Chapter Text
Rin made his decision sometime yesterday. It wasn't an easy decision, and honestly, Rin still isn't sure it is the right one. Rin had texted Sousuke to tell him to meet Rin online tomorrow at seven for a video call. Sousuke had texted him back saying he was looking forward to it.
That was yesterday, even though it feels like weeks ago, and now it is today, and the call is connecting. At first, the image skips and there is still some lag, but eventually the internet connection solidifies and there he is. Sousuke tries to hide his happiness behind a bored expression, but even a somewhat unreliable internet connection and small laptop screens can't erase how pleased Sousuke is to see Rin.
Out of the view of his laptop's webcam, Rin wrings his fingers together, trying to work out the nervous energy. Sousuke currently lives with his parents and works at his father's store, just like he said he was going to at the end of high school. Rin hates it. It isn't a life worthy of his best friend. It definitely isn't what Sousuke deserves. After all of his sacrifice, Sousuke is a person who should get the entire world laid at his feet.
“So, how is the shoulder feeling?” Rin begins. He always opens with that. He always checks to make sure there is still progress being made in Sousuke's physical therapy, because he desperately wants to swim with Sousuke again. The only way that will happen is if Sousuke puts in the time and effort to continue healing.
Sousuke had surgery right after their graduation, and his progress was going well so far. Rin had been upset he couldn't stay in Japan at the time of the surgery. He didn't like the idea of Sousuke going through all of that alone, but Rin's Australian coach gave him a start date he had to adhere to in order to receive his international scholarship and placement at a local University. So Sousuke and Rin kept in touch via Skype and texts. Even when Sousuke was still groggy and recovering, they held chats almost every evening.
Sousuke smirks, and Rin can tell that he has good news. He points at his shoulder and rotates it slowly. “I was in the water this week,” and Sousuke pulls the sleeve of his t-shirt up to show Rin. “It felt good.”
Rin lets out a sharp bark of a laugh, “They finally gave you the okay?” He feels so pleased to hear this.
Rin watches as Sousuke's fingers run along the small scar that bisects where his upper shoulder and his chest met. It is a tiny thing, because sports medicine has come a long way in the last few years, but that raised welt of scarred tissue still upsets Rin more than he cares to admit.
Sousuke grumbles and shrugs. “I'm not fully released yet. I'm still on semi-light duty. No butterfly for another week or two, but I have permission to help Nitori out with the team when I have time, and it feels good to be in the water.”
Rin tries to calm himself again, his fingers practically pulling into knots in his lap. “I'm glad to hear that,” he says, trying not to let his nerves show. Rin knows Sousuke probably won't take his decision well, but he wants to present it in the most positive light he can.
Sousuke can read Rin like a book. There is a moment of lag, worse than the normal lag they experience on Skype calls between their respective countries, and when Sousuke glitches back onto the screen, he is sitting with his brow raised in a skeptical look. “Okay. Now what is this about?” he asks, and waits for Rin's answer.
Rin takes a deep breath. Sure, he's nervous, but he is determined to see this through, because his mind is definitely made up. He isn't turning back now. He looks into the camera and says. “I'm coming back to Japan this year. I'm going to train in Tokyo.”
Sousuke's image doesn't react right away, and Rin knows it is the lag. Then he sees Sousuke's face change from a curious expression into a scowl.
“No you're not,” Sousuke says, irritation evident in his voice. “Australia has been great for you. Your times have gotten so much better. You competed in FINA and made finals for fucks sake. You really going to throw that away?”
“I want...” Rin tries, but Sousuke beats him to the statement
“You want to swim in a relay. I know, I know,” Sousuke says, almost mockingly.
“And relays train in Tokyo,” Rin argues, trying not to let Sousuke work his way under his skin too much. Sousuke knows how to push Rin's buttons just like Rin knows how to push Sousuke's.
Sousuke doesn't say another word, he just pulls his sleeve back down and crosses his arms in order to give Rin a very disapproving look.
“Don't do that,” Rin tells his friend. Sousuke can be so damn annoying when he wants to be. Sousuke doesn't listen. He doesn't budge. “Stop that,” Rin says, voice flat but also clearly pissed.
Fine, if Sousuke is going to be like that, then it is time to reveal the whole plan. “I'm going to attend the University Makoto is at...”
“Tachibana?” Sousuke asks, and Rin doesn't miss how Sousuke rolls his eyes ever so slightly. “Don't tell me this has to do with Nanase too?”
Rin really is getting aggravated. “No, it doesn't, asshole. It has to do with Makoto's school being the best school that offered me a full transfer scholarship. I don't want to put a financial burden on my mom. She's...” struggling, is the word that Rin leaves unsaid.
He knows his mother is worried about how to pay for Gou's college, so Rin is going to make damn sure to cover his own training and education. Even with scholarships, Australia was far from a free ride, and the lack of money was one more thing that helped Rin decide to come home.
“You could get a full scholarship anywhere, Rin. You made the finals of the 200m butterfly last year at FINA. Any university or college would be stupid to turn you away.”
“Well, Mikoshiba is there too, and both he and Makoto tell me what a great program they have, so of course I'm going there. Just be happy I didn't choose Haru's school. I know that would have really pissed you off.”
Rin makes sure there is no room for argument. He isn't going to let Sousuke change his mind. This is Rin's dream, and he isn't making these decisions recklessly. Rin suffered through many sleepless nights, followed by many discussions with his Australian coaching team, and in the end this was the best option.
“I think we might have had to stop being friends if you had joined Nanase,” Sousuke says, and Rin pauses for a minute as he realizes Sousuke is joking with him. Rin can tell Sousuke is still mad, but at least it isn't all backlash and anger.
“Okay,” Rin starts, and steels himself to say the last part of his plan. Everything that has come before this wasn't even what Rin had been worried about. He looks right at Sousuke, who is already grouchy and frustrated, but Rin can also see some relief, some happiness that might be there, and it gives him enough encouragement to continue. “We have three and a half months, so you are going to have to get your ass in gear if you want to pass the entrance exams. Makoto said they were tough as hell.”
Rin waits out the lag again, and he can see the exact moment Sousuke hears what he proposed. Sousuke's brows scrunch together and his face crinkles into a confused expression. “Entrance exams, hell no,” he says. “I'm done with school. I'm working at my dad's...”
It is Rin's turn to interrupt, “Your dad would be happy to pay for college if you went. You know he would.”
Sousuke grits his teeth. “But I don't want to.”
Sousuke was never really good or bad at school. When Sousuke actually studied, his grades placed him toward the top quarter of the class, not at the near-top like Rin, but near enough that it wasn't something he struggled with. Rin knows school isn't something that Sousuke necessarily enjoys, but at the same time it isn't something he hates either.
“Well, I need you to,” Rin says, like those words will end this argument. “And I need you to find us an apartment too. I'll be in Sydney until the week before the transfer, because of my finals schedule. Don't pick us a shitty place. I have the number of the University's housing office, and you'll need to talk to them.”
“I said no,” Sousuke tries again, but Rin notices how weak his protest is. It is a good sign.
Rin leans in close to the webcam, and he notices how he takes up most of the screen on his Skype-preview square. “You and I are going to do this, Sousuke. You are going to take the entrance exam, get accepted, get us an apartment, do a walk-on tryout, and we are going to swim together. You promised you'd try.”
There is silence for the duration of the lag, and then Rin hears Sousuke make a small choked sound, and he covers it almost immediately with a cough. Rin also notices how Sousuke's face has softened. “Rin...I don't know...”
“No excuses.”
Rin has carefully monitored Sousuke's shoulder, and he knows that if the physical therapists are starting to let him swim this much again, he will probably be cleared soon. Sousuke just has to be careful with his body. Rin will never let his friend overdo it again, but Rin is determined to be on the international stage and have Haru on one side of him and Sousuke on the other.
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Usually, Rin loves to fly. There is just something about world travel from one continent to another that gets him so excited. Today, though, everything that can go wrong, does go wrong. Traffic makes him late getting to the airport, and then Rin manages to misplace his passport, finally finding it tucked inside a book he had brought to read on the plane. The plane is overbooked, and because he boards at the very end, the seat he originally selected is somehow taken. At least Rin is lucky enough to not be bumped to a later flight, but the new seat they put him in is between an overweight business man and a mother with a crying baby. Rin is the furthest from an aisle or a window that he could be, in the very middle of the middle of the plane. Then, the plane is stuck on the runway for nearly two hours, and the baby next to him cries almost half of the nearly ten hour flight to Tokyo.
Rin is so grateful when he walks down the passenger boarding bridge and through the terminal gate, that he doesn't even see Sousuke waiting there for him. In fact, he almost walks right by him.
“You look a little harried,” Sousuke says, and Rin freezes and turns toward his best friend's voice. “Yo,” Sousuke adds, extending his hand toward Rin, already pulled into a tight fist.
Rin can't believe how relieved he is to see Sousuke, he reaches out his own hand and gives him a quick fistbump, before pulling Sousuke into a brief hug. “It is so good to see you!” Rin exclaims, trying to squash the overexcited warm feeling that seems to blossom through every inch of his body.
Surprisingly, not letting the embarrassing gesture get to him, Sousuke returns the hug and says into the crown of Rin's hair, “It is really good to see you too.” Then Sousuke steps back, and before Rin can stop him, Sousuke's hand is in Rin's hair, mussing it completely. Rin swats at him, and Sousuke responds by giving Rin the most sincere smile and pulling him in for an even quicker second hug, though this one is more roughhousing than hug.
“Let's go find my luggage,” Rin says, exhaustion creeping back into his voice. He wants nothing more than to go back to whatever apartment Sousuke has arranged for them, and sleep for about nine years.
Sousuke gives Rin a quizzical look, and then asks, “That good of a flight, eh?”
Rin kind of wants to punch Sousuke for reminding him. He just glares at his friend and says, “The worst.”
“Then let's get you home,” Sousuke says, and there is such an ease that comes with the word. Rin didn't realize until that moment just how much he'd missed Japan, or how much he'd missed Sousuke, hell, how much he'd missed home. Perhaps it is more about how his home and Sousuke's home would again be one and the same, or that their paths in life were set to parallel one another after a long separation.
Rin chats with Sousuke about their program while they wait at the luggage carousel. Rin asks a lot of questions, which he knows Sousuke isn't very fond of, but Rin missed him and is curious. Rin pries more details about the walk-on trials that Sousuke went through last week, despite already hearing most of it from Sousuke. Rin also discussed it with Makoto and Seijuro before leaving Australia, and they filled in the parts that Sousuke had held back.
Both Makoto and Sei said Sousuke showed a lot of promise, but his times were somewhat slow, and his form was rusty. The coach had still been impressed though, and gave Sousuke a reserve spot. This meant Sousuke was able to practice with the team and could possibly challenge for a spot later in the season. Honestly, Rin didn't think there was a better position for Sousuke to be in, seeing as it gave him access to the team and facilities without a lot of the pressure.
When the last bag they are waiting on comes into view, Sousuke grabs it. Rin winces when Sousuke hauls it up and props it over his injured shoulder. Rin must look worried, because Sousuke just waves him off. “It's fine. See?” as he lifts the bag a few inches and puts it back down. “I can pick up bags and everything. My physical therapist would be disappointed if I couldn't.”
Rin lets out a breath he didn't know he was holding. Of course Sousuke can pick up and handle bags. Hell, he could even do that pre-surgery, but not without visible discomfort. Now, there is no wince or half-pained expression on Sousuke's face. Rin tries to keep his elation at a minimum, but it is just so damn good to see Sousuke able to function normally again.
“I still have to be careful,” Sousuke says as they start to walk to the taxi pick-up area. “But trust me a little, okay?”
Rin nods, not really meeting Sousuke's eyes. Even back in high school, Sousuke had to warn Rin off of mothering him too much about the shoulder. But Rin hadn't noticed the initial injury, and by way of guilt, or a new found hyper-awareness in regards to Sousuke's shoulder, Rin always felt responsible for guarding his friend and making sure he got better. That is why Rin had been so vigilant in keeping track of Sousuke's progress post-surgery in Australia. Hell, it is why Rin took an introductory sports medicine class back in his Australian university.
When the two of them step outside, Rin looks at the line of people waiting for a taxi, and he groans. “We can't take a bus or train?”
“With all your shit? When everyone is getting off of work?” Sousuke asks, glaring at his friend.
Rin wonders how much of it really has to do with the busy time of day, and how much of it has to do with Sousuke's lack of direction and ability to get lost anywhere. However, Rin has no familiarity with the area yet, and he'd be just as lost as Sousuke, so he allows the extravagance of taking a taxi to their new apartment. He just isn't looking forward to paying the bill.
It takes almost thirty minutes of waiting to get to the top of the taxi queue, and almost another forty minutes driving through heavy traffic to get to their apartment. Rin goes to pay, but Sousuke waves him off, handing the driver enough bills to cover the fare. They unload the bags, and then Sousuke takes them up a set of outdoor stairs to the second floor of a quiet building. He unlocks the door and says, “Welcome home.”
Rin walks inside, and it isn't huge, but it is so much better than the tiny dorm room Rin had shared with a roommate for the last year in Australia. Here, there is a kitchen, a small living room, two bedrooms off to the side, and a tiny modern bathroom. Everything is clean. The living room has a regular table and a couple of chairs, but there is also a kotatsu in the center with textbooks scattered on the top of it. There is even a plush chair shoved in a corner near a television and a bookshelf.
Sousuke scratches the back of his neck, and mutters, “I know you hate clutter, so I tried not to put too much in here. I hope you like it.”
Rin punches Sousuke in the arm lightly and smiles at him. “This is great,” he says, and Rin means it.
Living in a dorm in high school with Sousuke had been so much easier than living in a dorm in Australia. His Australian roommate, James, had also been a swimmer, but not as serious as Rin, and throughout the year Rin found him becoming less and less compatible with the Aussie. By the end, Rin was always complaining about the odd hours James kept, or the friends that seemed to drop by whenever they wanted, and the messes Rin always seemed to clean up, even if they weren't his. There was just a lack of respect, and it annoyed Rin. The one thing that Rin knows, is that he and Sousuke are compatible roommates.
Rin steps into one of the bedrooms, but there is already stuff in it. It is tiny, so much so that the bed barely fits. Rin is surprised when he heads into the second bedroom, obviously the one meant for him, and finds that it is over double the size.
Rin steps out of the room and gives Sousuke a quizzical look. “What the heck?” he says, motioning at Sousuke's room. He still can't believe that closet of a room is where Sousuke chose to stay.
Sousuke shrugs, looking sheepishly at his own bedroom. “It's meant to be a study. The college said that two bedroom apartments were hard to get with the matching program as underclassmen. But I...” and Sousuke let's the words trail off and ends with another shrug. Rin almost says something, but Sousuke finally continues, “The location is really close to campus and I thought living together would be good, you know me and my sense of direction. Also, it's your fault I'm here.”
Rin only responds to Sousuke's blame with a glare. My fault, Rin thinks, that's rich.
Rin looks into his room again, and then back into Sousuke's, and then an idea hits him. “Well,” he begins, hoping that Sousuke likes it, “It can stay a study.”
Sousuke sighs, “What they heck do you mean? Are you kicking me out? Technically the apartment is in my name.”
Rin waves a hand dismissively at Sousuke, shushing him. “No, no, what I mean is that it can be the study, we can move the desk from my room into it, and then move your bed into my bedroom. That way we have a living room, a quiet room, and a bedroom. Your bed will fit into the bedroom just fine if we take out the desk. Or do you prefer the privacy of your broom closet?”
Sousuke actually looks a little shocked, but then he considers the idea. He steps into his room and appraises it, and then into Rin's room. Rin sees him making mental calculations, before stepping back into the living room. “Are you sure this is a good idea? I think one dresser can go between the beds, and maybe one in the corner against a bed, but there really isn't much room for anything else in there if we put both beds inside. We'd have to share a closet too.
“Would it be too much of a bother?” Rin asks, but then looks into the study. “There isn't even a closet in here. What the heck, Sou? There is no way I'm letting you live in that shitty little room.”
Sousuke shrugs, “I was going to suggest playing a round of Janken for it, but I always lose, so I just resigned myself to the fate of having that room. I suppose sharing a bedroom wouldn't be all that terrible.”
Rin lifts an eyebrow, and Sousuke leans against the wall, sighing his defeat. Rin knows that Sousuke usually lets him have his way.
“I had a decent room all to myself this last year at home. I might have a few new bad habits,” Sousuke says with a sigh, and the resignation in it let's Rin know that he has won.
“I'm sure it'll be fine,” Rin says with a smirk.
Sousuke shrugs. “I don't know, after three years of dorm life with a roommate, it was a joy being able to jack off before going to sleep if I wanted to.”
Rin makes a face and rolls his eyes, “Well, disruption of your masturbation schedule aside, I think this is the best idea. Help me move the desk and bed.”
Sousuke reaches up and rubs his formerly injured shoulder absently, “I don't know,” he says, “That looks pretty heavy.”
Rin walks right over to Sousuke in order to herd him into the bedroom. “Stop lying, you asshole. I'm not falling for that bullshit. You're just being lazy.”
It takes a couple of hours to move all the furniture, move Sousuke's stuff to the shared bedroom, and to unpack Rin's stuff. By the end of it, Rin is so exhausted that he crumples onto his bed and almost falls asleep right there. Though classes don't start for a week, Rin and Sousuke do have practice with their new team in the morning. Rin should take a shower, or at least put on some actual sleepwear, but the mattress is really comfortable.
Rin vaguely recognizes the sound of a doorbell, but he is too tired to do anything about it. Sousuke, who is in the living room, must have answered it though, because Rin looks up to see someone standing in the doorway to the bedroom.
Oh god, Rin thinks, realizing who it is. And somehow, beyond all logic, the person standing there might be taller than Sousuke.
“Makoto?” Rin asks sleepily, pulling himself into a sitting position at the edge of the bed.
“I'm so sorry to have disturbed you. But I wanted to come over and bring you this,” and Makoto holds out a small plant in a lovely red pot. “You know, to say welcome to Tokyo.”
Rin reaches for the plant, and he notices the mild scent. Oh, Rin realizes, it's a mint plant. “Thanks, Makoto,” Rin says, standing and walking the little plant out to the kotatsu and setting it in the middle.
“Mint is a scent that invigorates the mind,” Makoto says, pleased that his gift was accepted and given a prime place in the apartment. “Or at least that is what the lady said who sold it to me.” Makoto tips his head to the side in that embarrassed way he does sometimes, and Rin smiles at how familiar it is. “Anyway, I just thought I'd bring that down. If you need anything, just let me know. I'm actually in the apartment three doors down on the left,” and Makoto points and motions toward the direction of his apartment.
Rin's head snaps up at that, “What? You are in this building too?”
Sousuke steps past Rin with a tray, and Rin sees there are three cups of tea on it, and it smells nice, perhaps chamomile. After setting the tray on the kotatsu Sousuke points at Makoto. “He suggested it when I was apartment hunting.”
Oh, Rin thinks. Of course that makes sense. Rin wondered why he hadn't gotten more bitchy texts from Sousuke during the whole process. Sousuke hates stuff like that, because he isn't fond of making big decisions by himself, and Rin had been sure apartment hunting would get Sousuke very, very lost, despite Sousuke having lived in Tokyo for two years.
Sousuke picks up one of the mugs and gently pushes it into Rin's hands. “You look tired, you should drink this and go to bed.”
Rin tries not to glare, because the gesture is nice, but he can't help the slight snark in his reply, “Yes, mom.”
Sousuke, not missing a beat, says in mock-seriousness, “Do I need to come tuck you in and kiss you goodnight?”
Rin doesn't even dignify Sousuke with a response. He just sips at his mug of tea and glares at Sousuke. The only thing that disrupts their odd little standoff is the sound of Makoto softly laughing, shyly hiding it behind his hand.
“I've missed you, Rin,” Makoto says, his eyes crinkling in that happy way of his. Rin notices how Makoto is standing next to Sousuke, holding his own mug of tea, and holy crap, Makoto really is taller.
Rin can tell his staring is starting to make Makoto uncomfortable. Makoto turns his head and looks over his shoulder, trying to figure out what Rin is looking at.
Rin gives his giant friend a look of disbelief. “Haru wasn't lying, you had another growth spurt.”
Makoto finally realizes that must be why Rin is looking at him so intently, because he stops looking around, and stares intently down at his tea instead. Rin watches as a deep blush settles onto Makoto's cheeks, before Rin's friend whines a soft, “Rin, don't make fun.”
The expression pulls at Rin's heart, because he feels like he just kicked a puppy. He didn't mean to upset Makoto, that was not his intention at all. “I'm not making fun, Makoto. It's impressive.”
Makoto just shakes his head, blushing deeper. “I just...” he starts, and is unable to look at Rin or Sousuke. “People stare. It's uncomfortable.”
Makoto has always had the ability to draw people to him, and make friends, so Rin often forgets how self-conscious and shy his friend can be. Rin, not the kind of person to be anything better than awkward while consoling someone, steps over to Makoto and puts a hand on his arm. “Makoto, seriously, it...it looks good on you.”
Rin finishes the statement, only to realize how ridiculous he sounds. It isn't even his imagination, because Sousuke gives Rin a look that clearly says, what the hell? Makoto glances at Rin very briefly, and then returns to staring at his tea.
So what does Rin do? Obviously, he ignores the first foot already in his mouth, and tries to shove the other one in too. “I mean,” Rin chuckles nervously, “Girls love that kind of thing, right? And...trains?”
And trains? Where was Rin even going with that? Luckily, Makoto seems to understand Rin's gibberish.
“It is easier reach the handholds on trains, I suppose,” Makoto says, “But I think I intimidate girls.”
Who the hell would find Makoto intimidating? One look at the guy, and anyone should be able to tell what a freaking marshmallow he is. Rin sighs, he supposes that girls would rather go for the cool, aloof type. Perhaps that's why...
“Is Haru still dating that weird chick?” Rin asks, not even trying to hide his feelings on the matter.
Makoto shrugs, and takes a sip of his tea, still not bringing his eyes up to meet Rin's or Sousuke's. “I think he is. He really doesn't talk about her much, but Midori-kun was at his apartment when I stopped by last week.”
Rin doesn't miss the way Makoto says this with no small amount of sadness, and perhaps also a bit of regret. Well, Rin thinks, that is interesting to say the least.
Makoto adds, finally looking up, “And you shouldn't call her weird, Rin. She's a nice girl.”
Rin doesn't even try to hide his amused snort. “Oh, she's weird, Makoto. She is very weird. Like I always thought Haru was a bit off, but she...she is another kind of case altogether.”
Rin sees Sousuke try and hide his laugh by picking the third mug of tea off of the kotatsu and taking a sip. Sousuke knows very well Rin's feelings about Haru's tree-hugger girlfriend. The few times Rin convinced Haru to actually get on Skype and talk to him, she had been there, and she hadn't been pleasant to Rin. It wasn't even the environmental activism part of it, because hell, Rin agreed with much of the things she said about how people were destroying the Earth and wasting resources. The thing that immediately made him leery of her was her possessiveness of Haru, and how she mentioned trying to, “Make my dear Haruka stop adhering to the societal pressures of competition and sport...” aka she tried to make Haru stop swimming, and that made Rin seethe.
Makoto also told Rin once via Skype that she mentioned to him how she didn't feel comfortable with how co-dependent Makoto was with Haruka. And yeah, Makoto and Haru did have a really intense bond, but Makoto was by no means dependent on Haruka. Makoto had decided on his dream to attend college in Tokyo, and set forth toward it all on his own, even keeping it from Haru until that night they had their first fight in high school. Makoto is a caregiver by heart, and yes, he did need Haru, but the same way that Rin needs Sousuke, or Rin needs Haru and Makoto. It is called friendship. You should love the people you surround yourself with. Isn't that normal?
Rin decides he is too tired to bring all his gripes with Haru's girlfriend to light, so instead he just mutters, “Well, I don't like her. And I don't have to like her.”
Makoto, instead of chastising Rin further, says, “That's fair. I don't like her either.”
Oh-ho-ho, now this is interesting. Rin perks up, and looks expectantly toward Makoto, hoping he'll elaborate. But Makoto must have realized what he said, because he waves his free hand, making a placating gesture. “I mean...I don't have to like her. I'm not dating her, Haru is. And Haru has gotten very passionate about the water parts of environmental activism, so it's a good thing, right?”
Rin's answer is a firm, yet simple, “No.”
As if Haru needed to be more passionate, or more bizarre, where water is concerned. That is about the last thing he needs.
It is Sousuke who finally ends the current topic of conversation, “I'm tired and all of us have to be at practice in the morning, so time for bed.”
Rin cocks his head to the side, looking over at Sousuke. Rin had definitely heard that, especially the all of us part. “Makoto,” he asks, trying to keep his excitement in check, “Are you swimming again?”
Makoto looks confused for moment, but then shakes his head. “No, no, Rin. The university made some budget cuts for this upcoming year, and they are short on coaching staff. They offered a couple of the trainer positions to students in the teaching program, and I took one of them. I really enjoyed helping with the team periodically last year, so I thought being an official part of the team would be nice.”
Rin goes from hopeful to agitated in the span of a few seconds. He has tried to convince Makoto to get back into competitive swimming since high school ended. Most of their Skype conversations about Makoto helping with the team always ended with Makoto mentioning how much he misses it, of being part of a team. And sure, Rin understands that Makoto has always been somewhat leery of competition, but Rin has a sneaking suspicion that Makoto doesn't dislike competition itself, but rather, he doesn't like losing. Makoto has never been the type of person to easily accept his own personal failings. He probably feels guilty about it or something.
“You're going to swim,” Rin mutters.
Which Makoto replies, he uses his stern voice, usually reserved for Haru or Nagisa, “No, Rin, I'm not. I like coaching.”
Rin is about to continue arguing when Sousuke stops him. Sousuke is visibly irritated when he steps between Rin and Makoto. He takes Rin's half-finished tea, and says, “You are tired and grumpy and we have practice in the morning. Go to bed, Rin.”
“Tch.” It is all Rin can manage, because Sousuke is right. Rin must be exhausted if he is picking fights with Makoto, who is usually the one level-headed person in their friend group who Rin can find solace in when everyone else is driving him nuts. Rin looks over to Makoto, who is still visibly ruffled, and murmurs a, “Sorry, Makoto. Sousuke's right, I'm completely drained.”
Makoto softens instantly, and he even looks a little guilty. “No apologies needed, Rin. I just...” and he lets the words trail off. He looks up at Rin and says, “We'll talk about it later.”
“Sure,” Rin says, and walks with Makoto toward the genkan.
Makoto sits and puts on his shoes, and as he stands to leave, he motions at Rin to come closer. Sousuke is cleaning up, so it is only Rin who hears the thing Makoto practically whispers. “I'm so glad that you managed to convince Sousuke-kun to come. And...” Makoto pauses and gives Rin his sweetest smile, “I'm really glad you are here too, Rin.”
Rin has to bite the inside of his cheek to keep the intense swell of emotions down, because this has been anything but easy. Giving up Australia was possibly the hardest thing he has ever had to do, and Rin still worries it might be the mistake that destroys his career. However, having someone encouraging like Makoto so close, and having Sousuke here with him too, it just makes it seem right.
“I'm glad I'm here too, Makoto.”
Makoto opens the door, and with one last wave goodnight, he slips out.
When Rin returns to the living room, Sousuke already has the tea mugs washed, dried, and put away. He picks up the textbooks on the kotatsu and stacks them in a neat pile, which is when Rin realizes they are there. “Why in the heck are you pouring over those already?”
Sousuke shrugs, “A couple of my professors sent out the reading assignments early. I was bored.”
Bullshit. Rin knows Sousuke better than that. First, if Sousuke is bored he tends to sleep or read fitness magazines. Second, Sousuke never does all of the assigned reading. He is a serial skimmer, and he always waits until the last minute to do it. Finally, Sousuke usually took his studying cues from Rin. If Rin studied, then Sousuke studied. If Rin goofed off, then Sousuke goofed off.
Sousuke looks at Rin and sighs, because Rin isn't doing anything to hide his skepticism of Sousuke's explanation. “Makoto told me that these classes are difficult.”
“Makoto? I thought you were going for a general degree. You change and decide to do the coaching track too?”
Sousuke doesn't say anything, just nods before picking his books up and taking them into the study. Rin wonders exactly how much Makoto has been talking to Sousuke in the last few months. First the apartment, and now Sousuke's degree track. Rin hadn't realized they had become anything more than acquaintances, but it is nice to find out that your friends have become friends.
Sousuke shuts the study door and heads to their bedroom. He strips off his shirt and climbs into bed. It doesn't seem like he's in the mood for more chatting, but honestly, Rin is too tired for that anyway. They can discuss this tomorrow on their way to practice. Rin comes into the room, pulls off his own shirt and his pants and kicks them towards a laundry basket, turns off the light, and gets into bed. Sousuke is on the other bed, lying on his side facing Rin, his eyes shut. Rin crawls into bed and lies on the his side facing Sousuke. Rin realizes this sleeping arrangement might be a deal more awkward than when they had bunkbeds back at Samezuka. Sousuke's eyes open, he watches Rin for a few seconds, and then he has the audacity to smirk.
“Go to sleep, you jerk, and stop making this weird,” Rin says with a laugh. “All I can think about is how I'm ruining your jerk-off schedule.”
“You're the one who wanted to share the bigger bedroom,” Sousuke says and turns over, choosing to sleep on his back instead.
Rin also rolls on his back to sleep, even though he prefers lying on his side, and part of him wants to keep watching Sousuke, if only to remind him that he is really here. Just like earlier, emotion swells, and Rin's vision goes a little hazy with unshed tears.
Rin is so happy to be in Tokyo with Sousuke, and Makoto, and even Haru; but leaving Australia, and the life and relationships he built there, doesn't seem to be as easy as he had hoped. He misses the dorm, and the loud raucous bunch of athletes who roomed on his floor. He misses the ability to go and visit Lori and Russel on the weekends. He misses hearing everyone talking in English. He misses the culture. He misses the oddity and beauty of Australia itself.
Rin wants to sleep, but when the first tear falls, it is like the dam he had been so careful to erect just crumbles. Rin wipes at his eyes and curses himself for being such a damned crybaby, but this is just so much—too much, too fast. There is a feeling settling into the pit of Rin's stomach. It feels like the floor has dropped out from beneath him, and Rin is falling fast and hard through the dark nothingness. What if he doesn't even get on a relay? What if his times don't continue to improve? What if they get worse? Rin was so close to achieving his dream, and somehow he decides that uprooting himself is the right answer?
Barely any of his credits from his Australian university will transfer, and though he had been considering doing a pre-med degree in Australia, that isn't really on the table now, especially with how much time he will have to dedicate to swimming. It would have worked back in Australia, but medical programs aren't structured quite the same in Japan. Rin tries to force the tears to stop, now more frustrated than sad, because Rin never really stops to think about anything. He just pushes forward as fast and as hard as he can, consequences be damned. It has always been that way with him.
When Rin hears Sousuke shifting in the other bed, Rin turns onto his side, choosing to face away from Sousuke, hoping that he'd been crying quietly enough to not alert his friend. But that is just hopeful wishing, because Rin has never been a quiet crier.
“Rin?” Sousuke whispers, but Rin can still hear the worry in it.
Rin can't even find the composure to reassure Sousuke that he is okay, he is just having one of his short-lived freakouts. He'll be fine in a bit, so just let him be pathetic and cry himself to sleep.
Rin kind of wants to scream when he hears Sousuke get out of his bed and walk toward Rin's. He doesn't want Sousuke's comfort right now, because he knows he is being irrational, and even if he isn't, it's not like Rin can do anything about it now since the choices are made.
Sousuke puts a hand on Rin's shoulder, and he squeezes gently. “You okay?”
Rin still doesn't trust his voice, so he shrugs, and hopes that Sousuke can see it in the low light. There is a small nightlight by the dresser, but it isn't much.
Sousuke doesn't say anything else, but his hand lingers on Rin, moving slightly so that Sousuke's thumb works soothing circles into a tense muscle just above Rin's left shoulder blade. Rin knows this should feel awkward, but he relaxes under Sousuke's touch. The hurt and confusion continues to spill out, tears running steadily down Rin's face, but it feels safe with Sousuke lending him a bit of strength.
When Rin's tears finally slow, Sousuke releases him and gets the tissue box from the dresser. He offers one to Rin. Rin blows his nose, and then gives the tissue a disdainful look, because they are the box from Sousuke moved from his room. “Please tell me these aren't your nightly wank tissues.”
Sousuke bites back a laugh. “It's not like I stick my dick in the box.”
Sousuke has the gall to be disgusted when Rin throws his snotty tissue at him. “That's gross, Rin,” he scolds, before picking the used tissue up and tossing it in the trash can. He heads back toward his bed, but turns back and asks, “Are you feeling better now?”
“I think so,” Rin says as he flips around so that he is facing Sousuke. He is a bit embarrassed because Rin is positive that his face is blotchy and tear-stained. It isn't like Sousuke hasn't seen him cry before, but Rin knows how much it bothers Sousuke to see it.
“Want to talk about it?” Sousuke asks.
“Not really,” Rin replies, voice quiet, and even in the dimly lit room he can see Sousuke's brows knit together in worry. “I'm fine, just a bit overwhelmed I guess.”
“Okay,” Sousuke says skeptically, but he doesn't push it. Neither one of them are very good at talking about their feelings.
Sousuke crawls back into his bed, but doesn't roll onto his back. This time he stays on his side facing Rin. Rin watches as Sousuke's lips turn up into a small, soft smile, just for him. Rin can't explain the happiness that he feels at seeing his friend's reassuring gesture, but he smiles back. “Goodnight, Sousuke.”
“Goodnight, Rin.”