Work Text:
I am a table. I am a rectangular four-foot wide by eight-foot long, golden oak table with lots of grain, a leg on each corner, and a polyurethane sealant. This is important, because though it removes me from the level of 'fine' furniture, it adds to my versatility and my longevity. I was purchased in the early 90's by the U.S. Air Force Quartermaster in a spasm of upgrades for the offices of NORAD. After I was delivered I was reassigned to a priority slot in a new command under the mountain cryptically referred to as SGC. I can seat eight formally, ten comfortably, and twelve friendly. Because I was purchased without chairs, I knew that my life would be one of utilitarianism not formal dining. In other words, I'll see a lot of service of all kinds.
I am now sitting in tall lady Sam's office. There is a large bulky, metal thing on my broad back and it is very heavy. Tall lady Sam has come in every day and played with the machine. Well, I suppose she's playing but she is not winning the game. She grumbles and fusses and every once in a while she says 'damn'. Once she even leaked her red oil on my top and she hit the machine with her big wrench and said 'fuck' very loud! I was surprised; she very seldom uses that word.
Tall civilian Daniel had come by the office to see how tall lady Sam was doing on her project. He is my favorite mobile and had only returned to us a few months ago. It was so nice to have him back, even if I couldn't stay in his office forever.
He had only been there a few minutes when tall military Jack also came into the office. He had been walking down the hallway whistling, when he peeked in through the open door. He stopped short at the doorway and turned into the room. He walked in very slowly behind tall civilian Daniel and looked around his shoulder. "Whatchadoing?"
The two scientist mobiles looked at him. Tall lady Sam pointed at the machine. "I'm working on this generator to see if we can get it to work in a dependable and effective manner."
"Is that the Naquadria generator thingy?" Tall military Jack had a funny unhappy look on his face.
She nodded, and looked at him. "Yes, I'm trying to find a way to control the surges so that we can use it to power the gate when we're off world. If I can get it to work properly, it will be a lot smaller and lighter to transport than our naquadah model."
Tall military Jack nodded. "Shouldn't you be doing that in one of the HAZMAT rooms?"
"Well," She frowned at him. "I suppose that I could move it, but it's easier here with all my equipment..."
The older mobile frowned at her and said in an unusually harsh voice. "Carter, I want you to load it all up and do your testing in a controlled environment. I don't trust that stuff;" he glanced over at tall civilian Daniel. "I don't like it."
"Jack," tall civilian Daniel protested. "I'm sure Sam has all the safety procedures in place. I trust her."
"I'm just saying, Daniel, our track record with this stuff is crap!" Tall military Jack turned to look at him directly. "You know I trust Carter. I trust her work. I just don't like this stuff, trust it, or even want it the hell on this base." He looked at tall lady Sam. "I can't stop you from your experiments, but I can insure the safety of everyone here. Humor me on this one, Carter, okay?"
She smiled a small sad smile. "Yes Sir. I'll move my equipment."
Tall military Jack nodded. "Thank you. Daniel, you're with me."
Tall civilian Daniel looked at him stubbornly. "I can help Sam."
"No. I need you to help me."
Tall lady Sam's small smile changed into a grin with dancing eyes as she nodded. "I'll get Siler to help me move my equipment." She said easily. "Don't worry, Daniel. The Colonel is right. We do have proof that this is dangerous material. It should be in a more protected area."
Tall military Jack nodded. "Thank you, Major." He looked at his friend, "Daniel, about the translation for SG-12, Major Smith has some questions about the diplomatic connotations on the seating arrangements for the meeting with the uh, Talosians."
"Oh, really?" Tall civilian Daniel looked at him oddly. "I thought Captain Kirk had that all worked out?"
Tall military Jack shook his head, took his friends arm and led him from the room. "Bitch, bitch, bitch."
Tall lady Sam sighed and shook her head. She picked up the phone and made dialy noises on it. "Siler, please come to my office and bring some strong backs with you."
Tall military Siler and some other very large mobiles appeared in her office in a quick jiffy. After explaining what the Colonel had said, the mobiles talked a bit then picked me and the generator thingy up and carried both of us to the great big shielded room on the bottom level. It was exciting for a table.
Tall lady Sam had followed us down carrying a big bag of tools and equipment with her. When they put me down and left, she looked at the machine and sighed. "Well, I might as well get some dinner." She said to me, "It'll take me all evening to get this set up right again." The mobiles often talked to me, which I appreciated but found a little odd. After all I am only a table. But then tall civilian Daniel always talked to his computer and me. We enjoyed the conversations very much and we learned a lot about different people that he had met. But now, tall lady Sam put the bag on my broad top and left us alone in the dark while she went to visit my brother tables in the commissary room.
Several hours later, tall military Sam and tall civilian Daniel came back to the room talking and laughing. She stopped him at the door. "You'd better not come in, Daniel. The Colonel wouldn't like it."
He frowned at her. "But you need the help, Sam."
"Yes, but you need to go figure out how to talk to the Talosians." She smirked at him. "I think the Colonel wants some of that Tran'ya."
"Yeah, right. I'll get right on it." Tall civilian Daniel laughed. "I wonder if Jack knows their ambassador's name is Baal?"
"Oh, crap...well, he's got to be easier to talk to than the Gorns."
"I don't know...they probably speak Unas." They both laughed, a wonderful musical sound. I still enjoyed hearing it. It had been absent a long time while tall civilian Daniel had been gone.
"You better get out of here; I'll see you in the morning." Tall lady Sam patted him on the shoulder.
"Yes, Sam, sorry; and you be careful, okay?"
"Okay all ready. Now go so I can get to work without the Colonel coming down here." She waved him off.
It had been a long day for tall lady Sam. She had been at work since early this morning and she was opening her mouth and making yawnie noises. But she didn't quit work on the machine and I could tell she was getting really tired. These mobiles never seemed to know when they had worked too long. Tall civilian Daniel had often fallen asleep on my top and tall military Jack would come and fuss at him and take him away. But tonight, no one came and she kept on working long past when the corridors got quiet outside the heavy metal door. Tall military Jack would not be pleased.
Finally, her mobile body made the decision for her and she lay her head down on her paper books. I could tell she had gone to sleep like tall civilian Daniel did because she started to breathe quietly and a little moisture came out of her mouth. We stayed like that for a long time and I was happy to hold her safely.
After a long time, I began to feel something odd on my wooden surface. The generator machine was beginning to vibrate. I didn't like the feeling at all, it was wrong. No object should do things without permission of their mobiles. It is very dangerous for everyone. I wanted to wake tall lady Sam up, but tables can't do things like that. We can only sit, watch and experience.
But luckily, coffee cups with metal spoons in them can. The rattle of metal on porcelain is a particularly annoying noise when sounding right next to a mobile's ear. Just when the vibration was getting very bad and making my four stout legs shiver along the concrete floor, tall lady Sam woke up. Then, suddenly, sirens started screaming and red lights started flashing and the big heavy steel door banged open and tall civilian Daniel and large alien Teal'c came running into the room.
Large alien Teal'c grabbed me by my edge and flipped me over, throwing the vibrating machine off onto the floor and he turned me on my side like a divider. Tall civilian Daniel grabbed tall lady Sam under the arms and was dragging her through the door. But the door was locked! No one had remembered that when all the emergency alarms are sounding that all the big strong security doors lock automatically! Tall civilian Daniel let loose of tall lady Sam and pushed her behind me. She must have been still asleep because she fell down to the floor really hard. Then tall civilian Daniel started pounding on door, yelling in a loud voice to open the damned door! Now!
Large alien Teal'c grabbed me and pulled me towards the entrance too. We all knew that the bad, hot radiation would penetrate even my thick oak top with its strong polyurethane sealant, but I was better than nothing. And of course, I willingly offered myself for whatever protection I could be. Then, tall lady Sam was awake and started yelling at large alien Teal'c. She tried to get up from where tall civilian Daniel had dropped her, but she couldn't. Large alien Teal'c grabbed a big metal room divider and dragged it over in front of me.
Then large alien Teal'c reached back and grabbed tall civilian Daniel. He pulled him down to the floor beside his friend and then covered both of the younger mobiles with his large powerful body. Then the evil generator exploded!
The large metal room divider was driven into me with great strength! His hard gray side slammed up against me, driving me back towards my three mobile friends. Luckily, I was on my side and my strong oaken legs kept me from smashing the mobiles that had taken shelter behind me into the stupid obstinate locked door. For a short while I think even I lost the ability to think and feel.
But after a little while, I could tell that we were mostly all right. I could hear noises and stupid stubborn door finally opened. A bunch of mobiles dressed in yellow suits came in and took my three friends away from beneath me. The yellow mobiles said they were taking them to a place called a de-con-tam-in-ation room.
Then after they were gone, one of the mobiles, tall mechanical Siler came in and turned on a switch on the wall. Thick white foam came down out of the spray nozzles in the room's ceiling. The white foam spewed down and covered everything. Then he and some other mobiles came in with brooms and brushes and started spreading the white foam all over the floor, the wall and what was left of us poor broken furniture.
We were left alone all covered with the cool foam so the bad radiation would leave and we could dry in peace. Then, several hours later, tall mechanical Siler came back and started to look at all of us that was left from the big explosion. The stupid bad generator was completely gone. There were only a few little pieces of his metal that lay around on the floor. Some other mobiles came and swept them up to be put in a yellow bag and taken away.
Tall mechanical Siler tried to sit me up on my four legs but I tilted off to one side. I had broken a leg. The explosion had pushed me back so hard against the room's wall while I was protecting my friends that it had splintered into two pieces. That was how powerful the explosion had been. But the brave metal wall panel had taken most of the terrible burns; my surface was still only marred by the one spot it had on it from before. Tall mechanical Siler sat me back on down on my side with my broken leg on the floor so I wouldn't fall. He shook his head, patted my corner and then he left me alone with the other pieces of broken furniture in the room.
Much time had passed, as the mobiles keep count, and we all dried out from the foam. Then stupid door opened again. This time it was tall military Jack. He was very quiet as he walked into the center of the room and looked around at all of us poor broken pieces of furniture. I could tell he was upset. Tall military Jack is not quiet by nature. He is usually always talking or waving his hands around in the air. But today, he was very quiet and slow. He looked at the room, at the ceiling, at brave metal wall and finally he saw me sitting against the surviving chairs. I was still lying on my side with my broken leg stretched out on the floor in front of me.
Then he did something very strange. Tall military Jack, whom I have seen do very many things, sat down on the cold hard concrete floor next to me and began to shake. If I listened very carefully I could hear him make very odd, almost silent, sounds. He leaned back against me and looked up at the light fixtures. I could feel him shuddering and one or two wet spots dripped on the floor beside me. I became very worried about my other friends. What if I hadn't been strong enough? What if when my leg had splintered I had hurt one? What if wonderful brave metal wall hadn't been enough to protect us from the evil naquadria generator? I felt very bad for my friends and very worried.
After a few minutes, stupid door opened again, and I was relieved to see tall civilian Daniel come into the room. I do not breathe, so I could not sigh, but I would have if I could. Tall civilian Daniel was leaning on a cane stick again and he limped up to where tall military Jack was sitting. Then he slowly sat down next to his friend on the hard floor.
"Jack," he said quietly. "Jack, are you okay?"
"Yeah, no, I don't know." Tall military Jack didn't look very tall now. He was sitting on the floor and looked old and tired.
"Well, you're honest."
"Might as well be." Tall military Jack looked at his friend. "Fraiser released you?"
"Yes, I can go home now. I'm on seventy-two hours sick leave." Tall civilian Daniel looked at him. "When can you leave?"
"I'll tell Hammond, he'll let me take you home." Our older mobile scrubbed his face with the heels of his hands.
Tall civilian Daniel laid a hand on tall military Jack's arm. "Want to talk about what's going on with you?"
He looked at his friend. "What?"
Tall civilian Daniel rubbed his friend's arm and looked at him worriedly. "This is not like you, Jack, I'm concerned. I've spent the last hour looking for you and no one knew where you were."
Tall military Jack looked at him, "I couldn't believe it when the alarms went off." He shook his head. "Carter never makes mistakes like this."
"She was tired, she dozed off," the younger mobile said. "She is only human after all, Jack. I've done it; you've done it...."
"But three thousand-year-old artifacts or weekly expenditure reports don't usually explode when an overworked person passes out on them." Tall military Jack said quietly. "We were so lucky, Danny. " He paused and looked up at his friend. "When I heard the sirens, I knew it was Carter and I just knew you were here too. I just wasn't sure about Teal'c."
Tall civilian Daniel nodded. "He was with me. We were in the hall coming from the gym."
"How are they anyway?"
"Janet's keeping Sam overnight to treat her for a concussion and radiation exposure. Teal'c took some metal shards in his back when he covered us so he'll be there for a couple of days. I have a sprained knee from him pushing me down on the floor."
Tall military Jack took the younger mobile's hands in his and looked at some ugly blue marks on his arms and wrists. Tall civilian Daniel smiled at him. "I was beating on the stupid locked door trying to get it open."
"Fail safe measures."
"Not very safe it seems."
"Safer than the damn thing going off and flooding the whole SGC with radiation, which by the way, you weren't supposed to be near."
Tall civilian Daniel looked at him over his glass lenses. "Oh, I was supposed to leave Sam in here? Or send Teal'c in alone?"
"No, I know you couldn't do that either." The mobile looked at the floor and my poor broken leg. "It seems this table takes better care of you than I do."
"What? Is this...?"
"Yeah, look, here's the rounded corner and I don't even have to look to find the bullet scar on the top." He stroked my edge gently.
"What do you think they'll do with it?"
"Oh, I'm gonna have it carted down to Siler. He'll have an idea of what to do."
Tall civilian Daniel nodded. "Dave will fix it, probably replace the leg."
"If they scrap it, I'll buy it." He smiled. "I owe this old table a lot by now."
"Me too, it always seems to be around when we need a friendly shelter."
"I think it likes you."
"I think it likes us." Tall civilian Daniel smiled warmly at the other mobile. "So, can you give me a hand up? I'd like to go home now."
Tall military Jack returned his look. "How about my home? Pizza and a movie?"
"Why, Jack, people will talk." The other mobile laughed.
Tall military Jack slowly climbed to his own legs and reached down for tall civilian Daniel. "Why should they stop now? You know we're the hot topic since you've come back."
"Well, then, lets go start some new rumors." Tall civilian Daniel laughed as he took the offered hand. The two men walked slowly out of the room, my favorite mobile limping beside his friend.
Several hours later, tall mechanical Siler came into the room and pointed a yellow box at me. When it didn't do anything, he had two other mobiles come in and they carried me out of the terrible room. I was glad to leave it, and its memories behind me. Once again, I was taken down into the place where my tall mobile friend worked his miracles.
Tall mechanical Siler turned me upside down on my top and measured me carefully, tickling me. Then he took a little black box and clicked it at me. He told one of his junior mobiles to take the pick-ture and go to a place called Civil Engineers and for them to match the pick-ture with a leg of good oak. He said to tell them it was for Colonel O'Neill. Then, after they had left he very carefully unscrewed my poor broken leg. It didn't hurt as I am a table, but I worried that I couldn't bear any weight without it to balance me. But the wise mobile Siler had moved a chair from out of the corner and he balanced me carefully so that I wouldn't wobble. Then, he went to the cabinet and took a soft cloth and a bottle of wood soap and began to rub me firmly but gently with the toweling. I was sticky from the white foam, scuffed from the brave metal wall that protected us and scraped from being driven across the floor by the explosion. The wood soap soothed my surface and cleaned my finish. It is as wonderful a feeling as an inanimate object can be given by their mobiles. Finally he finished and I stood quietly, resting from my labors as he went into his office.
After a short while, the junior mobile returned from Civil Engineers and he had a long slender package with him. Tall mechanical Siler came out of his office and took it from him. When he unwrapped the paper, it was another oak table leg. It was still raw wood, but as I watched he took some bottles of stain and varnish. He lay the leg on my surface and began to work his magic. Soon, in time, my new leg began to take on the rich golden tone of my surface. Then, he gently lay me down on my side again and began to attach the new leg to my body. After only a short time, I was once again whole and sturdy sitting upon my new leg. I felt wonderful! Tall mechanical Siler once again polished my surface and then I was left to dry overnight in the peace and quiet of his workroom.
The next day was uneventful. I was once again relocated into a storeroom where I would wait until I was needed. It is, after all our lot in life. But those who stand and wait also serve.
But I never rest long and soon, the maintenance mobiles came and got me to take me up to the General's briefing room. The sat me in front of the big impressive briefing table and by the tall mahogany podium. We don't see each other much, but I do like the podium. He always has something interesting to say. But we didn't have much time to talk. Some more Administrative mobiles came into the room and they put a funny looking long necked machine on my surface. Then, a lot of stapled together papers. Finally, they put a pile of clear plastic sheets with drawings all over them next to the machine. Then wooden chairs were slid under me.
By the time they were through, a bunch of young mobiles were coming in and sitting in the leather chairs around the big impressive briefing table. Soon, some older more senior mobiles came in and sat at the head of the briefing table. Tall military Coburn, medium medical Warner, medium military Ferretti and large alien Teal'c came in and sat down too.
After a few minutes, tall civilian Daniel, tall lady Sam and small medical Janet came in and sat down behind my surface to look at the other mobiles. Finally, military man in charge Hammond, tall military Jack, and foreign mobile Chekov came in.
Tall military Jack stood very straight and said. "Room, attention!" and everyone stood up. Military man in charge Hammond said "as you were." And everyone sat down.
Then, tall civilian Daniel stood up and started talking.
After a long while later, when tall civilian Daniel was through, tall lady Sam talked and then finally small medical Janet talked. For a while, everyone talked. Then military man in charge Hammond said something profound, thanked everyone and soon everyone left.
Everyone, that is except tall civilian Daniel, tall lady Sam, large alien Teal's, small lady Janet and tall military Jack. They all came together and stood around me.
"Good briefing kids." Tall military Jack said with a smile. "I didn't hardly yawn at all."
Tall civilian Daniel laughed. "No, but I want to see the doodles."
"What? And give away all my secrets?" he laughed softly.
"It is a death glider, Danieljackson."
"Why am I not surprised?" small lady Janet said in a firm voice.
"Hey," tall military Jack replied. "I take these two with me...I don't have to remember what they know."
"Oh, then you don't want me to go with SG5 to...."
"No, I don't. I don't want you to go anywhere without us as backup." tall military Jack said firmly. "I don't want you to go off world, out of the country, into the next state, downtown or across the damn street." He turned to glare at tall lady Sam. "Or you either. I want you both to go home and get plenty of sleep. Then, tomorrow, Teal'c and I will escort you to dinner and a movie. It's Friday, we're down for the weekend and I don't want anymore accidents with my absent minded geniuses" He looked at large alien Teal'c. "Right?"
"Indeed." tall alien Teal'c intoned seriously. "I will add my words of caution to O'Neill's. We have our own mission next week and neither of you can be spared. Our team must remain intact."
"Okay, okay, I'll be more careful." tall lady Sam turned all warm and pink and giggly. "But, I still have some work to do...so I'll see you all later."
Small lady Janet smiled and nodded. "Me too, SG3 is still cluttering up my wardroom. I'll see you all later."
"Very well," large alien Teal'c nodded his head, then looked at his leader. "I have a class to teach." he smiled in a secret way. "There are eight new marines being assigned to the SGC. I will instruct them in the ways of Jaffa."
"Have fun, T." Tall military Jack smiled and nodded. Large alien Teal'c only smiled and nodded.
Tall civilian Daniel watched his friends leave then turned to his special friend. "So you want me to go home tonight and sleep?"
"Certainly," tall military Jack replied. "I want you to finish your work, come home with me and sleep in my bed. Is that so wrong?"
Tall civilian Daniel looked at him in a funny way. "Yes, yes, it is."
"What? And ruin our reputations?" Tall military Jack arched an eyebrow at him, "Not to mention the betting pool."
"Betting pool?"
"Sure, I'm ahead in the 'what happens to Doctor Jackson pool' for the weekend."
"You are?"
Yeahchuryabettcha." He tilted his head and looked at tall civilian Daniel. "And I plan on being the big winner."
The two tall strong mobiles laugh as they turn out the light and leave us furniture alone in the dimness.
I am a table. I am a rectangular four-foot wide by eight-foot long, golden oak table with lots of grain, a leg on each corner, and a polyurethane sealant. This is important, because though it removes me from the level of 'fine' furniture, it adds to my versatility and my longevity. I sit now in the Command Briefing Room of the SGC and I hold on my strong top many secrets. Some of them are of wonderful things, some of great dangers and some are the best kind of all. I am trusted to guard them for my friends.