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If you told Yoongi a year ago, honestly if you even told him ten minutes ago, that he would be standing in the single riders line for a ferris wheel; he would have told you to promptly fuck off. In fact, the Yoongi of now was still quite puzzled how he ended up here with the soles of his shoes brushing against cracked concrete. The line shifted forward, the creaking of the metal structure had become distant and dull after about five minutes of waiting.
The downfall of his insanity had started three weeks ago, when he sat down in his studio and looked into his well to see that it was completely dry. Not a single measure, line, or note. Naturally he spent an hour or so smashing his fingers against the keyboard hoping that something would come through but he started to panic, just a little, that he had gone completely tone deaf.
One week went by and he thought, hey, just a fluke. Two weeks went by and he was more nervous. Then it had been three weeks and he was pretty sure that someone could swim in the dark pools under his eyes.
That’s when Namjoon had knocked on his door, a grimace on his face. “It’s happened, hasn’t it?”
“No,” he slammed his fingers down once again, the piano sounded like it was crying. “Maybe.”
“Min Yoongi has burnout.” Namjoon had a wicked type of smile on his face, Yoongi thought it was odd that he would be grinning here at his funeral. “You’re human after all, I was starting to be suspicious that you were an alien plant.”
“The last song just took a lot, that’s all.” He grumbled, scootering away on his rolling chair, back to his desk.
Namjoon hummed, folding his arms over his chest and leaning on the doorway, “Or maybe it’s the fact that you’ve been working non-stop for like, ten years now? I get burnt out all the time, without producing until my fingers bleed.”
“Maybe,” he grumbled again, pointedly ignoring him, hoping that he would just lose interest and go away. He should have known better.
“You can ask for help, you know. I’ve been through this enough to know some tips and tricks.”
“Go away,” Yoongi sighed, letting his forehead hit his desk.
Silence for a few moments, then hands hooked underneath his armpits, lifting him up to his feet so fast that it made his head spin. He fought against it, wiggling and squirming but Namjoon still managed to drag him to the threshold. “Come on, the faster we fix it the faster you can be at peace.”
“If I throw a stick, will you leave?”
Namjoon ignored him, calling out as he dragged Yoongi down the hall. Yoongi had gone boneless at this point, but it did nothing on the jolly green giant. “Jin Hyung! Grab Yoongi Hyung’s shoes, we’re going out!”
The singer's head poked out of the open recording studio's door, already adorned with comically large sunglasses and a sun hat. “On it!” He rushed past them, on his way back to Yoongi’s studio.
“You shits planned this didn’t you?” He peered back at Namjoon who was now somehow man handling him with only one arm as he pushed open the door and grabbed Yoongi’s coat.
“No.”
“Liar.”
So now there he was, Namjoon had chucked him into a car and then pushed him onto the pier, then straight into the single riders line for the ferris wheel. He said something about how a change of perspective always helped him. When Yoongi asked why he was going alone the human giraffe had pointed back to Jin who was already standing by a photo booth with two giant corn dogs in hand. Namjoon looked at him with pools of honey in his eyes, Yoongi hated them.
“I need to get back to work.”
“You're an addict.”
“I hate you.”
“Love you too.”
“Sir, do you mind riding with someone else?” The attendant's voice shook him back to his dreadful situation.
“Yeah whatever,” he shrugged, shivering as a breeze from the sea brushed across his face.
The attendant pointed him over to a carousel, it was white with red accents. He could barely see a person shrouded behind the center pole, with a bright yellow jacket on. He kept his eyes glued to his feet as he climbed in, refusing to look anywhere but out at the coast. Namjoon wasn't here to make him interact and he was going to take advantage of that.
The ride lurched and they started to rise up in the air, he wrapped his jacket around himself but soon enough the sun was shining down directly on his head. That stupid metal umbrella above them was useless. The creeks of the metal and screeches of seagulls accompanied them as they rose up more and more. At the peak of the circle the beach goers looked like worms, he may have laughed when he watched a kid get knocked over by a wave, just a little.
They stopped about ¾ of the way around, probably to let more people on, and then they were going again. He drummed his fingers on the metal railing as they started to ascend once more. The sun was even stronger, he braved looking into the capsule, there wasn't really any shade to duck into unless he was going to go sit on the other rider's lap, who was still obscured by the pole.
He was having a mental battle between sunburn and social interaction when a head popped around the divider and he about had a heart attack.
“Do you want some sunscreen?” A hand stuck out next, a white tub extended out to Yoongi. “Sorry, it’s just that you look a little red.
His eyes were big and almost upturned at the very ends of his lash line. He had sharp cheekbones with a rounded jaw, and heart shaped lips that were pressed into a firm line. Pressed into a very firm line. His eyebrows were accentuated by worry lines, his hand was shaking now that Yoongi looked closer.
The sun pounded down on the back of his neck as he contemplated, he raised a hand to his cheek, it was warm. Carefully he reached out and took the sunscreen, the other guy shifted a seat over so that they could see each other fully now. His yellow jacket was accompanied by a blue shirt and baggy jean shorts.
Yoongi cleared his throat, looks like Namjoon didn’t have to be here after all, there was no getting out of it now. “Why are you on the ferris wheel if you’re scared of heights?”
Those big eyes widened and his brown hair bounced as he sat back, “I’m that easy to read?”
Yoongi shrugged, looking away again to rub the lotion into his cheeks, “I’m good at reading, I guess.”
“Ah.” he got a name instead of an answer, “I’m Jung Hoseok.”
“Min Yoongi.” He handed back the sun screen, “Thanks.”
“It’s not as bad as it used to be.” Hoseok pulled up a knee to his chest, the compartment swung just a little, he put the leg back down. Yoongi had to suppress a smile. “I used to cry every time I even came close to this thing, but I decided to try and get over it so I come and ride every week. I usually ride with my friends but I didn’t really feel like third wheeling today.” He pointed to the cart ahead of them, “I'm warning you now to avert your eyes when they come into view.”
That did make him smile, he was sure Namjoon and Jin were scarring children right now as they spoke. The heavy weight that had been on him all day was loosening up a bit. They were getting closer to the top now, “Thanks for the heads up. Why the sudden change?”
Hoseok inched a little bit closer, his eyes getting brighter, he had the type of eyes that someone could drown in. “I'm a dancer! I got hired on by a company to do background dancing but that requires lots of flying and obviously that wasn’t going to work.”
“A dancer?” His interest was peaked now. It had nothing to do with those eyes and that smile, nope not at all.
“Yeah!” Hoseok’s chest swelled up with pride, “I’m going to own my own studio one day and train the best dancers in the industry!”
Yoongi smiled despite himself, “I believe it.”
He might have been imagining it but a little bit of red dusted across Hoseok’s cheeks, the dancer pushed his hair out of his eyes, chuckling a little bit. “Sorry, sometimes I get too excited.”
Yoongi blinked, what in the world was he sorry about? “Don’t apologize, I like it.” He snapped his mouth shut as soon as the words left his lips, damn it. One pair of pretty eyes and he was tripping over his words like a doofus.
Hoseok’s face was definitely red this time, he muttered out a little, “Thanks.”
They arrived at the top, that’s when it happened.
A groan and a giant bang and the ride stopped completely, the breeze brushed past them. Hoseok had gone stock still, his spine as straight as Yoongi used to act in middle school.
“I’m sure they are just letting more people on.” Yoongi rushed the words out, trying to act nonchalant.
“Yeah, probably.” Hoseok's shoulders dropped just a little.
A minute passed, then two, then five, Yoongi just watched helplessly as Hoseok got tenser and tighter.
“We’re stuck,” Hoseok croaked, his hands balled up into his jacket. He still smiled though, even if it was a strained one, “Awesome.”
“We don’t know that for sure.” Yoongi quickly rebutted, looking around as if Namjoon was suddenly going to gain the power of flight to come and save him from his situation. He was never good at comforting face to face, even if he excelled at it over text.
The old speakers crackled to life at the top of the main pole, he could barely make out the voice talking, “-experiencing technical delays, please wait and stay calm as we fix-”.
“Shit.” he whispered, head whipped back to where Hoseok was… laughing?
“Of course this happens to me!” Hoseok was covering his eyes with his hands, they were shaking again. “It’s cool, it’s cool, we’re fine. This is just like a final test!” He took in a big breath and let it out slowly, forcing his body to relax.
“Hoseok?” Yoongi’s fingers twitched, he thought about reaching out to pull his hands away from his face.
“Hobi hyung!” Two voices yelled, Yoongi almost got whiplash as he scanned the sky around them. “Hyung! Are you alright?!”
The friends! Yoongi carefully made his way over to Hoseok’s side of the carriage, trying his hardest not to shake the boat so to speak. He set a hand on Hoseok's shoulder, and peeked over the edge of the railing, two faces looked back at him in the next cart over. They were understandably shocked. “Who are you?” They shouted, one with curly hair and the other with puffy lips.
“Who are you?” He yelled back, he breathed out a sigh of relief as Hoseok chuckled, just a little, next to him.
“That’s Jimin and Taehyung.” His voice was a little shaky, but not as bad as Yoongi thought it would be. All the exposure up until then really must have helped. “Can you tell them I am fine?”
“He’s fine!” Yoongi immediately yelled down, Hoseok lifted a single thumbs up high into the air. “Well, kinda!”
“He hasn’t passed out yet?” The curly haired one shouted.
Yoongi turned to Hosoek who had lowered his hands now, “You used to pass out on this thing?”
“Like I said, it used to be much worse.” He responded to Yoongi before yelling, “I’m fine Tae!”
Jimin and Taehyung let out a little cheer, Hoseok smiled, Yoongi felt the anxiety in his chest loosen up. He turned back around slowly before settling into the seat next to the dancer, “Sorry I’m not really good at this. I don’t really know how to help.”
“Don’t apologize, I like it.” The sarcastic tone in Hoseok's voice startled a laugh out of him.
“Really, you’re doing fine.”
“It helps if you hold his hand!” The one with the puffy lips was smiling deviously when Yoongi looked back.
“Jimin, I'm going to kill you!” Hoseok shouted, gaze still stuck to the floor in front of him.
Yoongi watched as the couple giggled to each other. Hoseok's ears were bright red when Yoongi looked back, his fingers woven tightly together almost like he was praying. Yoongi was sweating, he wiped his hands off on his pants and cleared his throat, “Would that really help?”
Hoseok closed his eyes, his head dropping low as he sighed. “I’m going to kill them.”
It was enough of an answer for him, he slowly reached over and grabbed the dancer's wrist, dragging it towards him.
“You really don’t have to-” Hoseok's eyes shot open, he looked up for the first time since they had stopped.
“Shut up.” He shot back, slotting their fingers together. “Maybe I’m scared too, ever thought of that?”
“You’re not,” Hoseok snorted, “Keep talking, you have a nice voice.”
It actually wasn’t the first time he had been told that; he used to talk Namjoon to sleep during bouts of insomnia before Jin replaced him. He searched his brain for a moment, feet tapping against the metal traction plates. “Who said I’m not scared of something else though?”
Hoseok hummed, “So mysterious.” He was squeezing Yoongi’s hand pretty hard, Yoongi didn’t mind.
“I came here today, well I was forced here, because apparently I am not immune to burn out. I’m a producer for Bighit, and in my ten years of working there I have never run completely dry, until now. My friend, Namjoon, said I needed a change of perspective so he shoved me on here, which is stupid because I really just need to be back in my studio.”
Hoseok was silent next to him, when Yoongi looked over he was staring at him, head tipped to the side. “You make music?”
“I do.” He nodded. “Well, apparently not today, or ever in the future.”
“And what is music to you? Is it just a job?” Hoseok scooted a little closer, tugging on his arm through their linked hands.
Yoongi’s eyes were wide open, he paused before answering. “It’s everything.”
“Then you’ll be fine.” Hoseok nodded decisively, “Just because you needed a break doesn’t mean you love doing it any less, it just means that you needed a break. That’s it.”
“Huh.” His eyes were caught on Hoseok’s face like a bee to honey. “You seem pretty sure.”
Hoseok patted the top of his hand with his free one, “Music is everything to me too.”
Yoongi could feel his cheeks heating up, distantly he wondered if he needed more sunscreen.
Hoseok cleared his throat, “Anyways.”
“Oh yeah.” Yoongi shook his head, he felt a bit dazed. A strong gust of wind came by, rocking their carriage. Hoseok scooted closer, their shoulders pressed together, Yoongi pretended not to notice. He thought quickly, “I can tell you about the time that I tried to take dance lessons.”
Hoseok was laughing bright and loud by the time the ride started moving again, a whole 30 minutes later. Taehyung and Jimin were waiting with open arms as Yoongi led the way off the ride, waving off the apologizing attendant. They rushed to him, hugging him tight and cooing seeing their hands that were still stuck tight together, Yoongi hadn’t even noticed. Hoseok laughed lightly, slipping his hand out of his grip, “Thank you, for helping me.” He was fiddling with the ends of his sleeves, Jimin and Taheyung were standing a few feet behind them, trying their hardest to conceal their shit-eating grins.
He opened his mouth, nothing came out. He wanted to say something, anything- “Yoongi Hyung!”
He spun around to see Namjoon and Jin pushing through the crowd, Jin swept him up in a hug immediately, crushing him to his chest. “Hey guys.” He groaned. “Wait just a second-”
He managed to flip around in Jin’s hold, but Hoseok was already stepping away. He sent Yoongi a small wave, Yoongi’s tongue was once again frozen. One little wave and he was gone, followed by a protesting Jimin and Taehyung.
“Who was that?” Namjoon asked next to him.
Yoongi just stood there in the crowd, the seagull calls suddenly sounded like a melody, his fingers itched.
It took over another week of him going to their pier to run into Hoseok again. It was a Tuesday and he had resolved to give up after that day. He was getting tired of trying to sneak out of the building without Namjoon seeing him. The teasing had been relentless.
He had been writing well again, maybe it was the two hour lunch breaks he was taking each day to try and catch Hoseok, he only felt a little pathetic.
Today he bought himself a cotton candy, and stared down anyone who gave him a strange look, adults can eat cotton candy alone. There was nothing wrong with that.
He strolled up to the ferris wheel, settling down on a bench that gave him a good view of who was getting on and off. The smell of sea salt welcomed him like an old friend. He was only going to allow himself 20 minutes today, then he really needed to get his head back into the game. He had a song concept meeting coming up for the new Jungkook album and he couldn’t let Namjoon carry the load by himself.
5 minutes, 10 minutes, 15 minutes passed. He propped his chin up on his hand, his cotton candy now gone. A flash of yellow walked past him, he sat up.
There he was, his heart sped up in his chest and he scrambled to his feet. Hoseok stopped right in front of the line, head tipped up towards the top of the ride, hands stuffed in his pocket.
Yoongi gulped, threw away his cotton candy stick, and ran a hand through his hair. He tried to be extra quiet as he made his approach, silently coming to stand next to the dancer. His lips were frozen, he was kind of just hoping that Hoseok would notice him there but his eyes were absolutely trained on the ferris wheel as it went round and round. Hoseok sighed, Yoongi pushed his rising fear back down his throat. “Funny seeing you here.”
Hoseok jumped, Yoongi tried his best to keep his face calm but inwardly he was grimacing. Then those caramel eyes were on him again, and he was melting, the sun wasn’t even out that day.
“It’s you!” Hoseok looked a little bit breathless, which was exactly how Yoongi felt.
“Hi,” He managed, trying his hardest to not look away.
“Hi,” Hoseok breathed out. Yoongi suddenly didn’t know what to do with his hands, he tucked them into his pockets.
He cleared his throat, “You going to ride today?”
Hoseok's face turned a little sour, Yoongi immediately regretted it. The dancer looked back up at the ride, “I should.”
If you could’ve looked into Yoongi’s mind you would have seen 1,000 mini Yoongi’s searching through every single drawer and cabinet of his brain. Finally he settled with, “Maybe you just need a break.”
Hoseok looked back down at him, “What?”
“A break?” He was less sure of himself this time, but Hoseok’s surprise must have faded away because he laughed.
“Okay.” His eyes were shiny.
Yoongi bit his lip, extending a hand out. “Let’s take a break then.” He hoped with all his might that he hadn’t misread things.
Hoseok looked at his hand, Yoongi coughed. “I’m not scared right now.”
Yoongi had done it now, he had totally misunderstood the situation. Still, there was a tiny voice whispering to him that it was now or never, “I know.”
A smile broke out on Hoseok’s face like the sun rising over the ocean, Yoongi about fainted. The dancer grabbed his hand, lacing their fingers together tightly. “Where do you want to go?”
Yoongi breathed out, coming to realize that no sunscreen could have ever protected him from those rays, “With you? Anywhere.”
Two months later Taehyung and Jimin wrinkled their noses when Yoongi asked if they wanted to ride with him and Hoseok. Hoseok just shrugged, sitting as close as humanly possible as the ride started to ascend, his face totally relaxed.
“Sun screen?” He asked, pulling out a tube from his bag. His fingernails were blue, Yoongi’s heart was pure red.
He nodded, pushing back his hair from his forehead, Hoseok fingers were light on his skin, he hummed. The lotion was cool, Hoseok’s eyes were unbelievably warm.
Yoongi let his eyes slide closed, the gentle breeze sweeping around them. Hobi drew him closer, hands cradling Yoongi’s cheeks. The kiss was sweet, the sea breeze was salty.
See, if you would have told the Yoongi from a year ago, or even a month ago, that breaks would become his favorite things in the world he would have told you to take a hike. The Yoongi of now however, would tell you without hesitation that breaks meant Hoseok. Breaks meant Hoseok with those eyes and that smile and that laugh. Half of his songs these days were written about him anyways.
“Hyung, have you passed out yet?!” Hoseok lifted a hand to the sky, flipping off their friends in the carriage below them.
Yoongi was head over heels.
“Thank you for taking a break with me today,” Hoseok pushed Yoongi’s bangs behind his ear.
Now that he thought about it, Yoongi wasn’t sure that his fall into insanity had ever really stopped, it just morphed. Because as he sat here with his boyfriend in the middle of an ordinary Thursday, he never wanted the break to stop.