reaches to the side to teasingly poke James' cheek, "You do have cute dimples." James swats his hand away.
"It's not only that, though," Remus pipes in, reading over Sirius' shoulder. "They even want you to transfer schools so they don't have to look at you anymore, how romantic, " he adds with a snicker.
"They must be seriously down bad to not want to look at you anymore Prongs," Peter comments, causing both Remus and Sirius to choke on a laugh, all while James is regretting his decision to choose the train compartment he did in first year.
While Remus is briefly incapacitated due to him and Sirius still laughing , he swiftly snatches the letter back, puts it back in its envelope and into his pocket.
"I'm never letting you read my mail ever again ," James grumbles and gets up to prepare to walk to class.
"Oh, but it's not just any mail, my dear Prongsie!" Sirius smiles gleefully, "it's obviously a love letter! You have a secret admirer!"
"Surely it's about time James got some action since Lily, and this time it's not even him confessing," Peter pipes in from next to him. James did not need unnecessary comments about his love life. He's been happy and single since he laid off Lily. He doesn’t even have feelings for her anymore, thank you very much! They've even begun to form a close bond with one another since she came out to him.
"I didn't ask for comments from the peanut gallery," James sighs and Peter gives him an evil sounding giggle that he never wants to hear again.
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The four of them make their way out of the Great Hall and James and Sirius split off for their shared Muggle Studies class. James hopes that if Sirius continues his teasing he'll not alert the whole classroom. As they approach the door, James sees a familiar figure about to go in, and it is one that he knows for sure doesn't have this class.
"Hey Reg, what're you doing here?" Sirius exclaims, addressing the boy in question. Regulus turns to face them both with a sour expression.
The brothers had somewhat made up after Sirius ran away from home. Sirius told him that it was a split second decision to bring Regulus with him. He had grasped his arm and ran out of that house faster than Regulus could argue with him, wounding up at James' door in the pouring rain. Sirius adjusted to his home quickly, but it took Regulus a while before he felt comfortable.
"I have this class," Regulus states simply, as if it were the most obvious thing.
"But you're in fifth year," Sirius counters. "This isn't a fifth year class, Reg."
"I know that dumbass, I've been moved up a year because of my grades." Regulus rolls his eyes. It's only been a week since they got back from Summer so James wonders if this is a new development. He didn't see Regulus in class last week.
"But why Muggle studies? I know we're not at home anymore but I never expected you to pick this class." At Sirius' words Regulus' gaze hardens.
"I can pick whatever class I want." He looks at his nails. "And it's not like she'll care, she's probably working to create another heir anyway."
Right. Walpurga had been very unhappy with the brothers running away from home. So unhappy that she’s begun acting like her children had never existed.
"Please don't imply they're having sex," Sirius groans in disgust, and Regulus lips curl upwards into a small smile — one that James wouldn't have noticed if he wasn't already looking at him.
Finished with the conversation Regulus turns around and walks into the classroom with Sirius and James following. As the two start making their way to their usual seats James turns to Regulus who is now a bit behind them.
"There's a spare seat with us if you want to sit Reg."
"No thank you." Regulus replies curtly. "And it's Regulus , I don't know how many times I have to remind you."
And with that Regulus turns away before James can reply further and sits in the seat furthest away from where James and Sirius are sitting.
"Your brother is quite petty, Padfoot," James sighs as he sits down. "I offered him the seat next to us and he went and picked the seat furthest away as possible."
"Yes he's quite the little shit," Sirius says, smiling fondly.
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Later in the Gryffindor dorms, if James takes out the letter and rereads it again and again, then that's something his friends don't have to know. James has never been properly confessed to before — if you could even call this a confession — and he can't help but feel kind of giddy at the thought of this person, whoever they are, who seems to like him so much that they want him gone from Hogwarts.
James takes one final look at the letter before he puts it safely in the bottom drawer of his bedside table, before turning to the side and preparing for bed.