Chapter Text
“It will be fine, Olive… and if not, at least it will be over.”
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Adam was on a roll – but he really wasn’t there. His keynote speech was going great but mostly because he knew the material like the back of his hand. It was second nature. His life’s work. He didn’t need a script. He could deliver this in his sleep.
To be honest, he wasn’t feeling any of it. He didn’t want to be here. He very much wanted to be somewhere else right now.
She’d asked him to come to her talk. She was so anxious. He knew the feeling well. And he wanted, more than anything in the world, to be in the audience, seeing a crowd witness how amazing and brilliant she was. To support her. To be there for her. She’d lost so much in her life – her mother and grandparents. Her father had not wanted to be in the picture…
… he could not understand anyone turning their back on Olive. Ever. For any reason.
She had Anh and Malcolm and Aysegul in a way. But in so many ways… she was alone in this world. And she’d asked for him.
It was just… it was Olive. He’d been in love with her for so long. Pining over her before he really knew her. Now he knew her. More and more he was discovering just how amazing she was. Every day he just loved her more and more.
She’d asked for him to be there. He wanted to be with her more than anything. As he paused for a moment to move to the next slide in his deck, he looked briefly at the time. She was probably done now. That, anyway, was a relief for her and he almost smiled. He couldn’t wait to hear all about it.
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Olive left the room, her feet somehow carrying her forward as her mind was shutting down. Tom’s words vibrated in her mind.
Mediocre.
Adam’s wasting his time with you.
Pitiful abstract.
Stuttering like an idiot.
You’re going to fuck me for the same reason.
Her arm throbbed where he’d grabbed her, and he had grabbed her. She looked down and saw the swollen, red spot and knew she would have some light bruising soon.
He had breathed on her, she could smell him, see his eyes so close… he’d moved in to kiss her. Twice. Without asking. He’d grabbed her. And he’d tried to kiss her.
A preview.
He’d made it very clear that her science had not been the reason for choosing her for his lab. She burned with humiliation for ever thinking that he’d seen something in her that he’d believed in.
She burned with humiliation for feeling on top of the world when her session had ended. How had her day pivoted like that, in a split second? She felt sick. As she ran forward, she felt the tears cascading down her cheeks.
Adam. She just needed Adam. She needed to tell him. She just…. She felt safe with him. It was that inexplicable link between them that she’d felt nearly instantly. The man with the reputation for being mean and surly, a man she’d always felt intimidated by had only ever made her feel… like she was home. Safe.
She got into the elevator and leaned against the wall, trying to hold herself together. Shaking from the effort.
Her phone chimed from in her bag and she grabbed it, her nerves making her more anxious. “Please be Adam. Please be Adam,” she muttered as she flicked open the home screen. It was Dr. Aslan texting her.
“I heard it went well! Send me the recording. I am so happy for you, Olive.”
Her heart clenched. She could find some faults in Dr. Aslan, but she always seemed to have her back – to support her. She had no idea how Olive’s world had just shattered into a thousand pieces, but without thinking, she tapped ‘add attachment’ and sent the recording over.
She was more sure than ever that she’d failed at her first talk. Tom had made that crystal clear. She’d stammered. Been… mediocre. Been there for one reason only: because she was Adam’s girlfriend. And yet… Dr. Aslan had asked her to do this favor. And she owed so much to her adviser.
She just wanted to see Adam. The elevator door slid open at their floor and she went to his room – the room he’d agreed to share with her after a series of one uncomfortable situation after another that she had sprung upon him this month. He’d done everything just to help her. Again and again. Their room at this conference? It was just more proof of that. His gentlemanly assurances that there were two beds… further proof of that.
She took out the key card and swiped it, walking in. She leaned against the door and slid to the ground, her sobs coming out more fully now that she was in private.
She felt so stupid. She had been so sure she’d done a good job at her talk. She’d felt confident. Relieved when it was over. She couldn’t wait to tell Adam all about it. But now… she didn’t have her lab next year.
Her mother’s face flashed in her mind – so briefly- she wouldn’t let herself dwell there. She never did. It was about her.
It was all about her. All about her…
Her work… her lab… the chance to make a difference. It was gone. And Tom had made it clear that if she didn’t go and satisfy him, her work would be stolen. She just… she had to tell Adam.
Quick question. Who do you think Adam will believe, Olive? Some bitch he’s been fucking for about two weeks or someone who’s been a close friend for years…
His close friend…
Adam had talked about how he had been in a rut, about to leave academia. His collaboration with Tom, their grant… it had given him his reason to stay. They were close friends. And… he was interested in someone else.
What good would telling him do? She’d be pulling him right down with her. He had interviews with Harvard, incredible opportunities… with Tom. Their charade was almost over. For her it couldn’t have felt more real… but for him… it was time to call it quits and move on.
If she told him it would be selfish.
He was so good. And so kind. It was crazy because she had seen quite the opposite all along from him… but it was true. He was truly kind. His loyalty to Holden. Holden’s fondness for him. He’d taken him to prom. He’d stepped in to help her without a second thought.
He was good.
And he deserved so much more than having his best opportunity ripped away from him because of her.
She stood up with resolve and changed as quickly as she could into jeans and a T-shirt. She could not bear to be in this dress for another minute.
Don’t lie to me and say you didn’t pick out a dress that short for my benefit. Nice legs by the way.
She squeezed her eyes closed as his words assaulted her again and again. The accusations that she had targeted Adam because of who he was. She hadn’t… and… the idea of Adam believing Tom… believing the worst of her, that she would seduce her way into opportunities…
… it was too much to bear.
She ran out of the room, down the stairs… and out a side entrance. She didn’t know where to go. But she couldn’t stay there for another moment.
Everything… everything… was over.
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Adam finally left the conference hall where his keynote speech was. The Q&A had dragged on and on. He usually loved that level of engagement, but he really did not want to be there any longer than absolutely necessary.
He wanted to see his girlfriend. He stopped short for a moment as his mind corrected itself. Fake girlfriend. His feelings were so real. And how he wanted for her to be his actual girlfriend. For every kiss to be because they wanted to and not for show.
Though the two kisses they’d shared… for show or not, he felt more alive than he’d ever dreamed possible in those moments.
“Hey Mr. Keynote,” he heard a voice say. He looked up and saw Holden smiling at him. “How’d it go?”
Adam smiled kindly at his old friend, but it was a curt smile all the same. “Fine. As expected.”
“A riveting endorsement,” Holden joked.
“I don’t usually endorse myself,” Adam replied. He checked his phone to see if Olive had written. Nothing. He wondered if she was at the social yet.
“Malcolm said it went great,” Holden said quietly, more seriously.
Adam looked up at him and Holden just eyed Adam’s phone with a knowing gleam in his eyes. “Oh?” He breathed out and didn’t realize the breath he’d been holding.
“Olive was great. The whole panel went well from what I heard.”
Adam looked around.
“And I’m guessing that you’d rather find your girlfriend than chat about her talk with your old prom date.”
Adam looked back and Holden and smiled genuinely. “Is that how I should refer to you from now on?” He felt so much lighter knowing her talk went well. She had worked so hard to prepare it. And… her science, her approach… it was honestly brilliant. He knew she didn’t see it, though. How he wished she could see herself the way he saw her.
“It may lead to questions from most people,” Holden said.
“And I hate small talk,” Adam added.
“Friends.”
“Colleagues,” Adam joked. Holden hated to be called a colleague.
“Best friends from way back.”
Adam rolled his eyes. “As important as this is, I have to go.”
“Will you be at the social?”
Adam was walking away but stopped and looked back at Holden. “Yes. I’m just going to stop in my room and see if Olive is there.”
The elevator ride seemed to take forever and it was all for nothing. She wasn’t in their room. And yet… he felt like she’d been there.
Just as he was leaving to find her at the social, he saw it. Her black dress. It was draped over her bed. He furrowed his brow. Why would she have changed for the social?
He left quickly, feeling more anxious to just see her. He realized how often lately he felt anxious without her… and how calm and grounded he felt whenever she was with him.
So he left. He headed to the social and looked around. People kept coming up to him to congratulate him on his talk. He couldn’t care less about any of it. But he thanked people and did not encourage any small talk.
He could not see Olive anywhere.
“There you are.” He turned toward a familiar voice. Tom walked closer, his hands in his pockets. “I’ve been looking for you.”