Archive of Our Own

The moment he left the shop, Michelle knew it was him.

She’s been having this feeling in her chest, like something wasn’t right. Like her life turned one hundred and eighty overnight and she suddenly lacked something. Information, an object, explanation, something. Something was amiss and she didn’t know what it was or how it happened, but it was such a real and deep feeling, she couldn’t just dismiss it.

At first she tried to. She spent more time with Ned than she ever remembered spending with the guy before. She went out of her way to show the world that everything was A Okay with her and that nothing was out of the ordinary. She told her arguing parents that she was perfectly fine and oh so very excited about going to MIT, because who in their right minds wouldn’t be excited about it, right? She told her classmates and Academic Decathlon team that she couldn’t wait for the end of the school year and that she just wanted to move on to the next chapter of her life because she felt like everything from her current stage has been fulfilled.

But it wasn’t true. The gaping hole in her heart – the missing part in her puzzle – drove her insane. Sometimes she woke up in bed, sweating and heaving as if she’s been running for hours. She knew that she had some kind of dream and that it felt real and sincere and genuine. But she couldn’t recall a single thing. Just the feeling of something completing everything about her… fading away with her wakefulness. Somewhere in her subconscious, her mind knew about something that she couldn’t figure out. Something that made her life whole. And she couldn’t reach it.

There was this moment when she considered telling Ned about it because if she couldn’t tell her best friend about this strange feeling squeezing her chest, who could she turn to? But he looked so happy about MIT and getting out of his house and leaving everything behind to learn new things and hang out with her, she didn’t want to weigh him down in any way. So she kept it to herself. Though sometimes she had the feeling that Ned felt it, too – this hole, this emptiness, this feeling that he wasn’t complete anymore.

So Michelle kept her mouth shut and just let life carry her towards the end of the school year. She spent her mornings at school with her few friends, her evenings at home or with Ned and her afternoons at Peter Pan Donut & Pastry Shop. It was a routine she could live with. It was something she could easily roll with without raising any suspicions as to why she was a little distracted all the time, looking around like she might find the answer to the riddle of existence somewhere in her close vicinity.

And then this boy stepped into the shop one random afternoon, all awkwardness and kindness and jittery-energy. He was like a bouncy ball in a human shape. He was like a firework, waiting to be sent up, up, up and to the sky. At first Michelle didn’t see or feel anything different about him. Just another costumer. But then he introduced himself, like some kind of awkward lead character in a movie and Michelle felt this pang in her chest. Just one. It was small and could have easily been ignored… but she felt it. And she found herself admitting to Peter Parker that she was honestly excited about MIT, which was very unlike her, yet he seemed unfazed. He even completed her mantra as if he knew it already.

And she just knew. The moment he grabbed his coffee and left the shop, the bell above the door ringing merrily in his wake, Michelle knew deep in her heart that whoever this person was, he was the one she’s been waiting for. It wasn’t something that she missed. It wasn’t an object or a place or a memory. It was a person. A whole, entire person that she felt like she should know. Her bones seemed to ache at the realization that she didn’t know a single thing about this guy because it felt so wrong not to know. It felt so incorrect to look at him and not have any memories together.

She didn’t know why or how or what, but she did know that Peter Parker was the person she’s been looking for. Whoever he was, he took a part of her with him and she wanted it back. She wanted to find out what happened and why and how come this random person didn’t tell her anything when he clearly knew something. He acted like he was going to tell her something, she recalled. He even held this paper in his hands, like he was about to recite something to her to make things easier to him. Or maybe to her. But he didn’t. He changed his mind, shoved the note into his back pocket and ordered the stupid, damn coffee.

Which left her with this aching feeling in her chest. She was so close to her answers, and yet Peter Parker snatched them along with him as he marched out the door. Her eyes scanned the street outside even though she knew Peter Parker was probably long gone. She pursed her lips and walked back to Ned, nodding along to his words even though she didn’t really hear a thing.

It would be okay. Peter Parker would be back. She didn’t even need to ask herself how she knew it – she just did.

He came back a week and a half later. His clothes looked a little like they were in dire need of getting cleaned and his shoes squeaked on the floor as he walked towards the counter. No paper in hand. No note, no explanation, no nothing. He just entered the shop, looked up and locked his eyes with Michelle’s. His lips split into a sad smile that he was clearly trying to make more joyful.

Michelle leaned on the counter and looked at him as he stopped right in front of her, body still jittery, but a little less than last time. He had a camera hanging around his neck and an old backpack hanging from his shoulders, obviously a little heavy, though Peter Parker didn’t look like he was feeling the weight. Instead, he shifted in his place for a moment, his eyes darting around the shop as if he was trying to figure out what to look at.

“Hey.” Michelle greeted him eventually and Peter Parker looked at her again, his eyes not drifting away this time.

“Hey.” He grabbed the straps of his backpack and Michelle followed the movement for a moment, her heart constricting in her chest. She felt… she felt… something in her chest. Something that she couldn’t explain quite right. If she could only understand what it was, maybe she’d know what was going on with her a little better. What Peter parker had to do with it all. “Hi. Umm…” He bit his lips nervously and shrugged a little. “C-can I please get a coffee?”

Michelle smirked. “What, no introducing yourself with your full name this time?” She teased and he blushed and looked away, his hand flying to mess with his hair. She swallowed her need to laugh and nodded. “Sure, coming right up.” She turned around and started working on that coffee, aware of Peter Parker’s eyes trained on her back the entire time. But then she turned back to him and he looked away quickly, his head snapping in the direction of the deeper part of the shop. Michelle smiled. “There you go, Peter Parker.”

He blinked at her in surprise. “You remember my name?” He asked. There was a hint of… something in his voice. Michelle wanted to guess it was hope, but it sounded too cheesy for her taste, so she just let it go for now.

Picking up a towel, Michelle wiped her hands and winked. “I’m very observant.” She said and there was a glint in his eyes that made her heart melt. She shoved the feeling away in order to concentrate, though. She had to pay attention. She had to get some answers. “So what do you do? I mean, you know I’m going to MIT soon. It’s only fair that you tell me your plans.”

“Free lancer.” He said, one hand picking up his coffee and the other messing around with his camera. He looked down at it, a fond smile on his face, and then turned back to Michelle after he checked that there was no one else behind him. There wasn’t. Only Richard was in the shop, enjoying his muffin in the back. “I work for J. Jonah Jameson.”

“The Daily Bugle guy?” She said, though it came out as more of a sneer. Michelle didn’t usually look down at people she didn’t personally know because she tried to be fair. But this guy had some kind of personal vendetta against Spider-man, and that was not okay. She owed the vigilante. A lot. She wasn’t a fan of the Daily Bugle. Her Lips tugged downwards in disproval. “Oh.”

Peter Parker’s eyes widened a little and he shuffled his feet. “Y-yeah, him.” He said, sounding a little bitter about it. Then he shook his head. “I just couldn’t find anything else to do. And I really needed the money. And even though Jameson’s a jerk, at least he’s willing to pay. And snapping shots of Spidey swinging around isn’t that hard.” He sighed. “I wish he stopped slandering him, though.”

Okay, maybe the guy could still be redeemed. “You take pictures of Spider-man?”

“Oh, yes. I used to have a Stark Internship,” He said and although Michelle expected it to sound like bragging, it came out more like a fact he wanted to state. “But then… umm, a lot of things happened. And I met Spider-man through the Stark Internship so he knows me and he heard I needed this money, like, a lot and he offered to let me take pictures of him. He’s really nice.”

He sounded so awkward and embarrassed by his own words, Michelle wanted to coo at him and tell him it was all alright. She didn’t, of course, because that would have been weird and creepy. But she nodded at him with a smile on her face. That was the best she could think of right now. She still didn’t have answers about why Peter Parker seemed to fill this Peter-shaped hole in her life. She needed to know what he had to do with this gap, but she didn’t know how to approach this and she didn’t want to scare him away.

Unfortunately, just then the bell rang as another costumer came in and Peter took a sharp step away from the counter, a look of panic on his face. He looked back at the person who moved around him to get to Michelle and then back at her. He didn’t say anything. He just lifted one hand, waved at her and left wordlessly, his coffee clutched in his hand like he was afraid of dropping it. At this rate, he was going to squeeze it ‘til it spilled all over the sidewalk outside, though.

Michelle smiled at the new costumer but inwardly cringed. She needed to figure out how to get Peter Parker to explain things to her and fast. She didn’t want him to disappear out of her life again without giving her the answers she deserved.

Peter Parker came back plenty more times but he always ordered his coffee, preferably from one of Michelle’s coworkers, and he never stayed to chat. He always took his order and left immediately without saying a word. Maybe just a glance in her direction. A smile if he felt generous. Michelle would have chalked it up to him being nervous, but she had the feeling that he was trying to avoid getting close to her. Whatever it was that he knew and she didn’t – it scared him.

Which was even more frustrating, honestly.

So Michelle did her best to try and talk to him, but he just kept on answering with the driest answers before going away. Actually, he was practically running away. From her. Which made her grumpy boss scold her for disturbing his new loyal costumer. Michelle told him it didn’t matter and that Peter Parker will come back again the next week, just wait and see. And she was right. No matter how pushy Michelle let herself be, Peter Parker didn’t fail to come back, get a coffee, smile sadly at her when he thought she wasn’t paying attention to him for once and escape back outside, away from her intrigued and questioning gaze.

One time Michelle caught Peter throwing away the coffee cup into a trash bin quickly without even taking a sip from it, which led her to believe that he didn’t even like coffee. The idiot came over and over again to the shop for one reason, and she knew what it was, even if the thought made her feel ridiculous and self-absorbed. Peter Parker came to see her. Every single time was about her and not the order he put in. It was just something he probably couldn’t give up, no matter how much he tried to keep her away.

Until the day Michelle wouldn’t let him avoid her.

Her boss was on vacation, putting his trust in her. She promised to keep the place secure and safe in his absence, which made him grump unhappily, yet he still let her look after the shop. Well, Michelle and her coworker – Kathy. They almost never worked together because Kathy could work when Michelle was in school, but they knew each other and got along perfectly. And since Michelle and Kathy were in charge, Michelle could make it so that when Peter Parker showed up again, she was the only one he could give his plain order to.

She smiled sweetly, typed the order in and then watched as he ducked his head and kept himself busy with his phone the best he could to avoid her gaze. She rolled her eyes and started making the coffee. There were about three other people in the shop, not counting Mark – her coworker who was on his break now because Michelle knew when Peter would show up. Which meant that Michelle felt secure in her plan as she grabbed a mug instead of a paper cup and poured the drink into it.

“There you go.” She handed the coffee to Peter Parker and he reached out his hand to take it only to freeze in midair, right between the mug and his body. Peter Parker stared at the mug and then he hesitantly looked at her, his brows furrowed a little in confusion and his shoulders rigid. “Is anything wrong, Peter Parker?” She asked innocently.

He gulped and she could almost see the way he fought with himself internally about whether or not he should tell her that he wanted a cup to go and not something he had to consume in the shop. She bit the inside of her cheek, knowing what he would do. She didn’t know him too well, but if there was one thing she knew about Peter Parker, it was that he didn’t like confrontation, meaning he wouldn’t want to tell her she was wrong about this. And she was right. He just mumbled a quiet thank you and finally took the mug, carrying it over to a corner table.

Michelle grinned and then went out the back. “Stane?” She called and Mark lifted his gaze to look at her. “Break’s over. Take over the counter for me, would you? I need to talk to someone for a minute.” She stated and Mark nodded and pushed himself up from his seat in the back room. She smiled gratefully and then returned to the shop. Without a moment of hesitation, she weaved through the tables and then unceremoniously sat on the opposite side of Peter Parker’s table. He almost jumped in surprise at her arrival. “I need a favor, Peter Parker.”

He looked over his shoulder, as if he might find another person behind him with the exact same name, just waiting to be addressed. Then he awkwardly looked back at Michelle, his cheeks a beautiful shade of pink and his eyes sparkling in this way that revealed so much care for her, she didn’t know what to think about it and what she knew about the guy that kept on avoiding her like the freaking plague.

“It’s just Peter. It’s not, like…” He trailed off and then shoved the warm coffee away from him, his hands bracing against the table to help him get up. “Anyway, sorry. But I’m kinda busy and I don’t think I can help. Maybe someone else, though – “

“I’m not going to MIT.” She cut him off. Peter froze, eyed her for a few silent moments and then slowly sat back down, his apprehension screaming at her that he wanted to bolt and yet he didn’t want to leave her now because he could FEEL her distress. Or maybe it was his own distress he couldn’t shake. Michelle sent her arms forward and pulled his coffee towards her. He gave it a look but didn’t argue. It almost felt natural to her, in this way that made her so mad at him because he clearly KNEW why it felt this way. Why she felt like she could put his life in his hands and feel secure and safe and happy.

Peter blinked, waited and then his leg began to hop up and down on the dingy floor. “Why?” He asked. “Is something wrong? I mean, did they change their mind about your application? Because I’m pretty sure this shouldn’t happen and you looked so happy about going.” He babbled. He was babbling. Her anger dampened a little at the way he genuinely seemed concerned about her fate. “I mean, you’re smart. You look smart, that is.” He corrected immediately. “They SHOULD take you. They… they shouldn’t just change their mind about it. You should call them. And don’t do anything rush before trying that because from experience, that leads to a lot of shitty consequences.”

Calmly, Michelle took a sip from the coffee. She let the warm liquid drain down, down, down and towards her stomach before she put the mug back down and gave Peter this unbothered look she was so used to aiming at everyone else. He seemed almost offended by it. Which made her feel bad, but also satisfied a bitter part of her. He deserved to feel a little bad for keeping something big from her. He deserved this!

“They didn’t actually do anything wrong. I just told them I couldn’t come next year.” She said and Peter’s hurt expression morphed into confusion as he mulled the words over and over in his head. He didn’t seem to understand them, though, because eventually he just gave her this wounded look, expecting her to explain more. “There’s something I need to do before I leave and I won’t be able to do it from MIT. I just can’t move on with this still haunting me, so I’m staying until I solve this.”

He shifted uncomfortably in his seat. “And you need help with that?” He asked, sounding almost eager to just hear what it was, help her and get her back on track. She didn’t know how to feel about it. Was he trying to get rid of her? A part of her thought so, but another part, a deeper part, argued that Peter wouldn’t do that. No, he just really wanted her to go to MIT because he knew she wanted this and he knew she deserved it. He’d do anything to get her there. “From me?”

She nodded. “I’m looking for someone.” She said and Peter raised an eyebrow at her. “It’s someone I love. I’m not into this sappy kind of story, where the girl always describes loving someone like her heart yearns to be with someone else, but I almost feel like it. Don’t get me wrong, it’s disgusting, but my entire being just yearns to be with someone that’s not here.” She said and Peter looked away. Deep down in his brown eyes she noticed a spark of pain. And it wasn’t guilt – it was almost like jealousy. The guy had no idea she was talking about him. “I need to find him.”

Eyes locked on his mug, Michelle thought Peter might just demand it back coldly, just to get her a little further away from him, but he didn’t do that. He just stared at it blankly before his eyes peered back at her. “What’s his name?” He asked, fingers tapping restlessly on the table. She felt like he wanted to run away from her once again. He didn’t, though. Because she told him she wasn’t going to MIT until this was settled and he wanted her to go.

Michelle prepared herself to tell him it was him, but then she bit her tongue and shook her head. She looked down at the coffee mug. It was getting colder by the minute. “I don’t know.” She said eventually, voice as even as possible. Peter was staring at her, an unreadable expression on his face. “I know it sounds insane, but it’s like… I feel like…” She shut her mouth and then scowled at the stupid coffee. “It’s like someone who was a part of my life is just gone and I NEED to find him. I have to find him because even though my head doesn’t know him, my heart does.” She peeked up at Peter and found him looking away again. “Please help me find him.”

“Why don’t you ask your friend? The one that comes here all the time.” He asked. He was talking about Ned, and she knew Peter knew his name because sometimes she felt like Peter longed to be with Ned just as much as he wanted to be with her. He avoided the two of them. He once replied to Ned’s comment on a Star Wars movie before he clasped his mouth shut and practically ran out of the shop, his coffee left behind but the bill for it resting on the counter. He KNEW Ned, just like he knew Michelle.

“Ned’s busy.” She said and didn’t add anything else. If Peter wanted to know more about Ned, he could just confess to the truth. Since he hasn’t yet, she felt like she had the right to keep the information from him. Peter looked disappointed but he didn’t beg for more from her. “And Betty’s… not someone I’d like to ask for a favor.” She added before he could ask about her since she sometimes showed up with Ned.

The thing about Betty was that she tended to trash talk Spider-man on her internship as a news reporter and as sweet as the girl was, Michelle couldn’t stand her for it. She avoided her almost like Peter was avoiding Michelle and Ned. Peter gave her a look, like he could read her mind and he agreed with her completely. She wanted to yell at him that he shouldn’t be able to understand her that well when he supposedly didn’t even know her, but she kept her mouth shut. He was such a jerk. But her heart kept on pounding in her chest, like it wanted her to just drape herself all over him.

Get a grip, MJ!

Peter sighed and rubbed circles onto the sides of his head. “Okay. Okay, so you need help tracking this person and you won’t leave it no matter what.” He muttered and then shook his head. “This spell sucks.” She wasn’t sure that’s what he said because Michelle didn’t really understand it and it didn’t make much sense, but she figured she wasn’t supposed to hear it anyway. “Alright.” He locked eyes with Michelle. “I’ll help you.” And he got up and left the shop.

Michelle smirked and drank the rest of his cold coffee.

Peter never admitted the truth, but he didn’t back down, either. He helped her every time he got to the shop. Instead of running away from Peter Pan Donut & Pastry, he stayed until closing time and went over everything she knew with her, adding a few ideas here and there halfheartedly. She could tell he was both reserved about the subject of their conversations, but he also had this air of excitement to him every time they talked about him without really acknowledging it was him. Like he wanted her to finally figure it out, but he couldn’t tell her the truth himself.

She didn’t know the full story, obviously. She didn’t know why Peter let her go to this length instead of just telling her to her face that he was the boy she was looking for. They both knew it, after all. It’s just that Peter didn’t know that small detail. He thought Michelle was really clueless about the whole thing. She wanted to confront him more than once and demand the truth from him, but then she thought that maybe Peter just couldn’t tell her. Something had to keep him from spilling the beans directly to her – she just didn’t know what it was.

After a while she managed to make him speak about himself a little bit. He told her that he used to date someone when he still went to school. She didn’t ask who it was – she had the feeling he wouldn’t be honest about it since it was probably her. Which also made her feel like a jerk because she just assumed she was the main character in this even though she really shouldn’t. Peter said that his girlfriend and he had to break up because life just couldn’t go on while they were together. Now he just missed her terribly, which meant he didn’t even try and date anyone else. Just like she didn’t look into trying to find someone else.

Their hearts were already bound to someone. And even if Peter didn’t say it was her, Michelle knew that whatever they had before she forgot everything – it was good and real and she was determined to get it back. Because even if she was only seventeen-going-on-eighteen, she could tell that this thing beating in her chest and pumping her heart around Peter Parker wasn’t a crush or a silly want. It was genuine love. And despite the fact that he didn’t tell her he loved her, Peter did mention how much he loved his ex-girlfriend, which was her, so maybe he actually did tell her he loves her.

“How was graduation?” Peter asked and plopped into the barstool next to the counter. To his right Ned and Betty sat together, holding hands with those sickening grins on their faces. Michelle glanced at him from her place near the register. Kathy was the one behind it this time because Michelle wasn’t on the clock. Nope, today she graduated and she was going to hang out with her friends. Including Peter Parker who arrived to the shop with his backpack and his sad smile. His eyes darted towards her for a moment but he quickly looked away, cheeks gaining a bit of color.

Ned bounced in place and turned to face him. “Oh, it was great! Mr. Harrington stumbled down the steps leading to the platform so we had a good laugh. It was a nice way of saying goodbye because he’s always so clumsy, you know?” He beamed and Michelle noticed Peter had this fond look on his face. Not because of Ned – although every time he saw Ned he had some sort of smile on his face, like he couldn’t help but be happy around him – but because of the mention of Mr. Harrington. Michelle noted that for later. He probably went to school with all of them. He knew Mr. Harrington. “I wish you would’ve been there. Didn’t MJ invite you?”

Shoulders tensing a little, Peter looked away from Ned and his eyes focused on his hand as they drummed a dysfunctional beat on the counter. “Oh, yeah. I, uh, couldn’t. Sorry. Had something to do, somewhere to be…” He pursed his lips and then offered Betty and Ned an awkward, nervous smile. “Can’t let Jameson fire me, after all.”

Michelle grabbed their order and joined Ned, Betty and Peter, taking the stool next to Peter. He shifted a little in his place but then offered her a smile. She returned him a small one and then handed Ned and Betty their orders before giving Peter a cup. He lifted an eyebrow at her. She confronted him about his dislike towards coffee three weeks into their agreement on working together to solve her life mystery and he gave up and stopped ordering drinks, instead going for a sandwich she could tell he liked much better.

“This,” She shoved the cup into his hands and smiled slyly. “Is heaven in a cup. Even you’d like it, loser.” She said and his eyes sparkled for a moment. She ignored it and the fluttering in her chest. “Try it. I don’t take no for an answer.”

Scrunching up his nose, Peter brought the cup to his lips and took a careful sip. He closed his eyes and then took another sip. And another. He lowered the cup and smiled. “You could’ve just said it was chocolate milk.” He said with a shake of his head and then took another long sip. Michelle hid her content smile behind her own cup of coffee. Peter lowered the cup and hugged it with both hands. “So… how does it feel?” He asked. “To be free?”

She rolled her eyes. “Great. And soon I’ll be homeless, too. Then my freedom will truly skyrocket.” She grumbled and busied herself with drinking her coffee.

Betty frowned. “Still haven’t found a place in the city?” She asked, sympathy leaking through her words.

Ned shook his head. “Yikes.”

She just kept on drinking. See, three weeks before graduation, Michelle’s parents told her that she had to go to MIT, and if she didn’t go there, then she needed to find a place to stay in after school was over because they wanted her out of the house. Some loving parents, huh? Which left her running all over the city to try and find someplace she could live in for her time around, trying to solve the mystery with Peter. So far, there was nothing.

They were all silent for a long moment, their smiles replaced with the understanding that Michelle was really desperate now and that this happy day also meant she was out of time. And then Peter turned to face her, his entire body switching around towards her. “There’s my place.” He noted. There was a deep blush on his cheeks and he looked like he was fighting his instinct to fidget the best he could. Behind his back Michelle could see Ned’s jaw dropping and Betty hiding a smirk behind her palm.

“Your place?” Michelle repeated, voice a little hollow from how stunned she was. She never expected Peter to bring up this option. She knew he lived alone and that his parents were gone. She knew he was all on his own and that he had a small apartment in the city, but she’s never been to it. He really tried to keep his life as out of her touch as possible. And yet… here he was, offering her a place to stay. His place. Her heart warmed at the realization that he loved her enough to see that she needed help even though he thought he should stay away. He was acting against his better judgement.

Peter’s blush grew hotter. “I-I mean, it’s just a room. Basically so small you might feel claustrophobic if you’re just staying there for longer than five minutes, but it’s a roof over your head, so there’s that.” He ranted. Michelle bit her lip to keep herself from smiling. Ned and Betty were snickering quietly. “I’m not trying to suggest anything. I’m just… you need a place to stay and I wasn’t going to say anything, but you look really desperate and I can’t let you live on the streets and I guess there’s a place for another bed in there. It’s just going to be a little hard to breathe, but that’s okay. I’m going out half the time, anyway. So…” He took in a deep breath and closed his eyes tightly. “You really don’t have to say yes.”

She fought her smile as she got up and started stepping away from the stools and towards the door of the shop. “Come on, loser. We’re going to get another copy of the key.” She said over her shoulder. “And to get my stuff and my bed while we’re at it.”

He was by her side in less than a second, apologizing profoundly to Ned and Betty who just shook their heads and laughed as they urged Peter and Michelle to go already. The girl smiled the rest of the day. When they got the key duplicated. When they collected her few stuff from her room and as they carried her bed all the way to Peter’s apartment, though it felt mostly like Peter was carrying all the weight on his own.

It was already after midnight by the time they both finished shoving the bed into Peter’s apartment. Peter had to move the desk in the room around and the small nightstand next to his bed to make room for Michelle’s bed. They placed the beds in the only room in the apartment apart from the tiny kitchen and the bathroom. The beds ended up being pressed against opposite walls with the nightstand right between them. There was just enough space between the beds for it to get there, so now they could share it.

While Michelle looked through the suitcase she brought with her, trying to find her toothbrush, Peter went over to the small closet and started rearranging it so that it would be half empty and ready for Michelle to put her stuff in. She eyed him from her bed, her legs bent under her, and smiled. She never imagined that once school ended she’d start living with a boy in the same apartment for God knows how long. She never imagined being squashed into such a small space with someone else just because she had some unfinished business here.

But as she looked over at Peter, kindly moving his things to let her have her own space and as much privacy as possible, Michelle couldn’t help but to smile. She could have ended up on the street. She could have ended up in MIT, with Ned and the other students there, living in a dorm room that would probably be bigger than this apartment. Maybe she would have had a loud roommate or a rude one. Maybe a shy one. But she ended up here, with Peter. This boy seemed to want to try and keep the space between them, but apparently he wasn’t willing to do that when Michelle needed help.

“Thanks.” She said eventually. Peter shoved another stack of clothes to a higher shelf and Michelle thought it was ridiculous seeing as she was a little taller than he was. She decided not to comment on that.

Peter glanced at her, flushed and then turned back around to focus on the task at hand. “No problem.” He said awkwardly. “I guess I’m just surprised you actually said yes to this.” He finished shoving the clothes and then nodded to himself and turned back around to face her. He looked like he’d rather look anywhere but at her. She didn’t mind. “I mean, you don’t know me THAT well. I could be a serial killer. Or I might, like, sexually harass you in the middle of the night, when you least expect it.”

She didn’t even bat an eye. “No, you won’t.” She stated firmly and Peter finally looked at her, doubt swirling in her eyes. “I’m not reckless and I don’t have a death wish. I just trust myself when it comes to reading people and… you wouldn’t hurt me.” She offered him an honest smile. “You’re a good friend, Peter Parker.” She said and gestured around them. “I mean, you’re still up and about even though you must be exhausted.”

“Oh, I’m fine.” He shook his arms a little, as if trying to get the blood to flow down to his palms faster. “I usually stay up a lot longer than this.” When she gave him a questioning, slightly worried look, Peter quickly continued. “Don’t worry – you shouldn’t worry about me keeping you up. I just like to get out and walk around.” He shrugged. “I like what the city has to offer at night, when it’s dark.”

“Sounds creepy to me.”

“No, it really isn’t.” He blushed and then seemed to realize she was joking. His eyes twinkled and he sat on his own bed, one leg bent under him and the other brushing the floor lightly as if swung back and forth. “You should see it sometimes. I mean,” He paled a little. “Don’t go out alone at night – that would be really bad. Don’t do that, please – but go out with someone and see everything. It’s breathtaking.”

Looking down at the toothbrush she had ready for the moment she decided she should get up, wear her pajama and get ready to go to sleep, Michelle pressed her lips together and then set her toothbrush on the nightstand determinedly. “Well, the night’s still young.” She said and got up. Peter stared at her. “Show the way, roomie.”

He gave her an incredulous look and then dropped flatly onto his mattress. “Not a chance. Not tonight. Maybe some other time.” He said and it sounded like a promise, so Michelle relented.

A split moment after she woke up, Michelle’s mind caught up with her and she tensed, her eyes still closed. She was sleeping in her bed, like she did every night. She heard the buzz of the city outside as people hurried off to their jobs, jittery and tired and in a rush after ignoring their alarm clocks five times already. She had a terrible taste in her mouth after sleeping for God knows how long.

The smell was different, though. She thought she could smell men-deodorant and chocolate. Plus, there was something in the air that was unique and Michelle couldn’t pinpoint exactly what it reminded her of. She felt the sun on her face even though in her room it usually didn’t reach her because the window was facing the opposite direction so the sunshine never reached her at that hour.

Plus, she just remembered going to sleep in a different apartment. A boy’s apartment. Peter Parker’s apartment. Well, it was hers now, too, she guessed. Since they were roommates, sharing the same space for who knows how long. She was self-conscious as she opened her eyes and glanced at the other bed in the room. Empty. She furrowed her brows and sat up carefully, her blanket held tightly against her body as if it could protect her from the unknown.

The first thing she looked at was the door to the bathroom, but it was open and there was no Peter Parker inside, so he probably wasn’t there, unless he could suddenly turn invisible. Then she looked towards the small kitchen and her breath caught in her throat. There was Peter, leaning against the marble with a steaming mug in one hand and his phone in the other. He wasn’t looking at her, too engrossed in whatever he was reading on his phone. Though maybe he wasn’t actually reading anything ‘cause his eyes moved erratically.

Michelle took in his messy curls of hair – probably still untamed after he went to sleep last night. His cheeks were a little rosy, like he slept on them for such a long time, they couldn’t get rid of the color if they tried. He wore an MIT sweater that didn’t make sense to her, because how would he have that if he didn’t go there? And he had Hello Kitty pajama pants, which was the strangest thing to see, combined with the sweater.

She hugged her blanket impossibly closer and pulled it over her nose until her burning cheeks were hidden from view. And it was just in time because just then Peter looked up, noticed her and smiled this awkward, nervous smile of his. He waved at her with the hand holding the mug and then winced when it splashed the drink he had in there all over the floor.

“Oops.” Peter stared at the brown liquid and Michelle watched as he slowly put the mug and phone down, took a small towel and wiped the stain off as quickly as possible. Michelle was too groggy with sleep to think anything coherent, unless just sending him heart-eyes and an awestruck expression was coherent. Peter pulled a face when he finished and threw the towel into the sink, not bothering to clean it right away. Instead he looked at Michelle again, his smile even more awkward than it was before. “Good morning.”

Her hold on the blanket made her knuckles turn white. “Yeah.” She cleared her throat when the word came out throaty and choked. Peter didn’t seem bothered by it. “How long have you been awake?”

His eyes glanced at his phone, probably to look at the time. “About two hours?” He replied. “I needed to head to the Daily Bugle and give Jameson new pictures first thing in the morning ‘cause he was threatening to fire me,” He rolled his eyes. “Which is ridiculous but oh well. And then I got back and you were still asleep, but,” He held up a take-out cup she hadn’t noticed before. “I got you coffee, in case you wanted any. Since I don’t have any in here so I can’t make coffee. I should probably buy some now.” He had a faraway look for a moment and then he shook his head and smiled at her softly. “You don’t have to drink that.”

Without saying a word, Michelle held out her hand and Peter blinked at her in surprise before crossing the small distance between them, giving her the cup of coffee. It was lukewarm at best but Michelle didn’t mind. It was good enough for her. She took a tentative sip from the cup. A small part of her was surprised by how Peter just seemed to know what she liked exactly, but another part of her told her it made sense because he knew her, even if she didn’t remember anything.

“It’s good.” She noted and Peter beamed at her before picking up his mug. When she sniffed the air she realized it was probably home-made chocolate milk. Looking around, it made sense. Peter didn’t look like he had a lot of money, so if he wanted to have something tasty to drink, he would rather make it on his own rather than pay for it every day. And he only came to Peter Pan because he wanted to see her (and Ned). He didn’t pay for the actual food – he paid so it wouldn’t look weird when he showed up at her workplace.

Which, she realized, meant that now that they shared an apartment, Peter wouldn’t need to go to Peter Pan every week. Maybe he would stop. Maybe he would continue because it wasn’t the same as living with her. Then again, he did have the habit of running away from her to keep some distance he didn’t want between them. Peter Parker was a confusing person, okay? And she was too tired to figure him out right now.

So instead, she focused on something she could concentrate on – her mystery. “I have a new lead.” She said. Peter’s smile dimmed a little but he just took his mug over to his bed and sat on it, facing Michelle and nodded for her to continue. She appreciated the fact that despite being reluctant about the entire thing, Peter didn’t hold her back. He even helped her more than once, actually assisting her in moving forward with her strange investigation.

“What?”

“Nothing.” She was staring at him. Oops. She looked down at her coffee, her lips tugged downwards in displeasure with herself. “Anyway, I’ve been trying to remember when I forgot him in the first place because it might help me get more information. I mean, something must have happened, right?” She gave him a long look and he hummed and nodded. Not a no, then. “And I think I finally figured it out.”

He paled a little. “F-figured what out?”

The urge to snap at him for being so scared of her learning the truth flooded her for an instant, but then it disappeared almost immediately and she calmed down. “There was a fight between Spider-man and a couple of villains a while back. It’s all… it’s a blur but before that I remember everything felt normal. Or… there must have been something that wasn’t normal, but it wasn’t like things are now. I didn’t feel like something was missing. And then the fight ended and Spider-man won and I… I just know I was there and I don’t know what happened in that fight, but it made me forget.”

Peter was quiet for a few moments and his eyes trailed around the room quickly as thoughts seemed to race in his head. Michelle watched him intently and noticed an almost haunted look there, like he was remembering the fight she was talking about. Like it hurt him to think about it for too long. “Okay.” He said eventually, voice a little raw. “So what now? You gonna try and question Spider-man?” He asked.

No, the idea was absurd. She didn’t know where to find Spidey and she didn’t know how to make him stop to chat with her. She had the feeling they used to work together before she forgot Peter, but he hasn’t spoken to her since that fight and she had the feeling it was on purpose. So talking to him wasn’t an option. But she did have another option to look into.

“May Parker.” She said and Peter physically flinched at the mention of the name. She tried to appear unfazed by this because she didn’t know what exactly caused this kind of reaction from him. She knew they had the same last name, but according to every record about the woman, she didn’t know anyone going by Peter Parker. Then again, that didn’t mean anything with the way everyone seemed to not remember the guy. “She was the only casualty in this whole debacle and I assume there’s a reason for that.”

A small frown appeared on Peter’s face and he put his mug to his lips, although he didn’t even take a sip before he pulled it away again, looking agitated and irritated. “So what are you planning to do? A seance?” He asked flatly. It was the first time Peter seemed to not like the direction she was taking in this investigation. Which both threw her off and intrigued her greatly. May Parker meant something to him. She was probably a family member of his. A mother, maybe?

Michelle shook her head. “I mean, I could probably ask Ned to help with that since he does learn the mystic arts with Doctor Strange and this seems like something he would ask about immediately,” She said and Peter’s irritation lightened a little at that. Mentioning Ned had this kind of effect on him. “No, I think just reading about her might be enough for now.”

“Right.” Peter said in a small voice and then gave Michelle an amused look when she got up, her blanket still thrown around her like some kind of gown. Or maybe more like a cape. “Are you going to brush your teeth with that? Seems kinda uncomfortable and impractical.”

She gave him a flat look. “I don’t have my bra.” She noted and Peter went so red in the face, it made her laugh as she made her way to the closet, picked up clothes randomly and went to the bathroom. “And get ready, too. We’re going to the cemetery.”

He didn’t reply but by the time she went out again, holding her folded blanket and wearing her clothes, her mouth tasting like her toothpaste, Peter was ready to go, a worried and nervous look on his face.

The grave was plain and blended in with the others around it. Michelle didn’t know what she expected from it, but it wasn’t this bland, gray stone. Sure, there were flowers – a full bouquet – right next to the grave and a single purple Hyacinth next to it. Michelle bent down to touch the petals of the purple flowers and then her hand flew up to her neck, where he broken necklace pressed against her sternum. It felt a little like they were connected, somehow.

Peter stood behind her, his eyes darting from the grave to Michelle to the grave to a tree to the grave to the flowers to the grave to the sky to the grave to the ground to the grave and so on and on and on. It was like he couldn’t keep his focus on the gray stone for too long, no matter how hard he tried. Michelle could almost feel the need to go flowing out of him and encasing her, but she wasn’t about to give in to that urge. She needed to learn and she felt like she SHOULD respect this woman, even though she didn’t remember her. She had the feeling she used to know her before, though.

On the stone it didn’t mention a son or Peter at all. It only mentioned May’s husband – Ben Parker. Ben… who was also dead. She glanced at Peter and felt this pit in her stomach. Whoever this guy really was, he had a lot of dead people around. Because if these were his parents, then it sucked. And if they weren’t, then they were still someone to him and they were still dead. Who knows – maybe there were more dead people in his past she couldn’t remember.

She didn’t know what she expected to learn from a grave and the person it belonged to – the one that was six feet under – but she just couldn’t walk away. It was like this force she couldn’t out into words was keeping her in place, making her look at the grave and the flowers and feel guilt and sorrow and the need to talk to May Parker like she wasn’t gone and like she wasn’t a complete stranger.

A man came up to the grave and put a similar bouquet next to the one already present there. Peter tensed and his body went rigid. Michelle lifted an eyebrow silently – another clue, even if Peter didn’t mean to give it away.

The man looked at Peter for a moment and then he looked at Michelle and there was a spark of recognition. Michelle remembered him. He worked with Spider-man and was sent by the vigilante to keep her, Ned and their classmates safe during the whole thing with Mysterio in London. The sweaty guy. He nodded at her and Michelle nodded, too. In complete sync, they both glanced at Peter and then back at each other.

She didn’t need to ask him that, she could just tell easily on her own – he knew Peter, too. And it went deeper than just running into him once or twice in the cemetery for some reason. They didn’t say anything, though, instead just looking together at the grave until Michelle decided she needed answers.

“Hey,” She nudged Peter’s side and the boy nearly jumped out of his skin before he relaxed. “I’m going to the restroom for a moment, Wait here, okay?” She asked and pointed towards the small building not too far from them. Peter glanced at it, at the grave and then back at Michelle. He nodded and offered her a weak smile. “Be right back.”

She walked away and was very aware of the man trailing her while trying to appear like he was trying to look as inconspicuous as ever. She hoped Peter was dense enough not to understand what was going on. Instead of entering the restroom, she slipped behind it and hid behind the building, keeping herself out of Peter’s sight. The man joined her a moment later from the other direction, his small eyes cutting into her like he was trying to get her to spill everything she knew right there.

He observed her for a moment. “You’re a friend of Spider-man, right?” He asked eventually.

Michelle kept her expression neutral. “I think I used to be before…” She pointed at the side of her head and the man nodded. “Who are you? How do you know Peter?”

“Happy Hogan.” He introduced himself. There was something about him that made him look like the exact opposite of happy. She crushed the need to snort at his name and instead focused on his next words. “I saw him visiting May’s grave a few times. He said he knew her through Spider-man, like me.” He scrunched up his nose. “But something tells me that’s not quite it.”

Peter knew Spider-man? She knew that but he always made it sound like he barely contacted him. They knew each other a little since the last big fight and that’s it. She wasn’t surprised to find out that wasn’t really the whole truth. “His name is Peter Parker.” She said evenly and Happy’s eyes widened a little, probably at Peter’s last name. “He takes pictures of Spidey for the Daily Bugle.” She added flatly. Happy didn’t look content by this knowledge, either. “But that wouldn’t really explain how he knew May. I think they were – “

“Related?” Happy shook his head. “That’s impossible. I would have met him…” He trailed off and tilted his head a little, like he was thinking about something. “The first time I met him I watched him leave and felt like… like I knew him already. Maybe not in my head but…” He put a hand against his chest stiffly and Michelle realized he didn’t like talking about it. Probably because it sounded insane. “I guess it was nothing, though.”

“I’ve been feeling like something was missing from my life for months.” Michelle supplied and Happy looked at her like he could fully connect to that. “And then Peter showed up and… and I realized it was him.” She glanced over her shoulder, just to make sure Peter wasn’t coming towards them. “I never confronted him about it because he might just escape and disappear forever if I cornered him like that, but I know it’s him. I know there’s something about him that’s familiar. And I know he remembers everything because sometimes he knows things about me that I know I never told him before. Not that I can remember, at least.”

Happy didn’t look happy at all, now. He had this grumpy expression that let Michelle know he was upset. “So the two of us just forgot the kid?” He asked.

“No.” Michelle pressed her lips together and gave Happy her most serious look. “Everyone else did, too.”

“His name was Happy.” Michelle said, smirking at her reflection in the bathroom mirror while Peter fidgeted on his bed, his eyes cast downwards.

He peeked up at her for a moment. “You really shouldn’t speak to strangers.” He said weakly, almost pleadingly. Michelle’s heart clenched in her chest at the wide, desperate eyes he was aiming at her. He looked like a kicked puppy like that and she had to look away in order to not fall into this trap.

Happy gave her his number because they couldn’t chat there forever – Peter was going to grow suspicious. Since Michelle didn’t want Peter to accidently see Happy’s name in her contacts, she tried to save him as ‘Sweaty Man’ but her phone alerted her that there was already someone who was saved with the same number and the same nickname on her phone. She pursed her lips. Okay, this was getting freakier and freakier. She had Happy’s number, already.

Michelle hummed to herself. She didn’t try and get Peter’s number, yet. She wondered if she had him saved already, as well. “He’s not a stranger. I saved his ass this one time in London.” She said proudly. Peter’s lips reluctantly stretched into a smile and he looked at her with this glint in his eyes, like he’s heard this before but he didn’t mind listening to her stories over and over again. She gulped and looked back at her own reflection instead of Peter’s image on the mirror. “Yeah, I crushed a drone with a mace. It was a badass moment.”

He chuckled. “Somehow, I’m not surprised.”

Because he already knew about it, Michelle knew. That’s how. She didn’t say anything, though, instead opting to just get out of the bathroom and drop onto her squeaky bed. When she rested on her side, facing Peter, he copied her position like he was used to lying beside her and matching her thoughtlessly. She blinked the feeling of warmth and safety away.

“Found anything about May Parker that could help us?” She asked eventually.

Peter’s light smile slipped away and he brought his phone up to his face before he shook his head. “There’s nothing written about her that connects her to someone our age.” He said, because Michelle already told him she knew the person she was looking for was about their age. She pursed her lips and turned away from Peter to look at the ceiling above them. It was a little cracked. “I’m sorry.”

The way he said it seemed to cut Michelle’s chest wide open. It was like he was seriously feeling bad about hitting a dead end. But there was something more to it. Like he was apologizing for more than just this investigation – like he was apologizing for everything else Michelle knew nothing about, yet. Like he was apologizing for the fact that she forgot. For his reluctance to reveal the truth to her on his own. For the secrets and the lies. For keeping her in the dark even though she wasn’t as blindsided as he assumed.

She was almost unaware of her own body getting up and moving over to Peter’s bed. The boy didn’t say anything, but he did give her this stunned look, like he wasn’t sure what was happening or why, but he wasn’t going to fight it, either. She didn’t do anything bold or crazy. She just draped her body on the unfamiliar mattress next to Peter, a small space between them. She was pretty sure he was the one who kept it there.

“There has to be something we’re missing.” She said quietly. Peter’s breath was tickling her nose and she fought hard to keep her thoughts as clear as possible. He was staring at her like he wanted to close the distance between them in a flash and never let go. But there was also the spark that always accompanied him – this desperate need for space. This… almost fear. “Something that’s right before our eyes that we can’t see.”

Peter gulped and then offered her a fragile smile. “We’ll find it.”

Four months after Michelle moved in with Peter, Ned came to her with sparkling eyes all the way from MIT, his whole body buzzing with excitement. He talked fast about magic and Doctor Strange and the whole world and how crazy it was and she had to make him slow down for her to be able to catch up with whatever it was that was so important, he had to leave his studies to see her.

Apparently, he learned this new spell that let him see where magic’s presence was. And when he cast it successfully… well… there was magic surrounding every single person he saw. And it all led to Peter Parker. He found that last bit out when he followed the trail and saw Peter on his way to the Daily Bugle, oblivious to Ned’s presence close by.

“MJ, this is crazy!” Ned exclaimed. The apartment was empty apart from them since, once again, Peter was out to get some more money from Jameson. Ned threw his hands in the air dramatically. “It’s like someone cast a spell on the world and it has something to do with Peter!” He lowered his hands and suddenly looked a little sheepish. “A-actually… I might know what spell it is. But it’s just a guess based on a gut feeling, y’know?”

Michelle leaned back on the wall behind her bed and huffed. “Let me guess – some kind of memory spell?” She asked dryly and Ned’s eyes bugged out. Score. “Because something feels empty in your life and Peter Parker just… fills this spot? Yeah, I know. I’ve been feeling the same way. Well, me and Happy, but he doesn’t like to talk about it.”

“Who’s Happy?”

“The point is,” Michelle pressed forward and crossed her arms over her chest. “Peter’s been ‘helping’ me find someone for months now. I know it’s him – I’ve known since the first time I met him – but he won’t tell me the truth so we’re just walking in a circle and I don’t know WHY he won’t tell me.” She scoffed and Ned furrowed her brows. “It’s so FRUSTRATING! Every time I think I find something, it leads to another dead end. It’s like Peter Parker doesn’t exist, but he’s standing right next to me when I find the evidence to it. And I know it’s him because I get this feeling like… like I used to know him.”

Ned bowed his head a little. “Me, too.” He confessed and then he started pacing in front of her. “I know someone powerful could cast this spell in this scale, but I just can’t imagine Doctor Strange erasing someone from existence like that. I mean, Peter’s our age and Doctor Strange may be rude sometimes, but he’s a good person. I mean, he did help save the universe with the Avengers, right?”

There was a beat of silence and then Michelle straightened up, her eyes wide. “Ned, does Strange know who Spider-man is?” She asked and when the boy gave her a confused look before shaking his head, she set her jaw. “Okay, hear me out on this – remember that broadcast of Quinten Beck after he died? The one where he claimed to know who Spider-man is?” She asked and Ned nodded. “What if it didn’t cut off before the name was revealed like we remember? What if the world found out who Spider-man was and everything went to hell because of it?

“What if people started hating Spider-man because they believed Beck and then they also hated his friends and family so he felt pressured into trying to fix it somehow. And how can you fix something this big?” She gave Ned a look and his clueless expression slowly morphed into alarmed understanding. Michelle nodded. “What if Spider-man went to Doctor Strange and asked him to make everyone forget who he was under the mask so that things would go back to normal? Only the spell didn’t go as planned and everyone forgot – “

“Peter Parker.” Ned said in awe and then shook his head. “But what about the fight at the Statue of Liberty? How does that connect to everything else?” He asked and Michelle realized he’s been trying to figure things out for a while now, too. They could have worked together, yet instead they decided to keep things to themselves. Maybe they would have found out the truth earlier if they weren’t being so stupid and stubborn.

The door of the apartment opened and Peter entered the room, his gaze moving from Ned to Michelle with this resigned aura to it. Michelle didn’t need to ask to know that he’s been listening to their chat from across the door. She was pretty sure Spider-man had enhanced senses, right? He could probably hear them very well, not missing a single word.

Ned was bouncing excitedly again as he observed Peter. “Holy shit. Oh, wow, this is crazy. I mean, if we’re right. Are we right? I mean…” He waved at Peter. “Hey, Peter.”

“You got a few details wrong, but basically…” He shrugged and stepped forward, dropping heavily onto his bed. Michelle eyed him warily. He wasn’t running away – he could have run away without her even knowing, yet he came in to face the music. She was so ready for this, her palms were sweating. Okay, that was just gross. Peter locked eyes with her and then looked away sheepishly. “I’m sorry.”

Sitting next to her, Ned didn’t take his eyes off Peter. Michelle felt like she couldn’t look away from the boy if she wanted. Was she upset? Yes. Was she mad because he kept everything to himself for so long? Hell, yeah. But she still loved him – this unconditional love that seemed to consume her, no matter what. So she gave him a blank look to try and hide how much she cared. He needed to explain everything to them and she wasn’t going to let him off the hook this time.

“Beck revealed who I was. Then, because he claimed I murdered him and sent all of those drones back then, I was being investigated. Me and you and my aunt.” He sent Michelle a look. “Aunt May.” She bit her bottom lip but didn’t say a word. “We managed to prove I was innocent but a lot of people still thought I was guilty so going out as either Spider-man or Peter Parker meant attracting a lot of hate. And since you were my friends, you were on its end, too.”

Ned’s eyes sparkled. “We were friends?”

A genuine, heart wrenching smile appeared on Peter’s face. “You and I were best friends since the day you came to second grade with a few Lego pieces. Flash made fun of you and then after he left we played with it together.” He said fondly and Ned screw up his face for a moment before his face lit up again.

“I remember that! I mean, I didn’t remember it was you who played with me, but I remember playing that day with someone.” He said excitedly and Peter returned his bright grin with his own one, almost lighting up the room. “Oh, man. I can’t believe I don’t remember you. I mean, since second grade? That’s messed up, dude.”

Peter nodded solemnly and then noticed Michelle’s intense gaze on him. “What about us?” She asked, her hand absently coming up to the necklace around her neck. Peter’s eyes followed the movement as if it meant something and then locked with hers again.

He shifted a little on the bed and then started fidgeting with his fingers. “We were all in Academic Decathlon together. I started having a crush on you after you became the captain because Liz… left.” He scrunched up his nose and muttered a quiet “my fault” under his breath. Michelle chose not to acknowledge it. “And then there was the blip and it’s been five years and Mr. Stark was dead,” Michelle winced. Yes, if Peter was Spider-man then there were probably plenty of dead people in his past. “Things just sort of went haywire. And then we had this trip to Europe, which I thought was going to be a great way of finally taking a break because suddenly being Spider-man was the most stressing thing in the world…”

“That would explain why everywhere we went on this trip, we got attacked.” Michelle noted and Ned nodded in agreement next to her. Peter winced. “So… what? You saw Mysterio, decided you should step up and do something despite the fact you were on vacation and realized Beck was playing the world?”

Peter opened and closed his mouth a few times before he finally said something. “SHIELD actually tried to get me to help Beck because they believed him but at first I refused. So they hijacked our trip and made us go wherever they needed me to be.” He sounded a little bitter about it, which made sense. Suddenly the opera made sense. “I actually…” He shifted again. “Beck tricked me.” He said in annoyance. “Mr. Stark left me these high tech glasses after he died and Beck wanted them, so he used the fact that I felt really shitty since the blip and convinced me to give him the glasses. And I did. Which is how he managed to attacked London like that.”

Ned nodded enthusiastically. “Awesome.” When Michelle and Peter looked at him with those funny expressions on their faces, he sheepishly leaned back, his shoulders coming up defensively. “I mean not cool. Really uncool of him.”

That made Peter chuckle and he shook his head fondly before looking at Michelle. “I told SHIELD to leave me alone after that and went back to the trip.” He had a sad smile on his face now and he looked away from Ned and Michelle as if he was suddenly shy. “Because of all the attacks following us our trip was cut short so it was our last night before flying back home from Prague and I was going to use this trip to ask you out but with everything that happened, I didn’t really get the chance to… but I guess you wanted to get out of the hotel we stayed in because when I asked if you’d like to take a walk, you said yes.”

Michelle remembered that. Well, she remembered just walking around on her own. It was kind of hazy… she looked at Peter and saw the way he avoided her gaze, like he was still worried about her reaction to all of this. She let him sweat a little more. He deserved it, and they both knew it. If Ned wanted to just go right ahead and forgive Peter, he could do it. But Michelle needed the full story before she let her true feelings peek through the cracks.

“We didn’t get far, though, since you decided to tell me you were almost certain I was Spider-man and then we accidentally figured out Beck was lying to everyone… and things just escalated very quickly. So you went back to the hotel and I went after Beck but he made a train run me over so I ended up in Switzerland,” He said and Ned opened his mouth as if to ask him how the heck that happened. Michelle covered it with her hand, though. “And then Happy picked me up and we made our way to London and… the fight happened, blah, blah, blah…” He bit the inside of his cheek thoughtfully. “Beck died and then we kissed and then we flew back and for a week everything was normal…”

They kissed? Michelle tried to remember. She tried to pull the image to her mind and see and feel and hear. But it was blocked, as usual. She couldn’t remember it, which sucked. It sucked a whole lot. She touched her necklace again and Peter’s eyes snapped towards it once more.

“I gave this to you. I was whole, once, but then… it broke. I gave it to Happy and with everything that was going on, I guess he couldn’t really keep it safe.” Peter smiled. “You said you liked it better broken, though.”

She looked at the broken glass flower. “I do.” She leaned forward. “So why did we forget you? What happened? Was it really Strange? Because I feel like punching someone and if it was him, I’m gonna go there right now and punch him in the face.”

Peter laughed. “No, no. It was my fault. Stephen just tried to help me. I’m the one who messed up.” He smiled sadly and shook his head. “We went back to school, we put up with all the shit people gave us, we even managed to still learn something in this short time.” He sighed. “But then we tried applying to universities and colleges and everyone rejected the three of us because of me. Because the public opinion of me was really bad. So I went to Stephen to get him to make everyone forget I was Spider-man so you’d be able to live your life without people judging you for being my friends.

“But I messed up the spell and it went so wrong. Instead of forgetting I was Spider-man, people from other universes showed up – and all of them knew I was Spider-man. So we had to get them back and… and…” He closed his eyes. “Aunt May and I stayed at Happy’s place,” He ignored Ned’s confused question as to who that was. “Because we had to keep those people with us there and we didn’t need our neighbors to know about it. But, well… we tried to help them. We almost made it. And then Green Goblin attacked and things went really bad. We destroyed Happy’s apartment and everyone escaped and May…” He hunched his shoulders. “He killed her. The Green Goblin – Norman Osborn – killed her.

“You found me later that night. You and two other versions of me from different universes.” He moved on. “They… they ended up here because of me, too. So we teamed up to help those other people again.” He shifted uncomfortably and Michelle noticed Ned was so invested in the story, he was leaning forward, almost falling off the bed. “I nearly killed Osborn. I… I wanted to. I could.” He admitted and Michelle pursed her lips. Spider-man never killed. He was the least violent superhero they knew. Then again, this person killed his aunt. “One of the other Spider-men jumped in the way, though, and took the hit himself. He survived and we cured Osborn.” He wiped at his eyes furiously. “And then we sent them all back to their universes and I thought it was all over.

“But it wasn’t. Stephen said the multiverse was ripping itself apart because of that first spell and that the only way to stop it before it was too late… was to make everyone forget Peter Parker. Everyone.” He looked at Michelle and then at Ned. They were both silently listening to him, their hearts racing. Well, Michelle’s heart was racing. She assumed Ned’s was, too. “So I came over to explain what was going to happen. I told you you’d forget me and at first you didn’t agree to it.” He chuckled, but it was watery and almost resembled a sob. “MJ, you were so determined there’d be a way to solve it other than that one. It was like you never believed you should expect the worst.”

She lowered her eyebrows and crossed the distance from her bed to his. And then she sat next to him and pulled him into a hug. He was frozen in place for one moment and then seemed to melt against her, his face burrowing into the crook of her neck. Soon enough Ned joined them from Peter’s other side. And the thing was… it felt right. It felt like something Michelle’s body knew how to do without even thinking. A reflex. It felt natural to be this close to the two of them.

Peter sniffled and pushed his face away from her neck, just enough to be able to talk. “I promised you I’d come and find you.” He whispered but it was loud enough for Ned and Michelle to hear. She couldn’t see Peter’s face from this angle but she could see Ned’s. The boy had this puzzled look on his face, like he was wondering why Peter didn’t tell them any of it before. “I said I’d explain everything.

“But then I saw you, guys, and you were so happy and you finally got into MIT and you looked at me like I was a stranger and…” He took in a deep, shuddering breath. Michelle tightened her hold on him. “And you were hurt, MJ.” He pulled away from the hug to look at MJ. His eyes drifted for a moment towards her forehead where she had that plaster all those months ago, the day she met Peter Parker. Again. “You almost died that night. You fell off the Statue of Liberty and I couldn’t get to you. The other Spider-man got to you in time, but you could’ve died and I just figured… if I stayed away from you two, maybe you’ll be safe.”

Michelle tried to shrug nonchalantly. “Yeah, well, we found you anyway.” She said and Ned nodded proudly.

Their friend laughed again. “You told me you would.” He said fondly. “I think you knew I wouldn’t tell you about all of this even before I knew. You said you’d find me again even I didn’t explain things. I should have probably listened to you, huh?”

Ned was bouncing again. “Did we say anything else?” He asked. “You know, before Doctor Strange messed with our memories.”

Peter was quiet for a few moments and just stared at Michelle like he was reliving those moments in his head over and over again, trying to find the answer to this question. And then he smiled at Michelle with raw emotions all across his face. She felt like she was drowning from just looking at it. “I love you, too.”

Her heart stopped for a moment and then picked up its pace. The ‘again’ part made her understand that she must have told him she loved him before the memory spell. And if she knew herself, she probably got caught up in the moment and demanded he only said it back once he explained to her everything that’s happened. After all, she wouldn’t want to forget the first time someone she loved said they loved her back.

The urge to just kiss Peter Parker hit her in a large wave that threatened to drown her all over again. And the dorky smile he had on his face didn’t help at all. But Ned was sitting right next to them and she just wasn’t the kind of person to show affection publicly. It would just feel awkward. So she held herself back. By the look on his eyes, Peter’s thoughts weren’t far different than hers.

And then she punched him in the arm. He yelped and rubbed it, giving her wounded look. “You definitely deserved that for lying to us.” She said sternly and Peter opened his mouth to argue before he sagged in his place and grumbled under his breath. Ned snickered. “Don’t ever do that again, Peter. I mean it.”

“I won’t. I promise.”

“Your promises don’t mean much, dude.” Ned noted.

That night Michelle finished getting ready for bed and got out of the bathroom. She looked at her own bed, then at Peter’s, where he was lying with his eyes open, staring at the ceiling in the dark room. Ned left only after Peter agreed to show them his Spider-man suit, so that was draped over the single chair next to the desk in the corner of the room, almost glowing in the dark with its bright colors. Suddenly the sewing machine Peter owned made sense.

Trying not to let her nerves show, Michelle ignored her bed and stopped next to Peter’s bed, facing him. He gave her a wide-eyed look but scooched over, towards the wall, when she waved her hand, gesturing for him to clear up some space. She got under the blanket with him quickly and then they just rested on their sides, looking at one another silently.

“I’m sorry.” Peter whispered after a few long moments. “I really, really am. I should’ve told you the truth the moment I stepped into Peter Pan.”

She nodded. “Yeah, you should’ve.” She said and then offered him a smile. Peter’s nervousness dimmed a little. “But it’s okay. I kinda get why you did what you did.” She poked him in the ribs and his lips stretched into a smile as he grabbed her hand and didn’t let go. Wouldn’t let go. “And it’s not like I was clueless the whole time. I knew there was something weird about you that I needed to figure out, so…”

For almost a minute Peter was quiet, but then he finally opened his mouth. “You said you knew from that first day.” He said, sounding thoughtful. Michelle hummed. “So why didn’t you just ask me? Why did you ask me to help you search for myself if you already knew you were looking for me?”

“’Cause you tried to avoid me all the time and I was afraid you’d just run away if I tried to get direct answers from you.” She said and there was the shadow of guilt on his face for a split moment, so Michelle knew she made the right call. “I was actually worried you’d just sabotage my investigation, but you helped plenty.” She smiled and leaned her head forward a little. He met her halfway, their foreheads pressed together lightly. “Thanks for not holding me back.”

Peter bit his lip in embarrassment. “I kinda wanted to see if you’d be able to find me.” He admitted. “I decided to stay away but I still WANTED you to remember.” His smile dropped. “I guess you can’t remember, though, huh?” He added. “I mean, you’re here and you believe me and you feel… something.” He looked away from her eyes, as hard as it was from such a close proximity. “But you don’t remember.”

She searched for the words that might make him hurt a little less, but nothing came to mind. So she just did what she’s been dying to do since the moment she learned the truth. Since before she knew all the facts, even. She just leaned in and kissed him. She knew that technically they’ve kissed before. But to her, without her past memories, this was her first kiss with Peter. This was her first kiss, period. So with how awkward she felt, she just pecked him on the lips. So fast, it was over before he seemed to even realize what was happening.

Then she smiled goofily. “It’s like our first kiss all over again.” He chuckled.

“What was that like?”

He took a brief moment to think it over. “It was right after I defeated Beck so I was all sweaty and in this damaged suit that smelled a little like burnt plastic. You came running towards me after the drones stopped attacking and then you showed me the necklace.” His finger grazed the glass gently. Michelle smiled. “Apparently when I told Happy to give it to you if something happened to me, he decided to just give it to you anyway. And I started fussing about how it was broken and it ruined everything I had planned, just like the entire trip. And you cut me off with a kiss.”

Michelle thought this over in her head and then squeezed his hand. He squeezed it back. “I don’t have my memories.” She stated plainly. Peter tried to hide his grimace. “And I might never get them back. But,” She pressed her lips together hesitantly and noticed the way Peter seemed to hang onto her every word. “We’re making new ones. Right now.” She kissed him again, this time confident enough to make it last a little longer.

Peter didn’t push her. He didn’t try to deepen the kiss too much. He didn’t try to make it more than she was ready for even though to him this wasn’t their second kiss. Instead he let her go at her own pace. And when he felt her hesitation and uncertainty, he guided without being forceful at all, just letting her know what to do in this way that felt more tender than anything she’s ever experienced before.

She was out of air and just about to pull away when Peter beat her to it. He drew back with a dorky smile and Michelle was almost stunned with how attuned to her every need he seemed to be. It wasn’t scary or overwhelming – it felt perfect and right. So she smiled back.

“You should probably tell Happy about all of this, too.” She said. “I’m pretty sure he thinks he’s gone nuts.”

Nodding, Peter sighed. “Yeah, I’ll call him tomorrow.” He promised. And maybe he wasn’t the most reliable when it came to promises, but Michelle still trusted him. So that counted for something, right? Peter squinted his eyes at her. “So, are you excited about going to MIT next year?”

“Are you excited about moving to Massachusetts?” She asked in return.

Peter laughed.