Chapter Text
On the Sabaody Archipelago, Penguin became enraptured by the fighting style of the Massacre Soldier -- he later learned the name of this infamous man when his captain began yelling it at the top of his lungs. While they didn’t have a proper meeting at the auction house, he was able to observe from afar as their captains fought the marines and ran from Pacifictas.
“Why do you think they call Killer the Massacre Soldier? Do you think Killer is even his real name?” Penguin asked Shachi as they were descending to Fishman Island.
Shachi thought for a second, “Probably because he massacred people? I think it’s a pretty self-explanatory title. And even if Killer isn’t his real name, I think it’s pretty fitting.”
“Well, I could’ve told you that, you moron! But I mean, who did he massacre in order to get that name? I mean is it REALLY that self-explanatory? Think about Captain, just because he’s the “Surgeon of Death”, doesn’t mean he is like... actually the Surgeon of Death.”
Shachi gave him a deadpan look “....Peng…He is the Surgeon of Death.”
“YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN!” Penguin was starting to get frustrated with his best friend and his lack of opinion on this topic. Obviously, Penguin knew why Law was called the Surgeon of Death, but considering how much he loves cute things (i.e. Bepo) it was sometimes difficult to take him seriously.
“NO, I DON'T! I really don’t know what you want me to say! Maybe he doesn’t kill people?! Would that make you happy? It isn’t like WE don’t have our own moments where we cross that line. We’re pirates, Peng, what do you expect?” By this point, Shachi was done with Penguin’s questions but paused before asking,
“Why are you so interested in a Kid Pirate anyways? This was our first run-in with them, and while it was eventful, was it really that memorable?” While Shachi didn’t understand his friend’s interest in this conversation, his persistence was making him curious.
Sure Penguin had asked about other pirates before, but it was more about their fighting style and how they might be able to use it against them in order to protect their captain and crew. It was no secret that while the Heart Pirates were infamous, it was all due to their captain’s reputation. Penguin and Shachi were by no means weak, but they still had to use every resource available to them.
Penguin’s silence makes his friend really look at him. He’d become fidgety ever since he last talked and refused to look Shachi in the face. The only other time Penguin acted like this was when…
“Holy shit. You like him don’t you?!”
Penguin looked alarmed, “No I do not! I was just curious!”
Penguin was terrified, how on earth did Shachi figure it out?! He can admit he’s taken a particularly strong interest in Killer but it's not like it's the first time they’ve had conversations like this.
“Oh my god, I can’t believe you’re lying to me and yourself! I know you had a thing for buff guys but COME ON PENG! He’s Captain Kid’s first mate!” Shachi was shocked by how quickly this conversation shifted but nonetheless was even more intrigued with his friend's feelings.
“Come on Penguin,” The use of his full name made him snap his head up and look wide eyed at Shachi, “it’s okay to have a little crush on him just be honest with me.”
Penguin averted his eyes and slowly whispered, “I mean I guess he’s pretty attractive and his fighting style is really cool to watch…”
“....okay.”
“...”
“Thanks for being honest…NOW WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU THINKING?!”
Penguin was shocked by the sudden outburst, “You told me to be honest, why are you freaking out?!”
“Because I can’t believe you have a crush on a Kid Pirate!!” Shachi looked like he was about to have a panic attack and he wasn’t even the one that was having a romantic crisis.
“It’s not like anything is going to happen! Do you know how low the chances are that he even knows who I am let alone the chance that we’ll run into the Kid Pirates again?”
*****
Unbeknownst to the two, their captain had heard their whole conversation. Did they not take into account how small this submarine was and how much their voices carried? Law was going to go talk to his first mate about their plans once they reached Fishman Island, but after hearing that whole…ordeal, he decided that a call to a certain red head was in order.
*****
While Penguin was reassuring Shachi and himself that this crush of his wasn’t going to become an issue, the infamous Massacre Soldier was having his own rude awakening.
“You’ve decided that the first thing you would do in the New World is have a gay crisis over a little bird?!” Killer cackled, alerting the whole ship of his first mate's problem.
“Would you keep your mouth shut! It’s not a “gay” crisis, I’ve simply realized I might like men more than I realized and that just might be because of a certain Heart Pirate,” Killer tried hushing his captain but knew that once Kid reached this volume it was useless trying to get him to quiet down.
“Whatever! But I mean come on, you could have picked someone better. I mean yeah he’s a part of Trafalgar’s crew but he doesn’t even have a bounty! He’s practically some no-name pirate!” Kid was shocked that he was even having this conversation let alone that it was about one of Trafalgar’s crew.
“You obviously didn’t see him fight, he definitely knew what he was doing against that Pacifista. Based on his skills and how he acted with his crew, I wouldn’t be surprised if he was the first mate. Maybe he doesn’t have a bounty because most of Trafalgar’s crew is unknown,” Why was Killer trying to justify his choice in taste with Kid of all people?
Kid side-eyed Killer at how much he was building up this supposed “first mate”, “You really like him don’t you? And you barely even interacted with him. I’m surprised Kil, it normally takes a lot more than that for anything to get your attention.”
Killer looked away from his friend's probing gaze, “I mean he was just interesting to watch…and I guess he was pretty cute too if I had to admit.”
Ahh there it is, this is what Kid was waiting for, “Ohh I see. So you think he’s cute huh?” Kid was never going to let him live this down. If Killer crushing on a Heart Pirate is what gave him this kind of ammunition then so be it. That’s what friends are for right?
Killer could see the mischief in Kid’s eyes, “I know what you’re thinking but I’m not embarrassed about finding him intriguing. And his name is Penguin, not Little Bird ,” as he said that, Killer realized that he liked the sound of “Little Bird” but decided he would keep that to himself.
“Speaking of the Heart Pirates, why didn’t you immediately pick a fight with them when we saw them at the auction house? We all saw Trafalgar flip you off yet all you did was sneer? That’s not really like you Captain,” it was Killer’s turn to interrogate his friend. He knew the minute he brought this up Kid would try to deny it, for whatever reason he thought he was better at hiding this from Killer than he really was.
This time it was Kid who got a little quiet, “I'm not sure what you’re implying Killer, but whatever it is I can tell you, you have the wrong idea.”
Bingo.
The way his captain reacted to his slight accusation only confirmed what he already knew. He knew that Kid was a little…obsessive when it came to the Surgeon of Death. Not only does that title of his draw attention, but all that he accomplished in the North Blue before making it onto the Grand Line had him in Kid’s sights for a while now.
Luck must have been on Kid’s side because right when Killer was about to question him further, Kid’s personal den-den rang. The only people who would ever call him on that were all on the ship, so Killer was a little confused, but the minute it started ringing Kid’s eyes went wide.
“Uh, I just need to umm take this real quick. It’s nothing important or anything! Probably just someone with the wrong number! No big deal! But you know… I better take it and uhh set them straight ya know?”
Killer only just looked at him. What the hell was happening? Why did some random call on his den den make his captain react like this?
“Whatever you say, Kid. Guess I’ll go check on the crew while you…do whatever it is you’re doing.” With that, Killer left his captain with his thoughts back on a certain Heart Pirate.