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The world was divided between heroes and villains. And those who didn’t care. Most of the world's population had some power, called quirks . Those superpowers could cause a lot of trouble, that meant battles against heroes and villains: Exo and Red Velvet. Yin and Yang, two forces that have always coexisted. The Red Force was the creator of both. EXO were a group of heroes that fought to keep the city safe throughout all these years. They started at 12 members: Junmyeon (Suho), their leader with a water type quirk; Yixing (Lay), his mate and with his healing type quirk, he was in charge as main healer; Sehun, the one who possessed a quirk that could control wind; Jongin (Kai), the one with a teletransportation quirk; Baekhyun, light quirk; Chanyeol. pyro (fire quirk); Kyungsoo, super strength (a quirk derived from earth elements); Jongdae (Chen), lightning/electric quirk and Minseok (Xiumin), his best friend and guy he was pining for as long as he could remember but couldn’t admit nor explain. Minseok could control and create ice with a freezing quirk.
After one of the most difficult battles against Red Force villains, some of them died in action. Losing partners and these never ending battles against villains became the reason for the biggest trauma that affected the group. Tao, Kris and Luhan deaths made them fear death and loss a bit more each day. Because of that, the heroes split to go on fights: Suho and D.O, Kai and Lay, Chanyeol and Sehun; and the only trio: Chen, Baekhyun and Xiumin.
They would fight against the League of Villains from the Red Force. And this was one of those days, a battle once again, this time against Red Velvet, a group of villainesses, their quirks resemble blessings from gods, and in that battle were Irene and Seulgi, the two most powerful and violent women. Thanks to Irene’s fame, she was known by her superhuman strength and her quirk Deimos , a power capable of inflicting an irrational fear through the dreams of those affected, showing one’s biggest fear as reality inside dreams. And her soulmate, meaning, her obsession: Seulgi known for her outstanding beauty, fighting skills and a quirk that could inflict a paralyzing fear, name: Phobos .
That was the most difficult fight so far, Jongdae didn’t know how much he was exhausted but he continued to change the weather and electricity, until he heard a loud and painful grunt. It was Minseok. And no. That would not happen again. Their relationship was a safe place, after Luhan’s death, they became even more inseparable. The Chinese one was part of their world, the center and their friendship was unbreakable. But Luhan didn’t survive the fight they had against a couple of Chinese villains in another city, he died by his own quirk, telekinesis. Nobody could save him, and everyone watched helplessly as the massacre continued.
No, I can’t stop now. Chen thought as he electrocuted Seulgi. In a blink of an eye, he ran towards Minseok. Baekhyun blinded Seulgi and that only made Irene’s anger rise as she beat up Minseok nonstop. Jongdae couldn’t listen to his suffering any longer and used all his power to knock Seulgi down with electricity.
— Baek, help Xiumin! Deimos has him. — He shouted and saw Baekhyun trying to blind Irene with his light as soon as he heard his calling.
Unfortunately, it wasn’t enough. Chen tried to absorb the blow, getting in front of Xiumin, getting some health pills made by Yixing as a helping accessory, and he did not realize what was happening… His vision was filled by a dark and dense cloud, his senses filling up with the smell of blood everywhere. Before he could understand, Baekhyun shouted.
— Chen, retreat. RETREAT NOW.
Jongdae couldn’t care about anything anymore, didn’t answer and shot an electric charge strong enough to make time to run. He put Xiumin away safely but unfortunately, Irene had fled alongside Seulgi. That was a losing battle. That was definitely a cursed day, in every way. Baekhyun was down, unconscious and bleeding, Xiumin had labored breathing, Chen felt an immense wave of panic, pushing the feeling away thinking that it was stress from the fight against those demons… He called for backup to get home. He tried to ignore that strange feeling but heard a ominous voice and a heavy mist clouded up his mind.
Enjoy your dreams, Kim Jongdae.
It had been a hard fight, a hard day. And why the hell did he hear his given name instead of his hero name? What had happened? It was always like that? Jongdae had decided to talk to Yixing. Maybe he needed some healing help, or maybe he needed to talk to someone… Since Suho and Lay had fought once against those Demons, that feeling could be somewhat familiar to the two of them. He felt agitated and confused. His frantic behavior got Junmyeon’s attention.
— Hey, today was tough. I’m sorry I let you guys go alone, I wasn’t there. I didn’t know that they would be there. — Junmyeon said as he held Jongdae by his shoulders.
— Minseok is okay? He’s still with Yixing? — Chen looked spaced out, frazzled.
— Go over there. Yixing needs to see you too. You guys got beaten up pretty hard today. — Junmyeon chuckled and hugged Jongdae again.
Jongdae’s heart felt heavy like a rock as he saw the state his best friends were in, all bruised, bandaged up taking medications. The old sensation that he could lose them at any moment haunted him again, growing as he heard the machines beeping.
— Hyung. — Chen said over a whisper, his own voice sounding like static. What he saw was enough, it made him almost fall to his knees at Minseok’s bed side.
— Dae! — Yixing jumped from his desk to catch the younger boy.
— Xing, help. I can’t. Not him, Luhan and now him. I can’t.
Yixing could feel others’ emotions, high empathy was part of his abilities. Each death in the group hurt them all. He wouldn’t let anything bad happen to his group mates ever again. Using his healing quirk, he put Jongdae in a suspended animation state like the others in the infirmary to do more tests and exams. The battle took place late in the night, now was past noon and everything the leader and Yixing knew about what had happened was that Baekhyun didn’t got hit by no quirks, he only got exhausted due to overuse trying to protect himself whilst blinding Seulgi, not looking into the enemies’ eyes. The overuse was serious, something that almost never happened to him. And Minseok had it worse. Irene’s hits were almost deadly. He wouldn’t survive, his ribs were torn apart and his quirk tried to protect him through hibernation for recovery, and thanks to Lay’s healing, he would be fine by the end of the day, off the machines. But his skin still felt cold and his lips seemed dark and purplish if it wasn’t for the machines, you couldn’t know if he was alive at all. As for Jongdae, he clearly had been hit by a quirk, Deimos . That was enough to bring memories to Lay from the last time he had been hit by it. He knew that it would only last one night, a way for Irene to get revenge for Seulgi and make it so Jongdae never forgets true pain. Yixing held strongly to his wedding ring, took a deep breath and adjusted Jongdae’s medication. There was nothing else he could do, he could only hope that his friend would understand that no nightmare lasts forever. Yixing had to remember this on a daily basis.
Now, mid-afternoon, everyone was better. Baekhyun had recovered with some guilt settling in his mind.
— You know, Yixing? Blinding someone drains me out. Next time, I promise to take more of those pills… At least, that damn Seulgi almost died, thankfully. And Min?
Baekhyun felt bitter about the defeat when he asked about his friend and remembered that he almost blinded someone… But he hurt himself badly.
— Min’s fine, his hibernation state is gone. And to be honest, I’ve never seen it before, not even Myeon has it. But he’s stable now and healthy. Soon he’ll wake. — Yixing stared at all the medical files with a serious look on his face. Being responsible for everyone’s well being was tiring. But they were all, Jongdae seemed calmer, he was agitated in his sleep, starting to wake up, while Xiumin looked a bit more flesh colored slowly, his monitoring devices picked up some activity and some coughing sounds were made. Within minutes, all of them were alive, awake and well again. Nonetheless, Yixing couldn’t shake the feeling and was still worried about Jongdae. The day hasn’t ended and that only brought up memories that insisted on tormenting him after all those years. So, he went slowly to both men’s beds, releasing them to their own rooms. Xiumin was extremely cold as before, but seemed calmer, more natural since he got there. The hibernation nearly killed him, but with Lay’s help, he was better. Hurt, feeling some pain and tired enough to sleep another ten years. His only worry was Jongdae. His last memory on the battlefield was Jongdae holding his face, looking at him with pleading eyes, begging in a whisper only he could hear:
I can’t lose you.
— Dae. — His voice was strained. He scanned the infirmary with trained eyes until he landed on Yixing’s gentle smile.
— He is in his room, do you want me to take you? Let 's go. — Yixing offered knowing the answer,
— Thanks.
— I called Myeon, come.
To help Minseok with his body temperature problem, Yixing wanted Jongdae to rest in the same room together, then he left to find Junmyeon. He needed a hug more than anything.
— Xing-ah, he’s going to be fine. They’re going to be just fine. They have you. — Junmyeon hugged the younger one from behind, kissing his temple.
— Soon it’s getting late, it’s just the beginning. — Yixing tried to relax into the embrace, reminding himself that nightmares don’t last forever.
Seeing Minseok again had a calming effect, as he was Jongdae’s lifeline, the way to calm down Jongdae who was both tired and agitated. He still looked like the old Minseokiki, with purplish lips, but he still was his kitten-like friend… The same smile, a smile that could break down all walls. Chen suddenly knew something had changed, he planned various conversations in his mind and none of them happened yet.
— Hey, can I crash here? After today I understand if you need some time alone… How are you holding up, Dae? — Minseok was inexplicably nervous.
— Stay. I’m okay, those two already took care of me. — pointing to where Yixing and Junmyeon went out of the room.
— You’re really ok? I… I remembered Luhan during our battle, got distracted and almost couldn’t save you… Min, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t talk about him.
Jongdae’s eyes were heavy with tears, an unbearable weight making it impossible to not cry. He was exhausted, he felt the weight of grief since that day getting heavier by now. He knew Minseok loved Luhan as much as he loved him. The three of them were always together, not as a regular couple, or a boyfriends thing. They were never apart. And just now, Jongdae almost lost his significant other, again he hadn’t saved anybody.
Minseok couldn’t understand the exaggerated reaction but went to the younger’s bed anyway. With all care he could muster, he held Jongdae’s face scared that the smallest movement would break him, forgetting his cold hands. He kissed the other’s nose tip and went down pressing his lips against Jongdae’s as he asked permission to continue the kiss. A light peck, enough to bring him back from his trance.
— Hm, I'm feeling a bit cold. Sorry. I wouldn’t be here without you, Chennie. I love you. — Xiumin chuckled slightly trying to snuggle further into the blankets.
— Let’s sleep. I’m dizzy. — Jongdae had a goofy smile, his eyes lit up again. Looking peaceful, not tired or dark.
But little Jongdae knew, his dizziness was the quirk, Deimos working and it was about to be a sleepless night. He drifted off to sleep, it started as a calm dream. Lavender field… he even felt himself drifting off, sleepy, feeling fuzzy and calm. Jongdae had a soft smile, he felt someone hugging him from behind, hearing another one getting closer. They were Minseok and Luhan.
— Lu-gē ? I’m faster, I won! — was Minseok who hugged him with a mischievous grin.
— Dae, he cheated. HE CHEATED, YOU KNOW? — Luhan tried to catch his breath in a laughing fit.
— Now come here, you two. — Jongdae wished that the moment could last forever.
He felt his boys hugging him and peppering kisses, a dark strong fog took place with crows flying low near to the ground… His sleep was once again agitated, the once calm field now gained new flowers, being filled with white roses tainted with blood. Everywhere now had a scent of blood, blood from his battles. And once again, he stood there watching as Luhan died. All these blades were aimed at him, the weapons flew from all directions and he couldn't breathe anymore. Luhan had an amulet with him which could attract those weapons, striking at him until his own end. Death by a thousand cuts, he screamed in vain. He couldn’t stand to hurt anybody after all that and losing control of his own quirk. Once again, Jongdae watched without moving a muscle. That was his personal hell, his torture. Later, that demoniac voice spoke again.
Too bad, right? You have lost everything and didn’t fight back. And now, I got your real names… Jongdae. Now, where’s the other Kim? I killed almost everyone you care about, it would be so fun to break another one of your little group.
Jongdae was completely numb, unresponsive. Felt like the world was still, stuck for a second. What was the meaning of all this? Who the fuck was “the other Kim”? Where was Minseok? No. No. He had saved him. Where was he? Although he tried, he couldn’t make a sound, he was bound to sit and watch as his world crumbled like a punishment. Did he save Minseok? He didn’t know anymore. All he could do was watch each part of his being die like those insufferable roses surrounding him. Suddenly he smelled blood and felt his eyes blur again.
Aw, your other Kim…. he’s here. Isn’t this scenery beautiful? Aren’t you scared now? Or do you need to see again what happens when you fail… Chen?!
Ice crept up his veins as he searched with his eyes and body in any way he could to find Minseok, who was hurt like in the last fight, he wasn’t there to save him and heard a pained cry… to which he couldn’t explain if it was his or Minseok’s. He wasn’t sure of many things by now. He continued to stay there stuck, powerless… useless. Asking himself if it all was a dream or reality.
Jongdae, baby. Thanks to Deimon… This is your world now. We’re getting close to my favorite part….
the voice came back, fogging everything around him, now his field of vision could only see two things clearly. He and Irene approached a wounded Minseok and he didn’t flinch at the scene. Jongdae was responsible for destroying Minseok, the one he loved the most. Irene had a creepy smile with Chen under her control. He saw a version of him who kept suffocating and shooting a deadly charge at Xiumin’s eyes, who froze with his eyes turning blue from all the ice. His frozen eyes were now a permanent mark, a symbol of Jongdae’s death.
Oh my, you have such great potential in my hands… Chen! Send my regards to Lay and Suho. They are my greatests creations, baby.
The cold sensation was back and Jongdae couldn’t recall reality from the fog around him, it was all dark with red hues and he watched, useless, the never ending torture feeling red eyes towards him, monsters eyes, crow eyes, câmeras lenses… Was that real? Anyhow, it was unbearable. He tried to wake up with no success, tried to sleep or set himself free in some way. Before he could breathe again, a breath he didn’t know was held since he saw Irene, a voice drew his attention.
— Dae? You’re sweating. YIXING! — Minseok started to panic and scream, now the coldness from his body had dissipated but still, the room went below zero reacting to his mood.
— I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. — Jongdae screamed, jolting awake, in a crying fit.
Didn’t take long for the other couple in the room next to them, Yixing and Junmyeon to wake up too and the Chinese one seemed more distressed with the whole situation. Inside the cold room, Jongdae held himself closely to MInseok, like he couldn’t function if he tried to let go. Minseok tried to soothe and stop the other one from crying. The other couple got closer to the door.
— Jongdae, I am here, you can see me. Stop crying, please. Yixing, wasn’t he okay?? — Minseok got more desperate and the room, cooler.
— I killed you, haven’t I? She doesn’t stop, they don’t stop. I killed all of you. — Jongdae kept babbling nonsense things.
The only thing that stopped the crisis was waiting for Minseok to get a hold of his quirk and the heat returned to his skin and his room again. The couple tangled in each other's embrace and a kiss drenched in Jongdae’s tears. Yixing broke the silence.
— I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. Tomorrow we can give you something to help, do something, maybe give you an amulet to ground you during these attacks. Deimos is a lifelong mark of the Red Force. — He explained calmly while fondling his wedding ring.
— I’m really sorry for not helping much, I’ve done what I could do so far… Kyungsoo is infiltrated and has contacts in the Red Force. He… He will find more intel for me. — this time, Junmyeon faced the floor as he spoke.
The torturing days were numbered, Seulgi and Irene, the nightmares… The Red Force wouldn’t win. The couple left the room, and all that was left was a Jongdae with terror all over his face and a Minseok trying his best to remember what it was like to breathe.
— I love you, please don’t leave me. I’m scared, I can’t lose you, Minseok. — Jongdae rant in one breath, scared to not say everything he needed.
— Dae, you saved me. You won’t lose me, never again. — Minseok grinned with his signature gummy smile, happily just like Jongdae remembered from his dream.
That smile he loved so dearly. As Luhan did too.
— I love you, Dae.
Xiumin said with a soft face reaching for a jewelry box, pulling out a fine bracelet with a plaque pendant engraved with three pairs of initials: Luhan, Minseok and Jongdae. He handed him the gift. Now, Minseok had gotten shy but said:
— I’ve waited a long time. But, Yixing said you’ll need something to remind yourself that these bad thoughts aren’t real. This is real.
He had right there, his whole world by his side. And, as long as he could see that beloved smile, no nightmare would last forever.