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Disclaimer: I do not own OUAT or its characters.
Note: This story has been sitting on my drive for a while, so I polished it up a bit and put up here for y'all to read. If there's enough interest I'll write another oneshot in this universe, so review and let me know what you think.
A Mother's Love by Lovebuck
Regina watched her adopted daughter scarf down her dinner like she hadn't eaten in weeks. It was always amusing to watch Emma be so unaware of how unladylike she was. The blonde haired girl was a tomboy at heart, preferring to wear jeans and t-shirts instead of dresses and heels, and interested in sports and video games instead of boys and makeup. She was Regina's polar opposite in that fashion, but it was one of the things she loved about her.
They finished their dinner and stood side by side at the sink, washing and drying their dishes like they've always done for as long as either could remember. Not for the first time Regina noticed that Emma was as tall as her now, and was set to grow even taller. It made Regina both proud and sad. Proud that her daughter was growing into such a lovely looking woman, and sad that she was no longer the little wild child who used to crane her head up all the time just to smile at Regina.
She had first taken in Emma as a foster child when Emma was nine years old. Regina had been interested in adopting an infant, but her work schedule as mayor of Storybrooke meant she wouldn't be able to give the needed attention to someone so young. So, she had tested out the waters by fostering a child. Emma had been her first and last.
Emma had gone through a rough journey, having been handed off from one horrible set of parents to another. By the time she made it to Regina, she was bitter and closed off. Regina had taken one look at her and been reminded of her own horrible childhood with her overbearing and verbally abusive mother. She remembered what it was like to think a mother's love was a curse.
It took over a year for Regina to break through Emma's walls before the child finally learned to trust her. By the time Regina had finally seen Emma fully open up to her, she had come to love Emma dearly. On Emma's eleventh birthday, she had officially adopted her. At their paper signing, Regina saw Emma cry for the first time. If it was possible, Regina would have loved Emma even more that day.
Now, she couldn't imagine life without Emma. She loved her wholeheartedly and dreaded the day when Emma would go off to college, which was quickly approaching. Emma was a senior in high school and was in the middle of her college applications. Every one she helped Emma fill out broke her heart a bit. When the time came, however, she would let Emma go with grace. She wouldn't turn into her mother and try to chain Emma to her side.
"What's wrong?" Emma asked, cutting into Regina's thoughts.
Regina realized she had been staring at Emma silently for an extended period. She smiled sadly at her daughter.
"Just reminding myself that I won't have you around the house forever. I'm going to miss you when you head off to college."
"Mom, I'm not flying off to Antarctica or anything," Emma said with an easy grin. "And we can Skype whenever we want."
"I know, but it won't be the same."
They retired to the couch to watch a movie and by the end, Emma was lying on the couch, her head in Regina's lap. Regina combed her fingers through Emma's long, wavy hair, trying to ingrain Emma's face into her memory. She didn't know why she was feeling so melancholy. She didn't realize how unprepared she was to deal with the thought of Emma moving out one day.
The sound of Emma's cellphone ringing disturbed Regina's thoughts. She grabbed the phone off the side table and frowned when she saw that it was Emma's friend, Killian, calling. He was a popular boy who had a lot of admirers around Storybrooke, and Regina had heard more than one story about him bedding any girl that would give him the time of day. Regina had seen the way he looked at Emma and knew he was planning to add her daughter to his hit list. Despite the fact that Emma claimed he was one of her best friends, Regina wished the boy would leave her daughter alone.
Regina pressed ignore, silencing the phone.
"Who was it?"
Regina looked down to find Emma staring up at her.
"Killian," Regina answered honestly. "He should know better than to call so late. It's inappropriate."
"There isn't an appropriate bone in his body," Emma said with a silly smile.
"Especially the one in his pants."
"Mom!" Emma laughed, slapping Regina's arm. "Gross!"
"I call it like I see it. And that boy has been looking at you like a piece of meat for months. Be careful around him," Regina warned.
"Well, you don't have to worry about that."
Regina felt the way Emma tensed before she sat up and moved to put a bit of distance between them.
"Are you alright?" Regina asked, resisting the urge to grab Emma's hand. It was obvious she needed space.
Emma chewed on her bottom lip as she anxiously looked around the room. Regina couldn't resist any longer and reached over and grabbed her hand, making Emma look at her.
"Honey, you can tell me anything. I'll still love you no matter what." Regina smiled. "It won't change the fact that you are my daughter and you mean the world to me."
Emma's eyes teared up and her breath hitched. "Mom...I'm gay."
Regina wasn't totally shocked, but what did surprise her was the fear she saw in Emma's eyes. She realized Emma had been afraid she would be rejected.
"Thank you for telling me, dear. And I still love you, though I'm a bit upset that you thought that being gay would change that." Regina laughed when Emma jumped into her arms and hugged the crap out of her. "I should be angry at you for thinking I could love you any less, but I'll let it go just this once."
"I love you, mom," Emma whimpered into her neck before she broke down further and started sobbing. "I love you so much."
"I love you too, my dear, dear Emma," Regina murmured into her daughter's hair. "Never forget that."
Regina had underestimated how hard it would be to watch Emma move out. By the time Emma's beat up yellow Volkswagen was packed up with the last of her belongings, Regina was a teary mess. Emma had been accepted at Boston College, which wasn't as far as Regina had feared. But just the thought of no longer having Emma at home was breaking her heart.
"Mom, I'll still visit you whenever I can. Like, I bet I'll be here every other weekend," Emma said softly, walking up to her mother and hugging her.
Regina clung to Emma's strong frame and wished she could just force Emma to stay. Her daughter was now a few inches taller than her and had filled out beautifully over the summer. She had always been eye catching, but now she was truly breathtaking. It worried her how much attention Emma would get at college being the beautiful blonde that she was.
"Do you want to stay for dinner?" Regina tearfully asked.
Emma smiled sadly down at her. "You know I can't do that. I have to leave now if I want to make it there in time.'
"I know," Regina sniffled. She hugged Emma tightly, remembering how warm her body was and how sweet her hair smelled. She ingrained the moment into her memory. It would have to last till their next meeting.
"I love you, Emma," Regina sniffled.
"I love you, too, mom," Emma chuckled, kissing her temple.
After watching Emma drive away, Regina retreated into her house and for the first time since Emma came into her life, she felt alone. She walked into her den and poured herself a glass of hard apple cider. It was going to be rough without Emma, but she had to keep it together and not fall apart. She had to ignore the voice in her head, the voice that sounded just like her mother, that was whispering to her ways that she could coerce Emma into coming back home and enrolling in a nearby community college.
Regina finished off her glass before pouring another one as she mentally beat back the voice. She refused to be like her mother. She refused to be another Cora. It was enough that Emma was alive and happy, and loved her as much as a daughter could. It had to be enough, no matter how much her heart ached for more.
It was a month before Emma finally visited and Regina was jittery with excitement when Emma's car pulled into the driveway. It was early morning and she was still in her bathrobe, but she could care less. She smiled hugely when Emma jumped out of her car, dressed in her college branded sweater and jeans, and ran up to the front door, picking Regina up in a monstrous hug.
"I missed you so much!" Emma laughed, spinning Regina around in the foyer.
"Not as much as me," Regina chuckled after Emma put her back down. Her eyes teared up as she cupped Emma's face. Had she grown even more beautiful in the past month? Regina couldn't help herself and impulsively leaned up to peck Emma on the mouth.
Emma was blushing furiously and had a goofy smile on her face. "Jeez,mom, that's embarrassing."
Regina just smiled and hugged Emma again. She had her daughter back for the moment. And even though she would have to say goodbye again, she was going to focus on the here and now.
They spent the day hanging around the house, catching up on whatever was left out of their phone calls and emails. Emma had dated a girl briefly she met in one of her classes, but broke it off when she found out the girl was sleeping with their professor in exchange for better grades. Regina had growled and demanded to know the girl's name and home address so she could call her parents. Emma had just laughed and talked her mother down to simply bad mouthing the girl for a few minutes.
Regina had devoted more time to her job as mayor in past month, though no amount of work could make the house less empty. When Regina admitted she had even gone out with Sydney Glass a few times, the town newspaper editor who had an infatuation with Regina, just to avoid being alone all the time , Emma had frowned and hugged her mother.
"I wish you would tell me these things when I call," Emma sighed. "I would have visited sooner."
"I know, dear, but I didn't want to bother you." Regina pulled back and smiled at her frowning daughter. "Just knowing you're having a good time at college is good enough for me."
"I would have an even better time if I was sure you were happy." Emma grabbed Regina's hands. "Promise me that you'll call and tell me whenever you're feeling lonely. If I don't pick up, just text me. Okay? You shouldn't have to turn to someone like Sydney Glass when you have me."
"You're phone bill is going to go through the roof if I do that," Regina joked. "And Sydney isn't too bad for company after a few glasses of wine."
"I'm serious."
Regina was caught off guard by the no-nonsense look Emma was giving her. It reminded her of the looks she used to give Emma whenever she had to give her daughter a stern talk. Regina smiled and caressed Emma's cheek, chuckling when Emma blushed.
"Okay, dear. I promise."
"And no more dates with Sydney, okay?"
"You really don't like him, don't you?"
"He's fine. I just don't want him touching my mother," Emma growled.
Regina laughed and hugged her adorably annoyed daughter. "Don't worry. You're all I need, Emma."
When bedtime came around, Regina was adamant that they both sleep in her room like they used to do when Emma went through her night terror phase as a child. Emma had rolled her eyes and reluctantly agreed, but Regina knew Emma was just putting on a tough front.
"I'm not a little girl anymore," Emma whined when Regina said as much after they had both crawled into her king size bed. "I'm only doing this because I'm such a loyal daughter."
"I know, dear," Regina said, her tone mocking at best. She chuckled when Emma poked her leg with her toe.
They had just settled down when Regina realized she wanted them to be closer. She knew she was being needy and pathetic, but once again, she refused to be like her mother, who used her affection like a whip to keep Regina in line. If anything, Regina had always tried to be the opposite of her mother. She would be open and honest and shower Emma with love till she got sick of it. With that in mind, she shifted closer to Emma, who had turned on her side and was facing away from her, and scooted closer till she could feel the heat radiating of her daughter's back. Emma must have sensed her presence, because she turned around to face her and looked just as wide awake.
"Hi," Regina said with a smile.
"Howdy," Emma chuckled. "Can't sleep?"
"More like I don't want to sleep, I guess. I'm just so happy you're here." Regina reached up and cupped Emma's cheek. "I'm the happiest when you're home."
Emma blinked rapidly and reached up to cover Regina's hand. "I love you, mom."
"I love you too, Emma," Regina whispered. They stared into each others eyes, both of them getting teary eyed.
Then...it happened. Regina wasn't sure who initiated it, but the next thing she knew, Emma was on top of her and their mouths were molded together. It was the sweetest kiss she had ever experienced. Emma's mouth was so soft and loving, and her body was deliciously warm and pressed down in all the right places. And just as fast as it had began, it ended when Emma seemingly disappeared.
Regina blinked and sat up just in time to see the adjoining bathroom door slam shut. The sound echoed in the room and shattered Regina's heart. She scrambled out of bed and stopped at the closed door, her hand frozen over the door handle. It was quiet in the bathroom.
"Emma?" Regina tentatively called out. Nothing. She gulped. "Honey, I-I'm sorry, I don't know why I did that. Please, forgive me, I'm sorry."
"What are you talking about?" She heard Emma sniffle and realized that Emma was sitting against the door. "I was the one who kissed you. I'm the fucked up one."
Regina closed her eyes and rested her forehead against the door. "No, you're not. Emma...I shouldn't have…I'm sorry. I…." Regina felt tears sting her eyes. She had just wanted to love her daughter. "I'm such a bad mother."
She yelped when the door was suddenly yanked open and strong hands gripped her arms. She blinked at the wet eyes of her daughter who looked fiercely into her eyes.
"You're a great mother. The greatest mother in the world," Emma whispered vehemently. "I...I'm just messed up. You're my mother and I twisted my love for you into something dirty. God, I even lied to you about my girlfriend." Regina frowned in confusion. "She didn't sleep with her professor. I broke up with her because she wasn't you. She looked a bit like you, and even had some of the same mannerisms. But she wasn't you."
Tears leaked out Emma's eyes as she backed away. "Don't you see? You're not bad mother. I'm a bad daughter."
"Oh, honey," Regina sighed, reaching to cup Emma's wet cheek. "I couldn't imagine a better daughter than you."
"Just think of one that doesn't want to jump your bones," Emma chuckled darkly, rubbing at her eyes.
Regina studied her morose daughter. She just wanted to love her daughter with all that she was. She searched her heart and knew that if Emma wanted to love her in a way beyond their daughter, mother relationship, she would gladly accept it. Not just because she wanted Emma to be happy, but because she greedily wanted to be the center of her daughter's life. It was a dark part of her that she must of inherited from Cora.
"Emma, I love you," Regina said hesitantly. "I love you more than anything else in this world. I would give you anything you wanted." She grabbed Emma's hand and placed it over her chest. "Even my heart."
"Mom, no," Emma sobbed, her face twisting up as tears started pouring from her face. "God, you've always gave me everything and I just take and take and take." She backed up till her legs hit the bathtub. She sat down on the ledge and dropped her face into her hands. "I'm a fucking leech, mom. I can't...I won't take advantage of you like this."
Regina wiped at the few tears that had escaped her eyes. She was seeing her daughter in a new light and it pained her to realize that Emma must have been struggling with these feelings for years. She walked forward and knelt in front of Emma, her hands resting on Emma's knees.
"Remember when you first moved in with me? How hard it was for you to trust me?"
Emma sighed and nodded. "Yeah, I was a little shit back then. I gave you such a hard time."
"You did," Regina said with a fond smile. "And remember the day when everything turned around for us?"
Emma smiled as more tears escaped her eyes. "Y-yeah. I got into a fight at school and the principal wanted to expel me. You came in and defended me to the point of threatening to crush his balls." Emma chuckled. "It was the first time anyone ever took my side. I was in shock. I was so horrible to you, I wondered why you were fighting so hard for me."
"It was because I wanted your love, honey." Regina cupped Emma's face, wiping away the tears with her thumbs. "And that hasn't changed. I still want your love, no matter the form in comes in."
"But, mom-"
"Emma, can I be incredibly selfish right now?" Regina asked. Emma nodded. "What I desire the most in this world is to be the most important person in your life. I want to always have you at home where I can find you, and I want to be the one who always takes care of you. I always knew that one day somebody else would do that for you. But...if there's a chance that person can be me…if you could give me your heart..."
"Mom, what are you saying?" Emma sniffled, looking incredibly vulnerable.
"I'm giving you permission to fall in love with me," Regina whispered, holding Emma's gaze, hoping that Emma could see all the love she had for her.
Emma opened her mouth, no words coming out, looking absolutely tortured. So, Regina listened to her heart and closed the distance, pressing their lips together. She felt Emma sob against her lips before Emma wrapped her arms around her and kissed her back.
Regina felt her heart sing and cry at the same time as they stumbled out of the bathroom, clawing at each other as they desperately kissed. Regina gasped when Emma roughly shoved her onto the bed before falling on top of her, jamming their mouths back together. Regina wrapped her arms and legs around Emma, her silk nightgown riding up to her hips. She moaned into Emma's mouth when Emma's hand dragged up and down her naked leg, nails raking over her skin. Her hips moved against Emma, grinding into her pelvis, heat and wetness pooling at her center.
"I love you so much," Regina breathed into her daughter's mouth, tears stinging her eyes. She felt like she was being smothered by her love for Emma.
"Mom," Emma whimpered as she dragged her mouth away and placed open mouthed kisses down her jaw to her neck where she began sucking on the sensitive skin. Regina's breathing was growing more ragged as Emma continued to rock her hips into her faster and faster. Her panties were already soaked and she needed Emma to be closer.
"Emma, wait."
She felt her daughter stiffen and pull back to stare down at her with frightened and vulnerable eyes. Regina assuaged her growing fear of rejection by grabbing her hand and forcing it between their bodies and to her soaked panties. Emma's eyes widened and her jaw dropped.
"You're so…"
"Wet," Regina breathed. "For you."
Emma groaned and dropped back down to kiss her again. It grew rougher and more passionate as Emma slipped her hand into her wet panties. Regina tightened her arms around Emma, moaning and whimpering into Emma's mouth as Emma's fingers searched through her folds. She hissed and shuddered when two fingers found her opening and plunged in.
"You're so tight," Emma panted. "Please, look at me."
Regina hadn't even realized she had shut her eyes and opened them to see Emma's almost desperate expression looking down at her. Emma began thrusting into her, the heel of her hand grinding into her clit. Regina rolled her hips into every thrust, her mouth hanging open in a perpetual gasp. Regina grabbed the back of Emma's neck and forced her back down into a heated kiss. Emma's fingers hit a particularly sensitive spot and Regina's body locked up as an orgasm crashed over her. She shook and spasmed and might have even screamed a bit. By the time reality came back into focus, Emma was molded on top of her, her face buried in Regina's neck as she humped Regina's bare thigh at a frenetic pace. Regina held Emma close, whispering loving words into Emma's blonde mane, loving the feel of their breasts crushed together and Emma's drenched panties dragging up and down her thigh. She felt Emma cry into her skin as her body began shaking uncontrollably.
Regina held Emma through her orgasm till her daughter had calmed down and knew that nothing would ever be the same again. She just hoped that love was enough to get them through whatever came next.