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“Jennie-yah,” Lisa calls, lightly jostling her roommate’s shoulder. “Time to wake up, babe.”
Jennie stirs just enough to take hold of Lisa’s hand and cuddle it to her chest, but she doesn’t open her eyes or show any other sign that she’s alive.
“You’re going to be late for class,” Lisa says. In the past eight months that she’s been Jennie’s roommate, she has also become Jennie’s personal alarm clock, and calendar, and sugar mama. And she takes her responsibilities very seriously. “You have an exam next week, remember? You have to attend the full lecture if you want to pass.”
Jennie cracks one eye open, then turns onto her back and reaches her arms out. “Cuddle me.”
“We don’t have time,” Lisa says, ignoring the butterflies that erupt in her tummy, because she’s also become Jennie’s personal pillow and blanket and plushie, and maybe that’s not normal for roommates. But she doesn’t like to think about it. “I went and got you breakfast.”
Jennie lets her arms drop. “Kimchi friend rice?”
Lisa holds the box up, but when Jennie tries to snatch it she pulls it away. “You have to get ready first.”
Jennie pouts at her, but kimchi fried rice is her weakness and she pulls herself out of bed with the breakfast as motivation. “Thank you,” she mumbles, rubbing at her eyes sleepily. “For the food.”
Jennie is an absolute demon in the mornings, to everyone but Lisa, and though Lisa should be used to it by now, it still makes her melt a little. “You’re welcome. Now, get up, you have twenty minutes to be dressed and on the other side of campus.”
Jennie looks down at herself. “Can’t I wear this?”
She’s wearing sweats and a t-shirt, both wrinkled from sleep, but even in pajamas she’s the most gorgeous person Lisa has ever met, so she nods. “Sure. Wear what you want.” She stands. “Bring a sweater, though. Yoo’s room is freezing this time of year.”
So Jennie brushes her teeth and puts her hair up into a bun, and then they’re off, Lisa talking to Jennie about how her morning has gone so far and Jennie listening while she wolfs down her breakfast, occasionally feeding Lisa in between sentences.
They get to Jennie’s lecture hall with two minutes to spare. Lisa honestly doesn’t know what Jennie would do without her.
“Thanks for waking me up,” Jennie says, tossing her empty food box in a nearby trash can. “And for bringing me breakfast.” She takes hold of Lisa’s hand, playing with her fingers. “And for walking me to class.”
Lisa wants to tell her that she does all of this because they’re best friends and she loves to help Jennie out and all that crap, but instead she says, “You’re welcome, jagi,” just like she does every morning.
“I’ll see you after class, okay?” Jennie looks up at her through her lashes. “You’re working the afternoon shift, right?”
“Yeah,” Lisa says, trying not to overthink the fact that Jennie has memorized her schedule because they’ve been living together for nearly a year, of course they’ll eventually memorize each other’s daily routines, and it’s really not a big deal. But it still makes her feel a bit gooey inside. “Let me know when class gets out, okay? And walk safely this time. Don’t look at your phone while you’re crossing the road.”
Jennie smiles sheepishly, tugging on her hand. “I won’t. That was one time.”
“It doesn’t matter if it was only one time, it almost gave me a heart attack.” She had nightmares for a week after the ‘incident’, in which she wasn’t able to pull Jennie out of the way in time, and the speeding car didn’t screech to a halt last-minute, and her heart rate spiked more times in that one week than it ever has in her life. (She didn’t let Jennie out of her sight for a long time after the nightmares stopped.)
“I’ll be safe.” More students start to arrive and enter the classroom, so Jennie reluctantly pulls Lisa into a hug. “Don’t worry about me.” She rubs Lisa’s back, then pulls away, smiling softly at her for a moment before she gasps a little oh! and reaches into her bag, pulling out a water and energy bar. “Have these. I will literally force feed you if you haven’t at least eaten the bar by the time I come see you. Okay?”
“Okay.” Lisa takes the water and the energy bar, then pats Jennie’s butt. “Go to class. And pay attention.”
“I’ll try.” Jennie kisses her cheek and gives her one last long look, eyes as sad as if it’ll be years rather than hours before they see each other again, then turns on her heel and enters the lecture hall.
Lisa watches her as she joins the people she knows, two girls and a guy, and sits, pulling out her extensive notes, smiling at something someone says.
Just as Lisa’s convincing herself to walk away, because being late for work would make her a huge hypocrite, someone thumps her on the shoulder and says, “Hey, Manoban.”
Lisa looks at the guy, pauses as she tries to place a name to his familiar face, then smiles and says, “Oh, hi, Mino. How’ve you been?”
Mino was one of her friends back in high school, but he’s a year older than her so she hasn’t seen much of him this year. It’s been months since they last saw each other.
“Not as good as you, apparently.” He smiles teasingly. “I see you’re finally getting bitches.”
Lisa frowns, confused. “Huh?”
“Kim.” Mino nods toward the lecture hall. “How’d that happen? She’s been way out of your league since, like, middle school.”
When she gets what he’s implying, her face heats up. “Jennie and I aren’t dating, we’re just roommates. Where’d you get that idea?”
Mino pauses. “I’ve sort of been lurking for the past five minutes or so.” Now he seems confused. “You two looked like a couple. I dunno.” He pats her on the shoulder. “My bad, I guess. Hey, I’ve got to get to class, but you’re still working at that cafe down the street, right? I’ll come see you.”
Lisa nods a bit dazedly, and he walks away, completely unaware of the affect of his words.
She and Jennie have been mistaken as a couple a few times before, but never by someone who actually knows either of them, and never in a normal setting like on campus.
She wonders, not for the first time, if how they act and how they look at each other and how they touch is maybe different than would be considered friendly, but, no, it can’t be. They’re close, that’s all.
Still, even as she makes her way to work, she can’t stop thinking about what Mino said.
And she can’t not think about the fact that she doesn’t hate it when she and Jennie get mistaken as a couple, either.
/////
The university library is enormous.
It’s got three stories, with stairs up to balconies and ladders up to the higher shelves, lining the entire circumference. There are isles upon isles of bookshelves taking up two large spaces, and the rest of the room is filled with desks and tables and computers.
All of these obstacles and books (so many damn books) makes it nearly impossible to find anybody, especially if the person you’re trying to find is a five-foot-three girl with a habit of wandering off.
“Jennie,” Lisa murmurs when she reaches the Marine Bio section, which is where Jennie said she’d be. To no one’s surprise, she’s nowhere in sight. “Jennie?”
Lisa walks down the aisles, glancing inside each before moving to the next, calling Jennie’s name as she goes.
Of course, she finds Jennie sat with the poetry. She’s sitting criss-cross with a pile of collections next to her and one open in her lap. She’s chewing on a pen and she doesn’t even notice that her glasses are sliding down her nose. She’s fully immersed.
Lisa creeps up on her, then kneels beside her. Jennie doesn’t even look up.
“Jen,” Lisa whispers, and Jennie startles before looking at Lisa. A wide grin spreads across her face when she sees her.
“Hi,” she whispers back, patting the space next to her. “Sorry. I got distracted.”
“It’s okay.” Lisa sets her book bag on the floor, then sits next to Jennie, sidling close to her. “How’d your exam go today?”
Jennie shrugs. “I think it went fine. I don’t know, though.”
Jennie tends to underestimate herself. If she ‘doesn’t know’ how a test went, that usually means she's excelled at it. Lisa wraps an arm around her shoulders. “You studied really hard. I’m sure you did good.”
“Mm.” Jennie curls into her side, folding her legs to lean against Lisa’s, pressing her head against Lisa’s chest. “Want to read with me?”
Lisa hesitates, because that’s a very tempting offer, but, “I have a project to work on…” she trails off.
“Oh, come on. It’s late, it’s Friday.” Jennie leans her head back to give Lisa the most convincing puppy eyes she’s ever seen. “We have all weekend, jagi. Just,” she presses her cheek to Lisa’s shoulder, “be with me, here? Just for a while.”
How can Lisa say no to that? She’s always weak for Jennie, but when she pulls out lines like that, Lisa’s practically jello. “Okay, okay. Only if you read to me. I’m tired.”
Lisa’s never been huge on poetry—it’s always really confusing and way too metaphorical—but the collection that Jennie’s holding is Milk and Honey by Rupi Kaur and Lisa is admittedly a slut for Rupi Kaur.
(She’ll never admit that this used to be Jennie’s favorite collection, back when they were just getting to know each other, and the first thing Lisa did when she found out was read the entire thing in one go. She saw Jennie in it—rawness and a lot of hurt that Lisa would come to find more of later—and she fell in love.
With the poems. Of course.)
Jennie flips back to the first page and she starts reading, softly so they don’t get into trouble, and Lisa tries to pay attention to the poems but she keeps getting distracted by Jennie’s voice and Jennie’s weight against her.
As usual, Jennie lulls her to sleep. She’s in an uncomfortable position with her head against the bookshelves, but she rests her chin on Jennie’s head and almost immediately drifts off.
When she wakes up, it’s to the soft sounds of chatter—she recognizes Jennie’s voice right away, but she has to open her eyes to see the other person. It’s Jeon Somi, from her chemistry course. She and Jennie are sort-of-friends, but Lisa hasn’t really talked to her since last semester. She feels awkward and insecure, knowing she probably looks super unattractive with her head leaned back and her mouth slightly open. She also feels vulnerable with Jennie still snuggled against her, possibly even closer than she was before.
Lisa considers closing her eyes and pretending to be asleep, but Somi spots her. “Oh, hey, Lisa.”
Jennie looks over at her. “Did you have a nice nap, sleeping beauty?”
Lisa laughs it off, running a hand through her hair. “What time is it?”
“Around ten,” Somi answers. “You two should get back to the dorms.”
Jennie crawls out of Lisa’s lap and sits up, stretching. “I need to use the restroom. Wait for me, babe?”
Lisa nods and waits for Jennie to walk out of sight to start collecting their things. Somi places one of the collections from the stack on its bookshelf and says, offhandedly, “God, I’m so glad Jennie’s moved on from Jiyoung.”
Lisa frowns, confused by the random topic of conversation, and also peeved because she never likes to hear about Kwon Jiyoung, Jennie’s ex from the beginning of the year. “Um, yeah.”
“She’s definitely upgraded, that’s for sure,” Somi continues casually, organizing books on shelves. “You’re like a Significant Other God compared to that scumbag.”
It’s then that Lisa understands, and she clears her throat, left with the awkward task of telling somebody that she and Jennie are not, in fact, dating—for the second time this week. “We’re not a couple, actually.”
She feels Somi side-eye her. “Really?”
“Yep.”
“Are you guys, like…talking?”
“No. We’re just friends.” Lisa offers a tight-lipped smile. “Close friends.”
The words feel clumsy and awkward coming out of her mouth, as if she’s lying about it, but she isn’t. That’s all she and Jennie are—friends. Really.
Somi looks like she wants to say more—she’s obviously not as easy to convince as Mino—but Jennie reappears right on time. “You guys ready to go?”
Lisa stands up and hands Jennie her bag, grateful for the end of the conversation. “Yeah. I packed up your things.”
“Gomawo,” Jennie says, and puts a hand on her ribcage, and before Lisa can react, leans up to kiss the curve of her jaw.
Lisa usually wouldn’t think twice about the show of affection, but now she’s acutely aware of it due to Somi’s previous words in her mind and Somi’s eyes watching them closely.
Jennie takes her hand and they start walking. Lisa tries not to, but she glances at Somi, who raises an eyebrow at her as if to say, Not a couple, huh?
And Lisa has to admit, the hand burning in hers right now makes her doubt it, too.
/////
“This is cute, right?” Jennie holds up a blue sweater vest for Lisa to see. “Or will it make me look green?”
Lisa presses the top to Jennie’s skin and inspects. “Nope. You don’t look green.”
“Okay, nice.” Jennie hands it to Lisa and then searches another rack before pulling down a yellow sundress. “But I also want this. Which one should I get?”
Lisa takes the dress, too. “I’ll buy one for you.”
Jennie smiles. “But you already bought me breakfast.”
“I know. And I’ll buy this, too. I want to see you in this dress.” That’s definitely not a lie—the dress is short, probably mid-thigh, and Lisa can only imagine looking at her sun-tanned legs this summer. “It’s pretty.”
“Thanks. You’re the best.”
Lisa comes from a wealthy family, and that’s a privilege that Jennie doesn’t have. As long as it doesn’t make Jennie uncomfortable, she’ll continue to share it whenever she can.
“No, you,” she replies. She leans down to kiss Jennie’s cheek, but Jennie turns her head to say something at the same time, and Lisa ends up kissing her almost directly on the mouth. It’s barely a brush of their lips, but she still pulls back as if she’s been burned.
She looks away, eyes wide. “Sorry. I didn’t—mean to do that. I meant to kiss your cheek.”
“That’s okay,” Jennie says, sounding surprisingly nonchalant. “I don’t mind.” Lisa doesn’t reply, too busy fantasizing about how she’s going to bury herself alive later today, and Jennie chuckles, cupping Lisa’s cheek to make her look at her. “Lisa, I really don’t mind. I swear.”
Then, she does something Lisa would never, ever have expected her to do. She leans up and kisses her, squarely on the mouth, on purpose.
It’s just a peck, but it’s a real peck. And Jennie has always sort of been able to catch Lisa off guard whenever she least expects it, but a kiss? That’s crazy, even for her.
(Not that Lisa hated it. No, she definitely didn’t hate it.)
“See?” Jennie says, patting her cheek and then turning away as if nothing happened. “Don’t mind at all.”
“Yeah,” Lisa says a bit dazedly. “Um, okay. So, the dress? I’ll buy it?”
“If you insist,” Jennie teases. “You can go ahead to the register if you’re done. I think I’ll keep looking for a few more minutes.”
“Okay.” Lisa gets out of there as fast she can, practically running out of Jennie’s vicinity. She was starting to lose breath standing near to her after quite literally kissing her, twice, and it’s a relief to be away for a few minutes.
“Will this be all for you today?” the girl at the register asks, scanning the two items Lisa’s buying for herself and the dress that she’s buying for Jennie.
“Yep.”
“Do you or your girlfriend have rewards with us?”
Lisa pales, but she doesn’t bother correcting her. “Um, no. Actually, she might. She’s paying separately, though.”
“Alrighty. It’s going to ask you if you’d like to sign up for a donation center, you can just go ahead and press the red button.”
Lisa does as she’s told, working completely mechanically because she doesn’t know how to function after kissing Jennie and then being mistaken for her girlfriend.
“Nice of you to buy something for your girlfriend. Is it her birthday?” the girl asks. She’s obviously just trying to make small talk. She must not notice Lisa’s erratic breathing.
It’s too late to correct her now, so she has no choice but to roll with it. “Um, no. Just thought I’d get it for her.”
“Well, that’s extra nice, then.” The girl bags Lisa’s things and gives her a smile. “Have a good day.”
“Thanks, you too.” Lisa glances back to make sure Jennie hasn’t been eavesdropping, and lets out a breath of relief when she sees that she’s moved even farther back in the store.
“Hey,” Lisa says once she reaches her. She eyes Jennie’s armful of clothes. “Should I cut you off now?”
Jennie bites her lip guiltily. “Yeah. Maybe you should.”
“Shopaholic,” Lisa mutters, putting an arm around her shoulders and ignoring her quickly beating heart. “Come on, babe. Let’s go get some lunch.”
/////
“Snake eyes!” Lisa whoops. “Straight to jail, bitch.”
Jisoo groans but moves her piece—the car, as usual—to the designated jail space. The square of shame. “Fuck you.”
“What? I’m not the one who rolled the dice.” Lisa smiles smugly. “Now sit back and watch me win, baby.”
She, Jisoo, Jennie, Chaeyoung 1 and Chaeyoung 2, and Nayeon have been playing Monopoly for the past six hours straight, with only occasional pee and snack breaks. Chaeyoung 2—otherwise known as Short Chaeyoung—is the only person in the room other than Jisoo and Lisa that’s still awake. Everyone else basically fell asleep the second they fell into debt in the game.
Jisoo and Lisa are the only two left standing. And Jisoo may be smart and tactical, but she’s spent the last four turns giving up property in order to stay out of bankruptcy and now she’s in jail. It’s an easy win on Lisa’s part.
Or, at least, it should be. Just as she’s about to buy Jisoo’s best property, Jennie shifts her head in Lisa’s lap and mumbles something.
Lisa looks down. “What, babe?”
Jennie buries her face in Lisa’s stomach, then sits up and groans. “I feel like crap.”
Chaeyoung 2 snorts. “Probably because you drank your weight in cheap alcohol a few hours ago.”
Lisa shoots her a glare and rubs Jennie’s back. “Are you okay? Want to lay down?”
Jennie looks at Lisa’s bed—taken by Tall Chaeyoung’s long legs—then at her own bed—taken by Nayeon’s loud snoring and flailing limbs—then looks pointedly at Lisa.
Okay, so maybe a six-person sleepover in a two-person dorm isn’t always the best idea, but they’ve done it before and it usually works out. “Kick Rosie onto the floor.”
“Or Nayeon,” Chaeyoung 2 offers. “She never has to sleep on the floor.”
“That’s because Nayeon has a bad leg. We’re bitchy, but we’re not that bitchy.” Lisa wiggles her eyebrows. “Admit it. You just want to snuggle with Rosie alllll night.”
Jisoo shoves a horrified Chaeyoung, as if she were the one who made the suggestion. “That’s my girlfriend, asshat.”
“I never—I don’t know why Lisa would say that! I don’t have feelings for her anymore.”
Chaeyoung 1 and Chaeyoung 2 are exes, as of last summer. Lisa finds it fun to mess with them about it, even though she, too, is one of Tall Chaeyoung’s exes.
(Tall Chaeyoung moves through girls faster than you can say ‘gay’.)
But Rosie and Jisoo have been dating since the beginning of the year, and this is the longest she has dated someone without dumping them like a bag of shit, so Lisa has hope for them.
“Lisa,” Jennie whines, pouting at her.
Lisa snaps her attention back to where it should be (back to where it always ends up) and pulls Jennie into her lap. “Just sit here, baby. We’ll sleep in my bed after the game, okay? It’s almost over.” She makes sure Jennie is comfortable, curled up against her chest, before shaking the dice. “I just have to beat the shit out of your best friend here, and then we can go to sleep.”
Jennie chuckles sleepily, and Lisa kisses her head before rolling.
Of course, she wins. She uses her turn to ‘gamble’ with Jisoo, but it’s basically a con and Jisoo takes too late to notice that she’s just sold everything she has and there are no properties left, so the money she got out of it is pointless. There’s nothing to buy.
Lisa cheers, and expects Jisoo to cuss her out or mope off, but she’s just staring at Lisa with a curious look in her eyes.
“Okay. Good job, Lis.” Chaeyoung 2 yawns, getting up and scratching her ass as she makes her way to Jennie’s bed. She shoves Nayeon practically into the wall and lays down on all the space she doesn’t really need. “Night, losers.”
“Kick your girlfriend out of my bed,” Lisa tells Jisoo, who’s still looking at her strangely. “You two take the floor this time.”
“Sure,” Jisoo mutters, getting up without any complaint, which is weird. She hauls Rosie out of bed and sets her as gently as possible on the ground, taking a pillow and extra blanket from Lisa’s bed.
“Jennie,” Lisa whispers, jostling her roommate. “Let’s go to bed, jagiya.”
Jennie doesn’t need to be asked twice, and once they get in bed—Jennie pressed to the wall, Lisa with an arm hanging off the side, just like always—Jennie curls herself around Lisa’s back and falls right asleep. Lisa closes her eyes, but she can’t sleep when she knows that Jisoo is still staring at her, so she says, “What’s up with you?”
“I think the real question,” Jisoo replies, “is what’s up with you?”
“Umm.” Lisa backs up a little further into Jennie, mainly to get away from Jisoo’s weirdly cryptic question. “I don’t know?”
“When were you going to tell me?”
Is Lisa missing something here? “Tell you what?”
“That you and Jennie are dating.” Jisoo reaches up to high-five Lisa’s limp arm. “Because, finally.”
Lisa sighs, glad that the room is dark so no one can see her blush. “We’re not dating, Jisoo. We’re just friends.”
“You were using pet names on each other all night.”
“We always use pet names.”
“You were both super clingy.”
“That happens when we have some alcohol.”
Jisoo’s brown eyes bore into her. “You kissed her, Lisa. On the lips.”
Lisa clamps her mouth shut. She had been hoping no one noticed.
Ever since the incident at the mall, they’ve sort of taken to…kissing each other. It started out as a sort of inside joke, but now it’s a normal occurrence. It’s never anything more than a peck, and they only do it sometimes. Like, today, for example—Jennie had gotten up and brought Lisa another beer without being asked, and Lisa had given her a little ‘thank you’ kiss without really thinking about it. It’s just become a normal…friend thing.
“We’re just friends,” Lisa repeats, voice low. “That’s it.”
“Are you sure, Lisa?”
Is Lisa sure? Lately, no, she’s not. They’ve been sleeping in the same bed, going out together a lot more, giving ‘hello’ and ‘goodbye’ and ‘thank you’ kisses.
But…they’re just really close friends, right?
She can’t think of anything to say in reply. So instead she says, “Piss off. Go to sleep.”
Luckily, Jisoo goes quiet after that, and Lisa tries to get some sleep.
It’s easier said than done.
/////
Lisa doesn’t notice it when a coffee cup is placed before her, too caught up in her stupid laptop and stupid essay to be aware of anything else. She doesn’t notice it when someone picks up one of her reference books, either. She only notices she has company when a pair of arms wrap around her from behind, when lips kiss her temple, when dark hair that isn’t her’s sways in her vision.
Jennie.
“Hey, stranger,” she mutters, holding tight to Lisa. “I haven’t seen you all day. Where’ve you been?”
“Here,” Lisa says. “Working, studying.”
Jennie rubs Lisa’s arm with her thumb in slow, soothing circles. “Didn’t your shift end half an hour ago? You should come home, baby.”
“My first shift ended. I’m covering for Soojin.” Lisa breathes deeply at the feeling of Jennie’s body so close to hers, relaxing for the first time all week. “Her sister went into labor last night.”
“That’s nice of you,” Jennie says slowly, like she’s trying to find the right thing to say. “It’s just…don’t you think you should take a break? You’ve barely been around all week.”
“I’m fine.” Lisa doesn’t know if she truly is fine, or if she’s just saying that because she doesn’t like it when Jennie worries.
(It’s definitely the latter.)
“Well.” Jennie lets go of Lisa, and for a moment Lisa thinks she’s made her mad, but Jennie just plops down in the seat across the table and reaches her hand out, palm-up. Lisa instinctually takes it. “How long do you have until your next shift?”
“An hour,” Lisa replies. “I was planning on staying here to study. They have free wifi, bottomless espressos. It’s kind of nice.”
“Sounds like it.” But Jennie doesn’t actually sound very convinced. “How about we go study at the park?”
“I like it here.”
“Lisa.” Jennie lets out an exasperated sigh, but she’s stroking Lisa’s knuckles with her thumb so Lisa knows she’s not really annoyed. Yet. “When was the last time you, I don’t know, saw the sun? Sat in some grass?”
“It’s been rainy,” Lisa says. “The grass has been wet. Of course I’m not going to sit in it.”
The beginnings of a smile take place on Jennie’s face, glad for the teasing. “It’s not rainy today. Therefore, the grass isn’t wet. Therefore, we should go sit in it. Together.”
Lisa wants to make fun of Jennie for saying shit like ‘therefore’, but a loud voice booms at her from across the cafe before she can open her mouth.
They both look over and find Lisa’s boss, Irene, leaning over the counter, giving her a stern look. “It’s a slow day, Manoban. We don’t need you here. Go spend time with your girlfriend.”
“She’s not—“
“You heard her,” Jennie says, giving the woman a grateful smile and then standing, gathering up Lisa’s things. “Come spend time with me.”
“But—“
“If you don’t leave and stay out until tomorrow, I’m going to have to fire you.” Irene gives her the most bullshit my-hands-are-tied look. “That’s just how this works.”
Lisa finally stops floundering for long enough to say, “I’m pretty sure that’s not how that works.”
“Hey, I don’t make the rules.”
“Are you going to make me carry all of this by myself?” Jennie asks, heading towards the exit with all of Lisa’s things—including her precious laptop—balanced precariously in her arms.
Lisa heaves a sigh and follows after.
When they get to the park, Lisa wants to keep studying since she’s ‘in the mode’. Jennie obviously doesn’t think this is a good idea—“You’re overworking yourself, Lis. What if you get sick?”—but Lisa insists on at least finishing her essay because she’s on the last two pages, and Jennie relents. When there’s only half a page left to go, Jennie gets Lisa some bubble tea from the stand across the park as motivation to finish and they share it until, finally, the goddamn essay is submitted.
Once the laptop’s been put away and the bubble tea is gone, Lisa lays her head in Jennie’s lap and they talk for awhile about blissfully unimportant things while Jennie plays with her hair. Lisa relaxes for the first time in days, her eyes closed and the sun beating down on them while she listens to her favorite person in the world talk.
At one point, she says something funny, and Jennie laughs and leans down to press a kiss to her lips. It lingers, just like all of their kisses have lately, and Lisa wonders what they are, because she’s done denying to herself that they’re close roommates or best friends like she used to, but she doesn’t know if they’re together either. And she’s sort of done with the in-between.
Jennie pulls away, and Lisa stares up at her smiling face, contemplative. So much could go wrong, get awkward, change—for the worse—if she asks Jennie for an answer.
But so much could go right, too. They could become—something. Something real.
Or maybe they already are.
And so, before Jennie can start talking and change the subject, Lisa asks, simply, almost off-handedly, “Are we dating?”
Her heart speeds up in her rib cage when Jennie goes from smiling to frowning, and she’s terrified of what she might have just done to them—but then Jennie starts laughing.
Like a full-fledged, giggly, Lisa-what-a-silly-question laugh.
“What?” Lisa asks, laughing a little herself but also serious. She sits up, legs still stretched outward but her upper body facing Jennie. “It’s a serious question.”
“Sorry, sorry,” Jennie laughs, shaking her head fondly. She manages to collect herself, but a small smile still plays on her lips as she looks at Lisa. “Um, to answer your question—big yes. We’re definitely dating.”
Out of all the answers Lisa might’ve been expecting—maybe; no; of course not Lisa you’re such a creep—this was possibly at the very bottom of that list. A definite yes? “Really?”
“Yeah?” Jennie chuckles, brushes a strand of hair out of Lisa’s face. “What else could’ve been going on here? Did you think we’re just two platonic friends who platonically kiss and platonically call each other baby?”
Well, when she puts it like that, Lisa sounds…”God, I’m an idiot.”
“Hey,” Jennie says, that reprimanding tone in her voice that she always uses whenever Lisa says anything bad about herself. “It’s not your fault for being confused. I mean, we never talked about it. I just sort of assumed we were taking it very slow, but, still…” She looks down at her lap. “We never confirmed it.”
Lisa hears the implication in those words perfectly. She may not have noticed that she and Jennie were dating, but she’s not stupid enough to miss Jennie’s sad eyes.
But she’s not giving this to Jennie that easily, either. She points a finger at her. “Hey, you have to be the one to ask.”
Jennie blinks innocently, which is bullshit and they both know it. “Ask what?”
“You know what.”
Jennie pouts now, still going for cute and innocent and, okay, it might be working a little bit. “But I want you to ask.”
“You’re the one who decided we were dating!” Lisa can’t even believe she’s arguing with Jennie about something like this, because for the past year all she’s been dreaming about is a moment like this and now she’s acting just a little bitchy. But she’s not backing down from it. “You have to ask. It just makes sense.”
Jennie drops the act and sighs, rolls her eyes, looks off into the distance as if this will really hurt her pride. She’s used to Lisa being the one who folds—not the other way around.
Lisa raises her eyebrows.
Jennie smiles.
“Well?”
She shakes her head. “You’re impossible.” Then, she clasps Lisa’s hands in hers, clears her throat, fixes a somber expression to her face, and says with as much theatrical flare as someone could possibly muster, “Lalisa Manoban, my beautiful little airhead, my most favorite person ever, my greatest love—“ she kisses Lisa’s hand and gives her a little grin, knowing she’s testing her patience, then gets back into character—“would you please, please, please, make me the happiest girl in the entire world—no, the entire universe—and be my girlfriend?”
There they are. The three words that Lisa has been waiting to hear for months, maybe even since she first met Jennie, coming out of Jennie’s mouth. For real.
And yet the usual butterflies don’t cause a tornado in Lisa’s belly, nor does the heat creep up her cheeks or the anxiety swell in her chest. She feels…calm. Sure of herself, of Jennie, of what they are and can be.
Lisa looks at the girl she’s in love with, and it feels like coming home. “Took you long enough.”