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Shadow can control himself. He is used to being the calm and collected one, as angry as he can get. He seldom lets his guard down. He seldom trusts anyone.
So why has it been so difficult to keep up this facade lately?
Speaking with Rouge is about the closest Shadow has gotten to truly opening up. He’s told her about his time on the Ark. His time with Maria. But he’s never called her during those nights where looking up at the sky becomes all too familiar. Where within the stars he can almost smell the eerily clean scents of a hospital room and hear the kind whispers of that young girl. Too young. Or rather, gone too soon. Especially in place of him.
There were many times during these nights that Shadow would almost cave and reach out to someone, but he could never bring himself to. He could never fully trust again.
———————————
A week ago (wow has it really only been a week?) Sonic called Shadow for backup to help disrupt an Eggman plan that was slightly more difficult than expected.
“Fancy seeing you here, Faker” Sonic had said with a wink when Shadow arrived at the scene, as if he wasn’t the one who left a pleading voicemail on Shadow’s communicator mere minutes prior. With Shadow’s help, Sonic, Tails, Amy, and Knuckles were able to easily discourage Eggman into retreating to his lair.
In the spirit of celebration, after high fiving a cheering Tails and giving Knuckles and Amy two thumbs up, Sonic had walked over to Shadow and placed an arm over his shoulder in an awkward half-hug. This meant nestling his arm deep within Shadow’s quills to reach his back, a slightly more intimate move than it would have been with any other type of animal.
Sonic looked into Shadows ember eyes, full of touch-starved shock, and just quiet enough for his friends not to hear, whispered “I knew I could count on you, Shads”
This statement shouldn’t have made Shadow react the way he did. He blushed slightly and averted his gaze, confused as to why Sonic had whispered such a thing. Sonic confidently spouted similar phrases all the time, well within earshot of his friends and even Eggman. Why was this time different? Well, for one thing, Sonic was touching him. A touch that Shadow had to use all of his remaining energy to refrain from leaning into.
First came the harmless flirting, meaningless touches of their hands or bouts of praise and encouragement in the heat of battle. But then, there was the trust. For some reason Sonic trusts him.
That almost made Shadow want to do the same.
———————————
Shadow kneels on the soft, disrupted dirt just outside of his and Rouge’s secluded cottage. His bare hands are patting down the soil around the lavender plants he is introducing to his garden. His gloves are laying discarded in the grass next to a small, metal watering can.
This is another instance of Shadow almost opening up to Rouge. She knows about his garden, of course, and she knows about his other hobbies, but she doesn’t know why.
Rouge doesn’t know that every flower Shadow plants is a reminder of what he lost, and that every fantasy book he reads takes him back to his time on the ARK.
Shadow finishes planting the sweet smelling flowers and reaches over to grab the watering can. His ear twitches, reacting to the ghost of a sound that very well may be the wind. Though Shadow tells himself this, he freezes to listen more, hand still grasping the handle of his watering can.
After another few seconds of ears and eyes scanning his surroundings, Shadow hears something in the distance again. His quills shift in defense and he’s reacted before even identifying the threat. In a swift movement, he has his attacker pinned to the ground.
Sonic coughs due to the sudden impact on his chest as he is forcefully pushed into the earth.
“Jeez man, it’s just me.”
Upon recognizing his ‘attacker’, Shadow breathes out a sigh of relief that he quickly disguises as a growl. “Who told you where I live?”
Both hedgehogs paused at this question, Sonic not wanting to reveal the answer and Shadow already knowing it. Rouge.
Sonic blushes slightly and looks down. It is only then that they realize the position they are in. Shadow on top of Sonic, bare paws on his shoulders, holding him down.
“Oh..you…gloves” is all that a shocked Sonic can get out before Shadow remembers he is gloveless and jumps off of Sonic. He rushes over to where he had previously been and hastily pulls his gloves on.
Shadow turns to glance at Sonic, who is now sitting up in the grass on the same spot where he was tackled, eyeing Shadow with concern.
“I'm so sorry, Shads, I didn’t mean to catch you in such a vulnerable state,” Sonic said.
Shadow turns to face the garden, his back to Sonic. He crosses his arms and huffs, thinking about how to reply.
Sonic speaks again before Shadow figures out what to say.
“Shadow, are you okay?”
Shadow sighs again and says “I’m fine,” and then quietly, after a pause, “I wish you would have told me you were coming.”
Shadow can hear Sonic get up and approach him slowly, the sound of his shoes brushing the soft grass below. Shadow’s ears flatten as he senses the blue hedgehog’s presence only a foot or so behind him. He doesn’t dare look back.
“Obviously you’re not. I said I’m sorry, but is there any other way I can make it up to you?” Sonic asks.
“You could leave me alone,” Shadow mumbles.
Sonic either doesn’t hear this comment or chooses to ignore it. Shadow’s ears twitch again as he hears the soft sound of cloth hitting the ground. Before he can register what is happening, he feels a warm hand on the side of his arm. An ungloved hand.
Shadow’s eyes widen in shock. Intentionally revealing one’s paws to someone is an act of trust and respect; usually reserved for lovers and close friends and family. He breaks his intense stare at the garden and turns to meet green eyes staring back at him.
“There. Now we’re even” Sonic says, trying to keep up his usual cheerful demeanor. His voice quavers, however, and something else is accompanying the usual mischief in his eyes. His hand strokes the soft fur on Shadows arm a few more times before Sonic realizes what he’s doing. Shadow just continues to stare, a lot more aware of Sonic’s movements than Sonic himself seems to be.
Sonic removes his hand from Shadow’s arm and sits down in the grass, intently admiring Shadow’s garden. “This is a really pretty garden, you must take good care of it”
Shadow hesitates briefly before sitting next to Sonic with a huff. “Eh- thanks- I guess. But uh, why are you here anyway?”
Sonic shrugs and replies “I don’t know really. I was bored I guess and felt like bothering someone”
“Well congratulations, hedgehog, you succeeded in your mission” Shadow says seriously, but his eyes are laced with humor.
Sonic chuckles lightly and lowers his head in embarrassment. After a few more moments with only the sound of birds in the distance, Sonic says “The truth is that all of my friends are busy today, so I thought I’d stop by.” Sonic leaves out the fact that he only really checked in with Tails before seeking out Shadow.
Shadow tilts his head ever so slightly in confusion. “What exactly do you mean by that”
“I..uh-“ Sonic pauses and considers the question, or rather tries to come up with an excuse. Giving up, he sighs and says, “I guess I’m lonely,” before looking back to the garden.
Shadow is surprised at the amount of vulnerability Sonic is letting him see. He almost feels bad for being so closed off, but then again he hasn’t truly opened up to anyone since Maria, and he isn’t planning to any time soon.
Great, now he’s thinking about Maria. Maybe it would be good to get his mind off of things?
“Okay, fine,” Shadow says, getting up. “Did you want to spar or race?”
Sonic gets up as well but only to grab Shadow’s wrist and lightly pull him back down. “I uh, I was hoping we could just talk?” Sonic asks. Both hedgehogs try to ignore their warming faces as blue paws touch black fur again.
“Um, yeah sure” Shadow hesitates before eventually sitting back down.
Sonic carries the conversation, as per usual. He tells Shadow about his latest adventures, even retelling the ones that Shadow was there for. Shadow listens, and nods every once and a while. He hates to admit that he is enjoying Sonic’s company more than anticipated.
“What else do you do way out here? Besides gardening of course” Sonic asks, gesturing to the secluded cottage and respective garden.
Shadow considers this and replies with “well, I like to read, I guess.”
“Cool” Sonic replies. “What kind of books? I’m already pretty surprised by your cute little home, next thing I know you’re gonna tell me you read fantasy or something.”
Shadow, who was previously making eye contact, glances away. His silence says everything.
“Woah ho ho, was I actually right, Shads?” Sonic asks teasingly. “To be honest I never took you for a fantasy guy.”
Shadow’s blush slightly fades as he stares off into the distance. Almost without hesitation, he says something he can’t take back.
“It was Maria’s favorite.”
He doesn’t know what makes him say it. Maybe it was because regardless of his better judgment, he had let himself get caught in the “what if’s” of Maria’s fate again. Or perhaps it’s the fact that Sonic’s gloves are still sitting in the grass a few feet behind them. Whatever the reason, Shadow regrets it immediately.
Trying to ignore the faint sound of Sonic calling his name and the warmth of Sonic’s hand on his shoulder, Shadow jumps up and mumbles a quick, “you should go,” before walking towards the door to his house.
Shadow slams the door to his cottage, a bit harsher than Sonic had deserved. Not that he deserved any of it.
Shadow ignores Sonic’s knocks and pleads and sinks to the ground, sighing and trying not to do anything else that would make him look weak, even in the privacy of his own home. It doesn’t take long for the knocking to subside, however; and Shadow is alone once more.
———————————
Shadow stays up for Rouge, hoping that she is coming home that night. She seldom stays long, and often returns at odd hours. Always on a mission, always moving. They usually greet each other with respectful nods and short ‘hellos’ and go about their business.
This time Shadow only glares at her when she greets him. She rolls her eyes and mutters,“I’m sorry, he wouldn’t stop bothering me.” She retreats to her bedroom before waiting for a reply.
Shadow scoffs, refusing to give off anything other than anger and pettiness. Deep down though, Shadow is happy that Rouge made it home safely, and even her slight presence did something to take the overbearing weight of solitude off his chest. As much as he hates to admit it, even to himself, he relates to Sonic’s loneliness confession.
Shadow goes to his own bedroom and curls up on his bed, trying to ignore a sinking feeling. He feels himself start to shake a bit and pulls the comforter tighter around him. When that doesn’t help the shaking, he realizes that the problem isn’t the cold. One would think that the ‘Ultimate Lifeform’ would have been created without anxiety.
Shadow tries to control his breathing and find a calmer state of mind. For some reason the first thing that appears is his time with Sonic in the garden. He’ll deal with the ‘why’ of that later, but right now he is too desperate to question it. So he thinks of Sonic in his garden, the way his green eyes admired the flowers, his warm hands on Shadow’s arm, his- Shadow doses off to sleep, calmer than he has been in a long, long time.
———————————
The next time Shadow sees Sonic is not during a fight with Eggman. In fact, they don’t even intend to seek each other out.
“What are you doing here?” Shadow asks in an accusatory tone when running into Sonic in the middle of a forest.
“What, am I not allowed to go on runs?” Sonic quips back, as bright as ever. “Ya know that’s kinda my thing, Shads.”
Shadow huffs, letting out a sound that’s almost a growl. Sonic can see his fangs for just a second and his ear twitches with just the slightest inclination of fear. Or could it have been something else he was feeling?
“Do whatever you want, Faker, just leave me out of it” Shadow says, turning to leave from where he came.
“Aww, but since we’re both here, I was thinking we could race?” Sonic pleads.
Shadow considers this, replying with “fine,” and trying to ignore Sonic’s shock at his pleading having worked so easily.
Knowing that this change in behavior is slightly out of character for him, Shadow immediately takes off to get rid of the blush creeping its way onto his face. Shadow skates between the trees and rocks alone for a few seconds before a blue blur comes up behind him and matches his speed. Shadow knows that Sonic could go faster, and the fact that he isn’t and the curiosity as to why make their way into Shadow's mind.
Shadow tries to speed up even more, nearly bumping into the blue hedgehog in the process. They go for miles, winding through familiar forests and over broad meadows. Shadow pushes himself even further, nearly gasping for air due to all of the energy exertion, reaching near new speeds. Sonic keeps up almost easily, sometimes one would pass the other, but they would often fall back in place next to each other.
Shadow’s legs start to feel numb, but he doesn’t dare stop. That is until he realizes two key issues with the events taking place. One, they never agreed on where the end of the race would be. Two, the hills and forests were starting to look not-so familiar.
Shadow slows slightly but Sonic does not do the same. Shadow tries to catch up again but they’ve gone a bit further than he is used to at these speeds, and he is near ready to collapse.
“Sonic, wait!” Shadow yells in a moment of desperation.
Sonic stops dead in his tracks and Shadow crashes into him, the pair collapsing to the ground with a thud. They lay there under a shady oak tree, Shadow’s head on Sonic’s rapidly moving chest, both parties too exhausted to speak or even move from their unfortunate positions. The air holds nothing but the slight rustle of the wind through the trees and the sound of two panting hedgehogs.
After a few minutes, Shadow gingerly removes himself from on top of Sonic and leans his head on the trunk of the oak tree, closing his eyes for a few seconds before peering back at Sonic, who is now sitting up as well.
“Wow, I guess I was getting tired, but why did you stop us?” Sonic asks, painfully oblivious to the situation.
“I’m not sure where we are, I didn’t want us to get lost even further from home than we already have,” Shadow replies.
Sonic laughs. Even in this situation, he laughs. “Wow it’s been a while since I’ve run this far.”
“So you know where we are then,” Shadow states more than asks.
Sonic looks around confidently, eyes still glistening with excitement. Soon his smile fades though, and he replies, “well, uh- no. I guess not”
Shadow runs his hand through his quills, trying to set the slightly disheveled ones back in their place.
“Can’t you just chaos control us to somewhere we recognize?” Sonic asks.
“I suppose so, but not right now,” replies Shadow. “I’ve used a lot of my energy already, I need to recharge for a little bit.”
Sonic nods. “I guess there’s no harm in exploring some more then” he says with his usual grin.
Shadow just huffs in exhaustion and closes his eyes again. He doesn’t understand how Sonic can stay so positive all the time, does he ever actually get worried?
———————————
Shadow wakes up to Sonic worriedly calling his name. He opens his eyes and huffs in annoyance, his quills scratching the bark of the tree as he shifts.
“Sorry, Shads, you were so still and I wanted to make sure you’re okay.”
“Shut up, hedgehog, I’m just resting,” Shadow grumbles.
“Of course, sorry, I’ll be quiet,” Sonic replies.
Shadow closes his eyes again, too tired to care about being this vulnerable in front of Sonic. When thinking about it, he doesn’t know who else he would trust to sleep in front of. Even in his own bedroom, he always locked his door as an extra layer of protection during such vulnerability.
“Soo, how much more do you need to recharge before you can teleport us.”
Shadow opens one eye and glares at Sonic sitting a few feet in front of him.
“It’s just starting to get dark, that's all,” Sonic explains.
At that, Shadow perks up. “Okay, you’re right, I don’t want to have to spend a night out here.” He rises from the tree and yawns, putting his sharp fangs on full display. He ignores Sonic’s stare, pulling the green emerald out of his quills and trying to focus. “Okay, come here.”
Shadow expects Sonic to put a hand on his shoulder, or perhaps around his waist, but Sonic engulfs Shadow in a full hug, causing the black hedgehog to freeze.
“Y-you know that you don’t have to be that close to me for this to work.” Shadow says in a voice shakier than he would have liked.
“I know,” Sonic says, almost whispering, pushing his face into Shadow’s white chest fur.
Shadow’s face heats up and he nearly loses grip of the chaos emerald. He closes his eyes and tries to control his breathing, thinking about where he wants to go. Probably straight to Sonic’s house would be best, he figures. Shadow can see in the dark, so he would be able to get home easier than Sonic would be with night vision not on his side. Shadow imagines Sonic’s house. Then he just thinks of Sonic, his surprisingly calming scent that is so uniquely him. It reminds Shadow of the lavender in his garden. It’s a vaguely familiar scent. It almost represents Sonic’s knack for exploration, his excitement, his love for the unknown.
Vwoop-
Both hedgehogs take in their new surroundings.
“Uh, Shadow….” Sonic says, arms loosening their grip but still holding on to Shadow. “I don’t recognize these woods either, please tell me you do.”
Shadow tries his hardest to keep his ears forward so as to not allude to his embarrassment. “Uh. No, I don’t.”
Sonic lets go of Shadow and walks a few feet, silently observing the quickly darkening forest. “Oh. Why didn’t we go to the right place?”
Shadow considers his options.
“I don’t know” he lies.
“Okay…” Sonic says, his instincts going crazy. He isn’t sure if this is because he doesn’t fully trust Shadow’s words or because the unfamiliar forest is putting him on edge. “So, what do we do?”
Shadow almost apologizes about teleporting them to the wrong place, but decides against it. Focusing on finding shelter for the night is of more importance. “We should see if we can find shelter, I can try again in the morning,” Shadow mutters. He walks up behind Sonic and hesitates before putting his hand on Sonic’s shoulder. Sonic jumps in surprise before calming down at the sight of Shadow. Sonic usually isn’t this fearful, but Shadow understands that unfamiliar places in complete darkness can’t be a calming experience. “Here, I can see better than you,” Shadow says, reaching for Sonic’s hand and grasping it with his own.
Shadow leads Sonic through the woods, occasionally warning him about obstacles, saying “watch out for that root,” and “there’s a low branch, duck your head.” Eventually Shadow sees a small formation of rocks with a small, shallow cave. It is wider than it is tall, too short for them to walk into while fully standing but big enough of a space for them to comfortably curl up and rest for a little bit.
“This is going to be a little tight, but it’s better than nothing,” Shadow says, leading Sonic to the cave's entrance and letting him feel his way inside. Sonic curls up, muzzle just barely peeking out of the cave and looks at Shadow expectantly. “Uh- I can stay out here if you’d like, I’ve already slept a lot today.” Shadow says just before an unfortunate gust of cold air blows through the trees, making him shiver.
To his relief, Sonic doesn’t notice this. He doesn’t even reply, already dozing off into an uncomfortable sleep. Shadow sits against the outside of the cave, listening for threats but only picking up the calming sound of Sonic’s even breathing. Though he tries to stop himself, Shadow finds his eyes closing again as his breathing slows to match Sonic’s.
Shadow doesn’t sleep for very long and wakes up with a start. He glances around his surroundings. Nothing. He pauses to listen. This time there is something, ragged breathing coming from within the cave. Shadow slowly pokes his head into the cave and sees Sonic, ears fully back and eyes wide. He’s hyperventilating.
Without thinking, Shadow enters the cave and grabs Sonic’s wrist. Sonic squeaks in surprise as an unknown presence touches him in the dark, but soon recognizes Shadow’s scent and complies. To both of their surprise, Shadow is the one to pull them into a hug. “Shh, it’s alright,” he says, one hand finding Sonic’s back and pulling him closer, the other smoothing out Sonic’s quills as he whispers. “We’re safe, Sonic, remember? I’ll get you home in the morning. It will all be okay.”
Sonic isn’t quite crying, no tears are leaving his desperate eyes, but his breathing is irregular and he lets out a quiet whimper every now and then. Shadow is simultaneously surprised and shattered. He’s never seen Sonic in such a fearful state before, and it is extremely discouraging.
Shadow tightens his embrace with Sonic. The blue hedgehog’s face is buried in Shadow’s chest again and Shadow’s muzzle is resting on Sonic’s head, between his still-flattened ears.
Shadow takes slow, even breaths. “You need to slow your breathing, Sonic,” he instructs.
“I- I can’t. I don’t- know why- I” Sonic rambles between gasps of air.
“Shh, don’t speak, try to match my breaths.” Shadow says, a gloved paw petting one of Sonic’s arms in a slow, smooth motion as he slowly breathes in and out. Sonic nods slightly in reply and his breathing slows a bit as he nuzzles into Shadow’s fur. Shadow closes his eyes and focuses on his own chest rising and falling, with the comforting extra weight of Sonic’s head laying on it.
With Sonic calmed down, the two hedgehogs lay together; both silent but still very much awake, just enjoying the warmth of each other. Though his body is still, Shadow’s mind is racing with every thought imaginable. Why has Sonic put so much trust in him? Why has he felt so calm around Sonic? And why is he still holding Sonic like he is the most important thing in the world to him? Maybe it’s because, Shadow admits to himself, he sort of is. Shadow’s face heats up at this revelation, reliving the spars, races, and conversations. Why does Sonic have to be so naturally flirty? It makes it ten times harder for Shadow to ignore his own feelings.
Mustering up as much courage as he has, Shadow finally breaks the silence. “Sonic?” Sonic replies with a questioning hum. “What was that about? Uh- if you don’t mind me asking, that is.”
Sonic pulls away from Shadow and sits up. Shadow tries not to grumble at the loss of contact, but after being so alone for so long, he is touch starved as hell. Sonic’s touch, in any form Shadow can get, just feels so fucking good.
Sonic can almost sense the disappointment. On a hunch, and because he also badly wants it, he reaches an ungloved paw out to Shadow, saying “I just sort of panicked, in my half-asleep state I woke up in an unrecognizable place with not a friend in sight, it also reminded me how lonely I get sometimes.” Shadow stares at Sonic’s hand, still reaching for him. Shadow remembers that Sonic can’t see anything right now, and he is reaching for him. “Thanks for calming me down, Shads, I was sort of spiraling there.” Sonic says, laughing his usual, cheerful laugh. This time it had just the slightest undertone of bitterness, of nights spent alone.
“Well, you’re not alone out here. And I’m your friend, right?” Shadow says, still staring at the blue paw reaching for him, so incredibly tempted to do what he so desperately desires.
Fuck it
Shadow peels off his own gloves and intertwines his fingers with Sonic’s, who gasps at the unexpected feeling of bare hands touching his. “I don’t know about that Shadow.” Sonic chuckles.
Shadow’s heart sinks. Sonic really doesn’t consider him a friend? He swears he’s heard Sonic use that term before. Was that not right? After all of the trust they have shown each other?
“What do you mean?” Shadow asks, voice quivering slightly.
Sonic laughs lightly and rubs his thumb over Shadow’s hand. “Oh Shads, do you really think friends cuddle and hold hands in tight caves together?”
“Oh,” Shadow says, grateful that Sonic is unable to see the deep blush on his cheeks.
Sonic lets go of Shadow’s hand, who almost whines in protest but doesn’t have time to before Sonic runs a paw up each of his arms, reaching his shoulders and then running down his sides, landing on his hips.
With Shadow’s hips as his reference, Sonic scoots right in front of him, their knees touching. Sonic glides his soft paw pads slowly back up to Shadow’s shoulders, then up to his neck, then cupping his face.
“Hey, Shads,” Sonic whispers, one hand on Shadow’s cheek and the other reaching down to run his fingers through the white fur on Shadow’s chest.
“Hey,” Shadow breathes back, starting to tremble slightly.
Shadow sees Sonic lean forward, his nose grazing Shadow’s. “Can I?” Sonic asks softly, hot breath further warming flustered faces.
Shadow glances at Sonic’s lips.
”You may.”
And though Sonic was the one to ask, Shadow is who connects their lips. Both hedgehogs basically melt at the gentle and foreign contact. They move in sync and Shadow leans into Sonic’s touches, also Initiating some of his own, black and red paws messing up blue quills.
Shadow pushes lightly on Sonic’s chest, not once daring to break apart their lips. Sonic knows what he wants and complies, laying down to let the Black hedgehog climb on top of him, shivering as his blue quills flatten against the cold rock of the cavern floor.
Now with leverage, Shadow deepens their kiss, but yelps in surprise as Sonic bites his bottom lip, his tongue gaining entrance into Shadow’s mouth.
The pair continue their heated session, emitting low growls of desire as their passionate kiss goes on.
Sonic is the first to pull away, panting. Shadow whines and gives Sonic another, quicker kiss. Sonic turns his head away, saying in between heavy breaths, “I need- a second- Shads, unlike you I sort of- have to keep breathing- to live.”
“Right,” Shadow says, apologetically, opting to give Sonic some time and instead peppering kisses up and down his exposed neck and collar bone.
All of a sudden, Shadow is startled by a soft clicking noise that seemed to shake his whole body. Two sets of ears perk up at the sound, but the hedgehogs react in very different ways. Shadow stiffens and glances around, searching for the threat. Sonic, on the other hand, laughs.
“Wow Shads, I’ve never heard you do that before, I wasn’t sure you could purr.”
“Is that what that was?” Shadow asks, still on high alert. Sonic cards through Shadow’s quills in a soothing motion and he relaxes a bit. “I was not aware I could do that either.”
Sonic grabs Shadow’s hands and rests their foreheads together, closing his eyes. In sync with the calming strokes of Sonic’s thumbs on Shadow’s wrists, his own purr starts up. A few seconds later, Shadow’s follows. The two sounds join together in the air, slow clicks combined in such a way they almost sound like a metronome.
“Damn it, I really wish I could see you right now.” Sonic whispers, giving Shadow a kiss on the cheek.
Slowly, both hedgehogs lay down, embracing each other as the warmth and comforting sound of their purrs drift them off to sleep.
———————————
“Okay, try to focus more this time.” Sonic says, standing outside of the cave, arms tightly wrapped around Shadow’s back.
“Don’t worry, I’ll get you home this time, I promise.” Shadow says. He finds the chaos emerald within his quills and examines it in his hand. “Chaos co-“
“Wait,” Sonic says suddenly. Shadow tilts his head, surprisingly gentle red eyes meeting green ones. “Can we actually go back to your place?”
Shadow pauses briefly. The possibility of Rouge being at home tonight is about 50/50. At first he isn’t sure if he wants to take that chance, but under the gaze of a certain annoyingly adorable blue hedgehog, he gives in. Shadow nods lightly, “alright.”
Shadow just barely glimpses Sonic’s wide grin before they blip into Shadow’s kitchen. Shadow turns and opens a cabinet, taking out two glasses. “Would you like something to drink?” He asks.
“Oh uh, yeah, water would be great,” Sonic replies, not letting go of Shadow even as he fills the cups from the sink next to them.
Sonic takes one of the cups of water and downs the majority of it in long, desperate gulps. Shadow takes a few sips of his water and hands his glass to Sonic. “Here, Sonic, you seem thirsty.”
Sonic smirks, “indeed I am,” he jokes, but still eagerly takes the water from the darker hedgehog. Shadow’s ears fold in and he blushes slightly.
“Alright then,” Shadow says after a long but surprisingly comfortable silence. “So what do we do?”
“Like, right now, or about this, uh- relationship?” Sonic asks, his slight smile never faltering.
“Oh, uh-“ Shadow averts his gaze and gently wiggles himself out of Sonic’s grip. He turns and makes his way to the living room, Sonic worriedly following suit. He approaches the couch but doesn’t sit on it, instead using it as a backrest and sitting on the floor, holding his knees to his chest.
Sonic approaches Shadow and sits on the floor next to him. He lightly touches Shadow’s shoulder, testing his reaction. When Shadow continues to stare at the wall, emotionless, Sonic strokes the quills on his back a few times.
“We don’t have to talk about it, Shads, it’s up to you.” Sonic says gently.
“It’s just. I don’t. I’m not quite sure what you want out of this. A-and I don’t know if I can handle it if you decide you don’t want me.” Shadow says quietly, his voice breaking.
“Shadow!” Sonic exclaims, voicing a quick apology as Shadow winces at the unexpected sound. Sonic takes a deep breath before rambling, “You’re all I think about. When I’m with you I finally don’t feel alone. Just your presence provides me with so much comfort and happiness. I know you need a lot of practice opening up to people, but I’m willing to help with that because I love you.” Both hedgehogs’ ears twitch in surprise at this, but Sonic isn’t done. “You’re adorable and thoughtful and I want to be with you. Please, Shadow, I- I don’t know what I’d do without you. I’ve let down my walls. Please tell me, love, will you do the same?”
Eyes burning, both from staring so intently at the wall as well as from the tears that threatened to make an appearance, Shadow swallows. He closes his eyes and breathes a shaky breath, unfortunately those movements provoke the tears to start falling.
Eyes still closed, Shadow feels a warm hand on his cheek, wiping it dry. He finally gathers the courage to open his eyes. Blinking away the blur, he turns to face Sonic at last.
“Okay” Shadow says, voice hoarse from trying so hard not to cry (and failing). “I’ll do the same.”
Sonic smiles and gives Shadow a gentle peck on the lips. Though it had been less than 24 hours since they had last kissed, Shadow marveled at how good Sonic’s lips felt on his own. He never wanted it to end.
———————————
Shadow thinks back to the last few hours. They had sat there, on the floor of his living room, for nearly an hour after officially deciding to be together, his head in Sonic’s lap, ears being stroked and scratched. Shadow had eventually made them lunch, which Sonic was much appreciative about, before they took a walk in his garden.
Now he is showing Sonic his room. His instincts keep telling him to kick Sonic out and run far away or lock himself in his room, but he resists every urge to do so. For Sonic, for himself.
“Wow, looks like a nice bed.” Sonic says, way too impressed by Shadow’s average queen size bed. “I hope I’ll get to sleep in it one day.”
“Oh, I was hoping that ‘one day’ would be today,” Shadow says, with just a hint of humor in his voice.
Sonic’s eyes light up, “really?! I can sleep over? You’re not too annoyed at me yet, Faker?” Sonic jokes.
“Keep that up and I might just change my mind..” Shadow says with a serious tone and eyes full of laughter.
Sonic laughs, “okay, okay, I won’t test my luck.”
Sonic moseys around Shadow’s room, looking back at Shadow for permission before touching any one of his belongings. He comes across a small, black bookcase, in the corner of his room. It contains a good amount of books, mostly fantasy, Sonic notes, remembering their discussion in the garden days prior. The bookshelf also holds a few, pristine records. Two are rock music, and one is a collection of classical music.
“All we really had on the ARK was classical,” Shadow says behind Sonic, making him jump. “Maria loved to dance, though she was sick and so we usually stuck to the slower songs.”
“Will you play some of it for me?” Sonic asks. Shadow considers the idea. He hasn’t played Maria’s music in years, usually it ends with a lot of vulnerability and tears that he hates succumbing to. But dear Chaos, Shadow doesn't think he’ll ever be able to say no to those damn green eyes again.
“Alright,” Shadow says, slowly picking up the classical album and removing the record from its sleeve.
As Shadow sets up his record player, Sonic finds a seat on Shadow’s bed. As the music starts to play, Shadow joins Sonic on the bed. Sonic grasps hands with Shadow and leans his head on the darker hedgehogs’s shoulder. He lets the music take a hold of him, grateful that Shadow was trusting him with this.
“What song is this?” Sonic asks, lifting his head to give Shadow a surprise peck on the lips.
“Mmph- it’s uh- Minuet in A major…D. 334 or something..” Shadow mutters, a bit distracted due to Sonic’s slue of kisses to his jawline as he speaks.
Sonic then gets up from the bed and Shadow looks at him curiously. Sonic extends his hand out to Shadow, almost like when he reached for him so desperately in that cave.
“Will you dance with me?” Sonic asks, a deep blush very apparent on his cheeks.
“Okay,” Shadow says, grabbing Sonic’s hand without a second thought.
Neither truly knows how to dance, but they try. Sonic has his arms around Shadow’s neck, paws finding themselves deep within his partner’s quills, feeling the short, soft fur beneath. Shadow has his paws wrapped around Sonic’s waist.
Starting out trying some actual steps, the two stumble a bit and Sonic almost falls at one point. Shadow laughs at him, not a demeaning one, but one of fun, of happiness, of letting go.
Sonic chuckles and blushes, both in embarrassment and in the glee of knowing that he was able to make Shadow laugh. Only on occasion has he heard Shadow do such a thing, and never before as true and beautiful as this.
As the soft piano progresses, Sonic and Shadow hold each other even closer, heads resting on shoulders, forearms positioned between quills, swaying. Just barely, back and forth they sway to the gentle music.
“Sonic?” Shadow asks as they embrace, voice slightly muffled from his face being buried in Sonic’s neck.
“Yeah, love?” Sonic almost whispers, not ready for the moment to end.
Shadow reluctantly removes his head from Sonic’s shoulder to face him. When red meets green, he brings his lips to Sonic’s one last time before saying:
“I love you too.”