Chapter Text
They were both absolutely shitfaced.
Following a hard day at the hospital, during which he’d lost a terminal patient, Doctor Daniel Cain wanted nothing more than several stiff drinks. But he hadn’t expected Herbert to join him. Dan didn’t think he’d ever seen Herbert West drink so heavily, if he drank at all. His normally sallow face was bright red. But aside from the slurred language and clumsy mannerisms, he somehow maintained that emotionally restricted air of his.
They’d been discussing potential next phases of experimenting with the reagent. Cain had mostly been letting West ramble, enjoying the numbing distraction the conversation and alcohol created.
“Daniel,” Herbert said after another sip of bourbon.
“Yeah?”
“Have you ever thought about,” he paused, furrowing his brow. “Thought about…damn. It’s gone.”
Dan snorted, sipping his drink.
“Ah yes. Have you ever thought about us having a child?”
Were Daniel not so drunk, he likely would have choked on his booze. He considered this, and finally laughed. “We have a child. She’s six feet tall, made of dead body parts, and lives in the back room. The fuck are you even talking about, Herb?”
West pursed his lips and looked away, rubbing a palm across his mouth. “Just something,” he shrugged languidly, “I dunno. Crossed my mind.”
Dan, drunk as he was, still looked at Herbert like he’d said he wanted a second head. “Don’t…don’t take this the wrong way, Herb,” he blinked slowly, “but you’ve never struck me as the parental type.”
Herbert ignored this. “You had discussions with Meg. About wanting kids someday. Desiring to be a father.”
“Why am I not even surprised you eavesdropped on our private conversations?”
“Regardless, I can’t help but think our lifestyle is impeding your want for offspring. And I have noticed how you look at nuclear families that pass through the hospital. The children, specifically.”
“I am…far too drunk for this topic,” he said, taking another swig of his drink to prove it.
“I want you to have what you want, Daniel. If a family is something you still want.”
This was new. Since when did Herbert ever care about Dan’s wants? He decided not to open that can of worms; they’d surely start fighting, and ruin what had been thus far a fairly pleasant evening.
Instead, he said, “Fine, I’ll humor you. Pray tell, how would we even acquire said child?”
“We could make one. Like we did with Elsa. Just with…smaller pieces.”
Dan gave him a disgusted look, “I am not going to defile the grave of any child.”
“Merely a thought. Your reservations aside, that would likely be quite difficult to do. Their corpses are far more carefully guarded. One would notice if the ground was disturbed or if a body went missing from the morgue. And with separation of the children’s hospital down the street from Miskatonic-”
Herbert noticed the sickened expression on his partner’s face, and decided to change tactics.
“Well, loathe as I am to admit it, reanimation may be out of the question for this particular endeavor.”
“Then what if we got a surrogate or something? Money clearly isn’t an issue; we hardly spend anything we make as it is.”
West opened his mouth, then closed it again, hesitating. “How would we explain…us?”
“We’re…work colleagues,” Dan smirked, “who happen to live together.”
“And wish to rear a child?” Herbert raised an eyebrow.
“For a certain amount of money, a surrogate might ignore whatever we ask her to,” Dan reasoned, then blinked rapidly. “Why are we even talking about this?”
“It could be our next experiment. We don’t necessarily need an outside woman in order to have a child.”
Dan scowled. “I refuse to put Elsa through that!”
“Elsa isn’t the only person in this house with the capability to carry a baby.”
Dan’s eyes widened, and he scoffed, “You really are drunk. Besides, aren’t your parts…decommissioned, or whatever?”
“Hormones would need to be discontinued for a time, but,” Herbert looked away, “it wouldn’t be an impossibility.”
Cain looked flabbergasted. “You’re serious? ‘Cause, Herb, this is a big deal. I mean, making Elsa was one thing, but a baby ? Would you even be comfortable putting your body through that?”
West set his jaw, still not looking at Dan. He scratched the back of his neck. “I’ve been thinking this over for some time.”
In hindsight, Dan realized he shouldn’t have humored Herbert. But they were both incredibly wasted, Dan was sure the idea would die at the conversation stage. West would never put his own body on the line for something like this.
So at this, Daniel drained the rest of his glass. “Alright, if you think you can handle it, knock yourself up…um, ‘out.’ Be my guest.”
By the next morning, Daniel had completely forgotten their conversation.
Until it was too late.