Work Text:
“I think I’m in love with Tweek.”
It comes out of nowhere, the words slipping out of his mouth like vomit before he can stop them. Clyde freezes, pausing the game they’re playing to look over at him.
“Dude, what the fuck?” He says, because Craig Tucker has never so much as uttered a word about liking someone, even in a platonic way and yet here he is, apparently proclaiming his love for their blonde friend.
“I know,” Craig groans, because what else is there to say? He knows how weird this is, he’s never even so much as hinted that he liked Tweek anymore than he would any of their other friends. He had kept that secret tucked away under lock and key for so long, but that’s the thing, it’s been two years and Craig is still utterly and hopelessly infatuated with the guy and it’s slowly eating away at him.
“We’re playing Gears man, how are you even thinking of Tweek right now?” Clyde drops his controller onto his bed, shifting his whole body so he can face his best friend properly. Craig shrugs at him in response, because he honestly doesn’t know where it had come from. One minute he’s shooting the shit with Clyde and then, there was Tweeks’ face, all beautiful and vibrant in his mind's eye and Craig can’t help but think about what would happen if he were here right now and then...and then…
Then what? He confesses his love for his friend to his best friend because he can’t for one more moment keep his mouth shut? God, he’s such an idiot.
“Sooo...what you gonna do about it?”
Craig whips his head round to face Clyde so fast he thinks he gets whiplash, because what kind of question is that? He knows he’s not going to do anything about it because it’s Tweek and there is no way that Tweek feels the same way as him.
“I mean, I gotta be honest...I’m not totally surprised now that I think about it,” Clyde says, scrunching up his face in thought as Craig frowns at him.
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Well ya know, you’re you and Tweek’s Tweek.” Clyde says, gesturing to Craig.
“That makes no sense.”
“I mean, you’re Craig and Tweek. I dunno dude, it just- seems right? Like, I’ve seen the way you two look at each other, neither of you are subtle.”
“The fuck is that supposed to me-”
“- and I just thought it was this weird thing you both had going on and Tolkien told me not to point it out so I didn’t say anything and we all just...accepted it, for what it was. So I guess we were just waiting for you both to...do something about it?” Clyde props his arm on his knee, leaning his chin on his hand and watches Craig. Craig, who is beginning to feel like he’s about to go through some existential crisis, had something heavy and ballooning at the bottom of his stomach ready to pop. He’s always been the kind of guy who has prided himself in being difficult to read. If nothing else, he was the kind of person who always kept their emotions in check so that he didn’t have to go through all this bullshit, but if the guys had noticed and then-
“Wait, you said ‘we’? So that’s just you and Tolkien right?” Craig glares over at Clyde as he tilts his head.
“Weeellll....”
“Oh for fucks sake, who else?”
“There’s not many of us ya know? Just me and Tolkien, Jimmy, Bebe, Butters, Kenny. Red. Ummm, a couple of others, I guess.” Clyde says, ticking each person off on his fingers.
“Great. Just...great.” Craig falls back onto the bed, covering his face with his hands.
“Look, it’s not the end of the world. I mean, Tweek hasn’t said anything to you right?”
Craig peeks out between his fingers.
“So that just means that he is as in the dark about your feelings for him as you are for his, so all you gotta do is march right up to him, tell him you love him and ta-da! Done. Problem solved.”
Craig slides his hands away from his face, sitting up with a disconcerted look on his face.
“You want me to march right up to the most paranoid person we know, and tell him that I like him-"
“-correction: love him -”
“-love him, whatever, shut up. You want me to say... that, and then say, ‘oh by the way apparently everyone thinks you have a huge crush on me too, sooo’ and expect him for one moment to just be okay with that?” Craig looks over at Clyde whose mouth opens and closes like a fish for a minute before slowly nodding.
“When you put it like that...”
“Besides, I don’t even know if I believe you. Like, it’s Tweek. I think I would have noticed if he- ya know...liked me like that.”
“Dude, c’mon. Have I ever steered you wrong before?” Clyde’s smile is wide and honest, as if the only expected answer Craig is supposed to give is no. The look on his face must say it all because as Craig opens his mouth, Clyde holds a finger up at him.
“Actually, don’t answer that. The point is, Craig, bestest buddy of mine, bro from another ho’, my ultimate number one dude in the most het way...I’m serious about this. I would never, ever ever ever, tell you that Tweek was like, just as in love with you if I thought he wasn’t. It’s written all over his face when you guys are together. You’re both kind of insufferable like that, I gotta be honest.”
Craig snorts, “Asshole.”
“It’s true! I promise you! When you’re together it’s like the rest of us don’t exist and you do this weird eye contact thing where it’s like, you know exactly what the other person is thinking but without actually...saying anything?”
“We do?” Craig asks, and he can feel his face growing hot under the attention. Clyde smirks, clicking his fingers.
“You do! Ask anyone! Ask Tolkien, he would never lie to you about this! In fact, we should text him now!” Clyde pulls out his phone and immediately starts tapping away at the screen, his fingers a blur as Craig makes a grab for his phone.
“No, dude what the fuck are you doing?!”
“Look, you wanna ask Tweek out right? Right?”
Craig relents, nodding.
“Then we gotta come up with a game plan. Me and Tokes got you brother, I promise.”
Craig pauses, contemplating the idea. They only have one more year left of high school before they all split up and go their separate ways, and he’s not sure that he could cope a whole year without knowing if there could have been anything more between him and Tweek. He definitely isn’t going to be able to live with himself if he finishes out his education saying nothing at all, and now Clyde has given him hope. If that many people have honestly noticed something, then surely they can’t all be wrong? Especially Clyde. It’s not like he has ever really been that interested in Craig’s love life before, so for him to be this invested...there surely has to be some merit to what he’s saying.
Craig’s not sure if he trusts Clyde completely to handle this with him though, because knowing Clyde he’ll be opening his mouth first thing tomorrow and confessing to Tweek everything that Craig isn’t ready for him to know yet. Tweek’s special, and this has to be handled delicately otherwise he’s just going to freak out and Craig will have completely blown his chance. So Tolkien is the most logical next step.
He looks over at Clyde, who has frozen with his fingers hovering over the SEND button. Craig nods and that’s all it takes for The Great Woo’ing of Tweek to commence.
Craig has a feeling he’s going to regret this.
He hasn’t slept and he looks like shit- the exact opposite of how Craig wants to be as he trundles his way into school. It’s not even as though he has ever really cared about his appearance, but today is the first day in his attempt to get Tweek to at least go out on a date with him, so he knows he should have put more effort in this morning.
It’s the nerves. Craig has rarely been nervous, because what the hell has there ever been anything to be nervous for? He’s articulate and outspoken and opinionated and these are all things that have always kept him on the path he wants to be on, but now the road is opening up to possibilities that Craig didn’t even think were possible; and now it’s all going to get so complicated. Craig likes routine, he likes knowing where he is going and what he is doing and he hates drama, so why does he feel like he’s about to jump into the thick of it?
The list of suggestions that he, Clyde and Tolkien have decided on feels like it is burning a hole through his phone. They’ve come up with a few very finely pointed ways in which Craig can ask Tweek to be his boyfriend, Craig just has to pick one and run with it. If that doesn’t work, move onto the next and the next and keep going until something sticks. Craig’s a realist, however, and just like he knows not to lend out birthday money to four assholes in his grade, he knows that nothing in his life ever goes to plan.
Suffice to say, Craig is not confident.
ATTEMPT ONE:
BE BLUNT. ASK HIM OUT DIRECTLY.
He feels like this is the best option, like pulling a band aid, right? Just get Tweek alone, get it out there and clear the air. Maybe he doesn’t even have to just come right out and say the L word, but just hint that maybe they should do something together, alone in a non-platonic way and go from there. It’s not like Craig has ever been shy with what’s on his mind before.
Tweek is standing by his locker, as usual. Routine. Okay, he can do this. It’s easy right? Just open his mouth, say some words and be done. Like one of those really shitty class presentations that they always have to do by the end of year, but without the audience of around twenty other students.
By the time Craig reaches his locker his hands are already clammy and he can feel his throat constricting.
“Hey dude,” he croaks out and Tweek responds with a bright smile.
Craig’s brain is struggling.
“Hey! You’re late man, I thought you weren’t gonna make it before the bell.” Tweek dips a hand into the satchel at his waist and pulls out a Tweek Bro’s flask, slightly chipped from overuse, and takes a long sip. Craig shrugs, pulling his backpack higher onto his shoulder.
“Late night I guess.”
“Did you spend all night playing video games with Clyde? I told you dude, never do that on a Wednesday. He goes like- crazy when his dad's not there to supervise him.”
Craig nods slowly, desperately trying to swallow.
“You okay?”
“Yeah. I just- kinda wanted to talk to you. Or ask you something.”
Tweek's eyes widen.
“Okay...? Are you okay? Am I okay? Oh god you’re not like, in trouble with the cops or anything? Because I can’t afford to bail you out man and if my parents find out I’m friends with a criminal-”
“No dude,” Craig laughs, “nothing like that.”
“So?”
“So?”
“So what is it Craig? You’re killing me here.”
Tweek’s staring at him, his face so open and honest and so damn cute and since when did words become so hard to articulate? Craig coughs, clearing his throat and takes a deep breath as he pulls at his earlobe. He goes to open his mouth when Tweek suddenly interrupts him.
“You’re nervous,” he says, and Craig frowns at him, feeling somewhat caught out.
“What?”
“You’re nervous . You pull at your ear whenever you get nervous about something, like when you’re in the middle of a test or you’re about to tell someone bad news. You’re never nervous, man. You’re not gonna tell me bad news are you Craig? Jesus, it’s only eight in the morning, I’m not cut out for any bad news right now! I need at least four more coffees to handle first period and you’re gonna come at me with bad news! It’s like you don’t even know me, why would you do this to me Craig?!”
“Tweek damn, it’s not bad news. Shit.”
Tweek deflates slightly, sighing as he takes another sip from his cup and twiddles with the strap of his bag.
“Oh. Well then why are you acting so weird?”
Craig goes to tug at his ear again and stops himself when he realises just what he was about to do. “I just- I wanted to ask...because I’ve been meaning to say something for a while and I didn’t-”
Just like most things in Craig’s life, there’s always something - or usually someone - waiting to screw things up. This time it’s the late bell.
“Can this wait? I really don’t wanna be late. McKellick scares the shit out of me man.” Tweek hoists his bag slightly on his shoulder, looking expectantly at Craig. Bringing a hand up to his temple and rubbing it in frustration, Craig sighs, signalling with his other hand for Tweek to lead the way.
“Yeah, it can wait.”
Damn.
ATTEMPT TWO:
ASK HIM WITH A GIFT.
This option is Craig’s second choice, if only because it means he can use his gift as a distraction if all goes tits up.
Tweek’s a simple guy and Craig’s pretty au fait with what his interests currently are, though they sometimes change so quickly it’s often hard to keep up. It takes him a couple of days to decide exactly what he thinks would be a good gift, something that he knows Tweek wants but won’t go out and buy himself for whatever reason. Craig's got quite a lot saved up for his car fund, but he doesn’t mind dipping into it if it's for the blonde.
It’s a Saturday so he’s invited Tweek over early because he knows he has an afternoon shift at work which means that neither of them will be forced to sit through any awkward conversations should his gift not be well received.
The box on his bed squeaks.
“Shhh, not long I promise.”
Craig is beginning to think this might not have been such a good idea after all. He’s pacing his room, running a hand through his hair when his mom announces Tweek’s arrival. He doesn’t bother to go down and greet him, he knows Tweek will make his way up to Craig’s room as comfortable in Craig’s house as he is his own.
Something stirs in Craig’s stomach at that thought, at how integrated Tweek has become in his life, intertwined with his family and his home like he has always belonged there, a part of the furniture.
His bedroom door opens and there is Tweek, all bright beautiful smiles and coffee stained teeth. Craig smiles softly in return as Tweek closes the door, leaning against it with hands behind his back.
“Hi,” he says in greeting.
“Sup, dude?”
“You…wanted to see me?”
Craig nods, scratching his forehead idly as he looks anywhere but Tweek. His nerves are burning, ice fire through his veins. This is it. All he has to do is give the gift and imply that now they match, they should really spend some one-on-one time. Alone. Together. In a romantic way. It’s really not that hard, people do this thing everyday. They ask out their friends, their crushes, total strangers in the street. Craig can open his damn mouth and ask a simple question.
Tweek is looking at him expectantly, waiting for Craig to explain why he requested Tweek’s presence so early on a Saturday when he could have easily been lying in bed, listening to music and pretending he isn’t utterly in love with his best friend.
“Soooo…” Tweek says and Craig jumps, pulling at his earlobe as he turns to gently pick up the box that’s hidden behind him.
“I…got you something,” he says awkwardly, sending Tweek a small smile.
“You got me something?”
“Yeah. Erm, here.” Craig thrusts the box out in front of him and cringes when he hears a small squeak from the inside, the little ball of fur probably surprised at the sudden movement.
Tweek steps forward and takes the box gingerly, slowly opening the lid. He sits in silence for a moment with eyes wide as he looks at the gift.
“It’s...a guinea pig?” Tweek says, finally looking up at Craig, an unreadable expression on his face.
“She, and yeah. Do you not like her?”
“No no, I love her I just-” Tweek bites his bottom lip, “I’m not sure why? I’ve not forgotten my birthday, have I?”
“No Tweek,” Craig laughs fondly, “you haven’t. I just-”
“Is this what you wanted to talk to me about the other day? About the guinea pig?”
“No. I mean, yes. Kinda...I just…” Tweek is staring at him and his eyes are so, so green and it’s all Craig can focus on and he opens his mouth to say something, anything. To let the words just tumble out like he so wants them to but they don’t. He swallows. He can’t, he can’t do it and he’s really starting to hate himself for it.
“I...just wanted to do something nice for you. Stripe needs a friend, who better than a Tweak right?” Craig says instead, internally berating himself for his own cowardice, because really?
Tweek smiles at him however, lips stretched wide across his face with a light blushing of red across his cheeks and Craig thinks it the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen.
“Thank you, Craig,” Tweek finally says, and Craig feels everything shatter beneath him.
“Sure, no problem.”
ATTEMPT THREE:
ASK HIM WITH A NOTE.
This has to be the worst out of all the ideas Craig has thought of yet. At least that’s what Tolkien had said in the group chat last night while Clyde had just sent a never ending stream of emojis.
It isn’t like Craig doesn’t know this. He one hundred percent realises that he’s being a creepy asshole right now. He knows he’s going about this whole thing so backwards that this is surely going to backfire on him in all the worst ways, but he just cannot face himself to say those words he so desperately wants to to Tweek and it’s killing him. At this rate, any hope he has of ever saying them is slowly dwindling.
It really shouldn’t be this hard. Tweek, he’s just a guy who knows nearly every little thing about Craig. A guy whose house he’s spent endless days and nights at as his parents are barely ever there, who he’s shared his most embarrassing secrets with and it’s all seeming so comparatively small to this moment. The last two attempts at face-to-face interaction have sucked so hard, so this time, he’s had to think right outside the box.
Tweek is currently at his locker, balancing books in his arms as he tries to get his combination right. The hallway is pretty deserted at this time, thanks to Tweek’s weird habit of waiting at least fifteen minutes once the bell has gone for the corridors to clear out, so at least there is no one around to bear witness.
There's a thud and muttered curse and Craig frowns as he sees a book that’s tumbled from Tweek's hands to the floor as Tweek struggles to regain control of his belongings enough to finally get rid of them. It’s hard to be a simple bystander when all Craig really wants to do is go and help. He knows how easily Tweek gets stressed out and anything he can do to make that better is well worth his time, he thinks.
Tweek finally manages to unlock his locker and is immediately faced with Craig’s ill placed note as it flutters in his face and then descends slowly to the floor. He leans forward slightly, desperate to see Tweek’s reaction, but Tweek is just standing there, staring at where it landed on the floor.
Craig can’t see his face, but judging by his rigid posture and the way he cautiously kneels down to pick up the piece of paper, it can’t be good.
Much to his own chagrin, Craig hasn't allowed himself to make his writing completely illegible. He hasn't signed the note off from him, and the writing is definitely not Craig's best work, but Tweek's smart enough to figure out where he recognises that messy scrawl from.
The words he’d written have imprinted themselves in his brain. A small confession of attraction and wish to speak the truth. He hopes it's enough, but it's hard to judge Tweek's reaction from his shaking hand.
The boy in question turns his head to the left, looking down the hall and Craig slams himself back into the wall behind him as he has no doubt that Tweek is looking for his mystery admirer.
Craig stays that way even as he hears the clunk of another book being thrown in a locker, the slamming of metal and the tell-tale patter of Tweek’s footsteps as they rush down the hall.
He passes Craig on his way out with not so much as a backward glance. It wouldn't bother Craig, except he doesn’t miss the scrunched up paper that gets thrown in the garbage on Tweek's retreat out of the school doors.
He hits his head against the wall behind him.
Well, fuck.
STEP WHATEVER
KISS HIM AND PUT US ALL OUT OF OUR MISERY
“Craig! Tweek’s here!”
Craig startles from his position on his bed. It’s Sunday night and he’s been hiding out in his room since Friday after the whole note debacle. He hasn’t heard one word from Tweek, but he suspects that if one of the guys left a creepy love note in his locker, he probably would feel some way about it.
He completely ignored texts from Tolkien and Clyde asking what happened, and from Jimmy and Kenny on requests to hang out over the weekend. He really doesn’t feel like having his failures laid out in front of him for all to laugh out. It’s pretty pathetic really, but there we go. That seems the going rate for Craig right now.
He’s panicking about what to do, ranging from pretending he’s not in his room (an obviously idiotic idea) to diving under the covers and feigning sickness. He’s got his back to the door when it opens and Tweek’s suddenly there, slowly closing off Craig’s only exit.
“Hi,” he says, as if Craig’s whole world isn’t about to crumble beneath his feet.
“Hi yourself,” is what Craig says back instead.
There is a silence between the two of them before Tweek sighs, shoving his hands in his pockets as he takes a couple of steps toward Craig.
“Did you think I wouldn’t notice?”
“What?”
“How weird you’ve been these last few weeks?” Tweek clarifies, pulling a hand out of his pocket so he can bite his thumb nail. A nervous habit.
“I haven’t-” Craig begins, but Tweek holds his hand up.
“Craig, it’s me. We’ve been friends long enough that I know when you’re acting...not you.”
“Okay. So, I’ve had a few off weeks, so what? It happens, chill out about it.”
“I’m just saying, if you have something you need to talk about, you can talk to me about it. You know that right? You don’t need to like, sneak letters in my locker or anything dumb like that.” Tweek looks at him so earnestly, eyes green and bright, so easy for him to get lost in.
“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Craig replies, scuffing a socked toe along his worn carpet. He can feel his cheeks heating with an embarrassment he is desperately trying not to feel.
“Sure you don’t," Tweek says with a roll of his eyes. "You’re really gonna make me do this aren’t you?”
“What?”
“You’re hopeless,” Tweek huffs in amusement, scrubbing a hand over his face before he takes a breath, grabbing Craig’s face with both hands and kissing him. Craig freezes, eyes blinking rapidly as Tweek pulls back.
“Okay…” he says against Tweek's mouth. Tweek laughs.
“Clyde told me everything when you wouldn't answer his texts.”
Craig immediately feels his face redden with embarrassment.
“...fuck's sake,” he says, making a mental note to both punch and hug his best friend when he next sees him.
“I thought I would just make things clear,” Tweek says after a moment. "I’m in love with you too.”
“Cool.” Cool. Because it will be forever known that Craig Tucker is awful with his words.
They’re still so close, lips still touching as they speak, it’s a little awkward but Craig can’t begin to care.
“Can I kiss you again?” He chooses to say instead.
“Fuck yes man.”