Work Text:
Price was a pillar and for each member of 141, his representation differed. For Gaz, a pillar of patience. He’s pulled him back from some of his more irrational tendencies more times than he could count and always assured him that Karma is a bitch. (And maybe sometimes, that Karma was Price himself).For Soap, a pillar of security. He was somebody who Soap could rely on to be confined in without worry of being judged, or somebody he could rely on to give him direction when he was lost in his own head. He always allowed Soap in, no matter the time or day. Soap always had a place in his office. And for Ghost, probably his biggest achievement yet, he was a pillar of comfort. Price’s knowledge rivaled even Soap’s knowledge on Ghost, allowing Ghost to fully relax in the presence of his Captain. When Ghost goes nonverbal, Price is there. When Ghost's own emotions overwhelm him, he lands in front of Price room, everytime without fail. In fact, all of the boys do. Never at the same time but it was rather a pleasant habit they created unconsciously.
Price was a pillar for all the members of 141 and for the outsiders looking in, he represented strength, professionalism, and most important of all, leadership. He took a group of rather impressive men on their own and made them a team, a force to be reckoned with, a family. Nothing your average Joe could possibly do.
He was this pillar for everybody, whenever and wherever they wanted but at the end of the day, who was there for him? When he’s alone in bed, cracking open the gated wall he keeps all of emotions behind.
Price allows his thoughts and feelings to surround him, lets them soak into his pores and consume his every breath. He thinks of every death, every little mistake he ever made, how many enemies he’s made both in his own government and outside it, how he's a war criminal in probably every country you could think of. And in a way, it helps him to stay tactical but humble so he doesn’t ever make the same mistake twice. Tonight however, it does neither.
Maybe it was because he started to imagine his team as those soldiers that were affected by his bad call. Maybe it was the thought of all of enemies coming after his loved ones because he failed to keep them safe. Maybe it was because his feelings towards his men were a lot less work appropriate and alot more than ‘just friends’. These thoughts, no matter how much he tried to push them away, popped up like an annoying ad. He was getting more and more anxious by the minute sitting in his bed thinking about his favorite people dead.
The itch of nicotine further worsen his mood and he makes an effort to sit up against his body’s wishes. It was almost as if allowing his thoughts to surface reminded his body of every pulled muscle, dislocated shoulder, and bar fight he endured during the daylight. He wasn’t much older than Ghost but by god, he felt it.
His hand slithers across the bed stand, reaching for his beloved cigars. His hand lightly trembles as he lights it. He curses when he lights it wrong. The normal fruity with an oaky finish taste he craves, relishes in, expected, sours the moment he inhales into his mouth. It’s bitter and sends a scornful shiver down his back but he calmly exhales and snuffs the cigar out. Now even in a worse mood, Price decides staying up is not worth it especially if he can’t huff out a cigar-regardless of how cheap the cigars are. He sighs but pulls out melatonin, popping it into his mouth without a second thought and lets the darkness consume him and his thoughts. He’s lulled into a dreamless slumber with a question: where was his pillars when he needed them?
The next few days ,Things got worse for Price. First a coffee spill on his reports. It was 100% his fault but bloody fucking hell, it pissed him off. He stayed couped up in his office after that, politely declining any company that decided to barge in. And then he ran out of cigars, an incident that was also 100% his fault.
He'd been so busy! Whether it was finishing reports till the break of dawn or making new plans that suited each of the boys' strong suits or working out till his body said enough and gave out.
Each little incident, each little inconvenience sent him spiraling further and further into the gated wall that slowly transformed into a picket fence, allowing his private, nighttime feelings to slowly emerge during the day time. They jumped over like sheep without a second thought and raged against his head like a bouncing basketball. The normal ‘plan ahead’ man was falling behind so deep inside his head that he subconsciously changed his entire schedule. Sleep, work, gym, sleep and all in all, avoiding the boys outside of work. He couldn’t let them see him like this. Their pillar of strength, their pillar of comfort, their pillar of patience with exhaustion seeped into his bones and more coffee than blood running through his veins. How could he help them when he couldn’t even help himself?
At least that's the excuse he was telling himself. The captain who could scare the fear into even his higher ups was scared of his emotions and the intensity behind them and more or less, how his workers would feel if they ever found out. A clear image of disgust from each of the men makes him cower at the thought. Rejection he could take but disgust for even thinking about fraternizing with his beautiful, low ranked teammates would shatter his heart into a million pieces. Truth be told, Price didn’t know if he could live with himself if that happened so he put his mental mask on and continued pushing through his paperwork.
The final snap was after the mission. He had seen a lot of good people die, as well as young-damn near kids just out of highschool- die and he carried each burden on his shoulders everyday. But 141 was different. These men were his family, the family that he made with blood, sweat and tears! He couldn’t fathom the idea of them getting hurt so when the mission failed and they were outnumbered with a beat up Soap, a wounded Gaz and an unconscious Ghost, he doesn’t just take it to heart, he lets it devour him. It takes over his mind, and his body. It sews his mouth closed and shuts his mind down, rendering him to a shell of man after they somehow make it back to exfil safely, in a sense.
He makes sure his men are in medical getting the treatment they need including Ghost although he didn’t put up much of a fight. Can’t put up a fight if you’re knocked out he guesses. But when the relief sets in that they’re okay and alive, he relaxes and allows his mind to shut down, to black out once more.
One moment, he’s at medical and next he’s in his room in his pajamas. He stares at his melatonin, willing himself to take it but then his men appear in his mind, all hooked up to IV machines and he can’t. He just can’t. His men are there because of him. They’re alive and safe, thank god. But they wouldn't be there if it wasn’t for him. He didn't have any direct correlation to the bomb that went off-hidden behind the piles of rubble- that they were a little too close to but he should’ve known. He should’ve suspected that the mission was just too easy, too good to be true. And when they were outnumbered, he felt a sense of fear he hadn’t felt in a while.
He rubs his face roughly, a sigh erupting from his lungs as he forces himself outta bed and to his fridge. He can’t sleep, the guilt for his boys-a deep pit in his stomach, curling and gut wrenching that makes him want to throw up- and workaholic tendencies has him staring at nothing particular in the fridge. Price grabs his favorite bottle of whiskey, shoves his feet into his worn slippers and stumbles into his office down the hall. The captain couldn’t even be bothered with the cigar so deep in his misery, he knew he would fuck up another one of his favorite things and didn’t want to take the risk although it only made him more anxious without it.
Price works and works. He drowns himself in the only activity he knows he can’t hurt anyone-other than himself- in. Everytime his cup was empty, it was instantly refilled and at one point he stopped drinking from the cup and drank straight from the bottle. He works till sunrise and then some till he’s drunk himself to sleep.
Ghost finds him an hour and a half later, hunched over his desk with the pen still in hand and the empty bottle next to his face. He’s snoring lightly and there’s a dribble of drool underneath his chin. Ghost is filled with fondness at the sight. It’s quickly replaced when he notices the empty bottle of whiskey and he bends down, softly tapping his shoulder. When he doesn’t wake, Ghost shakes his shoulders a little firmer and Price wakes with a sputter and a wild look in his eye. He was still drunk.
“Bloody fucken hell Ghost, ya damn near gave me a heart attack.” The thick Manchester accent ringing through the room. Price drags his hand through his hair. And then it clicks, Ghost is in his office. He snaps his head towards his direction so quick Ghost thought he was gonna get whiplash.
Price wasn’t like Soap who got very clingy to any person in his line of sight when drunk nor was he like Gaz who laughed loudly and flirted with any of the members that was around but he couldn't help the fond, lovesick smile that appeared on his face. The smile falters a little as he notices the bandage wrapped around his arm.
Ghost watches in silence. It was rare for him to see Price like this. In all honesty, he didn’t know what to do. Price was always the one taking them home after getting drunk at some local bar, he was the one who took care of them so Ghost couldn’t help the feeling that something was deeply wrong. The feeling grows roots into stomach when he starts also adding Price’s latest endeavors of unusual quietness and isolation. He carefully walks over and puts his hand on the Captain’s face, gently guiding him to look up at him. Ghost’s thumb drives itself across Price’s chin and wipes the drool off of Price’s face.
The Captain is half convinced this is a dream as his eyes widen at the contact. His hand is rough but it holds Price as if he was made of glass and at this moment he might’ve been. Ghost’s melted chocolate eyes watched every little antsy movement and bore into what Price felt like his soul. The top of Price’s ear becomes a stark contrast against his sun kissed skin. He can’t help the tell-tale sign of his fluttering head or how his eyes look everywhere but Ghost’s looming figure.“This is one realistic dream” Price mumbles to himself, uncertainly.
“John, What’s wrong?” His first name sounds so nice coming off Ghost tongue. John places his hand on top of Ghost’s before sighing softly and removing it. Placing both hands on his desk, he uses the support to stand up on his shakily legs.
“ ‘m fine, Simon.” He mumbles. His legs contradict against the statement, giving out the minute the sentence leaves his mouth and he’s stumbling into Ghost arms. His big..warm arms. Price wants so badly to stay in them, soaking in the warmth he lacks but he pushes himself out of his arms and back into the desk.
``'m fine” he repeats but he doesn't know whose he’s trying to convince this time, Ghost or himself. He seats back down and swats Ghost away. “If I wanted to leave, I would. Now leave me be.”
Ghost doesn’t move a muscle, his cow eyes stare at him thoughtfully. Price began his paperwork all over again, stuck on writing his name and rank under the watchful eyes of Ghost. He was like an impending doom, reminding him of something he could never have. His anxiety pushes him to shout. “That’s an order lieutenant.”
Ghost watches him for a few more seconds before taking his leave. As soon as he leaves, Price's face is in his hands. He comes to a realization that depresses him further.
Yes, he was the pillar that stuck the boys together but he didn’t have a pillar to rely on because he didn’t let anybody in. Rightfully so! In his mind it made sense why! He wouldn’t let anybody help carry the burden, his burden. The sting of tears makes him laugh harshly. Crying because he was sad and drunk and alone and stupid like a pathetic old man pushed aside. Price can’t recall the last time he cried, can’t even recall the last time he allowed his emotions to overwhelm him like this. Even though he felt like everything was his fault, his men in those white beds, the dozen of men who died alongside him, shit, even the fact that he stubbed his toe on the way to his office was his fault, he wished that his men were here. Simon, John, Kyle. His family.
Price can’t believe he had the audacity to think such a thing when he just sent Simon away for trying to help. He didn’t feel like a grumpy old man, more like a hormonal teenager who wasn’t fully in control of their own emotions.The tears continued to fall and he continued to harshly wipe them away, not noticing the tell tale sign of the door opening.
“John?” A gasp rings through the room. Now aware of the other presences, he wishes they would leave. He wants them there but he wants them gone, he can't make up his mind when it comes to them. He laughs internally as they rush to his side. This time it isn’t Simon to lift his gently, it’s John with Gaz right behind his side.
“What’s wrong John?” Johnny holds him so softly like he’s afraid of one wrong move and he’ll break. This actually makes him chuckle out loud. All of them crowded around him with concern and panic written all over their faces. It’s one thing John loved about his boys, their inability to censor their emotions around him which was the complete opposite of Price. His prized skill was his ability to conceal his emotions but here he was sobbing into his sergeant’s hand. Price shakes his head with a smile.
“‘M fine, ‘m fine. I just need to get back to my room and sleep it off,”Price says quietly. His face was redder than a tomato at all the physical contact the boys were giving him. Nobody seemed fully convinced with his answer including Captain Price himself. But that’s neither here nor there because all of them are staring and watching his every move, physically putting their hands on him. They were driving him insane with the proximity.
He pushes Johnny off him and tries to ignore the look of hurt on his face. Why price thinks it’s a good idea to show off just how coordinated he is, he will never know. He stumbles into Gaz’s arms and still pushes off of him before standing to walk. He can feel their eyes bore into his back but he doesn’t turn to meet them. He doesn’t have to as he trips over nothing and immediately he’s swept up into Simon’s arms. Price opens his mouth but he’s beat to the punch.
“Shut it. I don’t want to hear a single peep from your mouth, John. We’re going to take care of you because you’re drunk out of your mind. Do you understand?” Ghost growled. Price swallows and nods, his cheeks flushing a bright pink. He’d been avoiding them because he was a mental mess only for them to catch him in the worst physical, mental state that he’s been in a while.
“I need a verbal confirmation, Captain” He says softer this time.Price looks into Simon's eyes and he knows he looks silly looking up at Simon with wet puppy eyes, his face weary with exhaustion.
“Yes sir.” He mumbles wetly, a soft sniffle follows quick after. And then they’re off to John’s room. Two sergeants, a lieutenant, and a snuffling, crying Captain in his arms. What a sight to behold.
Once in the room,Simon lays John on his bed. Johnny swarms around him while Simon and Kyle make busy raiding his small ‘kitchen’ for what John can assume water and food. They come back with a glass of water and an apple.
“I’m starting to think you eat cigars for breakfast.” Kyle says distastefully as he hands John the apple. The captain can’t help but genuinely laugh. The sound fills the room and he can visibly see everybody relax.
“We don’t all have the free time to go shopping, Kyle.” He sniffles as he stares at the apple in his hand, refusing to meet any of their eyes.
“Because we have the free time, you should ask for help John.” Ghost looms over him. Most people would tremble in front of Ghost but Simon’s presence brings comfort to him and he aches to be held, to hold them. John shuts his mouth. He knows Simons doesn’t mean harm but the stark disappointment strikes his heart. Tears fill his eye’s once more and he’s trying his damn hardest to keep them at bay.
“Drink some water John.” Johnny says softly from his side. John follows the order without question, downing the entire thing in one gulp. “Now tell us what’s wrong, baby”
The endearment has his heart clenching and he can’t help the blush that spreads to his ear. He feels hands on his back rubbing circles and he takes a deep breath. He doesn’t know where to even begin so he admits that. “I don’t…I don’t even know where to begin.”
“Well start with why you’ve been avoiding us, darling” Kyle says, running his hands through his head. All this affection, it was too much and all in the same, not enough. He wanted more desperately. Used to only giving, receiving felt so nice.
“ ‘m sorry…I… I didn’t want you guys to see me like this. A pathetic old man who can’t handle being alone in his bed.” He laughs dryly.”And when you guys almost died on that last mission…i couldn't…just couldn’t. It was my fault and I couldn't bear the guilt if something had happened to you.”
He takes a deep breath, hiccuping in the midst of it before continuing. His mouth was a broken dam and now with all eyes on him, he couldn’t turn off the vomit of words.
“I’m supposed to always be there for you guys because you’re my boys and I care about you guys. I care about you guys so much, it hurts. Kyle, your smile is as bright as the sun. It warms me up on even the coldest of missions. John the silly way you pop into my room and rant on about demolitions never ceases to put a smile on my face. And Simon,”
John grabs his hand. He still refuses to look any of them in the eye but he isn't hesitant to put the rough hand to his forehead.”You’re so so kind, so sweet without even realizing sometimes. You surprise me everyday at how your kindness knows no limit. You guys are amazing in each of your ways and…and I want to witness it. Close up. I want to be part of your lives. I want….to be more than friends.”
The silence is deafening. It rings through his ears and travels to his heart. This was a silent rejection, the worst kind of rejection. He thought he could handle rejection but every second of silence cracked his heart a little more. He needs to leave, he has to escape from this awkward situatio-
His face is grabbed and before he knows it, he’s kissing Simon. As sweet as Simon was, his kiss was rough, desperate as if this was the first and last time he would ever get the chance.Teeth clanging against teeth, hands on his head refusing to let him get an ounce of breath. Two more pairs of lips are on each side of his neck, sucking and biting, whispering praises into his ear, making him feel so so good.
He moans and Simon releases him, allowing a moment for him to retrieve his breath of air before He’s pulled into another kiss with Kyle, an exact contrast from Simon. It was slow and sweet. He was savoring the taste and feel of John. In the midst of it, his shirt is pulled up and someone is trailing a kiss down his chest only to land on his nipple. They bite on one causing John to buck and whine softly in Kyle’s mouth. John pulls away and closes his eyes. He soaks in the warmth of the hands lips trailing his body.
“Fuck. You’re so perfect John, so beautiful.” Simon murmurs against his stomach.
“So good for us.”Kyle whispers, resuming his biting along his neck. Johnny gently guides John head his way, pecking his lips and having John chase his lips. John whines and Johnny can’t help but smile mischievously.
“Johnny, cut it out.” Simon growls from his position. Angry bites and hickeys decorate John’s chest and neck.
“Can’t help it when he’s so pliant, so obedient like this.” Johnny whispers against John’s lips, connecting them softly. His tongue licks against his bottom lips and John lets him in immediately. Johnny explores his mouth with his tongue,leaving no spot undiscovered. His hand that wasn’t holding himself up, sensually makes its way to John’s erection. Poor John’s cock strains through his jeans. Johnny roughly cups John’s balls. The contact even through his jeans had him arching his back and clenching the boys. He throws his head back and releases a pornographic moan that has all of them stopping in their tracks.
“I..uh..i” John stutters. His face couldn’t get any redder as their gaze darkens. He felt like prey under their stares and he was quickly reminded that they were-in fact- war criminals so scarily dangerous. He gulps.
“Oh so sweet, oblivious John, You have no idea the effect you have on us, do you?”Simon’s smile was small but dangerous. It made him feel like a cornered animal as he whimpered.
“He’s right, you know,” Johnny whispers into his ear, teething his ear lobe and causing John to shiver.” I could eat you alive right now.”
“Now boys, reign it in. Don’t want to overwhelm him on our first night together” Kyle says. John whines pitifully. He was expecting to go all out with them. Kyle grabs his face and kisses him hard. It lasted for a few seconds, shorter than the first time they made out but John’s never been harder. “None of that, darling. I’ve been waiting to fuck that tight hole of yours since the moment i laid eyes on ya. But I want you to be sober so you can feel every inch of my cock sliding in and out of ya. Do you understand?”
John eagerly nods causing Kylee to chuckle. That was a locked in promise and he can’t wait to be sober again.
“John’s been so good to us, letting us take care of him and markin’ him real good. I think he deserves a reward.” The other two nod in agreement as Johnny wordlessly starts moving his hand against John’s erection. He’s so turned on right now. He doesn’t know how long he’ll last when their hand begins moving again, freely roaming his body over his clothes. Simon makes his way back to John’s nipple and instead of biting, he sucks it hard. The other nipply is teased and pulled by Kyle’s hand. It has the older male arching his back to degree he didn’t think was possible.
John could feel the coil in his stomach getting tighter with each hickey on his body, each pull of nipples and every brush against his cock. He didn’t know if it was the alcohol at play or the fact that he was thinking about this for months, edging himself both mentally and physically but he was so close. They all noticed his bucking became a little more erratic, desperate but he could only hear Johnny chuckling about it.
“Are ya about to cum, Captain?” Johnny whispers into his ear. John nods quickly and Johnny pulls at the hair by his neck, forcing him to look Johnny in the eyes. “All from just a little petting? When’s the last time you touched yourself?”
“J” Kyle warns, staring at Johnny with a dangerous glint in his eyes. As curious as Kyle was, this wasn’t about Johnny, this was about making John feel good and loved without crossing his boundaries. Johnny ignored the look and continued to stare at John expectantly.
“Last week….a couple of days..Fuck!” one particularly thrust of John’s hand had him doubling over. God he was so close. Johnny pulls his head back to where it was. “But I didn't cum, I just edged myself to the thought of you guys touching me.”
He could see the look of surprise on Johnny’s face and feel it from Simon and Kyle, their hands momentarily stopped. John couldn’t help the whine that came from his lips from the lack of friction on his dick.
“Johnny, stop teasing, do you want to be punished?” Kyle said but before he could get the full sentence out, Johnny hand resumed and Simon put his hands on his waist. He helped John roll his hips into Johnny’s rough hand. And soon enough, John’s moaning and whimpering, begging for release.
“Go ahead baby, we already gave you permission. Whenever you’re ready.”
“We’ll clean up the mess, Don't you worry your pretty little head about anything.”
“You’re so pretty like this John, all slutty and obedient. You’re doing so good.”
It was so much. He’s never felt this way during any romantic or sexual relationship and without even taking his clothes off. He felt like he was on cloud nine, a dream too good to believe it was real. He doesn’t notice the shared look between Kyle and John as they turn into John’s shoulder, biting down hard at the same time. John practically wails as he cums into his pants,gripping Simon’s hair like a lifeline. Johnny continues his rough pace till John is whimpering and turning tail at the contact. He’s breathing hard and the boys allow him a minute to come down before they begin the aftercare process.
“That was beautiful, Captain,” Simon captures the limbless man’s lips softly and then he’s kissing his forehead. “Next time, I want to see how hard you cum riding my cock.”
“Bloody Hell, you guys are going to give me a heart attack” John mumbles. They all laugh and John can’t help from chuckling. He slowly loosens the hold he has on the men and lets himself fall back. Kyle and John stand up, taking cover by Simon's side as their eyes trace over their captain's body. His legs spread open, forearms over his eyes, his neck and the peak of stomach covered in hickeys and bites.
He was so unintentionally sexy-the actual definition of it and the fact that he even doubted their feelings blew all three of the men mad with wanting to prove their feelings to him. But nonetheless, now was not the time to discuss their underlying intentions or feelings when he-
A soft snore rumbled through the room and the boys laughed again quietly.
“So much for aftercare,” Gaz says through his chuckles, he smiles fondly at their knocked out Captain before turning to the other two.
“What are your orders, Lt?” Soaps eyes are full of mirth as his eyes dance between John and Simon. Simon sighs but it doesn’t come out as irritated, rather the opposite as he slides his hand through his hair.
“You two. Dress down for bed and meet back here in 15 minutes. I’ll take care of John. He’ll make each of us run 5 miles if he wakes up in dirty smalls, 10 if we all dress him down.”Johnny pouted a little but quickly fixed his face. He kisses Simon on the cheek and Kyle follows suit before they both quietly leave.
“Oi! 15 minutes! No fucken around Johnny.” He could hear Kyle’s laugh down the hallway after that.
And Then there were two. Him and his strong, ruthless leader snoring like an old man in a bed that probably wouldn’t fit all four men but they were gonna make it work anyways. If it were for Captain John Price, the glue that held the team together, their pillar of comfort, security and patience, they would do anything to make him happy and a little less alone.