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Guel has always found Shaddiq annoying. He tolerated the Grassley wannabe champion for his father’s sake, and because Shaddiq never seemed to have a problem with Guel being the Holder. As long as Shaddiq remained his usual, passive pretty-boy self, Guel could put up with the weird glances and the funny smiles. At least Shaddiq had a tolerable alpha scent. Usually Guel had to force his nose not to twitch around others, but Shaddiq practically bored him in comparison to some of the other noxious alphas running around campus.
It was the wink that really set him on edge. As Holder, Guel constantly fielded inappropriate comments about his bride from the other students, and he always brushed them off the same. None of them deserved to know that Miorine never looked at him, let alone got close enough to him for any of those lewd questions to have real answers. Everyone knew what Miorine smelled like. They wanted to know what the most coveted omega felt like.
They were all in the dueling lounge watching over some petty squabble between two of the lower houses when the inciting alpha pilot took a jab at his opponent’s antenna and missed the mark, opening himself up to a retaliatory finishing blow, and Lauda scoffed.
“If that were Guel, he’d have closed the deal.”
Shaddiq smiled brightly. “Does Guel have a nice long reach, then?”
Lauda frowned at him. “Obviously. His mobile suit is built much better than these.”
Propping his chin on his fist, Shaddiq turned his smile on Guel. “Any chance you’d let me see up close sometime?”
Guel’s brows furrowed. “You’ve seen me duel a hundred times.”
Shaddiq chuckled. “I’m just teasing, Guel. You’re too easy. Don’t worry about it.”
And he’d winked like it was the most natural thing in the world. Guel startled at the gesture. He’s pretty sure he’s never actually seen anyone wink in real life. It’s such a ridiculous, overt thing to do. But, of course, Shaddiq was also ridiculous.
“If you want to fight, then challenge me,” Guel had told him.
Shaddiq only smiled.
That was the first of many strange occurrences, but losing his position as Holder was like throwing a switch.
Suddenly, Shaddiq is everywhere that Guel doesn’t want him to be. When some asshole from Peil house shoulder checks Guel with a smirk and a whisper of, “guess you’re bitchless now,” Guel whirls around on him, only to feel Shaddiq’s hand on his arm.
“It’s not worth it,” he purrs, smiling at Guel. The scent of black tea and honey curls sickeningly through Guel’s nose. “You’re better than a schoolyard brawl. Right?”
Guel lets his breath out through his teeth and yanks his arm free of Shaddiq’s grip. “Whatever.”
He still wants to punch that guy, but Guel is better than that. There’s no reality in which he’d lose to that guy in a real duel, but that’s an expensive point to make just for the entire school to find out what was said to him. If he’s going to duel someone, it should be for a good reason.
Dueling Suletta a second time is worth it, even if he does lose. There is something deeply exhilarating about fighting her that Guel can’t put his finger on. It’s not Suletta. That shivering, stuttering girl doesn’t excite him. But Aerial is brilliant, Aerial is dangerous, and Guel feels worked up just remembering how thoroughly it destroyed his mobile suit. When he focuses on Aerial, it’s like Suletta isn’t even there. There was a moment when Guel thought the suit itself was going to take control from Suletta and kill him in that duel.
That’s what he thinks about the night after, lying awake in his bed. Guel shifts his hips, heat pooling in his groin. He doesn’t really want to jerk off—it’s never satisfying the way he thinks it should be—but when he picks up his phone, he opens his thread with Shaddiq before he really thinks it through.
Why Shaddiq?
With a smirk, he tells himself it’s because nothing will douse the fire faster than golden boy making a fool of himself.
Guel: are there any parties happening on campus?
Shaddiq: I’m honored you thought of me Guel. it just so happens we’re having a small thing at Grassley House. You can be my guest of honor
Guel: Miorine or Suletta aren’t there right?
Shaddiq: the happy couple weren’t invited. you’re safe
Guel leaves on his own. He doesn’t want Lauda to see him acting any weirder than Guel already has been.
Of course, he shouldn’t be surprised that when Shaddiq said “small”, what he really meant was half the damn school was at Grassley House. Guel almost leaves before he gets to the door, but suddenly Shaddiq is walking out front waving his hand.
“My guest of honor! Come on, I have a drink for you.”
Guel scowls at the plastic cup that Shaddiq thrusts into his hand, shoulders tensing as Shaddiq loops his arm around Guel.
“It can’t all be duels and honor and serving our parents, right?” Shaddiq asks, forcibly guiding Guel into the house. “We have to have some fun too.”
“You invited omegas and alphas?” Guel sighs as they enter the lounge peppered with people. The air is heavy with the scent of so many students packed in, but Guel can easily pick up on those lighter notes underneath the darker ones.
“Should have known you preferred the company of alphas,” Shaddiq says, and that time Guel can practically feel Shaddiq winking even when he doesn’t physically do it.
Guel takes a sip of the gross drink just to try to get this foul mood out of him.
Shaddiq smiles as he drinks. “We deserve a night off, don’t you think?”
Guel exhales as burning warmth seeps into his blood. “Yeah.”
“Finish that drink for me, will you?” Shaddiq asks. “There’s hardly any left, so I’ll make new ones and come find you.”
He disppears almost as quickly as he came. Guel doesn’t drink because Shaddiq told him. He drinks because almost instantly, there’s a swarm of underclassmen asking him about his duel with Suletta and how he lost and is he single now? The cup is long empty before Guel finds himself motivated enough to start regaling the crowd with the story of how insane the fight with Aerial was. He feels better talking about that, and he hardly even notices when Shaddiq puts another cup in his hand.
“Thanks,” Guel says, taking a generous sip and continuing on with his story as Shaddiq lounges on the couch beside him, seamlessly blending into the crowd of interested listeners.
Guel forges ahead, only barely remembering what he was talking about. Something about the thrill of the fight, the wildness of not knowing what was going to happen. He does not mention anything about the rogue autopilot program that his father had installed, only the very real danger of Aerial slicing his mobile suit apart.
Guel isn’t ready for it when someone sneers, “Sounds like Guel would rather fuck a mech than an omega.”
There’s scattered laughter throughout the room, but most of the people go quiet as Guel processes the insult in half time. His cup is empty as he slams it down on the table, and he’s about to stand up and challenge the guy’s whole house to a duel, when someone slips his hand up Guel’s spine to pinch the back of his neck.
Shaddiq leans his head in beside Guel’s, all soothing warmth to everyone watching, but his nails are digging into Guel’s neck.
“That sure is some big talk from someone who failed five duels since the year started,” Shaddiq says pleasantly to the instigator. “Are you sure you don’t want to just suck Guel’s dick yourself?”
Everyone laughs with Shaddiq’s permission, but Guel feels his mouth twitch. He wants to snarl. He wants to bite that guy. He wants to rip Shaddiq’s hand off his neck but he can’t move.
“Come on, big guy.” Shaddiq loosens the pressure of his fingers. “Let’s get you something to cool off.”
As soon as Guel stands up, the alcohol sloshes through him and nearly sends him sprawling right to the floor. But Shaddiq is there with an arm around his waist to help Guel toddle down the hall and away from all the noise and the smells and the judgment.
“They’re nothing,” Shaddiq says in Guel’s ear. “Just a waste of your time.”
“I could duel them and prove it,” Guel growls back.
Shaddiq gives a little laugh. “I know you could beat them. You could probably beat everyone in this house in a duel.”
Guel has no idea where they’re walking, he’s just putting one foot in front of the other as Shaddiq talks honey to him.
“You’re the strongest duelest in the entire school,” Shaddiq goes on. “If Suletta didn’t have that suit, you would have crushed her twice by now.”
Guel can’t help the burst of satisfaction he gets from those words, like fresh alcohol in his belly.
“Yeah,” he says, leaning heavily against Shaddiq, and getting a mouthful of that ready-to-drink, rich black tea scent in his mouth. “Yeah, I would have.”
Shaddiq pulls Guel into a dark room, and it’s a relief from all the hectic movement and noise from the party. The only thing he can smell is Shaddiq.
“I should go back out, I don’t want them to, to think they got to me, you know?”
Guel’s tongue is thick, his body heavy.
“I’ll take care of it,” Shaddiq says, hands on Guel’s back. “You should lay down. You could use the rest.”
He pushes Guel forward in the darkness until Guel’s thigh bumps into something, and he reaches out with his hands to find a bed. His body wants it, and Guel folds forward into the softness before he remembers what he was angry about. He tries to push back up, but Shaddiq has his hands on Guel’s back again.
“No, let me go,” Guel says. “I’ll bite that guy’s throat ou—”
Guel’s breath is stolen away as sharp teeth sink into the soft part at the back of his neck. In an instant, Guel’s mind goes blank, and he gasps at the rush of calm getting forced through his body. He groans with his face pressed to Shaddiq’s bed. It feels like he’s sinking into that black tea. Some primal instinct seizes Guel’s limbs, demanding he fight his way out of this, but he feels Shaddiq’s hand dragging down his spine, and those teeth tighten up in his skin.
Guel goes limp, and his body hums in confused calm. He has no clue what’s going on—didn’t think alphas could just do this to each other—but it doesn’t feel bad. Someone is petting him. Is that normal? It feels good.
When the teeth come out, Guel’s legs buzz like he’s shaking off pins and needles.
“Just think of this the next time you’re angry,” Shaddiq whispers.
When Shaddiq cups his fingers against Guel’s ass to squeeze, Guel stiffens, bracing his hands on the bed to shove Shaddiq off of him, but then Shaddiq bites him again. Guel twitches, eyelids fluttering, and he crumples back against the covers as Shaddiq draws his fingers over the back of Guel’s pants.
Guel has no words. He’s dreaming. Once, Guel got a professional massage as a reward after winning a dueling competition, and he remembers thinking about how weird and shameful it felt to be so vulnerable with an omega rubbing him like that. He wasn’t even fully naked, but it felt like he was.
Shaddiq slips his fingers down Guel’s shorts to touch him through his underwear, and Guel shudders as blood rushes to his cock. He has no idea how he got here. He just wants his body to be more comfortable, and this half-on, half-off the bed position isn’t working. It takes a tremendous amount of effort to get both his legs onto the mattress, and he gives a pathetic whimper when he can’t get to his shoes, but he’s so hard, he can’t stand the thought of getting in the way of all this petting.
Pulling his teeth back, Shaddiq asks, “What’s wrong?”
He smells so strong. Guel can taste it in the back of his throat and behind his eyes.
“Shoes,” he grumbles back.
Shaddiq laughs softly. “You rich boys have such good manners.”
“I’ll kill you,” Guel mutters.
“Nevermind.” Shaddiq pushes Guel’s shoes off, each one thumping loudly onto the floor.
“Don’t bite me again.” Guel sounds as drunk as he feels. “You’re a fucking alpha.”
“That’s right,” Shaddiq coos.
He trails his hand up the inside of Guel’s leg.
“I’m the alpha.”
His teeth sink back in, gentle almost, and Guel moans, rolling his hips against the bed to try to relieve some of the pressure in his cock as it pulses harder. It’s the only part of him that hurts. The rest of his body is drifting through space as he weakly tries to hump Shaddiq’s bed.
When Shaddiq puts his fingers back down Guel’s pants, Guel’s brain demands movement, and he whines as he fights his own limp body to get his hand down under his belly and over his cock.
Yeah, he’ll feel better after this.
Of course, Shaddiq is there to help—pushing the band of Guel’s underwear down so Guel can jerk off with his hips in the air. Shaddiq presses the fabric of his briefs up against Guel’s hole, rubbing him slow and steady as warm pleasure clenches through Guel’s muscles. He wants to come so badly. Touching himself never feels this good. His eyes are rolling back. He’s never been angry or hurt in his entire life.
His dad doesn’t exist.
Shaddiq licks the bite mark on the back of Guel’s neck and Guel start to spill with a gasping breath. That tongue feels good; his nipples are hard; maybe he’d like it if someone licked his hole too. Then it wouldn’t be so hot and dry and empty.
Guel comes until he’s shivering, his tongue pressed to the sheets, clenching at Shaddiq’s finger through his underwear.
He passes out almost immediately after.
It takes Guel nearly all morning to come out of the haze of alcohol. He wakes up in a tangle of soft blankets, too heavy and tired to move. He doesn’t realize he’s not in his own bed until he hears the quiet clacking of someone’s keyboard. Prying his eyes open, Guel squints through harsh sunlight to see Shaddiq propped at his desk, cross legged in his chair, typing away like nothing is amiss.
“What the…?”
Shaddiq smiles at Guel over his shoulder. “There you are. Too much to drink last night?”
Guel narrows his eyes, feeling around for something to throw. “Why am I in your bed?”
Shaddiq folds his arms onto the back of his desk chair, eyes bright. “You were three inches away from punching out the ace from Daigo House, so I brought you up here to sleep it off. Turns out you needed more than a nap.”
He looks delighted as he explains.
Guel’s stomach cramps up, and he doubles over as something sour crawls up his throat. “Whatever.”
“Are you going to—” Shaddiq starts to ask, but Guel cuts him off.
“No.”
He’s not going to vomit in front of Shaddiq. He’s not going to show weakness anywhere near Grassley House or Shaddiq’s pack of obsequies omegas. Ignoring the fierce desire to curl up in a ball in Shaddiq’s warm bed, Guel forces himself up to his feet and sways. Shaddiq gracefully catches him in an instant, smoothing his hand down the back of Guel’s head, and Guel takes a deep breath of that rich, dark scent. It’s so strong, but not in the way that most alpha scents hit him—like an ungraceful brick wall. Shaddiq’s scent quells the nausea, inviting Guel to close his eyes and let someone else take care of this mess.
When Guel realizes his feverish face is pressed to Shaddiq’s bare shoulder, he shoves Shaddiq away from him, disgust rising up in place of that soothing calm.
“Don’t fucking touch me,” Guel snarls at him.
Shaddiq gives him a pitying look, standing there in nothing but his loose black pants, hand on hip, like some kind of beautiful golden statue. “I only want to help, Guel.”
“I can fight my own battles, unlike you,” Guel snaps and turns away.
He’s not interested in Shaddiq’s reply. He just needs to get out of this house and away from the smell of black tea. Guel goes straight home, desperate to scrub the smell of alcohol and Grassley House off his body. The whole time he’s under the water, he is plagued by the feeling of a dream he can barely remember. Something hot and shameful that throws him off balance.
He might have had a dream about Shaddiq. Judging from the state of his body in the shower, it might have been wet.
Guel is in freefall for most of the next day, trying to figure out why everything has been so strange for him lately. Suletta threw him out of rhythm. And his dad is breathing down his neck. So is Shaddiq, but in a different way.
Why the fuck is he doing that? He must want something for his damn father. Maybe Mister Grassley wants to get closer to Jeturk House and he’s orchestrating it as best as he can without an omega to try to marry off to Guel or his brother. Our sons will be the best of friends.
Like hell they will.
Guel can hear the others talking about him.
He was married to an omega and didn’t even touch her.
They’re going to think he’s some kind of fucked up if he doesn’t change soon. It’s not Guel’s fault he’s never cared about omegas before. Where was he supposed to find time for that between his father pushing him to take as many duels as possible, and learning how to run a business, and the entire world acting like he was already married?
He didn’t care about Miorine. He wasn’t interested in her at all. Maybe there is something wrong with him?
Shaddiq is licking his neck. Guel startles at the memory of the alcohol fueled dream, and shakes his head. He doesn’t like Shaddiq or Miorine.
Obviously he likes Suletta. He’s just been in denial about it. That’s what’s got him so out of sorts. Once everyone else understands that, everything will be normal again.
Guel spends a good week convincing himself of this, and avoiding both Suletta Mercury and Shaddiq Zenelli at all costs. The last thing he wants is the chance to make an ass of himself again. Of course, all of that goes out the window when he gets wind of the new gossip.
Guel is afraid to duel.
The thought is screaming through his head like an emergency siren for an entire day, anger smeared into his posture, and weirdly, the scent of warm honey in the back of his throat. The memory of Shaddiq’s arm around his shoulder gives Guel an angry fever that he tries to burn off in the gym, but all he suceeds at is working himself up even more. He’s thinking about his father when someone bursts into the gym to tell him that Suletta is on a date with Elan Ceres of all people.
As soon as Guel has the thought, she picked that nobody over me, all he can do is run for the testing sector, trying not to imagine the conversation his father will surely have with him about getting shown up by the Ceres kid after losing two duels in a row. He can feel the sting of his father slapping him fresh on his face like it only just happened.
He feels fingers brushing over the back of his neck, and he almost loses his balance. Guel isn’t thinking straight, isn’t really thinking at all, when he bursts into the testing sector where Suletta and Elan are. He didn’t come here with a plan, but it writes itself when he sees the look on Suletta’s face.
Now is the time to assert himself. He’s an alpha, the eldest son of House Jeturk, and he’s not going to sit by idly while people accuse him of being a coward.
“What did you do to her?” Guel demands.
His hands are shaking, clenched into fists. Think of this next time you’re angry.
Think of what?
Hot shame drips down Guel’s spine as, for some ungodly reason, his mind conjures up the sensation of hands groping over his ass. Before he thinks it through, he’s barking out a challenge to Elan Ceres, and the Ice Prince accepts without batting an eye.
Guel leaves the testing center numb and confused and angrier than ever. His blood runs hot. He wants a fight. He wants to bite the next person who looks at him funny. He knows he might, so he takes the long way back to the dueling lounge just to avoid his classmates. It’s enough time to pass for the duel to become official, and for his phone to start buzzing with messages. He refuses to check. He doesn’t want to hear what his father or brother will say. He just needs to win and get to the part where everything goes back to normal.
As he stalks through the building where the dueling lounge is, Shaddiq attempts to waylay him, a look of pity on his face.
Guel flares his nostrils, clearly angling away to try to ignore, or shoulder check him. Shaddiq breathes a soft sigh, and throws his full weight into Guel’s chest to slam his back up against the wall. Guel’s head snaps back with a grunt, stars in his eyes as he flails his fist out, but Shaddiq pins his wrist to the wall, holding Guel’s shoulder back with his other arm.
“You really need to think this through,” Shaddiq speaks low in Guel’s ear, and his scent blooms on Guel’s tongue.
“Don’t fucking touch me,” Guel growls back, shoving against Shaddiq’s weight.
“What happens if you lose?” Shaddiq asks, pressing his cheek against Guel’s.
Why does he have to smell good? It does things to Guel’s head.
“I won’t lose.” Guel closes his eyes, lips curled over his teeth. He can’t stop himself from breathing in that deep scent. He wants it to fill his throat.
“You hardly know what you’re doing right now, how are you going to win a duel against Elan Ceres? You can’t sleep through a fight with him.”
Guel has no control over himself as he tips his head back just for the feel of his skin stretching thinner. His pulse beats loudly in his neck.
“I’ll beat him,” Guel whispers, baring his teeth.
Shaddiq slips in closer, pressing their hips together. He drops his mouth lower on Guel’s jaw, teeth catching on the flesh of his cheek.
“Fuck off,” Guel grinds the words out, trying to summon the strength to shove Shaddiq off him. He can feel Shaddiq getting hard against his own cock. Not fair, not fair, not fucking fair.
“If you can’t beat me, you definitely can’t beat him.”
Shaddiq’s tongue snakes out over Guel’s pulse, and Guel’s legs almost buckle, arms going slack. He wants more of that, everywhere. He hates himself. It’s only the sound of a door opening somewhere nearby that weakens Shaddiq’s grip on him, allowing Guel to rip himself away. He’s coming apart.
“I don’t need your help,” Guel snaps, charging back down the hall. He needs to get somewhere with other people. Then he’ll be safe.
Shaddiq’s scent sticks with him all the way from the lounge and into his mobile suit. As he sits in the dim tunnels waiting to be launched, the darkness brings the heat of that dream back to him. Black tea steam on his face, and teeth in his neck, and someone’s hand down the back of his pants. A swift panic starts up in his chest, like the wings of a hornet.
What the fuck does Shaddiq want from him? They’re both alphas. It’s not like their parents expect them to be anything other than cordial classmates. There’s no point to any of it. Unless Shaddiq is just some kind of freak. Guel can practically still feel their hips pressing into each other’s when he gets the signal to launch.
Guel is too stunned to get angry when Elan Ceres wins. He’s numb as they carry off the parts of his suit for repairs. He’s deaf as he takes a call from his father, distant shouting in his ear. Guel has no feeling at all as he packs his camping gear with his brother pouting at him.
By the time he sets himself up in the woods, he doesn’t know who to be angriest with. When night falls and he knows no one is going to invite him back home, he lands squarely on himself. He couldn’t have fucked this up worse if he’d tried. The fact that he didn’t try makes him furious. Suletta, Elan, and Miorine can all go to hell.
Guel gets no sleep. He wakes up exhausted, phone alarm informing him he has class. In that moment, he thinks maybe class doesn’t matter at all, but he gets himself up anyway. Habit, or something.
Shaddiq follows him through the woods on his way home after his last class. Guel doesn’t see him, but he can smell the warm, rich scent. It’s enough to make his head turn, but he ignores the weird ache in his gut and keeps going. Shaddiq doesn’t show himself, but Guel braces for it until morning. For some reason, he keeps picturing Shaddiq slipping into his tent in the middle of the night. He dreams about it. Fingers pressing into the fabric of his underwear, pressing inside him, coming in his sleep.
Guel wakes up angry and takes a shower in the locker room of the student gym. He doesn’t shut his eyes once under the water, worried someone will walk in on him and ask him why he’s here instead of Jeturk House, and is that cum on his shorts? He’s jumpy all day, convinced people will hear his thoughts if he gets near them. He’s thinking about Shaddiq, so every thought is deafening.
It takes Shaddiq another day to finally show up outside Guel’s tent, freshly showered, with concern on his face. “Come back to Grassley House. Take a real shower. Or even a bath, I won’t tell.”
“I don’t need anything from you,” Guel says immediately, though he lacks the anger that he wanted to project.
Shaddiq smells good enough to make Guel’s mouth water. What the fuck?
“You can sleep in my bed again,” Shaddiq offers. “If you want.”
Guel flashes back to the warm, cozy blankets, and the wet dream.
“I’m good,” Guel growls back at him, bracing himself for the inevitable pivot.
“It’s an open offer,” Shaddiq assures him. “You’re welcome anytime.”
As he turns away to go back to his house, Guel is almost disappointed that Shaddiq doesn’t press. He was expecting another tussel. Maybe he needed one. Something to shake him out of this hollowness. Anger is easier than this sinking numbness, and Guel’s legs twitch as he thinks about running after Shaddiq, tackling him to the ground, sinking his teeth into the back of Shaddiq’s neck.
Shaddiq slipping out of his grip, turning Guel onto his own back, licking the nerves at the top of his spine.
Guel pinches himself to stop thinking about it.
He makes it a week. A week of his brother in charge of Jeturk House, a week of getting ignored by everyone, a week of showers in the locker room, and absolutely zero communication from his father. When it starts to rain, the chill seeps into the tent as the smallest leak starts to drip onto Guel’s cheek. He almost destroys the tent as a fit of rage threatens to take hold of him, whispering how nice it will feel to break something, but the heat that winds up swelling through his muscles isn’t anger at all. It’s something else. Hands on his body.
When Guel shoves his things into a bag, he tells himself it’s because he could get sick out there in the rain, and that would truly be the most pathetic thing of all. When Shaddiq opens the door to Grassley House, he is the warmest face in the world.
“Our bathrooms are nicer than the other houses,” Shaddiq promises in a whipser, and reaches out to take Guel’s bag from him.
Guel flinches away. “I got it.”
“I’m glad you’re out of the rain,” Shaddiq says, closing the door behind him as Guel shuffles inside.
Without a party in the way, Grassley House is a lot humbler. A little ostentatious in places, but no more than any other of the three branch Houses. The whole place smells like Shaddiq, and despite the queasy feeling in Guel’s stomach, he follows Shaddiq up toward his room where it’s even stronger.
“I’ll get you a towel and some spare clothes.” Shaddiq speaks gently, and Guel wants to snap at him for treating Guel with such delicate care.
He doesn’t say anything, just lets Shaddiq lead him into the bathroom attached to the all too familiar bedroom, and lets out a small breath of relief. He wastes no time turning the water on, too eager to get out of his damp school uniform. Even just the hot steam is enough to make Guel feel more human, but as soon as he stands under the warm water, he wants to curl up and go to sleep right there.
How did he let this happen?
Guel covers his face, trying to fight off the pinch in his throat that wants him to cry. Alphas don’t cry, but this is the best place for it, isn’t it? It’s not like Shaddiq doesn’t already know how desperate Guel is. A few tears is nothing at this point. If Shaddiq has any humanity, he’ll let Guel lie about it.
Of course, as soon as he gives himself permission, the tears won’t come. Resignation rises instead to meet him, and Guel drops his arms to his sides, titling his face back into the water. He’s too tired for sadness now. And Shaddiq’s scent in this shower isn’t helping. He keeps catching the edges of it in his nose, the soap and shampoo that Shaddiq uses taunting Guel from the basket hanging around the shower head.
When he realizes he left his own stuff in his bag on the bathroom floor, Guel turns to go get it, and freezes up. Shaddiq is moving in a blur through the fogged up glass. Guel’s heart jumps up his throat, until he remembers Shaddiq offered to get him clothes and a towel.
“Thanks,” Guel chokes out.
Shaddiq straightens up, his body indecipherable as he shifts in a brown blur. “Of course. Do you need anything else?”
Guel turns his back to the glass, sudden nerves at the thought that, even though Guel can’t see him clearly, what if Shaddiq can see him?
“No, I just left my soap in my bag so…”
Leave, Guel doesn’t say.
Shaddiq gives a small laugh, amplified by the tiles.
“You must have been in a real hurry,” he teases.
“Yeah, well,” Guel’s voice comes out in a snap, but he tempers himself. He shouldn’t yell at the guy letting him shower in his room. “It was cold out there…”
Guel dips his head under the water again, focusing on the heat against his neck. Every time he talks to Shaddiq now, he feels strange. The heavy feeling like he forgot something important presses self-consciousness into his skin. He shouldn’t care what Shaddiq thinks of him, or really any alpha, but he feels anxiety nipping at his heels all the same.
“Here.”
Guel startles at the sound of Shaddiq’s voice so close. He’s in the shower with Guel, standing behind him and holding out the plastic bag with Guel’s soap and shampoo.
He’s naked.
“What the fuck are you doing?” Guel rips the bag out of Shaddiq’s hand and angles away from him. “I was going to get it.”
“It is my shower,” Shaddiq says. “And I thought you might need a hand.”
When Shaddiq steps toward him, Guel panics. The bag slips from his fingers as he flattens himself against the glass in a desperate attempt to protect his neck. Shaddiq swoops in closer, smiling lightly as he rests his fingers on Guel’s hip.
“What do you want?” Guel asks, voice low, but much too quiet.
Shaddiq is beautiful, long and lean with pretty hair that Guel can never understand how he keeps so smooth and nice. When it falls in Shaddiq’s face, Guel can almost imagine wanting to kiss Shaddiq. Before they both presented as alphas, there was always at least one kid in their class fantasizing about Shaddiq as an omega, how good he would feel. He was always pretty, and he had a sweet face. They wanted him to be an omega.
For a brief moment, Guel wonders if Shaddiq wants to play the part. Guel’s last bit of selfish pride rears up, telling him that Shaddiq wants Guel because Guel is an alpha. When Shaddiq steps in closer, smiling like he knows something Guel needs, his fingers spark against Guel’s hips. Maybe Guel had it wrong. Maybe Shaddiq will let Guel fuck him.
Guel’s breath still catches when Shaddiq leans their bare stomachs together, hips pressing into each other’s. Shaddiq’s mouth is open, his gaze set on Guel’s lips. Why does he have to be so fucking pretty? It’s hard to breathe with him so close.
“I used to be jealous of you, you know?” Shaddiq tells him with a glint in his eye. “We’re basically the same height but you’re so much wider than me.”
Guel’s blood rushes, heart thrashing. His dick is swelling against Shaddiq’s thigh, skin burning where Shaddiq touches him. The steam is going straight to his head. Shaddiq drops his gaze, parting their hips just a little so he can run his fingers down the length of Guel’s cock with a smirk.
“Even your dick’s bigger than mine,” Shaddiq says, a little more breath in his voice as he presses Guel’s against his own.
Guel can’t fucking breathe. It feels so good, he knows he’s going to get wet if Shaddiq keeps doing that. He’s never done this, never so much as thought about touching another alpha, and now he doesn’t know what the hell he wants.
Shaddiq laughs quietly, marking with his finger exactly where his own cock hits compared to Guel’s, circling under the head of Guel’s dick. “You always have to be first, huh?”
“Shut up, I didn’t…” Guel has no idea why he’s embarrassed by this, but Shaddiq put him on the defensive. “It’s not like I chose that.”
Shaddiq smiles, gaze flicking back up to Guel’s. “It’s alright, I forgive you.”
He moves his head in closer, and Guel braces, ashamed down to his core how badly he wants to kiss Shaddiq. His breath trembles as they both look at the other’s mouth, Shaddiq leaning closer and closer, and Guel not moving an inch. Shaddiq still has him by the dick, but the lightest press of Shaddiq’s lips on his makes him moan. Guel shudders between the glass and Shaddiq’s body, unsure how to move. He’s barely kissed a handful of omegas, and that wasn’t like this at all. It wasn’t confusing and it didn’t make him so hot and he wasn’t already naked.
How do two alphas kiss? The thought scares him as he nervously tries to meet Shaddiq, parting his lips as he tries to figure out what to do. He screams in his own head that he should touch Shaddiq too, take his waist or his face or something, but Guel’s hands are frozen against the glass. It’s that scent, thick in his nose, clouding his brain. Two alphas rubbing up against each other is so wrong, Guel can’t bring himself to admit how delirious it’s making him.
Shaddiq finally closes the distance, pressing a real kiss to Guel’s mouth as Guel’s breath leaves him in a rush. Guel’s not even really kissing him back, just not pulling away. His face is so hot, it almost hurts. Shaddiq slips his tongue past Guel’s lips, and Guel’s eyes snap shut. That tongue. He can feel it on his skin so vividly, or maybe he just wants to.
Shaddiq’s fingers tighten up around Guel’s cock, and Guel gasps into Shaddiq’s mouth. He wants more, he wants to come, he wants to feel good. He wants Shaddiq’s tongue on him.
Shaddiq breaks the kiss with a quick breath. “Been a while, huh?”
Guel doesn’t have it in him to lie and pretend like he’s done this. His head is swimming. “I like your…mouth.”
Shaddiq’s brows jump up, and he smiles, breathing a little harder. “Oh, is that what you want?”
Guel only breathes back at him, no words in his head, just blood and lust.
Shaddiq leans down to kiss Guel’s shoulder, and Guel’s heart nearly bursts from his ribs. Is he really going to? Guel can hardly stand to watch Shaddiq kissing his way down Guel’s chest, stopping to suck one of Guel’s nipples into his mouth which wrenches another moan from his throat. He didn’t even know he liked that, but it sends a thrill straight down to his toes.
When Shaddiq presses his mouth to the top of Guel’s dick, he feels the drops of cum welling up from his slit. Shaddiq holds Guel’s cock up to tongue at the curve of his head, and Guel’s knees almost give out. Half the omegas at the academy aren’t as pretty as Shaddiq, and Guel has never been this hard in his life.
“Is this what you wanted?” Shaddiq asks, looking up at him. “To see me on my knees?”
“I don’t…” Guel swallows, too excited to get his head straight. “I don’t know.”
Shaddiq smirks at him before he opens his mouth. Guel is panting like a dog, that pink tongue sliding down his own flushed cock. Shaddiq closes his mouth around Guel and slides his fingers down Guel’s thighs. Goosebumps erupt over Guel’s body, and he shivers as his knot starts to fill. He wants to sink down lower, to get off his feet so he can shut his brain off but Shaddiq doesn’t let him.
He pulls his mouth off Guel, giving one last flick of his tongue over Guel’s slit just to make sure there’s no more drops left.
“I like omegas that are bigger than me,” Shaddiq says with a grin.
Guel’s stomach drops. “What?”
Shaddiq kisses the head of his dick again, and pops back up to his feet. Guel is sure he misheard, or maybe it’s some stupid Grassley House joke, or a slip of the tongue.
“We’re both al—” Guel goes to correct him, and Shaddiq smears his cum-stained lips against Guel’s. The salt bursts on his tongue, and Guel jerks away from him, but Shaddiq slips his hand through Guel’s hair, pulling his head back.
“I’m the alpha,” Shaddiq says in his ear. “You’re my omega.”
“Fuck you,” Guel spits back, but when he tells himself to push away, nothing happens. Something in his brain protests the thought of separating from this scent, this body, this pleasure.
Shaddiq pushes the hair from Guel’s neck, pulling him forward from the wall like he means to turn and bite Guel. Guel latches onto Shaddiq, hoping if they stay chest to chest, he’ll be able to keep those teeth back. Before he can try to wrench Shaddiq’s face away, Shaddiq slips his fingers over Guel’s neck and pinches the soft skin.
Guel gasps as weakness crashes through him, and Shaddiq kisses him again. Why does his tongue feel so good? Guel can’t keep his feet under him. With Shaddiq gripping the back of his neck, he’s going to melt.
Pulling back is difficult, but Guel manages to gasp at him, “Can’t—Let me sit.”
Shaddiq guides Guel down onto his knees, and Guel pants for air against him as water pours down his back.
“Come on, Guel,” Shaddiq murmurs, loosening his hold into something softer. “Aren’t you tired of doing all the work?”
Guel leans his head against Shaddiq’s shoulder, arms going slack around his middle.
It is tiring. He’s exhausted. Every time he tries something on his own, he digs the hole deeper. Shaddiq trails his hand down Guel’s spine. Guel wants to stop thinking. Shaddiq cups his ass, spreading his fingers across Guel’s skin.
He wants to feel good again.
“How about it?” Shaddiq asks, following the water down over Guel’s ass. “Be my omega tonight, and I’ll do all the thinking for you.”
Guel digs his fingers into Shaddiq’s flank as Shaddiq rubs warm water over his hole. His cock throbs, and he tries to hush his groaning against Shaddiq’s neck. That dream wasn’t a dream at all. He’s felt this before. Shaddiq touched him that night, and Guel came so hard he couldn’t move afterwards.
“If you still like my mouth, come with me to bed,” Shaddiq says.
He stands up, pulling a reluctant Guel with him in stiff bursts of movement. Guel is scowling at him, all but growling as his anger flares up again, but he keeps his teeth back. He follows Shaddiq out of the shower. He lets Shaddiq dry his hair with a towel, take Guel’s hand, and lead him back into his bedroom. The only light is from Shaddiq’s desk lamp, and it casts his bed in a dim yellow glow. Shaddiq keeps the long side pushed against the wall, and Guel stares down at the three blankets folded neatly at the foot of the bed, the row of pillows covering the seam between bed frame and wall. The covers are dark green, and they look just as soft as they were when Guel slept here before.
Without warning, Shaddiq slides up behind Guel, hugging his waist from behind.
“No, no, n—ahh.” Guel’s words break apart on his tongue when Shaddiq nips the back of his neck. Guel’s body is electrified, and he starts to double over as gravity gets too strong. That’s what it feels like: when they go from zero gravity to full gravity, and his entire body is weighed back down by the steadying pull of a planet beneath him.
Shaddiq moves him with the force of a celestial body.
Guel puts his hands on the covers, sparks skittering up his chest when he feels the hard heat of Shaddiq’s dick against the crease of his ass. What are they going to do? Is Shaddiq going to put that in him? Will it even work?
Shaddiq pulls his teeth back to kiss Guel’s neck. “Go on, get in.”
Guel keeps his mouth shut tight, slowly crawling onto Shaddiq’s bed. There’s no escaping the smell of him. Subtly sweet black tea that should grate against his nose, but doesn’t. Guel hates how badly he wants to curl up right here, show his belly and let Shaddiq do whatever he wants. That’s not what he should want. That’s not what alphas do. None of this is. Alphas don’t fuck each other when there’s a hundred willing omegas at their beck and call.
The snap of a bottle opening straightens Guel’s spine, and he sits in the middle of Shaddiq’s bed feeling pathetic. His father would disown him for this. Lauda wouldn’t know what to do. He hangs his head and tells himself it’s not going to feel good, and when he hates it, he’ll leave here knowing that this was all just some miserable, stupid mistake.
The mattress dips, and Guel stiffens. It’s not going to feel good, and he won’t like it.
Shaddiq’s hand is warm on Guel’s shoulder as he pushes Guel down toward the covers.
“We’re not supposed to do this,” Guel mutters as he lays on his back.
Shaddiq slips his arm under Guel’s neck, catching Guel’s eyes with a pretty smile. “Of course we’re not. You and I had our lives set in stone by our parents. Doesn’t mean we can’t.”
Shaddiq still has a sweet face when he dips his hand between Guel’s thighs. It’s not going to feel good, and he won’t like it. Guel’s legs jump apart at the slick finger sliding over his rim. Guel tries to turn his face away as blood rushes to his cheeks. His body is attemping to take over, throwing his leg over Shaddiq’s hip, opening himself up so Shaddiq can push his finger inside.
Guel grits his teeth. It’s not going to feel good. Shaddiq’s hand snakes over his chest, still warm and damp from the shower as he brushes over Guel’s nipple, and Guel yelps. His eyes snap shut, left arm flailing against Shaddiq’s chest, trying to grasp something with Shaddiq feeling his walls. Shaddiq gives a breathy laugh in Guel’s ear, the sound of steam heating him up from the inside out.
“Put your arm around me,” he says.
Guel blindly paws around Shaddiq’s chest and shoulder, unable to look at him with Shaddiq working his finger in and out of Guel’s body like that. When he finally gets his arm free, there’s nothing to distract him from what’s happening, and he gets a jolt of arousal that snaps through his mucles.
Like teeth in his neck.
Guel opens his mouth to shout or moan or something, and Shaddiq kisses him again. Panic beats through Guel’s chest when Shaddiq sighs into him like he’s loving every second of this, and Guel’s dick jumps, blood roaring. He thought it was just some game, but the sounds Shaddiq makes with his tongue in Guel’s mouth, another long finger pressing into Guel’s hole to stretch him open, doesn’t sound like amusement. Shaddiq is hot to the touch, and Guel’s fingers recoil from his smooth skin.
This can’t be real.
Shaddiq pulls back, eyes lidded, redness blooming over the apples of cheeks like he’s been drinking, pretty lips parted as his tongue darts out to wet them.
“Everyone thinks they know who the most prized omega is,” Shaddiq says, voice low and smug and heavy with lust.
Guel lays there, dumbstruck and jelly-legged and aching. His damn knot is right there, heavy on his own stomach. “I’m not an om—”
Shaddiq grips Guel’s chest again, dragging his palm over the tip of Guel’s nipple. Numbing heat roars through Guel’s torso. He wrenches his legs back, his hands darting out to grab Shaddiq’s shoulders as the wildest sensation he’s ever felt rips through him. He wants to come so bad. Shaddiq’s fingers are so damn long, every time he slides them back into Guel’s body, Guel wants to cry.
“You’re my omega,” Shaddiq tells him, spreading his fingers inside Guel, testing how loose he is. “Only mine, okay?”
Guel can’t close his mouth, panting as he hauls Shaddiq closer, gripping him with nails. He’s never made such shameful sounds. What started out like pained growls is tumbling into desperate whining as Guel’s cock goes untouched. He wants to come, he wants to come, he wants to come so fucking bad.
The third finger goes in even easier than the second, and Shaddiq curves his touch like he’s looking for something. Guel wants to kick him for this endless teasing. Do something! He screams it in his head, but he can’t get the words out. He can’t speak at all. That would get in the way of the scent he’s huffing. Shaddiq smells so good, it feels like he’s cheating at something, but there are no rules to this.
When Shaddiq finds what he’s looking for, Guel really does shout. His body contorts as his vision whites out and he swears he can hear the metal screeching of his mobile suit getting carved to pieces again. He comes a little, not nearly enough, but the feeling doesn’t end. Shaddiq rubs him from the inside, pressing buttons Guel has never even thought about, until Guel is shaking and twitching underneath him. He rakes his hand over Shaddiq’s back, slapping his other on the bed to brace himself, his knees bending toward his chest as Shaddiq fucks him on his fingers.
Guel whimpers, his stomach cramping and his head pounding, and he really does sound like an omega. He sounds like a bitch in heat. Shaddiq gives him another heated kiss, their mouths barely fitting together as Guel fights for breath, not that it matters. Guel still moans when he feels Shaddiq’s tongue again. It’s like they can’t help themselves. When Guel realizes that neither of them seem to be able to stop, he gives in, going limp at another spurt of cum across his stomach.
Shaddiq wants him. When he breaks their kiss, leaning his forehead against Guel’s with heavy breaths, Guel allows himself a flicker of selfish pleasure at the thought that Shaddiq really wants this. Shaddiq retracts his fingers, and Guel gives a huff of protest, but his face burns when Shaddiq nudges the head of his cock up against Guel’s rim instead. Shifting over top of Guel, Shaddiq leans on one arm and lines their bodies up, his hips settling between Guel’s thighs, facing Guel with his curtain of blond hair pooling on the bed.
All that talk about Guel being bigger doesn’t mean anything when Guel’s never done this. He expects it to hurt, to rip through him with burning pain, because alphas aren’t supposed to do this. He isn’t ready for how easy it is for Shaddiq to get the head of his dick past Guel’s rim. Shaddiq pauses to moan with his mouth against Guel’s cheek as Guel’s body clenches tight around him. When Shaddiq moans, it doesn’t sound shameful at all. Guel flushes white hot, coming a little more with so much pressure inside him, and the vocalization at how good Shaddiq feels. How good Guel is making him feel.
Maybe this is better.
Shaddiq pushes in deeper, and Guel shudders at the depth, his insides going numb. Shaddiq is still an alpha. He’s not small, and Guel’s body wasn’t made to take this. But it doesn’t hurt. It feels—it’s not good, and he doesn’t like it—Guel reaches behind him to grab the covers, coming again in miserable droplets, but it’s not fucking enough. He wants his knot drained, he wants Shaddiq’s tongue, he wants to be good for once.
“Aah, oh, it’s so much better like this.” Shaddiq practically preens over top of Guel, his back arched as he pushes his cock in deeper, right up to the swell of his knot. Guel can hardly see straight, no room in his brain for anything when Shaddiq is so deep inside him, but he’s beautiful. He’s the prettiest thing Guel’s ever seen, even with his knot teasing Guel’s hole.
“You’re not really going to try and knot me, are you?” Guel asks, out of breath, but another wave of fear breaking over him as he thinks about it.
Shaddiq smiles at him, chest swelling with every one of his breaths. “I’m the alpha, and you’re the omega. Of course I am.”
Guel’s eyes fly open. “It’s not gonna fit!”
Shaddiq drags his fingers over Guel’s chest, plucking Guel’s nipple to turn his breath to a hiss.
“I’ll do the thinking tonight, remember?” Shaddiq says. “You just have to enjoy it.”
Guel’s eyes roll back as Shaddiq swipes the length of his finger over the very tip of Guel’s hardened nipple. His body starts to unclench again, and Shaddiq reaches behind him for the little bottle he opened earlier. The lube startles him when Shaddiq pours it where their bodies meet, but when he works it over his knot, the warmth seems to bleed into Guel’s skin. Guel thoughts turn to cotton and he snakes his hand down his belly to touch his own cock.
He gasps as pleasure spears through his muscles. Shaddiq uses his fingers to pull Guel open wider, trying to force his knot into a body that wasn’t made to take one. Guel doesn’t have the presence of mind to actually jerk off, just grips his own dick in desperation as he feels the impossible heat of Shaddiq’s knot squeezing into his body.
Shaddiq strains against him, his mouth peeling open as he takes jagged breaths. Guel can hardly believe it’s actually going inside him, but more than that, he doesn’t want Shaddiq to stop. He wants it to work, wants Shaddiq to finish what he started and keep Guel here with him all night. Tilting his own hips back a little further, Guel has never felt more embarrassed, more needy in his entire life when he grabs the backs of his own thighs to pull himself open wider just so Shaddiq can finish shoving his knot all the way in.
Guel’s legs shake when it presses inside. He is a rubber band ready to snap. This can’t be real. Shaddiq’s eyes flash, pupils dilating at the tight fit, and he starts to come. Guel twitches, hands dropping to the bed in awe at the look on Shaddiq’s face. Angelic really. Blissful. His breath twists into a gasp, eyes fluttering shut as he comes again, and again, and again, his whole body pitching forward with every burst.
Guel reaches for his own cock again, needing to relieve some of the pressure, but Shaddiq beats him to it. He wraps a fist around Guel’s knot, stealing Guel’s breath. His eyes shine as he catches Guel’s gaze again, a wicked blend of emotion in his face, and Guel wonders if this is what he looks like when he beats someone in a duel.
“I told you I would take care of you,” Shaddiq says, panting.
His hand squeezes tighter, and Guel’s hips jump.
“No no no,” his voice bursts out of him, reaching for Shaddiq’s arm, but those long slender fingers only squeeze harder.
Guel’s ears ring when he starts to come. Not like before, not like ever. He’s never had anyone milk his knot, certainly not by hand. He writhes against the bed, tearing at the covers, knees snapping against Shaddiq’s flank. People joked about this kind of thing. Everyone heard the same stupid story about desperate alphas clogging the pipes in their bathrooms for doing this.
Don’t pop your knot on your own. It’s more mess than you’ll know what to do with.
Radio static blares through Guel’s head as Shaddiq massages his knot, rolling his own hips all the while as he spills nonstop inside Guel. He works them in tandem, every stilted thrust he gives jostling Guel’s knot in his fingers. If Guel had any mind left, he might have complained about the mess he’s making, but as he shudders and gasps for breath, the wet warmth of his own cum pouring over his stomach and chest only stokes the fire. So good, so good, a mess for his alpha.
There is no peace for the two of them, no gentle rocking of alpha and omega joining their bodies and cuddling with each other as they drift off in each other’s arms. Guel’s body keeps trying to push Shaddiq’s knot out, and every time Shaddiq has to shove it back into place, Guel’s vision goes black and he comes again even after he’s sure he’s got nothing left. He can’t even go fully numb, not while his body is so hooked on the pleasure coursing through him. The wrongness of it keeps him wide awake and spiraling.
He has no idea how long it takes for Shaddiq to drain his knot. The concept of hours is lost on him in the delirium and the yellow light of Shaddiq’s desk lamp. They could have been holed up in Shaddiq’s room for days and Guel would have believed it. When Shaddiq gives his last sighing moan and slips out of Guel’s body, Guel’s legs drop to the bed like lead weights. He lays there, panting for air, as a fuzziness blooms across his temples. He can’t open his eyes, or move, or do anything but lay there.
Shaddiq lays down beside him, his weight shifting over the bed, and he kisses Guel’s neck. Guel has no idea why this of all things makes him feel strange and shy again, but he twitches at the intimacy of the gesture. Shaddiq licks his pulse, and Guel breathes hard. Inch by inch, Shaddiq crowds in closer, kissing and licking and nipping at Guel’s neck. Guel can barely feel anything from the chest down, but this. It feels good. Stupid and good, like he doesn’t want Shaddiq to do this to anyone else.
“I can’t believe you did that,” Guel forces the words out, just to say something so he doesn’t drown in the soft feeling at his neck.
“I learned a lot of tricks growing up in an orphanage,” Shaddiq murmurs against his skin. “Let me bite you.”
“No,” Guel whines, but his voice lacks conviction. They can both hear it.
“Come on,” Shaddiq says, another kiss as he nudges Guel forward.
Shaddiq guides an exhausted Guel onto his stomach, pushing Guel’s hair aside to expose his neck. Shaddiq presses his nose to the back of Guel’s neck, inhaling deeply and selfishly. Guel is glad his face is buried when he blushes. His breath catches, something warm and fierce cracking open in his chest.
“Just do it already,” he mumbles into the bed.
“You smell so good,” Shaddiq says, burying his face in Guel’s hair. “Like my omega.”
“Shut up,” Guel snaps, hands clenched in the covers as goosebumps shoot down his body.
Is this what it feels like to be chosen by someone?
Shaddiq’s teeth sink into his neck, blessed weakness spiraling through Guel’s body. Guel willingly sinks into it, eyes rolling shut, limbs going limp.
Tomorrow, every single person will know what he’s become.
“Can I…” Guel’s voice is coated in honey, thick and slow. “Stay with you?”
Shaddiq smooths his hand down Guel’s spine, kissing the bite mark he just left.
“Of course,” Shaddiq promises. “Where else would you go?”