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Mu Qing absolutely did not consider herself a jealous person. In fact, she felt extremely secure within herself as of late and stuck by the notion that nothing would ever change that.

She was all but top of her class from an academic standpoint. In fact, all of her professors loved her. The title of team captain of the swim team was all but falling into her lap. If she were more interested, she would have readily snatched captain of the track team out from under Xie Lian’s nose as well. It just so happened that track was not Mu Qing’s sport of choice, so it made more logical sense to allow Xie Lian to have the title (she was a considerate friend that way).

So, no. The rumbling in her chest was not jealousy. It was only the pure desire to find out who had the gall to lap her and break her personal record.

“Hm? Oh, that’s Feng Xin,” Xie Lian provided when she was asked, fingers threading through her hair to assist the shower in rinsing shampoo from the strands. Her voice was raised a bit too much for Mu Qing’s comfort over the spray. “She moved here for the new semester. She’s in my chem class.”

As they say, speak of the devil and he shall appear. Just then the locker room door swung open and the newcomer - Feng Xin - strode in, followed closely by two others on the team. The scent of chlorine flooded Mu Qing’s nose momentarily before the door closed once again.

The three of them all glanced their way when Xie Lian called out and waved. One looked at Mu Qing before stifling a laugh behind her fist and leaning in towards the other girls. The concrete walls made their hushed whispers bounce right to her.

“Oh, she’s pissed.”

“Who?” Feng Xin asked.

“Mu Qing,” the second girl replied. “You just beat all her records.”

Feng Xin turned her head and met Mu Qing’s scowl. With a roll of her eyes, Mu Qing scoffed and turned back towards the shower to continue scrubbing the chlorinated residue from her skin.

From her peripheral vision, she saw Xie Lian raise an arm and wave her over. From under the spray her voice was muffled, but Mu Qing could easily guess what she said. When she backed away, the pair was already engaged in intense conversation.

“-were great today! You really got acquainted with the team so well - I’m impressed.”

“I don’t think I necessarily got acquainted with everyone.”

Mu Qing didn’t need to look. She could feel the two sets of eyes on her back.

“Mu Qing,” she offered shortly, ignoring the hand outstretched to her. After an awkward pause, Xie Lian picked up right where she left off, directing the conversation away from Mu Qing.

With one final dip under the shower, she shut the water off and wrung out her hair. She wrapped her towel around herself and gathered up her things, then turned only to find her path blocked.

Feng Xin was leaning over the wall, chatting with Xie Lian and preventing Mu Qing from slipping away. She cleared her throat once and was ignored. With a sigh, she momentarily resigned herself to waiting for the two of them to finish.

That was before she found her eyes wandering downwards and holy shit Feng Xin’s tits were huge. And leaned against the wall, arms spread out in front of her, Mu Qing could all but see down into her swimsuit and her face rapidly began to heat up.

In her panic to escape she kicked the swinging door right into Feng Xin’s shin and darted away just in time to avoid the brunt of the resulting curses. Mu Qing had never put in the combination to her locker faster. With her clothes in hand, she bolted into a bathroom stall, changed, and slunk out of the locker room in record time.

Mu Qing was late. She was never late, despite everything else she had going on besides classes.

Being held up at home in the morning resulted in her missing the bus to campus, thus having to walk the six miles to the lecture hall.

Already frustrated, the door swinging open and closing drew the attention of every single person in the room and only served to further deepen the growing flush over her cheeks. The professor snapped his fingers to gain attention back to his presentation and continued without missing a beat.

Mu Qing scanned the room and found her usual spot otherwise occupied. With a heavy sigh, she searched for an open seat only to have her gaze met with a blazing intensity.

Of course, of course there was only one open spot. And of course it was next to fucking Feng Xin. The devil incarnate herself, only rivaled by Hua Cheng. Mu Qing’s shoes suddenly felt as if they were made of iron as she made her way to the seat, eyes following her every move.

As she pulled her laptop from her bag and opened it to the lecture notes, she could still feel those eyes boring into the side of her head.

“What,” Mu Qing hissed, more of a demand than a question.

“My entire left leg is bruised.”

“And?” Her eyes darted between the presentation at the front of the class and her own computer screen, typing out what she believed to be most important, never once looking towards Feng Xin. “That isn’t my fault.”

“You hit me with a door. I think it is your fault.”

“What do you want from me? You should have moved out of the way when I asked.”

“You didn’t ask!” Feng Xin whisper-yelled. “I would have fucking moved if you had asked.”

Mu Qing crossed her arms over her chest and leaned back in her seat. The action caused the cropped sweater she’d chosen to wear to ride up and expose a sliver of her torso. When she finally turned her head to meet Feng Xin’s gaze, she could swear her eyes were momentarily tracing the shape of her body before darting back to her face.

“I did ask. I cleared my throat. That’s the universal signal for ‘please move out of my way’.”

“That isn’t asking,” Feng Xin gaped. “Why won’t you just apologize and be done with it?”

“Because I didn’t do anything wrong. You’re the one that-”

Before she could finish that thought, Mu Qing cut herself short. She absolutely could not admit she lost her shit over Feng Xin’s tits. Her ears burned with humiliation and shame at just the thought of doing so.

There was a quiet scoff beside her. “I know what your problem is.”

“Please, enlighten me,” she responded, voice dripping with sarcasm.

“You don’t know how to handle being told you’re wrong. You’ve probably never been called out on your shit before, have you?”

“Don’t assume you know me,” Mu Qing gritted out.

Feng Xin did not stop. “I bet you’ve never even been told ‘no’ before, either. I can tell by looking at you. Mommy and daddy probably spoiled you to-”

“Shut up!” She sprang up from her seat, almost knocking her laptop off the desk. “You don’t know anything about me!”

All at once, Mu Qing registered the innumerable number of eyes on her as a result of her outburst. But most of all, she couldn’t tear her own eyes away from the tight lipped expression on Feng Xin’s face. Her lips were set in a thin line, and her eyes were unreadable.

But, thankfully, she was silent.

The professor cleared his throat, drawing Mu Qing’s attention. She sank back into her seat with a quiet apology.

“Well, seeing as the two of you already understand our upcoming project so well that you have time to argue during my lecture, you can be partnered with each other as well.”

Mu Qing’s mouth dropped open. She felt Feng Xin stiffen beside her.

It was going to be a long semester.

Whenever Hua Cheng was pulling an all-nighter in the study hall, Mu Qing made a habit of spending the night with Xie Lian.

It wasn’t that she wouldn’t like to spend more time with Xie Lian. It’s just…

Spending time with Hua Cheng was like actual hell. Sometimes just looking at her made Mu Qing feel sick. There were only so many calls of “Jiejie” one could handle and Mu Qing was already far past capacity.

After sitting silently through an hour and a half of Xie Lian’s pampering and listening to her recall her day enthusiastically, Mu Qing finally became the subject of her suspicions.

They were sitting atop Xie Lian’s comforter, facing one another. Xie Lian had one of her feet in hand, painting her toenails a deep purple she claimed would go with Mu Qing’s pale complexion well (she wasn’t wrong, of course). After humming noncommittally once again, Xie Lian glanced up from her workspace.

“Where have you been all night?”

“What are you talking about? I’m right here.”

“No, that’s not what I mean,” Xie Lian sighed, capping the polish bottle. She refused to release Mu Qing’s foot. “You’re here but you aren’t here, you know? Did something happen at home?”

“No.”

“Are you still upset about the records? That was just practice, they’re still standing with the university-”

“No.” Well, yes. But no.

Xie Lian chewed her bottom lip, clearly considering her next words carefully. “It wouldn’t have anything to do with what happened in class, would it?”

“She told you,” Mu Qing deadpanned.

“No.” She raised a brow. “Yes. Maybe part of it.”

“What part would she have told you? That I’m crazy, yelling at her in class for no reason?”

A long pause. “That might be along the lines of what I heard.”

Mu Qing began to wrestle her foot away. Xie Lian’s grip held strong. “Can you just explain what happened from your perspective? Please?”

“Let go.”

“Please? Please, please, please,” Xie Lian did, in fact, drop her foot, but the freedom was short-lived. She instead crawled on top of Mu Qing’s legs, straddling her hips, before wrapping her arms around her torso and refusing to let go. Even when Mu Qing fell back against the mattress, Xie Lian held tight, still begging her to talk.

Mu Qing sighed. “If I tell you will you get off me?”

Xie Lian sat up, her smile wide. “I might consider it.”

Just like that, she was recounting the entire conversation from start to finish. Xie Lian listened attentively, her expression serious but never angry as she lay atop Mu Qing’s chest.

“I just…blew up. In front of everyone. I’ve never done that before. Nobody has ever done that to me. I’ve never been more humiliated in my life.”

Xie Lian made a thoughtful sound in the back of her throat. “I don’t think Feng Xin should have brought your parents into it, but I don’t understand why you didn’t just apologize? You did hit her.”

“Because it wouldn’t have been an issue if she just moved.”

“She doesn’t know how to read you like that yet. If I’d been paying more attention I would’ve had her move over but I didn’t notice either,” she explained. “I’m sorry.”

“Why are you apologizing? You aren’t the one that stood in front of me.”

Her lips parted as she began to explain, then she seemed to think better of it and they sealed again. Xie Lian clambered off from on top of her and regarded Mu Qing fully, still with a face mask and a silly little headband on.

“Maybe you can start small,” she suggested. “Apologize for blowing up and go from there.”

Mu Qing was saved from having to respond by the apartment door opening and a tired voice sounding from down the hall. “Jiejie?”

Distracted for the moment, Xie Lian hopped off the bed and darted out the room with a wide grin spread over her lips. Taking Hua Cheng’s early return as her cue to escape, Mu Qing pulled the bunny-eared headband off and peeled the still damp face mask away from her skin. She lamented the smudging sure to happen as she tugged her socks on and exited the bedroom to attempt to slink away unnoticed.

She made it as far as the door before being caught pulling her shoes on. Xie Lian and Hua Cheng parted from their customary greeting kiss and Hua Cheng turned her head to meet Mu Qing’s eyes, her own narrowed.

“Jiejie stealer.”

“I didn’t steal her,” Mu Qing countered, straightening up and crossing her arms. “You left and I was invited.”

Hua Cheng only responded by sticking her tongue out, which she countered with just as much enthusiasm. As Mu Qing opened the door to step out in the hallway, Xie Lian followed behind her. She waited until she had almost made it down to the elevators to call, “Please consider what I told you, Mu Qing.”

“No promises,” she waved over her shoulder before pressing the button to call the elevator and head downstairs. Stepping out into the cooling evening air, Mu Qing began her walk home.

Mu Qing did not, in fact, do as Xie Lian asked.

She actually didn’t speak to Feng Xin at all the next time they attended class together, despite the fact she idled into the empty seat beside Mu Qing. She only opened her laptop to the research sources she found for their project and set the screen between the two of them without a word.

To be fair, Feng Xin also said nothing. She no longer seemed to want an apology, so she refused to offer one.

As the weeks went on they argued consistently over aspects of the assignment but never ended up in a screaming match again. Practice went much the same as class, though Mu Qing did notice Feng Xin pointedly never lapped her again.

Reluctantly, she agreed to meet at the coffee shop on campus after class a few times a week. For the sake of getting ahead, she told herself. It had nothing to do with the promise of free drinks.

Everything was as fine as it could possibly be. And then Feng Xin didn’t show up to class. The same day, she failed to come to practice. Mu Qing waited until she and Xie Lian were once again in neighboring shower stalls to ask.

All for the sake of their shared project. That was all she was concerned about.

Still, the way Xie Lian smiled at her after she asked had Mu Qing’s stomach turning uncomfortably. She knew that smile; it was the one she wore whenever she had worked out something the rest of the world around her had yet to see. Mu Qing couldn’t imagine what was going through Xie Lian’s brain, nor did she really want to find out.

Still, fingers slipping through her hair under the spray of the shower, Xie Lian kept on smiling and explained. “Oh, she’s sick. She asked me to let you know since you haven’t exchanged numbers yet. I meant to tell you earlier.”

Mu Qing was silent for a moment, her eyes trained directly on Xie Lian as her smile turned more to a devious smirk. “I’m glad to see that you two are getting along better now,” she mused.

“We’re just doing a project together. I’m not failing a class because of her.”

“Oh, sure.” Xie Lian turned her back to her, washing suds of shampoo away from her face. “It just makes me happy that you took my advice.”

Mu Qing pressed her lips together. Her silence must have alerted Xie Lian that something was off, as she turned her head and opened her mouth, likely to berate her, before she was speaking up. “Text me her address.”

“Huh?”

“Text me her address,” she repeated. “We have work to finish today.”

“Mu Qing, she’s sick,” Xie Lian argued. “You could catch it. You can’t bring it home-”

“I’ll be fine. We’re almost done. I just want it to be over with.”

Reluctantly, she dried her hands on the towel hanging over the edge of her stall and typed something out on her phone. Mu Qing was only satisfied once her own phone lit up with a text.

And that was how she ended up at an apartment complex not far from campus, her bag slung over her shoulder, a mask over her nose and an insulated thermos tucked to her ribs with her elbow. Mu Qing checked the address one last time before stepping inside and beelining to the elevators.

She ascended to the fourth floor, headed down the hall and paused once she was outside the correct apartment. With a heavy sigh, Mu Qing raised her hand and knocked four times. It was a long, stretched out moment before there was shuffling on the other side of the door and it opened.

In the little time she’d known Feng Xin, she had seen her in various states of ruffled. She’d seen her immediately after pulling her swim cap off her head, hair plastered to her forehead and barely hanging on to the hairband holding it up. She’d seen her arrive late to class with a stark, wet coffee stain on the front of her white t-shirt.

But never had she seen Feng Xin sick. Really, the only way she would describe it was that a rat had crawled into the apartment and wreaked havoc on her. Nose reddened, her eyes widened once she registered it was Mu Qing standing at her door.

“What are you doing here?” Feng Xin asked, her voice nasally.

“You didn’t show up and we have work to do.” Without ceremony, Mu Qing shoved the thermos into her hands. “Eat it. My mother-” she cut herself off, clearing her throat before pushing past Feng Xin into the apartment.

She set up a workspace using the coffee table in front of the couch, only lifting her head once she realized Feng Xin was still standing frozen at the door. “Are you coming over here or not?”

Nodding slowly, she crept over and slumped down on the couch, the thermos gripped in both her hands. They worked quietly, the silence only broken by Feng Xin sipping at her soup. Only once Mu Qing was satisfied with the dent in the daily goal they put in did she lean back against the threadbare couch with a sigh.

She could feel the eyes on her before she saw them. Feng Xin finally spoke up again, her voice more stable with something warm in her belly. “What are you doing here?” she repeated.

“What do you mean, what am I doing here? I already told you. We had to get something done.”

“No, like,” she paused, pondering her words. “Bringing me food and everything. You didn’t have to do that. We could’ve just gotten on and done it separately.”

“I prefer doing it like this.”

“Whatever, Mu Qing,” she scoffed as Mu Qing began to pack everything away. “Here I thought you were maybe human.”

“Are you insinuating I’m an alien?”

Feng Xin huffed a laugh. “And you have a sense of humor now,” she said. Mu Qing pointedly ignored the jab. “What time is it?”

“Almost midnight.”

“Did you drive here?”

“I took the bus.” Bag packed, she stood from the couch and draped the strap over her shoulder. Feng Xin’s eyes widened again.

“Where are you going?”

“Home?” An eyebrow raised, Mu Qing crossed her arms. “Is there an issue with that?”

“You’re seriously taking public transportation this late?”

Again, her stomach turned. “It’s how I’ve always gotten around. I don’t see how right now is any different.”

“You know you could get abducted or assaulted or something, right?” Feng Xin argued. “Do you even understand how pretty you are? I bet there’s plenty of sketchy guys on those buses just waiting for a chance.”

Mu Qing’s face and ears warmed. She pushed down the flattery in the back of her mind and played it off as best she could manage. “So what you’re telling me is you think I’m pretty.”

Aside from her fever, Feng Xin’s cheeks turned a deeper shade of pink. “I mean-” she stuttered. “Yeah? Who wouldn’t think that?”

“Noted.”

“I can’t help it, okay? Fuck me for thinking you’re nice to look at.”

“If this is your way of coming out to people, you should probably rethink your tactic.”

Feng Xin spluttered from her seat on the couch, her flush creeping down her neck and across her ears and only serving to make her freckles stand out more than they already did. She only relaxed when Mu Qing snorted, arms crossed over her chest. “You can’t just do that. I thought you were serious,” she complained.

“Who said I wasn’t? And who said I’m not,” Mu Qing paused, gesturing vaguely with a tilt of her head. “Too?”

Feng Xin still seemed to get the idea, her eyes going wide before darting away from her. Yet not even a second later, she was straightening up on the couch. “Seriously, I’d feel better if you just stayed here tonight.”

“Thanks but no thanks. I’d rather not break my six year streak of avoiding communicable diseases.”

The dodge only resulted in a hand being held out. “Then at least finally give me your phone number so I can check your location.”

Mu Qing’s nose screwed up, but she was too tired to argue. With a sigh, she handed over her phone and relinquished her phone number after all these months. Once her phone had been returned, she turned on her heel and left without much ceremony.

The bus ride was uneventful, given nobody was really eager to take a bus in the middle of the night. She let herself in the house, was greeted by the nurse to whom she handed nearly every single bill in her wallet as compensation for making her stay so late.

After the nurse had pulled out of the driveway and the lights of her car disappeared around the bend in the road, Mu Qing crept down the hall and poked her head into her mother’s room to ensure she was sleeping peacefully. A small smile over her lips, she left the door cracked and settled against her pillows.

Before succumbing to sleep, she managed to type out a text to Feng Xin to let her know she hadn’t died on the scary old bus, the twisting and turning in her stomach shifting to a fluttering that felt distinctly like the way Xie Lian described how she felt around Hua Cheng.

Despite all her nagging and effort, Mu Qing failed to come to class on presentation day a week later. All her professors were well aware of her home situation and a single email was often enough to have her completely excused from any work missed, but that didn’t mean she was any less irritated about missing something so important.

She was fuming over it as she sat reading on the couch, a random show playing quietly in the background, when there was a knock on the door. With a sigh, she marked her page and left her book on the couch cushions.

The very last person she expected to be outside her door was Feng Xin. It must have shown on her face, because before she could open her mouth to inquire she was being interrupted. “I got it the same way you got mine.”

Mu Qing’s jaw hinged shut with a click as she silently cursed Xie Lian. Feng Xin’s irritated expression changed to one more like guilt as her eyes roamed over her. “You look like shit,” she observed.

“Thank you for insinuating I need to be wearing my contacts and makeup in order to look decent.” Mu Qing snapped. She wasn’t even that offended by the comment itself, only the implication. Nonetheless, she still crossed her arms over her torso, hugging the open front of her zip up hoodie closed.

Again, Feng Xin’s expression twisted, this time into a raised brow. “You aren’t sick?”

She mirrored the raised brow with a roll of her eyes. “Do I look sick?”

Feng Xin pressed her lips together so tightly they all but turned white. Then she threw her arms up in exasperation. “Then why the fuck didn’t you come today? You seriously just left me hanging there,” she ranted. “All that nagging, showing up at my place in the middle of the night, and you just didn’t show up.”

“Something came up.”

“So you just skipped a presentation worth almost half your grade?”

“I didn’t skip; it was an excused absence.” Mu Qing leaned against the doorframe. Feng Xin made another round of mostly unidentifiable sounds, possibly consisting of loosely strung together curses.

“Okay. Fine. You were excused,” she relented. “At least let me come in and thank your mother for the soup.”

Immediately, she straightened and paled. “Absolutely not.”

“Why?”

“Because this is my house and I said so,” Mu Qing argued as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

Still, Feng Xin refused. She took a step closer to the doorway, but never crossed the threshold. “You know, some of us have manners, Mu Qing. Let me come say thank you.”

For some inexplicable reason - perhaps she was tired, or perhaps it was that ticklish, fluttering feeling in her stomach returning with a vengeance now that Feng Xin was so close - she actually stepped back, allowing the space for her to shuffle past.

Feng Xin observed the room before turning to her, clearly searching for directions. Mu Qing soundlessly led the way down the hall, pausing outside the door before knocking. “Mama?” she called.

There was no response, but she hadn’t expected one in the first place. Sleeping soundly on her bed was her mother, the pair of cannula in her nose steadily pumping oxygen into her body the only sound. Mu Qing stood by the door, allowing space for Feng Xin to look inside.

Clearly conflicted, Feng Xin met her eyes. “So, she’s-?”

“Hospice,” Mu Qing finished. She stepped back, allowing Feng Xin to hurriedly retreat back into the hallway. “Sometimes she’s aware but mostly it’s just,” she waved her hand, the door closing with a quiet click.

Heading back to her spot on the couch, Mu Qing watched her stand there in the hall, looking unsure if she was allowed to follow or this was her signal to leave. After some silent debate, Feng Xin crept in and sat down beside her.

After more silence, she finally said, “I’m sorry.”

“Why are you apologizing?” Mu Qing scolded. “You didn’t make her sick.”

“For what I said before,” she clarified. “You really had to be here, didn’t you?”

“Her nurse had an emergency.”

“Your father can’t take care of her for the day?” Feng Xin asked, head tilted.

Mu Qing scoffed. “Considering he’s been in prison since before I was born, he won’t be taking care of anyone any time soon.”

Again, Feng Xin’s expression was pinched as she seemed to be coming to an understanding. “I’m sorry,” she repeated. “Those things I said in class were out of pocket. If it had been me, I would’ve screamed at you too.”

A small, satisfied smile crossed over Mu Qing’s lips but she quickly bit it down. “You didn’t know,” she said through clenched teeth. All too eager to direct the topic of conversation away from her family, she was grateful for the next thing Feng Xin came up with to say.

“So,” she drawled. “The soup?”

“I made it.” Her cheeks warmed, the only warning she had of the pink flush rising on her face. She turned her head away to attempt to hide it but it seemed she had already been caught, if Feng Xin’s wide eyes were anything to go by.

“You know,” Feng Xin began. “It’s kinda nice seeing you like this. All,” she made a vague gesture with her hand, waving it around in circles. “Undone. You put a lot of effort into trying to seem completely put together.”

Eyes narrowed, Mu Qing turned her gaze back. “Is there something wrong with that?”

“No,” she defended quickly. “I’m just saying, sometimes it’s okay to relax a little. We’re in college; there’s no way we all have our shit together a hundred percent of the time.” As she spoke, she reached over tentatively and tucked a few loose strands of hair behind Mu Qing’s ear. She swore she could hear Feng Xin say, “Cute,” under her breath but before she could call her on it, the back of her hand bumped against the clear frames of her glasses.

Feng Xin jumped up and away, off the couch, as if that one touch had been like a wake up call. She fought to form words for a moment, leaving Mu Qing completely shocked silent from her spot on the couch. “So,” she cleared her voice around the crack that had formed in her throat. “I came to say thanks for the soup and I kinda did, so I’ll- Yeah.”

She left in a hurry, the front door closing behind her. Mu Qing was left on the couch, still incapable of speaking. As her heart pounded in her chest, her book lay completely forgotten on the cushion beside her.

Mu Qing felt like she was going through the motions of nationals outside of her own body.

For the past week, she had felt like she was only an observer rather than a living, breathing being on earth. It hadn’t gone unnoticed; Xie Lian kept shooting her not very subtle worried glances, though she didn’t ask questions even once. Feng Xin’s eyes would linger on her when it took Mu Qing too long to properly respond.

Even Hua Cheng was moderately pleasant to be around, making the effort to come sit beside her once or twice in the campus courtyard when she had her head hung in her hands. The only reason she really knew it was Hua Cheng was the toxic mix of paint thinner and flowery perfume that always clung to her like a second skin. She never spoke to her, but she was there, mismatched eyes never once leaving her until she got up to head back to class without a word.

But, in the middle of the five hundred relay, Mu Qing knew it was exactly as Xie Lian had said before: she was there but not there. Every stroke was an effort like never before. She had finished this relay dozens of times before, so why was this one so much harder?

As she tipped her head to take a breath, she caught a glimpse of Hua Cheng and Ming Yi sitting together. Then, on the next breath, her eyes found a couple who both looked suspiciously like Feng Xin and it hit her like a ton of bricks.

Mu Qing tagged the wall, ending her relay. As she pulled herself out of the pool the first thing she noticed was that she was in fourth. The second was the feel of countless eyes on her back, an itch she couldn’t bear to scratch.

She was on her feet and dashing across the slick floor before she had even realized what she was doing. The rush of cold air upon opening the locker room door and slipping inside had goosebumps rising over every inch of her skin. She locked herself in the nearest bathroom stall, almost falling into the toilet bowl as her slick spandex met the porcelain.

The heavy door leading back into the pool creaked on its hinges as it was opened again, interrupting her deep, steadying breaths.

“Mu Qing?” Xie Lian’s voice called beyond the stall door. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” she croaked back.

There was a short huff of breath on the other side of the door. “We don’t really have much time to sit in here. We still need you to come finish the medley.”

“What’s the point?” Mu Qing snapped. “I threw it.”

“Mu Qing, they really didn’t even take that many points off. Fourth isn’t bad-”

Apparently seeing they were getting nowhere this way, Feng Xin’s voice spoke up. She hadn’t even realized anyone besides Xie Lian had followed her. The locker room door never opened, the sounds of the competition hadn’t been amplified. “Let me try.”

Xie Lian’s footsteps receded, but the door still didn’t open. There was a knock on the stall next, sudden enough that Mu Qing’s shoulders jumped. “You wanna let me in?”

Without much thought, she was reaching over and sliding the lock open. The door opened enough for Feng Xin to slip inside. She let it close, but didn’t lock it again, and sank down to sit on the cold bathroom tiles.

They stared at one another before she finally spoke up. “Fourth really isn’t bad. That’s a hard event to finish.”

“I’ve never placed that low before.”

“What’s going on? You’ve been weird all week. It’s not just today.” At Mu Qing’s scandalized expression, she persisted. “Seriously. You’re completely out of it. Are you actually okay?”

She sucked in a breath, determined to keep up with her stubbornness, only to end up creeping to the floor as well. Knees knocking together, Mu Qing did her best to shake her head, insist that she was fine. Except, rather than denying it as she planned, the only sound that came out of her mouth was a sob, raw against her throat.

Goggles hanging uselessly from between her fingers, she dropped her head into her hands, shoulders shaking. No matter how much she cried, the sounds echoing around the locker room and bouncing right back to her own ears, the tears wouldn’t come. Or perhaps they were, and she just couldn’t tell with how soaked the rest of her already was.

The very last thing she expected was warmth to engulf her. The space in the single stall was already cramped enough as they were, but Feng Xin shifted closer, arms circling around her the best they could in the awkward positioning. Mu Qing was left with her breath caught in her throat and enough clarity to realize she had yet to offer an explanation.

“Her examiner came last week,” she choked out, quiet enough that even the stone walls wouldn’t be able to carry her words back to Xie Lian, who was surely still loitering by the door. She couldn’t tell Xie Lian yet, couldn’t bear to look at the devastation that would undoubtedly cross her face. “He-he said she’ll be gone by the end of the month.”

Beside her ear, Feng Xin sucked in a breath. “I’m so sorry, Mu Qing,” she offered. But quickly, she seemed to gather herself and remember the task she had come to complete and the urgency of its success, so she began to reason, “But you had to have known it was coming, right? You’re smart.”

Mu Qing smacked a broad shoulder, but there was no real venom in it, no strength or drive behind the motion. “That doesn’t make it any less-”

“Difficult?” Feng Xin supplied when she came up at a loss for words. She nodded.

“And I can see all of you have someone here,” she confessed. “Even Shi Qingxuan managed to drag Ming Yi out here. Nobody ever fucking sees Ming Yi, and she still came and it just reminded me that I don’t get to have that anymore. I haven’t in years, but I still want it. I want someone to watch me do something I actually like, that I’m good at and did on my own.”

Feng Xin let her rant, hands never leaving her. Her sobs had since ceased but Mu Qing still refused to look at her. “You know,” she began after a moment. “It’s on live television. It’s not the same, but-”

“I already asked her nurse to turn it on for her but I doubt she’ll be able to stay awake.”

“She’s watching,” Feng Xin claimed with the utmost confidence. “I know she is. And if that’s not enough, I’m watching you too.”

Mu Qing’s head shot up, her eyes wide. She fully expected to be met with a grin, then teasing. Instead, she found Feng Xin looking very serious. Her face warmed, partly from the implication of her words but mostly the lack of distance between them. Feng Xin’s eyes scanned her face before she leaned in, closing that short distance with a soft brush of her lips against her own.

Mu Qing hardly had time to process what was happening before it was gone, accompanied by the door swinging open on its hinges and Shi Qingxuan’s voice.

“Okay, so we called time out but I really don’t think they’ll hold it for much longer. Is she coming back?”

“I- Maybe? Feng Xin’s trying to talk to her, I don’t know,” Xie Lian responded, her tone the one often paired with her chewing on her cuticles.

“Take your hand out of your mouth,” Mu Qing snapped at the same moment Feng Xin called, “Stop fucking chewing.”

There was a slap of skin against skin, surely Xie Lian’s hand hitting her thigh as she dropped it from between her teeth. Feng Xin met her eyes, and they stared at each other for a moment before breaking out in quiet laughter. Mu Qing’s head fell against the wall as she attempted to collect herself.

“Good?” Feng Xin asked once her own giggles had ceased. She nodded, once and concise. Another soft kiss was brushed against her lips before she was standing, tugging Mu Qing up with her by her hands. They exited the stall together, Feng Xin’s fingers still laced within her own.

Xie Lian breathed a sigh of relief while Shi Qingxuan pointed furiously at their linked hands, forming no real words and smiling wildly. She hugged each of them before darting out the locker room door, leading the way for the rest of them.

At Shi Qingxuan’s thumbs up, the referee blew the whistle and the medley relay participants lined up at their lanes. Mu Qing knelt, dipping her goggles into the water and rubbing them down with her thumb as Feng Xin got into the water, only releasing her hand to grab onto the grip.

Mu Qing wasn’t sure what to make of the look she gave her as she straightened back up and stepped away to make space for Shi Qingxuan to fit between her and the diving board. The shrill of the whistle broke through the noise inside the pool, and the swimmers all took off. Mu Qing felt herself fading again, the only thing keeping her grounded being Xie Lian’s hands on her shoulders, rubbing and massaging the knots under her skin.

Before she knew it, Shi Qingxuan was in the water and Feng Xin was climbing out. She took one look at Mu Qing, then Xie Lian behind her, and was stuck right at her side. “It’s fine,” she assured. “Stay tight here.” With a hand pressed over her abdomen, Feng Xin began coaching her in a cruel twist of events. Even as she was in position on the diving board, Shi Qingxuan fast approaching, she continued to drill into Mu Qing’s head.

“I know you aren’t normally here for this event,” she said. “You’ll be fine. You’ve got it.”

“If you don’t stop talking to me I’m going to shave your head in your sleep,” she gritted out.

The last thing she heard before making contact with the water’s surface, Shi Qingxuan’s feet just a hair’s breadth from her own, was “She’s fine,” in Feng Xin’s voice, a grin clear in her tone. There were no thoughts in Mu Qing’s mind besides finishing her part of the relay. She refused to allow herself to wander again, even as she was still catching glimpses of Hua Cheng sitting anxiously on the edge of her seat, waiting for Xie Lian to finish off the event.

Before she knew it, Mu Qing was at the wall. Bubbles collected around her feet in the wake of Xie Lian’s dive. She hauled herself onto the wall, pulling her goggles off and dragging her hands across her face. Xie Lian made her turn on the opposite end of the lane, leaving the rest of the relay team watching with bated breath.

Mu Qing only relaxed once she was pulling herself onto the wall - and their team was the first to do so. Strong hands gripped each of her shoulders, fingertips digging into soft skin and tense muscle. “Feel better?” Feng Xin whispered beside her ear. She gave a squeeze to her shoulders once Mu Qing nodded, although stiffly.

The tension returned as every competitor gathered to wait for the final placings to come in. With Xie Lian on one side of her and Feng Xin on the other, it felt almost like they were the only anchors keeping her feet from sliding out from under her on the slick tiles. When the announcement was made, it didn’t even really reach Mu Qing until there were hands on each of their elbows, keeping her upright.

Shi Qingxuan’s excited cheers behind her only made her more unsteady, hardly able to breathe. “I thought I threw it,” she muttered, turning into Feng Xin’s waiting, open arms. The warmth surrounded her, paired with a second set of arms from behind. She recognized the press of the silver ring along with the drag of a thread as Xie Lian.

All too eager to go take a shower, sitting through the photos and the congratulations only left Mu Qing feeling more exhausted than she already was. Once she was finally able to escape and rinse off at the very least, there was no avoiding the feel of eyes on her. She’d never been shy showering around her teammates before, but Feng Xin’s heavy gaze left her feeling hot all over, and it was nothing to do with the hot spray of water from the shower head.

Even heading out into the lobby, Mu Qing could still feel her watching her every movement. Xie Lian fell into Hua Cheng’s arms, easily accepting the kiss placed on top of her head. Shi Qingxuan jumped onto Ming Yi, clinging to her like a koala for all of two seconds before they both lost their balance and ended up on the floor.

Mu Qing was left with a sick feeling low in her belly - not for the first time - as she watched and turned to leave. She was stopped by a hand on her waist. She turned and found Feng Xin, jaw set. “Wait,” she said. “Just-”

“A-Xin!” A voice called, and the couple that Mu Qing had pegged as her parents were approaching. The woman - Feng Xin’s mother - pulled her into a hug and kissed her cheek. “You did well.” Her father gave her an acknowledging pat on the arm before leaving the lobby without a word, car key at the ready.

Feng Xin’s mother doted on her for a moment longer before tilting her head and meeting Mu Qing’s eyes. Her gaze drifted down to the hand still resting against her waist, fingers curled loosely. She backed away from Feng Xin and began to ask, “A-Xin, is this the girl you-”

“Yes!” Feng Xin yelled, much too loud for the situation and the spacy lobby. Mu Qing was left staring at her, brows knitted together. Even Xie Lian and Hua Cheng seemed to have jumped apart at her sudden shout. “She’s the team captain.”

Mu Qing’s expression shifted again, a brow raising, the action mirrored by Feng Xin’s mother. Even she was able to tell the question had definitely not been about her position on the team, but she could wait to comment on it. Feng Xin visibly deflated in relief when a car pulled up on the other side of the glass doors and her mother bid her goodbye.

However, she didn’t leave without giving Mu Qing a hug as well. Stiff, she met Feng Xin’s eyes from over her shoulder, silent apologies spilling from her lips. Once she had gone, Feng Xin’s hand returned. “What are you doing now?” she asked.

“Probably just going home.”

“Do you,” Feng Xin began, then shifted on her feet. “Do you wanna come to mine? Or we could go get dinner or something, I don’t know.” Her hands betrayed her nonchalant words, fingers dragging along her waist and leaving trails of heat on the skin below Mu Qing’s shirt in their wake.

“Yours is fine.”

Relief flooded her face, then a smile spread over her lips. Feng Xin took her hand and led the way out the doors.

Mu Qing wasn’t really sure how she ended up here, spread out and naked on top of Feng Xin’s bed with Feng Xin herself between her legs, licking enthusiastically into her pussy.

Things had started normal enough. They entered Feng Xin’s apartment together, ordered takeout and ate. They settled in to watch a dumb reality show, each on their own respective side of the couch.

It had all happened in a flash. Mu Qing didn’t even know which of them had started it - maybe they were both at fault. All she knew was she ended up on Feng Xin’s lap, and now her clothes were scattered all over the apartment in a trail leading to the bedroom.

She was absolutely writhing on top of the comforter, her thighs threatening to close around Feng Xin’s head and cut off her airflow. Her hands were clawing at anything she could reach; the blankets, Feng Xin’s hair, her own skin. She was overwhelmed in ways she’d never been before. Mu Qing had used toys meant to simulate oral sex before, but they couldn’t compare.

Feng Xin’s lips and tongue were hot, licking and sucking in all the right places to set her nerves alight. To top it off, she knew what she was doing. Mu Qing was left at her complete mercy.

Two fingers pressed inside alongside her tongue, slipping in easily with how wet she was. Feng Xin licked a flat stripe over her labia, trailing upwards to circle around her clit as she curled her fingers just so, leaving Mu Qing keening. She arched up, pressing her hips impossibly closer to that sinful mouth.

Feng Xin kissed once, twice at her clit before her lips circled the sensitive nub and she sucked, drawing a shout from her throat. She grabbed at Feng Xin’s hair, her bun messy and askew on her head, torn between pulling her away and pressing her closer. Her fingers curled and thrusted into her, wet with Mu Qing’s slick and her own saliva.

The bowstring in her belly was growing tighter and tighter with every passing second, until it finally snapped. Mu Qing’s thighs clamped around Feng Xin’s head, pinning her in place, her hips grinding against her tongue as she rode out her orgasm.

When Feng Xin’s fingers finally retreated, she licked along her entire pussy one final time and crept up until they were face to face. Still pliant, Mu Qing didn’t fight as she shoved her tongue into her mouth, still tasting of herself. When she pulled away, a string of saliva kept them connected in the small space between them.

“Fuck,” Feng Xin breathed, sitting back more to observe her. Mu Qing was staring right back at her, still wearing her sports bra and boyshorts. Her tanned skin was a contrast to her pale complexion bracketing her in.

Hands trailing up her ribs drew her back to the present. Feng Xin cupped her breasts in each hand, her palms fitting perfectly around them. Kissing a path down her throat, she slotted her thigh between Mu Qing’s legs, pressing against her still sensitive core.

“Did you-” Mu Qing cut herself short with a hiss when Feng Xin dipped her head and circled the tip of her tongue around a nipple. She huffed a laugh, cool air against her dampened skin.

“Bold to assume I’m done with you already,” she said. With one final kiss between her breasts, Feng Xin sat up and leaned over. She opened a drawer in the bedside table, returning with a harness and a toy. Mu Qing eyed the fluorescent purple piece of silicone as she fit it into the ring in the center of the harness.

Feng Xin stepped off the bed and pulled her boyshorts down and off. Her mouth went dry and she was all but drooling all at the same time, and her view was quickly denied once she pulled the harness on. She crawled back over Mu Qing, her cock catching and slipping through the wetness between her legs as she leaned forward again. Her lips reattached themselves to the line of Mu Qing’s throat, teeth grazing across sensitive skin. “I’ve been thinking about you since the first time we met,” she confessed, right beside Mu Qing’s ear. “I didn’t really give a fuck that you hit me. I was just mad that I couldn’t get you out of my head.”

Her hand drifted across Mu Qing’s stomach, dipping lower with every word. The heel of her hand pressed against her pussy, adding pressure to her clit as she pressed two fingers back inside her. “Did you ever think of me?”

“Don’t get ahead of yourself. A fat ego isn’t a good look for- Ah!” With a shift of her hand, Feng Xin curled her fingers just so and pinched her clit, effectively putting a stop to the insult. “Fuck, yes,” Mu Qing hissed. “Once.”

Feng Xin repeated the action, paired with a harsh bite to her collarbone. “Twice! After we met and after you came to my house!”

Appearing satisfied with her answer, the fingers retreated, leaving Mu Qing clenching around nothing. Guiding with a hand at the base, Feng Xin pressed her cock in, slow and steady. She was left feeling as if all the air had been punched from her lungs once she bottomed out, hips pressed firmly against Mu Qing’s ass.

A bit manic, she pulled and tugged on the straps of her sports bra, trying to pull it off. “Off, fucking- Take it off,” she persisted, only dropping her hands once Feng Xin relented and pulled the offending garment off. Mu Qing was grabbing at both tits before she had even returned, the flesh spilling out from between her fingers.

The first drag as Feng Xin pulled out had her head tipping back, baring her throat and chest. Hands gripping her waist, she pressed back in, setting a slow pace to begin with that quickly dissolved something more frantic. Mu Qing’s legs hooked around Feng Xin’s hips, her heels digging into the flesh of her ass.

Her throat was raw with her whines and moans, the sounds unfamiliar to herself - nothing like the gasps she was able to easily muffle on her own. With a final brush of her thumbs over Feng Xin’s nipples, she moved to instead dig her nails into her shoulder blades, surely leaving deep red welts in their wake.

Feng Xin was panting into her ear, her face half buried in the pillow and half in Mu Qing’s hair. She was murmuring soft praises, her words only adding fuel to the fire in her belly, in between her own gasps and whines as the base of the toy brushed against her clit.

Sweat soaked and still partially coated in chlorine, Mu Qing was fast approaching her end again. The rocking of the bed, the slick slap of skin against skin and Feng Xin’s soft praise all came together in an overwhelming mix. Feng Xin seemed to realize, able to read her after just one time, reaching between their bodies to press and rub at her clit.

Her orgasm hit her like a semi truck, without any warning. Nails dug deep enough she may have drawn blood, Mu Qing trapped Feng Xin against her as she rode out her high. Wave after wave ecstasy flowed through her body.

Feng Xin’s hips pulled back, the silicone cock slipping free easily, completely soaked with her fluids. She loosened the straps just enough to make room for Mu Qing’s hand to fit into the space. Thumb circling her clit, she barely dipped a finger into her cunt before Feng Xin was spasming around the tip of the digit.

She collapsed on top of Mu Qing, and she allowed it for all of ten seconds before she was pushing at her shoulder until she rolled off. The harness was kicked off, towards the foot of the bed, then Feng Xin was tugging her by the arm until they were pressed chest to chest and breathing the same air.

It was silent aside from their slowly calming breathing and the city noise outside. Feng Xin’s fingers were absentmindedly twirling strands of Mu Qing’s hair, and she was soon breaking the silence. “What will you do,” she began. “When everything’s said and done?”

“I don’t know,” Mu Qing confessed. “Probably sell the house and find an apartment somewhere.”

“You could come here,” Feng Xin suggested. “If you want.”

“Like, as a roommate?”

She sucked her bottom lip between her teeth. “I was kinda hoping it would be as a girlfriend, considering we just…Well.”

Mu Qing hummed, dipping her head against her shoulder to hide her smile. “I’ll consider it.”

To say Mu Qing was in a bad mood would have been an understatement.

Her morning had already gotten off to a rocky start, with a message from her current client requesting last minute embroidery changes to the wedding dress she had commissioned. Normally that wouldn’t have been a big deal, except for the fact that she had already finished the embroidery and now had to remove and redo it all.

The coffee maker stopped working, which she only discovered after she attempted to go make herself a cup and it didn’t work. Feng Xin hadn’t even left a note warning her it was broken before going to work.

Every single hairband Mu Qing tried to use snapped, leaving her stuck with claw clips until she got a break to go buy more.

So, needless to say, she had already been in a less than stellar mood when Feng Xin got home and immediately disappeared into the bathroom. She’d decided to just suck it up, only momentarily mourning the lack of greeting kisses, and make dinner, and by the time Feng Xin had emerged she was finished.

“What the fuck?” Feng Xin had said. When Mu Qing turned, she found her dressed, well, to the nines. She was wearing the pantsuit Mu Qing liked on her most, simultaneously adding to her sour mood and pleasing her immensely.

“What are you doing?” She’d asked next.

“What do you mean, what am I doing? I made dinner.”

“We’re going out with Xie Lian and Hua Cheng tonight.”

“No,” Mu Qing assured. “That’s tomorrow.”

“That’s tonight.” Feng Xin even had the nerve to laugh, though she quickly stifled it with a cough upon Mu Qing’s narrowed eyes. She sucked in a steadying breath before stalking away to get ready.

So, after everything else, a wasted meal, being late and spending an unexpected evening with the most infuriatingly in love couple she had ever met was only the cherry on top of a god awful day. The only enjoyment she got was the fact that she knew she was wearing one of her tightest dresses, effectively tormenting Feng Xin the entire evening.

They hadn’t agreed to meet anywhere particularly fancy as far as Mu Qing knew. So when they pulled up to one of the most critically acclaimed restaurants in their city, she was a bit dumbstruck.

Xie Lian and Hua Cheng had already gotten a table, and appeared to have been waiting for a while. Somehow, Mu Qing ended up stuck next to Hua Cheng. Their back and forth elbowing went mostly unnoticed, unlike the bouncing of Feng Xin’s leg across from her.

She kicked her leg multiple times, hissed at her stop because it was making her anxious. The bouncing still persisted throughout the meal.

During dessert, Mu Qing noticed the looks Feng Xin was sending to Xie Lian. At least, she was trying to. Every time she tried to turn her head, Hua Cheng was there, spoon feeding her another bite of cake. It was the most disgusting public display of affection she’d ever seen, never mind the fact that she and Feng Xin were just as bad in private.

When Feng Xin finally managed to catch Xie Lian’s eye, she pointedly looked between her and Mu Qing. They exchanged some silent words before Xie Lian hopped up, left enough cash to cover their half of the bill on the table and declared, “San Niang, I really want the fox in the claw machine across the street.”

Hua Cheng was standing in record time, and the pair of them left without another word. Mu Qing watched their backs go, confusion and suspicion beginning to bloom in her chest. When she turned back to Feng Xin, she had her cheeks mostly stuffed with cake.

“What’s going on,” Mu Qing deadpanned.

Feng Xin swallowed her mouthful. “Am I that bad?”

“Exceptionally bad.”

Slumping back in her chair with a sigh, she stared up at the ceiling while Mu Qing crossed her arms. When she lifted her head, Feng Xin was chewing her bottom lip. “Okay, I still don’t know how to do this, so-”

“Are you breaking up with me?”

Feng Xin’s eyes went wide. If there hadn’t been a table between them she probably would have been on Mu Qing’s lap, or dropping to her knees and worshiping at her feet. “No,” she defended. “No, absolutely not. Actually, I wanted-”

“What are you bringing me out in public to do then?”

“Mu Qing, listen,” she sighed. She dragged her hands over her face before they dropped to her lap. Just when it appeared she may have given up on whatever venture she had planned, Feng Xin really was getting on her knees, right in front of her.

“I love you,” she began. “You know I love you. I’m not breaking up with you. I’m trying to do the opposite, but I really don’t know what to say.”

Mu Qing stared, silent. She had absolutely no idea how to react, what she was meant to do, when Feng Xin fought with her pocket and, upon her victory, produced a small box. She opened it, and seated inside was a simple silver ring with a diamond embedded inside the band.

“If you’ll take me, Mu Qing, I would love for you to marry me.”

Mouth opening and closing like a fish, Mu Qing was still unable to form words. When her lips and brain finally came to the same wavelength, the only thought she could produce was, “What the fuck?”

Feng Xin’s face fell, clearly taking it as a rejection. Then Mu Qing was joining her on the floor, her fingers closing around her wrists. “You seriously couldn’t have done this before the coffee machine broke? I’m so fucking pissed today, you don’t even understand.”

Her head dropped to Feng Xin’s shoulder. She didn’t care that they were in the middle of a restaurant anymore, the stress of the day coming to a head all at once. “Yes,” she muttered. “Yes, I’ll marry you, god.”

Finally seeing her response, Feng Xin seemed to be working in overdrive to get the ring situation on her finger. They managed to get back into their chairs and finish their cake, each of them more comfortable now that their days had taken this turn.

There wasn’t a claw machine across the street. Xie Lian and Hua Cheng had watched from the window the entire time.